Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire
by FictionFreak95
Summary: When Private Eye Edward Cullen decides to investigate the "accidental death" of an old friend, he finds more people are involved then he originally theorized as the case takes twists & turns he never saw coming after Bella Swan arrives in town. AH, BxE
1. Not Quite the Beginning

**A/N: Hope you like him. **

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**Edward Cullen ~ Dick for Hire **

**Offering Professional Private Investigative Services **

**Including but not limited to**

**Lost items * Crime Investigation * Missing People**

_**(Cheating Spouses and Stalkers negotiable)**_

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**Prologue ~ Not quite the beginning, but a good place to start**

**CULLEN POV**

_Fuck my life, _I thought to myself as I opened the door and took in the sight in front of me.

"Just give me the fucking money!" The punk was yelling, hysterically almost. Sweat was beading up on his pre-pubescent forehead. He was small, wearing jeans that hung down passed his ass, a white v-neck t-shirt that was way too fucking big for him, and a dark blue bandanna was tied around his head. His two-hundred dollar tennis shoes were untied.

_Probably another new member to some lame motherfucking street gang from DC, proving his worth_.

He was holding a gun up to the owner of my favorite Chinese takeout place just downstairs from my apartment that over looked the Severn River in Annapolis, Maryland.

_Not cool dammit._

I looked at my watch. _Late again. Sorry Alice._

The little Asian man behind the counter was screaming incoherently in Chinese, holding his hands up in surrender to the kid with the gun, shaking uncontrollably.

The cook in the back was cowering behind his stove, looking up every so often to see if the gunman was gone or not.

This was not good. I let my head fall back as I stood there with my hand still on the door handle so that I was looking up at the ceiling and let out a long sigh.

_Stay…or go?…stay…go?_

_Screw it._

_Just another fucking day in the city._

_Right?  
_

I walked in as the kid was taking a breather. He was definitely a newbie. Shaking hands, very jumpy, nervous blinking. _Typical Amateur._

I scowled at him. "Why don't you move along kid, there's nothing here worth killing anyone over," I urged, hoping he'd listen to some fucking reasoning.

"You shut the fuck up!" He yelled, suddenly pointing his gun at me.

And that's just not fucking acceptable.

A grimace formed across my mouth. I was annoyed as hell.

I threw my hand across my body and palm fisted his wrist, probably breaking it and forcing the gun he was holding out of his hand and to the ground. Then I pulled my elbow back up to meet his face and he went down like a rock, blood splattering the wall behind him from a busted nose as he fell.

"No. _you _shut up," I answered in the best Al Pacino voice I could muster, pointing at his unconscious body. "YOU… shut the fuck… NO! _you_ fucking… _you…_"

_Ah, fuck it. _

Ya know, nobody can do Al Pacino, like Al Pacino.

The little Asian owner stopped yelling and looked at his newly blood stained wall, then at me.

I straightened myself and walked up to the counter. "To go for Cullen?"

He paused another minute before pulling a bag off of the stainless steel shelf behind him and handed it to me with a shaky hand.

I gave him two fifty's and said, "That should cover the food, the mess and then some… he'll be up in a few minutes," nodding to the boy lying on the floor behind me, "you might wanna call 911."

He took the money and simply nodded to me, still shaking.

Before leaving the tiny river front restaurant, I picked the kid's gun up off of the floor and tossed it onto the counter. As I made my way up the stairs in the back alley to my place, I shook my head at what a complete and utter fucking disappointment today's youth was in the US.

At the top of the stairs, I checked the points of interest outside of my apartment before entering.

The shards of glass on the ground were still intact, the tape on the door hadn't been tampered with, and the wire on the windows had not been moved.

Even I had to shake my head at my own over active imagination about people being out to get me.

_Paranoid much, Cullen?_

I pushed the key into the lock and entered the one-thousand square foot area that I call home. I checked my watch again. I still had a good fifteen minutes to eat, clean up, change and only be _fashionably late_ to Alice's latest clothing show. I was okay with that, since it meant I wouldn't have to do the socially acceptable thing and interact with the rest of my family before the show. Alice is the only member of said family that I still associate with… on a friendly basis that is. _Long story_.

_Feel the love. Relish in it. _

Other than the fuckery that some might call my lineage, I am actually pretty content with my life.

I live alone. I have a one bedroom, one bath apartment, white walls, no color. I keep meaning to paint, but you know… life. There's one black leather sectional sofa in the living room and some candles on the shelves that I've never lit along with some pictures of me, Alice and Emmett from when we were kids.

_Good times. _

There's No TV whatsoever, I don't have time for that shit, and no fucking play station or any of those other mind fuck games either. I'd rather read a book, which I have a hell of a lot of. It's an addiction… there's worse things out there. Believe me.

The kitchen is small, it has a stove, but I don't cook. I didn't say I _couldn't_ cook, I just choose not to. The refrigerator doesn't have much in it, just leftovers from miscellaneous take out joints, and there is a large bag of Purina dog food leaning against it for the stray mutt I feed that hangs around outside sometimes.

He's some sort of mixed breed from what I can tell. Definitely part Yellow Lab, possibly part Chow too, he's pretty fucking grumpy sometimes. I think that's why I like him, he reminds me of me.

Hey, don't knock it. He's someone to talk to, and accepts me for who I am, which is more than I can say for most people I know.

A bottle of Patron Silver Tequila adorns my coffee table at all goddamn times. Because I fucking love the shit, and it's the best. It's that simple.

My Taylor T5 Acoustic-Electric Guitar sits in its case most days, next to the Patron. It's for particularly bad days only. _I say that like bad days are rare. _And yes, I play that motherfucker like your sister's pussy in the back of my Aston Martin v12 Vanquish.

_Call me Elvis._

The simplicity of the apartment shouldn't fool you. I'm paid pretty god damn well for what I do. I just don't like to waste good money on living space. I'd rather put that shit away for 'a rainy day' so to speak and I'm pretty fucking happy with having very little space to clean actually.

I have a closet full of almost the same outfits for most days, varying slightly in color only. Jeans for work, jeans for play, and jeans for every fucking thing in between. Hanging next to the jeans, are some turtlenecks, a few button down shirts and vintage tees from some of my favorite concerts over the years. I own one black leather jacket for cold days and a scarf my mother gave to me when I graduated from the Academy. _Another long story_.

There's a closet that mirrors this one. I don't use it much. It's chock full of clothes Alice has brought by for me from her collections. She thinks I need to step up my wardrobe. I keep the clothes, because I love my sister, and because she'd beat my ass senseless if I tried to get rid of them.

I have an iPod player for music and a queen sized bed for sleeping. And speaking of beds, I never bring women here, that just wouldn't fucking fly considering the intricate computer and communications center that's set up in what really should be a dining room. I don't need people snooping through my shit if you know what I mean. I've got it wired so that if I was to need to leave in a hurry, nothing would be salvageable upon my departure.

If I was to want to fuck someone for the evening, which, let's face it, I need to blow off some goddamn steam every once in a while, I usually arrange to go to their place, or just rent a fucking hotel room for the night, what difference does it make to me?

I don't do relationships. They don't fit into my lifestyle.

Seriously, that really is the reason.

I carry several types of IDs, a passport, plenty of cash, and weapons you've probably never heard of before.

I'm typically hired by private citizens to solve their own personal mysteries or crimes committed against them, but every so often, the DC Police call upon me for my expertise in a case. I know, pretty fucking sad isn't it? They can't even handle their own goddamn work load. But it happens. Plus, they don't like me much, so if I get killed in cross fire, no skin off their backs. Lucky for me I guess that I'm motherfucking kick ass at what I do.

My name is Edward Cullen, I'm a private investigator. Or as some of my close friends call me, a "private dick".

That was a joke. I have no close friends.

I'm lucky to make it alive through a lot of days, and from what I hear, I'm not a joy to be around, but I get the fucking job done. There isn't a criminal around this area that doesn't know my name and avoid my ass at all costs. There also isn't a cheating spouse that hasn't heard of me and doesn't watch their back when they're out gallivanting with their mistress or sugar daddy.

Hey, if I make one dumb fuck think twice about getting some action somewhere other than their own home, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Another joke. I don't do warm and fuzzy. _Ever_.

I'm completely misunderstood and unloved, my childhood was stressful, leaving me with relationship issues, and I may or may not have a small anger management problem.

At least that's what my court appointed shrink says.

Welcome to my world.

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**A/N: Be gentle. I'm a delicate flower.**


	2. Not So Very Good First Impressions

**A/N: If you're back for more...thanks for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy the fuckery that is about to unfold.  
**

**Chappy song = Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum**

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**Chapter 1 ~ "Not so very good first impressions" **

**CULLEN POV**

"This does _not_ look right."

As I pulled up to the older Annapolis building and parked across the street from it, it didn't exactly scream "posh" to me, but this was the right part of town, and I definitely had the right fucking address.

I put the binoculars up to my eyes and squinted through them, watching the tenth floor, corner window, where my unknown client had advised the indiscretion was happening.

I say unknown because I took this job via telephone, which I typically wouldn't fucking do. I also don't typically take this _type_ of case, except that things had been a little slow lately, and I was just a tad desperate. Desperate and Edward Cullen do not mix well. So…

I waited.

And waited.

Have I mentioned I'm a patient motherfucker?

I have to be in my line of work, hell sometimes this shit took _days_. Lucky for my ass though, that was not the case today. After about an hour, I saw movement and adjusted the focus on the nocs so I could get a better look.

"Bingo," I said to myself, because the pay off on this case was big, and papa wants a new Wilson Tactical Elite handgun.

I grabbed my camera from the back seat, my revolver from the glove compartment, _just in case_, and headed into the building.

Or at least I thought I was heading into the building.

_Shit_. Security guard.

I stopped before opening the door to the lobby and walked around to the side alley, making my way along the brick wall, looking for another entrance. I spotted a few windows, but no doors.

I shrugged. _Works for me._

I broke the glass to one particular window that led in to what looked like a community kitchen for the building. After I made an attempt to clear the broken shards that were sticking out and hadn't fallen to the ground with my jacket, I started to crawl through.

Not gonna lie, I winced a little. Stinging pain and hard pieces of glass grinded into my back as I pushed my way through the small opening. I'm pretty fucking tall. Six foot one inch, a hundred and eighty pounds, so maneuvering through that comparatively tiny fucking hole was hard. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to make a huge enough mess to get me through that window easily. _Ya work with what you've fucking got._ That's my motto.

_No alarms. That's a plus. _I'm also a lucky bastard sometimes.

I peeked down the hallway outside of the kitchen and the security guard out front appeared to be completely oblivious to me. I shook my head and sighed. _What a fucking waste of resident's money._

Making my way down the opposite direction and throwing my jacket back on, I grabbed a door that had a sign above it that told me it was the stair well and opened it. I tested it to make sure I could open it back up from inside and then started taking the stairs two at a time, up the ten flights of fucking stairs I needed to climb.

_Yay me._

I'm in pretty good goddamn shape, I have to say. I work out four days a week, I run, I lift weights, and have even been known to do some sit ups on occasion. But those ten flights? They kicked my motherfucking ass.

I took a breather before entering the hallway on the tenth floor.

"Okay…Tenforty-six, tenforty-six…_lookin' for tenforty-six_," I said to myself over and over, remembering the address again, and because I tend to babble at times of high stress. "Tenforty…tenforty-two…tenforty-four…ah,there you are." I walked up to the door and listened for a minute.

_Definite movement in there, maybe even some moaning_.

I knocked on the door and readied myself. There was no peep hole, so I had that going for me.

"Who is it?" A man's voice called out. He seemed annoyed at the interruption. _I feel for ya buddy. _And I heard the distinct giggling of a woman also.

"Security," I said. "Got a complaint about some wall banging?"

More giggles. Including my own. Cause that shit was pretty fucking funny. _Wall banging. _"Oh, uh… sorry about that. We'll settle down."

_Well hell_.

I frowned as I thought for a minute.

I cleared my throat and threw on my authoritative voice. "Sorry sir, we're going to need you to sign the complaint form… paperwork you know." I can sound uber-professional when I want to.

I waited.

Then I heard the lock click.

_Sweet Pay Day is comin' to papa!_

He opened the door and I started snapping pictures through my camera before either of us could even register who was standing there. "Say cheaters anonymous!" I said as I lowered the camera, laughing to myself, to let the poor sap know he'd been busted.

_Oh..Shit._

"Shit! _Mayor_?"

_Priceless!_

"What the fuck _is this_?" He demanded. The giggling woman stopped her giggling, but was now right behind him now, with nothing but a blanket wrapped around her. She smiled and flipped her hair when she saw me. "Oh. Hey Edward," She said all coy and shit, eying me up and down with a smile.

_Holy mother of cans of worms, this just gets better and better._

I nodded toward her a little hesitantly. "Hey Lauren."

Lauren and I had uh…_hung out_ a few times in the past. She's a reporter for the Washington Post. Very creative at getting leads on the good stories. Nice girl, but gets around a little too much for my taste. And that's sayin' a whole hell of a lot. Clearly she was getting around in all the right places lately.

I kept snapping the pictures. I mean I'm not a fucking idiot.

_Snap_.

"You know this guy?" He sneered at her. She shied away from him a little bit.

_Afraid? Embarrassed? Hard to tell._ "We just… we um… well we _never_…"

_Snap._

He shoved her out of the doorway, and out of the picture frames. "I…sir…your wife knows about your uh…_extracurricular activities_ you have going on here…You should probably go home and try to make amends while you can."

_Snap… snap… snap._

He narrowed his eyes at me and lifted his hand, pointing his finger at me. "You're that Cullen Investigations asshole, aren't you?"

I stopped snapping pictures at that, and beamed one huge ass motherfucking smile, because to be honest, I was having a star struck moment at that point. I mean seriously, hearing the mayor of goddamn Washington DC say _my motherfucking name_? That's golden. "That's me sir, glad to meet you."

I stuck my hand out to shake his and he grabbed for my camera. "Give me those pictures Cullen! You've got NO right to…"

"Sir… with all due respect, I have every right to take your picture." I started for my pocket. "I have a press pass and everything, you wanna see it?" I was like a giddy school girl for crying out loud. I'm not kidding, you could slap a skirt on me, bend my ass over and spank that motherfucker. And I'd like it.

He grabbed his cell phone and called who I could only guess was either a body guard or security detail, because when he snapped it shut after only a moment of talking, he smiled smugly at me.

_Time to make like a tree and leave Cullen._

"Well, it was nice meeting you sir, I'll be in touch." I started to leave back down the stairs I'd come up, but two men in dark suits were already running up that way. Now, I'm not one to run from a fight, I can take care of my motherfucking self, but these two already had their guns locked, loaded and poised. And I really didn't like killing people unless I _absolutely_ had to. Plus, being that they were the Mayor's detail and all, if I even pointed a gun at them, I'd be in jail faster than you can say 'fuck me hard'.

I pulled the door shut and grabbed a pen out of my jacket pocket, jamming it into the lock on the door handle. Then I headed to the floor's elevator and pushed the button to get the hell out of dodge.

Over and over and over again.

_Dammit!_

I heard a gunshot and the stairwell door swung open. The two highly fucking annoying body guards ran out and the Mayor yelled at them "He went that way! I want that fucking camera!"

_Shit! This could get ugly Cullen… think double oh seven…_

I looked both ways and decided that desperate times called for desperate motherfucking measures. I ran for the window at the end of the hallway opposite the Mayor's play pen. I opened it, really hoping to the depths of hell that there was a fire escape.

Negative.

Okay, maybe I'd hoped in the wrong direction.

_Mother of..! Fuck me!_

There was a ledge though, and there were definitely two huge ass gorillas running down the hall to beat my ass to a pulp even if I _did_ hand the camera over willingly, which I wasn't about to fucking do, so I headed through the window and onto the ledge.

"Oh marymotheroffuckingjoseph please do not let my ass fall," I prayed, inching my way quickly along the wall, grasping for anything to hold onto.

One of the suits leaned out the window just as I got to the corner that wasn't too far away and started working my way around it. He grabbed at me, but I was just a few inches out of his reach, thank the gods. "Cocksucker!" I screamed, because let's be honest, it wouldn't take much for me to lose my balance on this fucker and fall to an untimely god damn death.

I looked down and realized that there was a distinct possibility that I was afraid of heights, but I really didn't have many options unfortunately.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. _Fucking_ shit," I whispered, inching… inching… inching…

The good news was, that on the other side of that corner I just maneuvered myself around? There WAS a fire escape. I jumped onto it, practically laughing with hysterics, and slid down the railings with my hands, holding my feet up till I got to the next landing. I rinsed and repeated that shit till I was down on the ground and bolted for the Vanquish.

One of the suits must have been faster than the other, because he met me as I exited the alleyway with his gun swinging at my head. I'm not one to brag, but I finished first in most of my reaction under fire classes back at the Academy, so when he swung, I ducked and punched him in the gut. While he was catching the breath I'd just knocked out of him, I finished my sprint to the car.

Just as I was starting her up, I saw suit number two and the lazy ass security guard running out of the building. _Thank god for slow elevators. _I hit the gas and sped passed them, waving as I did and I'm pretty sure one of them told me I was 'number one'.

Safely away from the maniacal body guards, I cranked some music and bobbed my head and took pleasure in another successful goddamn job well done.

_Mission completion motherfuckers! _

When I parked the car in the underground garage I just fucking sat there with my head against the car seat back and closed my eyes for a few more minutes listening to the end of the song, raking my hands into my hair.

"Fucking. A."

I got out and made my way to the office I rented on the third floor, and checked all of my security check points. _Good to go. _Then I entered, turning the lights on, throwing my gun down on the desk. I took my shirt off, which hurt like fucking hell because the blood from the shards of glass in the window I'd crawled through earlier was drying and sticking to the fabric.

"Mmmmmmotherfucker," I grunted, pealing the cotton tee from my skin.

I threw the shirt out, because it was ripped anyway, and I'm not a fucking seamstress, nor do I know one, other than Alice, and if she saw this shirt she'd probably slap me for wearing it before fixing it up for me.

In the tiny bathroom off of the main office area, I cleaned my back up with the first aid kit I kept there as best I could since I couldn't fucking reach every scrape that had formed. I pulled two pieces of glass out of my side and wondered how I didn't feel that shit earlier, because it sure as motherfucking hell hurt now.

After I bandaged myself up pretty good, I grabbed a clean shirt out of the closet in the hallway and took my camera into the dark room I'd built into the corner of the front office to develop some seriously incriminating photos of our Nations Capital's Mayor.

I can _afford_ a digital camera, but they're really not much fun. I like the old fashion way of developing my pics. It's relaxing, and there's something very fucking sexy about watching my work appear slowly out of nowhere. It's not just the sex acts that I'm talking about either.

_Perv_.

I get all motherfucking tingly about crime scenes, perps being followed, evidence stills…any and all of it. And sometimes, when a photo is in the process of developing in front of your eyes, you tend to pay more attention to the little things. In some cases, that's the pay dirt right there.

About a half hour and two shots of Patron Silver later, I heard the door to the front office open and purposeful clicking of heels crossing the hardwood floor.

And yes, I keep a bottle of Patron at the office too. Are you insinuating that shit surprises you?

"Hello?" Called a very sweet, _very _sexy sounding female's voice. "Mr. Cullen?"

Hmmm, she knew me. Or my name at least. That's not unheard of. Lots of women in the DC metro area knew my name. The question was, _why_ did she know it?

"Be right out, have a seat!" I called, wondering if I could place the voice if she spoke again.

"I just thought I'd come over and introduce myself. I've heard all about your work."

She was walking around out there; I could hear her shuffling papers, looking through my shit. And what did she mean she'd heard all about my work? Was she a client?

"I said, be right out! Please don't touch anything!" _Motherfuckers messing with my shit_.

"God, I _love_ your office, mine is so… wow, you graduated summa cum laude?"

God_damn_ she was getting annoying, sexy voice or not. "Ma'am, I _said_ I'll.."

The door to my dark room opened and the light came in, flooding the room and ruining…my _fucking_…photos! "Motherfuck! What the hell, lady!" I was scrambling, an instinctive reaction, trying to save some of them, but I knew it was all for nothing. It didn't help that I couldn't see shit since my eyes had adjusted to the dark and now I felt like she'd stuck an ice pick in my fucking head.

She threw her hand over her mouth. "Oh! I am soooo sorry Mr. Cullen, I didn't realize this was a dark room, I just…"

"You _just_! You JUST! You just fucking ruined my pictures! Did you NOT hear me say I'd be right the fuck out?" Jesus mother! Shit! Everything was fucking ruined. It also did not escape my attention that the sexy voice was attached to a very beautiful, very brunette, and very fucking delectable woman. But that's beside the point.

She put her hands on her tiny hips and narrowed her beautiful chocolate brown eyes at me. Her hair cascaded down around her small, perfect shoulders in waves of auburn. She was wearing a pair of tight ass, shows all the right curves leather pants, and an equally as tight, black zip up leather jacket. _Also beside the point._ "You don't have to be so rude ya know? I was just trying to introduce myself."

_Was she fucking kidding me?_

I pushed passed her, back into my office area. "Lady, introducing yourself is 'hi, how are you? Nice to know ya.' Not… I'm gonna burst into your PRIVATE office…" I fixed the things on my desk that she'd moved. "RUMMAGE through your things…" I straightened the degree that was hanging crooked on the wall. "RUIN your PHOTOS!" I threw my hand in the air, motioning toward my dark room. "I mean, JESUS! Who _does_ that!"

She stared at me, mouth open, scowling. "Anal retentive, much?"

"I. Am. _NOT_…" I stopped, because I was fucking losing it, and I really didn't want to go to jail for punching a lady again. _Well, technically, he wasn't a lady, but the police didn't know that until after they arrested me. _"You know what…screw you lady, I don't _care_ who you are…get the fuck out of my office!" I pointed to the door. She clearly knew how to leave, since she'd figured out how to get in.

She huffed through her nose and walked passed me, rolling her eyes. "Fine. _Asshole_." She had a slight smirk on her face as she went by and I said "Hold it."

She stopped.

I looked back at the dark room door that held the sign that said "DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR" written in big fucking bold black letters. Then I looked back to her. _Damn she had a nice ass. _

"You did that shit on purpose."

She turned her head slightly but continued to leave. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I grabbed her by the arm, which was very toned by the way, and spun her around. She looked a little stunned at first, but seemed to swallow it down. "Yes you do…you fucking came here to ruin the photos, didn't you? Not to…_intro-fucking-duce_ yourself. You sneaky…little…"

"Mr. Cullen," She said, pulling her arm out of my grasp. "You would do well…" she stalked toward me, forcing me to walk backwards now. "to watch…" she put her hand on my chest "your fucking…" I stopped when I got to the wall and she leaned in so that she was about a dick hair away from my face, staring at my lips. My tongue flicked out instinctively, licking them. "mouth." Then she looked me in the eyes.

_Holyfuckinghell that was hot._

She turned on her red 'fuck me' heels, and left me standing there. Dumbfuckingfounded, awe struck, and with a raging hard on that would probably poke holes in most strong surfaces had I been near any of them.

"Bella Swan by the way," She said over her shoulder. "I'm your new competition. The Mayor says hi."

Then she was gone.

_Cullen, you just got fucked. Right up the ass._

_Point to the Swan._

When I regained my composure and somehow kept myself from destroying half the office out of sheer "I just got raped" syndrome, I picked up my cell phone and called Jasper.

"Yo!" He answered.

"Jazz… It's Cullen."

"Yeah dude, I know, I have caller ID."

_Smartass._

"I need you to find out everything you know on a Bella Swan. Tri state area. I'm pretty sure she's private, but could be public. Probably just moved here. Fax whatever you get to the apartment."

"Done."

"Thanks." I ended the call and slipped my iPhone back into my pocket, then sat down at my desk. Now I needed to make the hard call. The one to my client, the Mayor's wife I now knew, and tell her I'd gotten nothing for her. I had no idea how to make this call. That shit's never happened before.

I picked up the gun magazine laying on my desk next to the phone and stared at the picture it was opened to.

_There goes the Wilson. _

"Another time, my friend," I said to the picture.

Could I have just bought it anyway? Sure. But what kind of challenge would that be?

A few hours later I was completely and utterly done for the day. A couple of lousy leads on clients, a pissed off Mayor's wife, screaming headache was enough to put me in a pisser of a mood and fuck hot woman who's bound to make my life a little harder to say the least.

No pun in-fucking-tended.

_Definitely need the Patron tonight._

I was locking up and heading down the hall when I almost ran into my brother Emmett who was bounding up the stairs four at a time.

_Great._

My brother and I didn't exactly get along. He'd graduated the year before me from the DC Police Academy. _Long story, you don't wanna know._ He was a cop, and I worked with him every so often on a case if the DCPD needed me. I continually got the impression that he didn't like me much. He thinks my chosen profession is…_unethical_ to put it nicely. And I think he's too 'goody fucking two shoes' for his own good.

Seriously, the guy needs to just, I don't know… break a law or something sometime.

"Emmett."

He grimaced.

"Good to see you, as always Em."

"Edward, we need to talk. That shit you pulled today with the Mayor…"

_Here we go, defensive walls…check. Attitude…check._ "Em, his wife PAID me to 'pull that shit'…well…technically she didn't end up paying me, but she's the one who wanted the pics, _not me._ I can't make this shit up."

He looked at me with his typical fucking 'I'm so disappointed in you' look. I mean, for Christ's sake, with him, I don't even NEED Carlisle.

"Don't look at me like that Em. I really don't need this shit right now. I've had a bad motherfucking day."

"Well you sure as shit need _something_. Christ Edward, do you have any fucking self respect?"

I dropped my bag. Which is saying a lot, there's very expensive shit in my bag. I don't drop it lightly.

"You wanna do this right now Em? Seriously?"

He held his hands up in surrender. He may be bigger than me, but I've always been able to take his ass in hand to hand combat. I'm smarter, quicker, and know all of his weak spots.

I picked my bag back up and started walking down the stairs again.

He of course followed me.

"Edward…I'm just trying to tell you, you could be…you _should_ be doing so much more with your life than…" He hesitated and I took full advantage of that shit.

"Than what Em? Chasing murderers and putting my life in danger? Solving important cases for the DCPD? Finding kidnapped children before anything horrific can happen to them?" And those are just a few examples of my finest moments.

"Those aren't the circumstances I'm talking about and you know it Eddy."

I fucking hate it when he calls me that. And he knows that shit.

"People getting screwed over are people too Em. Don't hate me because I'm talented and people take advantage of that talent. And anyway, who's gonna solve their problems? The poh-poh?." I laughed. I was a little hysterical, I'll admit it. For some reason when it came to discussions with Emmett, I was always trying to prove something.

"Exactly Eddy, and you don't need to screw them over any further by taking their money either."

I spun around on him at that shit and punched his ass in the arm. "Stop fucking calling me Eddy!"

"Ow Edward… _Jesus_…" He rubbed where I'd just laid into him and we continued down the stairs.

As we exited the building, I opened the glass door for Emmett, giving him the hint that I really fucking wanted him to just leave.

"Look, Edward, I…" he started, but was interrupted by a muted popping sound followed by the glass of the door shattering to pieces at our feet. We both fell back into the building and flushed ourselves up against the walls on either side of the door. We also both pulled our guns out and readied them.

I looked over at Emmett. I was surprised a little that he still owned his old Ed Brown Kobra hand gun. It's an 'okay' hand gun, but so fucking 'last year' if you know what I mean. I cocked an eyebrow and nodded at him. "My gun's bigger than your gun."

"Ha ha, Edward…who's trying to kill you today?"

"I don't know, _maybe it's the Mayor_," I shot back.

Sarcastic?

Me?

_Nah_.

"Doubtful," He said snorting, and we both peeked around the outside to see if we could tell where the shot was taken from. I spotted the hitter up on the roof of the building across from us.

"Ten o'clock." I said as I aimed my gun at the shooter. He'd already packed his gear up though, and ducked down behind the wall to leave. "I'm going after him," I said, and started to run across the street.

Emmett grabbed me by the arm to stop me. "This is a situation for the police Edward, you might tote a gun, but that doesn't by any means make you an officer of the law."

_High and mighty motherfucker._ "Then I'll make a fucking citizen's arrest Em, you think I give a shit? That guy shot at me for Christ's sake."

"Shot at _US_, Edward. Not you, _US_."

"Okay first of all, why would anyone wait outside MY building to shoot at YOU? And secondly, you don't tell me what to do!"

We argued like that in front of my building until a car came screeching out from the alley across the street, almost hitting us, and heading off into the sunset. It was a red Ferrari with blacked out tinted windows. _Illegal. And not to mention flashy_. It had Maryland plates. Emmett wrote the plate number down on his cute little police pad of paper as I committed it to memory. He called that shit in to his department and I made my move for the Vanquish.

"Edward! Goddamn it!" I heard him yelling but I ignored him, jumping into the driver's side. I started up the engine and noticed Emmett crossing his arms and laughing at me now from across the street. I wondered what the fuck he found so funny.

When I hit the gas pedal and the car didn't move much, I found out why. _Four motherfucking flat tires._

"Son of a…!" Ferrari hit man must be smart too. _Note to self, get Jasper to look up plates._

I leaned my head forward and onto the steering wheel, closing my eyes and cursing at nothing when Emmett tapped on my driver's side window. I let out a deep sigh before opening the door.

"Guess you need a ride home, huh?" He said, teasingly and trying to stifle a laugh. I fucking hate his ass.

"I'll get a cab," I said as I exited the Vanquish and pulled my iPhone out to call my good friend Rose for a tow.

Rose is one hard ass, do not fuck with her kinda woman. She's also the best of the best mechanics in the area. She does most of the DCPD's work and I've known her since the Academy days. She always does right by me, and I think she has a fucking crush on my brother. _Why_, I do not know, but she'd be the last person to admit to that shit. And Emmett is too fucking dumb to realize it and ask her ass out.

I told you I'm a very perceptive motherfucker right? But I digress. And I don't dare plant a seed in either of their heads, I just like to sit back and watch the show.

"Don't be an ass Edward, I'll take you home."

I rolled my eyes and ignored him while I listened to the phone ringing on the other end of my call. "Yeah," she said after finally fucking answering.

"Rose, it's Edward."

"What'd you break this time, Cullen?"

I laughed. "I've got four flats and I didn't do it, a gunner did."

"Who's trying to kill you today?" she retorted. It sounded like a drill was running in the background.

"That seems to be the million dollar question Rose. I'm at the office, see you in ten?"

"On it," she told me and then hung up. Rose doesn't shoot the shit. She pulverizes it. I knew she'd be there soon.

When I ended the call I looked at Emmett, who looked anxious. "Rose is coming huh?" he asked like a little eight year old who was waiting for the motherfucking ice cream man to make to his street.

"Who else?" _Idiot._

"Maybe we should stick around to make sure she gets here okay and nothing happens to her. This is kind of a seedy part of town."

I scowled at him. Not only was that a rude motherfucking statement to make, but it wasn't true. My office wasn't _downtown_ or anything, but it wasn't scary either. "Uh huh. Seedy… sure."

Luckily it didn't take long for her to arrive, and I didn't need to engage in small motherfucking talk with big bro for very long. That shit makes me uncomfortable and one of us always ends up saying something that makes the other one get decked.

She jumped out of the cab of her truck and immediately started hooking my baby up for me. Emmett just sat there watching her with the most idiotic look on his face. I wanted to slap him. I think Rose did too.

When she was done and getting ready to pull out she hollered at me, "9am Cullen. See ya then." And she was gone. Another missed opportunity by the very popular, very loved Emmett Cullen ladies and gentlemen, top of his class at the Academy… bottom of a box of rocks when it comes to romance.

"What?" he asked me, noticing my disgust in his idiocy.

I shook my head at him. "Nothing," I told him as we made our way to his police car. He must have just gotten off his shift when he came by the office. Boy, he did _not_ want to waste a motherfucking minute in telling me what a screw up I am. He never drove the cruiser around when he wasn't on the clock.

The ride to my apartment was quiet. I didn't have shit to say and Emmett was probably kicking himself for not talking to Rose. You won't find me complaining.

I got out when he pulled up and I didn't invite him in.

"Edward," he called out. _Damn_. Just as I was about to make a clean get away, too.

I stopped but didn't turn around. I just looked up at the overcast sky about to open up on me.

"Mom's cooking tomorrow, it'd be nice if you came by."

I should have known. _The double whammy_.

I took a deep breath and yelled over my shoulder to him, "Got plans bro. Be sure and tell dad I said hi though."

"You could tell him yourself, ya know."

I just kept walking down the alley to the stairs that led to my quiet sanctuary.

That is until I was met, rounding the corner, with a knife at my back by some shit head with a bone to pick.

_You've got…to be motherfucking kidding me._

I made a mental note that when I finally did make it home that night, that I was paying a visit to that random website, fuck my life dot com and logging an entry. 'Cause I'm pretty sure no one could top the complete full of shit day I'd just had.

* * *

**A/N: THANKS for reading him!**


	3. A Little Bit of Lovin' Goes a Long Way

**A/N: Dickward's FuckMyLife(dot)com entry:**

_**Today, I got chased by security detail out onto the 10th story ledge of a building, my pics of a cheater and his fling got ruined, my new "competition" is proving to be a royal pain in my ass... my brother thinks I chose the wrong profession, I almost got shot, twice, and then I was held up at knife point... FML**_

**Chappy song = Fever by Elvis Presley**

* * *

**Chapter 3 ~ A Little Bit of Lovin' Goes a Long Way**

**CULLEN POV**

"You're joking. Right? Am I on one of those stupid fucking reality TV shows or some shit like that? Because if I am, I'm kicking your ass."

You know, if you're gonna stick a knife in my back, you'd better damn site make sure you hurt me good, because if you leave any room for reaction whatsoever…you're goin' down.

That's called the Cullen guarantee.

"You owe me a goddamn gun asshole!" the perp yelled at me. His voice was young, familiar and I really didn't have time for his shit. I needed some fucking liquor in me and I'd already been delayed in that action long enough for one evening, if you ask me.

"How'd you get out of serving any time kid?"

"That's none of your fucking business _a-hole_! Now gimmee your gun before I gut you!"

_Said the spider to the fly._

I actually had to fucking laugh at that shit as I whipped around and grabbed his good wrist faster than he could say 'I'm a virgin'. I took the knife out of his hand and held it up. And then I was really motherfucking pissed off when I got a good look at it.

Just as I'd suspected, it was the kid from the Chinese Restaurant last week. He had gauze tape across his nose from where I'd clocked his ass, and his wrist was wrapped up tight. He was still wearing those over sized clothes and I wondered how the fuck he even walked around without tripping over his goddamn shoe laces.

I held the weapon up and scowled at his ass. "You held me up with a fucking _butter knife_? Are you _trying _to get yourself killed?"

Then he kicked me in the shin.

Hard.

"What the _fuck_!" I threw the knife down and grabbed him by his over sized shirt collar.

"Let go of me, you dick!" he screamed while flailing his good arm around. "Let GO!" But he wasn't going anywhere. I noticed the bandage job on his arm was completely and utterly unprofessional and asked him, "Who'd you go see about the wrist kid? Dr. Doolittle? 'Cause you know he only works on animals, right?"

He waved me off and put on what I could only guess was his attempt at a game face. "None of your…"

"Fucking business, yeah I know," I finished for him. He didn't seem like the typical street gang type if you ask me, now that I was getting a better look at him. They typically roamed in packs. This was the second time I'd seen this kid and he was alone both times. That shit didn't add up. I let go of his shirt and he shrugged his shoulders, fixing it on his frame.

_Come on, Cullen… Step away from the complicated situation. You can do it._

I furrowed my brow.

"Where are your parents?" I asked him.

_Ya had to go there didn't you? _

"None of your…" Wow, if nothing else, I needed to teach this kid some new words.

I held my hands up in surrender. He clearly wasn't telling me shit. "Okay, okay… let's try something else… when was the last time you've eaten?"

He frowned at me and didn't answer.

_Fuuuuuuck._

Let me just get one goddamn thing straight right here and now. I do not take strays in. Even the dog I feed never enters the apartment, he knows how to fend for himself when he's not hanging out around my place, and he certainly doesn't rely on me for his happiness. But when a kid doesn't appear to have a home and he hasn't eaten in who knows how long, what the fuck am I supposed to do, turn my back on that shit?

"You like Spaghetti kid?"

He licked his lips, but still didn't answer. Yeah, he was hungry. I could almost hear his stomach growling from five feet away.

I started walking up the stairs and he didn't budge. _Stubborn Little shit._ "Come on. There's leftovers in the fridge. And I'm hooking you up with a real goddamn doctor."

When I checked the points of interest outside my door and entered the apartment, he still hadn't moved.

I left the door open.

Inside I grabbed the Patron and headed for the kitchen. I threw my bag and keys onto the table next to the couch. If I put this shit off any longer, I may not get the liquid goodness into my system soon enough and who the hell knows what kind of fuckery I'll get into then.

I noticed the fax from Jasper waiting for me in the dining room slash communications headquarters and eyed it while I passed by to get myself a shot glass.

As I poured the drink, I thought about the possibilities this information would bring me with regards to Bella Swan. The only thing I know about her so far, other than she likes leather, is that she works for the Mayor. Depending on how you look at that, it could be a good thing, or a bad thing. Working for the Mayor that is. Leather is always good.

I personally try to lean toward the good, and look at things positively most days.

With regards to Bella Swan, I can honestly say, that I _positively_ think she is bad motherfucking news.

I put the shot glass filled with my favorite drink up to my mouth and tilted my head back, letting the alcohol burn on its way down. I closed my eyes and let the day's activities wash away with the numbness that engulfed my tongue.

_Good stuff._

When I opened my eyes again, the kid was standing there, watching me with curious eyes.

"Don't judge me kid. I get enough of that shit from my family."

A shrug made its way across his shoulders and he took a look around the place. Seeing the shit that I had set up in the dining room his eyebrows shot up and he said, "WOAH! What are you like, James Bond or something?"

_Don't I fucking wish._

"Don't touch anything," I said, then motioned to the kitchen counter stools. "Sit."

I made him a paper plate full of food and sat it down at the counter, then grabbed him a soda from the fridge. He inhaled the spaghetti and ignored the soda. I mean really, what kid ignores soda?

"I gotta go," He said, wiping his mouth on his shirt and starting to leave.

"Hold the phone kid. I'm not done with you yet." I didn't know for sure if my intimidation tactic would work, he could have just bolted at that point but he stayed. He turned around and looked up at me with the biggest, most annoying motherfucking puppy dog eyes I've ever seen in my life.

Not that I've seen a lot of that shit. And not that it had any effect on me whatsoever.

I handed him my dad's business card after thumbing it for a few minutes. Shit. It's not like I didn't know Carlisle's number by heart anyway, regardless of whether I dialed it or not. "Go to Georgetown University Hospital and ask for this guy. He'll take care of your wrist. Tell him…" Hell, I didn't know if giving him my name would hurt or help his situation when he saw my dad.

In the end I decided, _Fuck it._ "Tell him Edward sent you."

He took it hesitantly and looked confused. "Chief of Surgery? You know this guy?"

I laughed. "You could say that."

"Thanks." _Okay, he's a _polite_ stubborn little shit._

"Edward," I told him. And held my hand out for him to shake it, which he did, and then replied, "Seth."

I smiled. "Good to meet you Seth. Now stay the fuck out of trouble."

He tried to remain bad ass, but I saw the corner of his lip turn up as he left. I just hoped he really went to see Carlisle. Broken bones don't heal well when you ignore them. He was too fucking young to spend the rest of his life with a fucked up hand courtesy of Edward Cullen.

I sighed, content that I'd done my good fucking deed for the day and turned back to the fax machine awaiting my attention in the dining room. But not before I poured another shot of Patron.

"Okay, Miss Swan, what do we know about your pretty little ass?"

I picked up the piece of paper and immediately scowled. I turned that bitch over even though I knew it was a fax and wouldn't have shit written on the other side. All it was, was a hand written note from Jasper that simply said "Call." That shit's not like him. So I picked up the fucking phone and called.

"Yo," He said.

"Jazz, it's Cullen."

"Yeah dude… we've been over this. _Caller ID._"

"What the fuck Jazz?"

"Well, it's odd," He said, and I waited because that wasn't the answer I was fucking looking for. He gave me a dramatic pause and then continued. "She must have a government level type of security on her shit because I was barely into her info when my computer got assaulted with a virus."

_Huh?_

"Are you shitting me?"

"Dude, I shit you not. I had to shut it all down. But I did get a work address from my manual sources. And a previous address."

_A fucking virus?_ Jasper's shit is top of the motherfucking line and he doesn't get viruses, he _SENDS_ the virus.

"Definitely odd."

"Only a setback dude, just means it'll take me a little longer, but I'll get the skinny."

That he would. "What's the work address and where is she from?" I asked him, drumming my fingers on the table quickly and bouncing my foot on the floor. I grabbed a pen from the drawer.

Okay, I was a little anxious. Can ya blame me? I needed fire power. And for some reason getting a little bit of info on our petite seductress made my dick twitch with what I can only explain away as a hard on for revenge.

_Yeeeeeeee-ah… okay pal. Whatever gets you through the night._

He gave me the info on where she worked and I couldn't help but crease my brow at her previous place of living. _Forks motherfucking Washington? Where the hell is that? _And what is a chick from some po-dunk town in the middle of bum fuck doing with government level computer protection?

I needed to finish up my conversation with Jasper. "Let me know if you get around the security issues. I'll pay you the ongoing job rate."

"Done dude. Later."

"Oh hey!"

"Yeah."

"See what you can get on a Maryland plate for me." I gave him the number and he agreed to add it to his list, then hung up.

Jasper and I have an understanding. I pay his ass well, and he gets me what I want. No questions asked. I don't know a lot about his history, Marine intel or some shit like that, but I do know he's a resourceful motherfucker. And I can trust him.

I ended the call and looked at my watch. _Too late to do anything tonight anyway._

I thought about heading down to a local dive bar I knew and drowning myself into a tequila induced coma but they charged way too fucking much for Patron there and I wasn't in the mood for throwing my money away after losing that fucking case today.

_Bella Swan, your days are numbered my friend. _

Plus, I had a perfectly good bottle of Patron right here, why leave?

I shoved the piece of paper I'd written Miss Swan, trouble maker extraordinaire's, place of business address down on into my bag for tomorrow. I knew exactly the part of town where she was located and I had to admit, I was a little jealous. Downtown Annapolis is prime ass real estate. I wondered how she could afford that shit and how the fuck she was capable enough to keep her computer system protected from Jasper's work on her own.

_Maybe she's got a partner._

_Yeah, and maybe I've got a winning lotto ticket that'll let me take a permanent vacation in Honolulu._

I walked over to the kitchen and retrieved my trusty shot glass from earlier, set it down on the coffee table, quietly poured the silvery liquid up to the brim of the glass and looked at it.

My mouth watered as I picked it up gingerly and turned the glass. "You're the only one that understands me," I said, and drank it up, letting the welcoming fire numb my throat. I took the shot glass and the Patron bottle with me back to the living room and grabbed my guitar out of its case.

Like I said, reserved for bad motherfucking days. I'm pretty sure today counted as one.

I strummed her a few times, sliding my fingers up the strings slowly, twisting her keys, tuning her up. "I know, honey, it's been a while."

I played something I'd written for Esme, _mom_, years ago. It was one of her favorites, but I hadn't played it in forever and I have no fucking idea why I started playing it today, but it did the job. I let the stress over a lost pay day from the Mayor's wife disappear, along with the wounds I'd encountered, the confrontation with my new competition, as she liked to put it, the gunman, the encounter with Em…. All of it, gone.

By the time I fell asleep on the couch it was late and half of the Patron was suspiciously missing. I don't know what fucking time it was. It really didn't matter.

What mattered was the way I woke up the next day.

Wet licking. Hot breath in my ear. _Friendly growling_.

And I'm not talking about the good kind either.

"Ugh!" I squinted my eyes open as the mutt licked my ear. "How the fuck did you get in here?" I asked him as I pushed his ass away. But he just kept fucking coming back for more.

Not that I could blame him, I taste pretty motherfucking good. Seriously, women tell me that shit all the time. But believe me when I say, and I can't stress this enough… _Fucking blech_!

I smacked my lips, trying to get the morning after drinking all night taste out of my mouth while I corked the now half empty bottle of Patron and set it back on the coffee table where it belonged. I was scratching the mutt behind the ears when I noticed the front door was cracked open and couldn't remember if I'd closed it properly last night after Seth had left.

_Definitely not like me._

_Regardless_. I thought to myself, I checked my points of contact outside the front door and then around the apartment for anything that might be missing. Especially after getting shot at the day before. I wasn't taking any fucking chances.

The communications center was still intact, that was a good sign. I absentmindedly placed my Taylor T5 back into its case and set it on the coffee table next to the Patron and finished my sweep of the place.

Once I was breathing easier, I filled one bowl up with dog food and another with water for the pooch and set them outside the front door, locking it up tight so I could grab a shower in peace. I called for a cab to come get me so I could pick up the Vanquish, and then I'd be ready for the office and a day of pay backs for Miss Swan.

_And believe me when I say, paybacks are a motherfucking bitch baby._

After getting yesterday's grime off of me, I felt fucking awesome. Well, _better _anyway. I threw on some jeans and a turtleneck since it was a little chilly out today, grabbed my bag and jacket, and told the dog goodbye as I left, making sure the contact points were intact to check on later.

"See ya 'round pup," I said as I left him sitting at the bottom of the stairs staring at me with the same eyes I saw on Seth last night. No, he's not a pup, but I can't be bothered with coming up with a name for him. 'Pup' works.

The cab was waiting on the street for me when I got there. _Perfectly timed, Cullen. You are golden. _My eyes instinctively scanned the buildings around me to make sure there were no gunners this morning. Like I needed one more thing to be paranoid about. But what are ya gonna do?

When I got to Rose's shop, she wasn't there yet but the Vanquish was ready and washed. _That woman is a motherfucking saint if you ask me._ The keys were in my visor and I set off for the office.

Once I got there I typed up an invoice for Miss Swan. _Wasted chemicals and photo paper, check. Lost revenue from client, check. Undue stress caused by the fuckhotness that is my newly sworn enemy… check. _

I printed off the paper listing all of the charges I was making her think she'd be paying for, grabbed my keys and headed to lovely downtown Annapolis for some entertainment.

_Time to go to the mattresses, Swan._

I bounced up the stairs to her top floor office with vigor. I was pretty motherfucking happy about the hell I was about dish out on to our lovely lady. Probably not what my shrink would consider a "healthy" reaction to our initial meeting, but it would be fun for me at least.

I couldn't wait to see the look on her beautiful little heart shaped face.

Nothing however prepared me for the scene I was about to embark on.

I could hear the music playing from down the hall. It peaked my interest, but didn't think much of it until I was at her door.

_Open…cool. _

I let myself in and was about to start right in on my performance, but the music was fucking blaring. She wouldn't have heard me anyway.

'Fever' was playing. And I'm not talking about that fucked up remix version they play on the radio these days. She had fucking Elvis blowing vocals on her iPod. A choice that not only says a lot about our little friend, but freaked me out just a little bit because I had the same goddamn song on my iPhone.

And yeah I know, Peggy Lee sang it first, but I always liked the Elvis version better. Young, cool ass motherfucker Elvis though, not post drug abuse and extremely bloated Elvis.

You can't beat the oldies.

The music was great and all, but what really got my attention, was that the Swan was dancing to it, and it was some crazy ass sexy dancing if I may say so, including some sort of 'moves for vixens' steps, because that shit was fucking hot. Today's outfit didn't help my twitching dick situation much either.

_Breather Cullen…take a fucking breather. FOCUS!_

She was wearing some sweet fitting boot cut jeans that were just a tad bit too long for her petite body with a deep blue cut off tank top. _I like this color on her, against her skin, it's…OK…we're not here to fuck the competition. Well, not like that anyway. Or at least not today… okay snap out of it!_

She wasn't wearing any shoes and her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, allowing a clear view of the piercings in her ears. Only one on the right, but five on the left, including one high up where the cartilage is. Also says something about our little friend. Piercings in the cartilage hurt like a motherfucker, so her pain threshold is probably high.

_Also hot. _

_And what a fucking slob. Jesus._

She must have been moving in still I figured, with all the shit laying all over the place.

Also because that, my friends, was _not_ a very professional looking outfit all in all.

I made myself comfortable and leaned against the door jamb, crossing my arms, since it was obvious she didn't hear me open the door and still hadn't noticed I was there. _I may as well sit back, relax and enjoy the show that is Bella Swan._ I thought…which I did. A lot. Enjoy it that is.

When she bent down at the knees and wiggled her ass I had to tilt my head to get a better look. The woman should be told shit like that is illegal in some states. Seriously. But not today.

Watching the Swan basically strip dance for me, only without the whole removing her clothes thing, was giving me a serious motherfucker of a hard on. I was debating on how to handle that situation when she did this sexy ass turning, body twisting move and my eyebrows shot up.

I don't know exactly how or why she was doing it, but she was cupping her pussy in a highly inappropriate, Michael Jackson kind of way with one hand. Okay, let me put it this way, if those pants were off of her, and _oh, how I'd like to take those pants off of her_, she would have been masturbating without a doubt.

Her other hand was in her hair…raking through it, and messing it up monumentally. I pictured that messy hair sprawled out all over my bed.

_My bed? _

Her eyes were closed when she was finally facing me. Thank god.

_Holy mother of all that is good in this world please give me a piece of Bella Swan pie._

My mouth dropped. She was biting her bottom lip and I swallowed hard and adjusted my pants because that shit was making me think some _very_…dirty thoughts about The Swan. Including a position or two I'd been wanting to try out in my dark room.

Luckily I closed my mouth in time for her to open her eyes.

And see me smirking at her.

The music was still playing. She stopped her…uh…_dance_, and just stared at me with that deer in the headlights look in her eyes. _Embarassed? Shocked? Turned on? Yeah, definitely blushing._

_Hmmmm. The Swan, speechless_. Not at all like the little seductress from the previous day.

I pushed myself off of the door jamb and stalked over to her slowly as the music continued to play. She let her hand fall from her head finally and sort of tried to cover herself up by crossing and un-crossing then crossing her arms again in front of her. _Classic defensive move. Too bad it's all for naught._

She bit her bottom lip again as I approached her. _Nervous much? _I was close enough to touch her, wanted to touch her, but I wouldn't need to. Not yet anyway. I thought I heard her intake a gasp as I leaned in just a tad. I eyed her chest, it was kinda hard not to, it was heaving pretty fucking heavily by then.

_Houston to Apollo, you're clear for takeoff._

I made eye contact with her and took another step. She gave me space by backing up a tad. I could literally see her eyes dilating as I took another step toward her and had to swallow the smile I felt creeping onto my lips. She tripped over a box that was sitting on the floor, but I caught her, wrapping my arm around her tiny, perfect waist before she had a chance to fall on her ass.

I took in a long, deep breath. _Mmmmmm…smells like…Lavender. _

Her chest pressed up against me and I could feel her very erect nipples through the flimsy ass tank top she was wearing. This did wonders for my dick, which was very…_very_ glad to see her apparently. I just hoped that if she said anything, I could convince her that was my gun rubbing up against her like that.

She caught her breath and let her mouth fall open just a little bit, and it was all I could fucking do to stop myself from putting my lips on hers. And maybe her neck, the little valley between her breasts…

_Re-group Cullen. RE…motherfucking…group. _

_Christ._

Instead of kissing her… which, let's face it, would be a very bad idea considering she was my competition…and a royal pain in the ass, even though I'm pretty fucking sure it would have been a monu-fucking-mental kiss.

_Shit._

I stood her upright, took her hand in mine and smiled. _Soft skin. Feels nice. _She almost smiled back which kind of fucking confused me to be honest with you…Why would she be smiling at me? She hated me.

I shook that line of thinking away and I very slowly, and very deliberately, took the invoice out of my jacket pocket and placed it into the hand I was holding.

An evil grin found its way to my lips finally. I couldn't hold that shit back anymore.

The little area in between her perfectly shaped eyebrows creased and the smile faded as she looked down to see what I'd given her.

She blindly reached over and turned her iPod player off, still staring at the invoice.

"What the hell is this?" she asked, somewhere in between amused, and annoyed.

I very sarcastically sucked in a breath of air. "Tsk tsk tsk Miss Swan, such language for such a dirty little dancer."

The blush returned to her cheeks, which I have to say, I fucking love that color in her cheeks… I wanted to brush it away with my hand...but she quickly regained her composure_._

_Opportunity lost motherfucker._

"You're fucking BILLING me…for your _photos_?"

_Point, Cullen._

"Well, you did _technically_ and quite _probably_ ruin them purposefully," I said.

"_Ten_ thousand, one hundred forty two dollars and fifty three cents?"

She looked up at me and the face that was, just a few short minutes ago, bathed in bliss and happiness, scowled at me as though she would burn a hole through my face if she'd had radiated heat vision.

"That includes the lost revenue from my client for not having any pictures to produce for her divorce case and undue stress caused by the incident," I said very matter of factly. Very Tom Cruise from _A Few Good Men._

That's when things got a little ugly.

"You…are out…of your _fucking_ mind! You..." She was shaking her head, looking for just the right adjective to use. I was pretty sure she could come up with some doozies.

"Now now Miss Swan, don't hurt yourself thinking too hard," I said, wiggling my finger back and forth in front of her face, sarcastically encouraging her not use lose her temper.

She started crumbling the paper up in her hands. "_LUNATIC_!" she screamed "Get...out! Get OUT of my OFFICE! _NOW_!"

She was pushing me out and I was laughing. "Don't worry Swan, I'm sure if you take up some exotic dancing on the side you can come up with that amount of money in no time…you're quite talented."

She pushed me the last step so I was on the other side of the door's threshold and threw the piece of paper at me. "Fuck you Cullen!"

_Ouch. _"Nice! Maybe not today though, I've got a date." _With my hand and a cold shower that is. _She slammed the door in my face as I giggled my way into the hall.

I could still hear her screaming as I got to the stairs. And maybe breaking a few things.

"Of all the _arrogant_, stupid, self centered, pieces of… _SHIT_!" and then, "_What the fuck_!"

I adjusted my dick, telling him to settle down, and left pretty fucking happy overall. I'd accomplished my main mission. I left her feeling about the same as I'd felt yesterday from the look on her face. Considering how I felt yesterday, I would have thought it was gonna be harder.

_Tit for motherfucking tat, Miss Swan. And when I say 'tit' I mean, very voluptuous, very perfect tits. _I thought.

What? She really did have some nice tits.

Now I could officially enjoy my goddamn day. And maybe get laid later. Maybe I could call Carolyn, I thought I still had her number.

My phone buzzed and I took it out of my pocket to see who was calling me.

_Shit._

This couldn't be good. _She never calls this number._

_Answer, don't answer…? Answer…don't answer? _I looked at my watch. _What day is it?_

It went to voice mail before I could decide, so I took that as a sign. "Works for me," I said enthusiastically. I started to put the iPhone away.

Then it buzzed again.

_Fuck me. _I should have known my day wouldn't start out that great and actually _last_.

I tapped the answer button and took in a deep breath before greeting her with my most professional, and very non-psychopathic sounding voice. "What can I do for you today, Dr. Denali."

She was very cool, calm, and collected, but I could hear the under lying annoyance in her voice. "You need to be here, in my office, in less than ten minutes Mr. Cullen. Or I'm writing a not so very nice letter to the judge on your progress. Or shall I say, lack thereof."

_Fuck me harder._

I looked up and down the street. Wondering if there was a clean get away I could make from this conversation.

"Mr. Cullen?"

Maybe a portal that would transport me to another time and place. The Vulcan planet perhaps. I hear the people there are nice.

"Misssster Cullen!"

"Yeah. I'll be there."

I ended the call. There really wasn't much else to say anyway. I crossed the street and got into my Vanquish making a mental note to spike Dr. Denali's half caff mocha cappuccino with some "take the stick out of your ass" pills and headed off for a morning of therapy Edward Cullen style.

Yay.

* * *

**A/N: WOOOT! Let the therapy begin!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Taking the Edge Off

**A/N: Chappy song = non-existent.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3 ~ "Taking the edge off"**

**THE SWAN POV**

"Ass..._HOLE_!"

Yeah, I screamed it, raking my hands through my hair and shutting my eyes tight.

It was really the only word that could describe in full, the phenomenon that is Edward _fucking _Cullen. Okay technically it's two words, but still.

_GOD…I hate that guy. _

I threw the stress ball that sat on my desk across the room and got up to walk around.

Him and his stupid sexy fuck me hair. _So wonderful…that hair._ It was bronze, or dark brown with bronze highlights, or…something, I wanted to run my hands through that hair…and those eyes…holy hell…I've never seen such intense eyes looking down at me…but what a _fucking_ JERK!

_I could just…_

I grunted as I punched the heavy bag hanging from the ceiling in the back of my office in downtown Annapolis; I had it installed for workouts. I planned on working late nights, and didn't want to miss out on practicing my kickboxing.

_Or I could just hang Edward fucking Cullen from the ceiling…by his FEET…and practice on HIM._

Ohhh…that wasn't a good thing to think about, because there were many good _and_ bad things I'd like to practice on Edward Cullen while he was hung upside down from my ceiling…

I shook my head violently and punched the bag again.

The day had started out SO GOOD too. I was celebrating my first _real _payment from the Mayor for the job he'd hired me to do… _thank god for Google ads! Who knew the Mayor of freaking Washington DC uses that shit! _And I was unpacking into my very own office, in a new town, new people…new big…fat…stupid…well, not fat…but _STUPID PEOPLE!_

I mean, who the hell did he think he was anyway? Coming over here and sneaking in on me like that.

Just exactly are the odds I wonder, that the pissy, arrogant _object_ of my fantasy showing up WHILE I'm fantasizing about him!

Not that I planned it, but when Elvis started singing 'fever', I immediately envisioned those penetrating green eyes of his from the day before and how close I was to just shoving my tongue right down his throat when I'd had him pinned against the wall in his office…which led to the fantasizing about him taking me over his desk, and then…

Not that that excuses the way he acted.

GOD! He was _watching_ me_ dance_…oh my fucking god…how _embarrassing_! I threw my hands over my face, hiding from who? I don't know.

And then…being all…_sultry _and stuff…and catching me when I tripped…_he has really strong arms. _The way he looked at me when he held me there…I thought I saw something in the look he gave me…so intense…

But who asked him anyway?

I could literally kick his ass four ways to Sunday for assuming I needed his damn help.

_Stupid sexy private investigator._

And that invoice!

_AAAH!_

I punched the bag again.

So what if I ruined his stupid photos. I was PAID to do that. _Hellooooooo?_ And he should be ashamed of himself for taking them anyway. Shit like that is a disgrace to our profession. He should know better.

I was never going to get unpacked. I'd emptied out a ton of shit from my boxes, but couldn't figure out what should go where and I just couldn't fucking stay focused now. Not after that bullshit.

I needed a drink.

I looked at my watch. 2:00. _Whatever_. What is it people say? It's 5:00 SOMEwhere!

When my cell phone rang I almost had a heart attack. I'd purchased it when I moved to the area but hadn't had any reason to use it yet. This was my first call on it.

Looking at the screen, I closed my eyes, torn.

_Dad._

I debated not even answering it. This was all I needed right now. But if I didn't answer, he'd just keep calling… and calling… and _calling_… so I pushed the answer button.

"Hhhhhiiii dad," I said, a little too sarcastically I admit, but I couldn't help it.

"Bella? Everything okay?"

I rolled my eyes and nudged the heavy bag with my shoulder. "Everything's fine dad…what's up?"

"Well, Jake and I were talking this morning…" _Oh boy, this can't be good._ "…and he wondered if you were coming home for the holidays."

I sighed. I was honestly surprised Jake hadn't showed up over here on my doorstep already.

I'd known Jake since we were each in diapers. We were in a sand pit together at the park playing one day and some big kid tried to take my shovel. Jake pushed the kid down face first into the sand and took my shovel back, handing it to me with that big perfect smile of his.

He's been my best friend ever since.

And inseparable.

_REALLY_…inseparable.

I think my leaving was really hard on him.

I felt a little bad as I thought about him. I knew these conversations were just gonna get more and more uncomfortable with dad. But, he is my dad, and I would suck it up, because I love the old fart. And I'm all he's got.

"I don't think so dad, I um…kinda met someone, and we were gonna do something together here I think, you know, just us."

Oh man I hated lying to him, but in my mind, it was better than saying 'No dad, see, I hate Forks and for all I care I will _never_ set foot on that soil again for the _rest_ of my _life_'. He'd lived there his whole life and loved it, but it wasn't for me. Hence the hiatus a while back. And when I finally made my move out of town permanently, I couldn't find a state far enough away, in my opinion.

"You met someone huh? Already?" I could hear Jake in the background trying to whisper, but he has a really loud voice, even when he's trying to be quiet. _"Tell her to get his driver's license number so we can run his background,"_ he said and I shook my head. He's such a paranoid, over protective, annoying…

"Bella?" Dad, again.

"Yeah, actually…" I twisted my mouth. "Call it love at first sight." I laughed a little, trying to sound like I was in love. I fingered my desk and looked over at the door I'd just thrown Edward Cullen out of not long before.

I was in love alright. In love with coming up with a way to get his ass back for that shit he just pulled in here.

"Well, that's great Bells. What's he like?"

_Fuck._

I hadn't really thought that far ahead into the conversation, so I threw some random description out at him. "Oh, he's tall…a little over six foot, beautiful bronze hair, green eyes to die for…funny…" I smiled thinking about those eyes and the way they looked when he was watching me this afternoon. "He's in the business too."

I heard him suck in a breath.

_Crap, wrong thing to say…Here we go._

It wasn't that my dad had a problem with me being a private detective. He had just really preferred that I go on to be a lawyer instead, plus, he knows some detectives in his line of work, and says they're all assholes.

Well, he was right about that last part.

"Bells," he said in warning, and again, I heard Jake in the background going, _"What? What'd she say?"_

"Don't start, okay dad?"

There was a little bit of awkward silence and then he finally said, "Okay honey. Well, if you're not coming home for the holidays, when are ya coming?"

_How about...never._

"I'm really not sure dad. Maybe after the New Year, I really want to get settled in here first." _That's reasonable, right?_

"_Name…Name!"_ I heard Jake again. Did I mention he's a police officer that works for my dad, who is the chief of police back in Forks Washington?

Yeah.

Feel my pain.

I stared out my window.

"So, what's tall dark and handsome's name honey?"

I debated going any further with the charade, but it's not like Dad would ever meet him anyway, he didn't like flying and the drive was WAY too far for him to handle.

I cleared my throat. "Edward," I said, and as his name left my lips, I felt the heat rising in my skin.

_Weird._

"_Last name,"_ Jake was stressing. I rolled my eyes.

"What's his last name?"

"Nice try dad. _And tell Jake I can HEAR him_," I said that last part a little louder, in case I was on speaker phone.

He laughed and said "Okay Bells, well keep in touch okay? I worry about you."

"_Weeee!"_

"We. Worry about you."

"I know dad. I will. I promise. Tell Jake I'll email him; I have some questions about my computer system. It was acting weird."

"Okay honey, talk to you soon."

I ended the call and breathed in a deep gulp of air before grabbing my jacket and keys and heading out, locking the door behind me. It wasn't like I was gonna get any new business that day, anyway.

I justified the lying to myself as I left. Dad would feel better about me being all the way over here if he didn't think I was all alone. He worries too much.

Jake too. _Jesus_.

He and my dad basically suffocated me for a living. Mom died when I was young and they both over compensated in absolutely all areas of my life ever since. Guys didn't date me much more than once or twice because they scared them off with the whole "we're gonna cut your balls off and feed them to your mother if anything happens to Bella" thing. I was lucky to have ever lost my virginity at all, for crying out loud.

It felt so good to be on my own finally. I mean REALLY on my own. Even the hiatus I took last year wasn't an _actual_ hiatus, it was just one big long babysitting job for Jake. Here I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, with whoever I wanted, make my own mistakes, create my own memories…and there was nothing they could do or say about it.

I was pretty sure it made them crazy.

And that felt…_really good._

I stopped by the bank first when I finally left, because who knows if the Mayor was going to decide to renege on our agreement or not. He is a politician after all, regardless how nice he might have seemed.

After the bank, I randomly picked a pub along the street and walked in. Anyone of them would do. Why not this one?

It was called the Ram's Head Tavern. I liked the name, it seemed appropriate. _I'd like to RAM somebody's head alright._

I immediately breathed easier when I entered. It was a great little pub actually. Nice and dark, big booths, a long bar that stretched to the back.

I walked up to the bar counter and sat down on one of the large swivel stools, swinging myself back and forth out of sheer anxiousness. The bartender immediately greeted me. He had a nice, friendly smile.

_Finally. _Someone who knows how to act civilized around here.

"Hey there little lady. What can I get for ya?" he asked and I liked the way he said it, even though typically, I don't go for that whole _chivalry _crap. "Hi," I said, ceasing my swiveling. "Margarita. Patron Silver if you have it. No salt. On the rocks."

"Well alright! I like a lady who knows what she wants!" he boomed. "And yes, we have Patron Silver…it's kind of a requirement." He laughed to himself. "I also like a lady who knows good tequila."

I smiled. "Thanks…I'm Bella. Bella Swan by the way." I put my hand out to shake his and he took it. "Demetri. Good to meet ya Bella."

I giggled a little. He was pretty cool actually. "You too. Mind if I call you 'D' though? Demetri is so…" I shook my head, looking for the right word. I just don't like long names, the shorter the better, it's just a thing.

"Yeah, I know. Trust me. And you can call me anything you want as long as you keep coming back to my bar," he told me, wiggling his eyebrows and winking at me.

I like this guy. He's real. And _friendly_. Not like certain cocky, self centered, arrogant Private Investigators who think they're _soooooo_ cute!

I was about three margaritas in, and lost in my thoughts when a tall blonde woman sat right next to me. I was a little annoyed to be honest, because there were a shit load of stools to choose from along the bar, why did she have to sit RIGHT next to me?

"Sup D." She nodded to my new friend. _Hmmmm_. Maybe I liked this blonde woman. She uses the same nick name for Demetri as I do, she can't be all bad.

D nodded back to her and winked at me again as he set a bottle of some foreign beer down in front of her.

_Must be a regular. He already knows her drink. I wonder if he'll know my drink next time I come for a visit._

She swigged the beer long and hard. When she set it down, the bottle was empty and she motioned for another. _Woah. _She let out a long sigh like she was letting out all of the worries from her day. I must have been staring because she looked at me from the corner of her eye and arched an eyebrow at me.

I sat up a little and continued drinking my margarita.

"You're new here," she said.

"Perceptive," I retorted.

She laughed. "I'm Rose."

"And I'm drunk," I hiccuped. She laughed again. "What are you doing in a cop bar? You from the Academy?"

I looked at her confused. "A cop bar? Is that what this is?"

"Some of them come here after work for letting off some steam. The cool ones anyway." She smiled and D set another beer down in front of her, taking her empty and wiping the bar counter with his rag. "You want another one yet B?"

I giggled. _"B"…how cute. B and D._

I started to say yes but Rose interrupted me. "Get her one of these. On me."

"Oh, I don't drink beer. Thanks though."

"This isn't beer my friend, it's _French Wine_," she laughed. "You'll like it, trust me. Besides, if you keep drinking those margaritas like they're water, you won't remember who you are tomorrow."

_Wouldn't that be nice?_

I giggled and hiccuped again. "Thanks, _Rose_." I leaned over toward her and elbowed her in the side, winking at her.

"OK, so you're clearly not from the Academy, since you didn't know this was a cop bar…so…"

"Academy, like in the Naval Academy?"

She shook her head and made this kind of grunting noise through her nose. "No, the _police_ academy…maybe you should have water."

By then Demetri had set my beer down. I picked it up, looking at it funny, then took a small sip. It really was good. I like this Rose. I think I'll keep her.

"Wow, good."

"Told ya."

I took a longer swig and set the bottle down, twirling it in a circle as we spoke more. "I'm a private investigator. Just moved here from across the US. I just finished my first job actually. So I'm…_celebrating_." She didn't need to know I was also wallowing in my frustration from the encounter with the stupid yet sexy Edward Cullen.

She smirked and then pressed her lips together in a hard line like she was trying not to laugh.

"What?"

"What what?" she asked.

"What are you trying not to laugh about?"

"Oh…nothing…just…I know someone who's going to get a kick out of you is all."

I wondered for a minute who she might be talking about. And if that someone might be Edw…Mr. Cullen. God help me if he's one of those people everyone fucking knows and loves and I'm the outsider who gets blackballed because I was an ass to him.

_Shit. _Maybe I shouldn't bother unpacking after all. I hear New York is nice…

A bunch of men in police uniforms walked in then. Very loud, very boisterous men. Cute too. There seemed to be a lot of cute men in this town.

They didn't all have Maryland uniforms on though, some were from DC apparently. I always thought cops from different areas had…"issues" with each other, but these guys all seemed to know each other really well and they were laughing.

_Hmmmph. Way to squelch my pre-conceived notion fellas._

They sat down at a big booth not too far from where Rose and I were sitting and she seemed to watch them out of the corner of her eye, or maybe one of them in particular - I don't know who - with extreme interest.

"ROSE!" they all yelled at her as they passed. I laughed as I had a freak moment where I felt like I was on the set of that old show "Cheers" and then I was back. She waved over her shoulder as though she wasn't paying them any attention whatsoever. She was good, I could learn a few things from her.

I looked at her though; she was in regular old clothes. Nothing too extravagant either. Jeans, t-shirt, which fit her perfectly by the way, work boots. Hmmmm, so not a cop. No, maybe undercover? "Rose, are _you_ from the Academy?" I slurred.

I slurred?

_Ruh roe!_

She smiled. "No hon, I fix their cars for them when they play too hard."

_Score! _"Cool! I've never met a female mechanic before! Maybe you could look at my clunker? It's been acting not quite so right ever since I left Forks."

She nodded as she swigged more of her beer. "Absolutely my new found friend. Bring her by anytime; I'll make room for you." She gave me her card and I pocketed that thing. I liked knowing a mechanic. My old truck got tune ups like I got sex. Way too long between check-ups, if you know what I mean.

One of the police dudes stepped up to the bar in between Rose and I then. "Hey Demetri!" Hmmm…the guys must not be into nick names like us girls are. "Five Pales!" he said. Whatever _that_ means.

Rose stared ahead and took another swig of her beer, finishing it this time.

_Drinks heavily when she's nervous and slash or highly stressed… got it._

The big guy in between us said, "Hey Rosey."

_Rosey?_ He likes her. She must like him too because she doesn't look like she lets many people call her that. "Hey," she answered, and motioned for another beer. I finished mine and said "I'll take another too, D."

He was really _really_ good at his job. He gave the big guy all five of his "pales" in one hand, which is a type of beer by the way, and set Rose's and mine down at the same time with his other hand.

"Who's your friend?" the big guy asked.

"Bella, Emmett Cullen, Emmett, this is Bella, she just moved here."

I choked on my beer. Emmett…_Cullen?_

"Are you okay?" he asked with a smile. He didn't look much like Edw…Mr. Cullen. But they had to be related, that's just not a coincidence I was willing to buy into.

I caught my breath finally and said "Yeah, fine…nice to meet you Emmett." He patted me on the back and said "Well it's very nice to meet you too; any friend of Rosey's is an immediate friend of mine."

He had a huge smile, it made his eyes light up like fire. And it was contagious. I smiled back at him. He was much friendlier than his… hmmm, I wondered if they were distant cousins, brothers, maybe…I'd have to look into that.

He went back to his table, but not before saying, "See ya round, Rosey, bye Bella." I waved and Rose just said, "see ya" while not even looking in his direction. I eyed her, and narrowed them, willing her to look at me.

"What." She said it more than asked it, staring straight ahead again.

"How long?" I asked her.

"How long…what, Bella?"

_Still playing coy, ey?_

I glanced over at Emmett's table and he was talking to his buddies, but was keenly aware of Rose the whole time. Excellent cop skills.

"How long have you been in love with Emmett Cullen?"

This time Rose choked on _her_ beer and spilled it down her shirt.

"What the fuck Bella? Jesus!"

"I did go to college for this you know…I'm not an idiot."

She turned her stool toward me and was about to say something when Emmett boomed, "HEY! There's my baby bro! Edward! Back here!"

_Shit. _

I froze, not wanting to turn my body to look, but it seems my Benedict Arnold limbs were plotting against me because there I was, staring at Edward Cullen, who had definitely seen me, because our eyes locked and the corner of his mouth turned up in that stupid sexy crooked smile of his.

Heat and wetness were building up in between my legs suddenly and I shifted in my bar stool.

_Jerk._

I licked my bottom lip and my eyes glazed over, thinking about his mouth and what those lips might taste like.

"Helloooooo…Bella…" Rose was waving her hand in front of my face and I snapped out of it thankfully. But that wasn't such a good thing I guess because now my attention was on the cute little brunette female on his arm.

I immediately scowled, wondering who she was and what she was doing holding on so tightly to my…I mean Mr. Cullen. She said something to him and then kissed his cheek and he let her go as she bounced over to the table where Emmett was and sat down to chat with all of the guys there.

_Hmmmph._

_Hussy._

Cullen, noticing the look I was now giving him, stared back at me, confused, and then went to join the hussy at Emmett's table.

"I um…have to go," I said to Rose. I picked up my things and took some money out to leave for the drinks.

"What? _Why_?"

I shook my head. "I just…I have to get some things done." I was swaying a little, and my eyes were a little blurry. That's not good, right?

"Bella, you're in no shape to drive, much less get anything productive done. Let me take you home."

Demetri walked up to where we were again. "B, you outta here?"

"B?" asked a velvety yummy goodness voice from right behind me. His hot breath was traveling into my ear and I felt goose bumps travel all the way up my spine. It was all I could do not to visibly shiver.

"Two Demetri," he said and I remember thinking _two what? _But Demetri seemed to already know because he set two shot glasses down and filled them with Patron Silver. _My Patron._

Cullen picked them up and smiled at me, waiting for an answer. I think I stared at his smile a little too long - _perfect teeth, figures - _and I wish I could say I was coherent enough to tell him he was a dick and that it was none of his fucking business who called me what.

But, I wasn't, and I didn't.

Instead, being the drunken mess I was by then, I turned around and said, "Yes, _Demetri_, my…_lover_, calls me B, it's his pet name…" I turned and looked at Demetri, who was now starting with his mouth agape at me. "Isn't that right D?"

"Uhhhhh," Was all he gave me. _A lot of help you are D. God, how immature am I?_

Rose laughed through her nose and almost spit out her beer.

"I see," Cullen said, smugly. I wanted to smack that smug look right off of his face. He looked to Demetri and said, all smart allecky, "Well, good luck with that…_D_," and then he turned and walked over to where Emmett and the hussy were sitting.

I rolled my drunken eyes and told Rose I was leaving again. "Bella…"

I cut her off, "Whatever Rose, him and his…" I waved a hand in the air, flailing toward the table.

Rose looked over and seemed to realize why I was so upset all of a sudden.

"Bella."

"I mean, what does he see in her anyway?"

"_Bella._"

"Her and her…_Cute_ little body, and her …_Perfect_ hair…and…"

"BELLA!"

"What?"

She laughed at me. "That's _Alice_ Cullen…Edward and Emmett's _sister_."

_Huh._

"Oh," I said. My anger deflated and I scowled. "Well it doesn't matter anyway, he's just a big, cocky, egocentric, narcissistic, conceited, pompous, _egotistical_…"

"You said that one already."

I hated when I couldn't think of more insulting words. So what did I do? I stomped off, not even saying goodbye or giving Edward Cullen the satisfaction of looking in his direction. Instead I just gave D a very drunken, but what I thought was very sexy, wave goodbye as Rose yelled after me, "Bella watch out!"

I didn't have time to try and register what she'd said much less what I was supposed to look out for. My foot tripped on something, I clocked my head on whatever was in my path and I went down. I waited for the additional searing pain that would come with hitting the floor with my face, but it never came.

I could literally feel the alcohol swirling through my system and everything that was logical said I should be standing still, was spinning suddenly. In a bad way, then the world began to darken around me.

I heard a few voices yelling and I think I saw Rose running toward me as very strong arms began to pick me up and hold me tight. It felt really nice in those arms. Warm, safe…

"Shit! I didn't see her there!"

"Watch her head."

"Way to go Edward. You really have a way with the women."

"Should we call 911?"

Then I left the land of the conscious.

When I woke up, I was in the back of an ambulance. There was a bright light shining in my eyes and a medic was taking my blood pressure.

I blinked a few times. "Welcome back," said the bright light.

"Blood pressure's normal."

"Where am I?"

The bright light disappeared and was replaced with another medic. "You're in an ambulance, outside of the Ram's Head, do you remember anything from before you hit your head ma'am?"

I rattled off some things that stood out to me, hussies and sisters, margaritas and men with stupid sexy grins. The medic laughed at me and told me he thought I'd be fine. "Well at least we know you don't have a concussion." He put a bandage on my head where I'd knocked it and warned me not to drive. I got up and started to leave through the back of the ambulance.

I had to grab the door when I stumbled.

_Ooooh. Still feeling drunk. That's not good._

Rose was still there, talking with Emmett outside, along with who I now knew was Emmett's sister, Alice.

"Oh good god, you're okay, what'd they say?" Rose asked.

I told her what the medic had said and she took my keys out of my hand, advising me that she'd get me home.

"Why didn't I hit the floor?" I asked.

"What?"

"I didn't hit the floor, I was waiting for it. What happened?"

She gave me a weird look and Emmett boomed in, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Edward caught you."

Well that was weird.

"What?"

"Yeah, he totally flew over there and caught you before you hit the floor. I've never seen him move that fast when he's not chasing after some perp." He laughed like he was genuinely amused. Alice remained pretty silent but was smiling at me and in my head I could just imagine her singing '_I know something you don't know_'.

It was an odd feeling, she somehow made me feel comforted with her smile and like I'd known her my whole life.

My hand went to my bandaged head and I realized I might be either having a hangover already, or that my wound was going to be throbbing very soon.

"I think I need to lie down," I said, and Rose started to help me to the car but Emmett picked me up like I was some kinda of a cardboard cutout or something and started taking me to my truck for her. "I got her. Bella, where's your car?"

I pointed and said, "The clunker," and Emmett laughed. A little too hard if you ask me.

"I think we need to limit your alcohol intake next time," he giggled.

_Next time?_

What a nice guy for having such an ass for a brother.

The jostling wasn't doing much for my head or my stomach, and just when I thought I was gonna puke he placed me in the passenger's side of my truck and laughed again. "Nice ride Bella, hope you guys make it, should I follow you, Rosey?"

She arched an eyebrow at him. "Emmett, I'm pretty fucking sure I can handle it if the truck breaks down, but I am gonna need a ride back to my car, so yeah."

He looked pretty excited at that as he closed my door and banged on the roof, giving us the go ahead to leave, and then went back to his sister. They jumped into a big over sized jeep looking vehicle and pulled up behind us as we drove off.

"Where'd he go?"

Rose scowled. "Where did who go?"

"Edward."

She smirked. "He left. We called the ambulance and basically right after that he said he'd had enough fun for one day. Pretty typical Edward."

I didn't live far from the office thank god; I really did want to lie down. But mostly I wanted to go to sleep and stop fucking thinking about Edward Cullen for the day. It was making my head hurt more than it needed to no doubt.

I wondered though, why he'd bother catching me when he despised me so much. That made the second time in one damn day that he'd caught me like that. Why should he care if I kissed the floor with my face or not? What does he have some kind of…'save the damsel in distress' complex or something?

I'm far from in distress thank you very much.

_How arrogant can one man be? Seriously!_

I wished I could just stop the thoughts from swirling. I shook my head in an attempt to distract my traitor brain and looked out the window.

It didn't help much, because then I just started remembering how his arms felt around me. _Strong, soft, protective, warm…_

Like I said.

_Asshole._

* * *

**A/N: The beer mentioned that Rose is drinking, it's a French imported beer, and since she doesn't drink wine herself, she compares the beer to a fine wine because, it's THAT good. I tried it a few weeks ago in an Irish pub I was in with buds, and the bartender suggested it. If you're a beer drinker, try it. It's called Adelscott.**


	5. A Little Psychotherapy Never Hurt Anyone

**A/N: Chappy song =Psycho by Puddle of Mudd**

* * *

**Chapter 4 ~ "A little psychotherapy never hurt anyone"**

**CULLEN POV**

Thirty-three minutes and sixteen seconds. That's how long it took to break the façade of concentration the good doctor, Denali, was putting on.

_Not your best time, Cullen, but, practice makes perfect._

"Blue," I said, not so successfully hiding the smirk on my face.

My jacket was folded neatly over the back of the most uncomfortable ass chair EVER that yours truly was sitting in. I slouched slightly, with one foot propped up on my other knee, hands resting on either side of me, on the arm rests, fingers drumming to a random tune that was playing in my head. I stared directly at her even though she wasn't looking at me. Something about people who won't look me in the eyes when they're talking to me, just bugs the shit out of me.

_I will burn your ass if you don't look up_.

I was literally willing her ass to look at me.

"Excuse me?" Her head was down, reading through some senseless shit, no doubt. Her glasses hung on her nose, and then she peeked up over them at me finally.

_Good girl._

"Buh-luuuuuu-wah," I said again, annoyed and making very distinct motions with my mouth at the sound of each syllable I'd made the word blue into. I really fucking hate repeating myself.

She took her glasses off, laid them down in front of her and folded her hands, one over the other, on top of the glasses.

_Gotcha._

"Mr. Cullen, I asked you how you felt about being put on probation. What does the color blue have to do with that?"

I furrowed my brow at her, looked around the room in slight embarrassment, trying to look like I was honestly confused. "You mean, this isn't word association?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, and pursed her lips, but didn't say anything.

Neither did I.

I'm the king of motherfucking silence.

Finally, she broke like a wild mustang getting trained on the OK Corral ranch out in bum fuck Utah. "Mr. Cullen, all I'm asking of you is to show up here, _on time_, on the _days_ you're supposed to, and open up, being _honest_ with me about some things that have obviously had an effect on your life. Talking this out is the only way you're going to get better."

_Get better?_

This, coming from the woman who sharpens each of her pencils every two and a half minutes and then lines them up on her desk like they're in some kind of god damn military regiment or something, only to start the whole process all over again? And _I _need to get better?

I stopped drumming my fingers.

"And all I'm saying, _Tanya_, is that it's not against the law to forget a session or two."

She didn't like it when I called her Tanya. And why should she? I was her patient for all intensive purposes, but I liked getting under her skin. Even though she refused to show it, I knew I had. It's the color of her skin that gives it away, much like with The Swan.

A smile crept onto my lips as I thought about her dancing in her office earlier. I wondered if I could get her to repeat that dance she was doing while wearing the leather from the other day. _God, that woman could dance. _

"I don't think this is very funny Mr. Cullen. And to say you've forgotten 'a session or two' would be an understatement in my book."

I frowned and forced the smile away. She didn't need to know I wasn't laughing at her.

"Sorry," I said, as politely as I could fucking muster, attempting to seem contemplative. Which, by the way, is very goddamn hard to do when you're talking to someone you don't take very seriously.

Dr. Tanya Denali was my court appointed Psychotherapist. I'd gotten myself into a bit of a situation a while back, during a job. It honestly wouldn't have been such a big fucking deal if it hadn't have been with the State Attorney's daughter. I mean, seriously, what are the odds?

Her boyfriend wasn't exactly happy to see me in the middle of a meeting, so to speak, with his girl.

Actually, _ex-girl_ at the time, but that's not important to the story.

Hey, I'm a man who has needs. And she was definitely meeting those needs if you know what I mean. Quite willingly I might add. And it's not like _I_ pursued _her_. I'm not _that _big of a dick.

Anyway, long story short, he broke into my office, I broke his jaw, she cried, they left together, I wacked off, and the rest is history.

Well, not quite history _yet_. It will be after four more sessions with Tanya and I pay a $2500 fine for the whole, breaking his jaw thing. But I digress.

That incident, piled on top of a few other unfortunate circumstances, won me a ticket to the Annapolis Mental Health Society Institution once a week. Or as I like to call it, the "Let's fuck Edward's mind until he loses all sense of reality even more so than he already has" Institute.

"Why don't you tell me about your brother, Mr. Cullen."

I rolled my eyes, letting out an irritated sigh, shifting in my seat. I moved my foot off of my knee and onto the floor, leaning forward a bit, biting back the desire to tell our doctor here to kiss my motherfucking ass. "Because there's really nothing to fucking tell you, doctor. He's my brother, we fight, it's a sibling thing. No big deal."

She nodded her head. "Do your fights often lead to broken bones?"

_Shit_.

She'd done some homework. I really shouldn't be surprised by that, but she's not the brightest star in the galaxy, if you get my meaning. I kinda thought it would get overlooked since it didn't really have any fucking thing to do with this case. "That was just the one time."

"Really?" She flipped through her papers, scowling. "It says here there were five separate instances within the last year alone where either you, or your brother, were treated for serious injuries."

I swallowed. "_Serious injuries_, not broken bones. There's a difference."

I'm an educated motherfucker, the details do not escape me.

She glanced up from her papers and arched one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows at me. "You didn't see your father for treatment?"

Fuck. _Here we go_, now I've got 'father' issues right? I think that's some sort of staple for shrinks by the way. It's always either the mother or the father's fault. They pretty much have a fifty-fifty chance of being right in their minds.

"He was busy."

"Too busy to see his son for serious injuries?"

I was getting really fucking annoyed with this woman. I took a nice long deep breath and answered her though. Mostly because if I didn't, I'd be in jail calling some really big motherfucker "Nancy" as I sucked his dick for him by the end of the day. "I didn't mean that he _wouldn't_ see me, I just meant that I _chose not_ to see him, because…"

"Yes?"

I fucking hate this bullshit by the way. People are always trying to read into things too fucking much in my humble opinion. And it is one humble motherfucking opinion, on most days.

I'm not saying Carlisle and I don't have our issues, any idiot could see that from a mile away, but it sure as shit wasn't any of this quack's business.

I leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees and holding up my hands to try and explain this shit into very simple terms for our dearly beloved, so called 'expert'.

"Listen. _Doctor_? If you're looking for some… 'daddy did me wrong' story here, you're looking in the wrong god damn place. Carlisle is _great…_ he was a GREAT dad, he is a GREAT surgeon, and he's a GREAT motherfucking upstanding member of society, okay? If I didn't want to go to him for treatment, so the fuck what? There's like, ten doctors in between my apartment and his hospital, I chose one of them, out of _convenience_. End of fucking story."

Goddamn do I babble sometimes.

I looked at my watch. _Close enough. H'asta la vista doctor wack-a-doodle._

I started to leave, picking up my leather jacket from the back of the chair it was folded over and sliding my arms into it.

"Where are you going?" she asked, not moving from her chair.

"I'm leaving. This session is over as far as I'm concerned."

She didn't fight me on it, although I'm sure she could have. Instead she wrote something down on a piece of paper and held it out for me. "I want you to do some homework this week Edward."

I gave the paper she held out a look of disgust and took it hesitantly. "Homework?"

"Yes. Homework. I'd like you to practice some phrases for me."

I looked down to see what she'd written. "Please and Thank You? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Tanya tried to stifle a smile. "I just want you to experience a friendly exchange with someone. Anyone. Your brother perhaps?"

_She's sincerely lost her fucking mind ladies and gentlemen. Approach with caution. _

I tried to hand the paper back to her. "I don't think so Tan… but thanks for trying."

"Mr. Cullen, would you like me to fail your final report for the judge?"

I stared at her and grimaced. I wished I'd had that mind melding ability like the Jedi Knights in Star Wars or some shit like that. I could just imagine it. _You think Mr. Cullen is a genius… you don't see any need for further sessions… you plan to tell the judge Mr. Cullen is the best fuck on the planet and you're going to have him recommended for the Nobel Peace Prize._

I laughed.

"Mr. Cullen…"

_Talk about balls in a vice grip._

I took the paper back. "Yeah, okay. I'll try it." _What she doesn't know, won't hurt her._

I left and felt like my day was fucking shot. I needed to turn that shit around, so I called Alice. She and I always had a way of cheering each other up. She agreed to meet me for lunch and then said she was taking me shopping.

_Yay me._

…

"Edward you really shouldn't be seen out in public like that."

"I know Alice, I should be put in jail and out of my own misery. Tell me something I don't know." I pushed her hand away as she tried to fix my jacket collar for the tenth time that afternoon. I'm not a fucking doll for Christ's sake.

Alice loves me, but she really and truly hates my wardrobe. I mentioned that right? I mean, if I had a fucking nickel… no I take that back, if I had a _penny_ for every time she made me change clothes before going out while we were growing up… well, I wouldn't need a job where I put my fucking life in danger every god damn day that's for fucking sure.

"I've got another show coming up, you're attending, right?" She smiled, bouncing along beside me while we treaded through the mall.

"Alice, when have I ever actually missed a fucking show?" Notice my intelligent wording there, this doesn't mean I didn't show up with ten minutes left to her shows before, but I couldn't help it most of the time, duty does fucking call, you know?

"I want to find something nice for you to wear… unless you plan to pull something out of your closet at home." She smirked at me. She knows I hate that fucking closet with her clothes in it. "I won't have my brother looking like a…"

"Private eye?" I asked, sarcastically. I mean seriously, what the fuck does she expect me to look like?

"Bum." She ended, teasingly. "Seriously Edward, turtlenecks? They are so last year's fashion mistake."

I pulled at my neck a little and scoffed at her. "Don't dis the turtlenecks Alice, they may be last year's fashion mistakes, but their MY fashion mistakes."

"Very well put Edward, you just made my point _for_ me, now let's go." She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the first of many clothing stores for the day.

Shopping with her isn't so much torture as it is amusing to me. I mean seriously, the things that girl wants to put me in.

_Armani? On Edward Cullen? Seriously?_

We were passing a Victoria's Secret store when I eyed a little get up I could very vividly picture The Swan wearing while dancing to Elvis. Fuck me if I didn't feel my dick twitch and it made me a little uncomfortable with my fucking sister standing right next to me to be honest with you.

"Maybe you could bring a date to this one Edward."

_What?_

"Huh?"

"A date, you know, whoever you're ogling women's underwear over?"

Alice is a little too perceptive for her own good sometimes. I laughed through my nose. "I'm not _OGLING_." I said, annoyed as hell. Shaking my head at her, I picked up my pace and passed the store, entering into another one.

I'd actually gotten my mind off of a lot of things after a few hours with her, including a certain royal fucking pain in my ass who shall not be named. I decided while we were in town, I wanted to stop by and see if Emmett had found anything out on that Red Ferrari from yesterday. Alice squealed because I never actually, by choice, went to see Emmett. Okay, RARELY, same thing.

I called his cell and asked where he was. _The Ram's Head… of course._ He wasn't far from where we were, so we headed over.

"I think your therapy is really having an effect on you Edward." She smiled.

"Don't read anything into this Alice, it's just more convenient to stop by while he's surrounded by booze and people, than to go see him later in a one-on-one type situation. People get hurt when that happens." And when I say 'people', I mean Emmett… And me… But only every once in a while.

She scowled and pursed her lips. It stressed Alice to have her two favorite… well, two _only_ brothers at odds with each other the way Emmett and I were, but I have my beliefs, and he has his, and never the two shall meet or inter-fucking-twine apparently.

…..

We walked into the Ram's Head and I immediately saw her.

_Fuckin A, what is she like a homing device to my cock? _

Bella Swan. That woman was going to seriously cause a migraine to erupt in my head. Not to mention it also made my dick twitch, _again_, which kinda fucking pissed me off. _Stupid dick. That's the enemy!_

"Hey! There's my baby bro! Edward! Back here!" I scowled. Emmett was waving and acting all glad to see me for his buddies, but I fucking knew that shit was just a front and he was really just driving a nail into my chest and saying "you fucking loser ass-wipe, come see how successful and completely full of myself I am and bow down to my greatness."

_Dick._

I tried to ignore Bella… The Swan, but the look she was giving me when Alice and I stepped through the door was a little… hypnotizing? I couldn't help but smile at her, she was so damn cute when she was trying to be all bad ass.

_Snap the fuck out of it asshole. Jesus!_

Alice managed to giggle something in my ear about Victoria's Secret, which I found completely incoherent, and then she kissed me on the cheek before bounding over to hug Emmett and chat with the rest of the guys.

I finally made it back to the table after feeling thoroughly confused by The Swan's look of irritation at me. I mean, what the fuck did I do? I just _got here_. I gave Emmett a nod. "You get anything on those plates from yesterday Em?" Straight and to the point. That's me. Why waste time on semantics?

"Edward, for Christ's sake man, sit, have a fucking beer dude."

"Yeah Ed… have a seat!" One of the guys, Tyler Crowley, said. He was in the Academy with us and graduated the same year as Emmett. Not completely incompetent, but I never did get how he managed to score a slot on the DC police force, much less as Emmett's partner.

I flashed back briefly to a time when Em and I had planned out our whole lives around graduating from the Academy and then eventually getting assigned as partners on the force, making detectives together, and becoming a motherfucking force to reckon with.

Then I was back to reality.

"Come on Edward, we won't bite this time, promise. Unless we're talking about rounding up the hot tottie over there by Rose, that is." And there sat Eric Yorkie, another graduate who'd decided to go with the Maryland State Troopers instead of DCPD. And who thinks he's really fucking funny. Always has.

"Dude." Tyler said laughing, he held up a fist and Eric bumped it.

I didn't need to turn around to know they were fucking talking about B… The Swan. Part of me wanted to fist bump them, and part of me wanted to fist bump their fucking heads for saying that shit.

I sighed. To think I'd be hanging out with these dicks had I stayed in that profession.

"Go get your sister something too while you're at it." Emmett added, like just because he said to do something, I was magically gonna fucking do it.

_Ass._

Alice clearly wanted to stay and catch up with everyone, so I went over to the bar to order a couple of shots for us. The more time away from those pricks, the better. The only problem was that I was basically jumping out of the frying pan and into the motherfucking fire by walking over to that bar counter.

"B, you outta here?" Demitri was asking The Swan. B? Seriously? She's been here what, a day and they've got nick names already?

"B?" I asked, leaning in behind her, putting a hand against the counter and placing my mouth up next to her ear. The one with multiple earrings in it. I was so close to licking it. And maybe taking that top stud into my mouth. I had to reign my traitor tongue back in and tie that motherfucker down with extra strength boat ties to keep it a safe distance from the 'fuck me' ears.

_Shit. She smells good too. Mother of fuck._

She stiffened noticeably and I could have sworn I saw her swallow hard. The way her throat moved when she did it, I just wanted to wrap my hands around it gently and tilt her head back a little bit, lean in, and kiss the smart ass right out of her.

"Two Demitri." I motioned to him, he knew what I meant, I'd been here enough back in the day and even over the years for him to remember my drink of choice.

He sat the shot glasses down and poured the Patron Silver and I felt my mouth watering. I might need to ask him for the bottle to take to the booth if I couldn't get out of here quick enough.

Bella finally turned around and eyed me ferociously. Well, about as ferocious as a kitten anyway. I couldn't help but grin at her. "Yes, _Demitri_, my… _lover_, calls me B, it's his pet name…"

Scratch that. Make that a _drunk_ kitten.

I stifled a laugh but couldn't hide the grin that was growing into a full blown wide ass smile now.

She stared at my teeth for a long god damn time and I suddenly wondered if I had something in them, but then she turned and looked at Demitri, who was now staring with his mouth open. _Clearly NOT lovers. _Part of me breathed out with relief. _Where the fuck did that come from?_

"Isn't that right D?" She continued.

"Uhhhhh," he said. If you count grunts as actual conversation that is. _Good answer… D._

Rose, who'd been sitting next to Bella, and in the back of my mind had me wondering how they knew each other, laughed through her nose at Demitri's answer.

"I see." I said. She clearly was not on her A game when drinking, because the sober Bella Swan would have ripped me up one side and down the other if I'd dared to make a sarcastic comment like that.

I could have retorted back at her, but that would just put me in a mood. And it might also very likely harden my dick to such astrological proportions, as to cause me to throw her over the bar counter and fuck her brains out right there, in front of all those ass fucks so they'd know she was m… _NOT theirs._

So instead, I simply said to Demitri as I picked up my drinks, "Well, good luck with that… _Deee_." And then walked back over to where Emmett's table was, with the two shots of Patron for Alice and myself.

_Smooth like James Dean in Rebel without a cause, baby._

I set a shot down for Alice who squinted and squinched her nose before drinking it. I laughed at her before throwing mine back and letting it burn.

"Okay, I'm drinking," I said to Em as I slammed the shot glass down onto the table, "Now what'd you get on the Ferrari?"

His jaw clenched before answering me. "I don't know if we should talk about it here Edward." He eyed a couple of the guys, who weren't paying any attention, and I scowled at him. It was hard to tell if he was being serious or not with me. He's so motherfucking smug sometimes.

"_Please…_ give me a fucking break here, Em… did you find anything or not?"

"Actually, no." He answered, frowning. "The plates didn't even seem to exist in the system. Kinda weird." He took a swig of his beer.

He was so motherfucking flippant about that shit. Did he not give a fuck that his brother was almost KILLED by that gunner? Typical motherfucking reaction though.

"I see your attitude about people you know getting murdered hasn't changed much. But _thanks_ for nothing." See? I fit please _and_ thanks into the same conversation. Tanya would be proud.

Unfortunately, that comment happened to royally piss him off. It's not like I didn't know it would, but it's still a little daunting when Emmett gets really angry. He started to get up and I was readying myself for a world of hurt when we heard Rose yell "Bella! Watch out!" and both shot our heads in the direction where they were sitting.

I turned just in time to see one of Demitri's bar keep lackeys swinging around the corner with a huge motherfucking box of shit in his hands that he was carrying on his shoulder. He clearly couldn't see her there and smacked it right into Bella's face… and she was going down.

I didn't even think about it, I just ran to her as fast as I could and caught her before her head could crack itself wide open on the hard floor of the pub.

"Shit! I didn't see her there!" the lackey said, throwing the box down and coming to see if she was alright.

"Watch her head," I told him, smacking his hand away. _Fucking idiot._

"Way to go Edward. You really have a way with the women," Rose snorted at me. She can be such a fucking bitch sometimes. It's not like it was my fucking fault she doesn't watch where she's going. "Screw you Rose, I'm not the one that clocked her with a box."

"Should we call 911?" Emmett asked.

"She's out," I said, feeling her head for any signs of serious damage. "Probably a good idea."

_Damn, fucking gorgeous._

I stood upright and carried her outside for some fresh air while Alice followed and watched me with curiosity. I sat down on the curb with Bella in my arms, brushing the stray hairs that had fallen out of her pony tail from her face, waiting for the ambulance to come, and finally asked, annoyed as hell with Alice, "_What?_"

She just smiled and said in her infamous _don't try to hide anything from me _way, "Nothing."

That shit fucking pisses me off. What does she want me to do, let Bella get a concussion? _Although_… on second thought, maybe it would have knocked some god damn sense into her.

She did look pretty innocent in her sleep. With her eyes and mouth shut like that, she didn't look like such an evil, conspiring, photo ruining _bitch_. Good thing I knew better.

I must have been staring too long or some shit like that, when I heard Alice start in on me. "Edward…" She said. She seemed like she was highly amused by something. I broke my gaze away from The Swan and looked at her, I knew that look in her eye.

I was reaching deep into the profoundness of excuses a la Cullen, when we heard sirens coming down the street.

_Thank you, Maryland Emergency Response Teams!_ Distraction from the complicated conversation achieved. No grilling from Alice for Edward… _for now_. Now I just needed a physical escape route.

The medics rushed out and took control over Bella and I told Alice I was leaving. "Can you get a ride home from Em?" I asked her, and then added. "I've got some shit to take care of." I wasn't very fucking good at lying to Alice, but with all the confusion going on, maybe I could side step her.

She twisted her mouth at me and scowled really hard, but she agreed and Emmett said it wouldn't be a problem. "Sorry about the no-go on those plates Edward, but don't insinuate that shit about me not giving a fuck again. Got it?"

We just stared at each other for a minute. I could feel my jaw tighten, and my blood pumped faster.

When we were younger, this is how Emmett and I would solve all our problems. Staring contests. We'd stare for hours sometimes, and by the end of the staring, one of us would fart or our stomach would growl and we'd crack each other up, bending over in hysterics. We would always forget what the fuck we were even pissed at in the first place by the time we were done laughing. But that was a long time ago, and unfortunately, all the staring, farting or stomach growling in the world wasn't gonna make either of us forget the shit that's come between us this time.

"Got it," I finally said.

I kissed Alice on the cheek and told her I'd had enough fun for one day and left.

In the quiet comfort of the Vanquish, I cranked the music and let it drown out any thoughts I might be having that were even remotely friendly toward The Swan. The look on her face when Alice and I walked into the Ram's Head, the heat radiating from her sexy ass body when I walked up behind her at the bar, how it felt holding her in my arms when she fell, the distinct pull I felt in my arms to brush the hair out of her face while I was holding her…

_You are so fucked, Cullen._

I needed a distraction, and you know that saying "be careful what you wish for"? Well they don't say that shit for tickles and grins.

About half way home I noticed I was being followed. By some pretty shitty tails I might add. I spotted them a motherfucking mile away.

I shook my head. _Rookies._

There's lots of ex-clients and, or ex-victims of said clients that could want me followed. I'd certainly dealt with some shady ass motherfuckers along the way. That's why it didn't really surprise me much that I was getting shot at yesterday_. All part of the job. _

I started running through some of the cases I'd taken in recent months to try and think of who might be pissed off at me still.

It was a long ass list, I'm not gonna lie.

_OK, scrap that idea, let's just reel em' in and find out who they are and ask nicely._

I laughed. _Nicely_. That's funny.

I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex and waited for the car to pass me, then stepped out like it was any other motherfucking day. Which, in all honesty, it actually was.

When I got to the steps that led up to my apartment I stopped and waited behind them in the shadows. I lay my bag down quietly while slipping my Colt out of it, readying myself.

Footsteps fell quietly along the sidewalk leading up to where I awaited my prey. They were hurried steps, but soft. _A woman maybe. Or a midget. Or a really feminine dude._

As they rounded the corner to make their way up to where I lived I grabbed an arm and pulled them into me, so their back was against my chest, and my arm was around their scrawny fucking neck. Whoever the fuck it was, their perfume was a little god damn overwhelming. I squeezed a little in warning. And because I was at the end of my fucking rope for one day.

"Why are you following me?" I asked into their ear.

They coughed a little for show, but seriously, I wasn't squeezing THAT hard for Christ's sake.

"Needed… to talk… to you…" they choked.

I let go and spun them around so I could get a good look at the fucker before punching their lights out. It was definitely a woman though, so that idea was out. Another royal pain in the ass at that. She put her hand up to her throat, rubbing it. "Jesus Edward… paranoid much?"

I stuffed the gun into the back of my pants and rolled my eyes. _I'm not THAT bad_. "You're the one being all… _covert_ and shit… what's the deal Lauren? You couldn't just call?"

"I tried to catch you at the Ram's Head when I saw you there but then the ambulance came and … what happened anyway?"

Yeah, like I'm gonna re-hash all of The Swan shit_. I don't think so._

"Nice try Lauren, what do you want?"

She looked highly fucking nervous for her. She's normally got her shit together. "I…" she looked around us. "Look, Edward, I think I've got a lead on something…" she got spooked, and jumped, looking back at the street. "I can't talk tonight, can you meet me tomorrow? Say, ten o'clock at the Ram's Head?"

My mouth was open a little and the crease between my eyebrows hurt I was creasing it so hard. "What's with all the cryptic shit Lauren?"

She swallowed. "Just meet me tomorrow Edward. Please? Ten O'clock." She started walking away back around the side of the apartment building in a really big fucking hurry.

"What the fuck ever, _agent ninety-nine_. Don't do that shit again." I said as she disappeared into the shadows.

_Weird._

I walked up the stairs where Pup was waiting for me, his nose was at the bottom of the door and he was scratching at it, trying to get into the apartment. He was growling, which annoyed the shit out of me. I mean what am I? His fucking owner? I sat down on the top step next to him, sat my bag down and raked my god damn hands through my god damn hair for hopefully the last god damn time today.

"Don't ever fucking get involved with women, Pup. Especially crazy, cocky, stubborn, having computer systems that can't be hacked into by perfectly law abiding citizens women. They're nothin' but trouble."

He made a funny sound at me.

"No I'm not fucking kidding. Do I _look_ like I'm motherfucking kidding?"

He lay down next to me and put his head on my lap and growled some more through his nose.

"I know," I said, "Me too." and I scratched his neck for him as he huffed out loudly through his nose.

"Hungry?" I asked him. He perked up at that, then he got up and started twirling around in a circle, whining.

I stood up to let myself into the apartment and get him some food and water. That was when I noticed the broken shards of glass outside the doorway. Looking up, I saw that the tape on the door jamb was removed too.

_HA! Motherfucker. I knew that shit would come in handy some day._

I suddenly realized that Pup wasn't hungry, he was trying to fucking warn my sorry ass.

_Good detective skills, idiot._

I pulled my Colt hand gun out of the back of my jeans and quietly opened the door, listening for any footsteps or just general all around fucking movement.

Nothing.

"You stay here." I whispered to Pup, then I walked into the apartment, working my way through and checking all of the closets and behind doorways as I did. There wasn't a lot to check thank god, because I don't think my heart could have taken the fucking anticipation of a three-thousand square foot house or some shit like that.

"You've _really_ gotta stop being so paranoid Cullen." I breathed, raking my hands through my hair and laughing at myself, letting logical explanations start to flow through my head as to why the glass would be broken and the tape coming off of the door.

_Okay, the tape could have just dried out for Christ's sake… And Pup could have stepped on the glass. Shit, maybe he's bleeding._

In the bedroom, I threw the fucking gun onto the bed and turned the light on. I was about to close the closet door when I noticed my jeans, hanging on their hangars, were all pushed up to one side and scrunched against the wall.

In addition to the fact that the hangers were all touching each other, which annoyed the motherfucking hell out of me, I knew someone had been rifling through my shit.

I narrowed my eyes.

_Sonofabitch._

The front door slammed shut as I made my realization and I grabbed my Colt again, heading out after the perp.

He was half way to the street already when I got to the front door. I jumped over Pup as well as the railing and down onto the parking lot concrete without even fucking thinking about it. I ran full out after that motherfucker but he was god damn fast.

By the time I got to the street he was already in his car and speeding down the road.

The red Ferrari again.

_Mother. Of. Fuck!_

I pulled my cell phone out and dialed Jasper while making my way back to the apartment.

"Yo."

"Jazz, it's Cullen."

"Dude. _Seriously_."

I shook my head. "Did you get anything on those plates I gave you yesterday?"

"Not yet, all I know so far is that they aren't Maryland. They must have contacts somewhere for getting decoys made. I'll find somethin'. Cross check the numbers against other states. Why, what's up?"

_Not Maryland plates, okay, that explains why Emmett didn't find anything. Maybe he's not completely useless._

"Same car, probably the same perp, broke in to the apartment."

"Dude. Not cool."

_No fucking shit Sherlock._

"As soon as you get something, fax it." I was annoyed. Again. And about to hang up when he said "Got it. Oh, and hey… that Bella Swan chick?"

That got my attention. "Yeah. What'd you get?" He wouldn't have brought it up if he hadn't gotten anything. I was back inside now; Pup was giving me a look as I passed him at the door.

I shook my head at him.

Inside I grabbed a pen off of the counter, paper from the fax machine and began to write furiously, trying to keep up with Jasper.

"No priors, attended Washington State University, graduated early, Majored in psychology…" _Great, another mind fucker_. "…minored in law. Magna cum Laude."

"_HA!" Finally! _Something I could use!

"Dude" Jasper said. "You okay?"

Okay, my enthusiasm over being smarter than The Swan was a little out of line.

"Yeah, sorry, fine, go on."

He sighed. "Ohhhh…kay… Started interning with the police department in Forks Washington about two years ago... Father is chief…" _Figures. "_Mother is dead." _Okay, I'm a dick again. "_No other siblings." _Classic. _"No permanent job there other than the internship. Disappeared off the charts for a while last year, moved to Maryland two weeks ago…"

Hmmm, not a whole fucking lot, but it was something to start with anyway. "I owe you a beer my friend. Meet me tomorrow, Ram's Head. Five o'clock." Looks liked I'd be spending a lot of time at the Ram's Head tomorrow.

"Done, see ya there."

After hanging up with Jasper I fed Pup and gave him something extra for looking out for me. I locked up good and tight, and took a better look around the apartment.

Nothing was taken, I'd fucking know, and the shithead is lucky he didn't touch my fucking guitar or I'd hunt his ass down tonight and rip him a new one. A nice roomy one, I'm talkin' three car garage size with extra room for a workshop.

_They must have been looking for something, but what? _

I checked through my computers and it didn't look like any files had been fucked with. Jasper had that shit locked up tight. Motherfucking hacker proof. I felt pretty confident no one aside from the President of the United fucking States of America could get into that.

Kinda like The Swan's shit.

My dick ached all of a sudden and I adjusted his ass. _Down boy._

Part of me didn't want to take any chances by leaving the apartment for any amount of time tonight, but in all honesty, I didn't think there was a snowballs chance in hell that Ferrari hit-man thief asshat would return to the scene of the crime anytime soon.

Plus hard ons speak louder than logic sometimes. And just letting the thought of Bella Swan sneak back into my head was making Eddie Munster grow to colossal scale. So I headed down to the local hangout where I knew I'd find my release.

It was crowded tonight, the juke box was blaring and she stood out from all the other women in the bar. Her laugh was the loudest, and her perfume was the strongest.

Carolyn and I had a history. We met after I'd left home, post leaving the wonderful world of law enforcement, at this very establishment. She's a nice girl, funny, doesn't talk too much and is about as horny as any guy I've ever met. She didn't want anyone tying her down any more than I did, and she was hellfire in the sack. A complete package combination that equaled the perfect every-once-in-a-while night stand.

I also knew her well enough to know she was on birth control and was clean, and I wouldn't need to wear a fucking condom. _Double bonus._

I walked up behind her as she giggled at another lame joke her friend was telling the group she was with and slinked my hands around her waist, pulling myself into her and whispered into her ear. "Hey sexy."

She whipped her head around and smiled when she realized it was me. "Hey Edward, is that your double barrel gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

"Why don't you reach back there and find out."

She did, and I hissed. "Definitely NOT your gun." She grinned again. Carolyn has very nice hands. They are especially nice when they're wrapped around my dick. You can imagine my irritation when I had to feel them caressing me through thick ass jeans.

"Wanna get outta her for a little while?" I asked, kissing her neck.

She bit her lip. "I can't tonight Edward, I'm here with friends that are only in town for tonight, I can't leave."

"That's okay, I know a nice…" I moved her hair "Dark…" I kissed the back of her neck now. "hallway… right here, in this _very_ building."

She knew it too, we'd visited said hallway on several occasions over the years.

"I'm in." She said, arching one of her eyebrows. I took her hand, leading her as we snaked through the crowd to where the back exit was. I stopped at the far end of the hall we headed down, where the exit door was. It was darkest there, and the shadows would hide us from anyone making their way to the bathrooms located near the front of the hallway.

Spinning on her I threw her up against the wall and pinned her there by her shoulders, kissing her hard and pushing my dick into her stomach, and any thoughts of The Swan out of my clearly screwed up head.

_Psyche._

With my eyes closed I pictured her dancing in that fucking outfit earlier in the day. Her ass wiggling and her hands on herself in ways I wanted to….

I kissed Carolyn hard and she pulled away. "Ow!" She barked "you fucking bit me Edward, settle down." She wasn't that pissed though, she did laugh a little as she wrapped her hands around my neck and fisted my hair.

I kissed her softer, sucking the blood off of the inside of her lip. "Shut up Carolyn." I murmured. I slid my hands down her shoulders and around her waist, sliding my tongue into her mouth, caressing her's to make up for the biting. See what The fucking Swan does to me?

"Mmmmm" she moaned, and her hands found the button of my jeans, undoing it, then sliding the zipper down easily. She grazed my stomach with her fingers and I sucked in a breath at the way it tickled.

"I love your tickle spot, Edward." She whispered, giggling.

She let a hand dip into my boxers where she found my dick, wrapping her warm hand around it and pulling it out and he was really fucking glad to see her. "God Edward, it's been too long, I forgot how big you are." She whispered, stroking me and then delving deeper into my pants to massage my balls.

"Fuck." I whispered into her mouth. Dirty talk, gets me every time.

"As you wish." She said back, smiling. Luck was on my side tonight, because Carolyn was wearing a short skirt I could just hike up around her waist after ridding her of the fucking underwear she had on.

"God damn Carolyn, were you expecting me tonight? You have my favorite fucking color undies on." They were the black lace boy short type, barely covered shit. I don't know what it was about black and lace, but fuck, it made my dick hard just thinking about it. I pictured The Swan in a pair of black lace thongs under the leather she'd worn the other day until Carolyn's words snapped me out of my fantasy.

"I'm like a god damn Boy Scout Edward, I always come prepared." She smirked as I slid my hand in between her legs and slowly made my way up to her folds, grazing her thighs, I could feel her trembling. She was so god damn wet I had to rest my forehead against hers and just feel her for a minute.

"Mmmmmm, Edward, your fingers always do worlds of wonder to my body." She groaned. I thrusted two fingers into her for a minute, curling them around, causing little whimpers of pleasure to make their way out of her mouth. Then I pulled them out and circled her clit softly, licking my lips and I really fucking wished she could have left for a little while so I could do her justice with a little tongue action on that bad boy.

I finally decided I couldn't wait anymore. "Hold on." I said to her.

I grabbed her by her hips and picked her up so she could wrap her legs around me while she took my dick and lined it up with her pussy. Then I cupped her beautiful ass cheeks with my hands to get better leverage for the fucking we were about to embark on.

I closed my eyes again as I slid into her. "Shhhhhit you feel good."

"Mmmmhmmmmm… Ditto Edward." She answered, kissing me and rolling her hips as I bucked into her over and over.

Pictures of the Swan floated through my head every so often as my dick drove into Carolyn over and over. I felt myself wondering against my will what she would feel like underneath me, with her crazy, beautiful hair spread out and her chocolate brown eyes looking straight into mine… her leg hitched over my shoulder… maybe fucking her against this very wall… her on top of me… me behind her…

I rammed into Carolyn harder with every thought and she was breathing heavier and heavier as I drove deeper into her with each thrust. My lips were on her neck, her mouth, her ears, as she fisted my hair in her hands, just holding on for dear life.

I was holding her ass in my hand, but managed to find the little area between her pussy and her ass with my fingers and rubbed it with the slick wetness that was seeping out of her as I moved.

"Fuck… Edward… oh god… I'm gonna… Mmmmmmmph!" She buried her head into my shoulder as she came and I wasn't far behind. Hearing a woman cum just does something to the male psyche that leaves us completely and utterly fucking helpless against the sound.

I'm serious too, if you women out there ever want to disable your male attacker, make cumming sounds… they'll be under your complete control in no time crying for their mommy and begging you for mercy.

"Shit Bella!" I screamed, cumming hard into Carolyn. My face froze as my juices flowed out, and I squinted my eyes.

_Fuck._

Carolyn pushed me back away from her and I let her go. She slid down the wall and pulled her underwear back up over her hips.

God, how could I fucking look her in the eyes after that shit?

"Edward."

I had my head down, pulling my jeans up and buttoning them, not wanting to make eye contact. I was trying to think of something to say that would make me look not quite so dickish for saying another woman's name like that.

"_Edward_." She said it a little more sternly this time.

My eyebrows creased and I still couldn't look at her. "I'm sorry Carolyn, that was…"

"Pretty fucked up…" She said. "but listen…" She pulled my chin up so I was looking at her now. "It's not like I haven't tried to fuck a guy or two out of my system once or twice in my lifetime… it's okay."

She's a motherfucking saint, that woman.

I smiled at her and she pulled me into a soft kiss on the lips. "Whoever this Bella is… she's an idiot if she's not scooping you up like a big bowl of ice cream Edward. Me being the cherry on top of course." She winked.

I laughed. "You're good people, Carolyn."

"I know." She said flippantly, straightening herself. "I gotta get back, you gonna be okay?"

I nodded "Oh, yeah. Absolutely."

She bounced off and I made my way out the back door, wishing I knew what the fuck I was doing screaming Bella's name like that. I mean, I don't even LIKE the woman.

At all.

Seriously.

I headed home and all points of contact outside the front door were still intact. I have to admit, I breathed a little easier, even though something still felt "off" in the apartment. Suddenly I found myself wondering…

_Nah… Cullen. Why after all this time would anyone care about that case?_

Pup was no where around but his bowls were empty so I took those in and cleaned them in the sink after locking the door up tight. Then I headed over to my file cabinet and pulled out the manila folder that had the name "Jessica Stanley" written neatly on its groove.

I swallowed hard. I hadn't opened this file in a long god damn time. It seemed like with every year that went by, I looked at it less and less. And I felt like a dick for that. She deserved better.

Once I opened the file up I saw that the papers were out of order and ruffled.

"Bingo." _Somebody was in a hurry._

Nothing was missing from the file; I knew that much for fucking sure. Everything that was written, scribbled or noted was etched in my brain like the Ten Commandments were etched in stone.

I paced the floor, raking my hand through my hair. I figured there were two possibilities here, either the perp was looking for something specific, and didn't find it, or they photo'd the entire file and were planning to sweep through it later.

_I'd photo the file._

This case had been cold on the police records for years. So I knew it wasn't them looking for any information. Fuck, you couldn't _pay_ them to investigate this shit.

The only other option is that whoever killed Jess was here. Or someone the killer hired.

_But still, why now? _

_Shit._

I was too motherfucking tired to get drunk, and too god damn riled up to think straight. So I changed into some pajama bottoms, turned the light off, sprawled out onto my bed face first, and closed my eyes.

I really just wanted to go to sleep and _not think_ about shit for a good six hours.

So when the phone rang _five _hours later, needless to say, I was pretty fucking pissed off. I rubbed the sandy grit out of the corners of my eyes and stretched, reaching blindly for the receiver that sat on the end table next to my bed.

"What." I answered through gritted teeth.

"Mr. Cullen! Lieutenant Muldoon here." He said all bright eyed and bushy tailed and shit.

_Asshat._

Lieutenant Muldoon is the big dick on campus with the DC Police Department. And when I say "big", I mean, tiny-but-over-compensates-by-demeaning-his-employees-and-everyone-in-the-general-vicinity. He's Emmett's first in command, and doesn't like me. At all. Not since that time when I was still in the academy and took his precious daughter's virginity away from her anyway.

Hey, don't look at me like that. Someone was bound to do it, she may as well experience it with someone of extreme talents. Right?

I looked at the clock that read 5:15am and wondered what the hell could possibly have crawled up into the Lieutenant's tight ass and possessed him to call me at this ungodly fucking hour of the day.

I cleared my throat, blinking my eyes, trying to gain some coherency. "Lieutenant. What can I do for you?"

"Mr. Cullen we have a case I could really use your help on, could you make it down to the precinct this morning as soon as possible."

He said it more like a statement then a question. And a lot like R. Lee Ermey that played the 'fucked up in the head' Gny. Sergeant Hartman in _Full Metal Jacket_. If you knew how much I'd wanted to crawl through the movie screen and bitch slap that motherfucker when I saw that movie, you'd know how annoyed I was right now.

I rolled over onto my back and covered the mouth piece of the phone as I let out a long breath before answering him. "Sure thing. Be there in an hour." DCPD cases pay big since they log me as a consultant. Maybe this will make up for the fuckery that I will only refer to as "The Swan Incident" the other day.

The only catch is that he only pulls me onto cases that REALLY need to get solved, and that his people can't seem to find the fucking time to handle. And no, that doesn't include my overbearing big brother, being that he hasn't even reached detective status yet, he wouldn't even see the filing cabinet that held this case file. If he was on the case, they wouldn't need me in all honesty.

It did however mean I'd be putting in an awful lot of god damn hours on this over the next few weeks.

Not that I had anything important going on at the moment, but it didn't leave me a lot of time to fuck with the beautiful yet evil Miss Swan.

"Thank you Mr. Cullen, see you then."

I hung up the phone and threw my arm over my face for a few minutes. Then I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stretched my arms over my head to begin another wonderful day of Private Investigation.

Some of the cuts on my back from the window glass the other day still hurt, but I'd get over it. At least they weren't open still.

I got up, made the bed, went to the kitchen and popped some Advil before hopping into the shower.

Before leaving I grabbed Jessica's file and decided if someone was interested enough to break into my apartment and photo her file, maybe the Lieutenant would be interested enough to re-open the case.

_Yeah. Good luck with that Cullen._

I slipped into the Vanquish and started her up, closing my eyes and listening to the silent hum of the engine to give myself some calming thoughts before heading toward downtown DC. When I opened my eyes I looked in the rear view mirror and said in my best Gny. Sergeant Hartman voice "Let's see your game face Cullen!"

Then I was off to solve another case for the same police department that had stabbed me in the back four years ago and turned a blind eye on one of their own just so they could meet their cold case quota for the quarter.

_Great idea._

* * *

**A/N: To my knowledge, there is no real such place as the ****Annapolis Mental Health Society Institution. I made it up, don't go stalking Edward there. *winks***

**If you've never seen "Full Metal Jacket" and don't know who Gny. Seargant Hartman is, check him out here: ****www . youtube . com / watch?v=TFNeBRc7W7s&feature=related**


	6. Blood is Thicker than Tequila

**A/N: Chappy song = Brain Stew by Green Day**

* * *

**Chapter 5 ~ "Blood is thicker than Tequila"**

**CULLEN POV**

"You will do well to remove your feet from my desk, Mr. Cullen."

_Gny. Seargent Hartman arriving for duty, sir! _

The Lieutenant entered his office with a thick manila folder in one hand, a huge cup of Joe in the other… And like he was the king of the fucking world. Only looking a little less like Leo DiCaprio in _Titanic_, and more like Jack Nicholson in _Chinatown. _He was older, worn out, smokes too god damn much and has a very bad fucking attitude if you ask me.

"Nice to see you too, Lieutenant," I said, pulling my feet down, straightening myself and continuing my attempt at waking the fuck up. The aroma of his coffee made me want to fucking hump his left leg for a sip of it. "Got anymore of that coffee lying around?"

_Or maybe a shot of Patron?_

"No," He answered, not even looking at me.

_Dick._

He sipped it slowly, for show, smacking his lips and squinting his eyes in ecstasy as I sat there, staring in complete disbelief at his utter fucking morning torture tactics.

_Enjoy that shit while you can captain numbnuts._

"Mmmm…MM! Good stuff." He set it on his desk, right in fucking front of me then sat down, ignoring me to look over the contents of his manila folder.

Now tell me, seriously, what the fuck was I supposed to do? He left himself wide open for Christ's sake.

I picked the Styrofoam cup up, twirling it in my hand, and he looked at me. I felt like I was in one of those old Clint Eastwood movies where he's facing off with the bad guy, hand next to his holster, eying them up.

I looked at it, then the Lieutenant, locked eyes with him for a minute, stood up slowly and then threw it up against his wall as hard as I fucking could.

"Cullen! What the fuck!" he yelled, standing up.

I leaned against his desk onto my knuckles and got right in his face. _I can play peacock games too._ "Did you, or did you _not_ fucking call _me _at 5:15 this morning and ask MY ASS to get the _hell_ out of bed, where I was having a _very_ motherfucking hot ass wet dream might I add, to come down here and help _you_ with your case, _Lieutenant_?"

Now you might be saying to yourself at this point, Cullen, that was just a little over the top, don't you think? But it got my point across, _and_ I bet he fucking offers me coffee the next time I come by.

He pushed a button on his phone and a woman's voice sounded. "Yes Lieutenant?"

"Gracie, get the cleaning crew in here to clean up a mess my guest has made… and get me another cup of coffee."

"Yes sir," she told him, then he sat his fat ass back down into his chair and crossed his arms at me.

I remained standing, scowling.

"Have a seat Cullen."

"I think I'll stand."

He eyed me a minute, and then shrugged and growled, "Have it your way."

_God damn motherfucking right 'my way', asshole._

"What do you want, Lieutenant?"

His phone buzzed and he pressed the stupid button again. "What."

The woman's voice echoed through his office..._again._ "Miss Swan is here to see you sir."

"Send her back Gracie, thanks."

_Okay, excuse my fucking French but… What. The. Fuck?_

"What the fuck Lieutenant?"

He sighed. "I was about to explain to you, Cullen, before you decorated my wall with my coffee, that I've asked another consultant to come onto this one with you, she's got specialties in profiling."

_She's got specialties in a whole hell of a lot more than that, Lieutenant._

Dick twitching 101 was about to begin again. _It is way too early in my day for this shit._

"I don't need a _specialist_, I just need that _cute_ little folder you've got there, and then I can get started on solving your case for you."

He shook his head. "My case, my rules Cullen, you're getting a specialist."

I raked my hand through my hair. This could not POSSIBLY go well.

The Swan walked in and I had to stifle a laugh and a hard on at the same god damn time.

She still had a bandage on her head from the crash she had yesterday with a box, and she really didn't look too good. I mean, she looked _GOOD_, but she looked pretty fucking hung-over.

She frowned even more than she already was when she saw me. That's when I decided that yeah, okay, I'd have a seat. This was bound to be interesting at the very least.

"Lieutenant." She stuck her hand out to him. "Bella Swan." She said it strongly. _So professional. _My perverted mind wondered how much of a problem she'd had deciding whether to wear the leather from the other day, or today's outfit, which I had to admit, wasn't much better.

She sported tight, dark grey bell bottom pinstripe business pants, hugging her in all the right places, a low cut white button down with matching pinstripe jacket. Not to mention the black boots with the fuck me heels again.

_Holy… fuck me hard with those boots on, Swan. I'm begging you. Just once._

_Shit._

The leather must be reserved for very special occasions only. AKA, Edward Cullen. I almost felt honored.

I planted my feet like they were in cement so I wouldn't walk right over to her and push her up against the good Lieutenant's wall and molest her. That's shit's hard to do when the object of your stiffened dick is a mere two feet from you, let me tell ya.

I could barely contain my smile though, staring at those boots, trailing my eyes up her body, taking in the curve of her hips, the swell of her perfectly taught breasts, finally settling on her eyes, which had noticed I was ogling and were glaring at me with something along the lines of day-after-tying-one-on-hungover-kitten-fury.

_Woops._

Her attention was diverted back to Muldoon when he took her hand in his and did one of those finger fucks that guys do when they can't be bothered to shake a woman's hand. You know what I mean, he kinda took it like he was gonna kiss it or something, but then bobbed it up and down once, letting go and wiping his hand on his pants like she had cooties or something.

_Fucking asshole._

I shook my head and watched, in utter disgust, the fuckery that was happening in front of me. You do _not_ take a ladies hand like that unless you plan to fucking kiss it. And then maybe pulling her into you and laying one on her lips like there wasn't gonna be a tomorrow, and there's no one but you and her in the world, getting lost in her taste, her feel… maybe removing her of some clothes…

"Miss Swan," He said, breaking me away from my trance. "This is…"

"_Edward Cullen_, I know, we've met," she said curtly. She _nodded_ at me but barely _looked_ at me, and then sat down in the empty chair sitting _next_ to me.

"Swan," I said, still smiling.

"Cullen," she retorted, _not_ smiling.

Muldoon was about to say something but I wasn't done torturing our good friend yet.

"You're welcome by the way." _Let's see just how much she remembers from yesterday's encounter._ "You know, for saving you from a concussion?" I motioned to her forehead.

She made a disgusted snort through her nose, rolled her eyes at me and said, "Of COURSE you wouldn't be able to wait for someone to thank you _themselves_; you have to thank yourself _FOR_ them."

I arched an eyebrow. "So, you _were _going to thank me then?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "I guess you'll never know, now, will you?"

"Oh good, you know each other," said the Lieutenant, completely fucking oblivious to the sexual tension that was clearly vibrating off of her. People are so blind sometimes.

The cleaning crew swept through and cleaned the coffee off of the wall like they were the scrubbing bubbles or some shit like that and the Lieutenant very awkwardly asked The Swan if she wanted anything. Once she declined he looked at me and I shook my head at him. _Fuck the coffee._

"Can we just get on with this shit?" I asked.

He opened up his manila folder and lay a picture down in front of us and I was glad for the first time that day that I hadn't eaten yet, because I would have lost all of it when I saw that picture.

It was Lauren.

_Dead Lauren._

Strangled to be exact. And then some.

_Shit._

The color in her face was all gone, and she had a piece of barbed wire wrapped around her throat tightly. Blood spilling from the holes in her neck were frozen in time and her mouth was gaping open, her tongue missing, and her eyes were cut out, hanging out by the thin pieces of skin they were still attached to.

I glanced over at The Swan who was looking pretty sickly herself. But I honestly couldn't tell if it was the hangover or the shock that was making her look that way.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her, wanting to rub the little crease between her eyebrows to make it go away, and she couldn't take her eyes off of the picture.

"Where?" I asked the Lieutenant. _And please don't fucking say right outside of my apartment building._

Muldoon looked at his papers. "Constitution Avenue."

I furrowed my brow and looked at him. "By the Mall?"

"Yep. Right behind the Washington Monument."

"Someone's sending a message," I said.

"Yeah, but why this woman?" he asked.

Should I have told him I was supposed to meet Lauren at ten down at the Ram's Head? _Maybe_. Was I going to? _I don't fucking think so._

And before you say anything, let me just explain why that would be a very bad fucking idea.

Number 1, he'd want to know why, and I'd have to tell him because I told her I would last night, outside of my apartment, when we were alone, and no witnesses saw her leave. And number 2, I would therefore be in jail faster than you can say Bella Swan smells really motherfucking good today.

I told you the Lieutenant didn't like me right? Well he'd use just about anything against me in a court of law, and this would be like handing him that shit on a silver platter.

No, and thank you.

"She's a reporter, could be anything," I answered. It was true. Especially the kind of reporter Lauren was. She'd gotten involved in some of the area's most notorious cases and dabbled in all kinds of dangerous shit.

Muldoon nodded with his arms crossed and sat back in his chair. He was jetting his bottom lip out and furrowing his brow as though he was running through the stories she'd run recently in the Washington Post. Seems like I was the only one that knew she had a new lead. It was just too fucking bad she didn't get the chance to tell me what that lead was.

"Okay, anything being withheld from the media?" I asked him. Bella… The Swan, was still staring at the picture until I said that, lost in her thoughts I suppose. She seemed to snap out of her daze and joined the land of the investigative services again. She looked at Muldoon.

"The barbed wire, but that's it. We don't need any fucking copy cats going around making pretty duplicates in people's back yards around here." Then he remembered something else. "Oh yeah, and her eyes."

"What the fuck do you mean, _her eyes_?"

"They were two different colors."

_They were? huh._

I looked over at The Swan, her eyes were already looking away, but I knew their color already. Chocolate brown. Deep too, not like mud. She seemed to feel me looking at her and glanced over at me uncomfortably before looking away again. I could see the blush rising to her cheeks and I got lost in it. I fucking loved it when she did that.

We finally all stood up after discussing a few more details about Lauren's untimely death, and I grabbed the manila folder from Muldoon. As The Swan and I started to leave, I remembered my own alternate agenda that I needed to address.

"Oh, Lieutenant," Swan stopped and waited just outside the door.

"Yeah?" he asked. I pulled Jess's folder out from the inside of my jacket and he eyed it. "Last night, someone broke into my apartment. They were after this." I tried to hand it to him, but he saw Jess's name and shoved it back at me. "You have proof?"

"No, I don't fucking have proof, but someone was in my apartment, and they were rifling."

"_Rifling_." He stated it, sarcastically, waiting for the explanation to go along with the word I'd chosen.

I cleared my throat. _Stand your ground, Cullen. _"Yes, rifling. And I think they photo'd the entire file."

"I see, and tell me Cullen, what gives you this idea?" he asked me, amused with himself.

I sighed. I knew how idiotic I was about to sound, and yet, I said it anyway. I literally couldn't stop myself, it was like a run away train with no track left. "The papers were… moved."

He laughed. And I don't mean he laughed like, "oh, good one Cullen". He fucking boomed his laugh and the whole fucking floor heard him. People stood up to see what the noise was because I'm sure they didn't hear that sound coming out of this dick very often.

"Cullen, you always did have an imagination." He was still laughing, and now he was shuffling me out of his office, patting me on the back.

That was the wrong fucking phrase to use with my cranky ass today.

I spun around. "An _imagination_? You're insinuating that Jess's death was fucking _IMAGINED_? You desk sitting, pencil pushing, case ignoring, budget haggling prick!" I dropped Jess's folder and saw The Swan pick it up out of my peripheral vision. I cocked my hand back to punch that motherfucker in his smug, laughing, ugly face and she grabbed it.

I looked at her, confused. For one thing, because she was really fucking strong if she could hold my fist back like that and I didn't miss the defined lines in her forearm and biceps as she just shook her head at me, furrowing the little crease between her eyebrows and grimacing, like a school teacher.

"Detectives!" Muldoon yelled for some lackeys to come take me away because god fucking knows he wouldn't be able to all by himself, but I was already leaving.

"Forget it," I said, pulling my hand out of The Swan's grasp. "We'll call when we get something."

"Good decision Cullen. We'll be in touch," he assured me, scuttling back into his hole and shutting the door, then closing his blinds.

_Yeah, that's it, hide you chicken shit, hide in your safe little office, in your safe little building that's nestled in your safe little precinct._

"Assfuck," I mumbled, getting onto the elevator and grabbing my Jessica folder back from The Swan. I should have fucking known better than to expect someone out of this office to give a flying fuck about the case. They didn't give a shit four years ago, why would they give a shit now?

I leaned up against the back of the elevator and let my head fall back, crossing my arms and closing my eyelids.

I heard her clear her throat a little and I opened a single eye at her.

"You did sound kinda crazy with the whole, 'the papers were moved' thing, ya know." She said it with her hands up in the air, waving them, and talking like you do when you're imitating a ghost.

I closed my eye again. "Yeah, well if you had any idea how perfectly maintained my fucking files are, you wouldn't be saying that _Swan_."

"Well if…" she started, but I really wasn't in the fucking mood.

"Swan."

"What?"

"Do you see how my eyes are closed right now?"

"Yeah…"

"That means I'm trying to enjoy some peace and fucking quiet for a goddamn minute or two, if that's okay with you."

She didn't say anything else, but I did hear her lean herself up against one of the elevator walls and let out a highly annoyed sigh. I could feel her glaring at me, so I opened an eye at her again and caught her staring right at Eddie Junior, her mouth was slightly open, and she was licking her lips. God only knew what was going through that head of hers. She was probably fantasizing about ways to castrate me.

"Enjoying the view?" I asked, smirking. Her head whipped up and she locked eyes with me for just a moment as she snapped her mouth shut. She quickly looked away at some paper that was posted by the floor buttons, pretending to read it.

_Ah, the blush… there it is again._

I laughed quietly to myself and closed my eye once again.

After a few minutes I asked her, "Why'd you stop me from punching him, Swan?"

I heard her clear her throat again. "I don't know. He looked like he _wanted_ you to do it, like he was waiting for it so he could have you taken away. I didn't…" She trailed off, like she didn't want to have to say the rest, so I piped in for her.

"Some things are just worth it Swan. That would have been one of them."

The rest of the ride down to the lobby was pretty quiet other than the screaming I was doing in my head about what a complete fucking douche Muldoon was. I stepped out of the elevator first, stalking out of the building as fast as I could.

As I was making my way out the lobby doors, the Swan finally opened her sweet little mouth again. "Who's Jessica?" She asked from behind me.

My hand fell frozen on the handle and I stopped briefly. Jess's smile flashed before my face for a minute, then I continued out through the door, on to the steps and was about to tell her it was none of her fucking business when a patrol car pulled up and the big annoying mammoth driving it jumped out excitedly.

"Bells!" he yelled.

_Bells?_

She waved and smiled at Emmett and I have to say, smiles on the Swan are perfection, but what the fuck is it with everyone I know giving my sworn enemy cute little nick names?

"Lovely." I said. And she took that opportunity to try and snoop into my life even further.

"Isn't that your brother?"

"Yeah but try not to hold it against me." I said, continuing down the steps and trying to move past Emmett to the Vanquish. I didn't really need to work _with _her on this case, after all. And if I _did _happen to need… "profiling", I could always just stop by her office and hopefully catch another glimpse of sexy seductress Swan dancing.

"Hey, Edward…" Emmett started cautiously. I tried to side step him but we bumped into each other anyway and I dropped the Jessica file. He bent over when I did, trying to help me pick up the papers that had fallen and noticed the name on the groove.

"Edward… what are you doing, man?"

I snatched what he had in his hand away and put them neatly back into the folder. "What I always do, Em… making a complete fucking idiot of myself, right?" I spat at him.

"If you're opening old wounds, then yeah," he replied, looking like I had just been told I have cancer or something. I hate pity looks, they make me wanna fucking punch something, or some_one_.

"Fuck you." I said. Not my best retort of all time, but it was all I had right then, and I'd take it. I continued walking over to the Vanquish and Emmett hesitantly returned to his groupies.

I'd almost forgotten about The Swan until I heard her running and yelling after me, "Cullen! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to start… _investigating_…" I snapped as she caught up to me. I spun around and she walked right into me. I had to grab her by the arm to keep her from falling and I wondered how often she made it a habit of running into shit.

She looked up at me with those big brown eyes as I finished my sarcasm. "It's this cool thing people like me do, it's how we get paid, when people aren't _sabotaging_ our work that is," I added that last part incase she'd forgotten.

She started to get smart with me, but I shushed her, holding my hand up to stop her from talking for a minute as I noticed something really fucking odd.

Emmett was off chatting it up with his co-horts near his car while another officer, and I use that term loosely, Mike motherfucking pussy ass Newton, was sneaking around the back and opening Emmett's passenger side door to put something in his cruiser.

"What the fuck are you up to today, Newton?" I asked quietly, more to myself than anyone.

Mike Newton was a dirty cop. A low life. One of the lowest lives as a matter of fact, that you will ever cross paths within DC. Maybe even in the entire tri-state area, but that's still to be proven. He went to Broadneck High School with us in Annapolis, then Academy, and graduated… literally, last in our class. His family pulled a lot of fucking strings to get him through graduation with the rest of us and he scored a position on the DC police force thanks to mommy and daddy too.

He also pulled a lot of shit throughout his career and tried bringing a few people down with him in the process. People who were stupid enough to get sucked into his world always ended up taking the fall for him on several occasions and ended up booted out of the program.

The Swan followed my line of vision and saw what was going on now, and made a move to go say something but I stopped her. "What? He's…"

"I know… stay here," I said to her. I waited for Newton to close the door and make his way back around the back of the cruiser. I snuck right up to where he'd been, croutching down low onto my tippy toes and opened the door, pulling out a ziplock baggie of white powder.

"What is it?"

"Shit!" I jumped, losing my balance and falling backwards. I grabbed for whatever I could to stop myself from succumbing to gravity, which happened to be The Swan's tiny little hips and she inadvertently fell right on top me, pinning my shoulders to the concrete and landing not more than a couple of inches from my face.

I caught my breath, I'm not gonna lie, she not only scared the shit out of me but the way she was straddling me with her legs had my dick pressed right up against a certain area of The Swan's anatomy that it was more than eager to visit lately. I'm pretty fucking sure she purposefully grinded herself into my shit too, making me groan out at the unbelievably hot friction it caused.

_Fuck if she doesn't feel good._

Her breast pushed up against me and all my brain could manage to think about was ripping that fucking jacket off of her so I wouldn't be denied feeling a little bit more of her.

The look in her eyes was confusing to me too, as we sat there for what seemed like a goddamn eternity and yet only a few moments had gone by I'm sure. It was like she was debating something. Math maybe. I don't know because I was still trying to figure out whatever the fuck it was I personally was feeling at the moment… Anxious? Breathless? It was fucking weird, is all I know.

The smile that crept onto my lips wouldn't be stuffed away into the confines of my control this time though. I could have very easily put my lips on hers at that moment, rolled her over, and molested her right in the middle of the street, but was pretty sure Eddie Jr. would get a visit from The Swan's knee if I did.

_Baseball stats, baseball stats, baseball stats… think of some fucking baseball stats Cullen! _

_OK… Babe Ruth, otherwise known as George Herman Ruth, Jr. Born February 6, 1895, other aliases were The Bambino, The Sultan of Slam…_

_Okay, this is working I think._

The fucking smell of her Lavender shampoo from the other day in her office wasn't helping much either. I closed my eyes, taking in her scent and instinctively fisting her waist, trying to reign in the beast that wanted to ravage her sexy ass.

_Mmmmmmm… smells. so. fucking. good. _

_Fuck… ummm… he was the starting pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, played from 1914 to 1935… sold to the New York fucking Yankees in 1919… shit…_

When I opened my eyes again, she was scowling at me and that is what finally brought me back to my present major irritation. "Swan," I said, lifting her off of me, hoping to hell she hadn't noticed the woody I had been sporting.

_Yeah, like that was something she could just ignore, Cullen_.

"Did I not just fucking tell you to wait over THERE?" I nodded over toward the sidewalk.

She pushed off of me suddenly and awkwardly, _blushing_, and I got back onto my toes, bending at the knees, opening the baggie as I heard Newton approaching Em on the other side of the car. "Routine searches today Cullen, mind if I…" he waved at Em's cruiser and Emmett gave him a look. "Routine searches on who's authority, Newton?"

I crouched back down and dipped my pinky into the bag, tasting the sample. Then I did a Johnny Depp impersonation from _Blow_. "This is Grade A, 100% pure Colombian cocaine, ladies and gentlemen... _Disco shit_... Pure as the driven snow."

Swan looked at me with as much annoyance as she could muster with her hangover.

"What?" I asked.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" She shook her head. "And why did that police officer put that in Emmett's car?"

I peeked back over at the conversation he was having with Emmett. "Lieutenant's authorization, dickwad. You willing to question him yourself?" he was saying.

Emmett squared on him. _Punch his ass, Em. _"No, but I _am_ willing to give you a new face if you call me a dickwad again, _Newton_."

I shoved the baggie into my jacket pocket and closed the door quietly, motioning for the Swan to follow me. We snuck to the back of the car and stood up as though we'd been there the whole time. "Maybe you should let him check it out Em." I said, looking very thoughtful. "You wouldn't want to upset Muldoon, now, would you?" I winked. He knows I hate that fucker.

He creased his brow at me, but gave in, waving for Newton to "go right ahead" and Newton smiled a knowing smile.

So did I.

While Newton was pretending to search Emmett's trunk, Emmett was scowling with his arms crossed, waiting for the fuckery to end. Everyone else was paying attention to Newtons display as I slipped the baggie back into his duffle that was sitting on the sidewalk.

_Never leave your bags unattended ladies and gentlemen. Ya never know who's gonna slip a little bit of yummy cocaine goodness into your shit._

The Swan watched everything and everyone with what seemed like honest to god curiosity and amusement, giving me an arched eyebrow every once in a while. I could see the wheels turning inside that pretty head of hers. She was planning on getting the back story on this somehow later on.

Ideas flittered through my head about ways The Swan could try convincing me to spill my family history to her and my dick was screaming _"look, if you want me to stop stiffening up on you, stop fucking thinking about Swan riding your ass like a cowgirl on a wild bull. Prick."_

I stuck my hands into my jean pockets, adjusting myself and just watching her for a little while. Every so often she'd shake her head, like she disapproved of how Newton was going about his search. I even heard her let out a disgusted grunt at one point when he missed an entire section of the back seat.

It's not like he was really searching Emmett's cruiser anyway, he already knew where the coke was, or thought he did anyway. He didn't exactly care about the rest of the car.

My Kodak moment was when he got to the passenger's side front door and opened it. The look of utter confusion on his face was fucking priceless.

"What the…"

"What? What's wrong?" Emmett asked, unfolding his arms and squinting through the windshield to see what Newton was looking at.

Newton practically ransacked the front seat looking for his baggie.

_It ain't there, detective Clousseau._

I thought he was gonna literally pull the front seat apart when Emmett finally grabbed him by his uniform and pulled him away. "Okay, Newton, search over. I have shit to do."

"But the…"

I had to work really hard to hide my laughter as he finally walked back over to his duffel bag and picked it up, slinging it over his shoulder. He went to zipper it up and noticed the baggie. If I thought the previous look on his face was golden, I was sorely mistaken. This one definitely won the Oscar. Even The Swan had to look away to contain herself.

The color drained from his face as he looked around to see if anyone had noticed him, and then zipped the bag closed. When he locked eyes with me, I gave him my "I just fucked you good" look, complete with smirk and eyebrow waggle, free of charge.

Newton's face turned red and I knew I had him. There wasn't shit he could do about it at that point either. Sure, I was now on yet another person's official shit list, but I was okay with that.

"Anything wrong Newton?" I asked, looking concerned. "What ya got there?"

He shoved his fist into the bag and finished zipping it closed, then started toward me. "What the fuck are you doing here anyway Cullen? Babysitting your big bro?"

I don't back down from people like Newton. I don't back down from many people, period. So I took that opportunity to let him know what an incompetent assfuck he really was.

"Actually, I was called down here by _your_ boss… to do _your_ job for you. _Again_."

I was readying myself and pushing the Swan behind me. No reason for her to get in the middle of this shit.

Emmett's partner, Tyler Crowley had already slid into the open passenger's door and shut it. Emmett made his way around to the driver's side fast and put a hand on Newton's chest. "Back off Newton, why don't you go back to your detectives chair and type up your search results for Muldoon."

They stared at each other and I frowned at my missed opportunity to give Newton a bloody lip.

Now, Emmett stands a good foot, if not more, above Newton. He could squash him like a fucking earthworm in a heartbeat and keep on walking. I don't know why he didn't just do it. It's not like that shit didn't happen on a day to day basis around these gorillas. For some reason though, he just dropped his hand from Newton's chest and backed off.

Newton finally turned and left up the stairs, into the building, but not before giving me one last look of "I'm gonna git you sucka" written all over his face.

_Yeah, get in line pal._

Emmett and I locked eyes again. "I don't need you to take care of me, Em. I'm pretty sure I know how to handle myself with fucking Newton."

"I didn't do that for you, Edward…" He said, then went to get into the cruiser. I started to approach him.

He eyed me and said through gritted teeth so that just I could hear him. "Don't ever try to make me look like an ass in front of him again, Eddy. I have enough fucking problems around here without adding you to the list. Got it?"

I really had to swallow back the instinct to punch him for the Eddy thing.

"Em…"

"And don't egg him on, dude, I don't like him either, but he's got all the right connections. One wrong move and there's bound to be consequences."

I laughed with a little bit of a bitter edge, I'll admit. "Since when do you give a shit about the consequences of doling out a little bit of Cullen pain on an ass like Newton?"

"Just… back off, Edward," he finished, making his point, and hopped into the cruiser, taking off at dramatically high speeds.

_Show off._

It wasn't ever really like Em to take that kinda shit from anyone. It had me curious. The dynamics around here had clearly changed over the years and I wondered what the fuck kind of shit storm I had missed.

_What's wrong with this picture?_

The rest of the officers finally dissipated and the only ones left were The Swan and I, standing on the sidewalk. "I don't get it." She piped in. I was staring after Emmett's cruiser still. I really didn't want to get into a conversation at that point in time, so I did what I do best. I became a jack ass.

"You see, put your hands on this round thing, called a steering wheel, then you push this pedal…"

"Fuck you Cullen… I mean you and him."

"You're not curious about the Coke?" I asked, surprised that wasn't her first objective to conquer.

"No I can deduce that all on my own. The blonde clearly has a history with the two of you, goes way back, probably to elementary school…"

_Close. _

"…_he_ works directly with _Muldoon_, who doesn't like _you_, who pissed him off _royally_ somehow before I got here this morning, and is therefore looking to take it out on your _brother_ since he needs _you_ to solve his case for him."

_Not bad._

"Why would you think I pissed Muldoon off this morning?"

She laughed. "You piss everyone off, Cullen."

Okay, she had me there.

"What I _don't_ get is why you didn't tell your brother about the Coke."

_That, my friend, is a loaded question._

"I'd planned on it…" I shrugged.

"But…"

"He was a dick. Fuck him. Besides, he wouldn't have believed me anyway. He might hate Newton, but he has a basic core confidence in the DC Police Department that they aren't crooked. At least, not the ones he works with."

She narrowed her eyes.

I shrugged. "What can I say, he's a fucking idiot."

"If you can't stand him so much, then why take the Coke out of his car in the first place? Why not let that Newton guy find it?"

_What, do I have to spell this shit out for her?_

"Because he's _my_ motherfucking brother. If anyone's gonna fuck with him, it's gonna be me, not some nutless wonder who doesn't deserve to wear that uniform he puts on every god damn day and be a part of the same police force as someone like Emmett fucking Cullen." I had to give her a break I guess, I forgot she didn't have siblings. She wouldn't understand.

She stared at me. Smiling that cute little smile I saw earlier. And kinda like the one I saw in her office yesterday, pre-invoice. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing," She said, keeping the smile. "Let's get going on that case, we can take my truck." She started walking toward the fucking… ugliest piece of shit I have ever seen in my entire life and I stopped her dead in her tracks.

"I'm not driving in that." I nodded to the dilapidated… _thing_ she called a truck.

She looked over her shoulder and then back at me. "Why not?"

_Because it's a piece of shit that's gonna fall apart on your ass any second now._

I laughed "Because it's a hazard. We'll take my car." I started to lead her to the Vanquish.

She started to pull away from me, but I wouldn't let her. "I don't think so," she said, still tugging her arm. She looked at me, staring intensely into my eyes, like she was looking right into my soul, figuring out math problems again. It gave me a really fucking weird feeling, so I let go of her arm and raked my hand through my hair.

"Swan… I do not want to get half way to Pennsylvania Avenue and break down on the side of Constitution motherfucking Avenue with no god damn way to get home. Come on, a ride in the Bat Mobile will do you some good."

She rolled her eyes at me and I even thought I heard a small chuckle, then she locked the truck up. _Yeah Swan, like anyone's gonna steal that thing. _Then she followed me to the Vanquish. As she got in she did one of those laugh things through her nose, practically snorting.

"What?" I said, as I started her up.

"Flashy much?"

I turned to her, leaning in just a bit so I was pretty close to those succulent lips of hers.

_Mistake number one._

"Swan, I will have you know, this baby has caught up to many a criminal trying to flee the scene of a crime in her day…" I eyed the back seat. _"…_and she's HIGHLY roomy in the back for the occasional back seat of the car fuck."

_Annnnnd… there's mistake number two. _

Now my dick was twitching again. I needed to turn this shit around. "She's multi talented." I eyed her. "Much like you." I smiled and winked at her then pulled out into traffic as her jaw dropped and she turned to look out of her window.

I thought I heard her mumble something along the lines of "doesn't look THAT roomy."

_There's that blush again. Nicely done, Cullen._

About ten minutes into the drive The Swan finally found her voice again.

"Where are we going again?"

"We, my fine feathered tiny dancer, are off to see the Wizard."

She rolled her eyes at the tiny dancer comment. "Well that's not cryptic at all." She said as she mindlessly reached for the stereo knobs and started playing with them, attempting to find the one that changed the channel, no doubt.

"Don't… touch the…" I reached for her hand to move it but she pulled it away too fast, and reached over mine again for the knobs, laughing. I reached out again, but she just kept circling my hand and soon we looked like the fucking Marx Brothers, each slapping the other's hand out of the way, trying to be the one to grab the knob.

"Fuck!" I finally yelled, giving up, and she turned the station to some hip hop crap that I'd couldn't fucking stand. I immediately turned it back using my controls that were located on the steering wheel.

_HA!_

"You are such a control freak," she said, shaking her head and turning the station manually again, looking for something else.

"ME… _I'M _the control freak? Miss, walk into my office, make my dick cry out for mercy and then leave like the little leather sporting cock tease that you are." Then I mumbled, remembering her walking away that day, "Fucking red fuck me heels."

Her mouth fell open. "Cock…t… _you_! Are one to talk, _mister_ _voyeurism_, coming over and… putting your… voo doo eyes on me, and … that… INVOICE!"

She was losing her shit again.

_Danger Will Robinson._

I didn't really want to start laughing… well, I did want to start laughing, but she might cause me physical harm if I did, so I tried to reign it in.

"That was just to fuck with you, Swan. I don't really expect the WHOLE cost to be reimbursed."

Okay, I didn't reign it ALL in.

"You are… _such_ an ass," she said, whipping her head around to look out the window again.

She really was kinda cute when she was mad, I had to admit. I could see her temple pulsing and the little area between her eyebrows creasing into a V.

And this time, I did laugh. "You shouldn't scowl like that, my sister says you'll get premature wrinkles or some shit like that."

"Jerk."

"Ah! We're here!" I pulled into a spot and parked us, then started to get out. "Wait," she said, grabbing my arm. "We're going to see the Mayor?"

"Very good Swan, what was your first clue?"

"Why?"

"Well, first and foremost, because he was the last person I know of to see the victim alive."

_Aside from me that is._

"What? He… when?"

I sat back in my seat, and looked at her, baffled. "The pictures?"

She honestly didn't get it. Which initially led me to believe the Mayor was hiding something more than just a side fling. "Why exactly did you think you were destroying pictures for the Mayor, Swan?"

She shook her head and shrugged a little. "He said you had it out for him, that you stalked him, took pictures of him while he was sunbathing naked in his back yard and were going to sell them to the highest bidder."

I laughed out loud at that shit. I looked her in the eyes that seemed puzzled now, and then laughed some more. Seriously, I had to bend over from the hysterics, and my fucking sides hurt.

"Swan, do you _honestly_ see that fuck as someone who would SUN bathe? He's a god damn politician, not a Calvin Klein model. And you call yourself an _investigator_?"

She was letting it all sink in now.

"So he was… with the… and you…"

_Bingo. Tell her what she's won Johnny!_

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Let's go," I said again, and continued out of the car. She met me on my side and we started up the stairs to the Lion's Den to ask a few questions of my friend the Mayor.

"I'm not an idiot," she told me as we walked up to the front door of the building. I could just see what was coming, her deep seeded need to prove herself as a woman in a sea of men.

"I never said you were." I didn't think she was either, in fact, I knew she wasn't.

"I graduated in the top five of my class Cullen, I would have figured him out eventually, I interned with the police back where I'm from for two years, I studied cases on a daily basis, even solved some… I have a degree in…"

"Psychology, I know." I said sarcastically, and not thinking… then I kicked myself in the nuts for fucking up like that.

_Shit._

She stopped and I kept walking. "You _know_?" she asked. I could almost feel the anger starting to rise up inside of her.

I slowed, and then finally stopped. I could still get out of this. I turned and smiled. "Come on Swan, logically, it was the next thing coming out of your mouth… plus, you're the type."

She scowled that frustrated, sexy little scowl of hers again. "The _type?"_

See? Distraction accomplished. No lying necessary.

"Yeah, you know… always asking those mind fuck questions… like about me and my brother earlier." Not exactly where I wanted to go with this, but if it got her off of the whole, me knowing about what fucking degrees she had, I'd sacrifice a small conversation about me and Em. Dishing with The Swan beat dishing with Tanya Denali any day.

"Well, it's just interesting to me, being an only child, and wishing to god I'd had sisters and brothers growing up, to see someone who has it, right in his grasp, and he doesn't treat it with the love and respect it deserves."

Wow, that statement just made my head hurt.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and squinted my eyes shut in concentration. "Swan…" I started. "Just be grateful you didn't grow up with someone that your parents made you feel like you had to compete with your whole life. You probably got every fucking thing your little heart desired, your own room, every animal you ever yearned for, you were daddy's little girl, never second best, wrapped in a perfect protective little bubble your whole life, probably back packed across fucking Europe or some shit like that to go… 'find' yourself even though you were right there in front of your own beautiful heart shaped face the whole god damn time."

I did tell you I babble at times of high stress, right?

When I finally was able to stop my mouth from having diarrhea, I noticed the look on her face and I felt like maybe I wasn't actually too far off even though I was really just throwing shit out there to side step her from the degree thing.

So why did I feel like I'd just fucking spilled half of my family history to the Swan as opposed to making insinuations about her's?

"Look. Things with Em and me… it's… complicated."

"I'm sure I could keep up," she teased, putting her hands on those cute little hips of hers, leaning most of her weight onto one foot.

_Smart ass._

I gave her a heavy sigh and just said, "Another time, we have bigger fish to fry right now." I led her through the doors into the lobby of the office building, and we walked up to the receptionist's desk, who was very busy painting her nails.

I hate the fucking smell of nail polish by the way. That shit makes me sneeze like a motherfucker.

"Hi." The young girl blushed immediately and quickly hid her nail polish away from us, then smiled back at me.

"Hello, how can I help you Mister…."

"Cullen," I said in low, friendly voice, smiling. "Edward Cullen. We need to see the Mayor, Miss…"

"B…Binder." She stuttered nervously and I chuckled just a little because..._Binder._..Seriously?

"Miss Binder. Great name." I winked. "Do you suppose he could fit us in? It'll only take a moment of his time." I flashed her my credentials and she said she'd be right back.

When I turned around, leaning against the reception desk, The Swan was gaping.

I just managed to laugh a short laugh, but didn't get my question out when she said "Do you do that often?"

"Do… _what_… often?"

"Charm the pants off of unsuspecting women?"

_She thinks I'm charming._

"You think I'm charming?" I asked, smiling and showing her all of my teeth.

Second guessing the word she chose, she turned tables on me. "Well… you think I'm beautiful." She said, jetting her chin out a bit.

I put my hand on the small of her back and started leading her down the hallway leading to the exit that would take us to the alleyway behind the building.

"I think your _face_ is beautiful… the rest of you…" I eyed her down and back up again. "Has yet to be seen."

_Hopefully. _

I was entering into dangerous waters here… Eddy Junior was getting a little hyper on me when I thought about her getting out of that offensive pin stripe suit she had on and into my bed… _again, with the 'my bed' shit? Seriously?_

She blushed but it didn't last long because she finally noticed I was leading her out the back and she must have gotten nervous that I was gonna go lunatic on her or something because she side stepped out of my arm and asked "just exactly where are we going Cullen?"

"Do you really think the Mayor is gonna come out of his comfy office to see _me,_ Swan?"

Before she could really start giving me shit about that, we were out the back door and in the alley, face to face with the Mayor, who was attempting a quick getaway.

_Busted._

"Mayor!" I yelled and he stopped short before getting all the way into his limo. So did his larger than a WWF wrestler security detail. The Mayor had one foot in the car, his hand on the roof and he did not look happy at getting caught. Can't blame the guy, but he is dealing with a Cullen after all.

I smiled. "How are you today sir? I'm helping DCPD out a little bit on a case and thought maybe you'd know something about it."

The Swan was keeping up, but she was still behind me at this point.

"Mr. Cullen," The Mayor sounded. "You remember Felix, my security from the other day." He smiled, motioning to the large man standing next to him now and I nodded up at him.

"'Sup."

I cannot stress enough how you can _never_… let them see you sweat, no matter how fucking huge they are. Eighty percent of all fights are won mentally. Ask Rocky Balboa. He'll back me up.

I looked back to the Mayor, but kept an eye on Felix to make sure he didn't make any sudden fucking moves to his gun.

"Smooth move with the photos the other day, Mayor. Although I would think you'd have trusted the person you were having help you enough to at least tell her the truth about what you were asking her to destroy." _Choke on that, dickless wonder._ And to think I'd seen this guy as a celebrity.

"I don't know what you mean, Cullen. I always tell the truth." He smiled that fake ass smile politicians smile when they're lying through their fucking teeth and they know it, and we know it and they know we know it. Then he looked around me at The Swan, noticing her for the first time. "Keeping pretty questionable company, don't you think Miss Swan?"

I don't know why my protective instincts kicked in like they did, but I truly wanted to rearrange his face for that comment. "Don't fucking look at her, and definitely do not _speak_ to her. She's the one innocent bystander in all of this shit. And stop avoiding the fucking question."

"I don't think you actually asked me a question yet Mr. Cullen, and I'm very busy, so…" He went to get into the limo and I made to get closer to stop him, but Felix stepped in my way, placing one of his large beefy hands on my chest.

"Lauren's dead, Mayor," I said around his big ass. "She was killed last night." I needed a reaction, needed to read him.

He stopped again. I was trying to figure out the look on his face. It looked like shock, but he could just be playing the part. I thought I heard him mumble something to himself about "she wouldn't have", or "she shouldn't have?"… _something_ like that, but I couldn't quite make it out.

"Have a nice day, Mr. Cullen," Felix smiled down at me, and then pushed me back for good measure. "You too big guy," I said, and then he slid into the limo behind the Mayor and they were off.

I breathed out and let my lips flap against each other, raking my hands through my hair. "Did you catch what he was saying there? Just before they left?" I asked The Swan.

"Oh now I'm worth having an active role in this investigation? What was with all the 'don't speak to her' crap?" She was getting defensive. Clearly she misunderstood my intentions here. Why do women always think the worst of men's intentions? Here I was trying to keep her free and clear of any fuckery, and she's pissing on my chivalry.

Well screw that. I didn't need this shit. Seriously. It's not like I asked for a partner.

"Fine. I tell ya what, Swan, you stay out of my way, and we'll get this case solved in short time, and then you won't have to worry about 'being involved' or not. M'kay?" I said it all sweet and sappy, clapping my hands together once. You know, so she'd know I didn't mean it.

"Oh I see," she said, acting a little too dumb for her. I scowled at her. "YOU'LL solve the big, bad case, then little old me won't have to worry my pretty little head about it, right?"

_Was she mocking me? _

"Wow, you really think a lot of yourself using the word 'pretty' Swan."

_I'd use something a little stronger, like alluring, stunning, maybe even provocative…_

"And you really think a lot of yourself, insinuating you can solve this without me."

_Okay, now that's a little uncalled for._

"Well I've been doing it _just fine _without you for about four years." I was raising my voice now.

_Yeah, baby, eat that._

"I think you're standards must be a lot lower than I thought they were if you're okay with doing 'just fine' for four years, Cullen." She arched one of her eyebrows at me, smirking and stalked off down the alley to the front street where the Vanquish was parked.

I had to admit, I was speechless. I'd walked RIGHT into that one.

_Point to Swan._

I followed her down the alley feeling like a dog that had just gotten told not to pee on the carpet, frowning at her, and yet, enjoying the view that her ass was providing me. I started smiling. Maybe this day wasn't such a complete and utter loss.

We were just about to get into the Vanquish when I heard some yelling and taunting and noticed a group of kids a little further down the block, gathering around another one. They had baseball bats and tire irons. The Swan stopped her decent into the front seat and followed my line of vision.

A momentary break in the circle allowed me to see that is was Seth in the middle of that fuckery.

I sighed, closing my eyes. _Not your responsibility Cullen. _

"Who's that?" she asked.

_You did your good deed. Leave it alone._

I furrowed my brow, watching the boys laugh as they congregated around him.

_FUCK._

I went to the trunk of the car and opened it.

"Cullen?"

I took my bat out and closed the trunk. "Wait in the car," I told her. Not that I thought she'd listen after this afternoon's incident with Emmett's shit.

"Why? What are you gonna do?" she asked nervously. As if this wasn't fully fucking obvious that I was about to get into a street gang fight, being outnumbered ten to one.

I turned to her. "Swan, just do me a fucking favor, and _stay_. In. the. God. Damn. _Car_." I handed her my keys and she nodded and got in, locking the doors.

_You are such an idiot, Cullen. _

I sized up the kids, figured I could go for the big ones first, then the little ones would scatter. Some were older, maybe early twenties, but a lot of them looked not even fifteen. That fucking pissed me off. God damn gangs recruiting shit heads that don't even know how to make up their own minds yet.

I was about twenty feet away when I put my thumb and middle finger to my mouth and whistled, then started full out running at them like one of those crazy motherfuckers straight out of _Goodfellas_.

I was right; some of the smaller ones took off, running in all different directions like rats deserting a ship. What was left was about two older teens, a twenty something and a dude that looked like he'd lost half of his face. Each of them had tattoos of a knife on their necks. I knew this gang. Bad fucking news.

I could see Seth on the ground, he was beat up a little, but no blood. That was the good news.

The bad news was, these guys didn't play. Even though there were four of them, I figured I could take at least two at a time, making my odds really become two to one instead of four to one… that and taking into account I was highly skilled and bigger than all four of them.

I just hoped The Swan had the sense to take off if anything bad suddenly happened.

_Batter up!_

I swung at the biggest asshole first, landing a decent blow to his rib cage and he went down, dropping his tire iron on the way. He'd be back, but it bought be some time and credibility with the other three dicks still coming at me.

My foot found the second kids face and then the bat found his knee caps. Brutal, I know, but it's far nicer than anything they'd be dishing out on my sorry ass if I didn't win this fight.

The third one swung and missed as I swerved my head back, thank fucking god because that shit was aimed right for my temple.

_God damn gang members!_

The fourth guy… 'Two Face', was smiling, waiting, sizing me up, slapping his bat into the palm of his free hand. I was taking the opportunity to get a breather, backing away some toward Seth, making sure no one snuck up on me.

"Take off kid and no one else needs to get hurt."

He laughed at me, and his other buddies were getting their bearings again. This was not going to end well. I didn't want to have to pull my colt out on these guys, but I fucking would if they didn't get a god damn clue here soon.

Just then The Swan walked over.

_Of course._

"What's the problem guys?" she asked flippantly like she'd just walked up on a fucking pow-wow or something.

Two Face laughed and eyed her, licking his lips and gyrating like she was a piece of god damn meat or something.

"Aaaaay, mama_cita_. You wanna git wit a _real_ man ton_iiiigght_?" He asked in his thick Latino accent while he reached to touch her. The Swan took his wrist just as he was about to graze her shoulder and snapped it in half, making a loud popping sound. I knew that sound. She'd broken his wrist.

_Damn, The Swan's got mad ninja skills. Cullen likey._

Is it wrong that I just got a major fucking hard on watching The Swan take down Two Face?

I sucked in some air through my teeth, sarcastically cringing. "Ohhhh… that's gonna leave a mark."

He bent over in pain, screaming like a girl and she kneed him in the face, flinging him backward onto his back. Then she bent down so he could see her face while she advised him "Do. Not. Ever. Fucking. Touch. ME."

She said that shit with _passion_ and I had to fucking give it to her. I laughed my ass off.

The other three that were making their way back at us looked pretty pissed and The Swan made her way over to where I was. We both pulled our weapons at the same time and pointed them at the two bigger guys.

This got their attention.

_Fucking finally._

They all three dropped their weapons and held their hands up.

"Get your _fellow cocksucker_, and get as far the FUCK away from us as you can, before me and my friend here fill you sorry asses with bullets that will implode upon impact, causing really big pretty holes to appear in all of your major organs!" The Swan warned them.

"Nicely done," I told her, nodding in approval.

"Thanks," she said, blowing her bangs out of her face.

They did as they were told. They picked the kid with the broken wrist and bloodied face up off the ground and took off. I immediately went to Seth and picked him up. His shoes were missing.

They were fucking beating him for his GOD damn _shoes_.

I wanted to throw up.

"Come on, before they get their real weapons and come back to play target practice." I was hurrying toward the car and The Swan of course had a million questions.

"Who is that? Why did you just risk your life for this kid? Do you know him? Is he yours? When does…"

"Swan!"

"What?"

"Just… get in the fucking car, we talk once we're outta here."

I got Seth into the back and slid into the Vanquish while The Swan jumped into the passenger's seat and we left.

She left me alone for a little while to be lost in my thoughts and I was thankful for that small token of fucking sense she had.

Seth's wrist cast was all fucked up, which for one thing, meant that he'd been to see Carlisle, and that Carlisle hadn't told him to fuck off. He was obviously gonna have to have that re-set, and he was still unconscious, so I had no idea what kind of internal injuries he might have.

He couldn't just walk himself in this time.

That's when I was hit with the realization of something I didn't exactly want to fucking realize.

I was gonna have to take the kid to Carlisle.

_Attention all passengers, I'm gonna need you to put your seat belts on, we're getting ready for some major fucking turbulence headed our way._


	7. Assessing the Situation

**A/N: no music. *sad face*

* * *

Chapter 6 ~ "Assessing the Situation"**

**PART 1. THE SWAN**

My foot was tapping furiously on the floor board of Cullen's _"Bat Mobile"_ as I sat there biting my thumb nail while I waited for him to say something. _Anything_. Hell, I'd even settle for something smart ass at this point. I can take a lot of shit, but the silence was killing me, and honestly, he didn't look so good.

I was still high off of the adrenalin rush of fighting off four fucking scary ass looking street gang bangers and I needed some kind of interaction before I lost my damn mind.

I looked to the back seat, the boy still wasn't moving.

_This could be bad, I hope the hospital isn't too far away._

I couldn't seem to get my mind to stop spinning out of control with thoughts from all throughout my day with Cullen so far, and it wasn't making my uneasiness subside at all. No, it was making me all kinds of tied up in knots as a matter of fact. I mean, I REALLY should not be having the thoughts I was having about the person I'd been paired up to work on a professional case with.

Not good, right?

I mean, jeeze, when I'd walked into Lieutenant Muldoon's office earlier, I knew I'd be working with someone on a murder case for him, but Cullen was the _last_ person I expected to see. It hadn't helped matters when I'd felt my body temperature rise a good five degrees when I looked at him and his stupid sexy bed hair. Does he NEVER comb that shit?

_He does that shit on purpose. Ass._

The crazy thing was, I really wasn't so inclined to call him an ass anymore. Yesterday, definitely. But today… Well, not so much. Not after what he'd just done for that boy anyway.

_Maybe it was just a fluke._

I wondered who he was again, and why Cullen was so defensive of him.

Looking over at him in deep contemplation about something, my eyes wandered over his body as he gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white, and his face was all screwed up like he was really… _really_ pissed about something. He looked tired too. The same look he'd had in the elevator at the Police Precinct.

I remembered riding down in the elevator with him, watching his face as he closed his eyes and scrunched his eyebrows in frustration... and then, him catching me staring at his… oh god.

I'm so fucking obvious sometimes, but I swear, every time I'm around him I just get so caught up in his eyes, his smell, his body… Those intense looks he makes, like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders or something. I just found myself wanting those arms to just… I don't know, wrap themselves around me and then maybe he could kiss me with those absolutely adorable pouty lips of his…

_GOD. There I go again! Come back to reality Bella, it's not like he's into you... And how completely UNPROFESSIONAL is THAT anyway?_

I shook my head and laughed at myself as I looked out of the window, watching the cars pass us. Or rather, watching the cars practically stand still while we sped passed them.

One was a police cruiser, parked on the side of the street, much like the one Edw…Cullen's brother Emmett drives which reminded me of the close up and personal look I'd gotten earlier when Cullen fell over, pulling me right along with him after I'd snuck over and wanted to see what he was doing.

Holy hell when he'd pulled me down on top of him like that. I just lingered there like an idiot, feeling his body under me, pressing my chest into him... I don't know what had come over me, it just, caught me so off guard, not to mention _completely_ and _totally_ turned me on.

It also did not escape my attention, that Cullen's dick was… _quite_… huge. It scared me a little to tell you the truth. Not that it stopped me from grinding into said dick either. I am such a slut.

And I mean seriously, _who has eyes like that?_ They are SO… _Intense!_ He was seriously looking right into me like he was going to devour me or something.

_God I wish he'd devour me._

I can honestly say, I'd never felt the need to jump a man's bones like I had when I was laying on top of Edward Cullen in the middle of the street in front of the District's police department.

I was literally seconds away from crashing my lips to his when he suddenly looked like he was in pain or something, closing his eyes. His mouth kept moving like he was saying something but it made no sense to me and I don't read lips so I just sat there staring like an idiot, wondering if he really did have something wrong with him when he finally opened his eyes and shoved me off of him, yelling at me, _again_.

_Jerk._

Who does he think he is anyway? Like I had no right to investigate what that officer was stashing in Emmett's car. I'm his friend too.

And then! Calling me "Tiny Dancer" in his car like that?

I huffed through my nose thinking about that.

_His car… _

I looked in the back seat again and bit my lip a little. He was right, it _did_ look big enough for a back of the car fuck.

_Oh my god. What is WRONG with me?_

"So do you think you could do that?" He was saying, bringing me back to reality. Sort of.

"_Absooooolutely_." I said, still fantasizing about throwing him onto his back and ripping that offensive shirt off of him.

"Perfect." Then he mumbled something about not needing a confrontation after all.

"Wait, what?"

He looked at me, frustrated. "Are you not fucking listening, Swan? I said I need you to take the kid here into the emergency room for me."

_What?_

"Why? Why can't you do it? He's your…. _Whatever_."

He scowled. He seemed to do that a lot. "He's not MY anything Swan… and I just need to you to take him in, ask for Carlisle Cullen, hand him off and then you can leave. I'll wait in the parking lot for you."

I let the name he'd just rattled off to me sink in, and it somehow started to make sense why he didn't want to do it himself. "Carlisle Cullen. Don't tell me you have daddy issues too?" I looked up at him to see his reaction, and sure enough… _Pissed_.

"I don't have _fucking_… look Swan, if you can't handle…" Oh boy, there's that look in his eyes again, like he was starting to get all high and mighty with me. I reacted instinctively, deciding to give him a break. He was clearly having a rough day.

I held my hand up. "I can handle it. What's the kid's name?"

"Seth. I don't know his last name."

_Seth… why did that sound familiar?_

"How do you know him?"

"He's homeless or some shit like that. He tried to knife me a few nights ago. I fed him some dinner and sent him on his way, had him come to Carlisle for his wrist."

"He tried to knife you and you fed him. Hmmm."

I smiled, thinking of the insight he'd let me have with regards to his brother earlier. Well, I don't know that _he'd_ say he'd let me have that insight, but he sure enough made it clear that he thought very highly of his brother by mentioning how that asshole officer, Newton didn't size up to Emmett.

Now he's making sure some random kid gets taken care of by sending him to his father, who he's apparently not speaking to either, for treatment.

"How'd he hurt his wrist? Another street gang fight?" I asked.

He pressed his lips together before finally answering me. "No." Was all he said.

"Well?"

He clenched the steering wheel tight and I could see the whites of his knuckles as he readied himself to tell me. He took a deep breath and said "I sort of broke it."

"WHAT? You hurt a _child_? What's _wrong_ with you Cullen?" What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Seth is like, HALF his size!

"He was fucking holding up a restaurant Swan! Jesus, and then he pointed his gun at me, it was instinct, he's fucking lucky I didn't shoot his ass."

_Oh._

I breathed out.

What a bizarre, complex, _completely angry about life_, sweet, lonely, fucked up man he was.

We made it to the hospital and he pulled up to the entrance for me to get an orderly, who came out and put Seth on the gurney, then started pushing him inside.

Before I headed in I leaned down to the window and Cullen gave me some last minute instructions.

"Don't let the fucking nurses tell you he's busy or shit like that. Tell them you're here on behalf of his son. Don't tell them which one. They'll get him for you. When he finds out it's Seth, he'll take it from there. Then you and I need to pay a visit to a crime scene."

I nodded.

"I'll be right out here if you need anything."

"Cullen…" I had to think about whether I really wanted to go here or not. But hell, why not.

He was waiting annoyingly, for me to say something, with his eyebrows up and his forehead all scrunched like that, I just wanted to smooth the wrinkles away for him.

"Are you sure you don't wanna do this? Is it that bad that you can't be face to face with your own father?"

He didn't look away from me, but held his hand out and said "Give me your cell, Swan."

Huh?

"What? Why?"

He rolled his eyes. "Just give me the god damn phone, will ya?"

I handed it to him hesitantly, hoping he wasn't about to go off on some tangent and throw it at me or anything. He held it up and dialed a number, waiting, then his phone rang and he ended the call from my cell's end, handing it back to me.

_What was that all about?_

He frowned for a second before finally giving me that sexy half smile of his, saying "Now, I don't think the sick people in the waiting room there need to witness world war three breaking out, do you? Trust me, we have places to be, this is the quickest way out of this particular pit stop."

I opened my mouth to try and convince him otherwise, but he didn't give me a chance to do that.

He pulled off to the parking area, and I headed in to meet Daddy Carlisle, wondering what the hell kind of asshole would let his son feel like he couldn't come see him whenever he wanted, or _needed_ to.

Before I could even get to the nurses' station to ask about seeing Cullen's father, my phone buzzed and I looked at it.

The text read: _And don't sit w/the fucking sick people, tell them you'll wait in C's office_

I shook my head. _Protective much?_

Then I felt a little bit of a thud in my chest, thinking he was being protective of… me.

_Nah. He's probably just a germophobe. That would make more sense._

"May I help you?" The nurse asked, pulling my eyes away from my phone's screen.

"Yes, I… I'm here with the boy they just wheeled in, his name is Seth, I need him to see Dr. Carlisle Cullen? His son sent me."

I didn't break my gaze, holding her stare. She grimaced, but nodded and paged Dr. Cullen for me. I felt really nervous all of a sudden, waiting to meet him. I wondered what he looked like, if he was an ass like his son, or just…

_Oh. My. God._

He walked down the hallway, with his Doctor's coat whipping behind him. Blonde hair perfect_,_ skin, _perfect_… _eyes…_ wow.

He didn't look much like Edwar… Cullen. And yet, they had similarities. The same cocky smile, same look of irritation…

"Hi there." He said, holding his hand out to me. "I'm Dr. Cullen, you're here with Seth?"

His voice was just as velvety as Cullen's too.

"Miss?"

"Oh, yes, I'm um… I know your son." I said, shaking his hand. "Bella Swan."

He turned to the nurse for a moment. "Can you have them take Seth to x-ray and then put him in room 202 for me?" He asked her quietly.

The nurse acknowledged him and took care of getting Seth sorted out while Cullen's father put his free hand around my shoulder and started walking me toward the office area. That's when I noticed I was still holding his other hand, and awkwardly let it go.

My phone buzzed and I ignored it, knowing it was Cullen again. I'd buzz him back when I was done here.

"So, you know Edward?"

I bit my lip, Cullen hadn't specified if I was supposed to lie to his father or not about _which _son I knew, so I went with the truth. "Yes, we um… we're working together on a case and…"

"Ah. So you're a _P.I._ too then." He said it snidely, which I didn't like one bit. This must be part of the reason Cullen didn't want to come in.

I arched an eyebrow at his smugness. "I am actually. We were interviewing a possible witness when we saw Seth getting beat up by some other kids… your son saved him, it was quite heroic actually." I felt defensive of him suddenly; his father clearly didn't see him positively.

He laughed a little through his nose. "Yes, well, that sounds like Edward."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." I scowled at him, completely offended for Cullen.

He smiled at me. Not like a bright smile, more like one where you feel like your mom or dad is getting ready to tell you that there's no Santa Clause for the first time. "Let's just say, Edward has a way of getting all wrapped up in things he really shouldn't let himself get himself wrapped up in."

I really did not get this family. One minute they're practically at each others throats and yet, they SEEM to have soft spots for each other too. I could also see where Cullen got all of his cryptocity from.

And yes, I made that word up.

Suddenly I felt like a mama bear getting ready to maul an idiot for fucking with her baby. "I don't see how helping a boy out of a rough spot is something he SHOULDN'T get involved in Dr. Cullen, I mean, if more people did the sort of thing I witnessed your son doing today…"

He held his hand up in surrender at me and laughed a friendly laugh. "Okay, I give, he's a Good Samaritan. You clearly care about Edward; I won't beat an old horse."

_Care for Edward? _

I decided changing the subject was a better idea than exploring my feelings for Cullen. "So, do you think Seth will be alright?" I asked, swallowing the words he'd just said.

"It'll depend on his x-rays, but I'll do what I can for him. How long have you known Edward?" He asked as he led me into his office and motioned to a seat across from his desk.

Every time he said Cullen's name like that, I wanted to say it too. Hear it in my own voice, whisper it, _hum it_.

"We just met actually, I'm new in town, and we were paired up on a homicide together."

He nodded, writing in a folder on his desk. Something told me he could care less how I met his son.

My phone buzzed again and I pulled it from my pocket, holding it down low, peeking to see what he wanted.

The first text that I'd missed said: _Clock is ticking Swan. _

The second one he'd just sent said: _Crime scene to visit. Murder to solve. Helllooooo._

I laughed. _So impatient. But right._

I wiped the smile off of my face and said, very professionally, "I'm gonna have to go Dr. Cullen. But if you could…"

"Please." He said, smiling. "Call me Carlisle. Here's my card." He handed it to me and I put it in my jacket pocket. Then his smile seemed to fade a bit. "He's waiting outside isn't he?"

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just shrugged my shoulders and Carlisle got up and walked over to his window that looked out into the parking lot with a pensive look on his face.

_Not such an asshole maybe. He seems like he misses him. I really need to get the story on this family._

"Tell Edward I'll call to update him on Seth as soon as I know something." He said, and then came over to walk me to the door of his office.

"Thanks Carlisle. I know he'll appreciate that."

He laughed again. "I wouldn't be so sure Miss Swan."

I don't know what it was about non-communicable families that just made me wanna spit. When I compared these people to what Charlie and I had, it just made me sad. I made a mental note to not avoid Charlie again this week, and call him when I got home.

I left Carlisle's office and texted Cullen back to let him know I was heading out while I walked through the lobby area. He was already waiting for me outside of the double doors, standing at the passenger's side door of his car, holding it open.

_Weird._

I got in and he closed the door for me, walking around to the driver's side and easily sliding into his seat. I must have been gaping because he just laughed at me and asked "What? I have fucking manners you know."

I shook my head.

"What'd he say?" He asked.

"He said you're a stubborn ass and that you should have come in to see him your damn self." I snapped, arching an eyebrow at him.

He gave me a look and I swear I could hear him in my head saying "I don't fucking think so SWAN." and I had to laugh. "He said he'd call and update you as soon as he knows something about Seth. He was getting him x-rayed when I left."

He sucked in a deep breath and started the car up. "That kid's gonna fuck my shit up, I just know it." He said, annoyed.

I smiled internally, and thought about how hard he'd kicked ass to save Seth earlier. How, not knowing I was a black belt, he'd wanted me to stay safe in the car, and how he looked… proud? When I broke that gang banger's wrist when he'd tried to touch me.

_You're not fooling me, Cullen. _

I had to shift uneasily in my seat thinking about how turned on it had made me, probably inappropriately, to pull my gun out at the same time he had, and held it pointed at the pricks that had hurt Seth. It almost felt like we'd been doing this together for years.

"What the fuck are you thinking about?" He asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I laughed through my nose. "Nothing." I turned and looked out of the window, feeling the heat rising in my cheeks.

"You're fucking beet red Swan, and you've got a fucked up looking smile on your face. That's not _nothing_."

"Shut up Cullen." I snapped. Jesus I fucking hated him sometimes.

"Are you thinking about … _me?_" He said teasingly, curling his eyebrows in mocking curiosity. "Were you staring at my dick again Swan?"

Oh. _God_. He is _NEVER_ going to let me live that down.

I put my head down and my hand on my forehead. "Cullen, I'm fucking warning you." I said.

"Would you like a peek at Eddy Jr. Swan? Is that it?" He was laughing now. And I was getting really pissed off, but the fact that he called his dick Eddy Jr. made me laugh out loud unexpectedly.

"_Eddy Jr.? _Seriously?"

He held his hand up. "Big hands…" then he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

My mouth dropped open slightly and I furrowed my brow at him. "You're such a jerk." I told him, still smiling. Hell I couldn't fucking help myself.

"You want me."

"Fuck you."

"Right now? I don't know if we have time, but…" He started to take his jacket off and I wondered if he had some sort of brain malfunction that didn't filter things the way the rest of us did.

"No, not… For the love of Christ Cullen!"

He finally let up and just drove, smiling with that stupid smirk on his face like he'd just burned me good. Which he did. I wondered though, what he would have said if I'd taken him up on his offer.

**PART 2. CULLEN **

Call me chicken shit, I really don't fucking care. It'd been a while since Carlisle and I were face to face, and it wasn't pretty when I'd finally left his house that night. He really has a way of making one see and understand their downfalls whether they like it or not, and apparently, I have a lot.

I sat in the Vanquish waiting for The Swan, after texting her to not let the Nurses make her sweet ass wait with all the fucking sick people. I put my head back against the head rest, staring blankly out at the parking lot, watching all the people roaming to and from their cars. I remembered the last part of my last conversation with Carlisle, and how I'd finally had it with his judgmental, fucked up view of what was going on around him.

_I think I've had about enough of this Edward. You've let one death make all your decisions for you. _

His hands were flailing about, making each of his points for him.

_You've abandon what you'd worked so hard for, taken to a sub par occupation, alienated yourself from your family… it's irresponsible, and a waste of all the money we've invested in you. How fair is that to your mother and I?_

"One death." I whispered, huffing through my nose and rolling my eyes.

I grabbed the steering wheel tightly, knowing that if I'd gone into that hospital, things would have gotten really ugly, really fast.

I had to admit, I'd been surprised when The Swan had agreed to take the kid into the hospital for me, but oh so motherfucking thankful that I didn't have to go in there and ask him for a favor. He could bill me for the fucking treatment, I didn't care about that. I just didn't want to have to punch my own father in his personal place of business.

I shook my head and laughed bitterly at the memory when the buzz from my phone pulled me out of my thoughts. It was The Swan, she was done.

I pulled over to the exit doors and hopped out of the car, making my way around to the passenger's side and opening it for her. When she walked out she gave me a look like I was some fucking nut case or something, but got in the damn car, regardless.

She was still staring at me when I got into my side. "What? I have fucking manners you know?" What the fuck did she think, I was born in a god damn barn or something?

When our bantering led to sexual innuendos I decided it might be a good idea to stop fucking talking before I put foot in my mouth again… or my dick in her mouth, one of those.

The second of which I would not personally find to be such a bad thing.

The Swan had a nice mouth, and I could only imagine what it would feel like wrapped around my dick. Her hot little tongue trailing up and down it, sucking.

_Fuck._

I looked over at her, she was definitely blushing again.

_God I fucking love it when she blushes. _

_Point to Cullen this match considering she didn't have a good come back to my offer of sex. God damn do I wish she'd taken me up on that offer._

I couldn't stop laughing and she was trying really hard not to, which was making me laugh even more.

"You know" She started. "As much as I enjoy your crass attitude and sexy scrunched up eyebrows when you're pissed off at something, smiling looks much better on you Cullen, you should try it more often."

"As long as you keep blushing like that, Swan, I'll be smiling 'till the fucking cows come home."

I don't know where the fuck that comment came from. I couldn't help myself though, when The Swan blushes, I just wanna fucking pick her tiny ass up, put her in my jacket pocket and take her home with me. Then maybe fuck the shit out of her a few times a night.

I shook my head trying to focus on not thinking about sex with The Swan so god damn much.

She looked contemplative for a minute and then narrowed her eyes at me and said "Did we just have a moment here?" Motioning between us.

_A moment? I'd like a little more than a fucking moment of your time Swan, trust me._

"Nah, I'm sure it's just exhaustion on my part." I winked at her.

She rolled her eyes and called me a jerk again and I had to admit, I was starting to kinda like hearing her call me that. Weird, I know.

Her stomach growled loudly and I cocked an eyebrow at her as she put her hands on her abdomen. "I'm so freaking hungry, think we could grab something to eat before the crime scene?"

Now, normally I'd fucking say no to that shit, but since the body was already over at the morgue, it's not like The Swan was gonna toss her cookies or anything, so I said "Sure, where?"

She closed her eyes and made a humming sound that made me wanna fucking pull over right there, recline her seat and show her just how much fucking room this car had after all.

"There's this new place called The Workshop, I hear it's fuck-awesome and that their sous chef is _really_ hot. You can even pay to sit in the kitchen and watch him work." She smiled when she said it, which bothered the fuck out of me for some reason. It didn't matter anyway, there was no way we were eating there.

"I don't fucking think so Swan."

She looked at me, scowling. "Why?"

I hesitated, 'cause I wasn't gonna fucking re-hash that shit with her. "Let's just say a previous client owns the place, and it wouldn't be pretty."

She huffed and threw herself against the seat like a god damn three year old and crossed her arms. "Okay fine, where then?"

I didn't have to think long. I knew just the dive.

When we got there, The Swan looked con-fucking-fused, and it made me wanna cup my hands around her face and smooth the wrinkles over her eyes with my thumbs, just so she wouldn't have that fucking crease between her eyebrows anymore.

Not that it wasn't sexy as hell when she did that shit.

"This? You brought me to a _dive_? Over… The Workshop?"

"Swan." I got as serious as the fucking Pope on Catholic Holidays. "You do NOT diss the sandwich joint. This place…" I waved to the small building. "Is the stuff legendary sandwiches are made of, my friend. You won't be disappointed, trust me."

I put my hand on the small of her back to lead her up the steps and I swear I heard her intake a gasp of air while her body stiffened a little.

I smiled at the effect I clearly had on her and we headed in for a little slice of Heaven.

When I walked up to the counter my favorite cashier was doing some money counting. "Hey Rhodes!" I nodded.

She jumped and dropped all her fucking money all over the counter top and started picking it up, then looked up and saw me, planting a huge fucking smile on her face.

"Edward! Hey!" She blushed a little. "How're you doing? Haven't seen you in a while."

"Been busy as shit Rhodes. Otherwise you know I'd be here every god damn day just to see your pretty face… and eat your… sandwiches." I winked at her. She loved that shit.

She laughed nervously and then choked out "You um… want your regular?"

I leaned against the counter onto my elbows. "Yeah, and hey…" I motioned with my index finger for her to come closer. Rhodes loved it when I did the finger curling. She leaned in and I whispered in her cute little ear. "Get my friend here one of your Club Stacks Rhodes, you know, the ones only you can make… I fucking love your club stacks Rhodes, they give me a hard on every god damn time I eat one." I pulled back and smiled at her.

She swallowed. "N… no problem Edward." She stuttered and giggled, then she headed back to the kitchen to start making the sandwiches. I turned around to go find a place to sit and The Swan was staring at me, again, with her eyebrows shot up in the air, and her mouth hanging open slightly.

"Swan, you really need to just relax a little ya know. All that…" I made a swirly motion around her face. "Makes me really fucking uncomfortable." I walked passed her to my favorite table in the joint and sat down, kicking my feet up onto the chair opposite me.

As she sat down in the chair next to my feet, our drinks arrived.

The server was biting her lip and trying really fucking hard not to laugh. "Tami, thanks babe. I'm fucking dying of thirst today." I took the drinks and set one down in front of The Swan. "You okay with Diet Dr. Pepper Swan? Or are you more of a Coca Cola girl?"

"This is perfect actually. Thanks." She said to me and then looked up to Tami. "Could I get some onion rings and a bottle of ketchup?"

"Sure thing sweetie, we happen to make the best damn onion rings this side of the US… be right back." She gave me one last smile before going to put the O-rings order in and I had to ask The Swan. "Fried foods? That's not very lady like."

She eyed me. _Ruh roe. _"LADY like? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know, girls and all their…" I made quotation marks in the air when I said "fucking weight issues."

"Cullen, first of all, I could give a shit about my weight, I've never really had a problem in that area… and _secondly_…" She took a sip of her drink, placing her lips around the straw very carefully as she did it. I think Eddy Jr. wanted desperately to come out and play with those lips because he was a knock knock knockin' on Heaven's door all of a sudden.

_Fuck._

"I fucking LOVE onion rings." She finally finished. Something about the way she said that shit had me adjusting my position in my chair and wishing to fucking God that she would elaborate on that statement.

She smirked at me and then narrowed her eyes, thinking.

_Here is comes, Cullen… prepare for detonation._

"So Cullen."

_Five… four… three… two…_

"Why does your dad think P.I.'s are beneath you?"

_Bingo!_

"And why aren't you speaking to him? He seems… nice _enough_."

_Double bingo!_

"Any more questions, Swan?" I laughed and she just raised her eyebrows at me. Waiting. _Persistent much?_

Our food came out and I was glad because I needed the distraction from The Swan's glare. "Thanks Tami." I smiled as she put our plates down in front of us and Tami gave me a knowing look that annoyed the fuck out of me.

What? I can't eat lunch with a woman and have it not be a sexual relationship? Sheesh.

I picked up my Reuben and went to take a bite, but just as I was about to, I noticed The Swan was STILL fucking staring at me, so I put the fucking sandwich down, licking my lips in anxious anticipation of that fucker and looked up at her.

I leaned onto my elbows and clasped my hands together while I answered her.

"Carlisle's expectations for Em and me were set a long god damn time ago, Swan. Ever since we played cops and robbers when we were younger, we both knew we wanted to be the cops in that scenario. We used to fight over who'd get to be the cop and more often than not, ended up playing cops and cops." She laughed and I couldn't help but smile, but then, in continuing the conversation, the smile was gone pretty quickly.

"Dad's precious fucking bubble burst the day I skipped my Academy Graduation for more pressing matters. Anything else I decided to do… whether that was…" I waved my hand at nothing. "bagging groceries at the local fucking Safeway, or… becoming a physicist… would have disappointed him. P.I. work is just the bitter tasting cherry on top of a very fucked up hot fudge sundae for him."

She furrowed her brow at that.

"You know… _almost there _but NOT… quite… good enough_."_

I grimaced and her face fell a little. I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I told you I fucking hate pity looks, right? Well seeing a pity look, for me, on The Swan's face? Tenfold baby… ten… fucking… fold.

"Cullen…" she started, but I held a hand up to her.

"And I think I can tell by the way you said he seemed nice _enough,_ that you could probably just fucking TASTE the hypocrisy in his overtly professional, yet highly fucking annoying sweet, sappy, cares about everyone in the world except those who matter most attitude while you were there."

I picked up my Reuben again and shoved half of it into my mouth so I'd have an excuse to stop fucking talking for a while.

She took a sip of her soda and looked away.

Part of me felt like an idiot spewing all that shit about Carlisle like that. I mean all I'd had to do was fucking make some shit up or something. I truly don't know how she does this shit. She's a sneaky woman, that's all I'm sayin'.

I gulped down half of my diet Dr. P. after swallowing the Reuben and nodded to her. "You're turn, Swan. Why'd you leave a no name, God only knows where it's located, town like Forks, Washington, to come all the fucking way over here to work in one of the busiest cities in all of the US?"

She popped an onion ring into her mouth and licked the grease off of her lips and I thought I'd jump across the table and help her out with that when she finally answered, pulling me out of my molestation fantasy.

"You pretty much answered your own question Cullen." She laughed, and I smiled because like I said, The Swan smiling? Perfection.

"Couldn't handle the confinement huh?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"HA! And you say _I'm _cryptic." I mocked her and she rolled her eyes at me, but couldn't stifle a giggle. She knew I was right.

We made a little more small talk like that while we ate. Nothing too heavy came up again thank God, because in all fucking honesty, I wasn't ready to deal with that shit while this case was looming. That shit's distracting.

I inhaled the rest of my Rueben and The Swan seemed to really enjoy her Club… and the fucking onion rings. I've never seen a woman eat like she did, and for some reason it made my fucking dick twitch with every bite she took of the rings, drenched in ketchup, she'd lick that shit up like it was made up of the elixir of life my friends. This did nothing to help my fantasies of her mouth encompassing the monster in my fucking pants.

I checked my watch. "Let's go." I said, taking one last sip of my drink before trashing the remnants of my plate.

"Thanks!" She yelled back to the girls behind the counter as we made our way out. "It was delicious."

"No problem!" Tami yelled back to her. "Bye Edward." She waved at me and nodded.

"Next time Tami!"

"Any friend of Edwards gets the royal treatment here hon… come back any time." Rhodes advised The Swan and she laughed when she answered her. "Definitely."

I waved to them and they giggled as we left the restaurant. They were crazy bitches those two, but my stomach would never be the same if they weren't around.

I chose going to the crime scene first for a couple of reasons. One, I wasn't looking forward to looking at Lauren's dead, deformed body, and since she was already at the morgue, I knew that wouldn't need to happen today. And two, I'd still get first crack at seeing her body _tomorrow_, since that's always the last fucking priority for some god damn reason with these pricks, and they wouldn't visit her for another couple of days.

I was a little fucking nervous to tell you the truth. I didn't know how much of shit like this The Swan had ever encountered, so I tried prepping her before we got there.

"You ever work a crime scene, Swan?" I asked her.

She twisted her mouth a little and looked out of her window. "Not, technically… I mean, I did virtual scenes, yeah, but… my dad never let me on the real ones."

_So I wasn't too far off with the Daddy's little girl thing after all._

She seemed embarrassed. I wasn't gonna drive a nail into her chest for Christ's sake. I just let it slide, and said "Well, there's no actual fucking body there today, so you've got that goin' for ya. But there'll be an outline, and blood, and probably a stench." I reached over to the glove box and opened it, pulling out some Vaseline.

"Here." I handed it to her and she looked at it like I'd just handed her a bowl of piss and asked her to drink it.

"Wipe some under your nose, it'll help with the smell. Don't be stingy."

"Vaseline." She said it, questioning my fucking knowledge of the crime scene world.

"Yeah." I insisted. "It absorbs the stench so it doesn't make it to your system."

She hesitantly did as I asked her to and I smirked a little, but not so much that she could see while she checked herself in the mirror behind the visor.

"Why aren't you doing it?" She asked while she slathered it on.

"Swan, I've been doing this shit for almost five years, I'm fucking immune to shit like that."

She rolled her eyes at me.

"And if you end up thinking you're gonna puke anyway, don't do it near the Vanquish."

She snorted, put one her hand to her chest and the other to her forehead, like she was feeling for a fever or some shit like that. "Oh, Cullen, your caring and generosity makes my heart just melt away."

I laughed and shook my head at her. "I'm fucking serious Swan. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get puke smell out of a car?"

She made a fucked up sound with her throat and said "Yeah… Gotcha." Just a little fucking annoyed I have to say. I'd feel bad if I didn't already know how fucking hard it is to get the puke smell out of a car. It really fucking sucks driving around with that shit stinking up your batmobile.

When we got out of the car I noticed right away that fucking Newton was already there, talking with Muldoon away from the rest of the detectives working the place.

_Fuck._

Whoever made him a god damn detective needed to have an anal cavity removed.

Seriously.

"Let's head this way." I said to The Swan. A few police officers passed us on the way and gave her some funny looks but she didn't seem to notice. I smirked and nodded to them as we crossed paths.

When we made it back behind the Monument, to the actual scene, I held up the yellow police tape for her to go under and led her away from all the fuck-heads that like to call themselves police officers.

"Keep your head down, look for anything that might be lying around in the grass or bushes, you never know what they might have missed on their first sweep." I told her, and she did it. I had to admit, she didn't fuck around, she was a fast learner. She'd probably be a force to reckon with some day if I wasn't careful.

"Hmmm." I heard her humming to herself.

"What?"

She bent down, feeling the grass blades. "She was dragged. And the grass is flat, so she must have already been dead, or at least passed out when they brought her here. Just seems odd."

I bent down with her and pointed some stains on the grass out. "And blood. So she was definitely dead already." I creased my eyebrows. Why the fuck bring her here? I pocketed that question away for later and got up to walk around a bit.

She narrowed her eyes at something and I followed her stare, trying to see what she was seeing. "Fingernail." She said, putting her index finger down onto it, and picking it up gently. "Fake."

"Lauren did use fake fingernails." I said matter of factly. The Swan looked at me questioningly. "How would you know that?"

_For one thing, she bit her god damn nails too fucking much to ever keep something like that on them._

_"_I've known Lauren a long time, Swan, I just know. I'm a detective, I pick up on shit." _That'll hold her._

I moved away from her, picked a spot in the middle of the scene area and took in a nice long, deep breath, letting my focus remain on the ground for a minute, trying to let my peripheral vision take in any shit that might be out of the norm.

I caught a glimpse of a reflection off of something to my left and looked over in that general direction, squinting my eyes when I was practically fucking blinded by the sun shining off of an object not too far away. I followed the trail and when I came up on it, I saw it was a cell phone.

_You've got to be fucking kidding me. No motherfucking way did they miss this shit._

I bent down to pick it up with my jacket sleeve pulled down, so I wouldn't get fucking fingerprints on it.

"You're not taking that, are you?" The Swan asked.

_Busted._

I stood back up before touching it. "Damn fucking straight I'm taking it, Swan. Do you know what kind of evidence we could find on this thing?" She was so 'green'… no idea how this shit works in the real world.

"Cullen, I'm not gonna be part of stealing evidence." She put her hands up in the air and turned on her heels, starting to walk off.

She'd probably fucking tell Muldoon, who'd then have me laid up in some damn prison by sundown if she did. I grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"Swan, I know you think you'd be doing the great city of Washington motherfucking DC a service by telling Muldoon that I took this shit, but you don't know these assholes. They ignore shit, turn their backs on evidence that's right in front of their faces, I've seen it, witnessed it, and been a part of that fuckery Swan, if this gets turned over to them, it'll never see the light of day, hell, they'll probably throw it in the god damn trash can on their way to fucking Dunkin' Donuts later and call it a day."

Fucking babbling, I really gotta stop that shit.

She was eying me with that look again, like I'd sincerely lost my fucking mind. And I wasn't too sure she was wrong in that aspect.

"Cullen, I was just going to the car. If I don't SEE you taking the evidence, I don't have to TELL anyone that you took the evidence."

_Oh. _

"Well, why didn't you just fucking say so Swan?" I said, letting go of her arm finally. She walked a little ahead of me and I finished picking up the cell phone and dropped it into my jacket pocket.

We marched back around to the front of the Monument and were about to get out of there when I heard the all too familiar Lieutenant calling out.

"Cullen! I wondered if you'd be showing up!"

I breathed in long and deep and The Swan got all kinds of fucking nervous on me.

_Please do not lose your shit Swan. Not now._

I turned around. "Lieutenant, fancy seeing you here." I laughed. Newton was looking over at The Swan, and I swear to fucking God if he didn't stop eye fucking her I was gonna shove my foot up his ass. Fine or no fine.

He furrowed his brow at her and pointed, starting to say something when the Lieutenant broke in.

"Find anything interesting Cullen? We could always use another set of eyes."

"Oh you mean on top of the Zero sets of eyes you already have?"

Newton pulled his gaze away from The Swan finally and got in my face. "You better watch your fucking mouth Cullen, you never know who you might just piss on enough that they decide to piss back… maybe even on your brother." He smiled smugly. That shit with the cocaine earlier was probably not the first time he'd tried to set Em up. I needed to get to the bottom of that shit before he actually pulled something that worked.

I gave him a good and concerned look and asked him "Ever get rid of that itching powder in your bag from earlier Newton? That shit's dangerous if it gets into the undies your momma packed for you."

He pushed me up against the Vanquish and I silently thought to myself that he better not have fucking put a mark on her because his ass was mine if he did.

I laughed at him.

"Was that supposed to intimidate me Newton? Fucking pussy. Why don't you take a real swing so I can show you what a real fist feels like in your really ugly face?"

The Swan had her hand on the hood of the car, watching us, like she was ready to jump in if it got out of hand and I swear I had to swallow the laughter I felt rising up into my chest. I mean, yeah, she'd held my fist back earlier in the Lieutenant's office, but getting in between two guys the size of Newton and me? Was she crazy?

Muldoon piped up, getting in between us.

"Now now boys, we don't need to this to get ugly. Newton, Cullen here is just an angry young man, but he's doing the job I asked him to do, remember that." He put a fatherly hand on Newton's shoulder, and Newton backed off, turning and stalking off to his cruiser. Muldoon eyed me and then nodded, following off behind Newton.

I called after them in my best and loudest Tommy Lee Jones voice from _The Fugitive_…. "Let that be a lesson to you, boys and girls. Don't ever argue with the big dog, because the big dog is always right!"

Muldoon stopped and turned, looking like he was holding something back. He pointed to me and said "You're lucky you're not on this force Cullen."

I laughed at him. "I think you've got that backwards, Lieutenant." I kept eye contact. The last thing I was gonna fucking do was back down from his pansy ass.

He finally turned again and caught up with Newton, and I got into the Vanquish, starting her up and revving her engine a little too hard.

The Swan had already joined me in the front seat. "You really do have anger issues, don't you?"

"Don't even get me started, Swan."

She noticed some of the other officers giggling outside of the car and pursed her lips. "The Vaseline doesn't help with nausea, does it?"

I started the Vanquish up. "Nope."

She pulled the visor down and opened the mirror, removing the glossy shit off of her upper lip. "Ass."

I stifled a bit of a laugh as I padded my pocket, feeling Lauren's cell phone there, and I looked at my watch.

"SHIT."

"What's wrong?"

"I fucking forgot I was supposed to meet Jazz at the Ram's Head… we can probably catch him at his place before he leaves if we hurry up, you got time?"

"Who's Jazz?"

_Who's Jazz…_

"He's only the smartest motherfucker you'll ever meet Swan. Military background, intel… The fucking Green Beret's got nothing on this guy. He can help hack into Lauren's phone too, another reason to catch him at home."

"Well far be it for me to pass up the opportunity to meet the smartest motherfucker ever. Let's go."

I laughed at her and we left. I reigned in the need to slap her hand away as she fucked with my stations on the radio again.

"So what's your assessment?"

"Huh?"

"Your assessment, of the case so far, what is it?"

She furrowed her eyebrows a little, and pursed her lips, twisting them in that cute, sexy pouty way she does, and I smiled, because Eddy Jr. really liked her lips a lot and I was not gonna deny Eddy Jr. a new friend, damn it.

"Well, I'm wondering why we found the cell phone. I mean, it was pretty out in the open, it's not like it was hidden by any brush or anything, so I don't get why the other officers hadn't found it yet. And the way Muldoon acted just now… it was weird. It's like…" She turned away and shook her head.

"What?" I asked, seeing if she'd come to the same conclusion I had already.

"It's like he's setting you up Cullen. I don't know why I think it, but I do. Gut reaction I guess. I mean, the guy hates you, it vibrates off of him, but for some reason he stops Newton from tearing into you? It doesn't make sense."

Ladies and gentlemen, the _real_ Miss Bella Swan, sexy AND smart.

I smiled again.

"What?" She asked.

"Good job Swan. You might just make a great detective one day." I teased.

She narrowed her eyes and said "Fuck you." But she was definitely playing this time.

"Okay, so we hit Jazz up, find out what's on this phone, and what they want us to hear, and then we'll go from there."

"Sounds like a plan." She said, and then laid her head back and closed her eyes. The instinct to reach over and brush her cheek with the back of my hand was really fucking strong. It was bugging the shit out of me, and I didn't know how to react to either the instinct to touch her OR the fact that it was bugging me, so I turned the volume of the radio up some and concentrated on the fucking road.

When we got to Jazz's I pulled the key out from under his designated rock and let us in.

Jazz doesn't live a flashy life style, but his house was the fucking bomb. He made good money doing the shit he does, so he'd had a personal decorator come in and paint, make window fucking hangings and shit, and there wasn't a piece of furniture that didn't have leather incorporated into it somehow.

"Wow." Was all The Swan could muster. And I had to agree with her. "Yeah. I know."

I lead her down the stairs to Jazzman's basement computer headquarters. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she took in all of his fuck-awesome equipment and nodded in approval.

I called out to him just as I remembered how he liked to work most days.

"Hey J… Shit!" I covered The Swan's eyes, but not fast enough. Jazz swung his big over sized leather office chair around and The Swan gasped and took him in, in all his naked glory, legs spread eagle and leaning back with his hands on the arm rests.

He smiled when he saw us there, taking The Swan in and said "Sup guys?"

"Jesus Jazz! Get some god damn clothes on will ya!" I shouted, while The Swan was fighting my fingers that were over her eyes to get a better look of the Texas Stallion.

"Hey man, it's not like I knew you were comin', I got no clothes DOWN here… what happened to five o'clock at the Ram's Head?"

I grabbed a dirty pair of sweat pants off of his stairs and threw them at him. "I should have fucking called Jazz, I'm sorry, I completely fucking forgot you like to let the boys breathe and shit when you're working. Something came up; we need you to hack a phone for us."

Just as The Swan was winning her fight against my hand, Jazz got his sweats on and came over to introduce himself to her.

"Hi little lady, I'm Jasper, Jasper Whitlock, pleased to meet ya." He put his hand out to shake hers and she took it. "B… Bella. Bella Swan." She smiled one really goofy smile and I saw the blush starting to form on her cheeks.

_My blush._

Oh _brother_, she was actually falling for the Texas charm? Seriously?

I rolled my eyes at Jazz and he smiled, narrowing his eyes at me. "Bella huh? Well that's a mighty nice name ya got there. Isn't that a nice name Edward?" He was goading me. Fuckin' asshole.

"Yeah, great. Hey, can you hack this shit or not Jazz." I handed him the phone and he looked at it for just a second before saying "abso-fucking-lutely". He flipped it up into the air and caught it, then sat down with it and attached it to some fucking device that started the computer up that sat next to it.

Numbers and characters started spilling across the screen and Jazz leaned back in his chair to look at me again, smirking. "So, where'd you say you were from again, Bella?"

"She didn't." I told him, eying his smug ass.

"Are you sure she didn't say where she was from?" He smiled.

The Swan was watching us intently as the silent exchange between us became more and more tense.

"Jasper?"

"Mmm?" He said, pulling his eyes away from mine and looking at The Swan.

"Have you been hacking in to my computer system?"

I choked, and Jazz laughed a huge motherfucking belly laugh. "She's smart Cullen, you need to keep her." He punched me in the leg and went back to checking on the cell phone as I tried to gain my composure from The Swan calling us out like that.

Damn, she's fucking too smart for her own good. I'm gonna need to keep an eye on her.

She arched an eyebrow at me and put her hands on her hips like she did before when she was scolding me for insinuating she wouldn't understand mine and Emmett's situation.

I shrugged and moved over behind Jazz to watch him work.

"That's illegal Cullen."

"I don't know what you're talking about Swan." I said, diverting my eyes to the computer screen.

"You could have just asked you know." She advised me, getting closer so she could break out her bad-ass for me.

"I didn't know you then." I said, keeping my eyes on Jazz's work.

"And now?" She pushed, and I let out a long ass sarcastic breath of air.

_Okay Swan, just remember, you asked for it_

I straightened myself upright and turned around to face her, crossing my arms, stalking toward her with purpose, so as to cause her to start backing away a bit.

"And now…" I said, eying her. "I think I'm getting a head ache from my new partner who can't seem to keep her fucking mouth shut most of the time…"

I took another step as she reached behind herself to make sure she wasn't gonna run into anything this time.

"…with whom I'm supposed to fucking solve a murder case with, where in we may or may not be getting set up for a fall by a dirty cop, and an asshat of a Lieutenant."

I leaned in as I took another step, uncrossing my arms and putting them on her shoulders while she fell back into the lazy boy sitting there. As loomed over her, I bent down to her ear.

"…not to mention, I'm sporting a permanent fucking hard on for said partner because not only can she not keep her mouth shut, but she happens to be quite god damn sexy at the same time that she's annoying as hell…"

I hadn't planned on smelling her hair, I swear, but that fucking Lavender shampoo shit she used pulled me in. I grazed my nose along her collar bone, then decided I better fucking pull out now before I actually followed through with the fuckery my traitor dick was just aching for me to do, which was kick the Jazzman out of his god damn basement and fuck her on top of all his high end computer equipment.

Why the fuck do I even open my mouth sometimes? I mean seriously, where the hell did that shit come from?

I blame The Swan and all of her annoying, sexy, evil seductress ways.

Her eyes were closed when I could see her face again. He jaw was clenching and her hands were gripping the sides of the chair, and she held that fucking bottom lip of hers in between her teeth while she tried to control her breathing.

I pushed myself off of the chair and turned around, leaving her there to her dirty little thoughts as I stood behind Jazz to watch him work again. He was practically finished with it already, the fucking genius. He kept his eyes on the screen, tapping away at his keyboard, when he said "I can leave for a little while if you'd like."

"Fuck you Jazz." I told him, checking over my shoulder to make sure The Swan was okay after I'd just word fucked her. She was staring at me with the weirdest fucking look on her face, and I could have sworn it was… _Nah._

I smiled and turned back to Jazz who said "Eureka!" He took the phone off of the cradle it was in and handed it back to me.

"You fucking rock Jazz. Thanks man." I pushed a button and then hit a key that turned the speaker phone on and we listened to Lauren's last cell phone voice mail messages.

"Swan!" I snapped my fingers at her. "Pay attention."

The first two were just Lauren's boss at the paper asking her about her leads. The third was her mother asking if she was gonna make it by this weekend.

_Afraid not mom._

The fourth message we hit the jackpot and I grabbed some paper and a pen off of Jazz's desk.

"_I know you've been fucking my husband you whore. Stay. Away. From my family."_

"Was that the…?" I started.

"Mayor's… wife?" The Swan ended.

Jazz laughed. "Oh shit, you're fucking kidding me. The Mayor was doing Lauren?"

The Swan and I looked at each other for a few minutes it felt like. Both of us probably thinking the same shit. This was not good. We needed to talk to the Mayor's wife. I didn't even know if the Mayor KNEW she'd called Lauren.

The comment he made in the alley earlier today suddenly made a little more sense though.

_Maybe he did know. Maybe she'd told him she'd kill Lauren if he didn't stop seeing her. Shit._

"We need to see the Mayor." I said.

"He's never gonna see you Cullen, maybe I can try. He knows me." She had a point, she could easily say that she needed to discuss her previous case with him and then bam… throw in some questions about his dead lover. Easy peazy.

"Let's do it. Jazz, thanks man. I'll throw the cost for this one in on the uh…" I glanced at The Swan uneasily and then back to Jazz. "Other shit you're working on."

"OH, dude! The plates!" He said, running back to his printer and pulling a sheet of paper off. He handed it to me. "The plates themselves belong to Maryland, but the number… originated from a prison over in Seattle. Someone had to do a lot of fucking blow jobs to get someone to fake that shit for them. You can get ten years for falsifying plates. Took coordination too, someone had to get access to the numbering system in Washington state, and then get someone willing to print it in Maryland. Not to mention getting it registered to a car without raising any red flags anywhere."

"Or maybe someone burned the red flags when they were raised." I said quietly.

I looked at the piece of paper and raked my hands through my hair. The Swan waited patiently as I folded the paper up and stuffed it into my jacket pocket and thanked Jazz for the info.

As we got in to the Vanquish she was still quiet.

She didn't even fuck with the knobs on my radio.

You'd think I'd have been relishing in the peace and fucking quiet, but ten minutes in to the silence and I was getting annoyed as hell.

"Just fucking ask me Swan."

She laughed a little hysterically, and then started babbling. It was kinda nice to not be the babbler for once, I gotta tell ya.

"Which question Cullen? Do you mean, like, why were you having him do a background check on me? Or how you two know this Lauren person? Why do so many people seem to have it out for you? OH! Or maybe why is it that your brother is on your shit list, but not enough to pass up throwing down with Newton over him? Maybe something about the plates he ran that you two were talking about?"

_Attention all K-Mart shoppers, the flood gates have opened, please make your way to the nearest exit… immediately._

I opened my mouth to say something smart but she cut me off, turning her body toward me and holding her hand up, motioning for me to shut the fuck up.

"Or maybe I should start with the hard on comment you made back there." Her eyebrow raised at me as she bore a hole into my skull staring at me the way she was.

My mouth hung open.

I certainly wasn't expecting THAT question. Shit, I knew spewing all that fuckery inside Jazz's house would be a bad idea. I couldn't fucking stop myself though.

Maybe if I distracted her with answers to some of the other shit she'd thrown out there, she'd forget about that last one.

I watched the road as I told her "I did a background check on you because you intimidated the shit out of me that first day you walked into my office and ruined my photos in that sexy ass leather outfit you had on. I wanted to know who I was dealing with. Jazz and I know Lauren because she's a reporter, and we both have done…" I coughed "…work for her in the past. People have it out for me Swan, because I do my fucking job well, and that usually means someone else ISN'T doing their job very well…."

I took a breather as I thought for a second before answering the next part. "My brother isn't exactly on my shit list as much as he's on my 'He really needs to be knocked down a peg or two' list, and the plates belong to someone who's tried to shoot me and then broke into my apartment within two days of each other."

I took a deep breath. That shit was a lot of fucking information.

She thought about what I'd said and then asked "Is that the same person that you think photo'd the Jessica file? The one that broke in?"

_Touchy fucking subject Swan._

I swallowed and then all I gave her was a "Yeah." As I scowled at the stop light we were stuck at for the time being.

"You're not gonna tell me about her are you?" She jibed.

_She is so fucking pushy._

In all honesty, it wasn't so much that I didn't WANT to talk to her about Jessica, so much as it was that I hadn't really spoken about her out loud in so long, I just didn't know how to fucking do it. It was almost like a taboo.

"Nope." I said.

"Friend?" She asked almost immediately.

I sighed a heavy ass sigh and answered her. "Yeah."

"Girlfriend?"

I looked at her. What, was she fucking jealous? "No." I said, scrunching my face up at her.

She bit her lip and my eyes diverted straight to them. I raked my hand over my mouth and jaw, she really needed to reign in her sex goddessness when I'm all fucking riled up like this.

I forced my eyes back to the road when the light turned green.

"Why did Emmett say you were opening old wounds?"

I clenched my teeth together as I pulled up next to her old beat up piece of shit truck and stopped the car. I threw her in to Park and turned to The Swan, pursing my lips and letting out a breath of air through my nose. I really didn't want to fucking go there with her right now.

"Swan."

"Yeah?"

"You seriously have got to be the nosiest, mouthiest, most stubborn…_annoying_…" I shut my eyes for just a second from the frustration of her non-stop fucking questions. When I opened them again I looked into her smoldering eyes. "…sexiest woman I have ever had the pleasure of arguing with, you know that?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, confused no doubt by the shit I'd just said. Then she just kept right on going. "I just don't understand why you…"

My hand flew to her neck, wrapping itself around it and I pulled her into me. When our noses were about an inch away from each other, I stopped, putting my other hand on the side of her face, thumbing her lips that just wouldn't stop moving.

_She'll think you're an ass Cullen._

_Don't care._

Her lips parted a little bit and I looked down at them. Debating, contemplating the consequences of sucking on that bottom lip of hers.

_She's your professional partner, idiot. This is not a good idea._

_Point taken._

"Is there any point in time when you just stop fucking talking Swan?" I asked her.

_Eddy Jr. says go for it._

_Fuck it._

"I…" she started, but I didn't give her a chance to say anything else; I just, pulled her into me the rest of the way, closing my eyes and placing my lips on hers.

She didn't pull back like I thought she would.

_That's a green light, right? Not pulling back is good._

I breathed her in. I don't know if it was that fucking Lavender shampoo, or the feel of her skin under my fingers, or the fact that her lips parted just a little when I kissed her like that, but I suddenly couldn't fucking think straight.

My head got a little light headed, and I swear to fucking god I think I felt… _Goose Bumps_.

I pushed my tongue a little into her parted lips and she didn't struggle against it as I entered her mouth, finding her tongue and wrestling with it, tasting her.

_God she tastes good… feels good… keep going._

Her hands found their way to my hair and tugged a little, turning me right the fuck on. That's when I moved my hand down to her leg, feeling my way slowly up over her knee, her thigh, to her hips, and grasping the fabric of her clothing there, wishing to god that I could rip that shit off of her.

A raspy groan escaped my throat and The Swan shifted a little, pulling herself up and against me so her breasts were pushed up into my chest and fuck if I didn't think I was gonna be able to resist the urge to pull her over on top of my lap and grind my fucking dick into her.

That might very possibly hurt her though, since I was about as hard as the god damn diamonds found in those fucking mines in South Africa and shit. Not to mention, I felt like, one sudden move and Eddy Jr. was gonna break like the Hoover Dam.

Her breathing hitched and she sounded a little shaky as we broke away from the kiss for some air and I looked into her eyes again, confused as fuck at what the hell had just happened here.

_Seriously. What the fuck just happened here?_

I could feel my heart racing and I was breathing really fucking heavy, I gotta say. That kiss was not what I was fucking expecting. I mean, I don't know what the fuck I was expecting, but that wasn't it.

We literally just sat there, dumbfounded and confused, staring at each other until a horn sounded loudly from behind the Vanquish and we both jumped.

"Shit." I said, because quite fucking honestly, I didn't know what the fuck else to say.

The Swan swallowed and grabbed her things. "I'm gonna just…" She pointed with her thumb toward the outside world and I nodded.

_Fucking idiot, say something._

"We'll go see the Mayor first thing." My mouth wasn't working right at all apparently.

_Good job, dumb ass. Give him a prize Johnny, a pretty new shovel to go along with all of his bull shit!_

"Yeah, um… should I meet you? At your office, maybe?" She was playing it off because she thinks I regret that shit.

_She definitely thinks you're an ass._

"Sure… say… nine o'clock?"

_You are such a jackass._

"Okay." She said, smiling awkwardly as she exited the Vanquish and got into her truck a little hastily.

I waited for her to head down the road before I banged my head against the steering wheel, cursing myself for that shit.

_What the fuck where you thinking? Idiot._

_You're barking up the wrong god damn banana tree, cause I sure as shit don't know, but that my friend, was one hot kiss._

I sat there for another few minutes and then decided to run by the office before heading home so I could check messages and then maybe kick myself in the balls for being such a fucking ass just now with The Swan.

My points of contact were all still in place and I had to wonder why. If the Red Ferrari perp had the balls to break into my apartment, why wouldn't he spend time at the office too? Unless he'd found what he needed already.

I pushed play on the answering machine and turned on the lights. I noticed the light to the dark room was glowing and remembered I'd never turned it off from the other day.

_Fucking electric bill is gonna kick your ass this month Cullen._

I couldn't help but think how, ever since The god damn Swan had entered my world, all kinds of fucked up shit was happening and I didn't like it. Not one fucking bit.

I went to turn the light off in the dark room when I saw the negatives on the floor from the Mayor's love nest photo session.

_Shit._

With all the shit that had been going on, and the spinning my head had been doing, it completely slipped my mind that even though the pictures were fucked, I could still use the negatives to re-print them.

I picked them up off of the floor and thumbed them a little. I wasn't exactly sure if I was ready to see Lauren's giggling face appear out of nowhere onto paper now that I knew she was dead, and how she died, and what she fucking looked like after said death.

I put them away for another day. It wasn't important anymore anyway. The Mayor's wife clearly knew about it, knew who Lauren was and quite possibly did something about it.

"…_And if you could please call your mother every once in a while, that'd be really nice."_

The answering machine was playing a message from my dad that I'd just caught the end of. I wasn't surprised he'd called the office, why would he want to talk live and call the cell for Christ's sake?

I re-wound the message and played it again.

"_Hello Edward," _

He paused a good fifteen seconds before continuing.

"_this is your father,"_

Well that explained it. He'd said I was no son of his if I recalled correctly, the last time we spoke.

"…_I thought I'd call and let you know that your friend Seth is fine, we re-set the cast and I put him in a smaller one this time, it should heal rather quickly actually. He's quite the spit fire, that one…" _

He laughed and I remembered when he used to call me that when I was younger. Back when I wasn't disappointing him every time I turned around.

"…_um, anyway… just… letting you know. Your friend Bella was very nice…"_

"Duh." I said to the machine while I flipped through some mail.

"…_oh… and if you could…" _

I stopped and erased it; I'd already heard that part.

That fucking kid better get his act together and quit hanging out with gang bangers or I might just have to kick his ass myself.

I sat down in my desk chair and grabbed the Patron Silver bottle from the shelf behind me along with a shot glass. I set the glass down, put my arm on my desk, my chin on my forearm and poured the liquor slowly, watching it with wonderment.

Once the glass was full, I set the bottle down next to it and just stared at my shot.

I wondered about everything from throughout the day, got out a piece of paper and a pen and started writing shit down:

_Jessica…_

_Who is Red Ferrari guy?_

_Lauren's phone out in open_

_Mayor's wife knew it was Lauren… when did she know? Before or after the pics?_

_The Mayor? Suspicious… _

_What does Newton have to do with any of it?_

_Cocaine in Emmett's cruiser_

_Why did you kiss The Swan?_

I circled that one… I'd have to come back to that.

Staring at the piece of paper, I put the shot glass to my lips, tilted my head back and let the beautiful, clear poison burn on its way down my throat.

I eyed the notes and tried to piece together what might have something to do with the other.

_There could be multiple fuckeries going on here, Cullen._

I poured another shot and drank it.

_God damn The Swan's got some soft lips._

I closed my eyes and leaned onto my elbows, pressing the shot glass against my forehead, thinking about the knots that had formed in my stomach as I kissed her earlier, and wondering how the fuck I was gonna act tomorrow when she showed up here at nine.

_Probably best to act like nothing happened. She'll just be uncomfortable if you bring that shit up._

By the time I'd downed my seventh shot, maybe the eighth, hell I don't know, who's really counting anyway? I'd come up with theories ranging from The Swan driving the Red Ferrari…

_That'd be JUST like her, trying to piss me off_…

To The Swan having a secret affair with Newton…

_No wonder he was EYE fucking her at the crime scene today…_

To The Mayor paying The Swan to keep me busy all day so he could fuck the Red Ferrari guy, kill Lauren, and pay Newton and Muldoon off so they wouldn't look in to Jessica's case ever again… that one deserved another shot.

_She is one sneaky little bitch, that Swan._

I knew I needed to put the Patron away when I theorized that The Swan was secretly working with my father to drive me so fucking crazy that I finally quit my profession to go back to being a rule following, 'yes man' police officer of the law… I put my hand to my forehead in salute.

_JUST… LIKE… EMMETT…_

I pronounced the T in Emmett precisely and stumbled my way over to the couch in the front of my office space, where I decided to lay down, just for a little while.

The last thing I remembered was having visions swirl through my head of The Swan doing a strip tease out of her sexy leather outfit while singing "Fever" to me as she did it.

And I was pretty fucking happy.


	8. I See Dead People

**A/N: Gravity by John Mayer**

* * *

**Chapter 7 ~ "I See Dead People"**

**PART 1. THE SWAN**

Holy. _Shit_. I am so not understanding what just happened.

I drove home with shaky hands that night. I mean, fucking Cullen… _kissed me_. He fucking kissed me.

_Did I say that already?_

I did some deep breathing at an attempt to get the shakes to go away that I had over this, but it wasn't working.

I was definitely a little scared when he'd pulled me to him with his hand on the back of my neck, but honestly, I just thought he was gonna give a good stern talking too about asking him so many questions like he did back at Jasper's house.

_Jasper's house_… God. When he said that stuff about having a permanent hard on… did he say it to fuck with me? Because he always seems to be fucking with me.

His words ran through my head again and gave me shivers.

"…_I'm sporting a permanent fucking hard on for said partner because not only can she not keep her mouth shut, but she happens to be quite God damn sexy at the same time that she's annoying as hell…"_

Or did he say it because… _nah._

But he DID kiss me just now…

I was so confused… and sexually charged, and highly curious.

I couldn't help it with the questions about him and his family, there's just too much to him… So much I need to know. To understand. And I don't even know why. He's just so…

_INFURIATING_.

_But then..._ When he put his lips on mine…

My fingers instinctively moved to my mouth, touching them, where his mouth had been not ten minutes ago.

God.

I don't think I've ever reacted to a kiss the way I reacted when Cullen invaded my mouth tonight. My world spun, my body heated, and it was pretty much all I could do to stop from just… pushing him into his steering column and jumping his bones.

Then his hand… oh holy hell, his _fingers_, sliding up my leg.

I started breathing a little heavier again, thinking about the jolts of electricity that had started making their way through my whole body when his finger just… barely grazed my…

_Shit._

I honestly could have kissed his lips all night like that… and then some.

_Like maybe Eddy Jr._

Until that fucking horn honked that is.

I closed my eyes for a moment and shook my head again.

To think what might have happened if… I mean, I'm _really_ curious now as to what Eddy Jr. looks like. I eyed him, felt him, fantasized about him, now I felt like I really need to meet him. In person. I think that would be nice. Don't you?

But, alas, nothing did happen.

And that's probably a good thing, right? I mean, we're professional partners in a crime investigation. Exploring… _that_ would just… what? Cloud our vision, right?

_Right?_

Someone help me out here.

_Who am I talking to?_

Not to mention, I had missed my opportunity to ask Cullen what the hell that kiss was all about after we were so rudely interrupted, and pulled away from each other.

_Way to take the bull by the horns Swan._

Okay, what? Now I'm calling _MYSELF '_The Swan'?

I pulled up to my place and parked, made my way up to the condo I was staying in, threw my back pack down somewhere and fell face first into my large sectional sofa, unmoving. I didn't even bother changing into my PJs.

I didn't sleep good that night needless to say.

Thoughts of Cullen's hands in more places than I cared to admit to were swirling through my mind and I just could not get rid of the butterflies… no… _pterodactyls_ flying around in my stomach.

Really big, oversized pterodactyls.

I was already showered and dressed by six am. I wasn't supposed to be meeting Cullen until nine, so I paced a little.

_And paced, and paced, and paced. _

I cleaned the kitchen counter, scrubbed the sink, vacuumed the whole damn condo, made my bed and arranged my clothes by season and then color in the closet.

Then it was SEVEN am.

_Fuck._

I left, tying my hair back in a pony tail and shoving some bobby pins in it to keep my bangs out of my face today.

I just drove right over to Cullen's office and sat there… waiting.

I saw his _"Bat Mobile" _sitting out front and wondered if he was already up there, or if he'd stayed overnight, but if I went up now… I'd look just a tad anxious, right?

I looked at my watch… seven fifteen.

Yeah, I'd definitely look like a retard showing up almost two hours early.

So I waited.

And I must have dozed off, because when I woke up, it was eight fifty.

_Thank GOD. _

I wiped the slobber from my chin, checked myself in the rear view mirror, grabbed my bag and headed up. Only he wasn't answering his door when I got to his office.

"Cullen! Hello! I saw your car downstairs, I know you're there!"

I banged and banged and yelled, and banged some more, until I was exhausted from all of the yelling and banging.

I'd had it, this guy, I swear... if he was in there, laughing at me, so _help me God!_

I checked out the lock on his office door.

He had a Jako Electro-Magnetic door lock. Top of the line.

_Good Lord, he's paranoid._

Lucky for me, and unlucky for him, Charlie had taught me all about door locks and that even the most expensive ones are able to be picked.

I smiled, oh so glad I'd put the bobby pins in this morning.

The first thing I did was look for the floor's electrical box. I'd never get in if the electric was still on. I disarmed that, and then headed back to Cullen's office door.

It was a little tough, I won't lie. It had been a while since I'd done this. I used to be able to pick a lock blind folded. Seriously. Jake used to train me all the time and we'd time each other.

Geeky? Yes. I have no qualms with admitting my geekiness.

Don't ask me why it was so important to us then, because I really don't know, it was just fun, but I was glad I knew this skill today.

After about five minutes and a broken hair pin, I was in. I went back to the electrical box and re-armed it. When I swung Cullen's door open, I almost laughed when I saw him passed out on his couch.

Okay I laughed. A little.

He was still dressed in the clothes he'd had on yesterday, with one foot on the floor, the other was stretched out, hanging over the arm rest on one end. One arm was over his face, and the other was still holding a bottle of Patron, which luckily was setting on the floor upright and still had at least a little bit of liquor still in it.

His Colt was on his belly, pointing right toward Eddy Jr… and that was just not okay with me. I gingerly lifted it and set it on his desk.

I shook my head. This guy… has serious issues.

I bent down onto my knees next to him and looked at his beautiful, scruffy face, that was half covered by his arm, and I wanted to brush that messy ass hair of his out of it.

Okay I DID brush the hair out of it. But damn, he's so…

I sighed.

"Edward." I whispered, placing my hand on his arm.

_Why am I calling him Edward? _

Aside from the fact that saying his actual name instead of just 'Cullen' sounded nicer than anything I think I'd ever said in my entire life… I decided to go with – 'if I was to call him 'Cullen' he might get spooked and throttle me… accidentally'. Yeah, that sounds good.

"Edward." I whispered again, and this time he showed at least a little sign of consciousness. "Mmmmm?" He hummed roughly, and I smiled, because that sound coming from his mouth… gave me shivers.

I couldn't resist trailing a finger up his arm, following the pathway straight to his ear, and feathering him behind it.

He smiled, which made me smile again.

"You have to get up." I said as softly as I could. Trying to keep him calm.

"No." He mumbled. "Staying here… with you." And then he rolled over, curling an arm around me, pulling me into him, and grinding his… oh my God.

Did I move? Hell no.

Any sudden move and he could freak out, maybe start, flailing his arms, and that would be scary. I've seen him mad when he's awake, I'd hate to have him freak out not knowing it was just me.

Right?

He put his nose into my hair like he'd done at Jasper's house the day before and smelled long and hard. It sent shivers up my spine and I closed my eyes wishing it to never end. "Heaven." He said, with a sexy, raspy, throaty voice. Or at least I thought that was what he said.

I laughed. "What?"

"You smell like Heaven. Don't act like you don't know that."

_Was he talking to me? _

I turned my head a little and teased him "Are you _dreaming_ about me?"

"Mmmmmmmmm." He hummed again, thenhe murmured "Did I just say that out loud?"

_Definitely dreaming._

"Uh… yeah… Cullen? You're sleeping… come on, wake up."

He didn't move and I sat up.

"Cullen." I said.

I shook him.

**PART 2. CULLEN**

"_Edward." She sang my name softly, sensually. Her hot, sweet breath was coating my neck. I liked it. A whole fucking hell of a lot. The sound of my name emitting off of her lips was like Heaven right here in my own office. I didn't want to hear anyone else ever say my name again, only her._

"_Mmmmm?" I answered, not wanting her hands to leave my body. A single, soft finger trailed up my arm and then she tickled me, just behind my ear. _

_I smiled. That shit felt soooooo good._

"_You have to get up." She whispered in my ear. It was like hearing fucking wind chimes for Christ's sake._

"_No… staying here… with you." I rolled over and snuggled up to her, pulling her soft body into mine, my dick was hard and I rubbed it up against her. _

_I wanted to do a hell of a lot more than rub it against her._

_I breathed in her scent and nuzzled into her hair as I did it. _

_Heaven._

_She giggled. "What?" _

_You smell like Heaven, don't act like you don't know that._

"_Are you dreaming about me?"_

_I breathed her in again. "Mmmmmmm" _

_Wait. Did I just say that out loud?_

_She laughed again. "Uh… yeah. Cullen? You're sleeping… come on, wake up." She said._

_That wasn't right. What happened to Edward?_

"Cullen." She said it more sternly. Shaking me.

_Ouch… _

"Fuck… head hurting… need aspirin." I squinted, blocking the brightness from the overhead light that was glaring in my fucking face.

_Oh my fucking God someone stab my head with an ice pick._

I didn't normally get hangovers with Patron, but it's not like I'd eaten dinner last night, so I shouldn't be surprised by this shit. That little nugget of knowledge didn't help the banging in my fucking head though.

"I'll get you some, but we're late, so you need to get your act together. Jesus how much did you _drink_ last night?" She'd picked the bottle up off of the floor and headed down the short hallway to the bathroom.

The Swan… she was here. _What the fuck? Was she just tickling my ear? _

"Swan, were you just…"

"Hmmm?" She looked at me all nonchalantly. _Nah._

"Forget it."

_Definitely dreaming._

I tried to look at the clock on the wall, but there were three of them and they all said a different time on them.

"What the fuck time is it… and how'd you get in here?"

She came back holding out a cup of water and some head ache remedy to me. "It's nine thirty and I picked your lock, I was banging for twenty minutes, didn't you hear me?"

I sat up. _Slowly_. I looked her hand that was holding the aspirin. "Two more." I groaned, taking them and the water from her. She huffed and went back for more and I blurry eye watched her walk away, smiling as best I could.

_So fucking sexy when she's annoyed._

When she awarded me my additional pain alleviation, I popped them into my mouth, then I chugged the water.

The water felt like a rain in the desert after years of drought.

_Ahhhh._

Then I realized what she'd said. "You picked _my_ locks? Jesus, Swan." My dick made to move and I honestly couldn't fucking believe how the hell he could possibly be getting hard when I had a God damn pain in my head like a stake was being driven through it.

She rolled her eyes. "It wasn't that hard to tell you the truth, I was a little disappointed."

I laughed. Well. I tried to laugh. Every centimeter that my body moved, or even thought about moving, my head vibrated with the pain of a thousand fucking little munchkins banging their doldrums into it.

"There's a remedy for that you know? Want me to make it for ya?"

"Remedies are a dime a fucking dozen Swan. I'm sure I've tried them all at one point or another. None of them work."

"This one's _special_, I learned it on an Indian reservation, they take their remedies _very_… seriously. And… I can get everything I need at the store, so let's go." Then she twisted her mouth a little. "Are you wearing that? Or do we need to run by your place so you can…" She waved her hands around me to point out the obvious. I looked like hell.

_Well I don't fucking think so. _I one-eyed her. "Swan, I am always fucking prepared. Hungover or not."

I got up and made my way to the closet where my extra set of clothes hung and changed in the bathroom, splashing water on my face to try and wake myself up out of the stupor I was still in.

I chanced a look in the mirror and thought about that fucking kiss again from last night.

"You've gotta fucking say something Cullen, get it over with, just… fucking do it asshole."

_Yeah. _

Walking back out to the main office area, I finished buttoning up my shirt and opened my mouth to say something to her about it. What? I don't fucking know, but I needed to break the ice.

That's when my thoughts were interrupted by her sitting at my desk, fucking fingering through my shit. _Again_.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked, making my way over to my desk and snatching Jessica's manila folder out from under her gaze.

"I was just… I wanted to help." She said, a little taken aback by my abrasiveness.

I put the folder in the filing cabinet and locked it. "If I wanted your fucking help Swan, I'd have asked for it." Okay, that was a _little bit _out of line. But hell, I didn't need another God damn person telling me how much of a fucking conspiracy theorist I am.

She shot up out of my chair and grabbed her back pack, slinging it over her shoulder. "Whatever, let's go." She headed out and I grabbed my gun off of my desk, following her as I packed it into the back of my jeans.

_Fuck me._

"Swan." Catching up to her, I grabbed her arm and she spun around on me, eying my hand that was holding on to her with her jaw tightened and her brow furrowed. I let the fuck go, trust me.

Letting out a breath, I pursed my lips, thinking. And I fucking hate thinking on a hangover.

This asinine partner shit?

_For. The. Fucking. Birds_.

Seriously, I'm not fucking Bruce Willis from _Moonlighting _for Christ's sake.

"Look Swan, this..." I motioned between us. "Partner thing, it's just not me. Okay? Let's just… get to the Mayor's, ask some nice questions, find the fuck out what's going on with wifey-poo, close this shit up and then we can get on with our own lives, as per usual. Deal?"

Her steeliness softened a little but she was still pretty peeved, and then she finally said "Yeah, as per usual. Deal." She turned and continued down the stairs ahead of me and I felt like an idiot saying that shit.

When we got downstairs I headed for the Vanquish, but she didn't. "Swan, I'm not…"

"I'll drive myself today Cullen. I'll meet you at the Mayor's." And then she was already in her truck, before I could even remind her that driving two cars, well, one car, and one piece of shit, would be a whole hell of a lot worse for the environment than taking just one.

_Definitely thinks you're an ass Cullen. Good job!_

I watched her leave and then shoved my sorry ass into the Vanquish and headed over to deal with the mystery of the fuckery that was unfolding.

I arrived first, and I wondered if The Swan got lost or some shit like that, so I texted her ass.

_Where the fuck are you Swan? Time's a wastin._

She didn't text me back, and time really was a wastin', so I headed up to the front door myself, only I wasn't the only person visiting our friendly neighborhood possible murder suspect slash murder victim today.

The DC police were already on the scene, including fucking Emmett, and I didn't get a very good God damn feeling about that shit as I made my way up the entry way to find a place to sit and wait for The Swan.

I could see the Mayor, talking with Emmett and a couple of other cops. Muldoon wasn't on the scene today, and neither was Newton. My foot bounced on the ground, debating whether or not to just walk over there and but in when my phone buzzed and I pulled it out to see who was calling.

_Finally_, she fucking replied.

The text read: _Be there in less than 5._

And she was, with my fucking hangover remedy. Fuck. Now I really felt like an ass.

"Thanks." I said, taking it from her as she shoved it into my hand. A little fucking pissy if I do say so myself. She just shrugged and walked ahead of me, flashing her credentials to the police guarding the Mayor's private home. I followed, flashing my own and we both took in the sight around us.

The bedroom off of the main entryway was taped, and if you peeked hard enough, which I did, and it made my fucking head hurt even that much more, you could see bare feet on the floor, facing upward.

_Another fucking body._

What we were about to find out, was that the Mayor's wife, the woman who'd left the threatening message on Lauren's cell phone? She'd fucking killed herself in the wee hours of the morning.

Hanged herself.

Left a note too. It was pretty simple, a handwriting expert apparently confirmed that it was her handwriting already. In a fucking nutshell, it said that she couldn't let the woman who'd stolen her husband from her get away with it, and that she couldn't bear living without him.

_So take the easy way out, huh?_

I grimaced. It made sense I suppose, and the comment the Mayor had made in the alley way the day before added up too.

Everything seemed to be tied up nice and neat like a pretty Christmas present with a perfect little fucking bow on top.

So why did I get the feeling something was off?

"Something stinks." I said absently.

"It's not that bad, Cullen, just drink it."

"No, Swan, I mean something stinks about this _situation_." I explained, chugging the awful tasting concoction she'd given me and then tossing the cup in the trash.

"Shit. What the fuck was in that Swan? It tastes like ass."

She smirked and nodded at someone, who I then saw was Em across the room. _Yay._ Then she answered me without even looking at me, before heading over to see him.

"Chocolate Milk, Vinegar, and a _whole_ lotta Ex-Lax."

_What?_

"Did you just fucking say Ex-Lax Swan?"

I didn't see her face as she continued to make her way over to Emmett, hugging his big ass, and I didn't exactly have time either, because that's about when I felt the sudden urge to bury myself head up into the closest toilet available.

It wasn't pretty folks, I'm not gonna lie, although I'm sparing you the details, let's just say my ass was molested in ways that even I am ashamed to admit to and that the Mayor's bathroom may never be the same again.

So now, my hangover was gone, but I was having a hard time walking normally after that fuckery.

I found The Swan… and Emmett, outside, chatting it up like it was fucking New Year's Eve in Disneyland or some shit like that, and made my way over to them.

She might have said she was trying really fucking hard not to laugh when she saw me, but I knew better. She wasn't trying.

"That was low, Swan." I said to her, and she arched an eyebrow. "Pay backs are a motherfucker, huh Cullen?"

"Pay backs? All I fucking did was have you put Vaseline on your God damn lips, not try to _disem-fucking-bowel_ you."

Emmett leaned back and laughed his ass off. "Excellent Bells. I don't know what he did to deserve that shit, but Edward needs someone to keep him in line."

I sneered at him. "You're one to talk."

"Hey…" He put his hand up like he was taking an oath. "I… am a law abiding citizen who tries hard _not_ to attract attention from revenge seeking small people." He nodded sideways to The Swan and she said "Haaaay!"

_A little too law abiding if you ask me._

"Ya got that right Mr. _I am the law_." I did a Sylvester Stallone impersonation for him and he shot back "Yeah, well someone has to be _the law _when their brother thinks he's Steven Seagal."

I crinkled my brow at him and made a disgusted look. "UGH! Jesus Em… seriously? Steven fucking Seagal? You know I hate his pansy ass…"

"Oh yeah Edward? Who would you compare yourself to then?" He crossed his arms and waited. The Swan was watching our tennis match with utter curiosity and I just knew this shit would come back to bite me in the ass later.

"Well I was kinda hoping you'd go with you know… _Paul Newman_ or… hell I'd even settle for _Jack Nicholson_."

He laughed again, hard. "Yeah… next thing you know, you'll be changing your office door's name plate to Sherlock Holmes and hiring yourself a Watson."

The Swan put her hand over her mouth, trying to hide her giggle but I fucking saw that shit anyway.

"Downey Jr. or Langella?" I asked, not letting on which I preferred, because then he'd just fucking pick the other one to piss me off.

He eyed me. "Downey Jr."

I thought about it for a minute and nodded. "I'm okay with that."

It was the closest thing to a civilized conversation Emmett and I'd had in one long motherfucking time, so I threw him a bone.

"And speaking of which, you might wanna run those Ferrari plates again, for other states, my resource found out they originated somewhere in Washington State."

He got all kinds of serous on me then. "How the fuck did he…?"

"Em… I don't ask, and I don't wanna fucking know. Just… check it out."

He nodded and said "Thanks."

"Whatever, maybe if the wonderful world that is the DCPD's fucking computer system was higher tech you'd have found that shit out sooner."

He scowled and turned to The Swan, deciding to ignore me. "So you'll be there right?" He nodded sideways to me. "Bring the cranky guy too."

"Sure thing, thanks again Em."

"Bring the cranky guy where?" I asked, but neither one of them answered me. "Wait, am I the cranky guy?" What the fuck was he inviting her too and why was he telling her to bring me _with_ her, wherever it was.

Emmett laughed and clapped me on the back before he left, talking into his walkie and waved to us over his shoulder. "See ya there Bells!" Then he turned and winked at her as he smiled his smug ass at me, showing all his teeth.

God damn I fucking hate him sometimes.

"What the fuck was that all about?" I asked The Swan, who was still ignoring me, walking to her piece of shit truck. I can take a lot of shit, but the silent treatment from The Swan was not one of those fucking things.

"Jesus Swan! Fuck, what do you want from me? A best God damn friend? I'm not a fucking…" I raked my hands through my hair. "I'm a sick, twisted, fucked in the head idiot who says a lot of the wrong God damn things a lot of the God damn time. You must know this by now."

She didn't light up.

"Jessica's file… it's… just a sensitive spot okay, it was nothing fucking personal."

She finally stopped and turned to me, arms crossed, scowl intact.

_Sexy as hell._

I was fucking pissed. At _her_, at _me_, at _Emmett_… _Shit_. Who _wasn't _I pissed at?

I couldn't pull my eyes from hers.

"Consider us even Cullen." Then it was over all of a sudden. Her face changed into a less crinkly one and she said "Your brother's getting promoted in a couple of weeks. To Detective, and there's gonna be a big party for him at the Ram's Head. He wants you to go." She started walking again.

I laughed bitterly at that. "I'm not going to his fucking… wait. He's getting promoted?" That was a laugh and a fucking half, considering the Lieutenant had just tried to set Em up by having Newton put cocaine in his fucking cruiser.

_Unless Newton was working on his own._

"Yeah, they told him today. He's pretty stoked about it."

Today.

Right after Lauren is found dead, and the Mayor's wife kills herself.

Uh huh.

"Did he happen to fucking mention WHY they're promoting him?"

She snorted through her nose and made a disgusted look at me. "Can't you just be happy for him Cullen? Jeeze." She shook her head in disappointment. Like I was completely IN-fucking-CAPABLE of being happy for my own God damn brother. It wasn't that… it was…

"Swan. I'm happy, okay… I'm jumping for fucking joy… good for fucking Emmett… I just don't think this shit adds up."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "That's two."

"What?"

"That's two times today you've said that, what is with you? You can't just accept what people tell you? You have to believe the worst in everyone?"

She was delving a little too deep for me. Forget about the fact that I've been fucking doing this shit basically since I was fucking fifteen. Why did she always have to fucking look further into shit that was right there at the surface?

Oh yeah. Right. _Psychology major._

_Annoying yet sexy, seducing psychology major._

"Swan, look, I'm just saying…" I sighed. I just couldn't do this shit anymore today. So I backed off. For now. "Fuck it, when's the party?" I raked my hands through my hair and cursed myself for agreeing to that shit. No good could come of it.

She gave me the deets and I told her I'd be there. Hell it was a ways off, who knew what kind of excuses I could come up with between now and then. "You sure? Because it's really important to him." She was looking at me like a school marm waiting for her student to make a promise to do his fucking home work when he got home.

"Swan, when the fuck did you become my family's God damn mediator?"

She just laughed at my ass and then changed the subject. "So what now? Now that…" She motioned to the house. "You know."

Thank God, because I fucking hate emotional confrontations people.

Seriously.

"Now…" I cocked an eyebrow. "We visit the morgue."

I caught up to where she was and she continued with me. "The morgue? I thought, well isn't that it? It's over right? Wife finds out husband is cheating, wife threatens girlfriend, wife kills said girlfriend and then can't live with the awful crime she's committed and kills herself."

_Ah, my beautiful Swan, so smart and yet, so naïve._

"Swan, something definitely does not fucking feel right about this shit, I know you don't wanna here it, but it's true… my gut? Is rarely wrong. We're going to the morgue." She looked doubtful at me, so I smiled and put my hands on her shoulders, turning her to me. "Humor me."

She gave in and we headed off, but not before I told her "We should drop your fucking piece of shit off at my office an go in one car Swan, all you're doing by driving that thing around is giving some poor schmuck second hand carbon monoxide poisoning or some shit like that."

She didn't like that but she obliged me, and we met back in front of my office building, then she hopped into the bat mobile and we were off.

Reaching for the radio, The Swan's hand stopped in mid-stride when I told her "Swan, if you fucking touch my knobs, I can't be held responsible for the consequences following said knob grabbing."

She laughed and completely fucking turned that shit into a sexual innuendo on me.

Don't look at me like that, I was really talking about knobs.

I'm not kidding.

"Oh yeah?" She started. "Well I don't remember the last time anyone complained about me handling their _knobs_, Cullen."

Her eyes dipped in between my legs and Eddy Jr. nudged me on.

Hell I fucking went with that shit, I am not the guy who backs off from a sexually charged debate of sorts.

"Swan, are you insinuating that you've touched _many_ knobs in your time?" I asked her, looking mock shocked at her from the corner of my eye.

She smiled "Well, Cullen, that's none of your fucking business, now is it… but for the record, I think my knob touching abilities would be considered part of the _quality_ family, not _quantity_."

Shit, was she seriously telling me she has mad dick stroking skills?

Hell if they were anything like her tongue wrestling skills… I had to shift in my seat and I adjusted the air to distract myself from that line of thinking.

The Swan sat there, smug as shit and I guess I had to award a point to her for 'best use of fucking sexual implications'.

I knew, that if I was thinking about that kiss last night again, she probably was too. And I was.

A couple of times I thought about opening my mouth and saying something witty or, smart, or hell, just _something_, but I was fucking speechless. And that shit doesn't happen very fucking often, my friend.

"Cullen."

_Oh boy. _

"Yeah?"

"About that kiss last night."

_Ohhhhhhh boy._

I cleared my throat. "Swan, I'm…"

"I'm thinking it was a bad idea and I'm sorry I let it happen." She blurted out.

_Huh?_

I felt my forehead crease with confusion and I wondered why the fuck she would say it wasn't a good idea… I mean, that kiss was fucking phenomenal. I shit you not.

"Any particular reason you're insulting my fucking kissing abilities, Swan?" I pulled off the exit ramp onto the side street that would lead us to the morgue wondering what had brought this on. I mean, the conversation definitely needed to fucking happen, I just… didn't expect it to happen quite like this.

"I just don't think it was very professional of us, you know? We're supposed to be solving this case, and it might, I don't know, cloud our judgments." She kinda mumbled after that. "Or something."

Where the fuck does she come up with this shit?

_Same place you do, ass-wipe._

Plus, she probably had a point.

"If that's what you want." I stated, curling my eyebrows at her, trying to let her know I wasn't gonna fucking pull any shit she didn't want me to pull, even though I'd _really_ like to pull some more shit with her.

"Isn't it what _you_ want?"

"Swan."

"Yeah?"

_Not the time Cullen._

We were there anyway, at our destination, and I remembered how she'd never been to a crime scene before, so I changed the subject, and asked "You ever visit a dead body in a morgue, Swan?" I was a little weary that she was gonna fucking puke, or faint, or both.

"Once." She said solemnly, averting her eyes. I didn't push it. The look on her face said back the fuck off, so I did.

"Let's go."

After we parked, we got out and headed inside.

The security guy at the front desk recognized me from other jobs and nodded. "Got an appointment today Cullen?" He asked.

"Not today, Frank. Just need to see a lady about a dead body, shouldn't take long."

He dialed back to the head examiner's office and then waved for us to head back down the hallway leading to the embalming rooms. "Room four." He said, and I told him "Thanks."

The buzzer on the door made The Swan jump a little and I wondered what the fuck had her so jittery.

"You okay?" I asked, leading her down the hall.

"Fine" She answered, but her body language was all wrong. She held her arms against her body and was rigid, like she was waiting for one of the bodies to come to life suddenly, get up off of their gurneys, and attack us or something.

I didn't like this Swan, I suddenly felt the urgent need to get her mind off of whatever fucked up shit was going on in her head, so I pulled the first quote out of my ass that I could think of as we passed a room that had a large man being worked on.

It just so happened to be Jessie Eisenberg from Zombieland. "The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties." I nodded into the room so she'd see what I was talking about.

It was a morbidly obese man, and he'd probably had a heart attack or twelve in his life time. No doubt died from heart fucking failure finally.

She looked at me and scowled. "What?"

"Poor fat bastard." I said, shaking my head.

"Cullen, is there something wrong with you?"

I laughed. "Probably."

We were at our room and I waved to Jaime, my contact here over the years and head examiner, who was standing over a body, dressed in full protective garb, talking into her tape recorder. She nodded and I motioned for The Swan to take a seat while Jaime finished up her schpeal.

That's when I noticed, it was Lauren's dead body she was standing over.

I'd seen dead people before, hell some of them I even knew, but this was, fucking disturbing as shit.

"The victim is five foot four inches, Caucasian, dark hair, dark…" She hesitated. "Eyes. Laceration of the throat by 4.5 cm barbed wire, amateur grade, eyes… gouged, tongue missing, no internal damage to any organs…" She took a breather and then continued. "No sexual abuse of any kind…" She stopped the recorder and looked at the body, studying it, then set the recorder down and looked at me with a faint smile.

The Swan didn't look too good, I was pretty sure that was why Jaime stopped. Didn't want to keep us here any longer than we needed to be. And also, probably didn't want her puking on her pristine floors.

"You know what? I can do that later. I take it you want a peek before DCPD, Edward?"

"You know me too well, Jaime." I said, smirking.

She nodded toward The Swan and asked "Who's your new friend?"

The Swan put her hand out. "Bella Swan, nice to meet you."

Jaime held her hands up, showing her the blood that was still on her gloves and smiled. "Nice to meet you too sweetie. Help yourselves to the gowns and shit. I'll be back in five."

Then she left us there alone. I didn't waste time. I knew the drill.

I picked up a gown and threw it to The Swan, then put one on myself, along with the gloves and started taking a good look at Lauren without actually seeing her.

The Swan didn't do much but follow me around the table and look at what I was doing, and trying desperately NOT to look at Lauren's dead lifeless form before us.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm seeing if anything seems odd here Swan… haven't you ever inspected a body before? I thought you said…"

"I said I'd visited a dead body… not that I'd inspected it."

Then I remembered. Her mom was dead. She'd lost her when she was younger, and I couldn't quite put together why the fuck anyone would allow a kid into a morgue to see a dead body.

I frowned. "I'm sorry." Was all I could muster, because that shit was fucked up and I really was sorry that she'd had to see her own mother's dead God damn body while she was still in elementary school.

"You know, it helps to breathe through your mouth, and think about something else in the back of your head."

"Well, what do you think about?"

I smiled. "You, dancing to Elvis."

She made one of those disgusted grunts through her nose at me. "You're _such_ a pig."

"Yes, but you kissed me."

"Cullen… you… kissed ME, remember?"

"Whatever gets you through the day, Swan."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "So, what exactly are you looking for?"

"Well I…" I picked up Lauren's hand, which was already discolored, and looked at it closely. "…try to look at the details. I mean, we already know _how_ she died…" I eyed her fingernails, just to make sure they were the fake ass kind. "…now we just need to know when, where and by _who_."

Definitely not fake. But…

"Don't we already know who…?" She started. I cut her off.

"See this?" I showed her Lauren's fingernails as I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my fingernail clippers. The Swan's eyebrows shot up and she looked between me and the clippers then back to me.

"What? I like clean fucking fingernails, Swan. Sue me."

She laughed a little and shook her head at me. "You are such a freak."

I went back to scraping skin. "Whoever it was, is missing a fucking layer of skin somewhere, Lauren apparently didn't go down easily."

_Good for her._

I grabbed a baggie off of Jaime's desk and put the clippers in it. "Cullen, they already know the Mayor's wife…"

I pocketed the baggie just as Jaime was entering back into the room. With fucking Muldoon, stopping The Swan from finishing her thought.

"Look who's visiting!" She said all sarcastically excited and shit. God I love that woman.

I rested Lauren's hand back down next to her.

"Muldoon, what's up?"

"Why are you here, Cullen." He stated.

"I'm trying to solve your case Lieutenant." I told him, as though he didn't know that.

He made a face at me. "Cullen, I'm fully aware you were at the Mayor's this morning, so I know that you know his wife killed herself quite literally admitted in her note that she'd killed the victim."

Jaime's eyebrow arched as she made eye contact with me and I was pretty sure she was thinking the same thing I was.

_Bull. Shit._

"Uuuuuh huuuuuh…" I dragged it out.

"So… again… Why. Are. You. Here."

"Because. I'm. Fucking. Thorough." I said it back to him the same way he did. Like an ass.

He looked as though he was gonna blow a fucking gasket. I was waiting for it, completely preparing a retort already, but then his whole demeanor changed on me, catching me right the fuck off guard.

"Well, you don't need too!" He smiled, clapping his hands together.

He smiled?

"I'm actually glad I caught you both here, saves me a phone call!"

He laughed this time, and now I was just getting creeped out a little bit.

"The Mayor would like to throw a congratulatory celebration for you both, in _thanks_ for your help with this horrible situation."

HUH?

"The Mayor… wants to thank… _me_." I said, a little dumbfounded to tell you the truth.

"YES YES! He's quite pleased with how this was closed so fast. He's of course _very_ devastated you know. I mean." He nudged me with his elbow. "Who knew his wife was such a nut case!"

The Swan and I were both in a state of utter fucking confusion and were pretty much left standing there like idiots as the Lieutenant left saying he'd send us all the details tonight via email.

When Jaime came back in she seemed annoyed. "Asshole."

I nodded in agreement, still not quite able to speak yet. The Swan was beginning to show signs of elation, and I wondered what the fuck that was all about.

"Well, I guess I'm wrapping this one up. Sorry you wasted your time, Edward." She winked at me, because she knew me. It wasn't all that big of a waste, I still had the skin fragments from under Lauren's fingernails to get analyzed.

If they came back as the wife's, then great, but if not…

_Yeah Cullen, what then? You know how these guys work._

I didn't have an answer yet, but I would.

"Yeah… um… we should go." I said, motioning for The Swan to follow suit. I took the garb and gloves off and waved to Jaime as she packed her shit up. "Thanks babe." I winked and she rolled her eyes. "Whatever Edward, call if you need anything." Then she gave me her hard-ass sexy eye-fuck look and added "Anything."

_Crazy sexy bitch._

As we left the morgue, The Swan was practically bouncy and shit. It was a little annoying to be honest with you.

It had been a long God damn day. I was fucking tired and I really just wanted to go home, get some clean clothes on, maybe take a shower… but The Swan was pent up about something.

"Assessment Swan." I stated as we approached the Vanquish.

"Huh?"

"_Assessment_. What do you think?"

She sighed, I don't think she liked my new game I decided I was playing with her.

"Well, I don't know that there's anything TOO think, I mean, We've got a murder, and we've got a suicide, with a note, confessing to the murder. The handwriting was confirmed to be the wife's, and I'm pretty sure that skin sample you scraped it gonna come back as the hers. What else do you need Cullen?"

"You always go with what the facts show you?"

She scowled at me, offended, but she needed to fucking think outside the box.

"Well, passion makes people do really crazy things, Cullen, there's all kinds of case history describing people who were of smaller stature taking one people twice their size and killing them with their bare hands… it's not unbelievable you know."

"Crimes of passion are usually, knifings…" I paused, "…gun shots, things like that. The shit that was done to Lauren, looked a little too planned out if you ask me. Her eyes were gauged out, so obviously she saw something she wasn't supposed to see. Her tongue was cut, so they didn't want her telling the world."

"And the barbed wire?" She asked, truly curious now as to what I was thinking.

"I haven't figured that one out yet, could have just been… convenience."

I was lost in a thought pattern there for a minute when she snapped me out of it. "Well, I think… that you think… _too much_ sometimes, Cullen. We should celebrate."

"Celebrate." I said, looking at her like she'd lost her fucking mind. What the fuck did we have to celebrate? The biggest fucking fail ever?

"Um. How about _No." _I said.

"Yeah! We just closed our first case together."

She said that shit like we'd be doing this "more often". And no offense, but I don't fucking think so.

"The Lieutenant even said so." She continued. "And if tomorrow you still feel the same about the evidence, then…" She waved her hand at nothing. "You should follow up on it. The bodies aren't going anywhere, right?"

I creased my eyebrows at her.

"Come _on_ Cullen…" She whined. "What are you gonna do, go drink alone again? You may as well drink with someone else? Right?" She smiled, showing me all of her teeth, putting her hands together like she was praying and I had to laugh and shake my head at her. She's so God damn cute when she does shit like that.

"Fine, but I have to run by the office first. And we can check on your truck." Not that it wouldn't be a blessing in fucking disguise for her to have that piece of shit stolen.

"Great!" She started bouncing in her seat and clapping like she'd just won the fucking lottery.

When we finally made it back to my office for our "Celebration" for "solving" the fuckery that I wasn't too sure we'd fucking solved. At all… I noticed there was a box sitting outside the office door and part of me honestly fucking wondered if there was a God damn bomb in it.

There wasn't though.

It was a box with a cooler inside of it with a label on the side that said "Dry Ice".

There was a letter with it. It was from Sweet Tits. That's the name I dubbed a client of mine I'd helped out recently.

What? She really did have some sweet God damn tits.

I smiled thinking about her and that kiss she'd laid on me at her restaurant the day I brought her fucking case to a close.

Then I caught a glimpse of The Swan out of the corner of my eye, trying to read my fucking letter. God damn she is the nosiest…

"Hello." I said, hinting at her rudeness.

"Who's it from?" She asked.

"None of your fucking business Swan."

"Let me see." She started to grab the letter and her breast grazed my other hand when I tried to hold it up to keep her away, waking Eddy Jr. up from a long day's nap.

_Here we go._

I hid the paper away from her and unlocked the door. She narrowed her eyes at me and I laughed, asking her "Oh, I'm sorry, did you wanna pick my locks again Swan?"

_Or my dick?_

She just rolled her eyes and walked into the office as I picked the box up and headed in after her. I set it down on my desk and then plopped down into my chair, kicked my feet up onto the desk and read.

It said:

_**Dear Dick,**_

_**Here's a little something to say 'thanks' for all your work on my case. I know it isn't my twat or nothin', but fuck, it's G'damned gourmet delights made by yours truly. Have the satisfaction of knowing that before I put in every ingredient, I rubbed it on my tit first, except for the spices, 'cause that shit will seriously fuck up a tit, and Flower Child really likes my tits. (As do I)**_

I shook my head and laughed through my nose.

_**Anyhow, thank you again, seriously, if Flower Child didn't PWN me, I would let you fuck my vagina from here to next Tuesday and then some. Might even throw on a leap year or some shit, cause that's when the year is longer right? Well, fuck it, you get the point.**_

_**Sincerely,  
your Sweet Tits**_

I laughed out loud at that last line. _My_ Sweet Tits. I fucking knew she liked that shit.

_Disrespectful my ass._

_**P.S- I go to bed every night with your fucking colt on my mind. Just so you know. Don't tell Flower Child please, just fucking store it in the 'jerk-off' bin. K?**_

Fuck. Poor kid. He's knee deep in shit he can't even imagine getting out of.

_**AND, thanks again, for the lobster shit too, even though Flower Child now officially fucking PWNS me.**_

Can someone please fucking tell me why people spell "owned" with a God damn "P"?

Fuckin A.

I smiled because The Kid owned her ass even before the lobster shit. She just didn't fucking know it.

I thumbed the piece of paper, smirking, when The Swan pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Cullen… helllooooooo." She was giving me that look again. Like I'd fucking left building and she didn't know where I was. I looked at her and then suddenly it hit me. There was fucking food. In the cooler. From God damn Sweet Tits.

"Didn't you say something about wanting to eat at The Workshop Swan?"

Now she was really giving me a weird ass look. "Ummm yeah?"

"Well today is your lucky motherfucking day… because this, my friend…" I started opening the cooler. "Was made by the God damn owner of said restaurant. If you're nice, I might share some of this shit with you."

Her eyes lit up like a God damn Christmas tree and she started helping me take some of the Styrofoam containers out of the box.

"Definitely smell fucking ravioli." I said to myself. I put that box to the side. The Swan was getting none of that fucker.

I motioned my head toward the closet. "There's a blanket in there, grab it will ya?"

"A blanket?"

"Yeah, Swan, a blanket, you know, something that will keep the mess off of my floors if we happen to spill any of this shit."

She gave me one of those looks like I'd lost my mind again, but went and got the blanket without any fucking smart ass remarks whatsoever and I thought how she must really be fucking jonesin' for some Workshop fuckery, because that's just not like her.

"I really shouldn't share this with you ya know, after that shit you pulled earlier."

She laughed. "You had that coming Cullen. And you know it."

"Psh! It's all relative Swan. It's _all_…. Relative."

She laid the blanket out on the floor and started putting some food out, and I grabbed the Patron that was left, setting it down next to the food.

We both sat our asses down cross legged and I broke out the ravioli first, forking as much as I could and shoving it into my mouth. The taste of that ravioli made me wanna fucking dial up Sweet Tits and have some major fucking phone sex with her, let me tell ya.

The sweet sauce made every God damn taste bud explode with happiness and the soft pasta practically fucking melted in my mouth.

I closed my eyes, humming, and when I opened them, The Swan was eying me.

"What?" I asked with a mouth full of ravioli still.

"Planning on sharing?"

I pointed to all the other boxes around her. "You've got all that shit over there Swan, you wouldn't like this anyway, it's fucking awful."

"Then why are you eating it?" She was starting to laugh, amused with my blatant lie.

"I don't want you to get sick. My stomach is stronger, it can handle poison." I winked and swallowed.

She bounced off of her ass and onto all fours at that, and crawled over to me as I took another mouth watering, fuck me till the end of the world bite of Sweet Tit's ravioli like she was a fox getting ready to scrap for her dinner.

I swallowed the fucking ravioli, because honestly my friend? That shit was fucking hot and I suddenly felt Eddy Jr. bouncing around like he was gonna get his freak on.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Swan?" I asked her, trying to remain in control here, because let's face it, it was _my_ motherfucking office.

"I want some ravioli, Cullen." She said sternly as she made it over to me with her cat like stealthiness and reached for my fucking container, but I pulled it away and held it up too high for her to reach.

"I don't fucking think so, Tiny Dancer." Was she nuts?

"Cullen. Stop being stingy." She got up on her knees, which put said tits right at my face level and I licked my lips.

_Distracting me with breasts, ey Swan? Well you've got another thing coming._

I got up on my knees and held the container up even higher now, and now, her perky little tits were brushing up against my chest and I could feel how hard her nipples were as she swung her arm up to try and grab my fucking ravioli from me again.

Eddy Jr. jumped to attention and made big ass 'Puss In Boots' eyes at me, but I played that shit off and laughed at her. "You are quick young one, but not quick enough." I said in my best Jackie Chan voice.

"Shut…" she jumped from her knees, missing and I laughed.

"_Up…_" she jumped again and I leaned back a bit as she started to lose her balance, using me as her leverage. I had to put a hand down onto the floor in back of me so I wouldn't fucking fall.

"Swan, if I spill this God damn ravioli, you're paying the fucking piper."

"If you'd share, then you won't have to worry about spilling now, would you, _Cullen?_" She said my name with an arched eye brow, and a look on her face that wasn't making Eddy Jr. settle down very much and all of a sudden I could distinctly hear Prince in my head singing "She's got the look".

_Fuck me._

"OK, OK, I give, I'll share." I said, gaining my balance again, and grabbing her tiny wrist into my hand, trying to ignore the raging fucking hard on in my pants. "But you have to behave Swan." I warned her. "Or I might just have to punish you." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and her mouth hung open a little.

My eyes darted to her mouth. The fuck hot mouth that I'd had mine on just last night in the bat mobile… the same mouth Eddy Jr. wanted to play with. Badly.

"Sit." I said to her.

She did it, slowly, eying me the whole time as she sat back down on her sweet little ass and put her hands in her lap, crossing one over the other to show me she was being good.

"Good girl." I said, cocking an eyebrow.

_What the fuck are you doing Cullen?_

I settled back down onto my knees, forked a ravioli and looked at her. "Open."

She did it, and I fucking swear, the way The Swan opens her mouth? Pure. Fucking. Genius.

She closed her eyes slowly, parted her lips slightly and part of me wanted to toss the fucking ravioli and just swallow her whole right then and there. But trust me when I say, that ravioli is not shit you wanna waste.

So I slowly put the food to her mouth and she surrounded it with her lips, closing them over the fork as I pulled it away and she. _fucking_. _hummed_.

"Mmmmm… my… God."

_Yeah. Don't I fucking know it._

"Shhhhhhit." I groaned out, not meaning to do it out loud like that.

Then she opened her eyes suddenly. "What… what's wrong?"

What the fuck was I supposed to say? That she just turned Eddy Jr. on so bad that he used my voice to tell her that shit?

"I um…" I started, swallowing uncomfortably. "…spilled some… it's…"

And there really was spillage on my hand. My thumb to be exact. I'm quick to notice shit like that. And if I wasn't in the presence of a lady, I'd lick that shit right up. It's that good.

The Swan's eyes moved to see where I'd gotten it on me and took her hands, those soft, fucking hands of hers, and placed them on either side of my hand, bringing it to her mouth, and licked the fucking ravioli off of my thumb. Then wrapped her God damn mouth around it and sucked…

"Swan." I warned her. Because I didn't know if she'd just gotten wrapped up in the fuck-awesomeness that is Sweet Tits ravioli, or if she just really liked the way my thumb tasted.

Either way… that shit felt good and Eddy Jr. wanted to come out and play really fucking bad.

She seemed to realize what she was doing and stopped.

_Idiot, never interrupt a woman in the middle of a good thumb sucking._

_Okay that sounded wrong._

Pulling my thumb out of her mouth, she took the fork from me and said "Your turn."

She pushed me backwards slowly and deliberately with her free hand to my chest and I fucking complied. Hell, I knew she could make me if she wanted to, why not play nice?

Right?

She took the container of ravioli from me and forked a couple, inching closer to me on her knees and I already had my eyes closed in anticipation of that shit when I suddenly realized, she wasn't putting the fucking food in my mouth.

I opened my eyes and saw that she had gotten up from our cozy little picnic and she was walking away.

With my fucking ravioli.

"Not cool, Swan." I said, in a warning tone.

She looked over her shoulder at me and then winked while she shoved a whole fucking fork full of that shit into her mouth.

"You're definitely gonna pay for that shit, my friend." I got up and pounced over to her and she screamed, trying to hold the shit up and away from me but I'm a lot fucking bigger than she is and that was never gonna happen.

Except that when I reached for it, she tripped over my foot, falling backwards and screaming. She grabbed onto my shirt, pulling me down with her and we landed on the couch, her on the bottom, me on top, and some of the fucking ravioli had spilled onto her shirt.

And therefore, her tits.

_Shit. _

"Shit, Swan, you fucking spilled it. What'd I tell you about spilling the fucking ravioli?" I said teasingly, propping myself up onto my hands so I was looming over her and taking the container out of her hand that still had a little bit of ravioli left in it.

I set it next to us on the end table, thinking, luckily none of it got on my couch, because that would have fucking ruined the whole God damn moment that seemed to be building there between us.

"You're the one that wouldn't share." She shot back.

"Now it's all fucking over you." I said, dipping my head down. "Must…" I bit one and chewed it up, that was sitting on her neck. "Clean…" I sucked another one up that was a little lower. "Up…" I said, leaning down and sucking one up from between her breasts. And okay, yeah, maybe I lingered there a little longer than I needed to get the ravioli off of her.

I couldn't fucking help it okay? The Swan's luscious tits plus ravioli makes Edward a fucking horn dog.

She sucked in some air and her breast pushed into me, whimpering just a little bit. I felt her legs tense under me and her hands moved to my hair and fisted it, holding my face where it was.

_Holy Mary Mother of all horny women._

She softened in her grasp a little and I lifted my head up, smirking. "You taste good with ravioli all over you Swan, you should wear it more often." I picked up another piece off of her chest with my fingers and popped it in my mouth, trying to play it off like the sound she'd just made didn't make my dick wanna burst out of my jeans screaming "I'm free! I'm free!"

She took her bottom lip in between her teeth and I eyed some tomato sauce that was on her neck, back where her shoulder starts. I bent down one more time to suck on that sinful red concoction and she squirmed, giggling.

"Cullen stop! That tickles!"

_Oh... Yeah. Jackpot!_

"Where? _Here?_" I sucked the same spot on her neck and she screeched. "Stop! I'm serious!" She tried wiggling out from under me, but I'm a pretty strong motherfucker. No matter how bad-ass The Swan might be, she wasn't going anywhere.

"How about here Swan, you ticklish here?" I grabbed at her thigh, just above the knee and she threw her head back laughing loudly, trying to grab my hand to stop me. "No, God! Plea-hee-heeze!"

I smiled, and trapped her hands in one of mine, holding them over her head. I looked at her with what felt like an animalistic urge to just… fucking take her ass. "I think I fucking like hearing you beg Swan, shit, that's hot. Do it again." I grabbed her thigh again and she screamed some more, laughing the whole while. "PLEASE! Fucking stop! I can't take it!"

"More Swan! More begging!" I teased and tickled harder kicking her feet at something and I felt a sudden jerk. The next thing I knew we were falling off of the couch and onto the floor.

"Shit!" I yelled and she screamed, falling on top of me, her tits were saying hello to my face and she stopped laughing abruptly.

What can I say? Eddy Jr. poking you in the groin does that to women.

She pulled herself down some, rubbing said groin against my dick, and was looking at me with surprised, lustful eyes that were really fucking hard to ignore. Her mouth was just slightly open like maybe she was gonna say something, but I decided not to wait for her, I read people on a day to day fucking basis, I wasn't wrong about this shit.

I gave her a look that only gave her a moments warning before I wrapped my hands around her neck and pulled her lips to mine and God damn, there it was again.

Those fucking goose bumps.

I opened my mouth and she followed suit, allowing me access to her sweet, tomato sauce tasting tongue, which just made the whole experience that much better if you ask me.

"Mmm." I mumbled, savoring her mouth while my hands explored her waist, her back, her ass. Damn if she didn't have a nice ass.

_Dear students, dick twitching 101 has been scrapped today for a more advanced class of dick drilling, which may or may not cause permanent damage if conducted improperly._

One of her hands was in my hair, fisting that shit, fucking making me wanna bite her lip that I was now sucking on, and her other hand was trailing down my torso, to my stomach. Her fingers dipped into the hem of my jeans, making my stomach tremble.

I mean, what the fuck was that all about?

"Fuck Swan… what the hell are you doing?" I moaned out, instinctively grabbing her wrist. Because surely she wasn't fucking doing what I thought she was fucking doing.

Right?

Eddy Jr. wasn't happy with me, to say the least, I was pretty sure I heard the faint humming of "Go down Moses."

_When Isreal was in Egypt's land… Let my people go…_

"Well…" She said, all shyly and shit, breathing heavy, licking her fucking lips. "We're not _technically _working with each other anymore, are we?" I scowled at her, was she seriously saying what I thought she was saying?

"I mean, Muldoon DID say the case was closed…" She looked down at my hand that was still wrapped around her wrist and I slowly released her.

Who am I to argue with that reasoning?

Internally, I reassured Eddy Jr… _as you were soldier…_ and part of me couldn't help but get a little slap happy over the shit that was about to go down.

The other part of me though…

"What the fuck has gotten in to you Swan?" I asked as she started slowly unbuttoning the top button of my jeans.

"_Cullen_." She said with sternness, unbuttoning the next button. As though, if I didn't fucking listen to her, she was gonna kick my sorry ass.

We didn't want that now, did we?

"It's been a long time." Another button bit the dust. "And that kiss last night…" She shook her head. "I don't know, I …" She put her bottom lip in between her teeth again and I had to throw my head back in utter fucking anxiousness, closing my eyes.

"And the food… and your lips are soooo…." She was done now. All fucking buttons were freed from their holes. "Good." I looked back up at her and she eyed me, arching an eyebrow.

"And I've been dying to get a better look at your… gun."

_Shit, she just used the word gun to describe my dick. There's no turning back now. _

She propped up onto her knees and pulled my jeans down, along with my boxers and Eddy Jr. was singing her praises, pumping his fist in the air screaming "_YES!_"

My head fell back again and the next thing I knew, hot, wet kisses were making their way up the base of my shaft.

"Oh my fucking God Swan, your mouth…"

"Mmmmmm" She hummed.

"Shit… Mad… mad skills my friend." I murmured and she giggled, sending vibrations up to the head and I had a funny fucking feeling, Eddy Jr. wasn't gonna last too long.

_Sorry buddy. Short play date today._

"Your cock is soooo fucking huge Cullen…" She whispered. "I don't know if I can get all of this into my _mouth_."

I blindly held my hands up again. "Big hands, Swan."

I started to laugh, but then she placed her tongue flat against my dick and licked it slow, from bottom to top and I had to pull my head up finally just to see that shit because the way it felt was fucking golden. Like God damn hot showers after you've been out in the snow too fucking long.

_Not so funny anymore, huh Cullen._

_Noooooooooooooo._

"Jesus Swan."

_Dirty, dirty mouth… fucking awesomely beautiful, but dirty mouth._

She smiled at me and when she got to the tip again, she encompassed my dick with her whole God damn mouth, taking me in, all the fucking way, until I felt the head hit the back of her throat. Slow and fucking deliberate.

"You are an evil, evil woman."

She stopped just long enough to tell me "Well, Emmett did say someone needed to keep you in line." Smiling, and then she kept eye contact while she went back to licking Eddy Jr. I mean seriously, you'd have thought she was licking chocolate candy coated drizzle off of him.

My mouth gaped and my brow furrowed watching her. She giggled. She was enjoying this shit just as much as I was apparently.

I propped myself up onto my elbows and as shit of a move I always thought this was, I just couldn't stop myself from angling my hips and letting my hand find its way to her head, pushing myself into her mouth just a little… bit… _further_.

I closed my eyes again and grinded my hips into her. "Fuck." Was all I could get out as she moved her hand to my balls, and massaged the area there. Again, mad motherfucking skills.

She was not fucking lying about the knobs earlier.

Up and down she moved, slowly for a while she made her way all around my dick's land of the free, then every so often, she'd suck really fucking hard when she was at the tip, using her other free hand to stroke my shaft with the slickness from her saliva that was dripping down the sides.

_Shit._

"Swan…" I rasped, feeling the orgasm beginning to churn.

_Soldiers! At arms!_

"I'm…" Hot juices were being poured into the cannon, warning me that I was about to inject The Swan's beautiful mouth with sticky goodness that I might perhaps appreciate leaving the vicinity, but she might not like to have invading her sweet, talented lips.

_Ready!_

She didn't stop, and not that I didn't like the idea of cumming into her mouth, but I warned her again anyway, trying to remain a half way decent guy about this. "_Swan_, you might wanna…"

_Aim!_

She just sucked harder and I was losing it, but I tried one more time. "Swan! I'm definitely gonna… FUCK!"

_Fire!_

I came hard into her mouth, in long squirts that she fucking swallowed, moaning the whole time, making me wanna come again.

"Jesus. Christ." I choked out, falling back onto my back and closing my eyes, throwing my arm over my eyes. "That was fucking…."

"Better than the ravioli?" She finished, smirking, and I laughed, looking up to her. "Yeah."

I lay there for a minute, coming down off of the high that was no doubt people, the best God damn blow job I have ever had.

"Thank you." She whispered into my ear, trailing her fingers up and down my arm.

_Fucking goose bumps._

"Swan, I didn't fucking do anything. What the hell are you thanking me for?"

"For saying you're sorry earlier, about my mom." She kissed me just below my ear, causing those little bits of electricity to form where her lips touched.

"For getting my mind off of dead bodies." She kissed she kissed my neck, where it meets my collar bone, which shit sent shivers up my God damn spine.

"For being so sweet to Seth." She kissed the corner of my mouth and I turned to get the full fucking feel of her lips against mine.

Because no one had ever said such fucking selfless shit to me before, and it was having one weird ass affect on me.

I lifted myself up and leaned over, forcing her to lay back now. I was hovering over her, with my hand next to her head, playing with her hair, entangling it in my fingers and looking into her deep chocolate brown orbs. "Swan. I think I owe you a little something." I advised her, smiling down at her.

My hand started moving down along her shoulder.

"Cullen…"

I grazed her breast with my palm, moving it further down to her stomach, watching her the whole time.

She looked. _Nervous_.

Which confused the fuck out of me considering the master blow job she'd just conducted on my dick a minute ago.'

I creased my brow and was about to say something about it when her cell phone rang.

"Ignore that Swan. It can't be more important than a good… _tongue lashing_." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she bit her fucking lip again.

"My dad's the only person that has this number… other than you now." She said shyly. "He wouldn't call if it wasn't important."

There was something else in her voice though. I just couldn't fucking put my finger on it.

I rolled away so she could sit up and she pulled the phone out of her backpack and answered it, turning her face away from me and speaking in hushed tones.

"Hey dad."

Silence.

"yeah, um… not this weekend, I'm … I've got this thing… with… you know…" She looked over her shoulder at me out of the corner of her eye and then back to the wall she was facing.

"I know, I'm sorry, but… no, definitely can't get out of it." I felt the crease growing between my eyes and pulled my jeans back on.

She laughed. "Yes… Yes dad... YES… NO! God tell him to stop fucking… sorry… tell him to stop butting into my life… I know… I know I'm sorry okay, look I gotta go."

She listened some more.

"Dad. I. Have. To. Go."

She turned and smiled at me.

"Bye. I love you too. Bye… DAD! Bye."

She flipped the phone shut and breathed out. "_Jesus._"

My mouth couldn't stop from opening when I told her "This is why I don't talk to my family… it always ends bad." I let out a small chuckle.

She snapped her head up at me. "That's not funny Cullen. I don't know what I'd do without Charlie. He's just… a little…"

"I know." _Trust me. I know._

She started packing up her backpack and looked at herself. "Oh my God, I'm a mess… I'm gonna run home, I'll um… see ya round I guess huh?"

_Leaving? What the fuck?_

"Swan." I started as I made to get up, but she cut me off. "I really have to go anyway Cullen. I have tons of shit to do tomorrow. You know, _life?_" She laughed. "It's no big deal, trust me." She winked and then walked over to me and stepped up onto her tippy toes, kissing me on the cheek.

I didn't quite get the whole, having to leave in a big fucking hurry all of a sudden shit, but she wasn't getting away that easily.

Before she could pull completely away from me, I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back in for a proper fucking kiss goodnight. On the God damn lips.

My hands roamed her sides, along her perfectly shaped waist, and her soft hips causing her to whimper a little and I couldn't help but smile. Then she bent her head to the side some and I moved my hands to her neck, adjusting her to just the right position for me to delve deeper in that fuck hot talented mouth of hers with my tongue.

When I finally had to breathe again, I regretfully pulled away and held her face in my hands and said. "I'll walk you down."

I packed up the food quickly, grabbed my jacket and we headed down stairs.

What? You think I'd let that shit go to waste did you?

I laughed as we approached her truck and she eyed me, thinking I was laughing at her fucking truck.

"You really are a fucking mess, Swan."

She rolled her eyes as she hopped in the driver's seat and said. "Well, I… guess I'll see ya Cullen." There was something in the pit of my stomach that didn't like the sound of that, but I held a hand up to her anyway and just said "Yeah. See ya."

I watched her start the car up with that fucking bottom lip of hers in between her teeth and then she was gone.

_Cullen, you… Are. An. Idiot._

I was left standing there wondering 'what the fuck' again and I gotta say… I didn't have any answers.

Once I had everything packed into the Vanquish to take home, I left too, but not before noticing a DCPD cruiser parked in the alley near my office building.

_Emmett. _

_What the fuck was he doing?_

I contemplated walking over there and asking him what his fucking problem was, but decided against it. It'd just ruin my fucking night, and I wasn't in the mood.

Shit, if he wanted to play spy boy, let him, it's my fucking office, I can do whatever the hell I wanted to, within the law.

I slipped into the Vanquish and headed home.

My points of interest were all intact and I found myself absently looking around for Pup, but he wasn't around.

_Hmm. _

I headed inside and put the food in the fridge and made a mental note to send Sweet Tits a thank you note. Not only for the food, but for the fuck awesome blow job I ended up getting because of said food.

I took a nice long shower, leaning against the shower wall, letting the scalding water run down my back. When I was done, I checked the locks on the front door, smiling, thinking about how The Swan could pick a fucking lock like a pro.

_That shit could come in handy some time._

I slipped some pajama bottoms on and fell down into my bed, locking my fingers behind my neck, staring at the ceiling.

For the first time in a long God damn time, I just lay there. No conspiracies ran through my mind, I didn't think about the case with the Mayor's wife, or the fucking red Ferrari, or Emmett, or dad, or … anything like that.

All I thought about was ravioli, teasing, tickling and laughter. Specifically, The Swan's laughter. I also could not stop thinking about the feel of her hands on my bare skin, and just how fucking flawless it felt to have her mouth around my dick. Not to mention, how God damn intense as all get out that fucking orgasm had been. Like I thought I would go blind from pure God damn pleasure or some shit like that.

I started wondering what the fuck her father was saying to her during that phone conversation, and who "HIM" is, and why she wanted him butting out of her life.

I also wanted to know why in the hell she'd pass up an opportunity for a good pussy licking. I mean, who the fuck passes that shit up? Except virgins, and she's not... I mean, there's just no fucking way... I refuse to believe that someone with her skills hasn't fucking... well, fucked.

Shit.

I'd have to ask her about that when... wait, when was I gonna see her again? She'd said "See ya round." Which didn't exactly sound to me like she planned on making any contact with me again.

That's fucked up.

Serenade Eddy Jr. with your fuck-awesome skills and then, what, disappear?

_I don't fucking think so Swan._

Well shit. Now I actually wanted to go to the God damn celebration the Mayor was throwing us. She wouldn't pass that fuckery up. I'd corner her there. Worst case scenario, I could always text her.

_Excellent fucking job getting the digits, Cullen._

Yeah, I'll text her tomorrow.

I took a long deep breath in and then let it out just as slow as I drifted off.

Relaxed.


	9. I'm Batman

**A/N: Chappy song = Harder to Breathe by Maroon5**

* * *

**Chapter 8 ~ "I'm Batman"**

**PART 1. THE SWAN**

Buzzzzzzzzzz.

My phone vibrated on the end table next to me loudly, and way too damn early in the day.

I ignored it.

Or so I thought I would anyway.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I was annoyed to say the least.

Not only was it a ridiculous hour of the day to be getting phone calls, but I was soooo comfy.

You know how when you're in that perfect little sleeping place, and you're all warm and cozy, thinking happy thoughts in your blissful sleep?

Yeah, that's the stuff.

Well that was over apparently.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I reached over to turn the cell phone off but the text that was blinking at me caught my attention before I could put it back down and then it was too late. There was just no going back to bed after that.

It was from Cullen.

And it said: _Eddy Jr. says good morning._

I rolled my eyes and huffed.

I did laugh, too, though. I mean, it _was_ kinda funny.

The text did me in. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face thinking about the night before at Cullen's office.

I shook my head and rolled over onto my side, staring at the shirt on the floor from the night before that still had ravioli stains on it… thinking about what had transpired between us.

_I… am such… a slut._

But a happy slut.

I giggled.

I can't say I'd planned that whole, blow job thing out before hand or anything, but Cullen kissing me the way he did, I just kinda… lost control a little bit. His lips on me like that did things…

I shivered.

All those thoughts I'd had about Eddy Jr. all day the day before, and then he was teasing me with that food… that delectable, fucking awesome ravioli. _God._

When he fell on top of me on the couch, I honest to god thought I'd come right then and there, it had been so long. And his dick was… soooooo… hard, and admittedly, felt soooooo good.

Something in me just snapped and I wanted to show him just how much of an affect he was having on me for once.

No banter, no… innuendos, just me, giving him something I could give him. For all the fucking flawless, sweet, thoughtful things he'd been doing, including making me all hot and fucking bothered with that whole, feeding me food thing.

_Jesus_. Who thought eating ravioli could be so…

Shivers ran up my spine again thinking of his touch, his kiss… those lips, damn, they were so sensitive and yet so, _urgent_.

I had to admit, I felt confused by him more often than not. I mean, I was pretty sure anyone looking in on him from the outside wouldn't see him as a sweet, adoring, gentle creature. He's very tricky that way, always making sure people saw his sarcasm, witnessed his brashness, never allowing them to see him lose control.

_But he did lose control last night._

I smiled again at the way I'd held jurisdiction over him while I was sucking on _Eddy Jr_. and shook my head at the name he called his dick.

He definitely liked it. I can't blame him, I'm an excellent giver of blow jobs, if I do say so myself. I was in my comfort zone for sure.

It was _afterwards_ that scared the shit out of me.

When he started insinuating that he wanted to… _repay_ me… and well, I mean, I'd never… you know… been… done THERE before.

I mean, there was that one time in Hawaii, when Jake was with me… and that guy… Ben I think his name was. He had allergies. Really bad allergies and he sneezed all over me just as he was getting started, and that kinda ruined the whole thing for me.

_Blech._

I refused to count that as an experience in getting my muffin licked. Sorry.

So yeah, a tad bit of an amateur in _that arena_. I wasn't ready for Cullen to make that kind of offer anyway. I mean, I hadn't shaved in, God I don't even know if it was this WEEK! There was just no way he was gonna go get to know my 'pocket full of sunshine' in such a way that would scare him off from ever making another offer like that again.

_However…_

I smiled as the words on my phone's screen blinked at me again._ Eddy Jr. says good morning. _

I put the phone down, rolled back onto my back and my hands slipped under the blankets, removing my pajama bottoms. Then they glided their way to where I was wet just from a simple god damn text from the man.

_Jesus. It has been, way too long._

"Mmmmmmmm." I hummed, as I slid my finger in to get it nice and slick before rubbing my clit and I hissed from the contact. It had been a while since I'd felt the need to do this too.

I took a nice long deep breath and let it out, letting myself say his name. "_Feels so nice_, Edward."

My other hand joined in on the fun and separated my lips so I could have better access, imagining his lips there, and his tongue. I closed my eyes and bent my knees some, whispering "_So soft_, Edward."

I dipped a couple of fingers into me again, as deep as I could go, pretending they were his fingers. I licked my lips and bit my bottom lip as I curled them around, hitting my g-spot, moaning and catching my breath in small spurts from the pleasure it was creating.

"_I love your fingers_, Edward."

I was so wet, god, I wished I'd have taken him up on his offer after all, shaven or not, I would have gotten over the embarrassment soon enough.

_Idiot._

I circled my clit softly and with my other hand, I entered again. The feeling was becoming even more intense with the wetness continuing to erupt there and I just kept dipping my fingers in deep for gratification, while circling the small ball of miracles, imagining the things he would have said to me, the things he would have done with his tongue…

Maybe he would have pressed his gun up against me, and I'd grind into it.

"Mmmmmmm, Edward…" I imagined his hands roaming and his lips sucking, humming into me, causing beautiful vibrations to ripple through my body and I shivered.

I felt a churning begin, at the bottom of my soul, and it started to build and build. I rubbed a little faster and a little harder instinctively until finally…

"OH! FUCK! Edward! SHIT!" I came hard and just kept rubbing until I couldn't take it anymore, and then I removed my fingers, exhausted from the orgasm.

I threw my arm over my eyes, letting my legs collapse, until my breathing became normal again. "God I hate him."

I picked up my phone and stared at Cullen's text again and decided that NOT responding was probably the best response, for now anyway.

I had shit to do today if I was gonna be able to show my face to him again and I didn't exactly have time for text games.

I laughed bitterly to myself, that I'd passed up the opportunity to be _"tongue lashed" _as he put it, by the sexy, smartass P.I., Edward Cullen.

_Well next time, I'll…_

"HA!" I laughed out loud. I was talking like we'd find ourselves in that situation ever again!

_Way to go, Swan._

When am I ever gonna see him again anyway? I mean…

Oh.

_Shit. _

The celebratory thing the Mayor wants to throw us.

_And Emmett's promotion party._

Crap.

Well, that's not gonna be awkward at all, now, is it?

_Hmmm. _

Since I was up anyway, I decided to go ahead and get some things done for work. I started some coffee, and while that was brewing, I checked email. Not all together to my surprise, there was one from the Mayor's office, with details about the celebratory event he wanted to throw Cullen and I.

_Tomorrow?_

Shit, I needed to get my act together.

Clothes shopping. _I wonder if there's a good place to shop around here._

Work out… that would surely get rid of the butterflies slash pterodactyls.

_Hair styling. _

I looked at my rats nest, pulling it up and noticing all the split ends.

Mani-Pedi.

_Mmmmmm, haven't had one of those in a while._

Maybe a bikini waxing…

_How about DEFINITELY a bikini waxing._

I jumped up and took my shower, shaved my legs, and… other areas, ate some food and then started off the day with a truck that wouldn't start.

"DAMN IT!"

I leaned my head against the steering wheel and closed my eyes. Sometimes I really hated that damn truck. I mean, I loved her, she's my baby, and Jake had kept her running really well back in Forks, but…

_Hey._

I pulled Rose's card out of my back pack and called her. She said she'd come tow me, free of charge, and take care of getting her all gussied up again.

I like Rose.

She let me take a loaner while she worked on my truck and I asked her to come with me to the event the next night. I didn't really want to go alone, and there was just no way I was calling Cullen to ask him. Screw that.

He'd rub that shit in my face faster than his dick could get hard.

And that's pretty quick.

She agreed whole heartedly, trying to nonchalantly ask if Emmett was supposed to be there, which honestly, I didn't know if he even knew about it. She said she'd meet me at The Ram's Head later to swap cars again and then I was off.

My first stop after Rose's, was a dress shop she'd referred me to.

What she didn't tell me, was that Edw… Cullen's sister, Alice _OWNED_ the shop.

"Hi!" She squeaked when I walked in, almost as though she'd been expecting me.

_Rose._

I shook my head and gave her a look that probably made her think I was insane and said "Hey, I'm…"

"Bella, I remember, how are you?" She walked right up to me with a big ass grin on her face and gave me a hug like we'd been best friends our whole lives or something.

It was warm. _Inviting_.

And I liked it.

"I'm guessing Rose told you I was on my way." I laughed as we pulled apart from each other. She laughed too. "Rose and I go way back. She wanted me to get some things out before you got here, said you had a lot of things to do today."

"That's an understatement." I mumbled.

I bit my lip and started to try and explain what I was there for. "I need something… I don't know, for an event tomorrow. The Mayor's…"

"I know! Rose told me! I think it's great! Edward's going?"

I furrowed my brow at that question. "I don't know, he doesn't seem to really like the Mayor much…"

"Edward doesn't like many people, period." She grimaced.

_No kidding._

"Anyway, I kinda feel obligated, the Mayor gave me my first job here, and all…" I gestured to nothing with my hand in the air.

"Well, it's probably a good idea to stay on that guy's good side. I wouldn't want to be on the bad side of the most powerful man in DC, other than the president anyway. Sometimes Edward tends to piss the wrong people off and one of these days…" She trailed off, thinking of something obviously that she didn't want to talk about.

Before I could retort and ask her about that _almost_ statement, she pulled me over to an area full of tables and clothes. "This one is my favorite for you, try it on, and if you don't like it, there's plenty more to choose from."

It was so… beautiful. The color, spot on. Deep blue, just my color. It was elegant, fitting, yet not overstated, not floor length, thank god, because I hate long ass dresses… I can't walk in them knowing I might trip at any moment. The single shoulder was perfect. Totally my style, and the detail… wow.

Alice was fucking talented, I'd definitely be visiting her again.

I tried it on and how she guessed my size, I have no idea, but it fit perfectly, and when I came out to show her she gasped.

"Bella, it's… _stunning_." She clasped her hands together and put them to her mouth, smiling a knowing smile and I quirked an eyebrow at her, wondering what in the hell she was up to.

I tried to ignore the look she was giving me, and stared into the mirror there, liking what I saw. I doubted very seriously that Cullen would even be going, but you never know… so I needed to look fucking great, and this dress, was _the_ dress.

She stood me up onto a step so she could fiddle and tug and I became curious, and couldn't stop myself from asking her about her family. "So, Alice… I'm curious about something…."

She hummed "mmm?"

I twisted my mouth a little. "Why is C… your brother so _angry_ with Emmett?"

She stopped what she was doing to look me over and sighed.

"You know they used to be like best friends. Him, and Em, and…" She paused, becoming thoughtful about something.

Then it hit me. "Jessica." I whispered.

She pursed her lips and then said softly "Yeah." before going back to fiddling.

I didn't know how much I should push, but I literally couldn't stop myself. Seriously.

"Did they fight… you know… _over her_?"

She still didn't look at me, as she blindly swept her hand over the material, swiping imaginary lint away.

"I guess that's one way of looking at it." She said sadly. "They were both pretty wrung out over her dying, both of them did what they felt like they had to do afterward, both of them thinks the other was wrong. So yeah, I guess you could say they fought over her."

That sounded intriguing, and I wondered deeply what the hell it meant. I really wanted to push for more info, but she seemed too hurt over it, or at least, hurt over her brothers fighting about it, so I left it alone. It didn't seem like something any of them really liked to discuss; Alice was just a little nicer about it than Cullen ever could be.

He'd said they were friends, but why would her death drive a wedge between him and his brother, whom he was best friends with before that?

I felt like a rock was settling in my stomach all of a sudden, and wanted badly to just… fix him.

I looked in the mirror and saw the look on my own face and was a little taken a back. I looked away, unable to process what I was feeling at the moment and decided to change the subject.

"I absolutely love it, Alice." I choked out, in awe of her skills. "How much?" I asked her, almost afraid to know, because she clearly was popular, the store was already starting to fill up with patrons.

She shook her head and smirked, holding her hand up to me like a stop signal. "No charge, I don't take money from people who make Edward squirm."

_Huh?_

"What? No, Alice, I couldn't do that, this dress has to be worth…"

She smiled at me even bigger. "_Nothing_. Consider it a welcome to the area gift."

I eyed her.

"Pleeeeeeeease?" She asked, tilting her head and showing all her teeth.

How is this woman related to Cullen?

"Okay." I said finally. "And, _thanks_."

She grabbed some shoes that went with the dress and threw them into a bag for me as I left and I jumped into the loaner Rose had given me, smiling at how incredibly selfless the two of them were.

My next errand was a mani-pedi. It felt so good to get all my nails done again. I hadn't done this since leaving Forks, I'd just been too busy. I definitely need this pampering day, Cullen or no Cullen.

After leaving there, and being very careful with my nails, I was on my way to a different place for my bikini waxing.

What? A girl's gotta feel good about herself, right?

My phone began buzzing again as I was approaching a traffic jam. It looked like quite the scene up ahead of me at an intersection.

_The drivers here so totally suck._

I tapped my foot impatiently, checking my phone. It was another text from Cullen. This one said: _Avoidance is futile._

I laughed through my nose silently. He thinks he's so smart.

I mean, what if I was in the hospital or something, and UNABLE to respond?

After I finally got through the traffic and was late for my bikini waxing, and had to wait for another opening, which was like, an HOUR later, I made my way to a gym that Rose had told me about.

I signed up for sparring classes and then took one to get the pent up sexual frustration out of my system. Or, at least TRY to.

As I was making my way home to shower and then meet Rose at The Ram's Head, I got yet another text.

It read: _Eddy Jr. is putting out an APPB._

I laughed out loud at that one and could only imagine his meaning behind the extra "P" in that acronym._ Well good luck with that, Cullen. _

What, was he stalking me now? Or, I guess technically, his dick was stalking me. I wondered if anyone had ever gotten a restraining order against a dick… but then, why would I even think of doing that to Eddy Jr.?

I smiled as I finished up my day, if nothing else, the man was persistent.

I only had a little while to spend with Rose at The Ram's Head, and it turned out Alice was meeting us there too, which was very fun. I'd never really had girlfriends, so laughing and having a drink with those two was quite a treat.

Cullen's name didn't come up specifically, but subtle comments were made here and there and we did chat about Emmett some. Every time we did, Rose made a face.

"Why don't you just ask HIM out Rose?" I inquired.

She looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "Are you out of you fucking mind, Bella?"

_See?_

She rolled her eyes at me and said "Anyway, I have a plan." Then she smiled and I didn't ask her about it any further, because I figured if that woman was making a plan, it was gonna work, and I kinda felt sorry for Emmett. But not a whole lot.

"What about you Alice? Any BOY… friends?" I smiled, sipping on my Patron Margarita that D had oh so graciously made perfectly, again, without me even having to ask him.

She made a face. "Nah, I don't really have time, with the store, and my shows, and … Edward and Emmett, and dad, and mom…" Her eyes got big talking about her family, but I didn't but in this time, although I really, _really_ wanted to.

Rose said "Here's to THAT." And they clinked glasses, waiting for me to join in, even though I had no idea what they were talking about, I clinked.

I left after my one Margarita and headed to the office to check on things before I went home for the night and wondered idly why I hadn't received anymore texts from Cullen the rest of the day.

_Because you play too hard to get and he doesn't think it's worth it Swan, that's why._

_Idiot._

I decided not to worry about it, if I saw him the event the next night, great, I'd play him like a fiddle, if not, no biggie, it's not like I need him in my life anyway. Him and his bad attitude, and… sexy scowls, and… overly large dick…

_Right?_

**PART 2. CULLEN**

Fuck.

I felt _great_.

I woke up bright and early, the sun was fucking shining, it was cold and crisp out, and my fucking dick was whistling zippideedoodah all the way through my shower and breakfast.

When I opened the fridge for some milk to go with my cereal, I saw the Styrofoam containers from the previous night and grinned. Thank god some of that fucking ravioli was saved, I'd be consuming the rest of that shit later.

As I was throwing on some button flies and a pullover, there was a distinct dancing going on in my pants.

_Yeah yeah, I'll tell her. _

I pulled out my cell phone as I set the cereal bowl down onto the table, and texted The Swan, smirking. I typed "Eddy Jr. says good morning."

She wouldn't be up yet, but she'd get it later and get a nice chuckle probably. Then I could ask her why the fuck she left last night.

Sitting down at the computer, I checked e-mail. There was one from the Mayor's office, thanking me for my quick work on Lauren's case and how much he appreciated my candor with his _"unfortunate fucking situation_".

_Fuckin' Dick._

_Unfortunate situation?_ His. Fucking. Wife. Died.

I shook my head as I read the rest.

Our "celebratory" dinner was being the next night at the Hay-Adam's Hotel, downtown. Part of me couldn't help but start to wonder what the fuck his intentions were here, and why in the hell he'd feel like celebrating when not only was his wife dead, but she'd killed the woman he'd been fucking around with.

I mulled it over for a minute and then, I decided, _fuck him_, he wasn't ruining my god damn day today. The shit would be there later, just like The Swan said. I'd deal then.

I closed out of e-mail, grabbed my jacket and Colt, then swung the door open to leave, finding Pup sitting there, looking all kinds of fucking puppy dog eyed at me, wagging his tail.

I furrowed my brow. "Where the fuck were _you_ last night?"

He tilted his head at me.

"I got a blow job." I smiled and wiggled my eyebrows at him. _Top that._

He sneezed.

"Fine." I shoved my Colt into my jeans, folded my jacket over the railing and went to get his bowls. I filled them up with food and water and left them on the front porch before checking my points of interest and heading off for the day.

"Just leave the dishes, I'll get 'em later." I said to him. Not that he was fucking listening, he already had his head buried deep into his dog food, woofing down his breakfast.

_Woofing… Ha!_

I laughed at my own joke as I jumped into the Vanquish and sped off to run some errands.

_First stop, the office._

After I scored front fucking row parking, I hopped out of the car, pressed the lock and arm button on my key chain and started into the building.

Movement caught my eye off in the distance and I looked to see what the fuck was going on, and I saw some typical ass-hat trying to take some woman's purse from her, almost hidden by one of the alleyways. She was putting up quite the fight but I also saw the gun stuffed into said ass-hat's jeans and it wouldn't be long before he either pistol whipped her or worse, shot her for resisting.

_It's a beautiful day in the god damn neighborhood._

I huffed and made my way over to them quickly and quietly, careful to stay out of his line of peripheral vision, provided he fucking had any. He could be missing that ability, along with the use of his common fucking decency.

I decided not to bother with my own god damn gun, why waste bullets, right?

I pulled his gun out of his jeans and held it up to the back of his neck. "Tell me somethin' ass-hat, is that fucking purse you're trying to steal worth brain damage in your opinion?"

He stopped pulling at her purse and put his hands up. "What?" He asked over his shoulder.

"Because that's about what you'll get if you don't get lost really fucking quick, ass-hat. I know exactly where to put a fucking bullet so it won't kill you and put you out of your own misery, but it _will_ damage your brain function enough so that you'll spend the rest of your waste of a life in a hospital somewhere, getting your dick scrubbed and your ass wiped by a big burly guy named Bubba."

It didn't take him long to decide. He didn't even want his gun back. He took off.

The young woman who's purse was being assaulted just stood there gaping. I smiled at her and asked "You okay?"

She gripped her purse to her and said "Oh my god, most people wouldn't have even bothered, thank you, _so much_." She was looking at me all kinds of confused and shit.

"You're welcome, but next time, let him have the fucking purse, if I hadn't happen to see him, you'd probably be dead right now." I advised her, then continued on into my building for some paperwork and phone calls.

"Thanks again!" She yelled as I walked away.

I laughed, because that shit was right out of a god damn public service announcement if you ask me.

As I opened up the office, I made a mental note to look into a higher end lock system, seeing how The Swan had no fucking problem opening this piece of shit up the day before.

I put the purse snatcher's gun in my desk and was pretty fucking happy about that score. You just never know when you're gonna need a gun that isn't registered to anyone you know.

What?

I had three calls that had come in overnight, for potential jobs on my answering machine that I listened to as I picked up the blanket that was still on the floor from the night before.

I smiled as I folded it up and placed it back into the closet where it belonged and picked up the bottle of Patron that hadn't even been used, to put it away too.

Message number one was from a lady who'd lost her damn dog. Do I fucking look like the god damn pound to people? I shook my head and made a note to call her back and pass along the number to the local animal control.

Message number two was a guy wanting me to locate his long lost sister.

I nodded in approval, now that one I could do.

I looked at my watch. I jotted his number down and decided to give him a call from the car after I visited Alice. I wouldn't be able to think business until I'd cleared my wardrobe issue.

The third call felt a little off.

It was a woman, wanting to come by and interview me for a case, but she didn't mention what the fucking case was about and she didn't leave a name or number. Just said she'd be in touch.

"What if I don't _wanna_ fucking take your case, lady?" I asked the answering machine.

_Hmmm._

Must be a high society type, thinking they're gonna fucking negotiate my prices. Little do these people know, I don't give a flying fuck whether they hire me or not. I'm not that desperate.

I ignored that one and finished up some shit I had to do on the computer to close a few other cases up, printed the hard copies and filed all of it away. Unlocking the file cabinet, I remembered hiding Jess's file away the day before, and grabbed that before leaving. I'd be looking at that later with my good friend, Patron.

I also eyed the Mayor's file. The negatives still intact, were staring at me. But I didn't have the fucking time today to mess with developing shit, so I closed the file cabinet up and left.

_Stop number two, Alice's den of all things evil._

She had a pretty interesting shit eating grin on her face when I got there, and I couldn't help but smile right back at her.

"What the fuck are you grinning at?"

She started fidgeting with shit and folding shit that was already fucking folded, looking down, refusing to make eye contact with me. "Oh, nothing." She said in her high pitched, sing-songy voice.

_Uh huh._

Let's face it, we all know that's bull shit, but I wouldn't be getting anything out of her if she'd already decided not to fucking tell me anything, I knew that much.

I eyed her as I made my way to the back wall, where all of her suits and tuxes were.

"Need something Edward?" She chimed.

I ignored her.

"Doesn't anything I brought to your place for you last week fit?" She continued.

I still ignored her, putting my hand up to my chin, thinking and eyeballing the suits.

_What color… what color… fuck the color, what style? Shit._

She walked passed me and went into a back room, then came out with something. "This one's nice. It's you color too."

I looked it over and cocked an eyebrow at her. "Alice, black is everyone's fucking color."

I had to admit though, it was fucking perfect. It was like she knew I was coming and where I was going.

She held it up to me and brushed the lint off of it. "Try it on."

With Alice, it's best to just go with her instructions. People get hurt when they try to rebel against her.

When I stepped out of the dressing room, she smiled big. I had to assume this was a good thing. "It's absolutely perfect Edward." She said, then she started fucking with my hair. And I really hate that shit.

I swatted her hands away, leaning my head backwards so she couldn't reach it. "Cut it out Alice." Then I fixed it as best I could, noticing her standing back and taking me in with that Cheshire cat grin on her face again.

I warned her "If you're trying to set me up on a blind date again, Alice… I mean, I thought we learned our fucking lesson the _last_ time…"

She shook her head and held up a hand to swear on an invisible Bible. "Edward, I have sworn off any and all blind dating set ups for you, I have vowed to never, ever, set you up with someone you've never met before, ever again."

I don't know about you, but something about the way she said that shit, made me all kinds of fucking suspicious.

I looked in the mirror as she put pins into the suit for further sewing. "When can I pick it up?"

"I'll drop it at the house." She helped me take off the jacket so her pins wouldn't get fucked up and I changed back into my clothes, kissed on her on the cheek and left.

_El stoppoh, numero trio, the post office._

I decided I'd call the Jazzman up after talking to the client who wanted his sister found. I'd thought of something and wanted his take on shit.

"Yo." He answered in typical Jasper fashion.

"Jazz, it's…"

"Cullen." We both said at the same time.

OK, maybe I need to try and remember that he already fucking knows who I am when I call. Sue me. It's fucking habit.

I sighed. "Can you meet? Ramshead? Say…. Four o'clock?"

"I'm there dude."

"See ya."

One of the many things I really liked about Jazz, he doesn't ask a lot of fucking questions about shit. Unlike some people.

Specifically, some really annoying, determined, nosy, sexy, funny…. Excellent dick sucking people.

I checked my phone while I drove.

And yeah, I know you're not fucking supposed to, but I'm a god damn rebel.

No texts, no calls.

_Hmm._

At the next red light, I decided to text The Swan again. I typed out "Avoidance is futile." Then I closed the phone up and slipped it back into my jacket pocket, smiling.

Whatever the fuck her reasons were for not letting me reciprocate the night before must have been eating away at her today. No pun intended ladies and gentlemen, I'm tellin' ya, this shit just comes out of nowhere.

When I looked up to the light, wondering why it hadn't fucking turned green yet, I watched a car jacking begin to take place across the intersection. They weren't being very blatant about it, but still, you could fucking tell.

The fucked up thing about this my friends, is that no one was even fucking paying enough attention to what was going on around them to notice the shit, much less get out of their god damn cars to help.

"You've got… to be _fucking_ kidding me."

I blinked my eyes, hoping it would just go away, but no, the fucking idiots that were trying to steal a car, not only were still there, but they were forcing a woman out of the car at knife point and dragging a car seat out of the backseat in a not so very nice manner.

_This shit's gonna throw me off schedule._

I took in a deep breath, checked for cars coming, and then stepped on the gas hard.

When I got to the other side of the street I screeched to a stop just in front of the woman's vehicle, blocking the idiots in just as they were about to take off with her shit.

I got out of the Vanquish, holding off on pulling the Colt on them, you know, just in case they were somehow capable of listening to reason.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, homey?" The kid getting out of the driver's side asked me.

I laughed. "Homey?" I shot my eyebrows up at him and he scowled, pulling his knife out.

_Ohhhh, big scary guy thinks I'm just another idiot playing superhero._

Little did he know, I'm no fucking hero, and I'm far from an being an idiot. On most days.

"What'd you say, hauss?" His other friend was getting out now. Hmmm. Two-to-one. I was liking these odds. Way better than four-to-one.

I looked at him. He was an even bigger guy that the big scary guy. I needed to get my Jake Gittes on from _Chinatown_. "I said, you may think you know what you're dealing with, but, believe me, you don't."

Which, let's face it, they didn't.

They both looked at each other in confusion, and then back to me, and started to make their way around to the front of the car where I stood.

I noticed behind them, that the carjacking victim, mommy with baby, at least had her wits about her enough to get on her cell and call the fucking cops. At least if I died here, although I highly doubted that was gonna fucking happen, these ass wipes would still get arrested.

"Okay kids, no need to get violent." I said to them sarcastically. I was pretty sure I could take them without pulling out the artillery, but I decided not to chance it.

As they both got closer, I round kicked bigger scary guy in the neck, knocking his wind pipe inward and sending him to the concrete as I pulled the Colt out, pointing it at big scary knife guy.

"I don't think you want to be taking another fucking step my friend." I said to him. And he didn't. Instead, he put his hands up and dropped the god damn knife.

_Thank fucking god someone has some sense around here._

"It's cool holmes, it's cool." He said. What, are we _friends_ now?

I gotta tell ya, I hate this lingo. I stepped over to him, pissed off, and told him into his ear "If you fucking call me holmes again, I will put a god damn bullet in your head, regardless of whether the cops see that shit or not, got it? HOLMES?"

He didn't answer me, and I backed off when I saw Maryland Troopers pulling up.

"You're leaving?" The woman asked, who was now back behind the car, safely away from the idiots. "The police will want to thank you!"

I shook my head "Lady, my life can't handle many more thanks from the police."

I rushed over to the Vanquish, passing Yorkie, and he waved "Later, Edward."

"See ya."

I got to my car while all the cars full of mindless people in them swerved around it, honking as they did.

Never fucking mind the fact that someone could have died right in front of their fucking faces a few minutes ago.

I checked my watch, I could still make it.

_Stop number four, which should have been stop number three, but since thugs R us are out today, I was now a whole stop behind… The post office._

Hell I went with it… 'Cause I'm a flexible motherfucker, when I wanna be.

I ran into the building and shipped the skin fragments I'd scraped out from under Lauren's fingernails off to a lab I used quite frequently and knew they'd get it back to me in as timely a fucking manner as possible.

Unfortunately, the god damn line was a fucking mile long and each and every customer had about ten questions from hell about their packages, so I ended up about an hour behind schedule even further than I already was.

I mean, Jesus, can't people look this shit up before going to the god damn post office? They have a website ya know.

After I was done there, I hit the ATM. _Stop number five._

Because I like to fucking carry cash, that's why.

As I was making my transaction, I decided to try The Swan one more time. "A word of warning perhaps, Swan, maybe that'll convince you to fucking reply." I said to myself.

I typed in: "Eddy Jr. is putting out an APPB."

Cheesy? Maybe… but hey, it made _me_ laugh. I could perfectly picture the look on her face when she read that shit, trying to figure out what the extra "P" meant. The one she makes when she thinks I'm a fucking idiot, and as asinine as it sounded, I actually got a kick out of that face when she made it.

I put the phone into my pocket and was just about done when cold metal was pushed up against my ribs. "Gimmee the fucking money you just took out, asshole. NOW!"

Whoever the fuck it was, was nervous and shaky, and in a hurry. I could smell the sweat wafting off of him.

I shot my eyes up to the sky without moving my head and asked "Do you fucking hate me today or something? It's not like I forced her to suck my dick ya know."

The faceless idiot behind me hit me on the side of my temple with his fucking gun and asked "Who the fuck are you talking to?"

I breathed in, steadying my temper, because I would seriously hurt this motherfucker if I didn't.

"What did you fucking just say, _bitch?_" He asked me again, shoving the gun up under my rib cage and talking into my ear like he was about to fuck me or something. But I don't fuck guys, ever… and I'm nobody's god damn _bitch._

In answer, I elbowed his face and he backed off, dropping his gun and throwing his hands over the ugly ass nose I'd just broken.

"I said, God…" I punched him in the gut and he heaved over in pain screaming "Fuck!"

"…must _fucking_…" I put my hand together and hammered him in the middle of his god damn spine and he face planted into the side walk and stopped moving.

"…hate me!" I kicked his gun away and put my fingers to my temple to feel the blood there.

"_Asshole."_

Walking back to the car, I picked his gun up as I passed it and tossed it into a dumpster along the way.

One stolen gun in my possession is enough, thank you very much.

I finally arrived at _stop number six_. The Ram's Head. And slid into the booth Jasper was already sitting in, waiting for me.

"Sorry man, got held up."

He finished chugging his beer and motioned the bottle toward my head. "What the fuck happened dude?"

Did I not just fucking cover this? "I. Got. Held. Up." I said, slowly, and purposefully.

He nodded to Demitri for two more beers and said "Oooooh."

Demitri sent the beers over via one of his lackeys and when he left I leaned into the table and asked the Jazzman "What kind of cross referencing do you think you could do on Red Ferrari's registered in the State of Washington?"

He smiled. "Thought you'd never ask dude."

"So you think that's possible? Even though it appears to be a Maryland plate?"

He shook his head "I think anything's possible dude. It's just a matter of how to go about getting the info. Gotta warn ya though, just because the plate originated there, doesn't mean it's gonna be registered there. This might be something you'll want to cross reference all states on."

_Fuck. _

I hadn't thought that part through. But he was right.

I started in on another line of questioning when his eyebrows shot up and I looked to see what the fuck he was so surprised at. Rose and Alice were standing next to us.

_Where the fuck did they come from?_

"Hey, what the hell are you two doing here?"

Alice was staring at Jasper with a weird look on her face, so Rose started in on me. "Nice mouth Edward… you kiss your mama with that mouth?" When I didn't answer her, she started to actually answer my fucking question. "We were meeting…"

Alice snapped out of her trance and cut her off by nudging her in the side and saying "We were just meeting up to discuss some plans for Emmett's promotion, you heard, right?" She smiled that same smile from earlier.

I scowled at her, because I happen to fucking know my sister well enough to know that she was definitely fucking up to something today, but I had no god damn idea what the hell it was.

It didn't matter what I was fucking thinking anyway, because Jazzman disturbed my line of reasoning by introducing himself to my sister.

_Had they really never met before? _

"I'm Jasper, Jasper Whitlock." He said with his southern fucking twang all intact and shit and that big ass flirtatious smile of his. The same one he'd shot at The Swan the other day.

Alice actually fucking blushed when she went to take the hand he'd extended out to her. But instead of shaking it, he brought it to his mouth and kissed the back of it, all the while staring her in the eyes.

See? That's the shit I'm talking about right th…

Hold the fuck up, was he EYE fucking MY god damn sister?

I looked back and forth between the two of them and then cleared my throat a little to interrupt their apparent moment.

Hey, time is precious to me, I don't have any extra for match making, okay?

"So what are you doing here anyway Edward? What was all that about a Red Ferrari?" Rose interjected.

"Just some shit I'm working on Rose, why? Are you working on a Red Ferrari?" I asked, being the fucking sarcastic shit that I am.

"Not today, but last week I did."

_HUH?_

"Fuck, you're shitting me. Did it have Maryland plates? What was the plate number?"

"I don't have a photographic memory, Cullen… I'd have to look it up but yeah, Maryland plates. What's up?"

That's just too fucking coincidental if you ask me. How many Red Ferrari's are in this area? I'd have to look that shit up too.

"Do you know who brought it in? Who's it registered to?"

"Jesus Cullen. _I. Don't. Know._ It's not like I brought my work list with me." She rolled her eyes. "I'll check for ya when I get back."

It would have to fucking do I guess.

"Thanks Rose."

Meanwhile, back at the OK Corral, Jasper and my sister were now sitting side by side, staring googly eyed at each other.

Clearly I wasn't going to get anything else out of the Jazzman today.

"OK, I'm gonna…" I motioned that I was leaving, but got absolutely no response physically. "…go."

"See ya." Jazz said, not even fucking bothering to look over.

I finished off my beer, kissed my sister on the cheek and left, waving to Rose as I did.

I was fucking exhausted, I felt like I'd just fought the battle of god damn Gettysburg all by myself for Christ's sake and I was ready to just get the fuck home, which is why I became highly fucking annoyed when I saw the latest pain in my ass, hanging out with some shady looking little shits down the street.

I walked down to them, fucking fuming.

"You just never learn do you? I mean, did you not just get out of the fucking hospital like, _today_?" I asked him.

Seth looked at me like he'd just been scolded by the authorities, which I fucking was in his eyes I guess, and said quietly. "Hey, Edward."

I was still scowling at him when I told the other little thugs "Get the fuck outta here… NOW." I shooed them away and they left hesitantly, waiting to see what Seth would do, but he fucking knew me well enough not to try any shit.

I crossed my arms and waited, creasing my eyebrows at him, and pursing my lips.

"I'm not made of money you know." He started to walk off. "I do what I gotta do man, I don't have a choice."

I grabbed his arm and spun him around so he was looking at me when I said my next line of bullshit. "You… _always…_ have a choice Seth, you're just making all the wrong fucking ones." Part of me cringed because I felt just like fucking Carlisle when I said that. Only my choices weren't wrong, they just weren't Carlisle's choices.

He didn't know what the fuck to say to that, so he just looked at me, waiting to be dismissed or some shit like that.

I let go of his arm and pulled my wallet out.

"I don't take charity, man." He said, holding his hands up like I was diseased or something. Then he laughed and added "And I'm not a fucking street whore, I'm not sucking your…"

I rolled my eyes and stopped his ass from saying THAT fuckery. "Seth, I don't want you to fucking suck my dick. And I don't fucking give out charity either, so now we're both happy... _Here_." I handed him a hundred dollars. "Go get me a hundred fucking cans of green beans, kid."

Carlisle pulled this shit with Emmett and me when we were younger. He'd send us on fucking ridiculous errands, practically impossible to do in our minds, but not quite impossible enough to get away with not trying. We'd gotten pretty good at it after a few years. If I was being honest, I'd say it had shaped the way I went about solving shit still today.

Make the impossible... possible.

With any luck, maybe it would teach Seth a few things about what he did and didn't have a choice over, and what he could and couldn't accomplish, if he really fucking wanted to.

He looked at the money, confused. "How am I supposed to get a hundred cans of green beans when they cost over a dollar a can?"

I smiled. "That's your problem. I need em' by Sunday." I turned to leave.

"Wait! Even if I get 'em… How am I supposed to get em to you? I don't have a car, man!"

I called over my shoulder "Not my problem!"

I left him there, dumb-fucking-founded, got into the Vanquish, and headed home. Best case scenario, he'd man up and figure that shit out, and then we'd go from there. Worst case, he'd use the money to get some fucking food into his system and stop trying to wheel and deal with Maryland's finest criminals.

Win-win situation in my humble fucking opinion.

I arrived at my apartment, just completely done. I didn't even bother checking my god damn points of interest. Fuck the criminals, if they actually had the nerve to fucking enter my place tonight, I'd just shoot em' and be done with it.

Inside, I threw Jessica's file onto the coffee table and went to the kitchen to grab myself a shot glass.

I seriously debated sending one last text for the day to The Swan, but decided against that shit. Let her stew, and then tomorrow night, she wouldn't be able to avoid me anymore. There was just no way she was even thinking about passing up this event.

As I sat on the couch and poured myself a tiny glass of the nectar from the gods, I thumbed through Jess's file. I found myself recalling everything from each page I flipped as I downed my first shot of the day.

"Accidental explosion… Interns on the scene… Miss Stanley was trespassing… Mike Newton gave a statement summarizing the details… illegal entry… yada yada yada…"

_Fuck._

I turned the pages back. "Newton…" Maybe it was because of all the shit that had been going down lately with him that suddenly made me really fucking interested in exploring this a little more, but I didn't like his name being mentioned in her file all of a sudden.

My stomach churned.

I poured another shot and let the solution sit in my mouth for a minute before swallowing, letting it numb my tongue and burn on its way down before letting the theory start to form in my mind.

Newton had been why Jess wanted to investigate Arrow Shipping in the first place. In a roundabout way, anyway. I remembered it clearly.

"_Come ON… Edward. _She'd whined to me…_ Just check it out with me, I know something's going on over there."_

Jess had found multiple receipts for reimbursement in the small accounting office of the Academy when she was filling in to make some extra money during our last year there. They were all for Mike Newton, and they were all from Arrow Shipping, a large shipping company on the Potomac River.

The business was owned and operated by Aro Voluturi, with his brothers Marcus and Caius, for years. They pretty much fucking dominated the shipping industry in the area.

It wouldn't have caught her attention had the Academy not just taken us there that year as one of our graduating projects on a sting they were conducting. It was supposed to be an open and shut case, easy for us to learn from.

There was an anonymous tip about Cocaine and illegal arms being smuggled out of the country in the shipments, only when we showed up, nothing was found.

DCPD assumed it was a crank call by some disgruntled employee but never found out who it was.

The interesting thing about the whole sitch, was that an employee died at Arrow the next day. Machinery malfunction, as it was reported, but those of us who'd been conspiracy theorists all along, felt like there was something else going on. Like maybe that employee was the one that made the call, and maybe he was found out, and maybe the coke and arms were taken off the property before we could get there, then said employee was murdered.

I did another shot, leaning back into the couch, putting my head back and closing my eyes.

"_Pleeeeeaaaase, Edward?" _She'd begged, holding her hands together in prayer, a lot like the way The Swan did last night when she'd asked me to go "celebrate".

"_I have fucking finals this week, Jess, I promised Em we'd study together."_

She'd scowled at me then, in true Jess fashion, holding her hands on her hips.

"_You have a photographic memory, Edward Cullen, you don't NEED to study."_

"_I promised Em, Jess… who DOESN'T have photographic memory, remember?" _

I smiled, thinking about that part. Emmett had always struggled with tests, but he made it, with flying colors might I add, with a little help from yours truly. Don't get me wrong, he was fucking smart as shit, he just hated tests.

"_Fine, I'll go alone, but when I crack this case wide open and make detective immediately, don't come asking me for special treatment, grunt."_

She laughed at me and grabbed her gear as she left.

That was the last time I'd see her.

"Fuck." I said out loud, finally opening my eyes again.

I stood up and paced a little. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck FUCK!" I threw my shot glass at the wall and it shattered into a billion tiny pieces, much like what my heart felt like, thinking about how I'd abandoned Jess that night, and had basically killed her.

The pieces disappeared into the carpeting and I sat back down on the couch.

I couldn't think about that shit anymore. I wasn't gonna let my mind keep wandering into the next days following her murder. Or her "accidental death" as the DCPD liked to call it.

I closed up her file and shoved it out of my sight, then opened up my Taylor T5 and started strumming it slowly.

"You know how to make it go away, don't you?" I asked it, strumming again.

"You always know how to make it go away."


	10. Fake Celebrations & Real Family Reunions

**A/N: Chappy song = ****over the rainbow Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

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**Chapter 9 ~ "Fake Celebrations and Real Live Family Reunions"**

**CULLEN POV**

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

_The god damn hammering was ridiculously loud._

"_Em, how many times do I have to fucking tell you, you're hammering that shit all wrong."_

_Bang! Bang! _

_He stopped his abuse of the poor dry wall he was working on and glared at me. He was wearing an old ratty t-shirt that said "Construction workers really know how to nail it" on the front._

"_Well maybe I should be hammering your head instead of this wall, Eddy."_

"_My head's harder than you think Em, you'll never get through to me like that." I squeezed the torque on the drill I was holding and it revved while I shot my eyebrows up at him and smiled wide._

"_Don't I fucking know it." He said, as he went back to his completely annoying hammering._

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

_Why the fuck was he hitting it like that? All the nails were crooked, did he not notice that shit?_

_Jazzman was at his computer, in the middle of the fucking build site, naked as a Jay bird, save the god damn cowboy hat on his head, typing away when he spoke. "I don't think any of this is gonna do any good, Edward."_

_Bang! _

_I stopped drilling the holes into my plank, caught off guard by his comment. "What? That's not what you said yesterday, Jazz."_

_Alice was sitting on his lap now, and he was kissing her passionately. His hands were roaming, hers were in his hair, and she was grinding into his…_

_Ah fuck… Didn't need that visual._

_He stopped and looked at me while she laid her head on his bare shoulder, trailing her fingers up and down his chest, smiling at me. "I don't think the Ferrari is the direction you wanna head in, dude, it's all wrong." He said, then went back to kissing Alice._

_Bang! Bang!_

_I started to say something to him when dad walked up in his surgery gear through one of the open doorways, hands up in the air, like he'd just scrubbed. He pulled his mask down long enough to say "He's right, Edward. You can't avoid me forever, after all." Then he kept walking and disappeared through the wall._

_The Swan was leaning up against one of the piles of two by fours on the other side of the room, one of her legs was hitched up so her foot was resting on the planks a little higher than the ground and she was licking a lollipop seductively, staring at me like I was something to eat. _

_She was wearing the leather._

_Bang! Bang!_

_I dropped my drill and started to stalk over to her when Alice yelled "Edward! Watch out!"_

"_What?" I asked, and instinctively turned my head upward to see what was going to fall on me. _

_It was Jess, standing on the unfinished roof above us, watching me with disappointment in her eyes. She looked just like she did the last night I'd seen her._

"_Jess?" I scrunched my eyebrows, confused as hell._

"_Edward!" Alice called out again._

"_What are you doing here?" I asked Jess._

_She turned and walked away. "Wait!" I yelled out._

_Mike Newton was outside with Muldoon, they were laughing._

"Edward!"

_Bang bang bang bang bang!_

"I know you're in there Edward Anthony Cullen! OPEN. THE. DOOR!"

Consciousness crept into my head, and I blinked.

_Jess._

Bang bang bang!

I cleared my throat. "Coming." I rolled over to see what time it was and fell off of the couch.

"Shit. Not in the bed."

"EDWARD!"

"I'm fucking coming Alice!" _Jesus._

I picked myself up off of the floor, licking my lips and smacking my mouth to try and get some moisture in it again as I made my way over to open the door.

Sharp pain seared through the heel of my foot and I looked down to see blood starting to ooze. "What the fuck." Then I remembered throwing the shot glass the night before.

I hopped the rest of the way over to the door and opened it, bending over to pull the damn glass out of my foot.

Alice's giggles always annoyed me when they were at my expense on a good day. Today they drove me over the edge.

She looked me up and down as I leaned my hand against the door frame and stretched it up to the top, holding onto it while I scratched my side, bending my leg at the knee to hold my foot up.

"You, look…" She didn't quite know how to finish, so she just nodded her head.

"What the fuck are you doing here so early, Alice?" I asked her, annoyed as fuck, not quite able to open my eyes all the way yet.

She pushed past me and said "_Early? _Edward, it's one o'clock in the afternoon." She laid the garment bag over the couch back and started picking shit up. The bottle of Tequila was almost empty and I felt a tad bit of disappointment in myself for not polishing that shit off.

"God Edward…" She said, taking the bottle to the kitchen. "Is this your answer to everything now?" She asked, pouring the last bit of liquid down the sink.

_Note to self, pick up another bottle of Patron today._

"Pretty much." I said, more to myself than her though.

_Wait… One fucking o'clock? Shit._

I looked at the clock, and god damn, she was right. I didn't have a lot of fucking time to do shit I needed to do before tonight.

I needed to call Rose, find out what she knew about Red Ferrari guy, if anything… send an annoying, sexually charged text to The Swan… get with Jazzman about the cross referencing shit, depending on what Rose knows…

"What are you thinking about?" Alice broke into my thoughts, probably noticing the scowl on my face.

I looked over at her, and then hopped my way to the T5, putting her away gently. "Nothing, just work shit."

She watched me putting the guitar away. "You were playing?" she asked, pointing at it with her nose.

"Yeah, Alice, I do play still, I didn't fucking give it up completely you know."

Eying the papers sitting next to the guitar case, she went to reach for them. "Yeah, but when was the last time you _wrote _something?"

I leaned over the coffee table and snatched the papers before she could get a good look at them. "Ever hear about curiosity killing the fucking cat Alice?"

"Geeze, touchy…" She held her hands up in surrender and changed the subject, smiling. _Annoying pixy like younger sister creature._ "Your suit's in here, and you should wear the black Italian Leather shoes I got you…."

She was still talking when the word 'leather' triggered a memory of The Swan from my dream earlier. I tried to clearly imagine her from the dream, leaning against the wood pile, licking the lollipop, what color was she wearing?

"Fucking leather…" I mumbled.

"What?" Alice asked, giggling again.

"Nothing."

Alice gave up finally and smiled, then kissed me on the cheek before hugging me tight. "Alice, ouch." I said, teasing her. "Can't… breathe…" She always over fucking compensating for the rest of the family.

I laughed at her when she pulled away. "I'll see you later, Edward."

"Thanks Alice, for the suit… and … I guess for fucking waking me up." I smiled and she just shook her head as I closed the door behind her when she left.

I raked my hands through my hair, staring at the suit laying over the couch.

I hobbled to the kitchen, throwing the papers in my hand on to the desk in the dining room on my way. Then I cleaned my foot up and decided to vacuum the living room, making sure to get all the tiny pieces up so I didn't have another fucking bloody foot incident. After putting the rest of my shit away and feeling satisfied with a nice, clean fucking living area, I picked up the suit and headed back to the bedroom to hang it up for later.

When I came back out into the living room, I noticed Jess's file and put it back into my home filing cabinet and let my hand rest on the top of it for a minute.

"One night of feeling sorry for yourself is enough for now, don't you think Cullen?"

I got my shower, talked to Jazzman, who sounded awfully fucking happy if you ask me, and said he'd see me later. I didn't quite catch the meaning of that statement until I was on my way over to Rose's to look at her client roster.

_Alice was taking him to the celebra-fuckery._

_Huh._

As I drove up to Rose's I saw Emmett leaving, which was fucking weird, considering he didn't work this side of town, ever.

I decided to wait him out in the Vanquish before heading in. One run in with him this week was enough for me.

"Rose." I said, walking up to her. She was leaning over her front counter, looking through the Yellow fucking pages. "Whatcha lookin' for?" I asked, when she didn't acknowledge me, eyeing the pages over her shoulder. She was fingering a page listing a fuck ton of hair dressers.

"Going somewhere?" I goaded.

Not looking up from her search for whatever the fuck it was, she pointed over to a host stand type table with a stool setting next to it and said "Roster's over there Cullen, help yourself."

So I did.

I picked up the clip board from its hangar on the wall and started thumbing through it. "What day, do you remember?"

"No I don't remember the day, Cullen, sometime last week." Was all she gave me as she ripped the piece of paper out of the book. "I'm closing in ten, so hurry up." She leaned herself back against the counter with her elbows, watching me impatiently.

"Somewhere to go, Rose?" I asked, taking my index finger and following the list of entries down the sheet I was on.

"Nine minutes, Cullen."

I smiled. "Ah!" I'd found it. "Shit, it's a different plate."

_Well fuck._

"…and the name just says Ar…row…"

_No._

"Shipping."

_Fucking… way._

Not good. All kinds of fucking alarms and bells and fucking whistles were going off, and I was getting that feeling again, like Jess's murder was right under my fucking nose and I just couldn't see it. Even if the plates WERE different. Hell all that meant was that they had access to several plates. That's not hard to do if you're a major fucking criminal and can get plates made that don't even fucking originate here.

"Rose." I began quietly, scowling. "Do you remember anything about this guy? Anything at all?"

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

"Um…I'm pretty sure it was a woman, actually."

That didn't make sense.

"A woman, are you sure?"

"Yeah… yeah I remember, because she has on some fuck ugly outfit, like it was picked out randomly. Didn't go with driving a Ferrari at all."

"Weird… okay, what'd she look like?" Maybe it was just an Admin or something from Arrow.

She shrugged. "I don't know, regular height, dirty blonde maybe, um… it was all tucked under the hood of her jacket and she had sun glasses on… She never looked me in the eye, didn't stay long, just kind of threw the keys to the car on the counter and left in a hurry. The pick-up was after hours, so I didn't see her again. I don't know Edward, sorry."

I was furrowing my brow hard, trying to think of anyone I knew that fit that description, no one was coming to mind though.

I wrote the info down on a scrap piece of paper and thanked Rose, stuffing the paper in my pocket, making a mental note to visit fucking Arrow Shipping. We walked out together and she locked up before leaving.

Curiosity was finally getting to me finally, so I decided to just fucking ask her "Rose, what was Em doing here earlier?"

She didn't look at me. "Just, you know, stopping by, he always does that."

_He did?_

"He does?"

She turned her head like she was looking for her keys or some bullshit like that, but I was pretty sure if I'd seen her face, she might have been… blushing? Nah.

"Yeah Cullen, it's no big deal." She said it with just a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"And… he still hasn't asked you out, huh?" I just threw it out there, what the hell.

She turned to me now, at first she looked fucking annoyed as hell that I'd just called her out, but then she raised an eyebrow and said matter of factly, "Well, you know, your brother _is_ an idiot, Cullen."

_Don't I fucking know it._

"Yeah, good luck with that by the way." I winked and she said "No worries there, Edward, trust me… see ya later." She smiled and winked and then she was off.

That was the second person today that said they'd see me later. What, was everyone coming to this fucking function?

Okay, so two out of three things crossed off of my to-do list today. The third I had to think about. And I did. As I drove back toward home, I wondered what the fuck The Swan was doing today and why the hell she never responded to my texts the day before.

I mean, that's fucking rude, right?

"To text or not to text, Swan, _that_… is the question." I mumbled, sitting in the Vanquish at a red light.

I watched a group of Officers exit the Ram's Head and Mike Newton was one of them.

He laughed and joked like he was one of them, but my gut told me he wasn't. He was like that really shiny fucking apple, sitting on top of all the other duller looking apples compared to it, so you pick that one, but when you fucking bit into it, it's fucking rotten.

That was Newton, a god damn rotten motherfucking apple, and I was the farmer that needed to weed him out.

I just needed to dig in and fucking find out what the hell he was up to.

_Not today though._

The light turned green and I slipped the phone into my jacket pocket.

Screw it. I'd save the sexually charged smart ass remarks for later.

By the time I was dressed and ready, I realized I was just about to be teetering on fashionably late, and really fucking late.

Not that I gave a shit, but if I showed up and The Swan had already left, I might need to skip the texting all together and corner her at her own home.

I picked up the Colt, and my keys and headed out.

What? The Colt is like a fucking Visa card people, I never leave home without it.

I pulled up to the Hay-Adams and the fucking twelve year old looking valet took my keys from me. I handed him half of a fifty dollar bill and he just raised an eyebrow at me.

"You get the other half on top of your regular tip if there's no fucking scratches on her when I get her back. Comprende?"

He nodded and stuffed the bill into his shirt pocket, taking off with my car. I eyed the hotel, took a long drag of air, and headed in to what would hopefully be a painless evening.

I know, wishful fucking thinking.

The ball room reserved for this fuckery was huge, and the number of people there, quite frankly, blew me away. I mean what the fuck was the Mayor doing this shit for? Press? Publicity? The sympathy vote?

_Yeah, that last one sounded about right._

"Edward!"

_Oh. Yay. Emmett's here. _

I nodded once as he made his way over to me, drinks in hand, like he was fucking expecting me or some shit like that.

_Of course he was expecting me._

Alice wasn't far behind him, with Jasper flanking her. Alice was in one of her own designs, a champagne colored, mid calf number with all that fucking, lacy shit around the bottom of it. She looked flawless, as usual. Jasper was wearing more clothes than I'd ever seen him in since I'd met him. Jeans, a plain white button down complete with bolo and boots to match.

The two of them looked like they were an old married couple. I take that back, anyone can be an old married couple; these two looked like an old _happily _fucking married couple.

I actually had to smile at them.

Scanning the room though, there was no sign of The Swan.

"Lookin' good Edward. What's the occasion?" Emmett boomed, teasing me. Sometimes, I fucking swear, it seemed like we'd never been at odds, and I couldn't fucking stop myself from giving him a snarky answer.

"I'm incognito, Em, I'm trying to look like I give a fuck. How's it coming off?"

He laughed. "Failing, miserably." He handed me a beer and I took it, downing the whole fucking thing in one swig.

"Relax" He laughed, but he just had no fucking idea was he was asking.

"Tell me you're not buying in to this case being closed, Em." I prodded.

He took a long drag of his beer and swallowed, then said "I buy in to the system Edward, you know that."

He sounded like a fucking robot which made me wanna say "Take me to your leader" and do the little arm movements like the tin can from "Lost In Space", only part of me was scared he actually would, and the Edward Cullen you all know and fucking love would be replaced with Stepford Edward, complete with "yes sirs" and "will do's" and a side of "Fuck me up and ass, please".

So instead I just told him "Some things never change, huh Em."

He rolled his eyes and took another drag of the beer, ignoring me.

I nodded to Jasper "Sup man? What brings you out to this bullshit?"

His arm never left Alice's waist as he looked at her adoringly. "Your sister is, _very_ persuasive." He answered, twang in full swing. She smirked at him and I was coming up with a retort for that remark when a familiar voice sounded from behind me.

"Edward."

I eyed Emmett. "You fucking told dad?" I mouthed to him without speaking.

He smiled like that kid that just got fucking busted for doing shit he knew god damn well he shouldn't have been doing. "Was that wrong?" He mouthed back.

_Smart ass._

"I'm gonna need another drink." I told him, and he just laughed, pointing his finger at me like a gun, then turned to go get each of us another beer.

I rolled my eyes before catching Alice's stare and she gave me that fucking "be nice" look of hers just before I turned around to greet my parents.

I mean, this wasn't awkward at all, considering the last time I'd see him we fought like barbarians and said shit that we couldn't ever take back. So I greeted mom first.

"Hey ma… dad" I nodded at him once, then leaned in and kissed mom's cheek. She grabbed me and pulled me in tight. An Alice move. "Ma." I whined when she wouldn't let me go.

"I can't help it Edward, you never call, you don't come by… I'd never know if you were dead or alive if it weren't for Alice filling us in." I gave dad a look from the corner of my eye and he diverted.

_Yeah, good call dad._

"Sorry ma." I kissed her again, pulling away, feeling like an ass.

"Congratulations, Edward." Dad piped in, remaining ever so professional, even among family. "Where's your friend? Bella right?" He asked. It confused me for a minute when he said her name like that, and then I remembered why he knew her.

"No idea dad." I answered him, blowing the question off. "Ya know, you didn't have to come to this thing, it's just a load of god damn bullshit the Mayor's blowing up my ass anyway."

"Edward, please watch your language." Mom said.

_Boy, this night couldn't get much better than this. _

"Sorry about the G.D., ma." I winked at her and she smiled back, but gave me that look of hers, like she could still whip my ass if she needed to.

She was probably fucking right.

Emmett was back with my beer and handed it to me.

_Thank god._

Just as I put the bottle to my lips to start chugging that one too, he whistled, staring at the entrance doors all deer in the headlights looking, so I lowered my drink and followed his line of vision to see…

"Holy…" I started.

"Fuck. Me." Emmett finished.

The Swan and Rose had arrived... Decked. To. The. Fucking. Nines.

"Em." I said, swallowing.

"Yeah?" He answered. Neither one of us able to take our eyes off of the two beautiful women that had just walked in.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

"Truuuuue dat, little bro." He said, and we clinked bottles before taking our drinks.

The Swan was fucking… hell, I didn't even have god damn words for that shit. The way she'd done her hair up, with those little fucking feminine wispy things hanging down in curls, and her make-up was… wow, and the heels, just the right height for her frame. And don't even get me started on the fucking dress… I mean, Jesus, that color on her was…

"Perfect." I whispered.

My blood was racing and I could feel my heart pumping in my chest. I don't know what the fuck that was all about.

"Son?" Dad was interjecting his over bearing voice into my Swan fantasy and that shit was pissing me off. So I asked him "What." In a very cold, calculated tone.

"I was just wondering how your friend Seth is. How did you meet him anyway?"

I shook my head, scowling as I forced my eyes to look away from The Swan and her 'bend me over and fuck me right now in the closet of this ballroom please' dress and told him "He's just this homeless kid, dad, he ran into some trouble, and he's fine I guess. Hopefully making the right decision as we speak."

I took another drink, wondering if Seth had taken off with the hundred dollars I'd given him for his task, or if I'd see him on Sunday to further his pain and suffering.

I smiled thinking about my plan for him.

"Homeless? Is he dangerous?" Mom asked, a little concerned. She overreacted on most occasions, don't be surprised.

"Hardly, ma." I told her, rolling my eyes. "He's a good kid, he just needs someone to give a shit." I ended the sentence looking pointedly at dad, and he stared me down. "Perhaps he's like most kids these days, and just doesn't recognize when someone… _gives a shit_."

_You don't wanna go there dad._

"Well… Maybe when someone… _gives a shit_, they should make sure they actually say… they give a shit, because _sometimes,_ being a complete dick can be misconstrued as, oh, I don't know, _being a dick_."

Dad and I were getting to that point again, the one where we leave civility completely behind and start just bashing each other, I could feel it. His jaw tightened and my hand grasped the bottle I was holding tightly.

Alice grabbed my arm before anything else could be said between dad and I though. "Edward, I need a drink, come with."

She tugged on me on one side, while dad and I continued staring at each other, each willing the other to give up, and Jasper was on the other side of me, his hand on my shoulder. "Dude…"

"Yeah. Right. Ma, you want anything?"

"Nothing for me, dear, thank you though." She was rubbing dad's arm in a calming manner, saying something quietly to him and I couldn't help but wonder what the fuck she ever said to him to make him digress from shit.

I walked off with Alice and Jasper, leaving dad, mom and Emmett and couldn't help but feel like the South when they were fighting the North in the Civil War, I just stood no chance against the three of them.

_Never surrender, Cullen. Live it, learn it, love it._

"Edward, you have to find away around this general hatred you seem to have for dad."

_Hatred?_

"Alice, I don't hate the man, I just fucking… hate his tactics. His shit doesn't fly with me and he can't fucking stand it."

She shook her head at me, but smiled, knowing I was too damn hard headed to make a point about anything having to do with dad, and then nudged me toward the free standing table ahead of us.

The Swan was standing in line at the bar we were walking toward, and I was once again distracted from my anger at the sight of her fucking stunning ass figure standing there. Her completely vulnerably naked neck was just calling to me "Come, kiss me, suck here… right…"

I laughed through my nose and shook my head, getting a closer look at what she was wearing. I'd recognize Alice's work anywhere. I leaned toward Alice and whispered "I guess now I know what all that covert operation shit with you earlier was now. That's one of yours, isn't it?" I nodded at The Swan.

She just laughed and patted my back. "It's okay Edward, she's still Bella underneath that Greek goddess standing there."

_Greek fucking goddess, indeed. Aphro-motherfucking-Dite to be exact._

She left me, along with Jasper and I silently cursed and thanked them simultaneously for their evil planning as I approached The Swan, recalling some of Aphrodite's attributes to keep my mind occupied and steering clear from thoughts that might get both of us thrown into jail.

_Georgeous, perfect… eternally young… check. Potent sexual attractiveness… dazzling beauty… check._

Her back was mostly to me and she was talking to a cop who thought he was all that, but I could tell she wasn't interested. Her posture was stiff and she was forcing laughter. It wasn't anywhere close to the jovial, uncontrolled fucking laughing she'd done the other night at my office.

_In my god damn arms, motherfucker._

I walked up and put my shoulder in between them, leaning my hand against the bar counter and turned toward her, completely cutting the cop with off from all communication, with no chance to ever get anywhere with her.

_Poor bastard._

I fingered one of the wispy curls of auburn hair dangling from her head, watching my finger intertwine with it while I spoke to her.

"Eddy Jr. is not happy with you, Miss Swan, ignoring him like that yesterday. I think you hurt his feelings." I smirked and let my eyes find hers. She bit her lip, blushing, and looking me up and down with her eyes while she was at it, making me forget all about the discussion with dad moments ago.

_Dad who?_

Goose bumps formed on her arms from the touch of my fingers that barely grazed her skin while I played with her hair.

"Buy you a drink?" I asked her, putting the curl back into place among the rest of them.

She rolled her eyes at me but smiled. "It's open bar, Cullen."

Her voice was on seductress mode, which put Eddy Jr. on full alert.

"Um, excuse me?" The cop from behind me interrupted. I ignored his ass and continued giving a hard time to The Swan. Pun intended my friends.

"Sweet, cheap date." I said, wiggling my eyebrows.

"Oh, we're on a date now?" She said, playing along. "I don't remember being asked out on said date."

"Maybe you would have, had you returned my texts…" I reminded her, lifting one side of my mouth to smirk at her sexy ass.

"Cullen, if you'd asked me out on a date using your… _proven_… texting capabilities; I might have had to hunt you down and kicked your ass."

The dick-hole in back of me cleared his throat. I might have turned my head a bit out of sheer annoyance, but other than that, I paid him no mind.

"Swan, I highly doubt you could kick my ass." I laughed.

"Oh really…" She said, looking surprised, "Is that a challenge, Cullen?"

Hmmm. "Do you want it to be, Swan?" Sparring with The Swan could definitely prove interesting to say the least. I was gonna have to make that happen.

She narrowed her eyes at me, playfully and said "Perhaps I do."

Jesus, she smelled so fucking delicious, I wanted to lift her up and over my shoulder, and take her up to a god damn room right then and there and say goodbye to the fuck me dress once and for all.

_Screw you, fuck me dress… screw you._

"Hellooooooo." The cop was saying.

Have I even mentioned how I fucking hate interruptions?

I put a finger up to The Swan, furrowing my brow and jetting my chin out a bit and she nodded as I turned to the guy. "Yeah?" I asked him, all kinds of fucking interested in what he was gonna say.

That's a joke, I really couldn't give a rats ass what this dickhead had to say.

"You kinda ruined a moment here, dude." He advised me, nodding toward The Swan, as though he had fucking rights to her or some shit like that because he happened to be fucking standing next to her.

_Idiot._

"Oh. A moment. Wow, hmmmm, sorry about that… here…" I pulled out my wallet, removed a bill, took his hand in mine and shoved a ten spot into it. "Why don't you take this, tip one of the nice fucking waiters around here to guard a closet for ya for about five minutes and finish that… _moment_ off all by yourself there, sport."

I smiled as I shoved him off along his way and turned back around just as the bartender was asking "May I get you something?"

I advised him "Patron Silver Margarita, on the rocks, no salt for the lady, and a shot of said Patron for me."

I went to start in on The Swan again but she now had a serious crease going on between her eyebrows and her mouth was hanging just slightly open.

I laughed at her. "What, Swan? I am a fucking P.I., I pay attention to shit."

"Oh yeah? What's that guy drinking?" She nodded to some random cop in the corner of the room. I looked at him and then back at The Swan. "I really don't give a shit about that guy." I said, a little serious now.

"Oh?" She asked, smirking at me. "And why's that?"

I bent down a little to whisper into her ear when I answered her, still leaning on the bar. "Because he probably doesn't smell as good as you… and I'm _pretty sure_ he doesn't give the best blow jobs this side of the continent."

I straightened back up as the bartender was setting our drinks down and I put a twenty in his jar.

"Thank you sir." He said, giving a slight bow.

I picked up the drinks and motioned for The Swan to lead the way. She was blushing hard now and biting her fucking bottom lip again, and it made me smile wide at her. "Swan, there's gonna be a riot of you don't move your ass soon."

She finally fucking woke up, turned to start walking and bumped right into Carlisle.

"Bella." He said, smiling.

She smiled back at him, looking only slightly surprised to see him. "Carlisle, hi."

"There goes the neighborhood." I mumbled.

"What was that, son?"

"Nothing." I smiled a fake smile for him.

Mom hooked her arm around mine and introduced herself to The Swan. "I'm Esme, dear. I hear you're working with Edward?"

"Was… ma, _was_ working with me, the fucking…" She eyed me. "Sorry, the Mayor shut the case down before we could really find out what the f… what happened."

The Swan looked annoyed and was starting to say something when…

"Yo! Edward!" Emmett yelled, walking over with Rose on his arm. "We have a table?"

"No, Em… _Weeee _don't have anything… I was just…"

"Bella!" Alice hollered, walking up to all of us with Jasper.

_Jesus! Is this fucking all in the god damn family now? Or WHAT?_

"You look, flawless." Alice told The Swan, kissing her on her cheek.

"I told her she did." Rose added.

"Mom, you met Bella, right? Isn't she beautiful? I love that color on her, don't you Edward?"

She's so full of shit, she already knew the answer to that question.

"Alice…" The Swan warned her. See? She was sick of this shit already too.

I downed my shot and wondered how much I'd have to tip the bartender for the whole fucking bottle when the Jazzman caught my eye and wiggled a bottle of Patron at me that he'd already scored from across the room.

_Good call my friend._

I smiled and nodded and made way through the crowd of family threatening to snuff the last bit of air out of my lungs any fucking minute and sat the glasses down at the nearest of many round tables I could find.

I held The Swan's chair out for her, eliciting yet another odd look from her. She sat her ass down though, and I scooted her in before taking my seat.

As I lowered myself, I leaned into her to say "Do you wanna know what you're doing to Eddy Jr. right now, Swan?"

She glanced down to where Eddy Jr. resides and then looked me in the eyes and asked back "Do you wanna know what Eddy Jr.s doing to _ME_, Cullen?" lifting an eyebrow and giving me the sexiest god damn smile I'd ever seen.

_Why yes, yes I do. _

I sat down, smiling at her, and added "That fucking color by the way? Created for you."

She didn't answer me that time. She just looked, confused.

I was trying to read her thoughts when a certain couple of people who by themselves annoyed the shit out of me lately, but together, made my stomach churn.

Newton and the Mayor were just beyond our table, mingling supposedly. Just the fact that the Mayor was talking with Newton made me feel like something was up. They were saying something to one another and I only caught a little bit of their conversation before the crowd drowned them out.

"Make it happen." The Mayor was saying, and Newton answered "Not gonna let you down sir, Muldoon is…" Then I couldn't hear him anymore.

_Fuck._

I was debating making like a stealthy P.I. guy and following the two of them around a little bit to find out a few more tidbits pertaining to their relationship, when dad distracted me.

"So!" he started, clapping his hands together. "Tell us about this case Edward, Emmett says the Lieutenant was quite thrilled with how things went having the two of you working on it together."

I almost would have called the look on his face, pride, until he added "I think it's great that you're on DCPD's radar again, you might even be able to confirm yourself a spot on the force still if you…"

_Bingo, there's the old 'you're just not good enough' attitude I know and love._

"Dad, don't." I warned him.

I needed another drink for this conversation. Thankfully, Jazzman was sitting to my left and I grabbed the bottle, pouring it to the rim of my shot glass.

He put his hands up in question. "Don't what?" He almost laughed. "I just don't understand why a little leverage to get yourself back on track would…"

"I am… on track dad. Just not YOUR track."

"Well." He stated, smugly might I add, "It USED to be your track also, if I recall correctly."

"Things change dad." I said in a monotone voice, I didn't want him knowing he was touching on a soft spot.

"They didn't change for your brother…" He had to do it, he had to throw in the jab about Em doing what he wanted and I… well… didn't.

"I can't help that he's a _yes man_."

Em laughed, trying to sound light hearted about it, but I felt the undertone. "Come on, Edward, we used to bust on all those idiot P.I. guys, Edward, now you're…" He noticed the look on The Swan's face now and I had to turn to see what I was missing.

I laughed into my hand, because that was a look usually only reserved for me. The "are you fucking crazy?" look. It was nice to see it directed at someone else for a change. "No offense Bells, but come on… I mean…"

"Oh… No offense taken, Em." She sarcastically raised her eyebrows to him, taking a sip of her Margarita. "As long as you're not offended by the fact that we make about five times what you make as… _just a police officer_." She smiled and he laughed, as did the rest of my family.

"Damn Bells, you cut deep. But just so we're all clear…" he looked around at all of us. "That's gonna be _just a detective_ soon." He tilted his beer to her and she held her glass up, then they each drank.

Now if I'd said that shit… Ya know what, fuck it. It didn't really matter anyway.

Inside I felt my heart pumping harder again. I didn't know for sure if it was from getting pissed the fuck off by dad and Em, or from feeling privileged and shit that The Swan was actually defending my… well, OUR profession the way she just did.

Emmett didn't really know when to back off from shit very often, and this conversation was apparently no different, because then he added "Seriously though Edward, you _were_ second in your class man…"

"Only to you, right Em?" I noted as I held my shot up to him and then threw it back.

I could feel the stares. All of them, looking at me, looking at Em. Even dad was getting eyeballed. I didn't care, I just wanted to fucking get out of there. It wasn't like I'd asked for this god damn event anyway.

"Woulda been third." He answered quietly, tilting his beer to me and taking a drink.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I stood up, knowing fully fucking well what he'd just said, waiting to see if he had the nerve to repeat that shit.

Alice started to interrupt us. "Guys. Cut it out."

"We all miss her Edward." Emmett continued.

"Emmett…" Mom warned him.

Bile was rising in the back of my throat. I wasn't letting him do this shit tonight.

"Bullshit Em… don't fucking give me that shit. If you missed her you wouldn't have fucking betrayed her memory by siding with the same god damn people who killed her."

Now _he_ stood up, pushing his chair over. "According to _who?_ Edward? You and your wacked out conspiracy theories?"

Rose watched him carefully, and a few tables around us started staring as he made his way around the table, but not before Jazzman stood up in between us and put his hand on Em's chest, stopping him.

"That's far enough dude." He said to him, and Emmett looked down at him asking "And you are?"

"You don't wanna fucking know." He answered. Emmett looked back up to me and met my stare.

"It's all good Jazzman," I said to him, losing my shit and completely up for a ballroom brawl with big bro. "By all means, let him by."

We glared at each other for who knows how long, chests rising and falling fast with from the adrenalin we were both spewing no doubt… Then I heard mom.

"Edward." She said, quietly, trying to calm me, the way she always does, but quite fucking honestly, it was too late.

"Ma, look, I'm sorry, but this is bullshit and you know it. We've talked about this."

"You have?" My dad asked her. She didn't answer.

_Sorry ma._

I could literally feel The Swan's eyes on me. I didn't look at her though, didn't wanna see the look on her face, the pity she probably felt, or the confusion I didn't want to have to explain away.

"Guys." Alice stated again.

"Yeah, you're both being assholes. Which doesn't surprise me, but this IS a party." Rose added.

Emmett took a cue and decided to back off, probably to make a good impression on dad, or Rose, or both… and went to sit down again. He fixed his chair and became the conversationalist again. "I just don't get why you had to go to extremes, Edward, you'd have been detective way before now if you hadn't…"

"OKAY!" I stopped him. "I think I've had about enough of Edward Cullen, this could have been your life…" I pushed my chair out while picking the bottle of Patron up and leaving the table.

"Have a great evening everyone… because Edward…" I took a drink. "…is leaving the building." I finished, raising the bottle to them in salute, and then I left. They were all still sitting there, having a grand old conversation, no doubt about how I coulda, woulda, shoulda done a lot of things different with my life.

_Well here's a fucking quarter, call someone who cares._

I scowled my way across the god damn room, memories blurring in and out of my head of some of the last conversations Em and I'd had about Jess before I left the Academy.

I found a nice quiet, edge of the party corner, near some double doors that led out to a court yard. I decided outside was the best side of this place at that point in fucking time, and pushed the doors open to get some fresh air.

I closed my eyes and breathed in. It was fucking cold as shit out that night, but the air felt good against my lungs. Like I could fucking breathe again.

I could hear Emmett in my head that last night at the Academy, before I'd made my final decision.

"_Ya gotta trust the system, bro. DCPD knows what it's doing."_

"_Trust them! Em, Jess. Is. DEAD. That wasn't a fucking accident." _

"_Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but we're not in any position to question the process man, maybe if you write up your theory in a justification…"_

"_Justi…!" _I was hysterical._ "JUSTIFICATION! Em, this is JESS we're talking about. How can you sit there and let them tell you she was mistaken about that shit, what happened to following our guts, and bucking the fucking system, and weeding out the bad guys?"_

He'd shrugged thoughtfully, and then said _"Sometimes we gotta do what we know is wrong in our gut, to make something pay off in the long run, Edward. Things aren't perfect, but ya gotta trust someone. Trust me."_

"_Well you sure as shit are showing your true colors tonight, aren't you Em." _I'd told him, then threw my hands up in surrender and said _"I'm outta here." _

He'd put his hand on my shoulder then, stopping me from moving all together. _"You can't leave Edward… we're doing this together, remember?"_

"_I can't support a Police force that turns a blind eye on someone who laid her fucking life down for them, before she was even fucking official, trying to do the job of people who couldn't fucking do it themselves apparently."_

He hadn't had many more words for me at that point, he watched me pack my things in silence and then watched me walk out of our dorms the night before graduation, leaving him with his perfect fucking police force, in a sincerely fucked up city.

Back in the present, I leaned against the railing that led out to the courtyard and took a nice long drink of the Patron, feeling the burn trickle down my throat, making my eyes water, when I heard a soft voice behind me.

"Kinda early for 'Drunken Stupor Cullen', don't you think?"

I swallowed the poison, not looking back at her. Her voice was soothing, and then I felt her hand on my arm and part of me could suddenly identify with how mom had the effect on dad that she did.

I laughed quietly, "And exactly when IS a good time for 'Drunken Stupor Cullen.' then, Swan?"

She came around to stand next to me and leaned against the railing too. She was shaking visibly, rubbing her hands up and down her arms for friction, so I took my jacket off and put it around her. She grabbed it and pulled it tighter.

"Thanks." She said, taking the bottle out of my hand and throwing it back like a pro. When she brought it back down, she licked her lips, looking at me with sincerity in her eyes. "Listen, Cullen…"

I knew that tone. It could lead to nothing but serious talk about my family, and Jess, and shit I didn't really wanna fucking get into with her just then.

Turning to her, I stared into her eyes, feeling the crease in my eyebrows forming, and all I really wanted to do was to kiss her on those plump lips of hers. Hard. And maybe fuck her in a closet.

_Shit, cocksucker and fuck me._

Since the closet thing would probably be rude, I decided to kiss her instead.

I took the bottle from her slowly and set it down on the ground.

As my body made its way to stand back upright, my eyes travelled over her, from her fucking heels that made the muscles in her calves stand out, to the skin just above her knees that was showing - that I was dying to squeeze just to make her jump and laugh again by the way, to her waist that fit perfectly in my hand, her breasts that were heaving now, her neck that was calling out to me, begging to be kissed and suckled on …

_I'll get to you later. _

I put my hand on the side of her face, thumbing those lips of hers. "I don't wanna be fucking psychoanalyzed right now, Swan." I said.

"No?" She asked softly, swallowing hard.

_Fuck. _

"No." I answered her. "Would you like to know what I prefer to do, Swan?"

She nodded, closing her eyes, leaning her head into my hand. "It's okay." She whispered.

I didn't wait another god damn second. I lowered my lips to hers and reached my other hand around to the back of her neck, holding her still, so I could molest her mouth. In a good way.

She whimpered into my mouth, letting it open just a tad so I could slip my tongue in and taste the Patron that was still lingering in her lips.

Her hands slinked around to my back, gliding their way up to my hair, fisting it and my jacket fell off from around her, but she didn't really seem to give a shit to tell you the truth, so neither did I.

I kicked the door closed behind us, shutting us off from the crowd inside and lifted her up, setting her sweet little ass onto the railing and against the wall, so we were invisible to anyone passing by the doors from the inside.

The Swan pulled herself into me, grinding her chest against my own and I felt a growl forming in my throat.

I left one hand behind Swan's neck, and the other roamed her body, down along her side, grazing her breast, stopping to grab at her waist for a moment.

I got the distinct fucking impression that Eddy Jr. was somehow passing Morse Code to my hand giving it signals to "move along soldier" because the next thing I knew, it was moving further down the soft fabric of her deep blue 'fuck me dress' until I found the hem at the bottom of it.

Soldier hand slipped underneath, feeling the bare skin there.

_So fucking soft._

The Swan kissed me a little deeper, humming softly, telling me she liked the skin to skin contact just as much as I did, so I let my hand continue to lead the way, palming her soft, warm, inviting skin up over her knee, along her thigh until...

_Holy Mary mother of all that is fair and good in this world, The Swan had no fucking underwear on._

_And she was fucking bare as a baby's bottom._

"Jesus Christ, Swan." I said, pulling away from our kiss finally and leaning my forehead against hers, my hand stopped in mid-stride like it had been shocked into a motionless statue or some shit like that.

She asked breathlessly, "What the fuck are you waiting for, Cullen, a god damn invitation?"

"Shit." Was all I had for her.

I finished my ascent to the heat she was radiating from her completely shaved pussy, and slipped a finger between her folds, claiming a low, quiet "shhhhit." From The Swan.

_Swan, meet my fingers. Fingers, meet The Swan's hot, wet, 'completely sucking on that later' pussy._

She crashed her lips to mine again, moaning, as I found her clit and rubbed it softly at first, but she was so fucking wet and Eddy Jr. was too fucking turned on to keep any sort of remnant of control intact.

"Mmm." I hummed into her mouth, unable to keep myself in check suddenly. I mean fuck she was making me nuts with the kissing alone, and her hands were in my hair, tugging at it, making me wanna go all kinds of caveman on her ass.

_Slow. The fuck. Down. _

I tried breathing in and out a little through my nose, concentrating on her, and not my god damn twitching dick for once.

I slipped another finger into her with the other one and she caught her breath, pulling away slightly from me. I looked at her. Her eyes were closed, she looked almost in pain.

"Are you okay, Swan?"

She did the lip biting thing again and nodded.

Suddenly I found myself wondering just exactly how experienced she was and when the last time was that she'd been properly fucking finger fucked.

"Swan."

"Yes?" She asked, raspy voice and all. When her hot breath hit the cold air around us, it turned to steam and then disappeared.

"Has anyone ever finger fucked you before?" I asked, pushing another finger in, and curling them around.

She sucked in some air. "Mmmm…" she hummed, nodding.

Okay, next question. "Was it a good finger fucking, Swan? Did they make you cum?"

I pressed deep, rubbing her clit with my thumb. The temperature making it frozen practically and she winced but it seemed to make her feel good because she bucked into my hand like a god damn cowgirl riding a wild stallion at the rodeo.

"No." She managed to choke out.

Well fuck. That's just wrong.

"Tell me who it was, Swan, and I'll fucking pistol whip their ass for fucking you over like that."

She smiled, tilting her head down a bit, blushing.

My blush, there it was. I fucking loved it. It was the thing that made me wanna hide her away so no one else would know the pot of fucking gold I'd found in her sheer genius.

I stepped up the game, feeling the urge now to make this so good for her that it ruined that shit for any other asshole that might have the pleasure of… well, pleasuring her.

Thinking about that shit pissed me off, so I shoved it out of my head before I started taking my bizarre thought pattern out on her and maybe hurting her in the process.

I slid my pinky finger in with the rest while I continued rubbing soft, cold circles on her clit, and then pulled it out and rubbed the area between her cunt and her other entrance.

"OHMYGOD." She spit out, jumping a little bit, and I almost laughed, she was so fucking cute and adorable when she did that shit.

"Feeling good, Swan?" I asked her.

"MMM HMMM." She moaned. I could feel her legs starting to shake as the loud speaker system from inside started to sound and I heard someone saying in muffled tones "We'd like to get this event under way by introducing you to our City's Mayor!"

The crowd cheered as I pumped my fingers into The Swans core and she held on tighter to me, fisting my shirt when I began to feel her walls tightening a little around them.

_So motherfucking good._

I cursed this fucking event for the umpteenth time today and wished to god I'd had her tucked away in a room somewhere with Eddy Jr. buried deep inside of her, instead of my god damn fingers.

"Are you gonna come, Swan?" I breathed. "Please fucking come for me, I wanna watch you cum." I murmured into her ear as I swirled my fingers inside of her, curling them at just… the right… moments… while she rolled her hips faster and faster into them.

She buried her head into my shoulder and I stopped, causing a low whimper to come out of her mouth and I smiled. "Swan."

"Hmmmm?" She asked, breathing heavily, and rolling her hips to encourage me to give her more.

"Look at me." I told her, my fingers still inside of her, my thumb still on her clit, and my head wanting to know just exactly what in the hell it was that I was gettin' it into with this woman.

She hesitated a little, but then looked me in the eyes, and I started moving them again as the Mayor was making some lame ass announcements inside.

"I want… to watch… you fucking come, Swan. I have this theory you see… that there can't possibly be anything more beautiful than watching you come, and I like to fucking confirm my theories. Nod once if you understand."

She nodded, and I moved a little more urgently inside of her.

"God damn, Swan, you feel … so…" I started as she writhed on my hand again, slowly this time. I had to close my eyes for a second.

"Yes?" She asked, her breath hitching once again.

"Fucking good." I finished. I kissed her lips, slipping my tongue into her mouth, watching her eyes on me. I pumped harder again as the crowd clapped and cheered again inside.

"And we'd like to now introduce you to our Power P.I.'s!" More cheering as I whispered "Come for me," against her lips.

"Shit," she whispered, looking straight at me, she furrowed her eyebrows and looked like she wanted to look away, but my Swan kept her eyes on mine.

"Good girl, Swan." I smiled, curling my fingers deeper and she came hard.

"Cullen, shit," she burst out and I did fucking laugh a little that time, because if I didn't know better, I'd have thought that was the first time she'd ever had a god damn orgasm all together.

She rolled her hips a few more times, getting all she could get out of her high, and then finally came back down, little by little until she was breathing normal again, the perfect fucking smile on her face told me it was good for her.

Shit, it was good for me too. Who was I kidding?

"Hell, Swan, another theory, proven perfect, by Edward Cullen, thank you." I said, and kissed her on the lips, a little fucking breathless myself… then her cheek, then I moved to her neck and she tilted it for me to get better access.

_Helloooo, neck. _

"You're such an ass, Cullen." She said, laughing. "But thank you, that was..." She trailed off, shaking her head, not finding the words, but I was pretty sure I knew what she was thinking.

"Mr. Edward Cullen, and Miss Isabella Swan!" I heard the Mayor exclaim and more cheering erupted, like we were the fucking "It Couple" of Hollywood or some shit like that.

I slowly, resentfully, removed my hand from the heated cocoon of The Swan's pussy, and she winced from the removal. Her orgasm's juices felt like they were freezing upon impact of the night air. I decided the suit jacket was the best thing to use for clean up, I could always hang it over my arm and pretend to be too warm for a fucking jacket.

I wiped away the juices on the inside of her thighs, and straightened her dress for her after I helped her down from the railing.

She wobbled a little and I caught her, holding her upright. "Can you walk?" I asked, stifling a laugh.

"Cullen? Miss Swan?" We heard over the loud speakers.

The Swan finally realized what was going on and got about ten shades of embarrassed. "OH my god, what are we supposed to do now?" She asked, freaking the fuck out a little bit.

I furrowed my brow and played with her hair some, and said "Now, we skip this bullshit and go find a room, because I still have a little something more in store for you, Swan." I made eye contact with her and she smiled a weak smile at me.

"Cullen!" The Mayor was screaming now, and The Swan made a pleading face at me "We should probably just get this over with, Cullen, he'll just send out a search party for us."

Yeah, she was probably right.

I folded the jacket over my arm as planned, and opened the door for her, following her in, asking "Isabella?"

She eyeballed me and said "Screw you Cullen."

I asked another question I needed the answer to before we made it into anyone's line of sight inside. "So why'd you leave the other night, Swan?"

She kept walking.

"Swan?"

She turned her head just as people started to notice us, and the Mayor announced "There they are! Welcome our heroes ladies and gentlemen!"

"Lots of reasons, Cullen, but mostly…"

People were clapping and smiling at us, I caught a glimpse of my family's table where dad and mom were now gone now and I felt a little bad about that.

Emmett was standing, arms crossed, looking disappointed as usual. Alice and Jasper clapped and Rose was slapping Emmett.

"Because no one's ever…" The Swan was saying something, but I didn't think I'd quite caught the jist of it.

"What?" I yelled over the crowd.

"I've never…" She said again, but I wasn't catching what the fuck she was saying still.

"What!" I yelled one more time.

She spun around on me just as we made it up to the stage. She was a little annoyed when she screamed out to me just as the crowd was dying down on us.

"Because I've never been orally satisfied by anyone before, okay!"

My eyes widened, my eyebrows shot up and my mouth fell open, twisting just a tad in embarrassment for her.

The Swan froze and turned about ten deeper shades of red than I'd ever seen her turn since meeting her and it was not in a good way.

The room was silent except for Emmett, who was laughing his sorry ass off in the back.

_Dick._

She was definitely gonna fucking kill me for that shit.

And I was going to have to tuck that bit of information away for another day, because I was pretty sure, she wasn't gonna be "showing me the money" anytime soon after this fuckery if ya know what I mean.

"UH, _well_…" The Mayor started talking again. "We'd like to errr… announce tonight…"

Muldoon started walking over to stand next to the Mayor, and everyone's attention seemed to divert back to them as the room started getting loud again.

Muldoon took the mic and began waving for us to come up on stage with them, and The Swan stood frozen still, her eyes glued to me.

I started up the stairs and nudged her a little. She turned back around and walked up the stairs, regaining her control over all bodily functions, looking nothing like the embarrassed woman from just a moment ago.

We were now standing right next to Muldoon and the Mayor when Muldoon said "We've certainly been impressed with how quickly this unfortunate circumstance was solved this week by these two."

The room clapped and he motioned for them to settle down, as the Mayor put on his "I'm a victim in all this shit" face.

"That's why we're proposing…"

I wasn't liking the sound of this all of a sudden. I looked out at Emmett, who was scowling and I thought, wow, for once we're on the same god damn page.

"A partnership of sorts. Working as a permanent consultant seat on the DC Police Force!"

_Oh, hell … motherfucking… no._

People started clapping again and I'd about had enough of the fucking bullshit with this guy.

"I don't fucking think so, Lieutenant." I blurted out, without even fucking thinking.

The Swan turned and frowned at me. "And why's that, Cullen?" She asked.

"Yes, Cullen, why's that?" Muldoon asked right behind her, a hundred kinds of curious.

"Are you fucking kidding me Lieutenant? How about first of all, there was nothing to fucking solve except for the line of bullshit you spewed up our asses… And how about number two, I. Don't. Fucking. Work. With. A. Part. Ner."

I didn't think the crease between The Swan's eyes could get any deeper, but when I said that last part, it did. And her eyes narrowed, and her lips pursed, and I realized finally, that I'd fucking stuck my foot in my mouth again.

_Shit._

An evil fucking smile spread across her lips out of nowhere, just when I thought she was about to go off on my ass, and she said "How about this Lieutenant?" She turned to the audience "A little… _friendly competition_ so to speak, yes?" She waited and the crowd started to cheer her on.

_What the Hell?_

She motioned to me and continued with her rant with enthusiasm. "Maybe my friend here can't handle a woman solving cases he's supposed to be working on, right?"

They cheered louder.

Fuck, what had I created with the mega orgasm shit anyway?

"Lieutenant?" She asked, turning to Muldoon. "I… propose, you split the workload, and Mr. Cullen and I both do our…" She eyed me. "Best… to solve said cases, the one who solves the most, the quickest, wins the seat on the force."

Loud clapping erupted and I saw Emmett in the back, pounding his hands together before he whistled. He caught my eyes in his and winked, nodding that I could do this.

_Did I wanna do this?_

Why was I even questioning that shit?

A better question was… Was The Swan on crack? She couldn't fucking solve shit faster than I could… she was as god damn green as they come. I had years of experience in the DC tri state fucking area over her… what the fuck was she trying to prove anyway?

"I don't think that's…"

"Oh?" She looked at me, surprised for the crowd "Afraid Mr. Cullen?" she asked seductively into the microphone.

Oh, no she did not motherfucking just call me… _afraid_.

I eyed her, trying to read her on this shit, but she wasn't giving anything up. "Yeah, okay, may the best man win then." I put my hand out and she took it. Hard. Ow. "You mean, the best, WOMAN, Mr. Cullen."

She handed the mic to Muldoon and walked off of the other side of the stage, waving to the crowd and I followed after her, trying to catch up, hearing Muldoon behind me laughing "Well then, there we have it ladies and gentlemen, we'll be sure and keep everyone posted as to the progress of this little _game_."

The way he said "game" didn't sound right in the back of my mind, but I was more interested in finding out what the fuck The Swan was playing at.

"Swan." I called after her, but she ignored me.

"SWAN!"

I caught up to her just as she was getting ready to leave the ballroom and grabbed her arm, pulling her back around to look at me.

"Talk to me god damn it." I demanded.

Emmett was making his way over to us, along with Alice, Jasper and Rose and I knew I only had a few minutes here before fuckeries are us was in full swing.

She looked at my hand that was still on her arm and then looked me in the eyes and said "That's the second time you've man handled me, Cullen, I won't over look it a third time."

What the fuck had changed since the courtyard? _Oh that's right, you were a dick._

"Swan… what is your fucking problem?" I asked her, letting go of her arm.

"You don't think I'm CAPABLE because I'm a fucking woman or something Cullen? What I'm too... GREEN for you? What the hell was all that up there on stage? That… 'I don't work with a fucking partner' Shit?" She did an impression of me… and I have to say… she's not good at that shit.

I shook my head "I didn't say…" _FUCK!_ "What the hell does that have to do with us anyway?"

"US? _US!_" She looked at me like I was a fucking lunatic and grabbed her head on each side with her hands, squeezing her eyes tight. "You are…!"

"Everything okay here?" A clean cut looking guy walked up behind her and asked.

_Probably some fucking no name grunt from DCPD, doing his good deed for the damn day._

Concerned I guess, but still, none of his fucking business.

I scowled at him and advised him "Everything's fine pal, move along."

"Bella?" He looked for reassurance.

_Wait, he fucking knows her? _

She spun and her face completely fucking changed when she saw him.

"JAKE!"

_Oh good, she knows him too. _

She wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing tightly and laughing.

_Laughing… greeeeaaaaaat._

"Jake! Oh my… GOD I can't believe it's… how did you! When did? Is Charlie here?"

"I sure am, baby cakes." Another, older man said, walked in from the hallway.

_Charlie?_

Dad.

Okay, I got that one, but who's the other guy? Maybe this is who she wants to but out of her life.

So then why all the wrapping her arms around him shit?

"Dad!" She ran over and hugged him tight too. The... _friend _eyed me up and down like he was making an assessment.

_Oh yeah, kid? I can fucking play that shit too._

I eyed him right back.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked them, all fucking giddy and excited and shit.

Her dad answered her first. "Well, I got an email about this shin dig they were throwin' for ya, something about a big case you helped solve?"

I snorted, eliciting an eyeball from both of them, then the other guy told her "Yeah, I couldn't keep him from hoppin' on a plane to come see you shine Bells."

"Edward! Oh, man how genius is Bells? Muldoon's gonna eat this up!" Emmett boomed, walking up.

Oh joy. Like there hasn't been enough fucking shit happening tonight.

"Swan." I said to her, grabbing her attention away from her father for just a split second. She looked like she was daring me to say something stupid again. "Could we just…" I motioned toward the other side of the room. "Go back out to the courtyard maybe? Start this whole…" I motioned with my hands at the air around us. "Over again?"

She put her hands on her hips and walked toward me.

_Not good._

"NO, Cullen, we cannot GO back out to the…" She motioned, "Courtyard, there's no GOING BACK to the courtyard, the COURTYARD is CLOSED."

"What's in the courtyard?" Emmett asked. Rose slapped him in the arm. "What?"

Alice and Jasper were making their way past us, refusing to get involved. This is why I love Alice, she sees my pain, and refuses to add to it. She kissed me on the cheek and said "I'll talk to you tomorrow Edward." Then she hugged Bella and said goodnight.

"Thanks again Alice." She said smiling… sadly, I thought, but then her anger returned when she looked at me again.

Jasper nodded and I told him "later."

"Wait." The guy with The Swan said, looking confused. "Edward? As in, _Bella's boyfriend_ Edward?"

_Huh?_

"Jake." She started pushing him, trying to get him to leave, "Let's just…" but he wasn't budging.

"Oh, hey!" Charlie said, walking over to me, putting his hand out. "We've heard a lot about you."

_They had?_

"Not that much, actually." The kid added, pointedly giving The Swan an eye full of mischief.

"Dad, please don't…" She tried to stop him too, to no avail.

"I didn't know you and Bells were going out Edward." Emmett chimed in, and this time, Rose pulled him away from the immediate area, saying "you are such an idiot."

I looked at him though, thinking the exact same god damn thing he'd just said and sort half cocked my head like a confused dog when his master is reprimanding him for something and he doesn't know what the fuck he did.

I turned my attention back to The Swan's… I don't know, family?

"So…" I looked to The Swan for some answers, but now her anger had turned to blushing and I was starting to catch on to the fact that apparently, she'd told her dad, and this… kid that we were … "together"… but I wasn't understanding the when, or more importantly, the why.

"So how long have you two been going out? Bells made it sound like you pretty much fell…" She slapped her hand over his mouth and said "Jake! You really should leave Edward alone, he's had a long night, and he's really tired…" She swallowed. "Weren't you just saying you were tired, Edward?"

Her voice was an octave or two higher than normal. _Definitely nervous_.

Wait… Did she just fucking call me… _Edward?_

_Eddy Jr. says… Yes._

This was getting more and more motherfucking interesting by the moment.

The playful evil genius in me clicked, and I suddenly decided, it was 'fuck with Swan' time. A little pay back perhaps if you will, for the fuckery she pulled up there on stage.

I cleared my throat, winking at Em and said "No, hon, don't you remember?" I walked over and put my arm around her waist, pulling her into me. "I was actually just saying how I could pull an all nighter if I had to." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and her mouth shot open, then closed again.

She very covertly elbowed me in the ribs and I choked a little grunt, sliding my hand to my side to rub the area she'd just damaged.

Emmett, who was getting a kick out of this shit apparently, slid up to Charlie, and put his hand out. "I'm Emmett Cullen, Edward's big brother, DCPD. Nice to meet Bell's dad."

Charlie took his hand, but eyed me a little before speaking.

_What the fuck was that about?_

"DCPD huh? Excellent force, what rank are ya son?"

_Son?_

"My promotion to Detective is next week, sir, four years on the force, it's about fucking time I might add."

Charlie made this face like he was highly impressed with that shit. "Nice."

_Great, now Emmett's even stealing the show with my fake girlfriend's dad. Lovely._

He turned to me then and all of a fucking sudden I felt like I was about to get the third degree. "And I understand you're a P.I. like Bella, Edward?"

_So she'd been fucking telling her father about me? Like, detailed shit about me?_

I noted the blush on her face and relished in the fact that at least I could still illicit that from her, if not some play time with Eddy Jr.

I choked a little, stuttering over my own thoughts before saying "Uh, yeah, you're definitely not gonna catch me dead with a DCPD uniform on."

He didn't look too happy with my disregard for the Police, so I added. "Sir." To try and be a little more like Emmett for him.

"You got a problem with the Police there, Edward?"

_Loaded… questions… _

"That's an understatement, sir." It was sarcastic, because I was getting all riled up again thinking about DCPD and their bullshit. "Fucking DCPD is…" I felt Emmett's stare on me, or rather, his death ray glare, and decided, one fucking argument was enough for one night with him, so I ended going with a solemn "Not really my cup of tea."

Emmett and I met eyes again, it wasn't filled with fury this time though, it was more like, we just didn't know what the fuck to say to each other.

"Em, take me home babe." Rose said, giving me a look. Women and their intuition, fuckin' A.

He dropped his eyes from mine to hers and said, smiling down at her, "Sure thing Rosey."

He nodded to me and I did the same back at him and then waved to Rose as they left me there, alone, to wade in the pool of fuckery that was The Swan's own personal web of lies, I was guessing.

'But out of her life' guy was still taking us all in, making his own presumptions I figured, much like The Swan still did when things started happening all at once. So I decided to be a detective and get the scoop, all stealthy like.

"So, Jake, is it?" I kept an eye on The Swan from the corner of my eye as I turned to her friend. She was stiffening considerably, and I tried really fucking hard to keep the sides of my mouth from turning up.

"How do you know our Bella?"

_Our Bella. _No, that didn't sound right. I didn't like sharing. And wow, her name coming off of my lips like that. That was… _weird_.

He laughed a hearty laugh at the question. "I've only been her best friend since we were crawling. Right Bells?" He mocked punched her in her arm and I had to roll my eyes.

_Bells again? What the fuck do people think she's a god damn piece of metal or something?_

"We were in every class together… every year." She said. I noted a tad bit of annoyance, but mostly happy to stroll down memory lane with her buddy. As pissed off as she was at me, she smiled despite herself.

_That was my smile. The one I'd just gotten out in the court yard._

"Yeah, my mom would make special trips to the school to get me moved if they ever separated us!" They both laughed hard at that and Charlie excused himself to go get a beer.

_Bring back a keg Charlie, we're gonna need that shit._

This was her real laugh she was laughing with this guy, the one I got when I was teasing her the other night in my office. I was so fucking jealous that he shared that laugh with her too.

"And then Jake REFUSED to take any classes that I wasn't going to be in during high school."

"Someone had to keep an eye on you."

_Cocky much?_

I was trying to look interested in what they were both saying, but I was really just watching The Swan's facial expressions change and memorizing each of them.

"Then when we graduated, he decided to go to the academy."

"Hey, College is a waste of time when you could be spending it learning the ropes."

This shit was like watching the fucking table tennis the way they were back and forthing each other. It was damn near impossible to interject, and to tell ya the truth, I was afraid to.

"Yeah, I thought I was gonna get a break when Dad finally agreed to let me go "away" to Washington State, but noooooo."

"I drove eight hours every weekend to go see her…"

"I got no peace." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Bella, College campuses are dangerous places for girls."

"And why is that?" I asked him. I had to finally, I was curious to hear this load of bullshit.

"Well, you know, College guys are only after one thing dude… Bella's..." he gave me a knowing look.

"Between my crazy class schedule and Jake's visits, I never had that nutty college experience one desires… ya know?" The Swan looked a little disappointed in that piece of information..._ note to self._

"Hey, you graduated early because of that "crazy class schedule"… and I'd like to think you stayed safe because of me."

Charlie was back with his beer and added "I know I felt better knowing Jake was there."

This shit was pissing me off, I have to say, I mean, do they NOT know she can break a guys wrist faster than he could say 'suck my dick'? "Seems to me Bella can take care of herself."

Jake and Charlie eyed each other, but The Swan looked at me with a softer smile than I'd seen since the stage earlier. "THANK you."

I smiled back and said. "No problem."

"So _anyway_, then Bella graduates from WSU…" Jake began again, diminishing my potential Swan time, once again.

_Ass._

She laughed "And decided to go on a hiatus… which really wasn't a hiatus at all… since Jake was there the whole time."

"And you did that thing…"

"Oh god!" She said loudly, embarrassed, putting her face into her hands.

"And remember that dude!"

"JAKE!"

Charlie asked "What Dude?"

"Nothing… dad…" She said, hitting Jake in the arm.

He finally stopped, they both were laughing hard and I really wanted to take the beer out of Charlie's hand and chug that mother fucker right down myself.

"Hey take me out, show me around." He insisted, practically jumping up and down like a god damn kid wanting his parents to take him to Disney World.

The Swan stopped and looked me then, like she was debating something. Had she gotten over being angry with me? Because fuck, I could get a room in like, two fucking seconds.

"Oh, Eddie won't mind, he gets you twenty-four-seven… right Eddie?" Jake was saying, mock punching me in the god damn arm.

I scowled at his ass.

_The old cock-blocking friend routine, is it?_

"Jake…" The Swan started.

"What?" He laughed.

"He doesn't… um…"

_Okay, time to end the Peacock games I guess._

"It's okay Swan…" I said, knowing I'd been defeated by 'the buddy' for the time being. Or maybe it was more like I was giving up for the night. "It's no problem at all, _Jakey_." I punched him back in the arm.

Okay, a little harder than I needed to.

On second thought, maybe the Peacock games weren't _quite _over just yet.

I shook Charlie's hand and told him "It was nice meeting you Chief."

"You too Edward, maybe we'll uh… see you again before we leave."

I smiled, doubting it for some reason, but said "Sure thing." Then I moved past Jake the buddy and looked into The Swan's eyes and told her "Goodnight, _honey_." before leaving. I didn't look back at her, afraid of what face I might be getting if I did.

Outside it was fuck-ass-cold and I was fucking kicking myself for using the jacket to my suit for clean up duty back in the court yard. But not really, I was just fucking cold… and pissed off.

The 12 year old I'd left the Vanquish with brought me my car and after I inspected her, I handed him the other half of his fifty, and another twenty for taking good care of her.

I didn't head home, I don't know why, but I ended up parked in front of Emmett's place that night.

I parked and got out of the car, pacing up and down his street, not really knowing what the fuck I was doing. Shit ran through my head. Shit that I hadn't thought about in a long god damn time, and I just knew I needed to get some things straight instead of continuing on with the fucked up scenarios that built up over time with him.

On lap number ten, he was standing on the stairs outside his building, crossed arms and leaning against his stair railing, watching me.

I slowed to a halt just before I got to him. Neither one of us said anything at first.

"So you planning on pacing pot holes into my sidewalk, bro? Cause I'm gonna need to call the city if I want them out to fix them this year."

I furrowed my brow.

"Spit it out, Edward." He prodded.

I let out a sigh and then looked up to him, asking "Did you fucking mean it when you said you missed her, Em?

He didn't answer right away.

"Because I'd really like to fucking believe you when say shit like that."

I sat down on his steps and put my head in my hands, leaning my elbows on my knees. "I'd just really like this bullshit to make sense."

I felt him sit down next to me when he finally spoke. "I really fucking miss her Edward. If nothing else I say means a damn, believe that at least."

I lifted my head and nodded, looking straight ahead, satisfied that at least he really wasn't being a dick earlier and got up to leave.

"Hey." He called out as I reached the sidewalk again. "You wanna come in? I got beer… and Wii." He said smiling and wiggling his eyebrows. "Maybe we could... call a truce for a night? What do ya say bro?"

I debated telling him to fuck off, but quite fucking honestly, I was tired of fucking fighting with him, and I really needed to _not _go home and think about The Swan being out with someone other than me tonight.

So, I gave him a half smile, half 'you fucking piss me off' look and said "Why the hell not." then I followed him up the stairs into his building.

Besides, we could always go back to our pissing matches tomorrow.

"Em?" I asked him as we walked up the stairs to his place together.

"Yeah?"

"What the fuck is Wii?"


	11. You Say Sabotage Like That's a Bad Thing

**A/N: Chappy song = Iko Iko by the Belle Stars

* * *

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**Chapter 10 ~ "You Say Sabotage Like That's a Bad Thing"**

**PART 1. THE SWAN**

"_Mmmmmmm… No one finger fucks like you, Edward."_

I mumbled, waking hazily to bright sunbeams streaking through my window, straight into my eyeballs.

_Ouch._

I could still taste the tequila in my mouth from the night before, and I was all dry mouthed from becoming dehydrated from all of the alcohol Jake and I had consumed.

I lay in bed with one of my hands under my chin, cuddled up in my blankets, and the other was… well, deep inside of my core, trying to re-create an occurrence that was just… un-freaking-re-creatable.

I pulled my fingers out of me, with the distinct feeling of regret because, once again, I'd let my stupid head rule my decisions. And okay, my hurt feelings.

It had been a really fun, long night of running the streets of DC and Annapolis with Jake. The Margaritas were flowing, laughter bubbled, we had a pretty great time. But in reality, in the back of my mind, all I could think about all night while I reminisced with my old friend, was Cullen.

I closed my eyes, imagining his hands on me again. His warm lips… intense stares… sweet kisses… his fingers moving inside of me… and the best orgasm… ever.

_God he's such a jerk._

_Fuck._

I rolled onto my back and pulled my hand out from under the blankets, slapping myself in the forehead.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_

What the hell had I done? Was I _insane?_ Challenging him to a … what? Case Competition?

_Shit._

I had no idea how things just… _spewed_ out of my mouth sometimes. But this… this was the perfect fucking example of what that man does to me!

I leaned over and eyed the blue dress I'd worn the night before that now lay in a heap on the floor and sighed.

We'd had… SUCH… a great moment out in the courtyard together too.

I'd originally followed him out there to make sure he was okay, but the look in his eyes when he turned to me and took my face in his hands… So much fire in those eyes. I don't think I'd ever, once, in my whole life, felt the things I'd felt while he was doing the things he was doing to my body out there.

The way he made me look into his eyes when I was coming, and what his eyes were SAYING… and just…

_Shit…_

Then he went and fucking ruined… the WHOLE… GOD DAMN… NIGHT!

"Asshole." I said into my hands, covering my face from the real world.

What was all that bullshit he was saying on stage to the Lieutenant? "I don't _DO_ partners"… I grumbled in my best "man" voice. They all sound alike when the act stupid anyway.

I laughed bitterly remembering the look on his face when he said it too. Like he was disgusted to even _entertain_ the idea of working with someone. Anyone, much less ME.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm down a little.

I heard movement out in the other room which meant dad and Jake were up. There were trying to be quiet, but they're men, so… you know how that goes.

_No happy time with Tinkerbell today I guess._

_Just as well, _I thought… I had no happy thoughts, and it would only pale in comparison to what I've experienced now anyway.

I needed a game plan. Maybe if I went to the Lieutenant and explained that I'd just acted on impulse the night before, he'd take the offer of the competition off the table.

Yeah.

That was probably my best bet.

I rolled out of bed, grabbed my robe and went to the kitchen where Jake was cooking eggs and Charlie was drinking his first cup of coffee for the day.

"Morning guys." I said, kissing my dad on the cheek and then opening the cupboard to go reach for a coffee cup. Jake handed me one over his shoulder while he stirred the eggs and I smiled, taking it from him.

"Thanks." I said.

"Hey Bells, I was thinking, maybe you could take me and Charlie to DC again and…"

I cut him off.

"Can't Jake, I need to get some things done today, and… maybe clear up a misunderstanding or two."

"Boyfriend upset with me for stealing you last night?" He asked, laughing.

_Boyfriend. Fuck… _

I'd really weaved myself a little web of bullshit in a very short time period.

"Um…"

"Leave her alone, Jake, you know Bells, people can't stay mad at her for long." Charlie interjected, sipping his coffee, and picking up the paper to read it.

I poured the coffee and moved to the small office area I had and started up the computer, checking e-mail for the day.

Among all the junk mail in my in-box, there was one from the Lieutenant's office, and one from… Cullen?

They both had the same subject line, so I read Muldoon's first to see what the hell was going on.

It read:

_Dear Miss Swan & Mr. Cullen,_

_After some discussion last night following Miss Swan's offer for some friendly competition between the two of you, the Mayor and I explored the options further and thought it would be fun to make this a competition per case as opposed to just splitting the work load down the middle._

_The competition will proceed throughout the month and very simply, at the end of the competition,the P.I. with the most cases solved wins the permanent position with our Police force as consultant._

_Therefore, as your first competitive assignment, please see the attached document for case details, and maybe the best P.I. win._

_We are all looking forward to seeing what each of you bring to the table with regards to this project._

_If you have any questions, please feel free to…_

Blah, blah, blah... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

_Sincerely…._

Oh boy.

I actually felt pretty good though. I figured since Cullen had written back within minutes of Muldoon's e-mail, maybe he'd saved me the trouble of having to cancel this ridiculous idea. He'd probably told Muldoon off and advised him that he could shove the competition up his…

Oh…

Shit.

_Muldoon –_

_I'm in._

_Consider this first case solved already._

_Hope you slept well, Miss Swan._

_- Cullen_

Both e-mails were dated earlier today, and about… I looked at my watch… _Two hours earlier!_

"Motherfucker!" I yelled, and then slapped my hand over my mouth.

"Bells? Everything okay baby?" My dad called out.

I sent the attachment to the printer and sped off back to my bedrooms master bath as Jake called after me "Bells?" But I just told him over my shoulder "No time, running late, gotta get ready!"

Oh man, I just knew I was gonna look like such an idiot, after being the one to _bring up_ the competition, and now I was gonna blow it by not participating? _I don't think so._

Within about ten minutes, I was showered, dressed, skipped make-up and was grabbing my jacket and the document off of my printer to take a look at the case on my way in to the office.

"Bells." Dad called after me again, in his warning 'you better tell me what the hell is going on' tone.

I skidded to a stop and started to take my extra house key off of my key ring. I tossed it to Jake. "You guys, help yourselves to anything you need, you have my cell number, I don't have the time right now, I have a case to work on and ..."

"Hey! Let me come with, Bells" Jake interrupted me, "It'll be fun!"

"Yeah, good idea, Bells." Charlie added.

It really wasn't a bad idea actually; I could use the extra help, being behind already. Hell I'd be lucky if Cullen wasn't already collecting his paycheck for this one.

"Yeah, okay." I said and ran out of the front door while Jake handed the key to Charlie, and ran down the hallway. "I don't have time to wait Jake!" I yelled but he was already back with his jeans and t-shirt on, hopping toward the door and putting his Nike's on as he did it.

I laughed and shook my head, hurrying to the truck.

We hopped in and I didn't think she was gonna start for me again, with all the sputtering she was doing, until Jake did this funky banging thing with his fist on the dashboard and she purred right up for him.

"She givin' you any trouble?" He asked as I sped down the road.

"Um, a little, but I actually met this really great mechanic…"

"Oh yeah? Who is he, maybe I can meet him and give him some pointers on how to handle her."

I laughed at him and he asked "What?"

"You actually did, kind of anyway, meet… HER… last night." I knew what was coming before he'd even had time to choke it out.

"A… woman… mechanic? Seriously?"

I nodded. "Mmm hmmm, she's really good too, handles all of the DCPD cruisers."

His face said it all… impressed as hell. I beamed inside for Rose, and couldn't wait for her to meet Jake actually, the conversations these two could have… I laughed just thinking about it.

"So who was she? The little brunette?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

I smirked, he'd LOVE this… "Nope, the tall blonde. Rose." I said smiling big.

He whistled and I laughed hard, it's not often you meet a long legged beauty like Rose who also knows her shit about cars. I couldn't exactly blame him for being shocked.

We got to my office and Jake shook his head at all the boxes still lying around. "Still haven't unpacked huh Bells?"

"No time Jake, I've been… _busy_."

"With the boyfriend you mean?" He asked, pulling a couple of boxes down off of another bigger one, and beginning to empty its contents.

"Uh… yeah." I muttered, pulling the case document out of my backpack to look it over.

What else was I gonna say? Less was better, I thought. Yeah, the less I said about Cullen, the smaller the whole I'd dig myself into.

Jake laughed to himself about something and kept unpacking the boxes for me while I read over what needed to be done today. Only I couldn't focus, I kept finding myself thinking about the night before out in the court yard with Cullen, and I was quite surprised I wasn't caught drooling on my desk when Jake interrupted again.

"So what's the plan?"

"I wish I knew." I said absently, wondering what Cullen had been thinking when Jake called me out on the whole, boyfriend thing in front of him. God. He must think I'm such an ass.

The next thing I knew, Jake was over my shoulder, reading the document in my hands that I'd been paying absolutely no attention to.

"Bells." He laughed. "This is a piece of cake, what do you mean 'you wish you knew'?"

I finally looked at the words in front of me and pushed Cullen out of my head to try and get started with this case. I really needed something steady in this town if I was planning on staying here, and the Police consultant position sounded perfect to me, so I really wanted to kick his ass on this.

I explained to Jake what he'd missed just before getting to the party the night before and he really got into the whole competition thing.

"You're competing… with your boyfriend… for a consultant's spot with the DCPD." He said it, not so much like he was confirming for clarity, as much as he was questioning my sanity.

I cleared my throat a little and just choked out and "Uh huh." As I busied myself with looking at the computer while avoiding eye contact with him.

"Well… You're smart Bells, you could take his cocky ass if you wanted to."

He was right. I might be "green" according to Cullen, but I knew shit, too. So I pulled the papers out again and we studied the data.

It actually seemed like something I could handle against _the almighty Cullen_.

Typical "grab and go". The Lieutenant must have been starting us out small, to see how we handled the situation. It was in an unfamiliar area to me though, in downtown DC.

I grabbed a map of the area from my desk drawer. "Let's go Jake, I'm sure Cullen's already way ahead of us, no time to waste."

In the truck, he toyed with the radio, trying to find a good station, and I hid a smile thinking about how if we'd been in Cullen's "Bat Mobile" he'd have been having a royal fit right about then.

Just a short while later, we pulled up to the 7-Eleven that had been involved and entered, approaching the man behind the cash register with caution. He looked like he was still pretty shaken up from being robbed the day before.

I readied myself.

_Okay Swan, here we go, let's go get that permanent position and a little something called job security._

"Hello sir, I'm here on behalf of the DCPD?" I showed him my credentials. "Mind if I ask you some questions regarding your incident yesterday?"

He started waving his hands at me, shaking his head "Mean man already come here, he get all he get, you go now! I no have nothing to say!" He waved me off as he went back to his work, stacking gum in his little tray on the counter.

_Crap._

_Cullen._

He'd already been here, I was sure of it.

"Sir, I'm not with…" I tried not to laugh when I said it. "_Mean man_. I'm here on an independent investigation regarding your robbery."

He ignored me.

"I'd like to help."

He walked away from us now, heading toward the back of his store.

I groaned. "Uh! Fucking..."

I was so frustrated.

Jake put his hand on my shoulder, shaking me slowly. "I take it 'Mean Man' is…"

"_Cullen_." I said through my teeth, staring out of the front window.

"Weird nick-name for the man you claim to be in love with Bells, don't ya think?" He asked, letting go of my arm, seeming to wait for me to say something.

You tell me, what the hell was I supposed to say to that? I mean, _in love?_ I'd only said that to dad to get him to leave me alone about the whole thing, but hearing the words float off of Jake's lips like that? It made me feel flushed, and nervous, and… I was pretty sure Jake saw it.

I was a little flustered, but tried to ignore the _flustration_… and attempted to give him a 'girl who's in love' kind of answer, giggling a little bit. "Oh… whatever Jake, you know, it's just a… _thing_… we like to call each other by our last names is all, kinda adds to the whole… romance…" I swallowed… "Ya know?"

I smiled innocently at him, but he wasn't buying it, I could tell.

_Fuck me._

Then, before he had a chance to really grill me about anything, I had an idea suddenly, because the way the owner had called Cullen "Mean Man" made me think maybe he hadn't been very cooperative with him.

"I'll be right back." I said to Jake, and I walked back to the old man who was now sweeping his floors in the back, probably hoping we'd just go away.

"Excuse me sir." I said, waiting patiently. He finally stopped sweeping and looked up at me timidly.

"Mean Man…"

"Not nice… mean man… He say he come back, no want trouble… go way now." He waved his hand at me and began his sweeping again.

"No, no, I'm not…" I sighed. _Here goes nothin'._

I used my soft voice, the calming, don't be afraid anything voice. "Mean man works for BIG BAD city that doesn't care… I know how that can make you feel… _alienated_." He looked up at me from the corner of his eyes. "… but _Bella_…" I pointed to myself with my hand on my chest and he slowed his work. "Works for YOU. Bella cares. I'm from a small town, don't like big city either." I put my hand gently on his shoulder.

_One little white lie wouldn't hurt, right? I mean, I do care… it's making Cullen look bad that I feel bad about… a little._

He stopped sweeping and looked at me with a small smile.

_I'm in!_

The old man looked down the aisle at Jake and then back at me and I assured him "Friend of Bella's, he's helping me."

He leaned his broom against the wall, and then crossed his arms, waiting for my next move.

_Shit. What's my next move?_

_Got it…_

"If you can tell Bella, who did this to you…" I waved at the mess still surrounding his cash register up front. "I'll get them, and your money back, they won't bother you again, I promise." I smiled down at him and his own smile became bigger. "But you have to be brave and give me an eye witness account."

He suddenly pulled me to the front of the store to show me something.

Jake was watching, arms crossed and quite impressed the whole time. Just waiting patiently by the door for me while I followed the little man to his small desk behind his counter space.

I smiled and nodded at Jake as the owner of the store gave me a detailed description of the money that was stolen, and I was blown away at how proactive he'd been about his things. He also told me exactly where the perps lived.

Apparently they were well known, and feared.

I also found out that this wasn't the first time this had happened in this neighborhood, but because there never seemed to be a very good witness to the crimes, the police never seemed to really be able to do any permanent damage to the criminal activity, so people gave up cooperating. It always would just double the aggressiveness of the activity once the little fuckers were let go and knew who'd turned them in.

Once I was done thanking the little old man who owned the store, I handed him my card and turned to go. "When Mean Man comes back, you tell him you work only with Miss Swan."

I smiled, imagining the look on Cullen's face when he would come back.

"Berrah." He said, smiling and nodding.

I laughed. "Right, Bella… and don't be scared of him, he's just a big pussy cat. He's not gonna hurt you." I re-assured him and he laughed, nodding again.

_Eat that, Cullen._

"Come on, Jake, we've got some assholes to arrest."

"How'd you do that?" He asked, amazed no doubt at my excellent influential skills.

I smiled as we climbed into the truck and I made a call to Muldoon before heading off to a rather bad part of town. "I'm the bomb, just say it Jake."

"Bella, you're the bomb." He said, rolling his eyes.

"Why thank you." I laughed and we were off.

_Just like the old days._

I started the truck up, satisfied that Cullen was about to get a nice big "I may be smart but I'm not smart enough for Bella" breakfast.

I just wished I could be there to see it.

Then I had an idea, and pulled out my cell phone, sending a dose of his own medicine off to him via text.

**PART 2. CULLEN **

"Edward, you're cheating, dude." Emmett advised me, annoyed, as he pressed four or five buttons at the same time on his controller, making my car swerve off the road into a ditch, eliciting a "Ma-mah-Mia!" from the speaker on my controller.

_Mother. Fucker._

"How am I cheating when I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing, Em?" I turned the controller in my hand frantically, pushing the "A" button a bunch of times while my tongue jetted out from my mouth, and nearly elbowed him in the face.

We were both still in our dress pants and crisp white shirts from the event, that weren't quite so fucking crispy anymore, with the sleeves rolled up, sitting on the edge of the couch, playing the most whacked out god damn game I'd ever heard of. My shoes and socks were tucked away neatly by his front door and his were, well, in the dark corners of the room somewhere.

He laughed and said "Jesus Edward… you're holding the damn controller upside down, bro." He pushed a few more buttons and one of the little people in his car threw a bomb at me, blowing my car up and making my controller vibrate loudly.

"What the fuck?" I bellowed, and he laughed some more.

He'd given up earlier in the night on trying showing me how to box with these fuckers when my controller kept slipping out of my hand. The last straw was when it had gone flying across the room and put a hole in his dry wall.

I reached down to the floor to pick up my beer to take another drink as my car hit some weird blinking rainbow colored thing in the road and went turbo fucking speed across the finish line.

"YES! I win again!" I screamed, pumping the controller into the air and then pointing it at Em. "In your FACE… Em!"

He was visibly annoyed with my ass, but what the fuck ever, he's the one that insisted on challenging me. "You fucking suck, Edward. You're the only person I know that can never have held a Wii remote before in his life and win ten straight games of Mario Kart."

Hey, I can't help it if I'm a natural at shit.

I chuckled a bit and finished off my beer. "You want another?" I asked him as I got up to get one. He nodded, swallowing the last of his and tossed the bottle to me.

It was fucking three o'clock in the morning and we'd been playing this shit since I'd gotten there, but oddly enough, I wasn't the least bit tired and hadn't thought about The Swan all night.

Except for just now when I said that shit.

_Warm hands, wet heat, soft skin… beautiful smile, adorable fucking cum face…_

_Fuck._

I shut my eyes and shook the thoughts away before Eddy Jr. could even think about waking up, because that shit would be a little something called awkward, my friends, if Emmett noticed his brother getting a hard on while playing fucking Wii with another dude.

"You always were a sore loser, Em. Remember when we used to race to school and I'd beat you by like, what, a fucking mile, and you'd kick my ass once you finally got there claiming I'd started early or some lame ass shit like that?"

I pulled two more cold bottles out of his fridge and tossed the empties into his recycle bin by the doorway.

He laughed a big belly laugh, remembering exactly what the fuck I was talking about. "I never hurt you too bad little bro, just enough to remind you that even though you were faster, I was still bigger, better, and badder."

"Dude, I still have bruises from some of that shit." I told him.

"Baby." He added.

We couldn't stop throwing memories like that out there for a while about our ever-lasting competitive fucking nature with each other. I was laughing so hard I was crying when we talked about how ma had reamed us up one side and down the other one time when we'd bet each other on who could sneak out successfully one night in High School.

"Y…" He was cracking up so hard he couldn't talk right. "You fell off of the trellis…." He was making that sound like a bunch of "H's" were coming out of his mouth now, and it was making me laugh even harder. "… and started screaming about how you'd broken your ass!"

I bent over in hysterics. "And you laughed so hard you fell over old Mrs. Robsten's bushes and into her muddied Petunia garden! Fuck when you stood back up you looked like you'd fallen into a pile of shit!"

"Oh… my god… we thought we were being sooooo quiet!" He was right, we had. "Remember mom's face?"

We'd both been under the impression that we were successful that night, and called a tie, but later found ma was waiting for us back at the house when we'd gotten home and she'd skinned our asses good for doing that shit and worrying her while we gallivanted into the wee hours of the fucking morning.

We never pulled that shit again.

Once our comic relief got a little quiet for a minute there, he asked "What the fuck happened, Edward? When this stop being fun, and start being all…?" He asked, waving his hands around, leaning back into the couch, staring up at his ceiling.

I knew what he meant.

_Way to cut the non-existent fucking tension, Em._

_Buzz kill._

"You know what happened, Em." I said, serious now.

_Jessica._

Looking over at him, he seemed like he was getting ready to say something but I interrupted the thought, not wanting to ruin the fucking moment we seemed to be having, and said "I have a better question. When did you start taking shit from Newton?"

The look on his face said it all. I'd struck a chord… _and_ distracted him from starting up about Jess again.

Shit, even in a drunken stupor I'm good.

"I don't _take shit _from anyone, Edward. I've just learned to… you know… tolerate him." He took a swig of his beer and I said "That's bullshit Em, and you know it. Newton's not the kinda guy you fucking tolerate, he's the guy you fucking kick the shit out of and then step on him as you leave."

He rolled his eyes. "Maybe that's how you… _private eyes_ handle things in the real world Edward, but in the fifth DC precinct, it doesn't fly. I'm expected to handle shit a certain way."

_Interesting._

"And my profession is bad because…?"

He laughed at that. "I guess ya gotta point there, bro." He admitted, tilting his bottle to toast me before chugging it.

_This would be a good time to tell him about the cocaine incident, see how tolerant he is when he hears that shit._

My phone buzzed with an alert just as I was contemplating opening my mouth about that shit. "Fucking email." I mumbled drunkenly.

"Check it bro, maybe it's the fucking Mayor wanting to give you a gold star for not punching anyone out last night."

We both laughed at that shit cause let's face it, it was pretty fucking unbelievable.

I pulled the phone out and checked the mail that had come in, and scowled.

Emmett looked over to see why I'd gotten so quiet and asked "What? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just fucking Muldoon, messaging The Swan and me about our 'first case' in the 'competition' she proposed…" I shook my head. "Only the rules have changed now. He wants us to compete case by case with each other."

I could feel him staring at me, so I rolled my head to look at him. "What?"

"THE SWAN?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

I laughed through my nose and smiled, looking back at the e-mail on the screen. She really was out of her fucking mind sometimes.

"I say go for it, Edward… show Bells what it's like to deal with the shit storm that is the DC area."

That fucking confused the shit out of me a little to tell ya the truth. I tilted my head at him and cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you were the 'a number one _Bells_ fan of all time' Em?"

He pushed my shoulder lamely. He was drunk, what can I say? "Hey, I love the girl, she's great, but I think you need to teach her just exactly what you are and are not capable of, bro."

"Wow, Em, thanks… that… actually sounded like a fucking compliment." Was I in the Twilight Zone or something?

"You're the smartest guy I know Edward. Hell, just because I think you were an idiot for dropping out of the Academy the night before graduation, doesn't mean I don't know that."

Was he serious?

Shit, why not?

I typed out a reply to the good Lieutenant, adding a snarky little comment to The Swan and put the phone away, thus officially beginning _Competition One oh One _with one Isabella Swan.

And therefore ending the night with Em in return.

"I guess I should get going if I'm gonna solve this case." I got up and Emmett followed suit.

I stumbled a little and Em said "Maybe we should call you a cab, bro. I can't, in good conscience, let you get into that car and drive yourself home."

"Well then it's a good thing I'm not going home." I said, jokingly, but he retorted with "No, I mean, like, I'd have to arrest you if you got in the car man."

Of course he would.

"Yeah, gotcha… the office isn't far from here anyway, I'll swing by and pick it up later."

"Good call." He said, patting me on the shoulder and then pulling me into one of his annoyingly strong bear hugs.

"Okay, okay, big guy… take it easy." I said, pushing his ass off of me.

Before he closed the door as I walked down the stairs I turned around and said "Hey Em."

"Yeah bro?"

I took a nice long deep breath before saying it, not knowing what reaction I'd get. But fuck, I did it anyway. "Thanks."

He smiled and said "Get to work bro, before Bells kicks your ass and I have to act like I expected it all along."

His reaction was pretty much what I was hoping for. Em knew that shit was hard for me to say, and he didn't throw it in my face. That said volumes.

I laughed and turned back down the stairs to leave for the office. Outside, I eyed the Vanquish, she seemed okay, so I left her there, highly doubting anyone would fuck with a car parked outside of a cops home.

Walking did me some good actually, the cold air woke me up and I stopped for a coffee before heading to the office to print the case info off of my computer there.

I hadn't pulled an all nighter with Em in … hell I didn't even know how long it had been, but they typically got me all fucking riled up and shit, and this one was no different, so I felt pretty god damn good about how the day would go.

Until I made it to the case's robbery victim's store that is.

On top of which, I really didn't like fucking traveling around town out of my own god damn control… no authority over the speed that a vehicle reaches makes Cullen very… _very_ grumpy.

The cabbie dropped me off and I stepped into the 7-Eleven, ready to close this easy peazy case and knocking out a payday in just a few short hours probably. Then I could get some god damn sleep maybe.

The store owner didn't speak good English, and I was just getting more and more annoyed with him for not cooperating with me when here I was, trying to fucking help his ass.

He seemed like he wanted to talk, but was debating with himself, and I was getting kinda fucking tired of the cat and mouse shit, so I told him very nicely, that I was gonna interview some people around the neighborhood and come back later.

As nicely as I could anyway considering I was annoyed as hell and tired as fuck.

What?

Once I was outside, I breathed heavy and raked my hands through my hair and then over my face. This wouldn't be easy, but looking at my watch, I still had the jump on The Swan, so I tried to just, calm the fuck down and started some questioning of other local patrons.

It was just like Muldoon to throw this shit out at us, fucking toying with The Swan probably since she was new here. Or maybe screwing with me… _or both of us_… If it weren't for the sheer joy of messing with her myself, I wouldn't even god damn bother with this shit.

After a couple of hours of interviewing people in this guy's immediate vicinity, I got the distinct impression that no one wanted to talk out of fear of retaliation from the thugs.

Which made me wanna find them all the more so I could kick their fucking asses.

I entered the 7-Eleven store again to find a much more upbeat owner, smiling at me.

_Weird._

"In a better mood I see." I said to him, thinking perhaps he'd decided to be, oh, I dunno, helpful?

"No need help mean man, mees Berrah say no need stay, go way now." He was shoo'ing me.

"What?" I got nothin' outta that. Did you?

"Mees Berrah say you no help. You wit big bad city." He pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it to me.

_Bella Swan, Private Investigations._

_Motherfucker._

"She…" I started, amused and annoyed all at the same time at her tactics.

_Sneaky. Little…_

"Where did you send her?" I asked him, pointing at her card. He snatched it back out of my hand and said "You go way, pussycat." He shoo'd me again. "Mees Berra take care."

_Pussycat?_

I didn't get a whole hell of a lot of time to get anything out of him before I was out on the street. The little owner of the store pushed me through the door entryway and just as I was about to protest and push him for some fucking information, my cell phone buzzed.

It was a text, from The motherfucking Swan herself.

It said: _How's your investigation going?_

Like she didn't already know.

I quickly typed back: _Not so good, care to tell me why I'm being called a pussycat by a 4 ft Chinese man?_

It didn't take her long to write back: _you picking up small older foreign men now Cullen? _

_Funny. _

I replied: _Nice one, Swan._

I didn't wait for her next reply before typing in another one to her: _Retaliation will be two fold BTW my tiny dancer._

I meant that shit, this wasn't gonna fly again, I'm better than that.

_Game on, Swan._

I was definitely NOT drunk anymore, and was kicking myself for getting so wasted with Em the night before, because had I been on my fucking A game, this one would have been in the bag.

Therefore… _Note to self, stop getting drunk with Em._

_For now._

An email alert on my cell followed the text bantering I'd been engaging in with The Swan and pissed me off. Not only because it interrupted my play time with her, but also because it was from fucking Muldoon, advising us the case had been solved by "Miss Swan" and to meet at his office by one o'clock.

I sighed.

How the fuck did she do that exactly?

There was honestly no sense in fucking analyzing that shit now, I'd clearly blown the day. So, I headed to Emmett's to get the Vanquish, and then home to grab a shower before going into DC's 5th Precinct.

Pup was sleeping in front of the door and I bent down to pet him behind the ears while I checked my points of interest.

_No visits from psycho red Ferrari drivers who may or may not be a woman today… that's a good sign._

"You don't know how fucking lucky you have it, Pup." He looked up at me and sneezed.

He waited patiently at the door, wagging his tail, while I got his food and water and pressed the play button on the answering machine.

"Keep an eye out for perps, got it?" I asked as he ignored me, stuffing his face into the food bowl. I made a mental note to ask him important shit before feeding him from then on.

I listened to the messages playing on the machine while I grabbed the leftovers in the fridge.

Alice had called, reminding me about her show that was coming up, and warning me that I had better not miss it. She asked if I was okay after the shit storm with Dad the night before and said to call her.

"Later." I told her, knowing full well she couldn't fucking hear my ass. I turned the machine off, not really feeling like listening to anything else anyway, and jumped into the shower.

Let me just preface this next shit by saying, whacking off is NOT my style. I don't typically feel the need, but all the shit that was happening lately, and The Swan last night, and then fucking me over today… my dick needed some god damn attention and I wasn't about to go off looking for some random fucking release.

No, unfortunately, the only thing that was gonna make Eddy Jr. feel better was the hot wet insulation that is The Swan, and since that didn't seem like it was gonna happen, today at least, I gave him a little token strokin'.

"Fuck" I whispered, thinking about her god damn lips, and how soft they were. I just imagined them on my dick again and I was gone. I mean shit, the woman had mad motherfucking skills with everything…

As I soaped up my hand and started comforting Eddy Jr., I low moan escaped my throat and I leaned my other arm against the wall, and my head against my arm.

I thought about shit like the fact that she'd never been fucking finger fucked properly… before last night anyway. And holy mother of hell no one had ever put their lips on her pussy before. That shit's just not right, and yet, it was completely right. For me that is.

I made a vow mentally, to be the first, and possibly ruin it for everyone else, if it was the last fucking thing I did for her, The Swan was gonna know the pleasure of a good god damn pussy lickin'.

Fuck, I could just imagine the things I'd do to her with those legs spread, and her lips separated for me…

"UGH! _Bella!_" I let her name fall from my lips as I came hard, and I wanted to fucking say it again, in her ear, whispering it against her lips, her neck, maybe against another set of soft, pink lips. Yeah, definitely there, that shit was happening.

_But when?_

With the BFF and papa Swan in town, who knew when I'd get some quality fucking alone time with her again. If she even wanted it again.

I let the scorching hot water fall down against my back for a while, trying to let thoughts of The Swan wash away with the water, before getting out of the shower and getting dressed. I couldn't quite get her out of my head though.

_So fucking stubborn._

Somehow, I needed to get her to a) fucking see the light with the shit going on around us, and then b) get her to not be quite so pissed off at me, and then maybe, just fucking maybe, c) we could pick up where we left off the night before.

_Good luck with that, Cullen._

I slipped on a clean pair of jeans and my dark green pullover today, then pulled some socks on and jammed my feet into my shoes before throwing my jacket on to leave.

I scratched Pup behind the ears again as he was licking his god damn bowl when I left and I told him "Watch the place and I'll give ya double later." As I left.

Once I arrived, only a little late, to the Lieutenants office, I noticed an extra body leaning up against the wall in the back as I headed in. He was directly behind The Swan, and when I finally looked up to see who the fuck would be joining this meeting as an extra from the _Godfather_, I realized, it was the buddy.

_Greeeaaaaat._

I nodded to him once and he did the same, never uncrossing his folded arms from his chest. He looked like one of those god damn statues on top of the tall motherfucking buildings made to be protectors of the night… what the fuck are they called again?

Gargoyles.

Yeah, he looked like a motherfucking Gargoyle. Set to protect The Swan.

_Because she's so fucking innocent, right? Can't take care of herself, is that it?_

Seemed to me this guy needed to learn a thing or two about The Swan himself, even if he did fucking know her since they were in god damn diapers.

I laughed out loud at the thought of her in diapers and everyone in the room looked at me.

I cleared my throat a little. "Sorry." I said, furrowing my brow, and leaning against Muldoon's desk.

"So, tell me how do we know this case is fucking closed already again?" I asked, and felt the glare of The Swan on me, so I looked over to her "What? I like to fucking make sure we're not gonna be watching these assholes walk out in about oh…" I looked at my watch. "An hour?"

Buddy, Jake, was scowling at me. I'm sure he would have liked to defend his precious Bella from the nasty words that the big bad "Pussycat" was saying, but I paid him no mind.

She pulled out her pad of paper from her jacket pocket and I had to smile at how very similar we were in some ways.

She did this thing with her mouth while she was thinking. Licking her bottom lip and taking it in between her teeth. Like she didn't know that shit would make me completely fucking lose my earlier control over Eddy Jr.

_Stop thinking about her mouth on your dick, Cullen._

I shook my head and she made a face at my expression before beginning. "The bills were all marked with black light pens, the owner wrote down every damn serial number of every bill, and every bill is there, with the black light pen mark." She said. "Amazing, really. Most people wouldn't have thought to do that."

"Wouldn't have to in Forks." The friendly neighborhood Gargoyle added.

"Not surprised there, kid." I said sarcastically.

He laughed one of those laughs you laugh through your throat, you know, when you're disgusted with something? Yeah, that would be me he's disgusted with.

"Jake." He said.

We eyed each other for a minute before I said "Right, Jake." Pronouncing the "K" distinctly for him.

He kept eye contact with me, but made no further comment. _Smart kid._

Just because he didn't say anything, doesn't mean The Swan didn't though. She had been watching us conservatively while we did our King Kong impersonations and finally said… Jokingly, "Yeah Cullen, you wouldn't know what to do, there wouldn't be anyone to make smarmy comments to all day."

The Gargoyle laughed and knee'd her in the chair.

_Adorable._

She hadn't looked up from her pad of notes when she said it, so she didn't see the smirk on my face.

'_Cause Cullen likey when The Swan gets all per-fucking-snickety._

And so does his dick.

_Stand down Eddy._

_Too late._

My eyes traveled to her legs. Well, specifically, just in between her legs, where my fingers did… evil, evil things to her the night before and I licked my lips thinking about her whimpers. I wanted to lean down to her, tell her how bad I wanted to fucking hear her cum again, but something told me Gargoyle boy wasn't gonna have any of that today.

Then again, why did I care?

Blatantly, I looked up, and sure enough, he was totally fucking eyeballing me.

I gave him a half smile to let his ass know, yeah, I'd been visiting the golden nugget in between her legs, and then I started to follow up on my idea of telling The Swan what was on my mind, when the Lieutenant piped up.

"I'm so impressed that you closed this in a day. Looks like this little competition was a good idea after all."

_Was he saying he hadn't thought it was a good idea before this?_

After about thirty minutes of discussing how the arrest went and that the owner's eye witness account had been air tight in addition to his excellent record keeping, he excused us.

"I'll be e-mailing you both with the next case this afternoon. Great job people." Then he went back to his busy desk work and we all took that as a sign that it was time to go.

The Swan was following Jake out and I was following her. Watching her walk quietly, every so often her head would turn slightly, like she had something to say to me maybe, but thought better of it.

The ride down to the lobby was… quiet.

The twitching in my jeans was becoming fucking annoying and I'd had enough of the silent treatment for one day by the time we'd reached our destination.

Once we arrived at the bottom floor, the elevator doors opened for us. The kid was already walking out onto the marble floors, and The Swan was right behind him when I grabbed her arm and pulled her back into the elevator with me, closing the doors.

Jake swung around and started for us but I just smiled and waved as the doors closed, and then I jammed the buttons, stopping us from going anywhere all together.

"Cullen, what the fuck do you think…" I cut her ass off, pushing her up against the wall with my hands at her waist. I had emotions running through me while I looked into her eyes, ranging from lust, to fucking rage, to just general all around annoyance when I crashed my lips to hers, kissing that smart ass mouth hard.

I fisted her tiny waist, pulling her into me, to get a clue as to what the fuck she was doing to Eddy Jr. without even fucking trying.

_Like she didn't fucking know._

She squirmed a little at first, but then finally, she conceded, giving into the kiss fully, and relaxed a little. I moved my hands to cup her face, my fingers entwining into her hair, my dick finding his way up against her belly. The whimper that escaped her mouth into mine told me I wasn't the only one having a "hard time" with this shit.

Her hands were flat against my chest, pushing me away at first, but then she grabbed a hold of my jacket and pulled me in tighter, moving a leg in between mine, rubbing it against Eddy Jr.

_I wonder if there's cameras in this motherfucker._

When I finally had to fucking breathe again, I pulled back a little, still holding her fucking face still, breathing hard, looking her in the eyes and told her "Don't think for one fucking second, Swan, that just because you're playing the old 'I'm really fucking pissed off at you right now' card, that I'm not completely fucking turned on by that shit."

She didn't speak, and her eyes fell to my mouth, a little shell shocked maybe, but I knew she wanted me too still. She wasn't _that_ fucking pissed off.

I kissed her again and this time, her mouth met mine with eager acceptance, her hands slinking around my neck, fisting my fucking hair again. My own were on the move again too.

One hand held on to her, wrapping around to her back, clinging her to my body tightly as I felt along the wall with my other hand until I found the panel of buttons again and pushed one of them, causing the doors to open again.

Breaking the kiss breathlessly, I managed to compose myself and then leaned into her ear. "And don't think I don't know how to play tit for fucking tat with this competition either." Then I winked at her as I left the elevator, walking past Jake and saying "Later."

Don't get me wrong, my friends, that shit was hard to walk away from, but I had a mission to accomplish, and I needed to keep my fucking head in the game.

I headed immediately to the office and printed off the next case. Shit, if Muldoon kept this fuckery up I'd be exhausted into next year before I knew it.

This one was a tad more complicated that the simple robbery from this morning. Not that I was phased, but it meant Muldoon was upping the stakes.

A break-in… overnight… down by Annapolis, which was odd that DCPD was helping out with a Maryland problem, but maybe they asked for the help, it was the holiday season after all, and shit's always getting all fucked up around the holidays.

I checked messages and there was another message from the mystery woman that had left that bizarre, cryptic ass message on the machine the other day, claiming saying she'd be in touch with me soon about her case.

"Again with the zero details, lady? What the fuck?" I blew it off, because if I was in the fucking mood to talk to her when she ever ended up showing up, great, if not, I'd just tell her to fuck off and go harass some other god damn P.I… The Swan perhaps.

I laughed.

After I was convinced everything was taken care of at the office, I headed over to The Ram's Head before visiting the jewelry store that had been ripped off.

I guess part of me was hoping to see Em, maybe confirm that we were still actually fucking getting along and shit, but he wasn't there yet.

The Swan however was… with Jake. They were sitting at a table toward the back, both of their backs to the front door.

_Total amateur move… never sit with your back to the door._

I started to leave, and who to my wandering eyes should appear? But The Swan's dad. Chief of the po-po from good old Forks, Washington.

I smiled and narrowed my eyes, thinking.

Evil stirred inside the Cullenator, and I looked back at The Swan. She was probably going over strategy with Gargoyle boy with regards to our next case.

I looked around, letting thoughts form in my head, and then there it was, light shining down on it like the god damn fountain of youth. Seeing Demitri behind his bar, cleaning his glasses out, gave me just the idea.

As I sneaked behind his bar, Demitri inspected me curiously, but didn't say anything; he just shook his head and smirked, continuing to clean his glasses.

_That's right, D… Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain._

I grabbed a brand spanking new bottle of Patron Silver, took a fifty out of my wallet and slapped it on the counter in front of Demitri. Then I crawled on two knees and one hand over to The Swan's booth from behind them, opened up her back pack, and slipped the bottle of Tequila inside of it. I backed away quietly, nodding to Demitri as I left the building.

When I was safe outside, I looked up and down the street for Charlie again, and found him, window fucking shopping outside one of the boat shops along the street.

_Game face Cullen._ I thought, making my way into his general direction.

Thought provoked and for-fucking-lorn looking, I made sure I bumped into him, looking totally surprised to find him there.

"Edward, you okay son?"

_Son._

That had a weird affect on me. But I shook it off, staying focused on the task at hand.

"Charlie, I … I didn't see you there." I looked panicked back up the street at The Rams Head.

"What's the matter, you look upset." He said.

_Bingo._

I took a few deep breaths for show.

"I just… um… left Bella, and..."

_Bella._

"Yeah?" He prodded.

"I…"

_Bella._

"Edward, I think you need to tell me what's going on, son."

_Right._

"Well, it's just that… has Bella always had a drinking problem?" I asked.

_Bella._ Why couldn't I fucking stop thinking her name like that? Shit.

"Drinking problem? Bella's drinking? Like heavily?"

"I probably shouldn't say anything, she's having a hard time and…"

"Where is she?" He asked, stone cold faced and stern.

I showed him where the Ram's Head was and asked him "Please don't, tell her I said anything. She'll be angry and quite honestly, she scares me when she's angry."

_Only a little bit._

He put his hand on my shoulder and said "Don't worry Edward, she'll never know we spoke."

I nodded and grimaced like the concerned fake boyfriend that I was, and he moved on up the street to go confront The Swan while I laughed all the way to the Vanquish.

_That oughtta keep her busy for a while. _

I slowed as I passed the Ram's Head and saw Charlie confronting our innocent Swan about her drinking habits and moved along before she could catch me in the act of spying on her.

"Fucking priceless Cullen, where's your god damn camera when you need it?"

By my watch, I figured by the time she'd probably been able to convince Charlie she was indeed, NOT a drunk, I'd already interviewed the store owner.

Before she could get him to let her set off on her own, and look over the case again to figure out where to start, I'd already had the Jazzman look over the store tapes and trace the perps in the DCPD, Maryland Troopers and Virginia police systems.

I got a tag number from Jazz, found it through DMV, tracked the car via local satellite, again, care of Jasper's genius, to a local fucking storage unit. This was no doubt by the time The Swan and Jake had probably met the store owner, who advised them I was already on it.

_Sorry, Swan, this one was of the female species, you had no chance._

I'd broken into the storage unit, found the jewels, called Muldoon and he brought his cronies down, including Emmett, to tag and bag the stash while his other unit made the arrest at the exact address Jazzman had traced the owner of the car to.

When The Swan finally pulled up to the scene, this bad boy was locked and loaded and put away for a rainy day.

"So… _not cool_, Cullen." She said as we started to pass each other - me on the way to my Vanquish, and her on her way to check in with Muldoon.

I put my hand to my chest and looked all kinds of fucking shocked at what she'd said.

"Oh, you're not liking it when the sabotage is on the other foot?"

She pursed her lips and scrunched her eyebrows together at me and said "On the…? I didn't tell your FAMILY that you're a… lush!"

I stifled a laugh, because she was so fucking cute when he got all flustered with me.

That's when I realized, and looked around to confirm, yes, something was missing. Or rather, some ONE. "Where's your boyfriend Swan? Oh wait, that's me." I smiled.

He huffed and spun around on me at that shit. "He's not my… and you're _DEFINITELY_ not my…" She closed her eyes in frustration.

_Sexual… tension… much?_

"Oh? That's not what daddy thinks apparently. Or the BFF." I teased.

"Cullen. Look, I…" She was a little frustrated. She shook her head with her eyes closed, looking for something to say to explain her actions.

It's not like I couldn't figure that shit out, the way he and Jake had acted the night before, like she was completely incapable of taking care of herself. She probably just wanted them off of her fucking back.

But still, why me?

_Definitely not boyfriend material, if ya know what I mean._

_Especially for someone like The Swan._

"Hey, you don't need to explain to me, Swan." I said, cupping her chin and raising her face so she'd look at me. She opened her eyes and when I saw those big brown orbs staring back at me, I winked at her. Hell I couldn't help it, the shit she did to my dick was more than enough reason to fuck with her cute ass. Plus I loved watching her get all fucking pent up and shit.

"However…" I started, and then leaned into her closer so I could whisper the next part, just for her. "You could give me a hint as to when exactly we get to consummate this relationship…" I looked around with just my eyes to make sure no one was around too close. "And maybe we can take care of that problem you have with the whole… oral satisfaction thing."

Okay, that might have been over the line.

"Asshole!" She said loudly, but not screaming, at least I had that goin' for me.

She pulled her hand back to slap me but I caught it by the wrist, mid god damn air people. I'm a quick motherfucker.

She tried to pull out of my grasp, but I held on tighter, not letting her go. She looked like she wanted to pounce me, which, let's face it, that coulda been fun… and I almost fucking laughed at her.

I didn't, Jesus, I'm just sayin', it was hard not to laugh at her.

The look in her eyes was a questioning one. Kinda like 'hmmm, should I kiss him, or kill him?'

I was about to make the decision for her when her knee made contact with Eddy Jr. hard on the… well, you get my drift.

_Fuck._

"Jesus, Swan."

_Mother of… hell that hurt._

I bent down, letting the pain subside, and this time, she leaned down to my ear to whisper for me. "I told you, not… to fucking… man handle me."

She walked away but not before I got out my last jibe. "You didn't seem to mind the way this man handled you last night." She stopped for a minute, probably debating on turning around to kick the rest of my ass or not, but then kept on walking.

Low, I know. But like I've said before, I babble during high stress moments. I'm serious, there's just no fucking stopping my ass once I start. It's ridiculous.

I turned around to stop her. "I'm…" I started, but she was already gone. "Sorry." I finished quietly.

"Fuck." I said, raking my hands through my hair. I really am a dumb ass.

I was staring off after her when I heard Emmett behind me. "You really do have a way, Edward."

"You heard that?"

"Oh…. Yeah."

I sighed.

"I have no fucking idea why I did that."

He laughed with his arms crossed and said "I do."

_Whatever the fuck that means._

"Well, fuck." I looked around at the officers that were present and made an odd observation, maybe because he was in the very fore front of my mind lately, I asked "Where the hell is Newton?"

"Special assignment or some shit like that." He looked like he was trying to blow that shit off like it was nothing, but if I knew anything about Em, he wasn't a great liar. Makes him a very good, and very bad cop.

"What kinda special assignment?"

"Dunno Edward." He said, waving to Muldoon. "Look, I gotta run. Catch ya later."

_Typical fucking Emmett. Avoid the lie, and it isn't a lie._

My cell phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket checking the screen. "Hey Alice."

"You're coming to the show Tuesday night, right Edward?"

"Yes Alice."

"And you're not gonna be late, right?"

"Right."

"Promise?" She dragged it out, singing it almost.

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you pestering me?"

"Because it means a lot to me, this show, and I want you there, ON TIME."

I let my head fall back so I was looking at the sky. I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything that was coming up that would keep me from being there on time, but there was nothing of note.

"You have my word Alice, I will be at this show, on time."

"Great, love you!" She chimed, and then hung up.

Whatever had her panties in a bunch was beyond my comprehension, I was sure, so I didn't even try to fucking understand what that conversation was all about.

One last glance back at The Swan, who was looking ten shades of disappointed while she spoke with the Lieutenant, and I decided it was probably best I went home. I was running on fumes and needed some serious sleep before I dug my own god damn grave and then buried myself in it.

Provided I hadn't fucking done it already.

**PART 3. THE SWAN**

_Fucking Cullen. _

_Just tell me, someone… anyone… Who. The. Fuck. He. Thinks. He. Is._

_Seriously!_

So WHAT if he gives the best freaking "finger fucks", as he liked to call it, on the face of the planet Earth, and kisses like fucking Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean when Elizabeth Swan kissed him right before she cuffed his sorry ass to the ship.

_Jerk._

"Consummate our relationship… I'm gonna consummate his fucking…"

I was mumbling… and scowling, I could feel it as I walked up to Muldoon and he must have thought it was over losing this case because he tried very hard to console me about it.

"Oh, you win some you lose some, Miss Swan, no worries, I'm sure you'll _needle_ Mr. Cullen the next time."

_I'll needle him alright._

I tried to change my expression when Emmett walked up after Muldoon had waved him over, but I don't know how well I hid my feelings because Emmett seemed to read me well enough to tell me quietly, "He didn't mean it Bells." Before shaking Muldoon's hand addressing him formally and nodding. "Sir."

"Excuse us, Miss Swan." Muldoon said, and they walked off together, leaving me there alone and I instinctively, against my own damn will, looked over toward the parking lot for Cullen, who was gone.

My shoulders slumped a little, then my phone rang and I pulled it out, blowing air though my lips, letting the flap a little. "Hi dad."

"Hey Bells, you on your way home yet?"

It was just like Forks, all over again.

"Yeah dad, in two minutes, is Jake still there?" I'd dropped him off before coming to the scene. No sense in being completely embarrassed in front of him.

"He sure is… you sure you're coming right home?"

"Yes dad."

"Not gonna go out drinking?"

"Dad… I told you, I. Do. Not. Have. A. Drinking. Problem."

He laughed "Okay, okay, baby, I'll see ya when ya get here. Jake's making dinner."

"Okay dad, see ya." I hung up and took a step to make my way back to the truck and my cell rang again.

"JESUS." I said out loud, pulling the phone out again I answered it, annoyed. "WHAT?"

"Bella? You okay?" It was Alice. Oh thank god, someone normal.

"Hey, Alice. Sorry, I… thought you were someone else. What's up?"

She giggled and then proceeded. "I was wondering if you could help me with a problem I'm having."

"Sure."

"I have this thief in my organization, and I need to get her weeded out."

"Um, sure, Alice, but, why wouldn't you just ask Edward to help you out."

"Well, because he's a _he_, and this is a… delicate matter. As in, women's… delicates."

"What?"

"It's my women's lingerie line, there's this thief in my midst, stealing my ideas and modeling them as her own in another line, but I don't know which of my girls it is, so…. I was hoping you could, you know, pose as one of my models…"

I bit my lip… yikes. Modeling women's underwear?

"I don't know Alice… what about Cull… your brother, isn't he gonna be there? I wouldn't want to…"

"Oh…" she laughed "He never comes to these things, it'll just be our little secret, I promise."

I thought about it. This could actually be good for me, sprouting out my business and getting my name out there. And I could re-pay her for the fuck awesome… FREE dress she'd hooked me up with for the party.

"Okay, I'll do it, pro-bono."

"What? No, I couldn't …"

"Alice, that's my one and only stipulation. Free, or not at all."

She huffed and then in her own little Alice fashion, said "deal. Come on over to my shop and I'll give you the details, introduce you to the girls as a newbie, and get you all gussied… I mean, ready for Tuesday night's show."

_Tuesday?_

"Tuesday? Alice, that's kinda soon, I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Oh baby, it's just a little turn on the catwalk…" She sang it, like that song by Right Said Fred called "I'm too Sexy" and I laughed out loud, picturing her doing it too.

"Yeah, easy peasy… okay, let me just see if Muldoon is gonna throw another case at Cullen and me today and I'll head over… wait… Alice, you're not doing this to distract me for him are you, because…"

"Bella! No! I am a woman first and foremost and if Edward can't get his head out of his ass long enough to realize he could really use your expertise on cases, then I'm not planning on making anything any easier on him… trust me."

Something in Alice's voice said "beware, sneaky little pixi like creature is a foot", but I did trust her, so I said "I'm there Alice, you can count on me."

"Thanks Bella, you're a real life saver."

I hung up, wondering just exactly what I was getting myself into, but honestly, figured with Alice, it could be just about anything.


	12. Devil in the Blue Lace Undies

**A/N: Chappy song = Black horse and the cherry tree by K.T. Tunstall

* * *

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**Chapter 11 ~ "Devil In The Blue Lace Undies"**

**PART 1. CULLEN **

"So I said, '_You didn't mind how this man handled you last night_'…. I mean, fuck, I didn't mean it. I just… Shit."

I bent my head down between my knees and raked my hands through my hair, pulling at the roots, pissed all over again that I'd said that shit to The Swan the day before.

Pup just titled his head and sneezed at me, then put his head down flat on the ground and put his paws over his nose, itching a scratch.

"I know,_ I know_. I'm a fucking idiot."

I sighed. Shit, I had no idea how to turn my god damn mouth off sometimes.

Okay, most times.

Sometimes I manage.

Rarely.

_Fuck._

I got up and went inside to get Pup his food and water before I even wanted to think about checking e-mails, knowing some fucking case would be staring me in the god damn face again today.

_Let Swan have this one, I can't even fucking think straight right now._

I mean, how fucking long was the BFF staying anyway? Doesn't he have a job to get back to?

_Shit._

I'd poured the food and was washing the water bowl out when I heard a light tapping at the door.

"Edward?"

I finished filling up Pup's water and went to make sure I wasn't hearing things. "Seth?"

He looked at me all shy and shit, and I figured he was about to confess to spending the hundred dollars I'd given him on some shit like arcade games, but then he pushed the door the rest of the way open and showed me a fucking kiddie wagon full of god damn green beans and I couldn't stop myself from smiling one big ass motherfucking proud papa smile at him.

I rubbed my hand over my mouth, crossed my arms and asked him "So how'd you do it?" nodding for him to tell me his tale.

He smiled. "Coupons."

I laughed at that. "Fucking coupons, kid, good thinking."

"Yeah, I stole up every paper… I mean, I didn't really steal anything, the papers were FREE, so that's not stealing, right?"

I chuckled. "No, Kid, that's not stealing."

He smiled wider. "Cool… and I had to go to three stores to get all one hundred, and one guy even gave me ten for free when he realized I had thirty cans on the conveyor belt."

He was all fucking excited and proud of himself too, I could hear it in his voice. This was good. This was really fucking good.

"Did you spend it all?"

"Nope, here." He took out what looked like a good twenty bucks and started to hand it to me but I stopped him.

"You keep it, Kid, you earned it."

He looked a little shocked to tell you the truth. "Seriously?" His voice squeaked.

"Seriously, now get that wagon back down the stairs because we need to get going."

"What? Where? I thought you…"

"Just follow me Kid."

I fed Pup and grabbed my jacket, locking up nice and fucking tight before starting to walk down the street with Seth to St. Michael's Church.

I donated to them sometimes, they do good shit there with the homeless kids, and hell, this would make a good way for Seth to see some scary mother fuckers doing really good deeds.

"Edward!" The father greeted me with a handshake and a hug, as per usual, and I hugged his ass back, because seriously, you don't wanna fuck with a god damn priest when you're already on your way to hell.

"Father," I gestured to Seth. "This is Seth, he needs some… coaching on decision making."

Seth looked at me, a little nervous, but I nodded to him and put my hand on his shoulder to let him know it would be alright, and that he wasn't in fucking trouble or anything.

This was another gesture my dad used to make when we were kids and he was trying to teach us shit. You never could tell by the tone in Carlisle's voice whether you were in for a whipping, or just a talk. But when he put his hand on your shoulder, you knew everything would be okay, re-fucking-guardless of all the other bullshit that was going down.

I took my hand away from Seth's shoulder in reaction to the memory of my dad and he relaxed a little as the good father led the way to the kitchen where some big burly looking mother fuckers were cooking and bagging up shit to take to the shelters around the city.

They didn't talk to us, and that was probably a good thing, since I really didn't have time for chit chat anyway, and the father left us in there alone to help out if we wanted.

I took Seth to the bagging area, since I was pretty fucking sure he didn't know how to cook, and we started bagging shit together.

"So, who are all these people?" He asked after a few minutes, taking in the scarier looking guys that were coordinating everyone else.

"They're you, Kid." I told him. "Or, at least they used to be."

He scrunched his eyebrows.

"They're all people who ended up homeless one way or the other. They could have easily joined a gang, or robbed some random fucking store… maybe even ended up killing some people…"

He was listening, and that was encouraging.

"But they made a choice not to do that shit, no matter what their fucking circumstances were, they decided they were gonna do good, help people… you know, not be dicks their whole lives."

He snickered a little… "Well, what about you? You're a dick."

I laughed through my nose at that shit.

_Very fucking funny Kid._

"I'm a grown man though. I have every right to be a dick, I've lived through other dicks being enormous dicks, that's makes my dickery okay."

He shook his head at me and we kept bagging for a while, not saying much else, but I could tell, he was letting things sink in, making some choices of his own, which I hoped were good ones.

When we left and were back at the apartment, I pulled out some more money for him.

"What's this for?"

"I need you to run some errands for me." I took out my pad of paper and started a list, then handed it to him.

He took it and asked "So, what… I work for you now?"

Hmmmm. I thought about that. "Yeah, you're an official employee of Edward Cullen, the dick."

He laughed and asked "Cool, do I get a gun?" all fucking excited and shit.

"Um, how about, NO." I told him. I mean, seriously, what am I, stupid?

"Fine." He said, shuffling his feet a little.

I added to the deal "This is as long as you stay out of trouble Kid. I catch you hanging out with the wrong crowd again and I'll kick your ass myself. Got it?"

"Got it, thanks Edward." He said and started to run off to start his errand running. Watching him all giddy and shit made me wonder something, but I needed data.

"Seth!" He turned around and I waved him back, creasing my eyebrows, I asked "You got a last name kid? I mean, where are you from anyway? How'd you end up homeless?"

He twisted his mouth a little, shrugging, and said "I don't know, I… all I know is I lived with this asshole for a long time that wasn't my dad, and he had other kids there, he used to beat us, especially if we ever asked about our real parents, soo….."

"You mean like an orphanage?"

"No, like this guy's house… I don't even remember where it was, Southeast DC I think, I left as soon as I could get out on my own and never looked back." He looked down at the ground then. "Felt kinda bad leaving the little ones behind, but I couldn't exactly take care of more than just me."

_Fucking abusive… pieces of…_

Well fuck. That didn't help much.

The only thing that told me was that it was very fucking possible that he had family somewhere that didn't know where he was. Or maybe they did, maybe they left him with this ass-hat for dead or some shit like that.

This town soooooo needs an enema.

I didn't really wanna think about it, so I tucked it away for another time, maybe I'd see if Jazzman could pull anything on him for me. Ya never fucking know, right?

"OK, Seth, get going… and when you're done, just leave the shit outside my door in a box or somethin', I'll get it later."

"Will do Edward! Thanks man!" He said and took off again and I set to go inside and face my next case to get started on against The Swan.

Muldoon was upping the stakes again. And over the next couple of days, things went about the same as they had over the weekend.

The Swan got the jump on Sunday, just like I'd figured she would. I was a little bitter about that when I found out it was regarding some car jackings that ended up being partly related to a case I was already working on for some poor schmuck who's girlfriend had taken his Saturn Sky for a joy ride and gotten herself mugged and the car taken.

Which is pretty much what happens when you go partying on the wrong side of town, bragging about your shit, and leaving your fucking purse sitting on the hood of your car while you flirt with gang bangers. She was lucky she'd only gotten mugged.

But I digress.

My point is, I don't typically get paid when someone other than me solves the fucking case.

And The Swan was becoming the most popular reason on my list for that happening lately.

I got her good on Monday though.

I had to stop and laugh just thinking about it.

Her truck just happened to be parked outside of the Ram's Head on my way to pick up one of those 'pay as you go' cell phones for Seth. You know, in case he fucking needed me for something sometime.

What?

He's an employee now, I can't just assume he'll WALK to my place if some shit starts happening.

Anyway, I took it upon myself to remove a very small, yet important piece of Miss Swan's engine on my way to the Cell Phone store, knowing she'd need to call Rose to fix that old ass piece of shit she drove. Also knowing it was Rose's day off, and The Swan wouldn't be getting a hold of her, since she was with Emmett, who also had the day off, and I was pretty sure they didn't have their fucking cell phones with them, wherever they were.

Long story short, I ended up solving a vandalism for the Museum of Natural History, and tied things up once again.

I got some pretty nasty texts from The Swan at the end of the day that day, including one that said:

"_I assume I no longer owe you for lost photos since the cost to get my engine part replaced well out shined your loss of revenue from that little mishap."_

I wrote her back asking: "_Who is this?_"

To which she replied: _"Fuck. you."_

_Nice._

So I wrote back wondering: "_In front of the BFF? Or no?"_

Although I... REALLY wanted to know the answer to that question, she didn't write back after that.

Tuesday proved to be fairly quiet. Muldoon wrote us and said the cases were null for the day which made me a happy motherfucker, because that meant I would actually be able to fucking make it… on time no less… to Alice's show that night.

I spent a very lazy fucking morning drinking coffee, touching base with Em to see if he wanted to meet me at the show and asking if ma and dad were planning on going.

That was an affirmative by the way… _lovely_.

Then I went to the office to check on some shit. I thought maybe today I'd get around to developing those negatives from the Mayor's case, you know, for shits and grins, to see if anything happened to pop up on them. I wanted to make sure no new cases came in overnight anyway.

After I parked and got out of the Vanquish, a streak of red caught my eye and I looked to see what it was.

_Mother fucker._

The god damn red Ferrari, skidded and parked about a block away and someone got out.

A female some one.

A blonde female some one.

_Shit._

She was wearing a trench coat that was way to fucking big for her, which was odd in itself, I mean it wasn't that fucking cold out today, and she had on a pair of those huge ass sunglasses. You know, the ones that cover your whole face practically? So I didn't get a great look at her, unfortunately.

She didn't seem to notice me, so I crept up along the side walk and followed her into the bookstore she went into.

This wouldn't have been a very big fucking deal if this particular fucking blonde female didn't seem awfully fucking familiar to me.

The size of her frame, the color of her hair, the way she walked.

I didn't want to even fucking think about it.

Didn't let my mind go there, even though my stomach apparently was.

_It's not her, Cullen. It can't be, she's fucking dead. It's some other blonde._

Yeah, some other random blonde, all tied up in with taking shots at people… breaking into my apartment… getting her car serviced at the very place mostly cops go to… and Arrow fucking Shipping may as well be plastered all over her fucking bumper, because we all know they have something to do with this fuckery.

_Not a coincidence._

Also not sloppy. She wanted me to see her.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Emmett l but there was no fucking answer.

"Em… it's Edward… there's um… shit… that fucking Ferrari is on the street where my office is. If you get this, call me… or, fucking coming down here."

I hung up and checked the tags as I entered the store. Yep… it was the same god damn car.

I saw only a glimpse of the top of the blonde's head, moving toward the back of the store and I quickly made my way in after her. Following her path, I pulled my Colt out and readied myself for anything.

When I got to the back of the store, though, no blonde. The only thing I ran into was an "Employees Only" door, and a shop keeper, who was straightening some shit on the shelves there.

"Excuse me, did you see where the blonde just went that came back here?"

"I'm sorry?" She asked, eying my gun and looking a little nervous.

"A blonde woman, she just passed you, did you see where she went? Does she work here?"

The woman looked at me like I was crazy and said, hesitantly, "Sir, nobody came this way."

I laughed, because that was fucking bullshit. "Yes, she did, I watched her… she walked right passed you."

She shook her head. "No, I definitely would have noticed that."

_Wonder how much she paid you to fucking lie lady._

I wanted to blast the woman for lying to me, but instead I ignored her ass, and opened up the "Employees Only" door, going into the office there to look around. "Sir, you can't go back there." The store keep was saying, but I really didn't give a flying fuck at that point, I was finding this blonde bitch and confronting her ass.

"Sir!" She said again, then went to the phone in the back.

Probably to call the god damn police.

_Well I say BRING IT ON!_

The thing was, no one was in there either. The room was fucking tiny, so it's not like she could have hidden in there for Christ's sake. But she definitely didn't pass me on the way to the back of the store. I would have noticed that shit.

"Fuckin'… what the hell?"

A car started up loudly outside and I bolted to the front of the shop to see the rear end of the fucking Ferrari take off at full speed down the street.

_Mother of fucking… SHIT!_

I spent roughly, a second or so, thinking about running back for the Vanquish, but realized that, by the time I'd get to the car and started off, she'd be long gone.

I huffed through my nose and started walking back to the office when a Maryland State Trooper pulled up. It was Eric Yorkie.

"Hey Edward." He said all friendly like as I passed him.

"Sup Yorkie."

"Is there a… problem?"

I shook my head. "Nope, just… out for a walk."

"We got a call there was a crazy dude looking for a phantom woman in the book store there. You know anything about that?"

"Nope." I kept walking.

He grabbed my arm and I didn't see this shit ending well. I turned and eyed him and got a flash of how The Swan must feel when people did that shit to her, including yours truly, because I wanted to deck the fucker for touching me.

Since he was a State Trooper though, that would probably be a bad fucking idea, so I just pulled my arm out of his grasp and said "I didn't do anything wrong Yorkie, I just had some questions for the woman."

He gave me a grimace and said "Look, we go way back, you, me and Em, so I'm gonna let it slide. But you can't harass the store owners like that Edward… you're not wearing a badge and you're not representing DCPD on a case, so it's not okay."

_Fuck you Yorkie._

"Yeah, okay." I said. "S'that all?"

"Yeah, see ya round Edward, tell Em I said hey."

_Sure thing asshat._

"Will do."

_Shit… there's Stepford Edward… Not cool._

"Thanks." He said.

"What the fuck ever, Yorkie."

_Better._

He mumbled something else but to tell ya the truth, I really didn't give a fuck what it was, so I just kept on walking to the Vanquish, because fuck if I felt like going into the office after that bullshit.

I headed home and played my Taylor T5 for a while, trying to get the notes right with something I'd been working on that wouldn't get out of my head.

It was well into the afternoon by the time I was half way fucking happy with that shit.

My cell phone buzzed and I realized I'd missed some calls, so I checked the voice mail and texts on it.

One text was from Alice, making sure I'd be at the fucking show later… "God damn, woman." I said it out loud, like she was standing right there or some shit. I texted her back and said "YES I am fucking coming tonight… see ya later."

Another was from Em, asking if everything was alright and I texted him back saying it was cool, that I'd fill him in later.

The first voice mail message from from Dr. Denali, reminding me of an appointment we'd had coming up. "And Mr. Cullen, I hope I don't need to remind you that missing this appointment is not an option."

I mocked her, repeating her last words and making a funny face at my phone.

_Fucking whacked out court system._

The second and last mail message that was on there was from dad.

My stomach turned a little when I listened to it. He said "Hi Edward, it's dad, just… calling to say…" I could hear mom in the background saying something to him, but couldn't make it out. Then he finished with "Look I'm sorry about the other night, I was out of line, I uh… hope we see each other later on tonight at the show. Um… Bye."

_Weird._

It really wasn't like dad, at all, to fucking admit he'd done ANYTHING wrong, much less apologize for that shit. So I had to wondered what the fuck ma had done or said to him to make him comply.

"Hmm." I thought, and closed the phone up, checked the clock and then headed to my bedroom to visit the dreaded "Alice" closet and pick something out I knew she would be happy to see me in.

I picked the black khaki type pants she said I looked hot in, and a deep blue button down, no fucking tie tonight, screw that, if Alice beat me, she beat me… I hate the way those fuckers strangle me. I also went with fucking Chuck Taylors tonight, the black ones. No one would notice, it would be dark as fuck and who's looking at your shoes at these things anyway?

Right?

I raced over to Alice's show, pretty contented in the fact that I would actually fucking be on time for once and was met outside by Emmett and Rose.

Was it a little weird seeing them together like that now a days? A little.

But I was happy for the dick-weed, at least he'd finally fucking followed up on how he felt about Rose and wasn't sitting on his hands wishing he would instead.

I nodded. "Ma and dad here yet?"

"Not yet, dad called though, he's on his way."

"Perfect, I need a drink." I stated, rubbing my hands together as I started into the building.

"Edward." Rose stopped me, _here we go_. "Yeah Rose?"

"Just curious, when are you planning on ceasing and desisting of the little 12 year old 'I like you so I'm gonna pull your pig tails' shit with Bella?" She cocked an eyebrow at me while pulling her coat around her a little more. It was fucking cold as shit outside, and she wants to chit chat?

I stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets and said "Can we take this inside Rose? It's god damn forty degrees out tonight."

"No." She stood her ground, like she was planting her feet in the sand when the waves try to suck you out to sea at the beach. "I wanna know and I'm not willing to let you go inside and start avoiding me, so if you wanna warm up, you should probably hurry the fuck up and answer my question."

Jesus, what is with the women around this town lately?

"Rose, first of all, I'm not playing any games with Swan that she didn't fucking start, and secondly…"

Fuck if I knew what the hell I was doing. This shit fuckery was all new to me. I didn't even really know what the hell I was supposed to be doing other than what I always did, which was… wing it.

That was where I decided, why am I answering to Rose anyway? She's not my mother.

"Yeah?" She prodded.

"Secondly," I did the best little kids voice I could do while freezing my fucking ass off. "I'll pass a note to Emmett later with my answer and another question that you can circle yes or no to."

Then I turned around and stomped off like a little temper tantrum throwing five year old.

Laughing all the way into the warmth.

"Let the games begin, ladies and gentlemen." I said to no one as I grabbed a beer from the open bar and made my way to the long velvet curtains across the room where I knew Alice was, dressing her girls and getting them jazzed up for the show.

I peeked behind the long fabric that was hanging, and had to smile when I saw Alice helping some girl who was bent over, ass in the air. And oh, what a nice ass it was, too.

At a closer glance of said ass, I saw the girl had on...

_Oh shit, Alice didn't tell me this was a fucking lingerie show._

Fuckin' A if that wasn't exactly what I'd needed to get my god damn mind off of The Swan.

Hell yeah, this show would do just fine.

I made eye contact and waved, making my way over to her, except she didn't exactly look like she wanted me to make my fucking way over to her, because she said something to another girl and practically ran at me, pushing me out of the back room.

"What the fuck Alice, you pimpin' strippers now?" I laughed, teasing her.

"Edward Cullen, of all nights to be early." She said, slinking her arm into mine and turning us around to go the other way. "You're not allowed back there tonight." She looked me up and down once and told me while picking lint off of my shoulder, "Nice choice by the way, except for the Chucks."

I snorted. "Alice, it's not like they don't all have shit I haven't already fucking seen before. Many times." I said, winking at one of the girls that was passing by in her thong, the only thing covering her breasts was her hair.

_Mother._

I was following her with my eyes while she walked away when Alice elbowed me in the gut. "Stop staring at Ashley, she's shy."

_Yeah, right._

"Ow, Jesus, what the fuck is with the women in my life elbowing my ass?"

"Oh, Edward…" She slapped me in the arm and said "Go get another beer, hang out with Emmett, and relax, I'll see you after the show."

She bounced up and kissed me on the cheek, then disappeared behind the curtain, telling some big dude something, probably to not let me cross the line, because the way he looked at me, I felt like a fucking bull in a bullfight, that was contemplating how to get the pretty red cape that the nice man was waving at me.

_Hmph._

I decided against trying to make it past Frankenstein, smiled at him, and then went for another beer, 'cause I sure as shit wasn't gonna go hang out with "twenty questions" Rosalie, that's for fucking sure.

A few more minutes passed and the lights dimmed, the music started and Alice came out on stage to cheers and clapping, announcing her new line and then she started calling out the girls names and one by one they did they sexy little walks out onto the catwalk, showing off their size nothing waists and beautiful "outfits" for lack of a better word.

"Our first model, is CiCi…" She started ranting about the type of material CiCi was wearing, where it was from, all that good stuff when I heard a voice from behind me.

"Hello Edward."

_Dad… _

"Wow," I started, without looking at him. "Two events in one week, we're setting a record."

A small laugh escaped him and then I had to look, because that couldn't possibly be my fucking father laughing at something I said.

But it was.

"Where's ma?" I asked, noticing she wasn't with him.

"She stayed home tonight, said I needed some bonding time with my sons." He was ordering a beer, and I had a weird Twilight Zone moment.

I furrowed my brow. "And that would be because…?"

He sighed and I heard Alice announcing the next model to come out, "Dani is from the good old U.S of A… and she has on…" I was getting a little annoyed with dad suddenly for distracting me from the show.

I mean, this was all about Alice tonight, right?

What?

"I'm not getting any younger Edward, all this bickering, it needs stop."

"I agree." I took another swig of my beer, trying to end the conversation so I could pay attention to the show. You know, just in case Alice grilled me after wards.

"Great, then why don't we have a nice night… and enjoy the show, shall we?"

"Sounds like a plan."

I turned to watch the stage again as model number three made her way back behind the curtain.

_Damn, missed that one._

"So, any news on the … competition? Emmett told me all about it."

_Of course he did._

"No dad, it's pretty tied up right now." I said, turning my head slightly to answer him, but trying not to miss anything on stage as model number four came out. She had on a white lacey number with a boostier that just barely covered her navel. "Nai is wearing sheek red velvet tonight..." Alice advised us.

"You know, a seat on the force would be really good for your career moving forward, you could finally get out of the grunt work you've been doing for the last four years."

_He never gives up._

Well fuck me, now I was pissed. Because that statement was gonna need direct eye contact with dad for the rebuttal, and that meant I was about to miss model number five. "Mona dons an early eighteenth century replica of…"

"Dad." I said, turning to him, and putting my bottle on the bar. "I like my job, it's full-filling, I have no boss to answer to, no corruption, because…" I laughed "I'm it! I'm the big kahoona, the shining star, the end all, be all, and I'm pretty sure…" I padded my chest and arms, then my legs and chest again. "Yeah, I'm definitely not corrupt, so I can trust my regiments."

"Edward… this is ridiculous, I know Jess's death was hard on you son, but not everyone in the police force is corrupt… you don't think your brother is corrupt do you?"

"Ya know..." I started, feeling every muscle in my body tensing. "I'm getting a little fucking sick and tired of hearing the word 'ridiculous' come out of people's mouths with regards to Jess."

Model number six was passing me by as I heard Alice tell us "Alicia is wearing one hundred percent silky sheerness tonight…"

_Bye bye model number six._

He was about to say something to my comment, but I wasn't about to continue to allow him to minimalize Jess's murder. "And as far as your question about Em… It's only a matter of time, the way I see it."

"That's uncalled for Edward."

"Dad! Fuck! Seriously?" I slammed my beer down. "Are you really that disappointed in me that you can't for fucking once, say, hey, Edward, I heard you busted your god damn ass today to close a case, _good job!"_

"_Disappointed?_ Edward…"

"Fuck it." I pushed passed him, deciding this shit was for the fucking birds when I heard Alice… or at least, I THOUGHT I heard Alice announce "And please give a big welcome, to our newest model, Miss Bella Swan."

_Huh?_

That wasn't what she said. Right?

I was pretty fucking sure I'd heard that wrong, so I shook it off and kept moving.

I was almost at the doors after all, I could have just been hearing shit over the crowd, sometimes the noise from the audience makes things sound like what you wanna hear, and not what you…

"Bella is wearing a deep blue lace matching set of..."

_Bella?_

My body was turning against my own will, in what felt like slow motion, to see…

Holy.

_Eye Carumba!_ Eddy Jr. shouted, spinning in circles and bouncing off the walls of my boxers.

_Ditto Eddy… Ditto… my friend._

Dark Brown, Auburn hair, cascading around the shoulders. _Check_.

Smokey eyes, piercing to the soul. _Check_.

Deep, motherfucking blue, lace… _Holy shit_… 'barely covers the tits' bra. _Check_.

In fact, in narrowing my eyes a bit, I was pretty sure there was nipplage showing.

I swallowed as my eyes traveled lower. There was absolutely no coverage in the midriff area… at all.

_Holy fucking mother of all that's evil in a good way, that belly button._

I wanted to drink Patron out of that belly button.

A small belt was wrapped around her waist, dangling clips that attached to her… _fucking fishnet stockings._

And she may as well not have even been wearing god damn bottoms, because the lace that was there, only slightly fucking covered her…

I breathed out slowly.

_Tiny… dancer._

My eyes were locked and loaded, there's no way they were leaving area fifty one… nope, no way, not gonna happen… except…

_Oh Jesus tie me up and suck my dick, she had on the god damn fuck me boots._

I was getting really fucking warm.

_Shit, is anyone else warm?_

I looked around a little before locking my eyes on her again. I mean, shit, I couldn't breathe. The god damn Swan, was up on the mother fucking cat walk, strutting. _FUCKING STRUTTING_ to Alice's music, and I couldn't breathe a god damn breath of air to save my life.

I think my mouth must have been open for a minute or two before I realized I was drooling on myself and closed it again, because that there my friends, was utter… fucking… perfection up on that stage.

All I could do was stare, helplessly, as she walked perfectly, her deep brown eyes combing the crowd, working them, lips, parted slightly, the corners of her mouth turned up just a little bit at the ends, chest… heaving.

_Fuck._

The men in the crowd were reaching for her, throwing business cards at her, all of them just dying for a simple touch of the silky smooth skin lingering under the lacy fabric that clung to her.

I wanted to take my Colt out and shoot every one of the mother fuckers.

None of them seemed to phase her though, she just looked like she was being polite with the smiling, like she was fucking looking for something. Or _someone_.

I felt myself being drawn in, just like them, my feet floating across the floor, finding their way around all of the faceless fucking bodies that I didn't know or care to know, and in what felt like the blink of an eye, I was at the stage, and she was walking toward me, looking into the eyes of all the dick heads that just wanted to eye fuck her until…

She met mine.

_My eyes._

She might have skipped a beat or two, I don't fucking know, but once our eyes met, there was nothing else in that building. The room darkened, the music stopped, the people disappeared, and she was walking to me, her smile widened and she took that bottom fucking lip of hers into her mouth before dipping her head and looking up at me through her thick eyelashes.

**PART 2. THE SWAN**

"Dad, please just go, you're making me crazy anyway."

I was exhausted from all the competition craziness with Cullen. The couple of days that followed our confrontation at the crime scene over the weekend had proven to be non-stop. Sunday wasn't so bad, I cracked a case regarding some car jackings in the area before Cullen even showed his face for that case. It had made me wonder why I hadn't seen him all day that day, but I didn't dwell on it too much once Jake suggested taking me out to celebrate another victory.

It was the following day that really pissed me off.

Jake and I were working up a plan to go work on a vandalism issue with one of the DC museums, and when we went to leave, the truck had just, died.

It was a good thing I'd had Jake there to figure out what was missing, because I would have never found the missing piece of machinery that had been STOLEN from the damn thing.

_Fucking Cullen._

And apparently, the gods were not on my side that day, because I couldn't find Rose ANYWHERE, and Jake couldn't find the part he needed to fix it for me, so we were pretty much stuck.

By the time Jake got a rental car and we were able to pick it up, Cullen had already closed that case for Muldoon.

_Jerk._

I texted him telling him he pretty much could kiss that money he claimed I owed him goodbye regarding his photos, but he retorted, being a smart ass of course, with "who is this?" to which I stupidly told him "fuck you". I should have known better, but he just gets me all... UGH! And his last text asked me if I wanted him to fuck me in front of Jake or not...

_Definitely Not. _I thought, but I wasn't giving him the satisfaction... so I just turned my phone off at that point.

Anyway, back to dad, this was the fourth time the three of us, Jake, Dad and myself, had had this conversation that morning.

Forks Police had originally told him to take as much time off as he would need to be with me, but they'd called over night and said they really needed him for some investigation about some really big bears that were supposedly killing hikers in the woods around town.

It sounded a little scary.

He didn't look too convinced at my trying to send him home though. "You sure you're gonna be okay here Bells? I mean, I can call the force and…"

"Dad." I had to take a deep breath before telling him "I am not an alcoholic, and don't think that I don't know it was Cull… Edward who told you that."

Fucking asshole, I was gonna KILL HIM!

"Well… I…." He started, but I put my hand up to stop him. "Trust me, Dad, it was just his SICK idea of a joke."

"Wasn't very funny if ya ask me." He said, eying me. "And he didn't look like he was jokin'."

"Yeah, well, he's really good at pretending." I said, wondering if he'd been pretending to be enthralled with me the night of the Mayor's event, when he did all those wonderful things out on the court yard.

"Bells?" Jake was saying.

"What?"

"I think I'll stay, just you know, till the competition's over, help you out, if… it's okay I mean."

_Le sigh._

At first I wanted to kick them both out right then and there, I knew he was just staying because he didn't think I could take care of myself. But the truth was, I really could use his help. Fucking Cullen had all kinds of connections, and I had, _nothing_.

"Yeah, actually, that'd be kinda great… but, tonight…" I sucked in some air, because there was just no way, NO… WAY… Jake was gonna be seeing me in women's lingerie. "You're staying here and I'll call you when I'm done, we'll go out or something."

He smiled his big Jake smile for me and said "Cool. I'll take Charlie to the airport and see you back here later."

By the time he left to take Charlie to the airport, I was leaving for Alice's show, and trying to calm my nerves by reciting the periodic table of elements.

"It's gonna be okay, Swan. You're confident, pretty, semi coordinated… you can do this…"

I'd pretty much had myself convinced by the time I'd arrived.

"I don't know about this Alice." I told her, while we were all getting ready back stage later.

"Oh, settle down, Bella, you look stunning." She was fastening some hooks on the tiny pieces of lacy fabric she liked to call lingerie that she'd somehow managed to slip onto my body, and I was having really flippity floppity feelings in my stomach over this very bad decision on my part all of a sudden.

She'd spent what time she could with me over the past couple of days, training me for this, in between my bickering with Cullen over who screwed who over worse and spending time with Dad and Jake.

"It barely. Covers. My breasts, Alice." I said, trying to arrange the flimsy material so that it covered my damn nipples. "God, it's freezing in here."

She laughed "Yeah, I see that…" Then she slapped my hand away. "Stop it, you're gonna rip it."

My stockings were all crooked at the bottom, so I bent over to try and straighten it while she continued messing with my undies until I heard her say to one of the other girls "Jenny, fix this strap on the side, will ya, I'll um… be right back." And then she left me. Alone, and half naked with all these girls. One of whom was stealing from her and I still hadn't figured out who it was yet.

"You're gonna do great ya know." Jenny said to me while my ass was bared to her.

I stood up and she fixed my hair a little. "First time's always the worst, don't worry." She winked and then she was gone. I didn't exactly know what to do with myself.

I have this nervous tick thing I do, where I try to cover myself, then act nonchalant, then cover myself again… it's a vicious circle. And very awkward.

I pretty much did that until I heard Alice's familiar voice again.

"Okay girls, let's get ready! Show time!" FINALLY, she was back.

Oh fuck… show time… "That means in a few minutes, everyone out in that audience was going to see me… naked."

_Or at least I may as well have been._

I was in the beginning stages of hyperventilating, I could tell, which didn't help matters much.

"Bella, look at me." Alice said, taking my face in her hands and looking me in the eyes. "You are so spectacular looking tonight, and if Edward doesn't see that, well, then fuck him."

I opened my mouth to say something, but then, I scrunched my eyes. "_Edward?_ What?"

She smiled, a devilish smile at me and then made this face like she was a child getting ready to get scolded and I felt sick all of a sudden. "Alice…"

"Bella… you're number seven, so…"

"Alice, please, tell me, he's not here."

"Okay, he's not here." She smiled.

Then suddenly, like a wave of nausea, I realized just how sneaky this little pixie-like creature was, and wondered how much devil influence was inside of her that she could do something so evil, so... cruel, as to throw me out to the wolf in sheep's clothing like this.

I take that back, he doesn't even try to hide the fact that he's a wolf!

"You don't… have… a thief in your midst… do you?" I asked, through gritted teeth.

She sucked in a breath and pointed at my mouth. "That's not good for your teeth Bella, you'll grind them."

"Alice…" I closed my eyes tightly. "How _could_ you…"

"The two of you just needed a push Bella, you've been acting juvenile. And anyway, I didn't really do anything but put you in the same building together." She smiled and nodded toward the catwalk. "He's out there, and he doesn't know you're here either, so if I were you, I'd put my game face on Miss Swan, and knock his fucking socks off."

She moved behind the curtain and I could see the spotlight shining down on her behind the podium as she announced her line of lingerie excitedly.

I peeked through the crack in the curtains to see if I could find him, but the lights were so bright that were shining onto the stage, I couldn't really see anything past the first row or so of men in their suits and ties, all waiting for the models to come out and strut their stuff.

"Oh boy." I said to no one.

I closed the curtain up and breathed in. "OK, this is easy, just like that first day you met him, in his office… there's just more people out there."

I tried to psyche myself up for it. "They're all naked, just like you Swan… naked and funny looking."

I shook my arms and steadied myself as the models went out, one by one when Alice announced them. They all seemed to be so sure of themselves, and the men were just eating them all up like candy, throwing things at them… pieces of paper it looked like, which they all ignored.

I finally had an epiphany moment with myself watching the girls go out there.

Hell, I was sure of myself too, screw that, this was just another case… that… wasn't actually a case after all… but none the less, I could definitely do this, play the part, and if Cullen was out there, well, he could kiss my ass.

Literally.

"And please give a big welcome, to our newest model, Miss Bella Swan."

_Shit._

_OKAY, here's goes nothing!_

Just as I separated the curtains, the music for my item started blaring, and I was in the zone, I loved this song, hell yeah, I am Bella _queen of the lingerie models_ Swan, and I am a bad… _ass!_

I walked down the cat walk just like I'd practiced and seen the other girls do over the weekend, and made eye contact with all of the men reaching over the chains separating them from me, being pushed back by the security guards.

Hell I even winked at a few of them.

It was actually pretty fun, and with every step I took, I gained more confidence, whipping my hips side to side and making every step extremely deliberate in my decent to the turns I'd made.

The men were all handsome, they all had on high end business suits, ties, perfect hair, perfect teeth, nice enough smiles.

But none of them were Cullen that I could see.

They threw their pieces of paper at me, which turned out to be business cards, and they all fell at my feet. Men whistled, screaming things that seemed incoherent, clapping loudly as I passed them.

None tickled my fancy though.

_They weren't him._

I felt a tiny pang of disappointment as I made my way down the cat walk, scanning the crowd for him, but he wasn't out there.

I tried to keep the appropriate smile on my face as I continued down the walkway.

None of these guys impressed me. They didn't have his keen wit, and smart-ass retorts, or just general all around full of themselves-ness… Looking out at them and all their eagerness to touch me, I knew I'd didn't want any of these jokers. I'd never want any of them.

I wanted the Dick.

_Shit._

I was just about at the end of the walk, ready to do my turn, when…

_There he was. _

It was like… magic, like I'd willed him to appear in front of me. One minute, he wasn't there, the next, he was, staring into my eyes with those absolutely gorgeous green orbs of his, crooked smile in place.

_Magnetic._

I jumped for a second when I saw him, but then regained my composure and kept my rhythm with the music as I became very warm all of a sudden and couldn't help the blood from rushing to my cheeks as I bit down on my lip, willing it to go away.

I went to turn, still looking into his eyes and…

The next thing I knew, the floor was no longer beneath me and I was falling, face first into said smart-ass's lap, causing us to both tumble onto the floor.

People moved out of the way, gasping as Cullen banged his head pretty hard on the floor. I heard the crack, and he winced, but never let go of me, making sure I didn't hit the floor myself.

I was straddling him, shocked at what had just happened, and suddenly couldn't help but notice… well let's just say, I think Eddy Jr. enjoyed my spin on the cat walk.

_MMmmmph._

"Swan." Cullen groaned, pulling his hand from my waist, rubbing his head. "If I keep having to fucking catch you, I'm gonna start charging your sexy ass."

I laughed. "OhMyGodIAmSoSorryCullen, I…" He opened his eyes and looked at me, then at the rest of me, laying on top of him, half naked, and smirked at me. My smile dwindled into a bit of an embarrassed look and he quickly put his hand behind my head, pulling me into his lips.

"Mmmm." I whimpered, because his lips on mine? It had been too long, and I just loved the way they moved in sync with each other. His tongue slid inside of my mouth and I wanted to bite it I was so hungry for him.

I might have also grinded into Eddy Jr. at that point.

"Fuck, Swan." He murmured as he broke apart from me and I almost didn't let him, except I had to breathe. I put my lips to his again as his hands moved to caress my back, feeling at the flimsy fabric there and he groaned a little when his fingers grazed the hem of my bottoms.

"Mother of god." He whispered against my lips. This was just about when both of us realized there were other people still standing around, just… you know… watching the show we were putting on in front of them.

Suddenly, cheering broke out and people clapped and hooted and hollered and the loudest of them all was Emmett, who was standing directly over me, laughing his butt off at the spectacle we'd put on.

"Jesus, Em." Cullen whispered, pushing me off of him a little so he could get up. Then he offered me his hand and I took it.

When I stood up, he held on to my hand, staring at it, then his eyes roamed my body, before he met my eyes again and he said "Swan, you are the god damn epitome of fucking perfection, you know that?" Then he took my hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it, pulling me into him afterward and kissing me again.

_Mmmmmm…. More kissing. Yes, I like this. Very much._

I felt like I was Scarlet O'Hara in Gone With the Wind… only… a lot less clothes, and Cullen didn't have a mustache like Clark Gable did, but you get my drift.

My hands glided around him, feeling his muscles through the soft button down shirt he'd worn that showed off his beautiful shoulders. I wanted to un-tuck that bad boy and feel him underneath of it, and maybe jump his bones.

People may have started to dissipate after that, I didn't know, and I didn't care, all I cared about was the he was kissing me again, and that I was really glad I hadn't let Jake come tonight.

Cullen pulled away from our kiss, staring into my eyes and I heard Emmett say "Damn bro, took you long enough."

I laughed and Cullen smiled at me because, little did Emmett know…

"Fuck off Em." He said over his shoulder without breaking our eye contact. His hands were on my shoulders now, rubbing them softly, trying to cause some friction to warm me up I guess, I was still freezing.

"What the hell were you doing on a god damn cat walk, Swan? Tired of P.I. work?" He chuckled at me.

"Your um… sister… was…" I shook my head, a little embarrassed.

"Fucking Genius." He finished for me, a slight chuckle escaping his mouth, realizing the evil scheming plan Alice had concocted, I suppose.

"Dude you still haven't filled me in on the Ferrari from earlier." Emmett told him, oblivious to the fact that we were trying to have a god damn moment here.

"Not tonight." Cullen told him as his hands moved to either side of my face, his thumbs gently glided across my bottom lip before he kissed me again, softly this time. "I'm fucking sorry." He whispered in my ear, "About Saturday... I didn't..." He trailed off and I closed my eyes, nodding, feeling a pang in my chest that made me think my heart was going to jump out of my body all together.

Rose said "Come _ON_ Em…" and he nudged Cullen, telling him "Okay bro, you know where to reach me." And then he turned to leave with Rose who winked at me before following along with him.

Then it hit me what he'd just said.

My eyes fluttered back to Cullen and I asked him "The Ferrari? Today? You saw it?"

"It's not important right now Swan." He was walking backwards a little, pulling me along, toward a dark corner, where we could sit, or… _something_.

He went to kiss me again but I stopped him, putting my hand on his chest. "The red Ferrari. The one who's driver took a shot at you? And then broken into your apartment? That's not important?"

He laughed, gliding his fingers down my arms, to my hands, pulling them out to my sides, taking in the sight of me and said "It's a little hard to take you seriously as a P.I. while you're dressed in lingerie, Swan." Then he pulled me closer, wrapping my hands around his waist. "Although, there are a few things I could think of that I'd like to take _off_ of you… if you…"

I was basking in his sweet words, trying to time out how long it would take to get him home, kick Jake out and get Cullen into my bed when he stopped talking.

I turned my head up to see what was wrong, and he looked like he'd seen a ghost or something, so I turned more to try and follow his line of sight, but saw nothing but a sea of people.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

He was tipping toeing now, inching away from me, looking for someone and I was trying to follow behind him.

"Cullen…" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to throw his concentration off, but really god damn curious as to why the kissing was stopping.

He looked to me, and seemed genuinely torn about something, maybe even a little pained, but then became quite determined and said "I gotta go. Fuck… I'll call you."

There I was, standing alone, just like that, and he was lost in the crowd, making his way hastily toward the opposite side of the building where I knew the back exit was.

I looked around… because _hell no_ was he gonna leave me like that and not tell me what the frick was going on.

_Not this time, Cullen._

"Alice!" I yelled to her as I saw her just a little ways away from where I stood. I had a funny feeling this evening wasn't going to play out quite like I thought it was a minute or so before.

_Gun… clothes… truck…_

That's what I needed. In that order.

**PART 3. CULLEN**

It was her again, god damn it.

Red Ferrari driving, looks a hell of a lot like…

_Fuck._

What was she doing there? I had to catch up with her this time.

"Cullen?" I could barely hear The Swan's voice calling out in question, confused, pissed. Who knows.

My fucking head was spinning… _what did she say?_ "I gotta go… fuck… I'll call you."

I pushed people out of my fucking way and heard the cursing and bustling as I did, not really giving a shit, just focusing on the blonde that was quickly furthering herself from me again.

She slipped out of the back door as I ran into dad. "Son, are you okay?" he asked, grabbing me by the arms, sounding concerned. Who the hell knows what my face must have been saying at that point. I was frantic for fuck's sake.

"Dad…" I swallowed… "It's… I don't… listen… call Em… tell him… Fuck… nevermind." I pushed him away and made my way out the same door I'd seen the blonde go through.

When I entered the alleyway, I looked both ways, finally seeing her, practically running now toward the street and surely to her car that was waiting for her to make another getaway.

"SHIT!" I ran out right after her, knowing if she made it to the car, I'd be fucked, again, with no way to get back to the Vanquish in time to tail her.

"Jess!"

I was calling out her name, knowing fully fucking well it wasn't her… But god damn it I couldn't help myself.

She slowed, and turned slightly but then kept running, full speed this time.

"Jess!" I screamed again.

No fucking way was this a god damn coincidence. I mean, you might have been able to have fucking convinced me of that shit earlier, in the book store… but fuck that, it was her, I knew it. It fucking had to be.

_No, Cullen, it's fucking impossible. It's more likely you're going insane my friend. Sorry._

Okay, so then why was I chasing a god damn ghost?

This shit was so fucking ten times to Sunday whacked it wasn't even funny.

I rounded the corner as she was slipping into the Ferrari and I punched the god damn brick wall there in anger as she began to speed off again. "Motherfucker!"

That's when a big red, dilapidated truck pulled up next to me and The Swan rolled down her window asking me "Wanna ride?"

_Small favors… Thank you god!_

"Swan." Was all I said, keeping an eye on the fucking Ferrari while I ran around to the passenger's side and hopped into her ride.

And I say 'ride' because I'm being fucking nice, since she did after all give me the opportunity to follow Je… whoever it was I was following.

"Follow that fucking Ferrari Swan." I said once I was in, and she stepped on the gas.

We were falling behind, which didn't fucking surprise me one god damn bit considering the piece of shit we were in.

Okay, the niceties were over apparently.

"Swan, can you just… step on the…" I was pointing to her gas pedal.

She looked at me and then at my foot, which was pressing into the fucking floorboard onto a make believe gas pedal of my own, trying to make the god damn truck go faster.

"Cullen, I'm going as fast as I can without pushing her too hard, I can still see her… don't worry, we won't lose her."

I began bouncing my leg impatiently.

"So who is it? Did you see her? Was she at the show? Is that why you left?"

_Twenty fucking questions again._

I raked my hands through my hair and then across my face.

No god damn way was I telling her '_Uh, yeah Swan, I see dead people." _That wouldn't scare her off at all. "I … no, I just recognized her from earlier… I just know we need to fucking catch up with that car Swan, and end this shit."

She watched the road, but I saw the little crease in between her eyebrows forming, so I knew she was only putting that shit on the back burner for now.

My leg continued to bounce until I recognized the area of town we were suddenly in.

_The shipping district._

"This isn't right." I muttered.

"No, I saw her pull into one of these ship yards, Cullen, we're in the right place."

My stomach turned as I saw the gate closing from someone entering the ship yard that my subconscious probably knew we'd be pulling into.

_Arrow motherfucking Shipping._

"Fuck me, this is not happening."

"Cullen… are you okay, you look…"

"Fine." I said through gritted teeth. Willing this shit to be a dream. Just a bad, fucking twisted dream I was having due to lack of sleep and food and …

There it was, parked all shiny like a blinking fucking sign that read "here I am, fucking with you, see me?", right fucking smack in front of Arrow Shipping's main building. All I could do was stare. I felt frozen, like my eyes were glued to the fucking horror show things had turned into suddenly.

"Cullen." The Swan was nudging me.

The Swan parked a little ways away so we wouldn't be seen. I opened the car door and got out as quietly as I could, leaving it slightly ajar and walking like a fucking zombie toward the gate that led to the Red Ferrari's owner.

_There's a logical explanation for this Cullen. Think._

But I couldn't think. I was mush. All I could think about was getting passed the tall rod iron fencing and into that shipping yard to go in search of the blonde driver of the vehicle that tends to be haunting me now.

_Yeah. Perfect sense._

I crouched down, watching the front door, trying to come up with a game plan when I felt a body next to me. I looked to see The Swan, and that's when I really got a good look at her since leaving Alice's show. She'd pulled on a short black skirt to wear, that was barely covering the bottoms that were barely covering… anything. But that wasn't what caught my attention. Her top was this white, practically see through cover up thing that told me she'd forgotten a little something called clothes when she left the show.

_Mary mother of Jesus._

"Swan, tell me you're not wearing the god damn lingerie underneath that." I said, closing my eyes, waiting impatiently for her answer.

"Um… I was kinda in a hurry Cullen, I didn't exactly have time to change."

"And the fuck me boots?" I asked. I was completely losing my mind.

"The what?"

I looked down, and yep… she definitely still had the fuck me boots on.

_Christ._

"Nothing." I turned back to the warehouse, trying to stay focused. Or, as focused as my mind would let me at the moment.

I don't know why she asked me, but I assume it was because I didn't look right. Hell, I didn't feel right. "Cullen, you… REALLY… don't look so good, you wanna tell me what's going on?"

I did some deep breathing before answering her. I mean, fuck it, I'm definitely going crazy, why not say it out loud?

"Well… There's a woman in that building, who may, or may not be my dead best friend, who I thought was killed at this very warehouse about four years ago. I'm gonna corner her ass, and ask her why she's taking pot shots at me, and breaking into my apartment, and then I may or may not get into a gun fight with her, since there's a very good chance she's playing on the wrong side of the law, killing her in the end all over again, which is making my head do shit that doesn't feel too good."

I stayed staring at the building, waiting for The Swan to make a call to 911, and maybe the crazy farm.

"Are you aware that you babble when you're stressed, Cullen?"

_Duh._

"No, Swan, I wasn't aware of that." I told her sarcastically, not willing to make any sort of eye contact.

She didn't say anything for a few minutes and I thought for sure she was second guessing herself about associating with a psychopath, and then I finally heard her say… "Okay."

I looked back at her.

"What?"

She looked me in the eyes and repeated it. "Okay… let's do it."

I scowled at her, standing up, and she followed my lead. We stood there, having our own little stare off it felt like, before I just… grabbed her and kissed her ass.

She gasped a little, surprised I'm sure at my sudden need to feel her fucking lips against mine, but I couldn't take it.

The confusion, the fury, the want… I had to fucking have her.

And god damn if this wasn't the right time or place for that shit.

I pulled her tightly into me, not wanting to let go, and she wrapped her petite little arms around my neck, pushing the blue laced bra up, making her breasts pro-fucking-foundly push up against my body. I swear I could feel her nipples harden as she did it.

"Fuckin' A, Swan, I wish…" I started, putting my hand against the back of her head, kissing her forehead and eying the god damn warehouse.

"I know." Was all she said.

We were both breathing pretty heavily when we heard commotion and the front door of the warehouse opened, several people spilling out.

"Isn't that… the Mayor?" The Swan asked, pointing and narrowing her eyes for a better look.

Well fuck if this shit wasn't getting more and more interesting by the minute. I backed up against a wall that hid us from plain view and pulled her up against me as we watched them. It really didn't help my fucking concentration with her god damn tits practically screaming at me, but I did my fucking best.

Her arm was around my waist, holding on to me while we observed the people exiting the building.

Mayor, some cops I didn't recognize… but one I did. "Newton."

"That's the ass-hat right?"

I had to laugh, 'cause come on, The Swan said _ass-hat_. "Yeah. Swan, that's the ass-hat."

No blonde though.

"hmmm."

"Hmmmm, what? What are you thinking?"

_Fuck. Get into the warehouse and follow the blonde down the rabbit hole? Or fry the Mayor's ass? Blonde...? Mayor...? Blonde...? _

There were way too many cops to fight out there for my taste. Not to mention the fact that fighting cops meant we'd find ourselves in fucking jail within a heart beat. That would be counter-productive, ladies and gentlemen.

_The Mayor it is._

"I really don't fucking know, Swan, to tell ya the truth, but I do think it's high fucking time we finished our investigation of Lauren's murder, don't you?"

She looked at me all cockeyed and asked "Why?"

I looked back at the Mayor and said "Because I really don't think the Mayor's wife killed her, or herself. And there's only one place we're gonna start finding some fucking answers."

"Where's that?"

"Lauren's apartment."

I was half way back to The Swan's truck, her running to keep up with me, when she asked "Cullen?"

"Yeah." I said getting into the driver's side.

Yeah, I'm that controlling okay? Get over it.

She stopped at the driver's side when she realized I was driving and went to get into the passenger's side, then handed me the keys without any fucking smart mouth shit to go along with it.

I was both relieved and surprised by that, but pushed it out of my mind as I started up the truck, which didn't wanna fucking start up for me on the first try.

I looked over at The Swan and she bit her god damn lip, thinking.

I really needed to tell her to stop doing that while we're working on a case together.

She hit the dashboard with her fist and the truck started up.

I didn't say a fucking word people. I think that action speaks for itself.

We were off, regardless of how the fucking truck started, and outta the Shipping district before The Swan actually asked me her question. She was biting her fingernail, staring at me while I watched the road, and her out of the corner of my eye.

"What, Swan."

"So… you and Lauren…"

"Uh… no."

"Then, how you do know where she lives?" She added, raising an eyebrow at me, probably thinking she'd caught the man whore in some lie or some shit like that.

I laughed at her. "I helped her with some cases Swan… that's it. And yes, things got a little hot and heavy at one point, but no, I didn't fuck her."

Jesus. Ya see why I don't do relationships, right?

"Hmmmm." She said.

Things were actually pretty quiet the rest of the way to Laurens; I used that time to think, or at least that's why I told myself I was doing, I was really just trying NOT to think about the fact that The Swan was sitting next to me, in basically nothing but a god damn piece of lace that covered just about nothing.

I had no idea what the game plan was once I got to Laurens, I just knew there had to be something. Some fucking clue that would piece this shit together for us.

_Us._

I peeked over at her and she was biting her nail again, gazing out of her window. Her profile was such that her neck was completely exposed, inviting me in, wanting me to finish what we'd fucking started at Alice's show earlier.

It fucking felt like forever ago.

Did that moment pass? Maybe.

Was that shit gonna stop me? I don't fucking think so.

"Here we are." I said as we pulled up to the building I hadn't been to in ages. I had no idea if there was gonna be a police line, or security, or what, but we were getting into that fucking apartment.

"I'm calling Jake." The Swan broke my train of thought with mention of her buddy.

"Why?" _And since when did I need anyone's help other than my own?_

"He's a cop, maybe he can play it off like he's helping with the investigation if we're stopped or something. And I don't live far from here. It won't take him long to show up."

As much as I hated to admit that shit, she was right. If anyone showed up, he'd be a good cover. I still couldn't call Em for this, he'd never play up to routing through a victim's place when Muldoon had already called the case closed.

"Fine but we're going in without him, he can play catch up when he gets here."

I got out of the truck and started into the building while The Swan called Jake and I was still waiting for the elevator inside when she finally caught up to me. "He's on his way." She said, and then after a minute. "Thanks."

"For…?" I asked, because shit The Swan says, makes no fucking sense to me sometimes.

"For letting me help you."

I refused at that point to let myself let that shit sink in and realize what it might have meant, so I just said "Whatever Swan, it's not like I had a choice in the matter." Looking up at the little display that told us the elevator was close.

She just smiled and nudged me and I laughed through my nose a little at her.

What?

The doors opened and we got in just as someone was coming into the building, but I didn't have time to hold the fucking door for them, so I pushed the "close doors" button and up we went.

"Got your lock picking tools, Swan?"

"Absolutely" she said, pulling a pin from her hair.

_Fuck that was hot. _

How is it that pulling a god damn pin out of her hair just made my dick hard?

And in the middle of a fucking investigation no less.

I shook my head.

"What?" She laughed.

"Nothing." I said, smiling.

"Cullen?"

_Oh boy._

"Yeah."

"What is it about partnering with someone that turns you off so badly?"

I sighed, and furrowed my brow, jetting my chin out a bit. "I don't know, Swan, it's … you know, a liability I don't need to take on… what if something happened, what if…"

"Someone got killed?"

_Yeah._

"Or, just, anything…" I trailed off and the doors opened for us. _Good timing my friends._

She left it alone and followed me down the hall to Lauren's apartment, immediately starting to work on the locks. We decided to pretend the yellow Police tape marking a big "X" across her doorway was just holiday decorations.

Hey, it's fucking possible.

As she was bent down like that on the floor, on her knees, her shirt rose up and the skirt she was wearing pulled down, exposing the blue lace bottoms she was wearing and I could even the little belt that was strapped to the fucking fish net stockings underneath.

I couldn't fucking help myself from staring, I mean seriously, I was _this close _to taking her home with me tonight.

_Home?_

The door popped open, washing that thought away and The Swan got up off of her knees, covering all the bare essentials again.

Pretty much.

_Fucking clothes._

I cleared my throat and said "Ladies first" as I motioned for her to go on in before me.

She leaned down and under the tape, into Lauren's front living room, and I went in behind her, getting an eerie fucking feeling as we walked past the couch I'd been sitting on with her at one time, going over information for an old case we shared information with each other on.

"Okay, what are we looking for?" She asked.

_Good question._

"I'll take the bedroom, you take the bathroom."

"The bathroom." She stated it, like that was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard of.

"Yes, Swan, the bathroom, people hide shit in their bathrooms all the time… it's classic."

She made a face like she'd never heard of that before and then shrugged, and went into the bathroom to look around.

The woman made me fucking crazy.

And I was pretty sure I was coming to the conclusion that I liked crazy.

In Laurens bedroom, I started with her dresser. I figured maybe she'd hide some pertinent piece of information in her delicates or some shit like that. Somewhere people, men, cops, would be uncomfortable looking through.

What? I'm serious.

_Nothing._

_Okay, maybe there's a secret panel in the closet._ I thought.

But there wasn't.

I raked my hand through my hair and breathed out through my nose, backing up and sitting my ass on her bed, when I felt an uncomfortableness under my ass.

And no, I don't mean like the bed was hard, I mean like there was something in the fucking mattress.

I walked out, past the bathroom The Swan was working in, to the kitchen and got a cutting knife. When I made my way back to the bedroom, she'd noticed me running past her again and came out to see what the hoo-ha was all about.

I pulled the bed spread and sheets and flung them over the bed and started cutting into Lauren's mattress when The Swan started in on me. "What the hell are you doing, crazy person?"

"I think I found what we're looking for." I said as I continued to rip through the insides of the mattress, feeling around for… _bingo_.

I pulled out a book. It looked like some sort of daytimer type thing and held it up for The Swan to see the treasure I'd found, and that I indeed, was NOT crazy, when someone said "Thank you Mr. Cullen, we'll be taking that."

_Seriously?_

_Fuck._

I didn't recognize the two goons that had come into the apartment. Their guns were already pointed at the two of us so I had no time to pull mine out, but we didn't necessarily need guns.

"Don't even think about touching the girl." I told them in warning, trying to piss them off.

They both laughed and goon number one said "Or what?"

The Swan looked at me and I winked, which made her eyes scrunch.

_Yeah, doesn't do much for the whole, "I'm not crazy" defense, Cullen._

"Or you'll probably get your ass kicked." I said. I think she caught on finally, thank god, because her stance changed, and I could tell she was ready now.

"Idiot." Goon number two said, shaking his head at me. "They said he was a dick, but I didn't think he was a stupid dick."

"Who said that?" I asked, pissed. "The Mayor? Because that was just the _one time_ I was really a dick to him, I mean, he's the one who cheated on his wife, right?" I laughed, with my hands up in the air. "Then had her murdered, maybe even did it himself, made it look like she killed Lauren and then herself? To cover up an accident maybe? Am I right? I'm right aren't I."

"SHUT IT!" Goon number one said, aiming his gun directly at my face now.

"Cullen…" The Swan whispered through the side of her mouth at me. "You're baaaaablinnnnngg."

_Don't I know it._

I suddenly noticed the silencers on their guns and my face fell a little. They weren't just here to take the god damn evidence.

_Cock-sucking sons of a motherfucker..._

I needed to get me one of those.

"Hand over the book, Mr. Cullen."

_I don't think so ass hat._

"Where's Newton, doesn't he usually handle shit like this?" I asked, hoping to buy some time while I thought of something.

They laughed to each other again and that's when Jake was suddenly there, at the door, gun readied, pointed at goon number one.

_Perfect motherfucking timing._

"Freeze!" He shouted, distracting both of them.

I threw the book, hitting goon number two right in the face and he put a hand to his nose that was bleeding now.

The Swan wasted no time planting a forward side kick to his chest, throwing him back against the fucking wall and Jake pistol whipped him in the head, knocking him out completely.

_Nice!_

I grabbed goon number one's wrist and twisted, knocking the gun out of his hand and then pulling his hand around behind him and shoved him up against the wall, taking a fist full of hair and banging his face one time really good against the wall to get his fucking attention.

"I only ask the same question once fuck head… you tell me. Who. The fuck. Sent you?" I asked in his ear.

"Fuck you." He said, and I threw him down on the ground, pulled my Colt out, aimed it at his head and cocked it.

"Cullen!" The Swan yelled but I was fucking gone. These dicks were ready to kill us a minute ago, one dead goon wasn't gonna fucking kill anyone.

I laughed at my own joke a little hysterically, and I was pretty sure The Swan thought I'd finally cracked because that's when I heard a click and looked up to see her gun pointed at me.

I cocked an eyebrow because, I was confused.

I couldn't figure out if she was pointing it at me because I was officially going to the Looney bin, or because she was with them?

What was also making my head spin, and my dick twitch, was that, as inappropriate as it may have been, I was completely and utterly turned the fuck on by The Swan holding a gun up to me like that in the blue lace underwear she had on that I had a very, very good view of at the moment.

Jake caught on to my dilemma I think, because he kinda cocked an eye at me and smirked, shaking his head, going back to keeping an eye on goon number two, while picking up the daytimer I'd thrown.

_Don't make me look like an ass Eddy Jr. - I'm fucking warning you._

"Put it down Cullen."

_I'm trying, Swan._

"Swan, what the fuck are you doing?"

"You're not gonna kill that guy."

I relaxed a little and lowered my gun. Hey, at least she wasn't with the bad guys.

Right?

"I wasn't REALLY gonna kill him, Swan. Fuck, ever hear of a little thing called intimidation tactics?" I asked sarcastically.

"You looked like you were gonna kill him."

"Okay, he pissed me off, and I was thinking about it, but come on… they WERE gonna kill us first."

She rolled her eyes and lowered her gun. "You have serious issues. You know that right?"

_Yep._

I laughed and nodded to Jake. "Thanks man. Good timing."

He smiled and said "You got it." Handing me the daytimer. "Bells, you kicked ass, I'm impressed."

"As well you should be." She retorted, then put her attention back on the conscious goon on the floor. "What do we do with him?"

"Hmmm." I thought about that.

"Bells." Jake started, also noticing what she was wearing finally. "What are you wearing?"

She pulled her practically see through cover up a little tighter and Eddy Jr. whined.

I was looking through the daytimer when I asked both of them, "Anything around here to tie them up with?"

_Tuesday… Tuesday… Tuesday… _

I thumbed through the pages, looking for something, anything… and then… "Hmmm."

"What?" The Swan asked, wrapping some yarn she'd found around the goons hands while Jake tied the other guys up. I snickered at them, because that shit was fucking funny, but then I stopped and read the entry I'd found.

"She had an appointment tonight, somewhere called _'Beedee's Essum'_… whatever the fuck that is."

"Beedee's Essum?" Jake chided, "Sounds like an emporium."

I laughed. He was fucking right, it did sound like a god damn emporium.

"Do you know where it is? Let's go." The Swan said, all kinds of riled up and I wished, again, that she had been riled up in _my_ fucking bed, as opposed to a dead woman's bedroom.

_No fucking luck, Cullen… you've just got no god damn luck._

"No idea." I answered her. "Jake?" I was hoping he was willing to help us out just a little longer. "Think you can drop these guys off at Arrow Shipping while Swan and I find this, Beedee's Essum place?"

He clapped his hands together once and said "Abso-fucking-lutely!" Then proceeded to pick the unconscious goon up and over his shoulder in one fell swoop.

_Jesus._

This guy could come in handy, Gargoyle or not.

We helped get goon number one downstairs and into Jake's rental, and I told him where Arrow was located. Then The Swan and I took off in her dilapidated vehicle, hoping it would get us to where we were going… wherever that was.

I made a call to the Jazzman and asked him if he knew of it, which he didn't, but said he'd call me back in a few with some info.

I must have been ogling The Swan out of the corner of my eye, because she said "They're just boobs ya know, Cullen, nothing to get all worked up about."

I cleared my throat and laughed a little. "I know that." Then I thought about it and asked her "Did you wanna… change… or something?"

She adjusted herself for the umpteenth time that night and finally said "Nah… this outfit's kinda easier to work in actually, very freeing, I might just dress like this all the time now." And we both laughed, because we both knew nobody would be getting any work done if she fucking dressed like that all the god damn time.

Jasper called back within fucking minutes.

_God I love that guy._

He gave me the address and I asked him "Are you sure about that Jazz? Doesn't sound right."

"I'm sure dude, my source was adamant."

"Well, did he say what this place was?"

"Nope, just that you're gonna need to know someone who knows someone… ya know?"

"I don't think that'll be a problem." I was anxious to find out what kind of a whole in the fucking wall place this was. "Thanks man, later."

We hung up and I gave the address to The Swan, handing her my phone and said "Google this shit, find out how to get there, I know the general direction but I've never been there personally."

She started typing info into the phone and we were soon on our way to find out what the fuck Lauren had been up to finally during her last few days alive.


	13. Beedee's Essum

**A/N: Chappy song = In the City by Kevin Rudolf**

* * *

**Chapter 12 ~ "Beedee's Essum"**

**CULLEN POV**

There are three things they teach you in the Academy that help you to survive on a day to day basis out in the real world.

Three things that I took with me the day I left.

I could still hear the fucking Sergeant's loud ass voice screaming it at us the very first day, to all us "grunts" as they used to call us.

"One! S_tay god damn focused on the task at hand people! _If there is a shit storm going on around you, but you can focus on the one fucking thing that you need to accomplish, it will get done! You can always fucking count on that!"

I'd looked over to see Em standing on the sidelines, watching us with all the other second year "veterans" that were observing the humiliation that was our introduction to the Academy.

He had his hand over his mouth laughing and I'd mouthed "fuck you" over to him, only to be caught by the Sergeant, who made me to do a hundred fucking push-ups while he continued his speech.

Oh don't worry, he paid dearly for that shit later.

"And when each person on your _team_ focuses on _their _own fucking task, assholes are taken down! Period!"

He kicked my hands further apart as he continued. "Two! _Never. EVER. let them see you sweat!_ Seventy-Five percent of all confrontation is won based solely on god damn body language! You may find yourself fighting a guy five fucking times your size people! However! IF you are confident enough, you WILL kick his ass ten times to Sunday!"

I shit you not. It's been done. By yours truly.

I was at push-up number fifty-nine when I peeked up to see Jess staring at me, smirking and I winked at her, getting caught again, and being made to start over from number one.

Fucking hell is right, that shit was burning.

"And Three! _When the enemy is closing in on you! And you're backed into a corner! FIND YOUR FUCKING PLAN "B" PEOPLE! _Because there may not always be a way out of the shit hole you have found yourself in!"

I had ended up staying late after that speech, the Sergeant screamed in my face some, told me how lucky I was to be a Cullen and that the only reason he didn't kick me out right there and then was because Emmett was my brother.

He was a fucking asshole, but I respected that motherfucker, he taught me a lot of shit.

Back to my point.

These three things were drilled into us during our stint in the Academy, I live by these words, they're a part of me, of who I am. Regardless of the fact that I fucking hate the Academy and what it stands for as a whole, the people that taught me that shit have my utmost respect until the day I die.

Tonight, for the first time that I could remember, I was failing miserably at all three of those lessons. And it was all the god damn Swan's fault.

"Swan." I said to her, watching the building intently as she leaned forward again to peek around the corner we were standing behind, trying to be all fucking stealthy like and shit in her god damn blue lace lingerie that Alice had put on her earlier.

_For the love of fucking god._

"Yeah?" She answered, eying the broken down looking building we were sitting across the street from.

"Could you please stop leaning forward like that?"

"Like what?"

I looked down at her breasts. "Like THAT."

She laughed and rolled her eyes at me. "Seriously, Cullen, are you bothered by my breasts? Do they offend you in some way?"

Was she serious? "No Swan, I'm not offended by your fucking perfect god damn 'please come hither and suck me hard' breasts at all, that's the fucking problem. And get the hell in back of me, will ya? Your ass is just god damn begging for me to slap it."

I shook my head, mostly at myself. I couldn't have been fucking her good by now, three times probably. But no, I fucking followed a god damn phantom to a god damn warehouse and now I'm at a god damn…

_What the fuck was this place anyway?_

"Screw you, Cullen." I stopped thinking about that shit again, when The Swan gave me a dirty look and then glanced back at the skirt that had risen up so fucking high that all you could see was the fish net that peeked out from her fuck me boots, meeting the garter belt hooks leading to her…

_Fuuuu-hu-huuck._

"Where the hell is your gun anyway?" I asked annoyed, curious as to where in the hell in that outfit she could possibly be…

_You are motherfucking kidding me?_

"You mean…" She pulled it out from under her skirt, allowing me to see it had been tucked away into her garter belt, and held it up sarcastically for me to observe that she indeed, had it on her. "This gun?"

I nodded, "Good, then, you just…" I waved a hand as I looked away, attempting to hide the fact that she'd just turned me right the fuck on even more than I thought she possibly could that night.

I heard a soft giggle come from her and that didn't fucking help my situation, forcing me to think about her giggling like that into my god damn ear while we're playing in bed together.

_Focus._

"You sure this is it?" I asked her, refusing to look at her and imagine her practically naked body underneath the flimsy ass piece of fabric covering the lingerie I knew was underneath.

_And I thought the fuck me dress was bad._

"That's the street number." She said, checking the piece of paper from Lauren's daytimer.

The building was nothing special. It looked pretty fucking run down, actually. Windows were broken on the upper floors, boarded up on the bottom, rusty railings, beat up sidewalk, just to name a few things.

Washington DC has loads of seedy parts of town, we were in one of them, and this building was one of the many reasons why that was so. I was pretty sure it harbored crack addicts and street whores.

A big guy dressed in all black, with chains hanging from his belt, and a woman at his side dressed in leather walked passed us on the sidewalk, and up to the front door, then knocked.

A few minutes later someone opened the door and there was chit chat, then they were let in.

"Okay, let's get this show on the fucking road, Swan." I said, walking ahead of her so I wouldn't have to subject myself to her sexy ass strutting.

We walked across the street casually as two people came up on us and I put myself of full fucking alert. As they neared us though, I realized it was just another couple, headed toward the building we needed to get into.

It was two men this time, both in leather pants, one had a slight grip on the other ones arm, like he was leading him, the other wore a spiked collar around his neck.

_What the hell?_

The first guy eyed The Swan up and down, licking his lips, getting ready to say something vulgar to her I'm sure.

"Move along ass-fuck." I said to him, taking my jacket off and putting it around The Swan's shoulders.

_Prick._

He made eye contact with me only for a fucking second before thinking better of his apparent idea to maybe start some shit with me. I really wasn't in the fucking mood to be nice about anything at that point, so his decision was a good one as far as I was god damn concerned.

They went ahead of us and knocked on the door.

"I think I can handle the leather wearing twat all by myself, Cullen."

_Oh no she did not just fucking say leather and twat in the same god damn sentence._

"Where the fuck did you learn that word, Swan?"

"What, leather?" She smirked.

_Smart ass._

"Forget it." I laughed.

When a small man opened the door, I almost laughed. He was wearing red, from like, the fucking fire engine red hair on his head to his red high heeled Nike's. I shit you not my friends. It was disturbing.

The Swan nudged me and I put my serious mask back on as we waited for the two men in front of us to go inside.

"Dante's in the back, waiting for you."

"Thanks Mack."

_Mack? Seriously? What is this, Tommy Two Shoes place?_

Once they were inside, Red turned back to us and eyed me up and down with a scowl on his face. "Who the fuck are you?"

_Here we go._

"We're supposed to meet Lauren here." I said to him, hoping she was known by someone. Anyone inside this joint.

He looked genuinely confused for a few minutes, then asked "Lauren? You mean The Mayor's Lauren?"

_Fuck. And yes._

"That's her." I smiled.

This whole time, The Swan just stood quietly by my side, hoping that was the role she was supposed to be playing. By the look on Red's face when he noticed her finally, it would have appeared that the outfit she'd thrown on at Alice's show was proper attire for this place, whatever it was.

He liked it.

A lot.

Fate is a funny motherfucker, ladies and gentlemen.

I wanted to fucking punch him for eye fucking her like that, but we really needed to get inside this place and find out what the fuck it was, and why Lauren was supposed to be there.

The Swan watched Red as his eyes roamed over her body, but instead of covering herself up like she'd been doing most of the night, she just stood there, confidently, waiting patiently for him to turn his attention back to me.

_Man she's good._

"The Mayor ain't here yet, but you all can go on in." He finally said, opening the door for us to enter.

"Thanks." I said as we passed him. It was god damn dark as fuck and I couldn't see much as we walked down the blackened hallway but what did catch my eye, was the sign just above the door at the end that we were about to walk though.

It was old and wooden, like someone had handmade that shit, and it read: "Beedee's Essum" in cursive across the middle.

Just below it, were the letters B.D.S.M. and a quoted saying just below that.

"_Exclusively servicing your needs since the year 2000"._

_B.D.S.M._

_Oh._

_Shit._

I almost fucking froze right then. I mean shit, I didn't know much about that whole lifestyle, but I knew we had to be in the wrong god damn place.

I looked down to The Swan to see if she'd noticed the same thing but she was looking down at the floor, trying to see where she was going probably.

"Swan, I.."

"Hey!" Red called as my hand reached for the knob.

I swallowed. Wondering if he'd figured us out, or if he'd seen my fucking gun, but also whether there was anyone else around that I'd have to shoot in order for us to get out of there alive.

I turned and nodded. "Yeah?" I asked with an attitude, like he was keeping me from business. Which he was.

"See Rudolf at the bar when you go in, first timers get a special, and I don't mean drinks." He laughed and I chuckled back at him. "Sure thing, thanks Red."

There was just no fucking way I was calling that guy "Mack".

Before I opened the door to enter I looked to The Swan once more, there was no way she'd seen the sign. "Swan…"

She whispered, so only I could hear her. "Open the door, Cullen, before he gets suspicious."

"But I don't think…"

"Jesus Christ." She muttered, annoyed, and then grabbed the door knob and swung it open.

The room we entered into was like a god damn other universe or some shit, because it was nothing that reflected the old deteriorating building on the outside, or the dark hallway that we'd just come down.

It was lit with soft red and blue hues, and deep purple and maroon fabrics. Sofas and large pillows were all there was as far as seating, surrounding a dance floor and bar centered in the room.

Some of the sofa people were fully clothed, some half fucking naked, but the pillows that were on the floor next to them had completely naked women and men kneeling on them. Some had chains around their necks, others just sat quietly, their hands on the knees of the people they were with.

_Well this isn't un-fucking-comfortable at all._

The Swan looked a little weary, but she went with it, knowing we needed some god damn answers.

"What is…?" She pointed to where there were curtains hanging along the outer walls, leading to private rooms it looked like.

"If I had to take a fucking guess, Swan, I'd say those are for guests who want a little more action than just flaunting their bodies around here."

Her eyes shot up a little and she nodded. Looking away, trying not to seem too fucking shocked I guess.

Then there was a hallway off to the side. It honestly looked like the typical person would write it off as an exit hallway, but people were entering and exiting that hallway, which led me to believe a little something else was going on back there.

That's where I wanted to be.

I wondered what the fuck Lauren was doing coming to a place like this, and better yet, how the fucking Mayor came here and it was never in the god damn papers.

As we sat there, attracting attention while we did nothing but fucking stare at shit, I remembered where I was finally, and what I was doing and, fuck, who I was with and what she was fucking wearing and my dick was aching again.

I took a deep breath.

Not that that helped any.

The Swan was un-moving, and clinging to my arm like she was in a haunted house or some shit like that, so I tried to loosen her up a little.

"We better fucking mingle, before someone catches on or something. Let's get a drink." I said to her, leading her to the bar area.

She cleared her throat a little, but couldn't stop starting at the people that surrounded us, her eyes darting from couple to couple… to threesome...

I had to smile as I bent down to ask her "Would you feel better if I put a collar around your neck, Swan?"

"Very fucking funny Cullen." She said as she elbowed me.

I couldn't fucking help myself from laughing at her. I mean, after all, the woman was the fucking sexy as hell when she was pissed at me.

We were definitely gonna stand out here, because everyone in the place was either kissing, being kissed, being rubbed, being STROKED… hell some were even being…

_Fuckin' A._

The Swan sucked in a breath of air when she caught glimpse of the same couple I had that were both pressed into a dark corner, but not dark enough apparently.

I turned her and motioned her to the other side of me so I was blocking THAT view and started to notice people beginning to stare at us. One fairly large dude said something to the people he was sitting with and got up as he eyed me, and started to make his way over to us.

No doubt to question whether or not we actually belonged there or not, and then promptly kick our asses out once he realized we indeed, did not fucking belong there. I mean, shit, it was clear to ME that we didn't belong there, I was sure that to these people, we REALLY looked like we didn't belong there.

I did what I needed to do people.

I fucking kissed her.

Cocking an eyebrow at the prick that was nearing us, I pushed The Swan up against one of the walls we were standing next to, near the corner freaks, and she seemed a little surprised by my actions, asking me "Cullen, what…" But I put my mouth to her's hard, sliding my hand under the see through pull over, groping her tits and that shut her up.

Did I really need to pull the old "boob grope"? Nah. But I'd been dying to do that shit for a while, and this was the perfect setting to do so.

"Mmmm." Was all I got out of her as my other hand slid around her neck, holding her tightly and I forced my tongue past her lips, losing what little control I fucking had at that point.

Eddy Jr. might have also attempted to say hi to her groin area, but I'm not positive, I was lost in her at that point.

I don't think she exactly knew what the hell to do with my forcefulness, so her hands just stayed beside her, although her back arched into me, so I was pretty god damn sure she didn't mind too much.

After a few minutes of molesting The Swan against the club's wall, I pulled back and looked into her eyes and asked "Is he gone?"

She scrunched her eyes a little, confused. "Who?"

"Big Lurch looking guy, leather bound, walking toward us?"

"Oh." She gained a little fucking composure, and peeked with her eyes quickly without turning her head and then back to me as she took a leg and slid it in between mine, rubbing against my fucking cock.

I closed my eyes and scowled at the sudden and forward fucking move she'd just made and groaned "Shit Swan, what the fuck?"

"He's still there. Not coming toward us, but he's watching."

Instinctively, my head started to turn to see exactly where the fuck he was but she grabbed my face in her hand and pulled me back into a kiss.

It didn't take a fucking genius to melt into her fucking lips people, of COURSE I went with that shit.

Okay this time, Eddy Jr. definitely grinded into her. The friction that her leg was causing against my dick was making the purpose of this visit start to evaporate from my mind all to-fucking-gether and I moved my hand from her tits to under her skirt, feeling just how hot and wet she was this time, and rubbing right back.

And shit if her wetness wasn't fucking seeping right through those god damn lace undies.

"Jesus mother fucking Christ…" I rasped against her mouth.

She smiled and then I nearly jumped when I heard someone right beside us asking "You two the newbs?"

I said _nearly _jumped. I didn't actually fucking jump, people.

The Swan stood quietly, watching me, trying to play her role I supposed. Also probably trying to settle the fuck down after my grope fest.

I know I was.

I took on a look of superiority to the guy and said "That would be us."

Pulling my hand out from under her skirt and putting it protectively around her, I tried to make it come off like more of an ownership type thing so he wouldn't get suspicious.

The tall skinny man laughed and said "Yeah, no shit. You guys stick out like a sore thumb around here."

I wasn't sure what the fuck to do in reaction to that shit, punch him, shoot him or run like hell.

"You ready for your free trial?"

_Huh?_

"Um… sure."

_Why not?_

He motioned for us to follow him and we did, down the hallway we'd seen people coming out of and into and I thought, _perfect_, because that was where I wanted to be anyway.

He opened one of the doors that decorated the hallway that I hadn't noticed before, tell me "Enjoy… on the house…" and he smiled as he winked at me.

_Hmmmm._

We stepped into the room and my body went into fucking shock as the door closed shut tight behind us. A clicking sound resonating.

I didn't get a chance to process the door locking because my mind went into over drive, taking in the shit that was in this room. Wall to motherfucking wall of sex toys, my friend. And I'm not talking vibrators and lubricant either. Although those were there too.

I eyed The Swan who was pretty much frozen in place too, and I figured I'd break the ice to try and get her to relax a little.

"Nothing like a little whipping to put me in my place, ey Swan?" I laughed, noting the floggers and whips and chains that were hanging meticulously along the front wall next to another wall that was one big long mirror.

I also took note of the camera up in the corner of the room.

_Fucking Voyeurs._

"Watch what we say in here." I whispered, motioning to the camera when she looked at me in question.

She bit her lip and then smiled and said "I'll do my best. Master." Sarcastically, fingering the fucking feathers laying on a table near her. Which fucking made me wanna throw her up against a wall again, to tell you the god damn truth.

I shook my head and she started walking around, as did I, just to take in all of the shit some of these sick fucks apparently were into.

"This is… people practice this?" She asked. "I always thought this was all just, you know… rumor mill stuff." She was fingering some things on a table over across the room now, looking seriously interested in some of it and seeing her touch some of that shit? Suddenly gave me a problem that had absolutely nothing to fucking do with chasing bad guys.

I walked along the opposite side of the room. "I assume the men behind the camera expect us to… do something in here." I nodded to the camera. "You might wanna act a little more… you know… submissive." I chuckled, knowing that would get her all kinds of fucking riled up.

"Ass." She responded quietly, but she was laughing too.

She picked up some handcuffs and let them hang on her index finger, and asked me "Whatever would you like me to do, _Master?" _all fucking sexy and shit.

_Dude. That was hot as fuck. Her calling me Master. Twice._

"You don't wanna know, Swan." I answered, looking back at more of the toys hanging where I was.

"Wow." I heard her say, I wasn't fucking looking at her though, I was busy facing the opposite direction so that Eddy Jr. wouldn't be so… fucking blatant.

"What's that?" I asked.

"These contraptions are… Oh, shit." I turned to see what she was "oh shitting" about and she'd stepped into a conva-fucking-luded piece of machinery that had stirrups for her feet and fuzzy handcuffs for her wrists against the back of it.

"What the fuck are you doing, Swan?" I asked laughing, putting my hand to my mouth to lamely attempt to cover my mouth and hide the smile.

Okay I wasn't trying that hard.

I mean seriously, she looked fucking hilarious.

"What do you think?" She asked me, all kinds of sexy and shit, putting her hands in the cuffs, playing around, but fuck if that shit didn't give me an idea. Because if I wasn't mistaken, that contraption, if used properly that is, would allow someone full access to some serious pussy licking.

And I was, indeed, owing The Swan one motherfucking excellent pussy licking.

The cuffs locked in place as she played with them and she looked honestly surprised. "Oops."

_Hmmmmm_.

I started to walk over to her, cocking an eyebrow.

And Eddy motherfucking Jr. was all over that shit.

"Can you just…" She pulled at them, thinking they were trick cuffs or something probably, and Eddy Jr. said _Don't even fucking think about it._

"Help me…?" She finished, still tugging at them.

Yeah not gonna happen my friends.

My eyes immediately traveled down her body and she noticed, seeming to read my mind, warning me. "Cullen…" But she really wasn't in any fucking position to warn be about anything, now was she?

"Hmmm." I hummed, crossing my arms and putting my fingers to my chin, thinking.

"I'm serious." She said, tugging at the cuffs still.

"Swan, tell me something." I said, smirking at her, my peripheral vision taking in all of the toys I suddenly started figuring out interesting uses for.

"Cullen, don't you dare even think about…" She said again as I slowly made my way over to her, thinking of the small, and yet, very embarrassing confession she'd made the week before about that certain, non-existent experience of hers.

I ignored her warning, she trailed off anyway, getting caught in my stare and her mouth twisted a little. "Now, if you were me." I continued, picking up a scarf that was laying on the table next to her. "And you were… in the position you're in…" I twisted the scarf around each of my hands, tightening it between them. "What would YOU do?" I finished, now directly in front of her.

"I…" She started, but she didn't really have a fucking answer. She was just stalling.

I leaned in and whispered in her ear "I'm going out on a limb here Swan, but I don't think you're supposed to be talking back to me like that, you know…" I eyed the camera so she'd see what I meant. "In here, I'm your _Master_, remember?" I teased her. "And we wouldn't want to give ourselves away to the little people in the control room watching our charade, now, would we?"

Oh yeah, this shit was gonna happen.

_Hello, opportunity, my old friend._

"Cullen." She said in a whispered tone though her teeth, chest heaving, blush taking over her cheeks.

_That's what I'm talking about._

"What are you…?" She was questioning me, but before she could finish, I put my finger to her mouth. "Shhhhhhhhh." I said. She stared me in the eyes, and I could see the want there, the excited part of her was taking over and I gotta say, I liked it.

A whole fucking lot.

I really didn't give a fuck about the Mayor anymore to tell you the fucking truth.

If he showed up at all, considering Lauren was dead, he'd be there all night, he wasn't going anywhere.

What can I say? When the dick speaks, I fucking listen.

I took the scarf and placed it around her eyes.

"You're so NOT putting that over my…."

"Uh uh Swan… watch that pretty mouth of yours now." I said to her as I continued wrapping it around her eyes. Once it was tied, I kept my hands on the back of her head and pulled her into me so I could kiss her softly on the lips and she reached forward with her head to deepen it, which I fucking did.

I cupped her breast with one hand and squeezed as I thumbed her nipple, feeling how fucking hard her was getting herself over this shit, and she arched into me, while my other hand wrapped around her waist, grabbing at the naked flesh I was dying to fucking lick every god damn inch of.

Not pulling all the way back from our kiss, so the camera couldn't see what I was doing or hear what I was saying, I added "You'll need to tell me now if you don't want this Swan, because I hold no responsibility for my actions once we begin."

She took her bottom lip into her mouth and breathed heavier, then swallowed.

"I'll take that as a fucking go-ahead." I murmured, smiling that she was up for this shit.

Her body was melting, and I could only fucking imagine the wetness forming as I was sitting there contemplating my next god damn move.

It's not like I knew what to do with any of the shit in that room.

But there was one thing that had been on my to-do list ever since the Mayor's congratula-fuckery event the week before anyway. My dick was solid as a god damn boulder straight out of the fucking grand canyon, but I wasn't passing up the opportunity to give her something that no woman should ever have absent in their sex life.

The offensive fucking lace undies were in my way and I wasn't having that shit any longer so I told her, "As much as I like this shit on you, Swan…" I took the back of my hand and grazed her nipples that were protruding out of the fucking non-existent bra and it hardened more as I did, pleasing Eddy Jr. to no fucking end. "I'm gonna need to remove some fucking lace." My hands dawdled down around her shoulders and along her sides, just barely touching her.

Watching her skin react to my fucking touch was like the first time I'd solved a case on my own.

_Fucking bliss._

_Hmmmmm. _

I tucked my thumbs into the hem of her skirt, and glided my hands around to the back, planning to pull them right the fuck off of her, but then found that it had these fucking buttons in the back, and I decided to go another route.

I unbuttoned the top button, leaning in to kiss The Swan's neck lightly and she hissed a little, but mostly, she just breathed heavier. "Mmmmm" I hummed against her warm skin, "You fucking taste delicious Swan." I unbuttoned the next button and sucked a little on her ear lobe.

"Cullen…" She whispered, "That feels…"

"Shhhhhhh." I hushed her into her ear, unbuttoning the last button.

"I just…" She started again as I pulled the skirt away harshly.

"You talk too fucking much, Swan." I told her, cutting her off. "Have I ever told you that?" I continued close to her ear again "You don't want me to have to fucking gag you, do you?"

She swallowed and then her mouth fell open a little as her breathing picked up even more.

"No." Was all she said.

What? I was fucking kidding.

Sorta.

It was the lace undies turn now, and those, I knew I had to be careful with.

I got down on my knees and started to pull at them gently.

Because I fucking knew Alice would kill my ass for ruining a creation of her's, that's fucking why.

Her legs rubbed against each other as I slide the material down and off of her, and I kissed the inside of her thigh through the fishnet, unable to fucking resist the soft milky skin just begging me to… fucking manhandle her.

I left the god damn boots on.

The only piece of material left on her was the damn bra, and I wasn't gonna be able to get that off without ripping it, so I left it, but pulled the material down around her breasts, encompassing them both, so I could suck on each of her nipples, and she arched her god damn back again, driving the hardness of them into my mouth even more.

I fucking had to bite it. I couldn't help myself.

And she liked that shit, because she hissed at me, and that was my motherfucking compass.

My mouth traveled up her chest, to her neck, and then her jaw, landing finally on her mouth because I just couldn't stay the fuck away from that mouth of hers.

God I wanted that mouth on my dick again.

But not now.

This was all The Swan.

I leaned my forehead against hers, noting the struggling she was doing, wanting to use her hands, but she couldn't, and I stepped back a little, taking her in, cuffed to a god damn wall, with practically no fucking clothes on.

No god damn words ladies and gentlemen.

"Jesus." Escaped my mouth.

"Like what you see, _Master?" _She asked me breathlessly, blushing like a motherfucker.

_Fuck yes I fucking like what I see._

Hell I was pretty sure she was self conscious about the fucking camera that was keeping an eye on us, but she certainly wasn't telling me to stop, so god damn, I wasn't stopping.

"You could say that" I answered her, eliciting a small smile from her.

I grazed the back of my hand down her chest, to her stomach, until I reached her abdomen, then I palmed her wetness, and dipped a single finger into her as I kissed her again, trying fucking desperately to keep myself in check as goose bumps started forming on the back of my neck.

"Are you fairly comfortable, Swan?" I asked smiling.

She couldn't talk apparently, because all she could do was nod as her mouth fell slightly ajar.

Dipping a second finger into her, I then asked her "Good memory I'm guessing Swan?"

She nodded again as her head fell back just a little, looking for something to lean against.

"Too bad that's not on the fucking menu tonight." I said seductively, and her mouth turned down a bit, I picture the confused look in her eyes at the news and smirked because let's just face the facts here people, it was all kinds of fucking cute on her.

"Don't you wanna know what the fuck IS on the menu, Swan?" I teased, putting the finger I'd just dipped into her to my mouth, tasting her and closing my eyes."

_Holy sweetness from the nectars of the gods._

"Cullen?" She whispered when I didn't continue.

"Mmm, Swan, do you have any god damn idea how good you taste?"

The blush was back at that, causing the throbbing Eddy Jr. to beg me for just a small sample.

_Later, buddy._

"No, on second thought, the fingers are gonna be needed for this shit." I instructed, taking one of her fish net stocking, fuck me boot wearing legs into my hands just under her knee, bending it, and placing it into one of the stirrup looking devices.

"Shouldn't I kick the boots off?" She asked and I shook my head even though I knew she couldn't see a god damn thing through that scarf around her eyes. "I don't fucking think so, Swan."

She giggled a short laugh at the sound of my tone and I took my hand and roamed her thigh, only letting my fingers barely make contact with the wet lips between her legs.

She was so fucking ready for me. I could hear it in the rapid breathing, the nervous twitching, the movement in her hands, grasping at something to hold on to.

Only she wouldn't be fucking finding anything to hold on to, except for the air around her.

Damn if she didn't look like a god damn goddess standing there like that.

Or rather, like the human fucking sacrifice about to be devoured by that cock-sucker, the Kraken.

"The things I'm about to do to you, Swan." I tsk'd, as she licked her lips. "I don't think Papa Swan would be very fucking appreciative of, do you?" Then I kissed her neck as her breathing picked up even more. Because fuck, I couldn't god damn help myself.

"We'll just keep it our little secret though, how about that?" I whispered.

She didn't answer, the only response I got was her mouth falling open slightly.

I took her other leg the same way as the first, and placed it in the other stirrup, leaving her quite suspended now, and completely fucking open right where I needed her to be.

I started maneuvering myself so I was positioned just right and she asked "Um… Cullen, what are you…?"

I cut her off. "Relax, my little Swan, because after tonight, you won't fucking be able to tell men you've never been pussy licked before."

"_Ohshit_…" was all she was able to choke out. And I barely heard that shit, but laughed anyway.

"Your… mouth is…" She was kinda fucking mumbling, but I was catching on to what the hell she was trying to say… or ask… whichever.

"Better to taste you with, my dear." I said.

As I got completely into place, I began placing soft, wet kisses on the inside of her thigh where the fish net ended, and the garter belt was still intact and she flinched in reaction.

"Nothing to be scared of, Swan, my tongue doesn't have fucking spikes or anything."

She laughed nervously as I continued my ascent up her thighs with my lips, teasing the area just around her exposed pussy.

I could smell her arousal, and I finally understood why people called that shit an "arousal", because it was fucking arousing my ass to the point where I needed to quote fucking baseball stats again just so I wouldn't god damn cum right then and there.

"You're fucking wet as fuck, Swan." I said, taking my finger along her folds as I kissed yet another sensitive area that caused her to shake a little.

"I'm so gonna fuck you good with my tongue." I started, licking up the fold from her entrance, all the way to her clit.

Fuck she tasted good.

She sucked in a deep gasp and I thought I heard her say "Fuck me" but in such a hushed volume I couldn't quite be sure.

But yeah, no problem obliging there.

"Lick you dry as a matter of fact, my friend…" I couldn't see a way around that shit to tell you the truth, because after tasting her, I was just waiting for the frenzy to begin.

"And then if you're up for it," I kissed along the skin, just at the crease where her thigh meets her pussy and she whimpered.

"Eddy Jr. is gonna want a proper fucking introduction as well." I finished, and before she could answer, I flattened my tongue against her wet, wet folds, and licked again.

"Oh my fucking god." She choked out.

_God's got nothing to fucking do with this shit, Swan._

I moved to her clit, swirling my tongue around, lightly it at first, taking my finger into her, then rubbing her own juices around the ball of nerves and she jerked in reaction, but didn't say anything about stopping, so I entered her again, with two fingers this time as I sucked this time on her clit, a little harder than before, showing her the pleasure that bundle of fuckery could give her, if properly goddamn cared for.

And I was planning to fucking care, _immensely_ my friends.

"Holy…" She wasn't really making coherent sentences at that point, just random words every once in a while as I would suck a little harder, dip a little deeper, put my tongue into her fully as my fingers glazed over her back entrance.

"Mmmmmm." I hummed, vibrating against her clit as she sucked in another breath. Her panting was rapid and I decided she needed some word play.

I let my fingers do the fucking walking for a little while as I told her "You see Swan." I said, as they delved into her deeply, curling around where I knew from our last encounter that she fucking loved it.

"Mmmm." She moaned.

"Pussy licking is an art." I sucked on her clit again, then blew cold air onto it and she said "Uh huh."

"Done wrong…" I sucked a little harder, adding another finger into her.

"A woman could get seriously fucking hurt." I pulled my fingers out and the hot liquid ran down the side of my hand as I took all of them and massaged her back entrance, eliciting a deep growl from her and her head turned to the side, burrowing into her shoulder.

I fucking wanted to cum at the sound of that god damn growl.

"But done _properly_…" I crashed my mouth to her folds, jetting my tongue as deep as I could before moving to her clit again, pressing my tongue against it hard as my pinky finger entered her, just slightly.

"Shit." She gasped and I could feel her starting to get there, starting to climb the fucking ladder of success as I sucked harder on her clit and then pushed all three fingers back into her pussy as deep as I could go, feeling her walls start to tighten.

"The orgasm is so intense…" I repeated my actions as before, and she screamed "SHhhhhit!" As she came hard around my hand, I close my eyes tight and furrowed my brow, sucking hard on her clit, and licking the orgasm as it dripped from her.

_Good to the last motherfucking drop._

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She said in breathless heaps, and then little by little, she came down off of the high, as I continued licking her. Little spasms in her body happening every so often.

I kissed her clit and rubbed her legs softly, then let my head fall and just lay there for a minute or two, coming down off of my own motherfucking high, because that shit was fucking phenomenal, hearing The Swan cum was fast becoming my favorite god damn sound of all time.

I got myself up and took one last look at her, all bound and fucking on display, for yours truly, and then asked her "You okay?" untying the scarf and pulling it away from her eyes.

"Yeah." She smiled. "That was… fucking…" I couldn't help but smile, because she was fucking right. It _was_… fucking…"

I kissed her once and bent down to pick up the skirt and undies, helping her step into the lace fuckery and then wrapping the skirt around her waist again. I buttoned it up in the back and she tilted her head in and kissed the little area below my ear while I was doing it.

"Somethin' on your fucking mind, Swan?" I teased.

"Mmmmm. Thank you." She said. "And also… when can you do that again?"

I laughed as I finished the buttons, then put my hands on either side of her face and kissed the living shit out of her. I could get fucking lost for days in her lips people.

I shit you not.

"Cullen." She spoke against my lips.

"Yeah Swan?" I kissed her again.

"The cuffs."

_Woops._

"Right."

I unshackled her and kissed the inside of her wrists, caressing them where they were just a little red from hanging there so fucking long.

I moved my lips up her bare arm and went to kiss her again when she said "Oh and Cullen?"

I just stopped to look at her for whatever it was she was gonna say.

"That camera?" She nodded toward the corner of the room where it resided and I followed her gaze. "It's disconnected." She smirked this time.

I looked at her confused for a minute before it hit me what she was saying.

I looked up at the camera, and sure as shit, the wires were disconnected in the back of it.

I think The Swan just played out a little fantasy with me in the BDSM club.

"Jesus, Swan, I really didn't fucking think it was possible for you to turn me on any more tonight, but damn..." I gave her a smirk. "You're _very_ bad."

She bit her lip and that's when the two of us jerked in surprise at the sound of voices outside of our door.

We looked to each other, trying to decipher if it was anything to worry about. They were mumbled sounds, but I caught the last little bit of someone saying "Just get rid of them." And I immediately went into "oh shit" mode, pulling my Colt out of the back of my jeans.

The Swan only flinched for a fucking second before standing herself in front of the door and I wondered what the fuck she could possibly be thinking before actually catching on.

_Fucking genius. _

I got on the side of the door that would hide me upon its immediate opening, and nodded to her, trying desperately to forget about that fact that she was sexy as hell when she was getting ready to fuck someone up, and we waited.

When the door knob turned and I heard a small click, that's when I realized they'd locked us in that room and I was pretty fucking glad I hadn't realized that shit because then there would have been absolutely no pussy licking going on for The Swan.

The door started to open, and she bent over, so her ass was in the air and pretended to be fucking with her boot and it hit me that she was the girl from behind the curtain earlier that I'd seen Alice fucking with. I'd know that ass anywhere.

I laughed as the door widened and the man stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the same god damn ass I was staring at and I snapped out of my fog, butting him on the back of his head with my Colt before he'd gotten close enough to touch any part of her.

He went down and I checked the hallway while The Swan dragged him fully into the room.

"God damn perfection, Swan." I said to her as I entered the hallway.

"Ya got that right." She said following me.

"I'm guessing the Mayor has fucking arrived." I told her, looking for a back entrance to leave through.

There had to be a back entrance.

_Back entrance._

I had to shake the thoughts of The Swan's back entrance from my fucking head before I got us killed.

"This way." I said as I finally saw what I was looking for. We made our way further down the darkened hallway and as we passed a conference type looking room that seemed to be private, and yet, the door was cracked, I couldn't help but stop and peek in to see if any of our friends were there.

"He's taking care of it, sir." Said a familiar voice.

_Fucking Newton, I knew it!_

"Motherfucker." I said, barely audible, also recognizing another familiar face as I eyeballed the rest of the players in the room.

"What?" The Swan whispered, trying to look over, under and fucking around me.

Backing away slowly from the door I took hold of her hand and pulled her a little further down the hallway. "Go get your truck." I said, a little god damn urgently to tell you the fucking truth, because when fucking Aro god damn Volturi was in on shit, people ended up dead.

Clearly, since there was a path of fucking dead people in our wake as it was.

Jess… okay, _maybe _Jess, but definitely Lauren and now the Mayor's wife. At least I was pretty god damn sure it would all somehow tie the fuck back to this guy. Which explains a whole hell of a lot if you ask me. Lauren must have either caught on to the Mayor's inter-fucking-twinings with Aro, or maybe she was fucking in on it, hell I don't know. It's not like it mattered at this point.

"Cullen, what the hell is going on?"

"Bad guys, Swan… lots and lots of bad guys. I need to fucking think this shit through for a second and quite god damn honestly, I can't do it with you standing there in your fucking underwear."

"Do they have something to do with Jess?"

Every god damn time I heard her name, I'm telling you, I wanted to fucking punch someone.

"Maybe."

"I don't wanna leave you here." She said, worried about me I guess.

"It's gonna be fine, just, get the truck, and I'll meet you right outside that fucking door in about five minutes."

She didn't look like she wanted to do it, but I am one convincing motherfucker, so she ended up doing it after a hard kiss on the lips and me insisting "Trust me, Swan, they won't kill me here."

I said, it, but I didn't fucking believe it. The important thing was that The Swan believed it.

And she did apparently, 'cause she went to get the god damn truck.

Once she was outside the door, and I knew they wouldn't know she was here with me, I took a deep motherfucking breath, and then walked into the conference room.

If looks could kill, I'd have been dead about eight times in those first few seconds I walked in there.

Let's see, Aro, The Mayor, two goons, a Maryland State Trooper and three DCPD, including Newton.

No blonde.

Hmmmm.

I didn't know if I was glad or fucking pissed about that.

I knew it was a fucked move, barging in there like that, and that there was a distinct possibility that I'd actually fucking die there, but I wanted to see their faces.

I wanted to know who was responsible for the shit that went down with Jess, despite the fact that potentially, she was alive.

I still couldn't even think about that shit without getting furious, but it was out there, like a god damn carrot hanging in front of my face, and I needed to find the fuck out what was going on.

"Oh." I said sarcastically, motioning around the room. "This isn't where I can take a piss?"

Ironically, it WAS where I could have taken a piss, because there sure as hell was an awful lotta bullshit floatin' around in that room.

"Cullen, what the fuck are you…"

"Yeah, that guy you just sent to take care of my ass?" I hooked my thumb over my shoulder, pointing with it. "He's passed out in the other room."

A few of them looked at each other, including the Mayor an Aro, and I said "I didn't know you two were fuck buddies." Laughing. "Mayor, did Lauren _know_ you swung both ways? Is that why you got rid of her? So she wouldn't tell anyone?"

I was literally trying to push their buttons, trying to get them to spill something out of anger, but they were better at that shit than I gave them credit for.

The Mayor just smiled and said "Always the joker, Cullen, I'm sure you don't know what you're talking about."

"Really Mayor?" I asked him, trying not get fucking hysterical, and noticing Newton moving around a bit, which made me fucking nervous, but I was still right inside the door, and no one was behind me. "Because that's not what she told me the night before she died."

I was bluffing.

But hell, they didn't know that.

"When did you...?" He started to ask me something, but Aro put his arm on the Mayor's shoulder, silently telling him to shut the fuck up.

I looked at Aro, trying to read him, but there was nothin'.

"When did I what, Mayor? Know you killed Lauren? Or know that you set your wife up to look like she killed Lauren, and then had her killed too?"

This comment elicited another look between Aro and The Mayor, but this time, Aro nodded to his men, which I took to mean 'get this filthy piece of scum out of my conference room' because that's when Newton pulled out his big boy attitude with me and went to grab my arm.

"Should have fucking known you had something to do with this shit, Newton. Being a good cop just too much god damn work for you?"

He narrowed his eyes and said "Fuck you Cullen, and your brother next." He was right next to me now, and raised his hand to reach for me but, fuck, I might have let him get away with making that fucked up comment to me, but don't god damn drag Em into this shit.

I took the first chance I had to slam the god damn door on his arm and he fell over, holding his wrist while I took that opportunity to get the fuck outta dodge.

"I'm guessing we'll discuss this shit another time then gentlemen…" I nodded as two more dick-holes got up from the table to come at me. I left and yeah, ran my ass off down the hallway, and out the door marked 'exit' as I heard people scrambling in the room behind me.

"He can't prove anything!" I heard Aro shout.

"Smart ass, runs his GOD DAMN mouth too much that one!" The Mayor screamed.

I didn't hear much else because outside, The Swan was waiting and the door slammed hard behind me, cutting all noise from inside off and we were gone before anyone made it out behind us.

"Fuck" I finally breathed out, watching the building get further and further away from us as she drove off. A few of the suits from the conference room ran out of the building but by then we were already far enough down the road that they wouldn't know which car I'd gotten into.

"You okay? What the hell happened?" She was asking me urgently.

"That was NOT an example of my best fucking decision making." I said, turning around to watch the road in front of us, raking my hand through my hair.

"Okay, well, where are we going?"

_Good god damn question._

I thought about it. I didn't know if the Mayor knew where I lived, but he could find out easy enough. I didn't even know how seriously I should consider the fact that he could quite literally have me killed at this point.

I mean, shit, he hadn't hesitated to have Lauren taken out, right? Or his own fucking wife for that matter.

But I did have everything I needed at home.

_Shit. Office… or home…office… or…_

I looked over at The Swan, driving along, giving me crazy ass looks like "hello, give me a god damn answer before I punch you in the fucking face" and that made up my mind for me.

"My place." I blurted it, like in, my fucking mouth said it without my god damn permission. Which pissed me off to no fucking end.

This was not a good idea, I knew that. I mean, I just don't fucking take women to my place. Ever.

But this was work, and I could fucking control myself for one god damn night.

Right?

Yeah, I'm not buying it either.

"Okay…" she said, waiting.

"Oh… right…" I realized she didn't know where the fuck 'home' was for me, and then realized, I didn't have my fucking car, so I said "let's go back to the show, and you can follow me."

It had been a long, motherfucking night, is all I'm sayin'. I didn't know if I had it in me to get shit done, but it needed to get done, there really wasn't an option. I was _THIS _motherfucking close to figuring out what had happened with Jess. I could feel it, I wasn't stopping now.

"You really need to turn this piece of shit in and get something a little more…"

I was looking for the right word when she cut me off and said "Cullen, if you refer to my baby as a piece of shit one more time, I will end you, do you understand me?"

The truck sputtered and I really didn't think it necessary to retort back at that.

That fucking truck was gonna hurt itself one day.

After a few minutes of awkward fucking silence, and me thinking about how long ago eating The Swan out felt like, she said "So, tell me about Jess."

Do people NOT understand that I don't like fucking talking about her?

"What the fuck do you mean, Swan? She'd dead." _I think. _"What's there to talk about?" I asked her, watching the road intensely.

"It's obviously affected you, Cullen, don't you ever want to just… talk about it?"

_Fuck no._

I breathed in, and let out a long, slow sigh and then asked her "You and Jake are… close, right?"

She scrunched her eyes together. "Yeah, what does that…"

"How close?"

She wanted to steer me back to Jess, but she answered me anyway. "He's a pain in my ass, but I don't know what my life would have been like with… out… him."

She stopped for a minute and then said "Oh." Sadly.

"And tell me, are there any fucking words that you can think of that would tell someone how that shit would make you feel, Swan?" I asked, looking out of my passenger's side window, thinking about that last night I'd seen Jess again.

_Please come with me, Edward._

_Please._

Why didn't I just fucking go?

Would it have really fucking killed me to go?

FUCK.

I banged my fist against the window and then felt The Swan's hand on my shoulder. I turned to her, scowling my ass off.

IF anyone else had touched me like that, trying to fucking pity me, I'd have fucking decked them in a heartbeat. But the look on her face when I made eye contact, it threw me off.

It was… something else entirely.

"I'm really sorry, Cullen."

She squeezed a little and I nodded. It's about all I could fucking manage, because seriously? What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

Fucking sue me.

We were back at the show before long and I hopped into the Vanquish and to be quite god damn honest with you, I was glad to get out of the 'let's fix Fucking Edward' atmosphere of The Swan's truck.

I cranked the music and tried not to think about Jess on the way to the apartment.

Tried not to let myself go down the road of the possibility that she was alive, which meant she was part of something that I was completely, and one hundred motherfucking percent sure was a serious corruption in the DCPD.

Nope, not goin' there.

She wouldn't do that.

I don't think.

Mother of fuck I needed to figure that shit out.

By the time I'd arrived at my apartment, I'd managed to sift through several conspiracy theories, including one where the Volturi's somehow black mailed her into faking her own death and working against me.

But why the fuck would they care about me? Especially back then. I was a nobody, hadn't even graduated from the Academy yet.

I got out of the car still thinking it over when Pup ran up to me.

"Hey buddy." I said, bending down to scratch him.

"Cute." The Swan said. "He's yours?" She asked, nodded at him.

I stood up and gave her a weird look and laughed. "No." I said, walking up the stairs as he followed me, wagging his tail.

"He sure thinks he's yours." She said, trying not to smile.

I looked at Pup, who seemed heartbroken that I'd denied him to the woman, and winked at him.

The Swan just laughed.

Then she scrunched her eyebrows at me once we got to the top of the stairs when I checked my points of contact.

"What?"

She shook her head at me as I unlocked the front door and I felt a disturbance in the force as she stepped over threshold.

_Talk about un-chartered motherfucking territory. _

While The Swan was busy looking around in awe of my decorating abilities, I dropped the keys and my bag by the door and went to go check messages and shit, then remembered it's fucking rude to not offer company something.

Gimme a break. It's not like I fucking have company often.

"Want somethin' to drink? I got water and Tequila."

She laughed. "Patron no doubt."

Ya got that right.

She thought about it for a minute and then said "I'll take the tequila."

I went to the kitchen to get shot glasses and oh yeah, food and water for Pup. I got it all piled up and shit and turned to go back into the living room.

That's when I dropped the shot glasses.

And the dog food.

Because The fucking Swan had snuck into my kitchen all stealthy like and shit, and was standing there staring at me.

With nothing but the fucking lingerie on.

Pup could fend for himself. I mean, he's a fucking dog for christ's sake.

Right?

My eyebrow cocked instinctively. And so did my dick.

She was all shy and shit looking on one hand, the blush had returned to her cheeks, and her feet were kinda curling at the toes, like she was nervous and shit.

But on the other hand… totally fucking hot.

"What… umm." My mouth clearly wasn't working right at the moment, but it didn't have to, because the Swan spoke for me.

"I think you owe me a certain…" her gaze averted to my fucking groin area and then back up to my eyes. "Introduction? Cullen?"

She strode over to me and my mind was doing calculations. I mean, this shit was un-motherfucking-founded. I didn't have women here for a reason.

That reason being…

Shit I couldn't remember that reason all of a sudden.

And really didn't give a rat's ass.

When she was close enough, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me. A sudden gasp of air escaping her mouth.

"I think it's high fucking time we get you out of that lace all together, Swan."

_Case? What case?_

She bit her fucking lip and I stared at It for just a second before putting my lips on hers, while my hands encased her body tightly so she wouldn't be fucking going anywhere.

She moved her hands up my stomach, to my chest and then around my neck, to fist the hair there and god damn if that shit didn't turn me on again.

I was making estimates on how fucking long it would take to get her back to the bedroom when I decided, screw that, there's a perfectly good god damn hard surface right there in the kitchen.

I moved my hands to her ass and lifted her up, awarding me with two beautifully fucking constructed legs wrapping tightly around my waist, and put her on the small kitchen table, knocking over every god damn piece of furniture over that was in the way to my desti-fucking-nation.

She giggled a little, heaving her chest into mine while we continued our kiss and her tongue found it's way directly into contact with mine.

Cause I don't fucking fight the tongue people… it's just not done.

"MMmmmph." I groaned, thinking fuck me, how was I gonna get those god damn pants off of myself fast enough, when I realized, she must have been thinking the same fucking thing, because her hands moved from my hair to my pants in like, a god damn millisecond and started undoing me.

Fucking literally, my friend.

"These…. Off." She demanded in between heaves. And I complied, kicking my shoes off and thrusting the pants down around my ankles, stepping out of them faster that a god damn donkey shits after eating one too many aloe plants.

Eddy Jr. was a happy motherfucker, needless to say.

I didn't have time to move to the shirt, she'd already had that fucker off before I had time to analyze the fact that fucking on the kitchen table probably wasn't the most comfortable place to be doing this shit. But hell, it was close, and time was of the god damn essence.

The lingerie just wasn't gonna fucking make it through this encounter, I was sad to say, it just wasn't in the fucking cards, my friends.

_Sorry Alice._

I ripped that god damn bra off of her like it was a disease and the look on The Swans face was nothing but animalistic, much like the one I'm sure I was wearing. The undies were pretty much toast while I pulled them off of her too, devouring her mouth in the process. The sweet motherfucking aroma of her juices wafted as I threw them who the fuck knows where and I wanted to eat her out again right there, but there was time for that shit later.

The garter stayed.

That shit was sexy.

So there we were, undone and ready, and when I looked at her, and those big fucking chocolate brown eyes of hers looked back at me, Eddy Jr. tapped me on the fucking stomach saying "hellloooooo."

I snapped out of the daze and went to her.

I put hands on either side of her head and kissed her, leaning in so Eddy Jr. could get a proper fucking introduction and grinded him up against her wetness, feeling the heat already, and I decided I could have fucking died right then, and been one happy son of a bitch.

"Shit, Swan." I moaned. "I don't know how fucking long I'll last with you being that fucking wet."

She was breathing pretty fucking heavy when she said "Well… there's always round two." Cocking an eyebrow at me and reaching for my dick with her tiny little… soft, fabulous, highly talented fucking hands.

_That is seriously my kinda girl._

"Well in that case…" I started, pushing my dick up against her harder, kissing… harder...

She took Eddy jr. expertly and lined him up at her open, wet pussy.

_Gentlemen! Start your engines!_

She stroked him a few times for good… measure.

You know that pun was fucking intended by now, right?

I could feel my dick growing by the second, hardening against her palm more than I thought possible... almost to the fucking point of pain, when she finally pulled me in a little and I entered the sweet motherfucking cocoon of the Swan's heat.

"Fucking hell on a pogo stick, Swan." I said, unable to fucking move at that point. We were mere inches from each others lips, I could feel the blood pumping in my chest. "You've been holding out on my ass."

She smirked at me and whispered a little breathlessly, "Good things come to those who wait, Cullen."

_Fuck the table, this shit deserves a wall.  
_  
I kissed her, and was about to pick her ass up and shove her up against the kitchen wall to play out that fucking fantasy when she pushed off of the table, wrapping her legs around me again, and inadvertently shoving her pussy onto my dick with the G-force of a god damn space shuttle.

"Holy fucking Christ, Swan, are you trying to break my dick?" I asked her, a little scared I may have been too late already.

She laughed, putting her hand to her mouth, but staying wrapped around me.

"I'm sorry! Are you okay?"

I had to fucking laugh too, "I mean, Jesus, Eddy Jr.'s excited to see you too but he's not fucking punching you in the face, what are we, twelve?"

We were both chuckling and she put her head in my shoulder , trying to hide that fucking blush from me, no doubt.

"I'm taking you to the couch, Swan, after re-thinking this shit, I've decided no hard surfaces for your ass."

My dick was in her, her head in my shoulder, laughing her ass off now, and I had to figure out a way to get her to the god damn couch without permanently damaging either one of us.

That shit's not easy, ladies and gentlemen.

I managed, for the most part anyway, I was almost there when I tripped over one of her fuck me boots that she'd left in the middle of the god damn floor.

We landed on the couch, her on the bottom, me on top, and Eddy Jr. still nestled deep inside her, thank fucking god because if he hadn't been, I'm pretty sure the evening would have ended with a god damn trip to the hospital instead of someone reaching orgasm a few fucking times.

"Mother of hell, Swan, you live like a slob at home too? Or is it just my apartment?" I asked her, laughing my own ass off at that point too.

She was giggling, and the vibrations and constrictions it was causing on my dick was just making me wanna fucking pound her all the more, but as she was looking at me with that big ass smile on her face, I just had to stop for a minute, and bask in the realization that I was pretty fucking sure she was the most god damn beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my whole fucking life.

My laughing slowed, and I raked my hands through her silky fucking strands of dark brown lavender mother fucking smelling hair, watching my fingers while I did it because, shit, I didn't wanna think about what I might have said if I kept looking into her eyes like that.

"Cullen?" She was curious about the sudden silence I'm sure, as I was trying to avert my eyes.

I looked down at her and decided to go with my best course of action in awkward fucking moments like that.

I kissed her.

And as I did it, I began moving in and out of her, trying not to think about the sparks of electricity flowing through my fucking veins, or the goose bumps forming all over my god damn body, or the little whimpers of pleasure emitting from The Swan's mouth into mine.

I furrowed my brow, eyes closed, as she tilted her head slightly so our kiss would deepen.

And it fucking did.

I don't know how fucking far my tongue was trying to travel into her mouth exactly, hell maybe it was trying to drop by and say hi to Eddy fucking Jr., I don't know, but I couldn't stop myself. I just hoped I didn't god damn gag her or something.

She bucked her hips and I backed up, pulling her so her ass was just off the side of the couch and put her ankles over my shoulders so I could delve just… a little… fucking…

_YES._

"Fuck, Swan." I murmured it as I pulled out and pushed in again, slow, yet, in-fucking-tense as shit. I mean hell, every time I entered into her, something in the pit of my belly quivered.

She took my god damn breath away.

"I know, Cullen." Was all she said, but I knew what she was fucking saying.

"Is this okay?" I pushed deeper, tilting her hips so I could hit the right spot.

"It's… perf….fuck!" She moaned, closing her eyes, and yeah, I pretty much knew

"If you keep talking like that Swan…" I moved into her again and leaned down to kiss those fuck perfect lips of hers. "I'm gonna cum a little too fucking early for my taste."

"Jesus, Cullen… mmphh…" She said in between thrusts. "First I'm too wet…" I kissed her neck and she hissed. "…now I'm talking too dirty for you…" I licked her ear.

Because it was fucking lickable, that's fucking why.

"… I thought you were fucking Batman or something, not…"

I cut her off "If you fucking say the Joker I will spank your ass right…" I pushed into her again, starting to feel the beginnings of a deep dark seeded orgasm, that was threatening to flood the apartment and possibly ruin my furniture. "Now…"

"Actually… OH…" I caught her off guard by reaching down in between us, dipping a finger into her slick juices and then rubbing her clit some.

"You were saying, Swan?"

"Fuck." She moaned. "I was gonna say The Penguin." She finished.

She giggled, so I knew she was fucking kidding, but that shit pissed me off anyway and I moved a little harder, and a little faster with the clit tickling.

"Shit, C…. Cullen… oh my… fuck…" She threw her head back and I was holding on by a thin god damn wire at that point, begging her to fucking come for me.

"Come, anytime you fucking feel the need Swan… just come."

"Oh… god…" She thrust her head to the side and kinda did this whisper scream thing, it was more like a cry, but I distinctly fucking heard it, no matter what the pretense. "Edward!"

I have to say right here and fucking now. That I wasn't at all fucking prepared for the way my body would react to hearing her say my name like that.

"Shit." I blurted out, coming into her as she writhed and rolled and grinded herself into me.

I bent down and kissed her hard on the mouth, letting my tongue force its way in to wrestle with hers. I let her feet back down and wrapped my arms around her, just wanting to feel her body up against mine, as close as I could fucking get her.

We both lay there for a minute or so, breathing heavy and shit, and I finally pulled up off of her just a little, not a lot mind you, and put my forehead against hers, smiling my ass off.

"You, are fucking…" I closed my eyes. "Per-god-damn-mother-fucking-fection, Swan."

She puckered her lips and kissed me softly on my own, and then said "You're not so bad yourself, Cullen."

"Say it again." I told her in her ear, kissing her just below the lobe.

"You're not so…" she started, and I laughed. "Jesus, Swan… not that…" I shook my head. "The other thing."

She seemed confused. Did she not even fucking realize she'd said it? I pulled back and looked into her eyes. "My fucking name, Swan. Say it."

She bit her lip, embarrassed a little maybe. Shit, maybe she really hadn't realized she'd fucking said it. It didn't really matter to me.

"Say it." I kissed her. "Please."

"Edward." She whispered, and I kissed her again. Still inside of her, Eddy Jr. was hardening again.

I mean that shit was… seriously making me fucking hormonal or something. It wasn't like the sound of any other woman saying my name that I could remember in the history of what was my god damn sex life.

_It was bliss._

I don't know why I was being so god damn emotional and shit… it was just, with the look in her eyes, combined with the fucking things she was saying, and at the feel of the heat, and the fucking friction, and shit I don't know what else. But it was like… that piece of a puzzle you'd been fucking looking for, you know? The one that fucking falls on the floor, under the rug, and you're looking for it and fucking looking for it, but then you've pretty much gotten to the point where you're saying to yourself "Screw it, I don't need that fucking piece anyway, the puzzle's fine without it if I scrunch my eyes and look at it long enough" then one day, out of the motherfucking blue, you step on something and realize, shit, there's the fucking piece, and you're like "holy motherfucking shit on a god damn stick… I had no idea how perfect the puzzle would be with that fucking piece there"…

She was my god damn puzzle piece.

Go fucking figure.

She was pushing her fingers through sweat in my hair, smiling and staring at my head.

_Been there, done that, Swan._

"I think we should take round two to the bedroom Swan, what do you think?"

She smiled wider and said "Well, you're gonna have to think of a way to earn round two I'm afraid, Cullen." then she pushed me off of her with all her might and made her way down the hall to my bedroom as I sat there, like an ass, stunned by her blazeness.

I sat there like that for a minute, dumb-fucking-founded, looking around the apartment, taking in the absolute fucking mess we'd made, thinking about how long it was gonna fucking taking to clean that shit up.

_Screw it Cullen..._

I got up and locked the door up tight, wondering for a split second what exactly would be in store for me after my very blatant confrontation with Aro and the Mayor earlier, but figured, what the fuck, if you're gonna go down, go down swingin', right?

I walked back to the bedroom smiling, knowing there was just no way I'd be getting any god damn sleep.

And I was fucking okay with that.


	14. Basking in the Fucking Afterglow

**A/N: Chappy song = Feelin' Good by MUSE**

* * *

**Chapter 13 – "Basking in the Fucking Afterglow"**

**CULLEN POV**

I rolled out of bed needing to piss badly.

I mean, fucking badly.

My dick ached, my legs ached, my fucking back ached. Hell, even my god damn toes ached.

Don't ask.

I smiled the whole way to the god damn bathroom though, thinking about The Swan and how she'd done shit to my body that hadn't been done in…

Hell I didn't remember an instance that even came close to the fucking experience I'd just had with her.

_Huh._

I just couldn't fucking get enough of her.

Or visa fucking versa, I might add.

After a well deserved piss, I realized it was cold as fuck in my apartment, so I cranked the heat a little as I made my way back down the hall.

When I walked back into the bedroom, I had to cover my mouth to keep from fucking laughing my ass off at the sight lying before me in my bed.

I leaned my shoulder up against the door frame, and decided to simply take her in for a fucking minute before disrupting her sleep.

The Swan was laying face down, head half way under the pillow, drool was pooling on my sheets underneath her wide open mouth, her hair was knotted all around her face, and she was snoring like a motherfucker.

It was seriously the hottest fucking thing ever.

Eddy Jr. agreed.

I should've let her sleep, right?

I mean, we did stay up pretty much all god damn night fucking each other's limbs loose.

But I couldn't do it, the opportunity was just too good to fucking pass up. So, I did what any hot blooded man would do who was sporting a hard on for the object of his affection who was sprawled out on his bed like that.

Okay not _every _man, just me.

I jumped onto the bed, on top of her, scaring the fuck out of her sexy ass.

"JESUS Cullen!" She screamed, waking up from her sex induced coma, wiping her mouth in a not so very covert way.

I laughed . "Did you know you snore, Swan?"

I was bent at the knees in order to pin her to the bed, pushing the fuckery that was her hair out of the way, kissing her neck on the very back where her hair meets the nape, watching goose bumps begin to form on her back.

I fucking love it when that shit happens.

"I do not." She mumbled, lifting her head up and plopping it back down properly on the pillow.

I leaned in further to talk sexy shit into her in her ear while my hands extended themselves up her arms, stopping at her hands, pulling them well above her head. "Oh, but you do, Swan, I have it recorded, and plan to send a copy of the tape to America's funniest fucking videos so I can collect my ten motherfucking thousand dollars because that shit was hilarious."

I kissed her behind said ear and I think she must have felt my dick hardening because a small groan escaped her throat and her ass arched ever so fucking slightly, to meet him with a warm fucking welcome.

"If you do, I get half of that ten thousand dollars." She giggled as I started moving my kisses along her neck again. She whimpered a little and tilted her head, liking that shit, and I moved down along her shoulder, to her back, following her spine down, until I met her ass cheeks with two soft pecks and trailed my hand along the same path, continuing around to her fucking wet… as a motherfucker… pussy.

"You still owe me ten thousand for those photos you ruined, Swan, I don't think you'll be seeing any of that prize money."

"Mmmmmm." She moaned as I dipped a couple of fingers into her to get them nice and wet, before rubbing her back entrance a little, holding her waist with my other hand for leverage.

"You broke my truck, and therefore you still owe me half of the ten grand I'm afraid." She said, rolling over to grab my dick in her warm, capable god damn hands.

I pulled away from her though, dipping my face down into her hot folds while I pinched both of her nipples in between my index finger and thumb of my hands

"I have…" I licked a long, hard stroke. "…absolutely…" I blew on her clit. "…no idea what you're talking about Swan." Then sucked again and she whispered "Fuck."

"Plannin' on it, Swan. Plannin' on it." I told her, before pulling a hand down and dipping my fingers into her pussy.

She bucked and started breathing heavier as I got her nice and ready for a friendly neighborhood morning orgasm.

Thoroughly fucking making out with said pussy by the way? Fucking phenomenal.

Seriously, I could do that shit all damn day long.

There was a loud, yet muffled buzzing sound coming from the other room that I was officially deeming the most annoying sound in the whole god damn world and I told her "You're not getting that." To which she asked a little breathlessly, "Getting what?"

I laughed a little, smiling my ass off at her agreement.

She was god damn priceless.

"Cullen…" she spoke softly, barely fucking audible, and I stopped with the pussy licking and cut her off.

"Swan." I kissed the inside of her thigh and nibbled it a little. "When you're in my bed, looking as sexy as you do right now…" I kissed her belly. "The only thing you're allowed to fucking call me is Edward, got it?"

I looked up to see her silently nodding in agreement and decided her nipples needed additional attention, so I leaned up and sucked on one before blowing on it and then reminded her, "There's no Cullen in this bedroom."

"Shit…" She whispered while I sucked on the other nipple, massaging the one I'd just said hello to.

"_Edward_." She said with the sexiest voice I'd ever en-fucking-countered, causing Eddy Jr. to twitch a whole hell of a lot.

I think she fucking liked saying it just as much as I liked hearing it, and the thought of that shit was making my dick unbearably fucking hard, so I went back to sucking the swollen clit nestled in her folds again, wanting desperately to hear her cum, and see her face while she did it.

"God." She said, and I told her "Edward will do, Swan, no need to put me on a fucking pedestal."

She smiled and her stomach vibrated with the silent laughter she was suffering from.

"You are such… an ass… MMM!" She said, but then I picked up my pace, sucking harder and curling my fingers into her, hitting her g-spot consistently, making her lose her breath and suddenly, absolutely no motherfucking sound was coming out of her mouth.

Buzzing sounded from the other room again and I was getting annoyed with that shit.

I momen-fucking-tarily stopped sucking to tell her "I may have to destroy your fucking cell phone, Swan, if it makes that fucking sound one more time."

"Don't stop." She pleaded and I fucking loved hearing her beg, so I asked her, "Don't stop what, Swan?" I pushed my fingers deeper and she gasped as I watched her throw her head back. "This?"

"YES." She said a little louder, nodding hard.

I pulled my fingers out and rubbed her back entrance and her eyebrows furrowed. "This?" I asked and she bit her lip, nodding slower.

I let my index finger dip into her and asked again, "This, Swan?"

"MMmmmm HMM!" She choked out, breathing heavier.

I left my finger to work her a little as I licked her folds again, and thrust my tongue into her pussy, then sucked on her clit again, forcing her to cum before she'd expected it.

"Oh… G… Edward." She moaned out, cumming hard as I drank her up, getting off on the sounds she was making. Fuck I think I hummed myself against her as I did it.

When she was done coming off of her high, I ran my hand up her thigh, and kissed the inside of it, working my way to her stomach and each side of it, making her squirm from the tickle she felt.

"Don't start, Cullen." She warned.

"Who?" I asked, placing my hand on her side, getting ready to make her pay if she failed to fucking answer me correctly.

She arched sideways a little. "Edward." She breathed. "Don't start… _Edward_."

Now normally, I'd take that shit as a challenge, but I was so fucking not in the mood and would much rather make her squirm in other ways, if ya know what I mean.

My hand continued up her body, past her navel, finding the little valley between her breasts that were just begging me for some lovin', and I cupped one of them, squeezed a little, pinching the nipple that was hard.

She opened her eyes then, and looked at me, biting her fucking bottom lip, and I got caught in her gaze that pulled me into her kiss like that tractor beam from the Death Star that caught Luke Skywalker and Han Solo when they were off trying to save god damn Princess Leah.

I fucking devoured her lips. They were so soft, and tasted so good, I just couldn't fucking stop myself.

How the hell did she manage to come off so innocent as hell, and yet so god damn sexy at the same time?

She reached in between us and stroked my dick, whispering against my lips in between breaths, "I want you, Edward, inside of me. Now. _Please_."

Not that I would even consider saying fucking no to her, but seriously, when she put it like that, how could anyone deny the woman?

"Inside of you is where I'll be then, Swan." I answered, kissing her hard and sliding my dick into her once again, welcoming the warm, wetness waiting for me as I did.

And once again, a sonic boom jolted its way though me.

There was a fucking power driven stimulation between us I couldn't explain and quite god damn frankly, I didn't know if I wanted to.

I mean Jesus, you'd think I'd get fucking used to that feeling, but every god damn time, it caused motherfucking goose bumps, which made everything that much more intense as I moved in and out of her.

Then something entered my thoughts, and fuck if I know why, the inner workings of my head are a mystery even to me.

"Shit." I said, thinking I'd only said it inside my own mind.

"What's wrong?" She asked, scraping her fucking turn on nails down my back as I pumped into her over and over.

"Just… fucking… realized." I said, never slowing, mind you. "Are you okay without a fucking condom?"

I mean shit, with all the fucking we'd done, I figured, _too late by now_, but I needed to throw that shit out there anyway.

She smiled up at me, wrapping her legs around my waist, pulling me deeper into her, unwilling to let me stop, incase that was my fucking intension I guess.

_Not fucking likely._

"More than okay, Cullen… I've been on the pill since I was twenty."

I laughed "Shit, Swan… Should I worry about that?" I asked, kissing her neck hard. "I mean is there a…" I pushed into her hard. "List of guys I need to… MMMph!" I closed my eyes as the friction made me start feeling a little out of fucking control. "Beat the shit out of or something?"

I'd fucking do it, too.

"Oh…" She whimpered while I wrapped my hands under her ass cheek to tilt her up for better and deeper access. "You have serious… violent tendencies." She whispered, kissing my neck and then biting me.

"Ow!" I laughed. "Just checkin'." I kept her mouth busy so she wouldn't bite me again, and threw my tongue into her mouth, tasting more of her, consuming more of her, while my brought both of my hands up and held each side of her face while her hands fisted my sides.

Yeah, part of me might have felt some pain from her nails digging into me, but honestly? I didn't give a fuck. I'd endured worse pain that the perfectness of The Swan, trust me.

"Mmm!" I groaned into her mouth, feeling orgasm number who knows what beginning to form, and she held tighter, rolling her hips into me, wanting more, wanting what I did.

To feel as much as possible, which somehow seemed im-fucking-possible to me.

"Shit!" I pulled away from our kiss finally, pushing harder, deeper, faster.

"UH!" She yelled "Edward! I'm gonna…"

"Say it, Swan… fuck. Say it."

"Cuuuuuuum!" She let it out like a breath of air, and I was there, done, finished, exhausted. "Mother… fuck!" I moaned out, pushing one last hard time and just staying there, not wanting that shit to end.

She held onto me tightly until her legs stopped shaking and then her fingers trailed up and down my back for a minute as we both practiced healthy fucking breathing, and my head stopped spinning finally, long enough for me to lay down next to her, letting my hand fall over her stomach as I reached over and kissed her fucking perfect god damn shoulder.

I let my lips linger there for a minute, hoping she'd understand the fucking meaning of that kiss.

Not that I understood it myself or anything.

Rolling over onto my back, I threw my arm over my face. "Fuck me ten ways to Sunday on a god damn whipping bench, Swan…" I started the sentence, not knowing where the hell it was going, or what it was I wanted to say, and she laughed.

"Where do you come up with this stuff, Cullen?"

"No idea Swan. You apparently pull words out of me I didn't know were there."

She giggled and teased me. "I bet you say that to all the girls you bring here."

"Well, that's actually true." I admitted, smiling.

Silence.

I lifted my head and looked over at her to see if she'd fallen asleep or something, but she was just staring at me, her eyebrows creased, and her mouth slightly open.

You really had to laugh at her, I mean, when she's pissed… "Swan, relax, I just meant that you're the first woman I've ever brought here."

Deeper crease in the eyebrows, further gaping of the mouth, more laughter from yours truly.

"You've never… brought a woman here?"

"Why should I?" I asked through the laughter.

"Well, why'd you bring me here then?"

_Good question._

_I wanted her here._

_But why?_

I shrugged and lay my head back down, looking up at the ceiling. "We had shit to do, Swan, and it wasn't like I was planning on anything happening until you fucking molested my ass in the kitchen."

Now she sat up, pulling the sheets around her and I looked at her like she was crazy. I mean was she seriously covering herself up from the man that had just seen every inch of her sexy fucking body over the previous twelve hours?

"I… did NOT molest you, Cullen." She started, but she knew I was right. I mean, who tip toed into my kitchen with practically nothing on?

Right?

I laughed and was about to open my mouth and ask her that exact question before shutting her up with more kissing and molesting, when there was a loud knock at the door.

And if it was fucking Seth, I was firing his ass.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked nobody, staying put.

"Aren't you gonna…" She started.

"I'm not fucking answering that, whoever it is has no god damn business being here and if it's anyone I know, I'd kill 'em for knocking this early anyway." I decided.

"You should get it." She said. "It could be important."

"If it's important…" I started. "They'll come back later."

She laughed. "I have to get up anyway, want me to get it?"

"Swan, you have no clothes on, and the flimsy ass pieces of fabrics you previously called clothes that you brought with you are destroyed."

She hopped out of bed then and reached into my fucking closet without permission, pulling a shirt off its hangar and swinging it around her, buttoning it before I could even fucking tell her to stay out of my things.

I changed my mind anyway when I saw her in my fucking shirt, and wanted to clock the door knocker even more so, because The Swan in one of my button downs that barely covered her ass, was fucking brilliancy at its finest, and although it might have seemed improbable, my dick was ready for a day full of fucking the Swan dry.

If that was even fucking possible.

I jumped out of bed after her, and stopped her. "You're definitely not fucking answering my door looking like that." I said, pulling her into another god damn kiss and I was starting to feel like I was in some fucking old James Dean movie where she was god damn Natalie Wood or some shit like that.

More knocking, louder this time.

"Fuck." I mumbled. "You… stay here." I said, and through on my jeans before heading down the hallway to the front room.

I checked out through the window first to make sure this wasn't gonna be a visit from the fucking Mayor's goons and then scowled.

"What the hell?" I said, pulling the door open as I raked my hand through my hair. "Jake."

"Edward." He answered, grimacing, and kinda rocking forward and backward on the balls and heels of his feet.

"How the fuck…" I started to ask him how in the hell he knew where I lived when I'd never even brought The Swan there before the night before.

He seemed to know what I was asking and held up his cell phone. "GPS, I have Bella's phone completely in sync with mine, so I can find her when I need to."

Was he fucking kidding me?

"I think you need a new hobby, Jake. That's bordering on stalking."

He walked passed me saying "It's not stalking when you're best friends."

_Cocky ass._

"Anyway, I've been calling her since I left you guys last night, when she still didn't answer this morning, I decided I better find her before Charlie found out she was MIA." He joked, but I could tell there was also a lacing of fear in his words.

Part of me felt bad for not making her fucking check in with him, but the other part of me was kinda glad she hadn't answered her phone, because fuck fest a la Cullen would have been cut short and that would have pissed me off.

"A little over-protective, don't ya think? I mean, she IS a grown woman. She's knows how to…"

"You think you could ever stop worrying about her, Edward?" He asked, cutting me off, giving me one of those looks like he was daring me to say I could.

Not that I'd really given it much thought, but I felt like I'd been slapped in the face all of a sudden. Because even though I knew she could fucking take care of herself, I realized when he'd said that, that I'd probably move heaven and fucking earth to find her if I thought something was wrong.

It would probably bug the shit out of her, too.

But shit, it wasn't like I'd fucking track her using GPS or anything.

_Jesus._

I opened the door further so he could come in and said "Point taken, but seriously, what the fuck do you want?"

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "You're welcome." He said sarcastically,

Oh yeah, the bad guys. "Hey, that's right." I said, scowling. "I uh… forgot."

Shit, I felt like I'd been in a fucking Swan fog since the previous night, and things were starting to come back to me. Vaguely.

It was like Jake was some kind of god damn fog lifter.

_Dick._

"Everything go okay?" I asked him, following him into the living room.

"Perfect. I dropped 'em at the front door and waited in the wings for someone to find them."

He stopped there and I prodded. "Annnnnd?" circling my hand at him to urge him to continue.

He smiled. "Where's Bells?" Looking around, he realized she must have been in the back room. "I brought her some clothes."

Of course he did.

As much as I didn't want her taking my fucking shirt off, I had to admit, she needed some god damn clothes on.

Unless I could convince her to stay there, in my apartment, for a while anyway. You know, as my own personal sex slave.

And general all around make Edward feel really fucking good toy.

What?

He held the bag of clothes out and I started to snatch it out of his hand, when he held on to it tighter, stopping me.

I looked at him and he said "I don't know what's going on with you two exactly, but I do know, that's my best friend back there, Edward, and you should know, that if you fucking hurt her…"

I finished grabbing the bag out of his hand while I finished for him. "You'll kill me, yeah, got it."

Like I hadn't ever heard that shit before.

When I opened to the door to my bedroom, The Swan was sitting on the edge of the bed, wringing her hands like she was waiting outside of the fucking principal's office for her punishment for getting caught kissing boys behind the god damn gymnasium or something.

I wasn't sure if she was suddenly regretting our sex fest, or if maybe she was feeling guilty about getting caught here by Jake, or… what.

I felt the crease in between my eyebrows forming as I walked over to the bed to hand her the bag, preparing myself for either scenario.

"Jake's um…" I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb.

"Yeah." She said, taking the bag and pulling the normal fucking undies out, sliding them onto her legs and up over her hips.

My tongue darted out of my mouth and licked my lips by instinct, and I wanted to stop her, kick the BFF out, and begin our day again. And maybe ignore the knocking at my chamber door.

Because play time in the bed was way more fucking fun that watching her get ready to leave.

She unbuttoned my shirt and it slid off of her. She wasn't making any eye contact with me, so I said "I'll just…" Then I motioned to the door. "Wait out there and you can…" I waved at her clothes.

"Thanks." She said as she started to pull a bra out of the bag and put it on, and part of me wanted to go punch the BFF for touching her fucking underwear.

When I got back out into the living room area, Jake was sitting on my couch, feet up on the coffee table, and punching him didn't sound like such a bad idea.

"Feet off the fucking coffee table, Gargoyle." I said to him.

He looked at me confused. "You got a problem, Edward?"

He took his fucking feet down, he's not an idiot.

I thought about telling him "Yeah, there's something fucking wrong, you interrupted the best god damn sex of my life, idiot."

But I held that shit back, 'cause he'd actually really helped us out the night before, and because I had a funny fucking feeling that if I'd started a fight with the BFF, that The Swan would take too kindly to it.

"Nothin'." I said, "Want somethin' to drink?"

He started to get up and say something when The Swan entered the room, looking a little embarrassed and I was starting to get fucking annoyed as shit.

"Hey, Jake, thanks for the clothes." She said and he laughed. "Bells, your hair is uh…" He made a funny motion with his hands and she tried matting it down as I went to the kitchen, my hand found the bottle of Patron on the counter and I didn't even bother with a shot glass, I just took a swig of that fucker.

Another knock at the door and I took an additional swig, wondering who the fuck was paying me another god damn social visit.

I must not have closed the door all the way when Jake came in because I heard Emmett's booming voice saying his hellos while I took a nice deep breath in through my nose, trying to figure out a way to get rid of all the fucking cock blockers that were in my place at the same time somehow.

"Ed_WARD_!" He yelled, exaggerating the last part as he came around the corner into the kitchen, eyeing my computers and shit.

"Damn bro, you're like fucking Scotland Yard on steroids or something."

I nodded a short nod and said "Em, what are you…?" I shook my head and he said "You still haven't filled me in on the Ferrari shit, and I thought I'd hear from you… by…." He looked back toward the living room, seeming to get a clue. "Oh, shit man, I'm sorry, I had no idea…"

I put my hand up. "It's all good, Em, Jake already beat ya to it anyway."

He made a pained face. "Oh, man, not cool, want me to get rid of him?"

I laughed. "Nah, moment's gone anyway."

"Good, so fill me in bro." He said, anxious to hear what I had to tell him. But honestly, I wasn't looking forward to sharing that shit with him. It was one thing to tell The Swan, she didn't even really fucking know me. But to tell Em I thought maybe Jess was alive…

Shit.

I walked back into the living room and motioned for him to follow, thinking maybe it'd be easier to tell him with The Swan around, when I remembered something and asked him, "Did Muldoon tell you to follow me, Em?"

"Huh?"

"You were outside my office last week, was that on your own mission of some kind, or did Muldoon tell you to?"

The answer to that question would make a big fucking difference in the way I handled telling him shit.

He scowled a little and said "Edward, I wasn't outside your office last week dude."

_What?_

"Yes you were." I laughed a little. "I saw your squad car, Em."

"Edward." He insisted. "I definitely was NOT outside your fucking office last week, any day."

Did he think I was a fucking idiot?

"Em, it's all good man, I just wanna know why you were there." I kept prodding and by now, we were in the living room, and The Swan and Jake were standing quietly, waiting for us to square things away.

"I'm not afraid to tell you if I was there, Edward, I'd fucking tell you if I was there… but I WASN'T, so there's NOTHING to TELL you."

I breathed out heavy and decided "Ya know what, fuck it, there's really nothing to tell you about the god damn Ferrari, Em, why don't you just move along, and… I don't know… go… spy on someone else for the day."

I mean, fucking seriously. Did he NOT think I knew his squad car when I saw it?

He gave me a look like he was gonna try to defend himself again, but then threw his hands up and waved them at me. "You'll never fucking change, Edward… never trust anyone, right? Because then no one can fucking hurt you."

"Amen to fucking that." I said, opening the door wide for him to leave.

As he was getting ready to cross the threshold, Seth walked up and I raked my hand over my fucking face because this god damn day was going to hell in a fucking hand basket faster than I could wrap my head around the fact that The Swan had been giving me an odd god damn look ever since I re-entered the living room.

"Seth." I said, trying to remain calm, so the kid wouldn't think I was pissed at him or anything.

"Hey, Edward." He said hesitantly. "I um, brought you your… those things… you wanted… and your mail."

"Right, hey, thanks man. Just…" I waved over to the dining room area. "Put it all over there, and … OH…" I went over to my bag and pulled out the cell phone I'd gotten him.

"Here." I started to hand it to him, completely fucking oblivious to everyone around us at that point.

"Shit, Edward, cool man! This is mine?"

I laughed. "Yeah, kid, it's yours. My number's programmed into it and your number's on the back." I pulled it away from him before he fully had it in his hand. "It's for fucking emergencies only, got it?"

He smiled "Got it, Edward." Then I let him take it fully and he flipped it open, starting to play with the buttons.

That's when I noticed everyone staring at us.

"Listen, why don't you get going, and I'll… check in later." I said.

"Who is this?" Emmett asked.

"Did you say his name was, Seth?" Jake asked, looking at Seth with a strained face and The Swan said "I know right? I thought it sounded familiar, wasn't there some case back about a Seth _something_, like, years ago?"

"What?" I asked them both.

"Helloooooo." Emmett interjected again. "Introduction?"

I waved him off and went back to what Jake and The Swan were saying, but Jake didn't seem like he was remembering a whole lot, and in all honesty, it didn't seem possible that they'd have heard anything clear across the fucking US about Seth.

The kid was oblivious and walking out of the door while Emmett stopped him, putting his whole fucking hand on Seth's chest. "Don't I know you? Weren't you spraying graffiti on the walls downtown a few weeks back?"

I stepped in between them. "Back the fuck off, Em." I said, and Seth scowled, saying "I don't know what you're talking about man."

Emmett pushed his jacket back to get his walkie out and Seth caught a glimpse of his gun.

_And badge._

"You're a fucking cop?" He yelled, then looked at me like I was the god damn devil. "You fucking setting me up Edward?" He asked accusingly.

"What? No… _Seth_." He pushed passed me and I started to grab him but missed his arm and he was gone.

Down the stairs and half way across the god damn lot before I could get passed Em. Then I turned around and got in his face "What the fuck Em?"

"He's a god damn juvenile delinquent, Edward. What the fuck are you doing letting a kid like that into your place?" He asked me accusingly, like I was letting in a god damn serial killer or something.

Then I pushed his ass out of the door.

"Talk about never fucking changing, Em. Get the fuck out."

He gave me a look like he wanted to say something, but with all the people around, I guess he decided saying something decent or hell, I don't know, a fucking apology, would be a sign of weakness, so instead, he just turned and left, continuing to make his fucking call into the station through his walkie.

I tried calling Seth a couple times but he didn't answer.

Shit, for all I knew, he'd thrown the damn thing into the trash on his way back to whatever fucking part of town he came from.

I sat down on the couch in the living room, leaning forward, putting my head in my hands, letting my fingers find their way through my bed head and to the back of my neck, completely ignoring The Swan and Jake, until she sat down next to me, and placed a hand on my knee.

"He'll be okay, Edward."

I snapped myself out of the haze I felt like I'd been in for most of the fucking morning and looked at her sideways, also catching a glimpse of Jake off to the side of us, arms crossed still, head tilted, like he was trying to figure out a fucking puzzle.

_Well good luck with that one, pal._

I locked eyes with The Swan again, and felt a pang of… _something_, then decided I wasn't going down the road of feeling fucking sorry for myself today.

"Yeah, well, I've got bigger god damn things to worry about than his scrawny ass getting himself killed, right?"

She pulled back and looked at me odd. "What?"

I stood up and went for the dining room. "I mean" I laughed bitterly "The fucking. MAYOR. Wants me dead, no doubt, and NEWTON is his fucking lackey, what more could I god damn ask for?"

I started rifling through my filing drawers rougher than necessary maybe, but I wanted to find what I fucking needed, and fast.

"Edward, we can help." Jake started.

Which made me think of something. "Anyone see you when you dropped the goons off?" I asked him.

He shrugged away from The Swan. "Doubtful. I was pretty well hidden, and there weren't many people or cars in the lot."

"Who came out for 'em?"

"Some tall dirty blonde haired dude, huge guy… and a woman. Couldn't get a good look at her though."

"Fuck." Was all I said when I finally found the file I was looking for.

"Sorry." He said.

"Thanks Jake." I said, and even though I heard the words coming out of my mouth, it was still hard to believe it was me fucking saying them.

I flipped the folder open onto my desk in the dining room and began flipping through the papers until I found the copy of the fucking death certificate for Jess I'd obtained way back when.

I stared at the date for a minute, while The Swan and Jake spoke quietly and although I heard bits and pieces of their conversation, I really wasn't paying much attention while I checked the name of the coroner who'd signed off on Jess's death.

It was Jaime's assistant's signature.

Weird. Jaime usually had to sign off on everything before it was filed. I didn't know why I'd never caught that detail before.

"...And then I'm headin' back to Forks today."

Now THAT, I fucking heard.

I stopped and looked over to The Swan, who seemed a little disappointed. "What? Why?"

Jake smiled and for the first time since I'd met him, I felt like I actually liked the guy.

"I don't think you need me anymore, Bells." He said and she seemed to not know what the fuck he was talking about, but he looked over at me and I got it.

"You said you'd stay through the… _competition_." She whispered, and I snickered. Like I wasn't gonna fucking hear that shit.

"I don't think there's a competition anymore Bells." He said, and winked at her, then gave her a big fucking bear hug before letting her go.

She seemed a little shell shocked as he kissed her forehead and told her "Call if ya need anything." Then he looked over to me and added "That means you too, Edward. Don't be stubborn."

I didn't answer him.

I mean shit, since when did I need anything?

He left and I gave him a short wave as he walked to his rental and when I turned back to The Swan, she was wiping her eyes.

I don't like tears, people, they make me highly uncomfortable.

"Smart ass." I said, shutting the door.

She smiled and started to walk around, gathering the little bits of fabric and her fuck me boots up into her arms when I realized, she was leaving too. "I didn't realized I'd actually missed him till he was here." She said as she collected everything.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked her.

She looked like what I said was fucking German or something. "I just, figured, you'd want to you know… get to work on the next case I'm sure the Lieutenant has sent us by now."

She sniffled a little and I started taking things out of her hands.

"Didn't you hear Jake?" I asked her, putting her things on the couch. "There's no more competition." I smiled, holding her shoulders and pulling her into a small kiss on the lips, which turned quickly into a much more passionate one, and I couldn't help but wonder how fast I could get her out of those fucking clothes she had on.

I thought about the night before, and how seeing her fucking take down an asshole in lingerie had made my dick explode, and how lucky we were that the Mayor hadn't seen her there at the club. He probably had just thought she was some random woman I'd picked up while I was there.

I stopped kissing her and looked at her, thinking that the night before, she'd looked some completely different from when she was working.

On purpose that is.

He hadn't expected to see me there with anyone. He only fucking expected me, because I was the only one who'd known about Jess so far. And I was the only one Jess was showing up for, and I was the only one that would have followed her around like a fucking maniac.

"Edward?" The Swan was saying, but I was gone, lost in thoughts.

I followed that line of thinking to Emmett, and how he wouldn't expect Em to know anything, because as far as he knew, Em and I weren't on speaking terms, so he didn't have him to worry about.

For now.

He wanted me alone, away from any back up. He wanted me out of the fucking picture.

Which meant I was god damn on to something.

And then I thought about how if The Swan and I played our cards right, he didn't need to know that there was anything more to our relationship than the hatred he thought we had for each other.

"We can make this work to our advantage." I said out loud, not meaning to.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the Mayor thinks we fucking hate each other's guts."

She laughed. "I actual do hate your guts…" She started, and I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Sometimes."

"Exactly. So why not let him continue thinking that. We'll solve the shit together, and just keep canceling each other out, then no one wins and we buy some time to try and figure out what the fuck he's up to."

"Again." She said, "What. Do. You. _Mean_."

I had to fucking laugh at her sometimes. "Swan, don't you think it was an odd coincidence that he came up with this fucking "competition" about the same time as his wife fucking dies? And the woman he was having an affair with supposedly killed her?"

She kept listening.

"I think he came up with it to keep us busy. Which means maybe I'm right."

She cocked an eyebrow at me. "I thought you already thought you were _always_ right."

I waved her off "It's all theories, Swan, until you can prove something, it's always just a theory. But this…" I slapped my fist into my other hand. "He's scared."

I said down and she did too.

"Okay, he's scared. Now what?"

"Now we play his ass and catch the bad guys."

She snorted. "You make it sound awfully simple, Cullen."

"It is simple Swan. Dangerous, yeah, but definitely simple."

Then the thoughts about my old friend started swirling in my head and before I knew what I was saying, I asked her "Do you think it's really Jess? Do you think she's alive?"

She furrowed her brow to think and said "Well, I guess it's possible. There's only one way to find out for sure though, and that's…"

"To catch the Ferrari driver." We both said.

I called Jazzman.

"Yo. Cullen." He answered, and I heard my sister giggling in the background.

I closed my eyes because I really didn't wanna fucking think about what they were doing.

Or where.

"Jazz, I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. Add it to the bill."

"Already on it dude."

"Get me a list of all female workers for Arrow Shipping." I said. "And there's dates of initial employment."

He waited a minute and then said "Got it, shouldn't take long."

"Thanks man."

I hung up and looked back to my fucking computer system, thinking all kinds of random fucking thoughts about Jess, and the Mayor, and how Emmett had in-fucking-sisted that it wasn't him in his cruiser last week outside of my office.

Now that my mind was working a little bit, I realized he didn't' really have a reason to lie.

_Hmmm._

Just as well though, the further away from me Emmett was, the safer he was from getting a shit storm of fuckery laid out on his ass. I'd deal with him later.

If it wasn't him, though, who the fuck was it?

I picked up my cell and called Seth again, leaving a message this time. And hopefully he'd figure out how to fucking check said messages at some point.

"Seth, it's Edward. Forget my brother, because he's just that, my brother, he's an idiot and doesn't think before he talks sometimes, but he's alright. Call me."

I ended the call and then checked e-mail, and sure enough, there was another case for The Swan and I from Muldoon.

_No big fucking deal._ I thought as I grabbed the shirt that The Swan had had on earlier and threw it on.

What? I like that shirt.

We'd solve the case in short fucking time, and this one would go to her technically, for the record and all, and we'd spend most of our free time checking out more leads on The Mayor.

_Easy like Sunday morning._

I filled Pups food and water bowls and left them sitting out on the front porch as we left my apartment and she smirked at me.

"Okay, so I feed the fucking dog." I laughed. "Sue me."

She shook her head and we walked down the stairs to our cars.

"I'm gonna head home, take a shower and then swing by my own office to make sure no one wants to actually hire me for something where I get paid." She teased.

I stopped her, and was about to pull her into me and kiss her, but I thought better of it, thinking if the fucking Mayor had any brains, he'd have someone watching us, and kissing The Swan would probably be a dead giveaway that something was going on between us.

Of course, leaving my apartment together was probably just as much of a dead giveaway.

By the time I'd decided _Fuck it,_ she was already at her truck getting in to the driver's side.

_Next time._

"Check in with me." I said. "And then come by my office, I'm gonna develop those fucking pictures of the Mayor once and for all and see what we find."

She eyed me. "Pictures? I thought I destroyed those?"

I smiled, remembering that first day she'd walked into my fucking office and played like she didn't know what she was doing. "Found a few on the floor that still hadn't been ruined."

"Maybe I should touch base with Muldoon. Feel him out." She mused.

I had to fucking admit it, I liked the way she thought. And although I didn't know if I liked that way that shit sounded, her being around that scum sucking asshole, I wasn't gonna be another fucking "Jake" to her, so I said "Keep me posted." And then headed over to the Vanquish as she argued with the piece of shit truck when it wouldn't turn over for her.

I was gonna have to work on convincing her to get something a little more fucking reliable at some point.

As I climbed into the Vanquish and watched her leave, my phone buzzed and I checked to see who was calling.

_Fucking Hell._

I answered the call as politely as possible. "Morning Tanya."

"That's Ms. Denali, to you, Mr. Cullen."

_Whatever._

I rolled my eyes at the phone. "What can I…" I started to ask her, but then I realized what fucking day it was.

Jesus Christ I did _not_ have time for playing by the rules, but shit, maybe if I played along, I could get out early on good behavior and get back to the real work that needed to be done, so I finished my thought with "I'm on my way Ms. Denali, see ya in a bit."

I ended the call before she'd had a chance to ask "what the fuck?" and cranked some tunes, heading off for some good old fashioned ass kissin'.

Hey, I never said I didn't know how to play the fucking game, I only said I didn't like doing it.

When I pulled out of my lot, and started down the road, I spotted the familiar fucking Red Ferrari that had been plaguing me for the last couple of weeks pull up behind me at a stop light as it turned green for me.

_Could be any old red Ferrari, Cullen, there's lots of red Ferrari's in the city._

I eyed it through my rear view mirror, trying to get a good look at the driver, but even the front windshield was tinted to the point of not being able to see into the vehicle.

I slowed, she slowed.

I sped up, she sped up.

I made a couple of random turns, so did she.

_Definitely not just any old red Ferrari._

"What are you doin', Jess?" I whispered to her, knowing fully fucking well she couldn't hear me, but thought, hell, ya never know, she was a ghost after all.

I could have blown Tanya off, engaged in a car chase, maybe forced her to crash, jump out of her car, tackle her to the ground and ask her why the FUCK she was following me.

"No." I thought finally. "It's your turn to give chase, Jess. See how you like it."

I decided to ignore the fuck out of her, and just go on my way to Tanya's office, and shit, maybe even tell her I was seeing dead people.

_Nah._

Bad idea, she'd probably not only have me thrown into the fucking mental institution faster than I could make The Swan cum, but have my P.I. license taken away to boot.

No, I'd keep this little pocket of information to myself, and just stick to giving Tanya the fuckery she wanted to hear.

I was pretty sure I'd be in and out of there before I could even get annoyed with her anal retentive pencil stacking abilities anyway.

Right?


	15. Dirty Deeds & Damming Evidence

**A/N: Chappy song = Anxiety by Black Eyed Peas**

* * *

**Chapter 14 ~ "Dirty Deeds and Damning Evidence"**

**PART 1. THE SWAN **

"Stupid truck." I mumbled as she sputtered and clunked down the road.

I couldn't believe I was actually _wishing_ to have been driving something more along the lines of Cullen's 'bat mobile' than my baby.

I smiled, taking my full bottom lip in between my teeth, thinking about the night I'd just spent with him and how absolutely wonderful he'd made me feel all night long. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open and on the road, as opposed to closing them in an effort to just see his eyes staring back into mine for another minute.

It wasn't like I practically threw myself at men all the time or anything, but jeeze, the man had talents beyond my wildest imagination, and shit, I wanted more. I wished so badly that we didn't have these stupid cases to work on so I could go back to his place and just, stay there.

I just drove, letting my mind wander through the night's… um… _activities_ and I smiled most of the time, until it eventually made its way to the morning, and how Emmett had shown up, their argument, Seth, and then it landed smack dab on Jake leaving.

Then I re-wound to Seth for a minute and called Jake's cell.

I knew he wasn't back yet, but when he landed on the West coast, he'd get the message.

"Jake, it's Bells. Listen, check on that name for me will you? Seth? Cross reference it maybe? I know it sounds familiar for a reason… I just can't seem to fully remember…"

_Beeeeeeep._

Oh hell, he'll get the idea.

I slapped the phone shut and kept thinking about Jake a little.

Even though I was a little sad that he'd gone, I knew it was for the best. Having Jake around only complicated things, suffocated me, and seemed to cause Cullen to have seizures of some sort.

I giggled and shook my head at the way he'd looked at me earlier that morning when Jake had brought my clothes to his house and he realized there was a bra in the bag as I put it on.

I mean, what? Did he expect me to walk around with no bra all day?

At my place, as I walked through the door, I realized the stark difference between my life in general, and Cullen's. He was so orderly, put together, always seemed to have a plan, and I was… well, a mess for the most part.

I still had yet to un-pack most of my boxes, and clothes were all over the place. Granted, I'd painted, that was a priority, but everything else was just kinda thrown wherever I'd found room.

Dad had given me a really hard time about it when he was visiting, hinting that maybe my sub-conscious didn't really want to stay here, and was keeping me from rooting myself.

Jake had just laughed. At least he knew better.

I sighed, thinking I really needed to make it a priority to put things away soon.

_After this case, then I'd have time._

I played my messages, two of which were dad. One letting me know he'd made it home, the other to make sure I was okay because I hadn't called him yet after his message to let me know he'd gotten home.

I rolled my eyes.

The others were telemarketers.

How the Hell do they get a hold of your number so fast?

I knew Jake would be home soon enough and he'd probably fill dad in on things over here and I'd only start getting more and more "worry" phone calls, so I told myself I'd wait and call him later.

I dropped my stuff in the hallway and jumped into the shower after letting it heat up to a ridiculously hot temperature, letting my hands travel over my body, along the same places Cullen had traveled it in his bed, trying to remember the distinct feeling of heat that he'd left behind everywhere he'd touched me.

It wasn't the same.

Nothing would ever be the same.

I sighed as I cut the shower short and dressed in clothes that I thought would be professional, and yet flirty, knowing I'd be seeing both Muldoon, and Cullen today.

_Edward._

I started wondering if last night was going to end up being just a one night stand kinda thing, or if there was a possibility of seducing him again.

I needed to feel him inside of me.

It was just… so…

_Later._

A smile crept over my lips as I realized how much I loved the way he made me say his name, along with the way saying his name made me feel.

Like I was something special to him.

Then I obviously wondered why he still only called me _Swan_ and my face fell a little.

Maybe not quite so special.

_Special enough to be the first woman he'd brought to his apartment though._

I smiled again and even though part of me wanted to scratch the eyes out of any and all women who'd ever had the pleasure of feeling his touch and partaking in sex with him, I also felt quite smug and had the strangest urge to update my Facebook page with "I spent the night in Edward Cullen's bed".

But that's just immature.

Once I finished getting ready and felt confident I looked decent and not so much like I'd just been fucked silly all night, literally, I headed out, grabbing a protein bar and Pepsi Max on the way out.

Protein and caffeine are my basics.

While I drove to the office to check on things, I started thinking about what Cullen was saying about the contest, and it made sense, but I did wonder how much Muldoon actually had to do with anything. Which is why I wanted to touch base with him, feel him out, see how deep into this thing he was.

The Mayor seemed to be a slam dunk. I just wasn't as sure as Cullen was that he was the one who'd killed Lauren and slash or his wife.

Although, it's not like I had a gut feeling on who actually HAD committed those murders.

And I definitely wasn't convinced that this Jessica person was alive.

I was almost positive that someone was fucking with him.

I just didn't know who.

Was I gonna tell him that?

_Hell no. _

He needed to come to that conclusion himself. Otherwise, I'm just another person trying to hurt him by insinuating he's got one too many conspiracy theories going on in his head.

Which he does, but that's what makes him Cullen, and what makes him flawless at what he does.

He most assuredly didn't need any more people like that in his life right now, so for the time being at least, I was keeping my mouth shut.

He was definitely right about the Mayor, and how he still thought I pretty much despised Cullen. I thought maybe I could somehow get into the inner circle he had surrounding him and find some shit out.

Again, probably not gonna mention that to Cullen.

I parked the truck and she sputtered at me as I stared up at the building my office was located in and got out.

_Why would Emmett park his car outside of Cullen's office? He doesn't usually have a problem confronting him about anything._

That whole, Emmett's cruiser being seen out right like that didn't make sense to me, either.

Someone clearly wanted Cullen to see the car, and wanted him to think it was Emmett.

I really wasn't liking how things were looking, there seemed to be too many players to keep track of and maybe even one or two he wasn't even aware of yet.

I ran up the stairs to my office and sighed heavily when I entered there too, at the mess I hadn't realized I was living in 'till I actually paid attention to what organization looked like.

I moved a pile of papers off of my desk and onto the floor while I checked e-mail and pulled up the one that Muldoon had sent us for our "competition".

They were getting just a little more difficult every time he sent us one, and this seemed like a doozy.

_Definitely trying to keep us busy_.

He was having us investigate some lost inventory out of a pawn shop nearby. I didn't like pawn shops, very scary people ran those types of places, but at least Cullen would know how to handle them, since he was from here and all.

I put a few things away, trying to convince myself I did indeed want to stay here, and not run back home to dad where things were comfortable, and familiar.

I may be the little fish here and all, but I could make a name for myself, I could survive this place. I was sure of it.

I printed off the case document and grabbed a few other things before I headed back out, and toward downtown DC to see Muldoon, and find out once and for all if he was going to be classified as one of the good guys, or one of the bad guys.

I got a text from Cullen and laughed, thumbing my screen, pretending it was his flawless freaking sexy, 'fuck me' bed hair.

He said: _Eddy Jr. says he needs another workout._

I had to admit, his vulgarity was growing on me, and couldn't help but take the text as a compliment.

I decided I wasn't gonna give him the reaction he wanted, and texted him back, saying: _Heading to Muldoons, crazy person, will check in after._

I put my cell into my back pack and turned it on vibrate as I walked into the Police Precinct. I went over some of the things I'd planned on bringing up and just as I got onto the elevator and thought I'd have a nice quiet ride up, a hand stopped the doors from closing.

_Crap._

The Officer stepped in, giving me a look of vague recognition and I looked down, trying to avoid his gaze.

"You're that Swan chick, right?" He asked, pushing the button for the same floor I was heading to.

I didn't answer him right away.

"The one who's helping Muldoon out?" He bent his head down to look me in the eyes. "Yeah, I thought it was you."

Giving up on remaining non-communicative with the man, I looked up finally and smiled. "That's me." I laughed politely.

He put his hand out to shake mine and I felt a certain queasiness in my stomach, not wanting to touch him to save my life, but I did it, because I needed him to believe I was on his side at some point.

"Mike Newton." He said, smiling a nice big, perfect toothed smile at me. Jeeze, I almost thought one of them was gonna do that sparkle thing at me like in the movies where the guy is absolutely perfect, you know what I mean?

Except this guy is far from perfect.

He was so totally not even close to Edward's league.

"I'm, Bella. _Swan_." I said, shaking his hand firmly.

He laughed, letting go of my hand and leaned up against the elevator wall, not inches from me, nearly touching me, and I wanted to knee him right in the balls.

"Gotta suck to be you, right?" Smiling down at me with his smug face, crossing his arms. I scrunched my eyebrows, letting him know I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You know, working with Cullen." He laughed through his nose. "That guy is _psycho_." He said it, making his eyes big like it was the most interesting news of all time.

Now I REALLY wanted to knee him in the balls.

But I couldn't.

_Play the part, Swan. _

"Tell me about it." I said, biting my lip, trying to smile.

Thank god the doors opened then, and I stepped around him, heading for Muldoon's office, but he quickly caught up with me and walked beside me.

"You headin' in to the see the Lieutenant?"

_God, why does he have to walk so close to me?_

I sized him up a little, he wasn't THAT big. Definitely not as big as Emmett, and he was still smaller than Cullen.

"Uh… yeah. Late actually." I said, picking up my pace.

"I hope you kick Cullen's ass to the curb with that competition, him and his brother deserve a little pummeling." He nudged me and I stopped, spinning around on him, putting my hands up like stop signs.

He stopped short and smirked at me. "Please don't…. touch me, I'm… I don't like it when…"

He nodded in smug understanding. "Oh yeah… I forgot." He said.

Then I was confused again, and furrowed my brow at him. "Forgot _what_?"

He leaned in a little so no one else could hear him and said "You know, virgin and all." Then wiggled his eyebrows and I suddenly became highly annoyed with him.

And it dawned on me that he was referring to my, oh so public announcement about my… lack of oral satisfaction… at the Mayor's event the week prior.

Just goes to show how deep his idiocy delved. Since ORAL satisfaction had NOTHING to do with ACTUAL fucking PENIS penetration!

_Asshat._

I rolled my eyes and closed them, breathing out slowly so I wouldn't lose my temper too badly. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not a…"

"Miss Swan!"

I jerked my head around to see the Lieutenant standing outside of his office. "I wasn't expecting you today."

My attentions were quickly diverted from officer Newton and I walked over to Muldoon. "Lieutenant, I'm glad I was able to catch you in today. We need to talk."

I didn't wait for his approval of barging in on him, I walked passed him, into his office and sat down, waiting for him to join me.

"Hold my calls, Grace." I heard him say, and then he closed his door and the blinds and sat behind his desk, leaning forward with his hands clasped together.

I needed to play this perfectly, or I could be getting Cullen and myself into some seriously deep shit, so I smiled my best shy smile, and started with "Lieutenant, I think you're being played."

He leaned all the way back into his chair then, and put his hands behind his neck, furrowing his brow at me.

"Fill me in."

So I did, hoping I could get his attention and help somehow, in bring this case to an end so Cullen could start living his life.

**PART 2. CULLEN **

"_So what's it gonna be, Jess?" I asked impatiently as she continued pulling books off of the shelf, tossing them hap-hazzardly into her cart._

_She tried to hide a smile, but I could tell she was just fucking with me. _

"_I haven't made up my mind, Edward. I'm gonna have to let you know later."_

_She was good._

_But not good enough._

"_Well…" I sucked in a sarcastic breath of air and looked at my watch. "You've got till about ten minutes from now, and then I'm… movin' on." I let my hand glide out in front of me, like I was imitating a sail boat._

_She looked at me, holding the last copy of "Maryland Criminal Law" in her hands and arched an eyebrow at me. "Really." _

_She said it, like she didn't believe me, but there was a hint of unsure-ness._

_I smiled and shrugged my shoulders at her. "That's right, cause see that fine specimen over there?" I nodded behind me, over at a very short, very cute little brunette standing at the cashier's line and Jess followed my line of sight, peeking her head around my body so she could see better and furrowed her brow. _

"_She's next in line… and I'm thinkin' I won't get such a hard fucking time outta her." I smirked._

_Jess's eyes darted to the side a bit, then back to me and she adjusted her stance so she was right in front of me again. "Well, something tells me you're not gonna have much luck with that one, Edward." She said, smirking back at me and when I turned around to see why, I got it. The boyfriend had joined said brunette and was paying for her things._

_Okay, so I blew that one, but I'm the mother fucking come-back kid extraordinaire, so I said "Just as well, you'd have been heartbroken if you'd seen me out with her."_

_Jess laughed and shook her head at me. "Ya think?"_

_I got all kinds of sarcastically serious with her and said "Oh… yeah, definitely. Then things would have been all awkward and shit in class, you'd be making a fool of yourself, calling every day, coming by the dorms…" I curled my lips down. "Ugly."_

_She laughed even harder and told me "You are, so sad, Edward." Then she started pushing her cart over to the checkout line._

"_Jess." I said following her. "I've been asking you out for months, don't you think you're taking the whole… 'hard to get' thing a little too far here?"_

_She stopped pushing the cart and twisted her mouth a little, then looked at me._

"_Edward, if I go out with you, do you PROMISE to stop harassing me about it?"_

_I smiled._

"_Absolutely." I said, placing my hand over my heart._

_She sighed. "Fine. But when this ends badly, don't blame me, and DON'T plan on quitting our study group, because I will literally… kick… your ass." _

"_Deal." I said. "Eight O'clock?"_

_She rolled her eyes and looked at the clock on the wall. "Eight Fifteen." _

_Typical Jess, she couldn't just fucking agree with me. She had to one up me every god damn time._

"_Fine. Eight Fifteen. See ya then." _

_I headed off to the dorms to get ready and plan out a night of wining and dining the only girl in the whole fucking academy that held any interest for me whatsoever._

"Mr. Cullen?" Tanya was calling out to me, annoyed. Who knows how many times she'd said my name before I'd heard her, I was lost in a memory I hadn't thought about in, fucking ever.

She'd asked me what I thought my fondest memory of the Police Academy had been, and for some reason, Jess just popped right into my head.

I don't know why. I certainly wouldn't say it was my _fondest _memory, but it was one of them. I mean, fucking hell, that was one of the biggest fails in the history of dating as far as we were both concerned and I laughed, remembering how the night had actually ended so far in the opposite fucking direction from how I'd planned it out.

Tanya and I had already talked about everything from her thinking my case load was too heavy, to how my relationship with my father needed to be mended before I could move on with anything else in my life. I even almost slipped and told her about The Swan, but no one could know about our… whatever it was.

Just in-fucking-case.

"Sorry." I said, trying to keep up that whole, cooperative attitude and shit.

"Well?" She pushed.

I scowled, not really wanting to tell this quack shit, but I knew that the more open I seemed, the quicker I'd get outta there, so I told her "I guess, being there with Em. We'd always planned on going to the Academy together, graduating, getting on the force…" I trailed off, remembering our pact.

Tanya tilted her head at the expression on my face and I re-gained my composure.

"And you didn't follow through with that plan, so you feel… what? Like you've disappointed him?"

I shook my head. "I didn't say that."

I really fucking hate it when people put words in my mouth.

"You didn't have to, Edward." She advised me, with a knowing look on her smug ass face.

What the fuck was she talking about? I wasn't the one who'd fucked up. Emmett was the one that chose the force over me. He's the one that made it clear he held them in higher regard than his own fucking family.

I was starting to dislike my "plan" for this session and thinking about just leaving, because fuck, I really didn't have time for this shit.

Seth was MIA, Emmett was being a dick again, The fucking Swan was… walking into the lion's den and shit, and I had who knew how long before the Mayor sent some nameless, faceless goon after me and I could very well end up dead right along with his wife and lover.

It was gonna be a long god damn day, that's for sure.

I peeked at my watch as I let out a heavy god damn sigh and Tanya laughed.

"I think that's enough for this week, Edward. Thanks for coming by." She said, then seemed to think of something and asked me "How are things with your brother anyway?"

I let out a sigh and said "Great. It's all great, we played Wii." I laughed through my nose, and felt my face fall immediately fucking following that thought.

_And I may or may not be putting him in harm's way due to a little misunderstanding with his boss and Police Lieutenant, but hey, who's really paying attention to that shit anyway. Right?_

She smiled encouragingly at me. "That's great, Edward, and no broken bones?"

I gave her a half smile. "No broken bones."

_Yet._

"Well I think that's great progress." She wrote something down and I was getting a sinking feeling that she was writing something else down for me to "practice" saying, like… fucking "I love you" or some shit like that.

If she did, I was definitely fucking walking out.

She handed me her card with the next date and time I was expected to come see her written on the back of it and I felt a sigh of relief escape my mouth.

I tucked it into my jacket and nodded to her as I got up.

"Next time then." I said, and she answered "Next time."

I was almost out of the door when she said "Oh, and Edward?"

_Fuck me._

I turned around and smiled "Yeah?"

"Next time try not to blow quite so much smoke up my ass, okay?"

I grimaced and nodded, _politely, _which was really fucking hard to do, and left.

I turned the lights on in my office and threw the keys down on my desk, rubbing the back of my neck which fucking felt like I'd been hit with a god damn battering ram.

Fucking sex with The Swan was gonna force me to work out more.

I hit the 'play' button on my answering machine with one hand, pulling my Colt out of the back of my jeans with the other, and laid it on the desk next to my keys. Then I sat down to route through the mail.

The official invitation to Alice's show from the other night lay on top and I smiled, instinctively adjusting my dick at the thought of The Swan in that fucking lingerie again.

Something about her willingness to let me give her a good pussy lickin' in that fucking club told me she gonna make a great P.I. some day.

I know, weird right? But seriously, the woman takes risks. That's the shit right there.

She needed a Cullen text.

And I needed to make sure she wasn't in any kinda trouble because of me, so I pulled out my cell and sent her a little somethin' to keep her mind off of asshats, and on me.

When she wrote back saying she was on her way to Muldoon's office, I had to fucking admit, I didn't like it. The number of crooked god damn cops in that building made me wanna puke every time I thought about it.

Not to mention the fact that fucking Emmett was caught up in the middle of all that bullshit somehow.

Whether he knew it or not.

"… I'll be sure to stop by sometime tomorrow… thank you Mr. Cullen." The familiar voice ended its message on my machine.

I scowled at it and re-wound the message. It was from my mystery, pain in the fucking ass, won't leave me shit for information about her case, potential client again. She'd left the message the day before which meant, in her mind, she'd be stopping by today.

It didn't leave me a whole lot of fucking time to get the shit done I'd actually come into the office to do.

My god damn head was reeling from all the shit swirling around in it as I pulled the Mayor's file out of the fucking file cabinet and found the negative I needed.

_But first…_

I went to the small bathroom I had in the office and started a shower, because smelling like sex, although it was nice for me to have dirty fucking thoughts about The Swan all day, might not be quite so sexy to a new client.

I made it fast, because I had no god damn idea when this lady was planning on showing up, and because I didn't get a whole hell of a lot of hot water in this building.

And I fucking hate cold showers.

The shower wasn't fast enough apparently, though, because just as I was starting to make my way to the closet for a clean pair of jeans to put on, I heard her sneak the fuck up on me from the hallway.

"Mr. Cullen, so nice to… _see you_."

_I REALLY gotta start locking that front fucking door._

For some reason it just always made sense to leave it unlocked while I was there, you know, clients can walk in, like a doctor's office.

But I digress.

This isn't a fucking doctor's office, and the clients that come to me sometimes have guns.

I'm not a very shy motherfucker, so I stood there, with the towel wrapped around my hips, holding it closed with one hand, reaching out to shake her hand with the other.

What? I'm not fucking rude and shit.

Most of the time, anyway.

"You must be my mystery fucking client. Maybe I'll find out what exactly it is you need today? Miss…"

I prodded for a last name. It's a habit.

She smirked at me and took my hand softly, eying me up and down once. "You can call me Victoria."

Great, like I needed another cryptic ass person in my life.

Then a thought crossed my mind, getting a good look at her, and I walked over to the small window in the bathroom, looking down to the street below and sure enough, that fucking red Ferrari sat parked across the street.

_Smug motherfucker._

I couldn't see anyone inside of it, and then I looked back over to my new client.

"You're, what? Five Six, Five Seven?" I asked her, sizing her up while I moved passed her into the hallway and grabbed some jeans out of the closet.

She kept the smirk on her face and tilted her head at me as I pulled the jeans up under the towel, letting it fall while I buttoned them up. "Yes," she answered, eying my hands. "Five Six, why do you ask, Mr. Cullen?"

Yes, we're going fucking commando today. Move along, people.

Her hair was red, but that didn't mean shit, she could have thrown a wig on. Her build was about right, too.

"Hand me you car keys, Vic." I said, holding my hand out, curling my fingers up a few times as I grabbed my button down to put it back on.

She scrunched her eyebrows. "Why would you want my car…"

"JUST… give them to me, lady." I slipped my arms into the shirt and began buttoning it while she dug into her purse to get them.

I didn't need this shit, and if I fucking was about to find out this woman was my Jessica ghost, well, let's just fucking say I might be doing some time for hitting a woman after all.

She pulled the keys out and looked at me, amused and started to ask me something. "I really don't understand…"

I snatched them out of her hand and walked to the window out in the main area this time, pushing the button on her automatic door opener with the red "X" on it, watching the Ferrari impatiently.

But it wasn't the Ferrari that began sounding off a loud alarm.

It was the Mercedes parked four cars down from it.

_Well, Shit._

_There goes that theory._

It wasn't like I had a good look at the license plate anyway, it could have been any old red Ferrari in town.

Right?

I handed her the keys back and walked over to my desk to put my socks and shoes back on, but only after I picked my Colt up and placed it snugly into the back of my jeans.

Consider it a precaution.

"I'm not really taking new clients right now, so if you'll excuse me…" I pulled up my e-mail so I'd look uber fucking busy but she just stood there, smirk still in place, like SHE was the one interviewing ME.

I mean, the fucking nerve right?

"Lady…"

"I think you'll be interested in this case, Mr. Cullen." She started walking toward me and I started having de ja fucking vu about how The Swan had stalked up to me like that, the first day I'd met her.

But this woman wasn't sultry like The Swan.

She was fucking lethal.

She also got my attention. "Okay," I sat back in my chair. "I give, by all fucking means." I waved my hands at her, offering for her to have a seat. "Interest me."

She took the seat across from me and made herself comfortable before starting.

"I work for a very well known, very reclusive man, Mr. Cullen. Something of his have been taken from him, and he needs it… _retrieved_."

I furrowed my brow at the way she said _retrieved._

"Money is no object."

Hmm.

"Why don't you tell me what it is that's been taken, and then we can talk about money."

She got up and gathered her things. "I think I know all I need to know for now, Mr. Cullen. I'll be in touch."

She made to leave but I got up and stepped in front of her, putting my hand against the door frame so she couldn't leave.

Yet.

"What the fuck are you playin' at?" I asked, annoyed that she'd dangled the carrot and wasn't giving me any god damn information to work with.

She didn't budge, and didn't attempt to move me out of the way, she just arched one of her perfectly fucking manicured eye brows, and said "Another time, Mr. Cullen." Then she looked past me into the hallway.

That was about when I heard steps coming up the stairs and I pulled away from her to lean into the hallways to see who was coming.

It wasn't who I'd thought and hoped maybe it would fucking be for a minute there.

It was Jasper.

As he rounded the corner and saw me, he stopped and kinda hung back some, not wanting to either interrupt or bother meeting my visitor.

I walked down the hallway a bit to meet him in the middle and he asked "Who's your new friend, dude?" Nodding back behind me.

By the time I turned around, Victoria had slipped into the stair well and the door was already closing.

I didn't turn back to him right away when I answered. "That… is no fucking friend of mine, Jazz."

I felt lost in my thoughts as he waved his hand in front of my face. "Dude, ya with me? I've got a list for ya."

"Huh?" I asked, snapping out of it and turning back to him.

He waved a piece of paper at me. "The list… of women working for fucking Arrow Shipping?"

_Shit, the list._

"Excellent, thanks man." I said absently, taking the sheet of paper from him, walking back into my office.

He followed.

"So, that's not a… 'Cullen Conquest', or anything?" He teased.

I rolled my eyes and laughed through my nose, because seriously, that shit was NOT even funny. "Not even close, man." I said.

Jasper was in a fucking mood or something. I could tell, because he's not usually the chatty type, but today, he fucking was.

"Alice says you and Bella…" He lingered there, giving me the opportunity to finish his though for him.

I could trust Jasper, but if anyone else got wind of who he was, or what he did for me, they might listen in on his life, and find shit out I didn't want them to know.

What?

I'm a classic conspiracy theorist, remember?

"Uh… no." I told him, not looking him in the eyes.

He doesn't talk much, but he does listen, and not just to your words.

"Uh huh." He said, and I could tell he wasn't buying it, but he changed the subject anyway, realizing the conversation wasn't gonna go anywhere.

One the many things I happen to fucking like about the guy.

"So, need any more help? Or…"

"You get anything on the kid yet by any chance?"

He shot his eyebrows up a little and shook his head some. "That's a tough one, dude, not much to go on when all I have is a first name. The only thing I know is that there's no Seth _anyone_ missing in the Maryland, DC and Virginia tri-state area for now."

I figured as much, but it was worth a shot.

"Well, that's three states down… keep checkin'." I told him, and then wrote a check out for what he'd done for me so far and handed it to him.

"So, you and Alice, huh?"

He just smiled and took the check. "Definitely not." He said, looking serious, mocking my answer earlier about The Swan.

"Touché, my friend." I said, and then he took off telling me he'd catch me later.

I thought about texting The Swan again, but figured she'd update me when she was done, so I went back to the Mayor's negatives.

In the dark room, I turned on the red light and pulled out the jug of water I kept to dilute the chemicals with, and poured it into the pan I used to sink the photo paper into.

Mixing it with the chemicals was always a fucking chore, you had to get the mixture just right to get the pics to come out perfectly, and not all god damn grainy and shit.

I'd been doing this long enough to know exactly how many seconds I needed to pour of each of the liquids though, so it didn't take too long.

I let it set for a few minutes and then turned the light off so I could place the neg into the film reel I had. It was already exposed to light, but I wasn't taking any fucking chances with that shit, it was safer to just stick to my same old routine and not jinx myself.

I adjusted the negative into its slot and then turned the reel on, letting it warm up.

Reaching up, I knew exactly where my paper was, and slid a sheet off its pile, then placed it into the solution and let it sit while I got out the clips to hang it for drying when it was done.

I turned the red light's soft hue back on after agitating the solution bucket so the bubbles would rise off of the photo paper, set it up to phase the image onto it, and then hung it out to dry.

Then I waited.

And waited.

It wouldn't take long, but for some fucking reason, today it felt like forever.

There was movement out in the office and I knew it had to fucking be The Swan, since I'd locked the damn front door after Jasper left, and she was the only professional fucking lock picker I knew of around here.

I heard footsteps outside the dark room door and called out. "Don't even think about opening that fucking door, Swan!"

I heard a giggle and smiled, crossing my arms, watching the paper begin to develop an image.

The first thing I started to notice was the look on the Mayor's face as he was being photographed, it was one of shock and I took it in, remembering a similar look on his fucking face the night I'd barged into the conference room he was holding his secret god damn meeting in over at _Beedee's Essum_.

"Surprise, ass-fuck." I whispered, as I started to pay attention to the other images beginning to form.

Lauren's smiling face as she'd giggled that day.

I paid close attention to her eyes.

"Huh…" I said to myself.

_She did have two different colored eyes. _

More images appeared.

The Mayor's jacket, flung over a chair in back of them.

A pile of papers on the bed, barely visible. I probably wouldn't get a good look at anything that might have been written on them.

Lauren must have been getting information from him, or interviewing him about something in between fucks.

I went back to the jacket though, because there was something sticking out of his front pocket.

I got up and grabbed the magnifying glass off of the wall and put it up to the piece of paper.

"No shit." I mumbled.

"Cullen? You gonna be long?" The Swan asked, and I could hear her sitting down at my desk.

I lowered the magnifying glass, and sat there, stone cold fucking floored for a minute.

The Mayor was purchasing guns?

What? Was he buying an army or something?

The receipt wasn't the only thing that bothered me though. I needed to fucking find out why he'd have a piece of paper with The Swan's god damn name on it, BEFORE I'd found him there with Lauren?

I'm not a big fucking fan of things not adding up.

"Cullen?" She called out again.

I cleared my throat. "In a minute, Swan."

I typically know what the fuck to do, I don't think about shit, I just let my gut lead me.

But this.

I was having an episode of the god damn Twilight Zone and I didn't know how to get back to reality all of a sudden.

_Tell her, and you could be opening up a can of worms that doesn't fucking taste right, Cullen._

She was right outside the door now, speaking softly. "Everything okay?"

_Don't tell her and you'll just fucking wonder._

"It's all good, Swan. Gimme one sec."

I pulled the negative out of the reel and turned the red light off, then put all my shit away and flicked the lights on.

The smart thing to do would be to tell her. I read people easily, so I'd know right away if she'd been playing me.

The question was, did I wanna know the fucking answer to that question?

_Not now._

I could just file it away, and see how things played out.

Plus, I wasn't willing to admit I'd been a fucking pansy. For the time being anyway.

I opened the door and smiled. "How'd you're meeting go?" I asked her.

She looked at me funny as I passed her, reaching out to touch me, but I was too far out of reach too soon, and she missed me by mere centi-fucking-meters.

_Thank god._

I didn't need those god damn annoying ass electric fucking currents running through me while I'm trying to sort my trust issues out.

I walked over to the door to my office and made sure it was shut, then locked it again, shaking my head at how easily she'd penetrated my bat cave, so to speak.

Then I laughed at myself for the fucking comparison of myself to the god damn bat man.

I mean, Jesus, nobody compares to that guy.

"Something wrong?" She asked me, the cute fucking crease in between her eyebrows deepening as she said it.

I flipped through the mail absentmindedly, refusing to make eye contact. "Nothing, why?"

I felt her walking toward me, then she put her hand on my arm. "I guess because you're avoiding looking me in the eyes, Edward. What's wrong."

Damn, she pulled the fucking Edward card.

"That's reserved for the bedroom only, Swan. Remember? Not work."

_Or for when you're trying to fuck with me._

She turned me and said "Or when you're being an idiot."

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

_To share, or not to share… _

She kept staring at me, waiting, wanting something from me that I didn't really fucking know if I could give her or not.

The eyes say it all, ladies and gentlemen.

_Shit._

"You need to see something." I said to her, and then walked back over to the dark room, went in and pulled the photo off of its hangar. When I turned around to go back out into the main area to show her what I'd seen, she was standing right in front of me, closing the door.

The last thing I saw before the door clicked shut was The Swan's eyes. She was looking up at me from under her 'fuck me right here and now' lashes with the hint of a smile on her lips.

It was pitch black, and I couldn't even fucking see her face very well, but I could feel her.

Her hot breath reached out and fell on my neck like fucking fire.

"Swan…"

"Later, Edward." She said, unbuttoning the shirt I'd just put on a little while ago, letting her lips trail up my chest.

I couldn't fucking push her away, even though I wanted to. I couldn't do anything but put my hands on either side of her face, and pull her lips to mine as I backed up against the table and leaned against it, she lifted herself up onto her tip toes and deepened the kiss, pushing her tongue against my lips, requesting the fucking access that would do me in.

I let her in, because there was just no fucking way I could restrain my god damn self around her for some reason, seeing as Eddy Jr. was already hard and ready for an extension of our fuck fest from that morning.

Maybe she knew that, maybe that was part of the fucking game.

_Was it a game? _

Shit, it was quite fucking possible that The Swan was red Ferrari driver.

Her hands tucked themselves into the hem of my jeans, wanting them gone, and I fucking wanted them gone.

_Shit._

It certainly wasn't her the night of Alice's show, we'd followed the car to Arrow Shipping together, so she wasn't the driver then.

I picked her up by the waist and turned around, setting her on the table.

_She could have a partner._

It was possible. And I was all about the fucking possibilities being key to solving cases.

She unbuttoned my jeans and I said "You never answered my question, Swan." As I kissed and nibbled her neck, while her breathing hitched and she tilted her head some, to give me a better angle.

"Went… great." She answered, sliding her hand inside my jeans. "Mmmmmm, Jesus Cullen, you went commando. I like it."

She let out a chuckle as her hand wrapped around my dick and her lips kissed my jaw.

I had to put my head against her shoulder for a minute, letting the goose bumps subside, resisting the urge to buck my hips into her hand.

I had to admit, it was more likely that the fucking Mayor was the one playing HER, than it was HER playing ME.

"What does 'great' mean, Swan." I asked, gaining a tad bit of fucking composure, letting my hand glide its way up her shirt, to tease her nipples with my thumb through the flimsy fucking bra she still had on that the B fucking FF had picked out for her.

"Well…" She stammered, sucking in a breath, arching her back into my hand and stroking Eddy Jr. which made him all kinds of fucking happy. "I went fishing for how Muldoon felt about you." She finished, which got my fucking attention.

"And…" I prodded, sucking an ear lobe into my mouth, pinching her nipple a little.

She hissed before saying "He thinks you're an asshole." She whispered, her thumb rubbing the pre-cum around the tip of my dick, and my eyes closed tight, instinctively, and this time I did grind into her hand from the feel of it.

I was fucking losing it.

Moving her hair out of my way, I bit down on her neck and she growled. "Anything else?" I asked, because it wasn't like it was new god damn news that the Lieutenant thought I was a fucking asshole.

"MMmmm Hmmmm." Was all she could get out as I licked the spot I'd just bitten.

She was tugging at my jeans, trying to lower them and I was about ready to just fucking do it for her as I pushed her for more info. "Tell me." I whispered into her ear, grasping her bra straps to pull that fucker off of her once and for all.

I'd been wanting to do that shit ever since she'd put it on that morning.

"And I have a date with Newton." She said, her free hand making its way around to my back, feeling the gun there and stopping.

I suddenly stopped too.

"What?" I asked, pulling away. I could barely see her there in the dark, but her eyes were glistening, looking up at me with… shit I couldn't tell in the god damn dark.

"I…" She pulled her shirt back up over her shoulders that I'd moved. "You what?"

"Have a date with…" she cleared her throat. "Newton."

_What. The. Fuck?_

"He asked me to go to Emmett's promotion party with him. I said yes."

I started buttoning my shirt back up and turned the light on, pulling the door open angrily and she followed me out, fixing herself as she did.

"Cullen, I'm not dating him because I _like_ the guy."

_No, of course not._

I started rifling through my shit, trying to get myself together and she stopped me.

"Listen, this makes sense, he thinks I hate you, right? Like the Mayor? He WORKS for the Mayor? I DATE him, I get INFORMATION from him? Aren't you following this? It's right up your alley." She laughed.

I slammed a file down that I'd absently picked up and said "Yeah, Swan, right up MY alley, not YOURs. You're…"

Now she was starting to scowl and I knew I had to say the right thing here or she'd leave, and then I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on her.

"Green."

Her hands flew to her hips and she leaned her weight to one side like she did whenever she was waiting for the rest of my idiotic babble-fuckery to continue.

"Listen, I don't mean, you don't know what you're doing, I just mean, that…"

Fuck, I was pretty much screwed no matter what I said here.

"You don't think I can take care of myself."

_Exactly._

"No…" I said, laughing. "I didn't say that, it's just…"

_Jesus fuck why was it so god damn hard to find the right shit to say with her?_

I breathed out and put my hands in front of me in a very non-threatening sort of way.

"These guys are really fucking dangerous Swan, this isn't some punk gang banger who didn't see you coming."

She pushed her sleeves up and narrowed her eyes at me.

"That's it." She said "Let's go." Then she waved her hands for me to come at her and I laughed even harder that time.

"Swan, don't be ridiculous, I'm a fucking black belt."

"Oh yeah?" She said, starting to bounce a little, getting warmed up. "We'll I'm an expert level kick boxer, Cullen, let's see who's toughest."

She wasn't serious.

Right?

I mean, I could really hurt her.

I blew her the fuck off and turned to look through the rest of my mail. "Settle down, Swan, okay? You can take care of yourself, just not with someone like…"

And then I felt a foot kick me right in my hip.

I fell forward some, but I bounced back pretty fucking quickly, and looked at her like she was nuts, but fuck, if she wanted to go, we were gonna go.

"Alright Swan, but when you're bleeding, I don't want a house call from Charlie."

I tossed the mail down onto my desk and got into a defensive stance, wondering what the fuck kick boxing was gonna bring me, and how I was gonna get outta this without hurting The Swan, or myself.

She swung at me again with her leg, but I batted it away pretty fucking easily. She was feeling me out, trying to get a grip on what she was dealing with, and I couldn't blame her, I was motherfucking lethal when I wanted to be.

She smiled from behind her fists that were up in front of her face protectively and I said "You know, Newton's not a fucking black belt, but he's brown level, and he might be an ass-hat, but he's also fucking sneaky as shit."

I front jabbed at her and she blocked me, rolling her eyes.

"I'm fairly certain I can take him if the need arises." She said.

"You sure?" I asked her, keeping eye contact while I flew my hand across and down to back hand her in the gut and she winced, leaning forward a little. "He'll be looking you in the eye saying one thing, while he's planning a whole other scenario in his head."

"Well," She choked out, and leaned her hand against her thigh for just a second before coming back up and upper cut my ass in the chin. "Maybe I will be too, then."

"Shit, Swan. That almost hurt." I told her, rubbing it out, even though in reality, it really did fucking hurt. A lot.

But you just don't fucking tell a woman that.

Sorry.

She was bouncing again and I told her "What if there's no room for bouncing?" As I started crowding her, elbowing her in the ribs.

The hand opposite that side of her came up and out of fucking nowhere, she palm fisted me into the chest.

I had to put a hand to that one, there was no fucking hiding that she's got me good that time.

"Fuck." I coughed.

She smirked and said "I don't need bouncing room, Cullen."

That's when I decided okay, enough of this playing nice shit, and bent down to sweep her feet, knocking her right on her ever lovin' ass.

I laughed, looking down at her and offered a hand to help her get up "And he won't be that easy on you, Swan."

She blew the bangs out of her eyes and took my hand, getting up with her bruised ego.

Just as I was smirking and getting ready to go get her some ice, I noticed the blur I saw coming and barely had time to react when she clocked me.

Right in the god damn jaw.

I'd like to say I took it like a man, stood up against that shit, and shook it off.

But unless landing flat on your back and seeing stars constitutes a fucking man, I've got nothin'.

I reached for my chin and felt it to make sure she hadn't fucking broken anything and tried to open my eyes as she leaned over me, but things were a little blurry.

The fucking Swan's got a right hook like a motherfucker.

"I think I've got this covered, Cullen… but thanks for the tips." She said, winking at me as she grabbed her things and opened the damn door.

"See ya at the party." She said, and then she was gone.

"Jesus." I muttered to myself as I sat up. That shit hurt. I mean fuck, where did that kinda fucking power have any business coming out of her?

I laid there for a minute, and threw my hands over my face, laughing, because only fucking I, could go directly from almost having fucking hot dark room sex with The Swan, to getting decked in less god damn time than it takes to say "I'm a fuck up."

I grabbed the edge of my desk to help myself up and then closed and locked the door before going over to the window to watch her go.

The Ferrari was gone now.

_Of course._

The Swan shook her head angrily as she got into the truck, but never looked up toward my building. I didn't really expect her to though.

A quiet laugh escaped me when it took a few minutes for the piece of shit truck to start up for her.

I raked my hands through my hair as I went to my desk and sat down, thinking about how she just had absolutely no god damn idea what she was getting herself into when an email alert caught my attention.

It was from a previous client of mine.

No sooner had I typed back a smart ass reply to her request and started to look over the new case I was supposed to work on with The Swan when I got another one from the same previous, sexy, smart mouthed woman.

_Sweet Tits._

I laughed at her reply to me and typed another quick one back, turning my attention to my case file again.

I pictured her sitting at her computer, scowling as she read it, and sure enough, another one from her popped right up not two fucking minutes after the last one I'd sent.

She seemed fucking out of sorts for her, not her typical "I'm in fucking control of everything" attitude, and mentioned how The Kid needed some help with his little girls 'cunt pickle of a mother' as Sweet Tits put it.

I looked at my watch and wrote her back again, asking for some specifics and she wrote right back telling me what she needed.

Following one last email to her, I shot another one off to The Swan, telling her she was on her own for this case and that I'd be back the next day.

I made one more call to Seth, and left another message, asking him to check in on Pup for me, hoping he'd figure his fucking phone out soon.

Then I pulled my Colt out of my jeans, shoved it into a bag with some clothes from the closet, grabbed my jacket, keys and camera and rushed off to the fucking air port to catch a plane to good old fucking New York City for some intimidation, arrest warrants, and possibly get rid of a royal pain in the Kid's ass once and for all.


	16. Bar Fights & The Brothers Grimm

**A/N: Chappy song = The Boys are Back in Town by Thin Lizzy

* * *

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**Chapter 15 ~ "Bar Fights & The Brothers Grimm"**

**Part 1. THE SWAN**

_Three hours._

Three long, grueling, painful hours since I'd gotten home and read Cullen's email saying he was going "out of town" and I'd be on my own for this _stupid_ case, and he STILL hasn't responded to my text asking him what the fuck that was all about.

I mean, would it KILL HIM to fucking text me back and say, I don't know… "I'm okay" or… "I'm fucking pissed at you" or… _SOME_thing?

It's not like we didn't have a case sitting in our laps or anything… or people who may or may not want to kill us lurking around.

I rolled my eyes as I scanned the papers in front of me again.

I managed without him though, I'm not _completely_ useless.

_Contrary to popular god damn belief._

The Pawn Shop wasn't as scary as I thought it would be either, because even though being the only woman there, without a mustache anyway, was a little daunting, I made sure the pricks that ran the shop saw my gun, and was literally in and out of there within a half hour.

I was given the tapes to the stores video system, employee files, schedules and background checks that had been conducted and felt pretty confident I would wrap the case up by the next day.

I was kinda glad I had this thing to work on, actually.

Quite honestly, it was the only thing keeping me from completely losing it. I had no idea where Cullen was, or… what he was doing… or WHO he was doing for that matter... I mean, why would he suddenly need to leave town like that?

_GOD_. I was so frustrated.

I checked my phone again.

Nothing.

I leaned my elbows on my desk and put my head in my hands, bouncing my foot, and then decided I'd had it. I needed a workout or something to get all this pent up… who knows _what_ out of my system.

I looked at my watch, then back to the paperwork in front of me and let out a sigh.

I really needed to get this case finished so I didn't catch any crap from Cullen when… IF he got back.

Once I reviewed the store tapes for the tenth time that night, I noticed some irregularities in one of the employees work schedule and when he showed up at the store. I compared that to the inventory listing sign out sheets and bingo, I had this one in my back pocket.

I called the store owner first and informed him that he might wanna have a discussion with the guy I suspected, and didn't get a very good feeling about said employee's fate by the time I got off the phone with the owner.

Then I called Muldoon and told him the case was done and that he might wanna make a stop over at the Pawn shop.

Just in case.

He asked me about my intentions with regards to Emmett's promotion party the following night and I told him what I thought he wanted to hear, then we hung up.

I debated skipping the gym for a good kick boxing class and just heading to the Ram's Head with Alice or Rose maybe, but that idea was quickly squashed when I called Alice, only to find out that she was… indisposed at Jaspers for the night, and then Rose told me that she and Em were celebrating in their own special way all by themselves tonight, before his promotion party tomorrow.

I sighed again.

"It's a sign." I said, and then headed off to get a work out in.

When I finished up and headed home, I thought maybe I was being followed, but the car I thought was tailing me turned off at the last minute.

Then a suspicious looking man, who I hadn't seen in my building before, followed me into the elevator, and he made me kinda nervous the way he was looking at me from the corner of his eye, but then he got off on the floor before mine.

"You're hanging out with Cullen waaaaaaay too much, Swan." I whispered to myself as my eyebrows raised to new heights at my own paranoia.

I was putting the key into my door as I heard footsteps creeping up behind me and I positioned my key in between my index and middle fingers like a knife and spun around, ready to stab a fucking asshole when I gasped in surprise.

"Fuck!" I breathed out and my visitor laughed at me, truly amused that he'd just scared the living shit out of me.

_Idiot._

"Mike." I said, still a little out of breath. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled a crooked smile at me and I had to narrow my eyes at him. If I hadn't known what a complete ass-hat he was, I might have thought he was good looking.

That thought alone gave me the willies.

"And how did you know where I live anyway?" I asked him, knowing for sure I hadn't given him my address when we'd spoken about our "date" for tomorrow night.

His smile grew, amused with himself, and with me maybe. "I have my connections." He said teasingly, leaning up against the wall next to my door.

_Stalker much? _

Wait till Cullen got a load of THAT.

I had to fight the urge to make a completely disgusted look at him, and suddenly I didn't want to open the door in to my apartment, getting the feeling he'd want me to invite him in.

Or maybe he'd just invite him SELF in.

"Well, what can I do for you, officer?" I asked seductively, moving into my undercover mission mode, smiling at him.

His eyes roamed over me, down to my legs and up again until they met mine. I could tell what was on his mind. But that was most definitely… NOT happening.

_Not in this fucking lifetime._

My phone buzzed and I cursed Cullen for his timing, ignoring it.

"You gonna get that?" Mike asked, and I laughed it off. "Whoever it is, can't be as important as you."

_Gag. _

_Me._

He seemed to like that, and moved a little closer. "Well then, why don't we move this into your apartment?" He asked, taking a hand and letting his finger lightly trail up my arm.

_Please don't make me break your hand and ruin this._

"I… actually…" I swallowed. "…just remembered, I was supposed to meet someone at the Ram's Head, so…" I started walking back down the hallway to the elevators and he followed.

_PLEASE take a hint, stupid person._

"Hey, that's cool, I'll join ya!"

_Of course you will._

"Um… I don't think…"

"Ah, come on." He put his arm around me and did that mock punch in the chin thing guys think is so cute but really you just wanna fucking knee them in the balls. "I'll buy you a drank." He said with a purposeful southern twang and I actually had to laugh, despite the fact that I indeed, wanted to knee him in the balls.

I shook my head, there really didn't seem to be any way out of this.

"Okay," I pointed to him. "One… _drank_… then you're leaving."

I kinda felt like I was doing the right thing, but then I wasn't sure this was very smart, and I felt myself thinking, _What would Cullen do?_

Then I laughed, because by now, Cullen would have decked him.

Mike asked "What's funny babe?"

I kept the smile, trying not to gouge his eyes out for calling me 'babe'. "Nothing, it's just… you're so different from Cullen."

"Please." He said, rolling his eyes. "Cullen can't handle this." And he waved his hand up and down and in a circle in front of him.

I pursed my lips, trying really hard not to laugh, but seriously, he didn't really think he compared to Cullen, did he?

We walked to the Ram's Head, it wasn't so bad out that I wanted to get into a car with this guy, and when we got there, it was really crowded, but Mike found us a table somehow anyway. He put a piece of paper or something down on the table top and then we made our way over to the bar to get some drinks.

I was unbelievably enjoying myself, even laughing some, when I was taken aback as we ran into Emmett and Rose. Turns out I guess, that the Ram's Head was where they were starting their "alone" night out, for drinks.

"Bells?" Emmett looked, surprised. I was fairly certain Cullen wouldn't have mentioned anything about my plans to Emmett before he'd headed out of town, if he'd even seen or talked to him for that matter.

I laughed a little nervously and Rose eyed me, then Mike, then me again, and arched an eyebrow.

"Hey guys." Was all I gave them.

Mike nodded curtly to Em and said "Cullen." To which Em replied "Newton." Then he turned to me again "So…"

I cut him off. "Your brother's an ass, you know that, right?" I asked, hoping to divert his attention from asking me anything about running into each other at Cullen's apartment that very morning.

He laughed. "Well, duh, but that doesn't explain why…"

This time, Rose came to my rescue. Thank god SOMEone was catching on.

Seriously, and these men call themselves cops?

She linked her arm in his and said "Em, you're being rude, clearly Bella's on a date." She made a look at Mike and then winked at me.

Yes, Rose is a smart cookie. I love her.

Mike cozied up to me but I made sure to clarify about the whole thing, even though I'm pretty sure no one heard me. "It's not a date."

"Rosey…" Emmett whined. "I don't get to see Bells that much…"

She rolled her eyes. "Poor baby, and I'm sure Bella is just all broken up about that, aren't you, Bella?" She asked me.

_Way to put me on the spot, Rose._

I just smiled and shrugged… that was the safest thing to do.

Rose pulled him away and he waved as they left the bar, saying something, but I couldn't quite understand him over the crowd, then Mike asked "How do you know Emmett so well?"

"Oh, we got to talking a few times on some cases, that's all, you know… he's nice."

He snorted. "He's a fucking idiot, if ya ask me."

There's that incredible urge to knee him in the balls again.

"What do you like to drink?" He asked before I'd gotten the chance to tell him he was an ass, waving Dimitri over to us, and I couldn't help but remember when Cullen had my drink down pat at the event that the Mayor had thrown for us after only hearing me order it once.

Clearly this guy pays no attention to anything but himself.

"Margarita, on the rocks, no salt. D knows." I told him and he shrugged, turned back to Demitri and said "Margarita for the lady."

D scowled at him and then nodded and winked at me, letting me know silently that he'd take care of me even if my date wouldn't and I suppressed the urge to tell him we weren't really there "together".

I really needed that margarita by the time we'd gotten back to the table.

Mike excused himself to go play with his fellow officer buddies and I grabbed my hair in both of my hands on either side of my head, screaming inside my own mind at this shit.

Then I remembered my phone going off earlier and I checked it.

It had been a text from Cullen and part of me relaxed, feeling like he was right there with me. He was finally replying to my text from earlier asking where the hell he'd gone off to.

All he'd said was: _"personal favor, be back tomorrow, my jaw hurts like a motherfucker btw."_

I smiled.

_Good._

Part of me wondered who this personal favor was for, but I didn't really have time to worry about it, so I drank my margarita down in one big long gulp and put on my flirty face for Newton as he came back to the table, laughing his ass off.

I kinda had to smile at the guy, he wasn't all pent up and stressed out like Cullen was.

He just seemed so… happy.

"What?" He asked me as he slid into the booth and took a drink of his beer.

I wondered why he'd asked me that until I realized how I was looking at him and snapped out of my stupor.

"Nothing, so…" I started, hoping to figure out some key information. "What exactly is your beef with the Cullen brothers anyway?"

He waved me off and shrugged. "It's really not Emmett as much as it is Edward." He rolled his eyes. "The guy is a fucking lunatic. Did you know he decked his training sergeant in the Academy once?" He shook his head. "I still can't believe they didn't kick him out for that shit."

Let's face it, this didn't really surprise me, but I really wanted to know what the hell happened back then anyway, maybe it would help with the whole Jessica situation.

"Really." I laughed. "Why?"

He looked away for a second or two, like he was thinking about whether or not he should tell me. Like maybe he wasn't supposed to talk about it or something.

_Interesting._

I reached across the table and put my hands on top of his, and threw up in my mouth a little.

_Always do everything you can to try and make your subject comfortable._

They were cold and calloused. Not like Cullens.

It wasn't even like Cullen's hands _weren't_ cold or calloused, but that they were strong and inviting also. Hands you certainly don't mind being placed on you in all the right spots along your body… or in your…

Anyway.

My point is, Mike's hands weren't like Cullens.

He looked back over at me and seemed like he'd gotten a whole lot more serious than he was just a few seconds before. Something in his eyes, I think it was… fear.

"Cullen's got an imagination is all, he was under the impression the Sergeant was taking advantage of a friend of his… you know… in a physical sense."

I could immediately feel the crease between my eyes begin to deepen and it almost hurt.

"Well, why would he have been under that impression?" I asked him harshly, somehow knowing he was referring to Jess and waiting impatiently for the old 'you know she wanted it' routine so I could finally deck him once and for all.

Then knee him in the balls.

He shook his head. "Nobody really knows, he supposedly walked in on something, but even Je…" He stopped himself from saying her name for some reason. "Even the girl said it wasn't what he'd thought it was. The Sergeant refused to teach any class Cullen attended after that, and Cullen was labeled the Academy's _psycho_."

He took another swig of his beer and emptied it.

_Damn._

I couldn't let him leave yet, so I asked "Want another?"

He smiled "Thought I was outta here after one… where's your friend anyway?"

He knew I'd been lying, I don't know why he felt the need to ask me. I just shrugged and tried to look innocent.

He stood up and grabbed my empty glass and walked over to the bar to get me another and I took that opportunity to try and think.

I couldn't even begin to imagine why Jess would say that nothing had happened if it had, but better yet, why wouldn't they have just thrown him out after something like that?

I can't imagine it was anything like playing favorites or anything; the Cullens didn't seem like the sort to play that game.

I tried to make a mental note that I wouldn't forget tomorrow and pulled my phone out to text Cullen again but Mike made it back to the table too fast, so I put it away.

"Round two's on you."

_Of course. Cheap fucker._

I took the Margarita and held it up to him cheerfully then took another sip.

God I love Margaritas.

The rest of the night felt like a cage match of some sort.

I'd try to steer the conversation nonchalantly toward the Cullen situation back at the Academy, and he kept telling me stale jokes and refilling my Margarita glass for me.

It really wasn't all _that bad_, ya know. Mike's not a complete asshole.

I mean, he's finny, I mean funny... sometimes anyway, and he isn't always _scowling_ at everyone that passes by us.

I mean what's with that, anyway?

I got a few niblets of inflammation, I mean, _information_. I laughed… _inflammation…_ from Newton and by the time I was oh, four, maybe seven Margaritas into the evening, I was feelin' pretty damn good about my progress.

He was looking at me funny toward the end of Margarita number seven, eight… who's counting? And I shook my head at him.

"What?" He asked drunkenly.

"You … men, and your…" I waved my hand around and he laughed.

"You're so drunk." He said.

"You're point being?" I asked him, rolling my eyes, trying to be serious, but I'm sure it came out sloppily.

"Maybe I should… get you home." He suggested, but I stood up, and started to take my wallet out to pay for my half of the drinks. "I don't think so, Officer Newton."

He got up too, "Come on, Bella." He leaned into my ear to say something and trailed the back of his fingers trail up and down my arm and even drunk, my hand was pretty fucking fast to stop him from continuing _that_ craziness.

He stood there, stone cold for a second and then pulled away, thinking better of whatever move he had been about to make and I was glad I didn't have to make a scene right there in the middle of the Ram's Head.

That would be bad.

"I'm just sayin'," He started and I raised a very drunken eyebrow at him, smirking.

He laughed. "Let me walk you home, Bella. It's late, and you don't know what kind of sickos are out there this time of night."

_Didn't I?_

"Don't I?" I asked him with a tiny slur. "I believe I'm standing right next to one of them."

Oh. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

But at that comment, Mike pulled me closer to him and said "Then I better get you outta here, like, now."

I couldn't tell if he REALLY thought I was talking about the other guy that was standing by me, or if he was just kidding, but I found it hilarious, and let him lead me out into the late night sky that was looming over us like a storm was coming.

I couldn't help but think of the parallels that it stood for in real life as well.

The next day I woke up with an absolute screaming head ache.

And I was naked.

_Fuck._

I sat up a little too fast and looked around but there was no Mike.

_God please tell me I didn't do anything stupid last night._

I smelled the sheets, and me, and I smelled like me, I mean, I didn't smell like… sex, so I calmed down a little bit. But it still didn't explain how I'd gotten naked and into bed.

I truly, TRULY hoped I hadn't let him into my apartment, and I sat there, walking myself through the nights events, desperately trying to remember everything.

"Stupid tequila." I said to no one.

Okay, the good news was, I definitely remembered saying good night to Mike outside.

The bad news was, I also remembered drunk-texting Cullen before bed.

I think I said something along the lines of me wanting to feel his long sexy fingers in my…

_Oh man._

**PART 2. CULLEN**

I tried, people.

I swear to fucking god, I tried.

I tried so motherfucking hard I thought I was gonna have an aneurism. But the god damn kid sitting in back of me on the plane kicked my fucking seat one too many times by the time we were making our descent into the BWI airport.

I turned around in my seat, eliciting a look from the stewardess that flirted her ass off with me the entire flight. "Hi." I said to the lady sitting next to the teeny bopper of terror.

She smiled. "Hi."

"Hey, do you think you could tell Jr. there that kicking the very tired, very fucking annoyed guy's seat in front of him is rude?"

The smile fell and she said "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, lady." I told her as I turned to the kid. "It's not smart to fuck with overly irate adults, kid. You might wanna keep your feet to yourself the rest of the flight."

I turned around and tried to make myself fucking comfortable again.

"You should watch your mouth." The woman said, making one of those disgusted noises through her nose that moms like to make when they don't know what the fuck else to say after someone gives them a piece of their mind about their completely misbehaving kid.

She was right though.

I really shouldn't be saying shit like "fuck" in front of her little one.

So I gave her the finger.

And he didn't touch my seat the rest of the way to BWI.

"Home, sweet motherfuckin' home." I said very sarcastically to the living room.

Not even Pup was around, which was weird.

At least till I found the note someone had slipped under my door.

_Seth._

I breathed out a sigh of relief that at least the kid was okay, and not dead somewhere, and that he had indeed come by to make sure Pup was alright.

I pulled my cell out and called him, but got voice mail again.

"Seth, call me." Then added, because it's fucking habit, "It's Edward."

I ended the call and tossed the phone down onto the table in the living room and went to get myself a god damn shower to wash away the fucking day's events and then dressed in an Alice concoction and headed out to praise my brother for a job well fucking done in making his way through the ranks of the ever fucked DC Police Unit he worked for.

As I was headin' out, I noticed the pile of mail Seth had brought by the day before, the thick manila envelope on the bottom, specifically.

I picked it up, letting the rest of the shit fall onto the floor, and sure enough, it was from my DNA testing company.

"Saaa-weet." I whispered as I ripped it open.

As I sat there reading over the results, the crease in my forehead deepened and I rubbed it out. The only thing they could really fucking tell me was that the skin samples I'd sent them from underneath the fingernails of Lauren's dead body did NOT match those of the Mayor's wife.

I smiled.

"The shit storm is a brewin', Mayor." Then I started singin' softly to myself as I left, the catchy fucking tune I always sang when I was getting close to takin' someone the fuck down.

"_Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do… watcha gonna do when I come for you…"_

What?

Will Smith was fuckin' on top of his game in that movie.

The ride over to The Ram's Head was quiet. It was the first time in a while I hadn't cranked the music and let myself drown in it.

I needed to fucking think.

I asked myself, if the Mayor's wife wasn't the one who killed Lauren, who would it have been, and made a mental list to myself.

The Mayor, maybe, but he's too high profile, there was no fucking way he'd do it himself.

Muldoon, questionable.

Newton, most assuredly a possi-fucking-bility.

_Aro_…

That was when I was cut off but a fucking semi and had to swerve to keep from running over a god damn group of punkers that were jay fucking walking in the middle of god damn downtown Annapolis.

"Fuck." I breathed out when I finally stopped, 'cause that shit fucking gave me a god damn heart attack.

I sat there for a few minutes waiting for my god damn blood pressure to resume its normalcy, and then I finished the drive over to the Ram's Head.

With the fucking music blaring.

I hate like hell being late for one reason, and one god damn reason only.

_Parking_.

Downtown Annapolis is NOT the most spacious motherfucker around, so if you don't get to the Ram's Head at a good god damn time, you're parking in the fucking boon docks.

And the boon docks, it was.

By the time I'd actually gotten over to the Ram's Head, I was way fucking past fashionably late, and well into looking like a god damn asshole late.

Especially when we're talking about my own brother's promotion party.

I raked my hands through my hair as I entered; scanning the room for The Swan and thought I caught a glimpse of her Auburn hair toward the back.

Right fucking next to Newton's ugly ass.

"Fuck. Here we go, right?"

I let out a sigh, just as I found Emmett, along with Rose, Mom, Alice, Jasper and Dad.

"Lesser of the two evils, Cullen." I whispered, debating which group to hit up first.

_Sorry, Swan, you lose this one._

I made my way over to the bar first, 'cause damn, let's fucking face it, folks, I needed a god damn drink.

It was fucking crowded as shit, but Dimitri saw me and nodded once, then handed me a shot of Patron.

He was about to go back to his other clientele when I slammed that motherfucker and motioned for him to just hand me the god damn bottle, which he did, and then I was off to face the family.

As I was making my way over to them, The Swan happened to be flipping her fucking hair while she was laughing. Actually god damn laughing at something fucking Newton had said, if you can believe that shit. I mean what the fuck could that guy ever say that could be construed as funny?

But I digress.

She made eye contact and my fucking chest burned.

Those fucking eyes of hers, were all… lit up and shit, and I was one angry motherfucker that it wasn't me making them light up like that.

Not to mention the fucking fact that she was wearing the god damn leather tonight.

_Fuck. And me._

Eddy Jr. might need a god damn drink too by the end of the night.

What was I supposed to do, smile back?

_Hey, there, Swan, good to see you're having such a GREAT time with the fucking enemy over there._

Nope, that shit was not gonna happen. So I diverted my eyes and walked up to the lion's den.

"Congrats, Em." I said, tilting my bottle of Patron at him.

Can I just say, that the looks I received at that point were a fucking mixture of "holy shit he showed" from Emmett, "what the fuck was he thinking, wearing THAT?" from Alice, relief from Jasper, and God only knows what the fuck dad was thinking.

_Good stuff._

I was starting to debate joining The Swan after all.

"Eddie! You came, man!" Emmett hugged me tight. He'd clearly already been drinking, so I let the Eddie comment slide by and hugged him half heartedly back.

I was still pissed that he'd scared my one and only employee off the other day.

"Good of you to come, Edward." Dad jibed sarcastically.

"Busy as shit, dad, I don't know what to tell ya, I came because I said I would."

We locked eyes in our typical stare down, me not wanting him to feel like he can push me around anymore, him wanting to intimi-fucking-date me into being courteous and polite.

Mom broke it up by coming over to kiss me on the cheek, and asked "Where's your scarf, Edward, its freezing outside."

_Ah, the scarf._

"Ma, I'm a grown god damn man, I don't do scarves anymore."

"Watch your mouth, Edward." She said curtly, and I immediately regretted my choice of words. "Sorry about the G.D., ma."

She put her hand where she'd just kissed me and smiled. "You need a scarf, Edward. I'll make you another one if you've lost it…" She started, but I cut her off.

"It's at home, ma, settle down, I just forgot it is all."

"Bells!" Emmett boomed and that's when my body started to tense the fuck up. I hadn't even noticed her walk up to the group, which wasn't like me. I usually knew where she was within relation to me at all motherfuckin' times when we were in the same room.

"Congratulations, Em." She said, smiling her big, warm god damn smile at him.

I avoided eye contact, not wanting to know if Newton had joined her or if she was alone. But she hugged him and then walked over to Alice, hugging her and Rose too.

_Alone._

"Hey, Cullen." She said, unsure of how to address me, I guess. Seeing how we weren't in my god damn bed, _unfortunately_.

I nodded. "Swan." As I took another shot of my good friend, Patron. I couldn't help but eye her up and down a couple of times in that fucking outfit, thinking about the text she'd sent me the night before.

"You're not playing around tonight, I see." She said, eying the bottle.

This is where I started noticing the looks again.

Em was standing still, but his eyes were darting from The Swan, to me, then back again. Rose had one eyebrow arched, waiting for the show, Alice was giving me that "please do not say something stupid" look, and Jasper was probably wanting a shot of my tequila.

_Awkward, much?_

Mom and dad excused themselves and I answered The Swan finally.

"I don't do games, Swan, if I did, I'd be on the DCPD," I winked at Em. "Right Em?"

"Don't start Edward." He said, taking a swig of his own alcoholic concoction.

I held a hand up. "Fair enough, we are here to celebrate your… _promotion_ after all." I smirked, thinking about what a fucking joke this shit was. Probably all part of the Mayor's plan to divert attention from himself, anyway.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, bro?" He asked, scowling.

"Ya know what?" I took yet another swig of said Patron. "Nothin', I'm happy for ya, Em." I clapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, will ya? I have a date with a bottle over in that corner right…" I pointed and squinted to the back. "There."

I left the group and made my way to the booth I had my eye on.

I poured another shot and then I was joined by a fuck-beautiful woman who slammed an empty shot glass down onto the table, holding on to it, and arched her perfect fucking eyebrow at me, waiting.

"Don't you have a _date_ somewhere around here waiting for you, Swan?" I asked her, pouring us each a shot.

She looked over her shoulder, then back to me and said "He's quite content with his buddies for now." She threw the shot back like a pro and put it back down.

And fuck if that shit didn't make my dick harder than…

Fuck, does it really matter? I was god damn hard for the woman.

"You gonna tell me why you left like that?" She asked me.

I poured another shot for each of us.

"Nope." I said, putting the shot up to my mouth, tilting my head back and letting the clear liquor burn.

"Fine." She said. "Then I'm not telling you what I found out last night."

_Touché. _

I didn't have a come back. I just smiled at her. I knew she'd tell me, eventually. She couldn't fucking help herself.

I poured two more shots.

"So, what's with the scarf thing?" She asked, grabbing a handful of pretzels from the bowl on our table, referring to my mom's fucking over obsessing earlier.

I sighed, debating telling her, but fuck it, I figured, why the hell not.

I fingered the shot glass, starting to feel the numbness take over my body, then I poured another one while The Swan let hers sit for a minute.

"When we were kids, ma would knit each of us a god damn scarf every year when winter came. She'd wrap that shit around my neck so motherfucking tight when we went out to play, I thought I was gonna choke to death, and when she'd send us out, she'd always say 'momma can't be there to keep you warm and protect you Edward, so make sure you keep this on.'"

I laughed, remembering that shit and how even back then, I thought it was pretty god damn funny that she thought I couldn't take care of myself.

"I wore the scarf, because ma had gone to the fucking trouble of knitting the god damn thing, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Emmett was the smart one; he'd wear it out but then stuff that shit in his coat pocket before we met up with any of our friends. And no one bugged Alice because she was a girl, and girls were supposed to wear that shit."

_Plus she was a fucking fashion guru, even back then._

"But me?" I frowned hard and shook my head. "No, I was a fucking idiot, I'd wear that motherfucker with pride. And every fucking winter I'd get my ass beat by the dicks we used to hang out with for being a pussy momma's boy, and I'd go home with no scarf and a busted lip."

The Swan drank up her shot and took the bottle from me, pouring herself another, listening intently to the story like I was reciting god damn Gandhi or some shit like that.

I gave her a weird ass look and continued.

"Anyway, ma would ask what happened to it and I'd always make some shit up like, someone else needed one more than me, or it must have fallen off while we were playing. Then I'd get sent to my room with no dinner for losing the motherfucking scarf."

I took my next shot.

"Double whammy, every god damn year."

She was leaning her elbow on the table now, holding her head in her hand.

"So when I was about to graduate from the academy, she gives me this box, and there's a motherfucking scarf that she's knitted for me, just like the ones she used to make me when we were kids, there's a note in the box that says 'because I won't be there to keep you warm and protected'."

Bella's eyes were welling up, and a tiny tear escaped one of her eyes, falling down the side of her face.

I breathed out, and stared over at my mom. She was laughing at something Carlisle had just said.

My eyes were stinging, and I don't do stinging eyes. _Ever_. So I slammed another shot of the Patron and shook that shit off.

"The irony here being, that I do the protecting now… and nobody's kicked my ass in a long motherfucking time."

"And you miss your family."

I laughed through my nose as I drank down another fucking shot. "Maybe. Maybe I just miss what I thought I fucking had at one point."

The Swan was quiet, and I wondered what the fuck question was gonna come out of her mouth next. Because, come on, this is the god damn Swan we're talking about here.

I looked around us, specifically for Newton, who was still gabbing his ass fuck mouth off with his buddies, and I had an idea.

Narrowing my eyes back at The Swan, who was biting her lip now, eyeballin' me right back, I knew it was a great motherfucking idea.

"Wanna cut out with me for a few?" I asked her, nodding to the back door that I knew led to an alleyway behind the bar.

She turned to look and see where I was motioning toward and saw the door, then she looked back at me and scowled, questioning my fuck awesome idea.

I smiled and took her hand, and the bottle of Patron, and pulled her up, leading us to the back exit.

"Cullen…"

"Shut it, Swan, trust me…"

She followed, 'cause she knows my ass, and that I'm not gonna fucking kill her or anything.

When we got outside into the cold ass night air and the door slammed shut behind us, I had a flash back of the Mayor's celebra-fuckery and smiled as I took in a nice long deep breath of freezing air, then I turned around to face her.

"What are we…?" she started, but by then, I'd already pushed her up against the brick wall.

"You might be here with him tonight, Swan," I began, holding her pinned against the wall, looking at her with a little bit of fucking annoyance. "But you'll be thinking about my hands on you," I kissed her. "…in you," I moved my mouth to her neck and bit down a little. "…and you're gonna remember that I'm the one that makes you cum like there's no god damn tomorrow."

I kissed her hard as hell on the mouth again and slid my tongue in, where hers met mine with open fucking arms.

I brought my free hand up to her neck and slid it around to grasp her hair, pulling her into the kiss more and she fucking let me, grabbing at my jeans to un-do me.

In so many fucking more ways than one.

"MMm, I missed you." She groaned against my lips, and I pulled back long enough to take a drink from the bottle of Patron.

We were almost fucking out, and she looked god damn thirsty, so I put the bottle up to her lips and tilted it to her to let her take a drink.

She let it fall into her mouth, and locked eyes with me as she drank the remaining bit that was left and I let the bottle lower, looking into her eyes.

"You might wanna put that down, Cullen. You're gonna need those fingers." She smirked, and I tossed the fucking bottle into the trash.

Because she was motherfuckin' right about that shit.

I kissed her again, letting my newly freed hand find the zipper to the leather jacket and slid it down, exposing the matching lace bra underneath and I fucking hissed, because god damn if I didn't wanna throw her over my fucking shoulder and take her home right then and there and go all kinds of fucking cave man on her ass again.

"Tell me you didn't wear that shit for Newton, Swan." I said, letting my thumb skim underneath the bottom of it.

Her eyes closed, letting me roam over her breasts with my hands softly, causing goose bumps to form wherever the fuck I touched her.

_Motherfuckin' A._

"Newton thinks it's for him, that's what's important." She whispered, unbuttoning my jeans.

I grabbed her by the wrist and stopped her though, I wasn't the one that needed to remember who I was really fucking with that night.

_She was._

Her eyes opened and she looked a little disappointed if ya ask me, but I smiled at her and wrapped my hands around her waist, and began unzipping the leather pants in the back.

"Not the most convenient fucking outfit to wear for this, Swan." I said to her. "But I'll make god damn due."

I kissed her neck as my hand made its way inside the hem of her pants and glided around to the front to find her…

_Fuck yes._

"Jesus fucking Christ, Swan…" I rasped into her ear. I was feelin' the tequila, and that mixed with the hot wet goodness of the Swan's core was making me fucking lose my shit.

Her breathing sped up a little and she was shifting in her stance to try and make things a little easier on me.

Clearly she missed said fingers as much as they missed her fucking pussy.

As I dipped them deeply into her, I kissed her, with my hand wrapped, not too fucking forcefully, but not too god damn softly either, around her neck, letting my thumb rub her jaw.

Her hands found a new home in my hair, tugging at it a little to fucking hard if ya ask me, but I gave her a god damn break, because I knew she was just getting off on the finger fuck.

"Mmmmph." I moaned out into her mouth, because the further my fingers went, the wetter she got, and the more she grinded, which fuking made Eddy Jr. as hard as a god damn diamond.

But we didn't have time for that shit.

I twisted and curled and thrusted my fucking fingers and watched her face as she enjoyed the ride.

"Who are you here with, Swan?" I asked her.

"You." She breathed out.

"Who are you fucking the shit out of later?"

"Only you."

"God damn right." I told her, kissing her lips, her neck, her chest, even taking her nipples into my anxious god damn mouth at times, and she would let out these little fucking whimpers every once in a while.

"What do you need, Swan. Tell me." I whispered into her ear at one point.

"Don't… stop." She said, out of breath and shutting her eyes tight. "Please don't stop."

"Don't stop what?" I asked her.

Fuck I thought I'd cum just from listening to her talk like that.

"Don't stop wanting me." She said, and I felt something, weird. Because fucking honestly, it hadn't even crossed my mind that that was even a god damn possibility.

Not wanting her, or… fuck, needing her.

How was she so fucking stupid sometimes?

I laughed. "Swan, fuck, that's not gonna happen." I said, starting to rub on her clit with my thumb, pushing into it hard, and begging her "Cum for me."

"Shit." She said finally, and I knew we were close.

"Someone could come through that door any second, Swan…" I told her, and her breathing was getting erratic. "Maybe even Newton." I added. "You don't want pretty boy to catch you getting finger fucked by the psycho now, do ya?"

"Cullen…. I…"

"Shhhhhh…. We don't wanna blow your cover, baby." I reminded her, kissing softly below her ear lobe, so she wouldn't get all off track from cumming by thinking I was pissed at that shit still.

"Holy…." She breathed out, and I hurried my motions around her clit, while pushing in to her g-spot as hard as I could and finally… "FUCK." She said. "Jesus… Edward."

There it was.

_My fucking name. _

Not Newtons.

"Good girl." I told her as she came down off of her high and I pulled my fingers out from her leather fuck me pants, breathing pretty god damn heavy myself.

I dipped my head into her shoulder and slinked my hands around to the back of her again, zipping her up again, then kissed her shoulder and pulled back, putting her jacket back together too.

"I need to go back in before you." I said, and she bit her lip a little. "Yeah, I guess so." She answered.

"Nobody saw us come out together, but if they happen to see us go back in with each other, you're done."

She twisted her mouth. "Cullen…"

I smirked at her. "Later, Swan." I told her. "You just remember, you might leave here with him tonight, but it's my god damn bed you're gonna be in later, got it?"

She nodded and then I kissed her one more time before opening the door up and walking swiftly into the crowded bar, making my way back over to Em and the family, drunk off my ass and feeling really fucking good.

I passed Newton along the way and he stopped me. "Cullen, have you seen Bella?"

Hearing him fucking say her name like that made me wanna deck his ass right then and there.

"Why would I have seen her? She's here with you, isn't she?"

"I thought I saw her talking to you earlier." He said bitterly.

"We're working a fucking case, Newton, I don't have her on a god damn leash or anything." Then I decided to add for show, "That's your job."

I started to walk away, and noticed Em had seen me come back in from the back, then his eyes moved to Newton, noticing the tiny, insignificant confrontation we were having, when I felt Newton's hands on me again, pulling me back into the conversation.

"You don't fucking talk about her like that, Cullen, _understand_?"

Okay, people, now, aside from the fact that it's just all kinds of fucking wrong for him to be talking all defensive and shit about her like that, I have to point out here, that he was fucking touching me, again.

And I did overlook that shit once already.

That's a big motherfucking deal for me.

So I decked him.

Hard.

He fell back against the wall and some of his buddies caught him while I shook my hand out.

"Don't let him fall, guys, you wouldn't want him to hurt his precious ASS." I said snidely.

They set him up straight and Newton came back at me, but then suddenly, two big fucking hands were in between us. One pushed Newton away, the other trapped me against a wall at my neck.

"Get the fuck off, Em… I can…"

"Shut it, Edward, why do you do this man?" He asked me, all up in my fucking face and shit. "Every fucking time I see you around this guy, I have to stop you from doing somethin' stupid."

I pointed at Newton. "He's fucking setting you up, Em, why do you defend his ass!" I spit it out, ready for this shit to happen. I didn't care anymore about what fucking shit storm was gonna be created by my big ass mouth anymore.

Em looked at me questioningly, and Newton was in back of him. He had a very panicked look on his face for a minute there, but then he dove right in with "He's a fucking liar Emmett, you know that." He laughed, like I was a fucking joke or something that they told over and over at the precinct or something and I tried to get out of Emmett's grasp to fucking throttle his ass.

By now The Swan had come back into the bar, and was kinda hanging out on the sidelines, looking horrified that she'd somehow missed this starting and wasn't able to stop it.

I looked back at Em and told him, flat out, "He fucking planted coke in your cruiser, Em, I saw him do it."

"He's LYING! Fuck you Cullen!" Newton screamed out.

Emmett glanced from me, to Newton, and back to me again, and I thought I saw in his eyes disappointment, once again. His brother, the trouble maker.

"Why would you say that, Edward?"

Dad was putting mom's coat on her and they were leaving.

_Nice._

Jazzman was waiting patiently, willing to take down a motherfucker if I needed him to, while Rose and Alice backed off a little, feeling out the situation. Alice had her hand on her phone. Probably getting ready to call 911 to come and break up the fucking POLICE fight that was getting ready to go down.

How god damn ironic.

I had to laugh at that shit.

"I'm not lying Em. He did it." I choked, because by now, he was pushing pretty fucking hard on my throat.

The Swan was taking a few cautious steps toward us, I could see it in her fucking 'take me to bed now and fuck my brains out' eyes, that she wanted to come to my rescue, defend me, tell Em that she'd seen Mike put that coke in his cruiser, but if she wanted to stay undercover with Newton's sorry ass, she couldn't do that.

So I yelled over at her. "What the fuck are you doing in this conversation Swan, nobody's interested in anything you have to say right now."

Her mouth had fallen open, much like she does when she's about to tell me off, and I eyeballed her, egging her on. 'Cause that shit would be perfect.

She didn't get the chance to though, because that's when Newton piped up again.

"You don't fucking talk to her like that, Cullen!" He screamed.

"I'll talk to her any god damn way I please, _Newton_."

Emmett's arm fell away from my neck and for a split second, I wasn't sure what the hell he was gonna do, deck me for talking to the Swan like that, or for being a liar, or what.

"You know how he is, Em." Newton said, blowing me off, and Em looked at me with something along the lines of realization in his eyes.

"Yeah. I do." He said, then he pulled his hand back, balling it into a fist, and clocked Newton right in the fucking mouth.

He went down like a tree.

_Holy fucking shit. _

Em and I looked at each other and I smiled, but before anything could be said, Newton's buddies joined in on the fun and punches were getting thrown left and right.

I barely got a glimpse at Jasper as he said something quickly to Alice and Rose and then he jumped right in, puttin' a hurtin' on a motherfucker for jumpin' on Emmett's back and trying to take him down all dirty and shit.

Nobody can _really_ take Emmett down, except for me that is, they just have to try and wear his ass out by comin' at him in multiples, so I really wasn't worried about him as much as I was worried about me.

Or The Swan, but I couldn't see her in the crowd of fists and feet coming at me.

I took a couple of really good hits but it takes more than a pussy punch to take my ass out, so I gave a few good ones back, throwin' in some god damn front kicks, sidekicks and put an all around motherfuckin' old fashion ass woopin' on those dick fucks.

Newton re-gained consciousness at some point and singled me out, which I was fucking okay with on a monu-fucking-mental scale, and we went at it.

"Time for a lesson in respect, Newton, you don't fucking play the games you're playing and win. Trust me." I said to him, throwing a back fisted punch at him.

He blocked me and turned, coming back around on his other side, attempting a round house kick at my face, but I batted him away like he was a god damn fly.

"You got it wrong, Cullen, you're on the wrong side of this fight, and I'm the guy that's gonna take you down." He threw another punch and I blocked it again, stealing him in his jaw before he could recover from that one.

"Fuck!" He spat out, and managed to somehow come back at me.

"Step. Off." I heard the familiar sexy female voice warn before I saw her, and I turned in mid punch, to see The Swan pointing her fucking gun at me.

_For the second god damn time since I'd met her._

"Swan, what the fuck?"

"Don't make me flatten your ass again, Cullen." She said, holding her stance, narrowing her eyes at me. "You are so god damn cocky, you think everyone is here to just bow down at your greatness, well think… again."

I was gonna ignore that shit and deck Newton anyway but then I heard the gun click and I knew she was prepping to actually god damn shoot my ass.

So I stopped in my tracks, but unfortunately, Newton didn't, and got one last sucker fucking punch in before I heard him say to her "Let's go babe, the Troopers are gonna be here soon, we don't wanna be here when that happens, trust me."

_Babe?_

I felt blood pooling in my mouth and spit it out as I watched the two of them walk out.

His arm was around her waist and she was looking back at me as she put her gun away. I couldn't tell what the look was, I was too busy fighting the fucking head ache that was starting to form on the side of my fucking head.

_No fucking shit._

What the hell was that?

She's what? Buddies with fucking Newton now?

I didn't exactly get the chance to go any further with that train of thought, because even though things were settling down some, the Maryland State Troopers indeed showed the fuck up and started pushing their weight around with all the rowdy DC Metro's.

Jasper was gone, along with Alice, but I was kinda fucking glad to tell you the truth, the last god damn thing I needed was for the Jazzman to get on the books somewhere.

After about a fucking hour of question and answer time with the Troopers, and Emmett smoothing shit over somehow, nobody was arrested and nobody was kicked off the force.

For now.

As the place emptied out, Em and I sat our asses down outside and both fell back onto the sidewalk, just kinda fucking settling the hell down after that shit.

I really don't know how or why, but I was sure as shit that it was all gonna be my fucking fault somehow.

I should be used to that by now.

Right?

And Tanya was gonna eat this right the fuck up. Maybe I'd get brownie points though, since Em and I _were_ on the same side this time.

We lay there, regulating our breathing together, and I finally fucking said it, cause to be honest, my friends, I was motherfucking happy as shit to have the old Em back.

"Welcome back, Em."

He laughed and said "Man, I am so gonna pay for this shit tomorrow."

He sat up and looked over at Rose, who was waiting for him, half annoyed, half turned on, and he asked me "Why didn't you tell me, Edward?"

I knew what he was talkin' about it. The coke Newton had put in his cruiser.

"I didn't think you'd believe me." I said, remaining on my back, staring up at the sky and shit, avoiding his stare. It reminded me of when we were kids and used to camp out in our back yard, and pretend we were lost in the fucking jungle and shit, and had to find our way home using the stars.

Sometimes I fucking wished I could find my way back home.

"Well, are we clear on that subject now, bro?" He asked, and I finally sat up and answered him. "yeah, we're clear."

We fist bumped and he said "Good, 'cause if I have to get into a bar fight every god damn time you need reassurance, I'm not gonna have a job for very long."

"I might be able to get you a job." I laughed. "You could be Seth's gofer."

"Fuck you, Edward." He said, but seriously, I'd help him out, he's my fucking brother.

He left with Rose, and Dimitri was closing up and said goodnight and then suddenly, I was alone.

Yeah, I know, not very motherfucking romantic, right?

I stayed there on the curb for a little bit, with my arms hanging off of my knees, looking around the streets to see if my friend, the red Ferrari was hanging around, but I didn't see her.

"If it's you, Jess, what the fuck are you doing?" I whispered. That shit just didn't add the fuck up. I mean, either she's alive, and harboring ill will toward me for some shit I don't have a clue about, or she's dead, and someone's …

Fucking with me.

_Okay, why would they fuck with me?_

Maybe I'm close to solving Jess's case, maybe they want me to go the fuck insane or something, so I can't out their sorry asses.

The Mayor's personal signature was all over this motherfucker, I just couldn't fucking prove it yet, god damn it.

And _why_, by the way.

What the fuck did he have to do with Arrow Shipping?

I got up and started walking toward the car with a slight gimp in my fucking giddy-up.

"Shhhit." I mumbled, turning my neck and stretching out my arm, rubbin' the shoulder blade with my other hand as I did it.

"Newton's knee deep in this shit, and The fucking Swan is knee deep in…"

I couldn't even say it. I was clear tonight she didn't hate the guy completely. I mean, what the fuck? Where'd all that "don't make me flatten your ass again" shit come from anyway?

I sighed.

Hard.

I let the air leave me completely, and held it there for a minute, almost willing myself to suffocate from the fucking shit piling up around me.

I finally got to the car before I took another breath, and I hit speeds on the way home that I hadn't topped out at in ages, just trying to make the possibilities of what might actually be going on fuck off.

When I made it home in one god damn piece finally, without even getting so much as a dirty look from any cops that might have been lurking around, I found Pup sleeping outside of the front door, and I stooped down to scratch him behind the ears.

He lifted his head for a minute but then put it back down and breathed out a heavy snort.

"You too, huh?" I asked, and then unlocked the door, eying my points of contact that I knew I hadn't bothered with the past couple of days.

I put all my shit down and started thinking out loud again.

"Even if she IS fucking involved, there's no god damn way she's involved knowingly." I said, and I sat down on the couch, pulled out the Taylor and played with the tune I'd been fucking with lately.

A little while later I heard something outside and put the guitar down to go check it out.

When I opened the door to find out what the fuck was up, I stopped short, a little shocked to be honest with you.

Her chocolate god damn brown eyes were looking up at me with that 'I need you so bad I'm gonna lose my shit' look, and I just couldn't be pissed.

The sides of her mouth turned up just fucking slightly and she twisted that perfect fucking mouth of hers as her eyes darted down, then back up to mine again.

What the fuck was I gonna do people? Turn her away?

That shit just wasn't in the cards.

"Anyone follow you?" I asked her.

"Nope." She answered.

I opened the door wide and she walked passed me, through the living room, down the hall.

_To my god damn bed._

I closed the door and locked up, then I followed her.

Because I knew, it didn't really fucking matter to me whether _she _was being played, or if it was her that was playing _me _at this point, I just had to fucking have her.


	17. Sex, Lies & Anger Management

**A/N: Chappy song = Come Together by Joe Cocker**

* * *

**Chapter 16 ~ "Sex, Lies and Anger Management" **

**PART 1. THE SWAN**

_So ridiculous._

"I _wasn't_ gonna shoot you, for crying out loud." I told Cullen as we were standing on opposite sides of his bedroom. He hadn't said a word since letting me into his apartment, and the tension was a little thick, but Hell, he'd let me in, so I had to assume he wasn't THAT mad at me for pulling my gun on him.

It was all for show anyway.

Jeeze.

Didn't he know that?

"Coulda fucking fooled me." He said, removing his shirt harshly, letting it fall to the floor as he laughed sarcastically through his nose and I could feel the sensation in my stomach again from earlier, despite his anger.

Yes, I knew, just on the edge of my thoughts, what was coming next.

_Sex with Cullen._

Orgasms like I never knew before.

_God he looked good in nothing but the jeans._

I couldn't give him the satisfaction though, of knowing he owned me so badly, I needed to give him shit for some reason, and not just… _roll over_ for him to see just exactly what kind of a pull he has on me.

I rolled my eyes, because he really _was_ sensitive sometimes. "Cullen, seriously, stop being such a God damn baby."

As soon as I'd said the word, I cringed, and part of me wished I hadn't said it, but the look in his eyes made it worthwhile. It was… animalistic. And I was kinda glad I'd chosen it.

I tried not to smile.

He stopped what he was doing, which was undressing, damn it, and I second guessed myself for a minute there.

He looked at his wall, scrunching his eyebrows together, like he thought he'd heard something, but it was so ridiculous that it couldn't POSSIBLY have been what he thought he'd heard. Then he looked at me.

"Swan. Did you just fucking call me a god damn baby?" He asked, the crease in between his eyebrows deepening and I stopped undressing too, backing away, eyeballing a way to escape if necessary.

I started to explain, laughing nervously. "Cullen, I'm just saying…"

He started to walk over to me, picking up his Colt off of the dresser on his way.

He fingered it. "_Just saying?_" He eyed it and checked to make sure it was loaded. "Maybe you wouldn't feel that way if the tables were turned, Swan."

I swallowed as he let the gun lower slightly, down to his hip while he closed the gap between us.

I questioned his sanity sometimes.

Truly.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice raising an octave or two.

Maybe three.

"Maybe I need to place you under fucking arrest for illegally pointing a hand gun at a god damn law abiding citizen." He said coldly, as he approached me. I don't know how he always did this to me, made me speechless, but I dug deep, and tried to regulate my breathing, as opposed to begging him to take me however and wherever he wanted.

_At all times._

"I would hardly consider you a law abiding citizen, Cullen." I answered him, arching an eyebrow and trying desperately not to stare at his gun… the one in his hand… or his other gun.

"Yeah?" He asked, smirking just a tad. Enough to get me wet, not enough to get me off.

_Fuck._

Yes. Definitely fuck me.

He pushed the Colt into the back of his jeans for a minute while he grabbed one of my wrists and pushed it behind my back, then the other and held them there tightly, pushing his body up against mine, and both of us up against his wall as he stared intensely into my eyes, like he was debating kissing me, or killing me.

I thought I felt his heart beat.

I was shaking.

A little bit.

"Don't try anything stupid, Cullen, I can still take you if I wanted to." I mustered with a very sad attempt at sounding confident.

I tried to pull out of his grip, but not really.

I liked it when he did this.

"Only one sucker punch per person, Swan. You and Newton have that in common now." He said, and as the name left his lips, I immediately saw poison fill his eyes, like he wanted to hurt someone.

Newton, hopefully.

My top was open and as he held my hands behind me, my chest was forced forward and he took both of my wrists into one hand, while he pulled his Colt out again, then lay it flat in between my breasts, where the little valley meets, watching it the whole time.

And fuck if I wasn't so wet I thought I'd drown the both of us, there in his bedroom, never to be seen again.

I started breathing a little heavier at the anticipation he was building in me. I wished I could read his god damn mind because the look in his eyes was killing me with desire.

He licked his lips as his eyes roamed over to my breast, then pushed the gun under the hem of my bra and pulled it down, exposing my nipple, which was so hard at that point that it hurt.

He pushed the cold steel against the sensitive skin, and I sucked in a breath of air at the shock of the feel of it.

It felt good.

I wanted more of this.

"How do you like it when a gun's being held on _you_, Swan?" He asked, seething.

I opened my mouth to speak but he didn't exactly wait for an answer as he dipped his head down to run his tongue along my breast, taking the nipple into his mouth as I watched him with my mouth falling further open, willing him to bite, just a little…

_YES_.

"MMmmmph." I moaned as my eyes rolled back into my head. It was all I could get out. Then I mumbled something like "Not so bad." And I felt him smile against my skin.

"The things I wanna do to you right now…" He murmured, letting his lips travel up to my neck and I let my head fall back, wanting him to kiss more of me, suck more… bite more.

"What's stopping you?" I asked. My eyes were closed, waiting for him to do things I could only imagine at that point, was making my insides burn.

"What do you want?" He whispered.

He liked me to say it, and for some reason, I liked telling him.

"You, I want you."

His teeth grazed my neck, like he was going to bite down and draw blood at any moment, but he didn't. Instead, his mouth was at my ear next, asking me "You sure it's not Newton you want, Swan? Maybe he could satisfy your finger _fucking_ needs for ya."

The way he said _fucking_… god.

I tensed for a minute, remembering the texts I'd sent him, and then wondering if he was actually considering that I'd prefer that….

"Newton doesn't come anywhere close to what I want…" I told him defensively, and then I played his game right back, by pulling my hands out of his grasp finally, putting one on his dick, rubbing him through his jeans and he moaned out. The other I placed on his shoulder, hitching my leg up over his hip, telling him in his ear, "_Edward_."

"Fuck." He groaned out, his head falling into the nook of my neck and shoulder as he kissed me hard there.

He liked to kiss my shoulder, like it was a message he was sending me or something.

What the message was, I didn't know yet.

"I can't fucking stand the thought of his hands on you, ya know." He finally said. "His arm around your waist…" He stopped at my hip and grasped at the skin there. "Calling you _babe…_"

The venom in his voice was not going to work for me… I needed him sane, so I pulled his face up to look into my eyes.

"I think of nothing but you when he touches me, if I didn't, I couldn't do this." I kissed him, hard, and our tongues met and wrestled while the hand he held the gun in found its way around to my back where his other hand was already holding me tightly around the waist, and he turned us so that he could push me down onto his bed.

Hard.

Once I was on my back, he put the Colt down on the bed next to me, and I eyed it once before looking back up at him. He seemed to be daring me to reach for it, but I didn't, I just waited to see what he was planning next.

"Those need to come the fuck off." He said, nodding at my pants as he pulled the button loose on his jeans and shoved them down and off of himself.

His dick, which he so often had _jovially_ referred to as Eddy Jr, seemed menacing to me now, because Cullen wasn't quite as chatty as he normally was. He seemed, so _angry_… and I wondered what it was that was bothering him so much.

I moved a little slower than I even thought I could have and he told me as he grabbed my legs and pulled me to the edge of the bed roughly, "I said…" He snatched my pants at the waist, lifting me off of the bed a little, and reached behind me to unzip them in the back.

I must have looked like a child, because I felt shocked when he did that, but it didn't phase him whatsoever. "These…" He yanked them down, and they were off of me before I could say _what the fuck,_ and then he finished with "_OFF_."

"Cullen…"

"Shut the fuck up, Swan." He ordered me and he fell onto the bed above me, holding himself up with one hand, and his other immediately went to my folds, and into me, three, fuck, maybe four fingers, as he hovered over me and kissed my jaw, my mouth, my neck, he pushed into me and I gasped in pleasure at the feel of having any part of him inside of me again.

"You always fucking talk…" He kissed me hard against my jaw. "Too…" again, along my neck, just below the back of my ear. "God damn…" he nibbled my earlobe. "Much."

I reached between us to his dick, and he was hard and ready, and I needed to have him in me, desperately. I stroked him and he bucked his hips, but he didn't give in and stop with his fingers.

"God I can't get enough of you." He whispered, almost like he was whispering to himself. "Why can't I ever fucking get enough of you?"

"MMMph!" I moaned out loudly as he curled his fingers around and hit my g-spot.

GOD I loved it when he did that.

"I need you…" I begged him. "Inside of me…." I pleaded. "Please."

He looked me in the eyes, narrowing them at me and pulled his fingers out, then stroked his dick a couple times while he lectured me.

"That's good, Swan, begging is good." He closed his eyes.

"Fuck." He said, seemingly to no one as he opened them again, I thought he was trying to burn a hole into me the way he was looking at me.

"I read people…" he said, lining his dick up with my entrance. "I do it every god damn day." The tip was just inside of me, and I was trying to meet him half way when he stopped.

"For some reason, I just can't fucking read you."

I furrowed my brow. "Cullen, you can trust me." I told him and shook my head. "I wanna bring these guys down just as much as you do. I mean that."

His lips pushed themselves together tightly, like he was trying to convince himself of something, then, abruptly, he lifted us both up, and pushed the sleeves of my top off of me and threw it across the room, turned me around and bent me over.

_Yes._

"Doesn't really fucking matter." He said, almost sounding like he was talking to himself, flicking my bra open at the clasp and letting it fall where it may.

"You wanna be fucked. And fucked you're gonna get."

Shit… had I said that out loud?

I started to sit up, maybe try to talk him down from this… whatever it was, but he took a hand and pushed me back down while his other hand slid in between my legs to test the waters.

_Yes._

_Very wet, Cullen._

_Thank you very much by the way._

The next thing I knew, his dick was in me, hard, and it felt… fucking good.

"Yes." I mumbled.

"Yes, what, Swan. Yes you've got me?" He pushed hard into me again.

"Yes you've turned my fucking _life_ upside down?" Again, another thrust, harder as he held onto my hips and pulled me into him as he crashed against me.

"Yes you're playing my ass like the fucking _idiot_ that I am…" He leaned down and pulled at my hair so he could speak directly into my ear then. "You laughing it up with the god damn Mayor behind closed doors, Swan?"

_The Mayor? _

Harder.

"No." I breathed out. It was all I could say.

"NO _WHAT_." He said it harshly, cold, calculating.

Pushing… harder. Deeper.

"No, I'm not playing you, Edward." I choked.

He pulled me up flush against him then, and sat back onto his heels, spreading his legs at the knees, causing my legs to spread wide open for him and his hand came around to the front of me, and began circling my clit and thrusting his fingers inside as me as he pumped into me.

I felt the sweat beading on my neck and forehead, I trembled from his touch. I didn't know how he didn't know what he did to me.

Was his mind so warped and gone that he really didn't see how I felt?

His mouth was right next to my ear, and I could feel his hot breath on me as it hitched.

"You better fucking not be, Swan." He kissed my shoulder, pushing his lips against it and then pulled his head back up again to say more. "Because I don't take fucking kindly to being played like a bad deck of cards."

He sucked hard, just below my ear lobe then and I took the opportunity to speak my own peace as he slowed his thrusts just a little.

"Edward, I need you to trust me." I told him. "I care about you…"

"Stop it." He said, pounding into me, pushing me forward so that I was on my elbows once again. "I don't need you to fucking care about me, Swan."

What the hell kind of crazy talk was THAT?

"Cullen, what in the…"

He cut me off, slipping in and out of me, harder and harder, deeper, and I couldn't get enough of him either.

"The last person that bothered caring about me is…" He thrust into me again and grunted, but didn't finish whatever it was he was going to say.

I wasn't giving up though. "Well… Fuck." I groaned out as he delved deeper into me and grinded his dick to hit spots I didn't know existed. "I do care, Edward, I think I might even…."

"FUCK!" He came hard into me, pulling me onto his dick harder than ever and his head dipped into my back, breathing heavy for a moment or two, before it sounded half way normal again.

His hand was wrapping around me and I started to speak again, hoping it was safe to now.

"Cullen…" I groaned… "_Edward_…" I said softer, hoping he'd hear me, and lose the rage just a little, but he didn't answer me. He only twisted me around so that I was on my back now, and then his fingers found my clit as he stared into my eyes.

"Cum." Was all he said, and I started to close my eyes but he told me quietly, "No, open them… I want you looking at me when you cum, baby."

I did and he continued to whisper as he would dip into my wetness and then rub my clit again, softly sometimes, so soft I thought I'd die as I stared into his green eyes that were trying to tell me something.

"Fuck…" I moaned out, finally squeezing my eyes shut because I just couldn't take it anymore. "Edward." I cried out as I came, and he kissed me as I said his name again against his lips, making me shiver and shake in the legs. I couldn't control it, and felt like an idiot that I was so at his mercy.

Before I'd had a chance to come down from my orgasm, he positioned himself over me, and slid Eddy Jr. into me again, but this time, it was… I don't know, I almost hate to use the word with regards to Cullen, but I swore there was something… _sweet_ there.

His hands raked his fingers gently through my hair to get it out of my face and he kissed my forehead as he made his way in and out of me this time.

It felt so good, and right, and like that was where he belonged.

Inside of me.

_Always._

"I trust you, Swan, shit." He breathed out, scowling, almost like he hated saying it. "I fucking trust you."

I raked my hands through his completely drenched hair as he kissed each of my breasts tenderly, along my collar bone, to the crook in my neck and shoulder, stopping at the shoulder again to linger just a tad longer there, under my ear, and finally, my lips.

"I'm glad." I said to him when he pulled away, and kissed his neck, where I watched goose bumps start to form, then I wrapped my legs around his waist, pushing him further into me as our bodies moved in complete and perfect sync with each other until finally…

"Shhhhhhhit." He growled and I felt my second orgasm coming right along with his.

"MMMMMmmmmmmm." I moaned out with him, and when he was done, he looked at me, at a loss of breath, and a smile played around the corners of his mouth, although it never actually fully extended into one, but I did it for him, and kissed him forcefully on his beautiful lips.

Several minutes of his calming down went by as my fingers trailed up and down his back while he just hovered there, kissing me, letting our lips speak what neither one of us could apparently say.

I felt it though.

I knew it was there.

My body shook with it.

And I wanted to be swallowed up by it.

_Consumed._

By him.

_Love._

Fuck.

I wasn't stupid. I knew what love felt like. Although, this seemed like so much more than… _anything_.

My gut told me this wasn't even close to the time or place to say something as profound as that to him, though. Who knew how he'd react to hearing something like that, considering he probably didn't think he was deserving of that emotion from anyone.

So instead, I rolled him over gently, and put my head into his chest and his arm instinctively covered his eyes.

We just lay there, and I was grazing his stomach with my fingers as he breathed, and his chest rose and fell, slower with every minute that went by, until finally I knew he was asleep.

"Newton's definitely in on the bullshit, ya know." I said softly, tracing circles on his skin.

"He hasn't come out and said it, but he's hinted that you're going down and that he's got big money backing him up." Cullen breathed in heavily and let the air out slow, like he was letting all the pain inside of him leave his body. "He said something about how the Mayor is tired of you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

His arm fell from over his face, down to his side, and I looked at his flawless features, dead to the world, and so peaceful.

"I'm not gonna let him hurt you, Edward." I whispered, before kissing his arm, and he rolled us over unconsciously, so we were spooning, pulling me tightly into him.

I stretched forward and over the side of his bed, reaching into my backpack. I pulled my cell phone out, setting the alarm to buzz at about 4:00am, and then I slid it under the pillow that my head rested on and closed my eyes, happy to be in his arms.

**PART 2. CULLEN**

_I was running. _

_Trying to catch up with her, but she was god damn fast. _

_I'd followed her._

_Even though I'd just got through telling her I wasn't gonna go, I followed her. _

_Because I worried about her, and wanted to make sure she didn't get herself into any more trouble than she'd already managed to get herself into._

_I couldn't help myself._

_Things were hairy and Jess had this way of getting into sticky fucking situations like no one else I'd ever met._

_I laughed at the way she tried to be all stealthy like, creeping up to the old shipping warehouse that housed Arrow Shipping, shaking my head. I wondered if she'd actually find anything, or if this would just prove to be another wild goose chase._

_She tripped over some piles of rocks and I laughed out loud._

_She stopped._

_She'd heard me this time, and started to turn around, her long blonde hair waving in the wind slowly._

_I absolutely couldn't hide the huge smile on my face at my complete amusement of her lack of skills in the covert area of our jobs to be._

_Jess was a smart woman, but not so smart when it came to undercover thinking._

_I mean here she was, getting ready to break into the one of the most heavily guarded shipping warehouses in the city, and she hadn't even worn BLACK for Christ's sake._

"_You might wanna tie your hair up Je…" I started, but as she finally faced me, I realized, it wasn't Jess anymore and the smile faded from me._

_Her hair slowly changed to that smooth, auburn, chestnut color I liked to wrap my hands in, and she was now wearing black leather, with black running shoes, and her hair was up in a pony tail._

"_You shouldn't have come here, Edward." She said._

_I scowled, trying to understand what the fuck the Swan was doing trying to break into Arrow by herself as she turned back around and kept running for the entrance._

"_Bella! Wait!" I said, reaching out to her as I ran for the warehouse, but it was too late, as she opened the front door, the explosion erupted, and I was thrown back into a pile of wooden two by fours._

I sat up right. "WAIT!"

My breathing was shallow, sweat was dripping from my forehead, and I felt my chest for injuries instinctively, then slowly, I realized I had just been fucking dreaming.

"Shit." I breathed out.

I reached over for her, but my bed was empty except for fucking me, and I looked around, but her bag was gone too, along with her clothes.

It was still dark out, but I could tell the sun was getting ready to shine through my fucking window, and I checked the time on my phone.

Five AM.

Where in the Hell would she need to go at five fucking o'clock in the morning?

My cell was single buzzing, so I knew there was a text waiting for me, and I got up to go find out what it said.

It was pretty fucking apparent who it was from, I mean, she's the only person on the god damn planet that would know I was up at this god forsaken fucking hour of the day to even send me one.

_Had to meet Newton, didn't want to wake you. See you later. Keep trusting._

I threw the phone back down as the sarcastic laugh escaped me and slipped my jeans on I'd been wearing the night before.

"Fuck Cullen by night, woo Newton by day… nice plan, Swan. Very nice." I spat bitterly.

What in the fucking Hell was I doing?

Shit was getting outta hand, and I needed to think, so it's just as fucking well she'd left. For some reason when The Swan's around, I tended to think weird shit.

I went to go check e-mail to pass the time until Arrow Shipping would open.

Today was the motherfucking day.

I was gonna find Red Ferrari driver, god damn it.

And we were gonna have words.

I laughed at the e-mail from Muldoon that was blinking at me, filling The Swan and I in on our next big "case" we had to work on, and I was done.

The bullshit stopped now, whether that meant it brought down the hammer on my ass or not, screw these ass hats and their mirrors of fucking disguise.

I'd had it.

I typed out a reply, and copied The Swan, so it wouldn't look like she was in on it.

_Dear Lieutenant._

_Take your cases, and the competition that you so humbly have attempted to bestow up on me, and shove it up your god forsaken, who knows when the last time it's seen the light of day, ASS._

_I'm done._

_Give the bullshit consulting job to Miss Swan._

_Sincerely,_

_Cullen._

I laughed as I hit the SEND button, seriously contemplating my own sanity, and then got a shower.

As I threw on a new pair of jeans and a pullover, staring at my empty bed, I got to thinkin' about the night before.

The shit with The Swan had me all kinds up fucked up in the head from here to god damn eternity.

I mean shit, I _did_ trust her.

I guess I always knew I did, it was just… saying that shit out loud did something.

It changed the game, made it so I actually had some even fucking ground to walk on, or something like that anyway.

Fuck if things hadn't shifted last night in a major god damn way. I mean fuck, I'd gone from wanting to rip her throat out, to wanting to rip my heart out, to just, fucking wanting to feel her next to me for Christ's sake.

That shit is not like me.

She'd officially gotten under my god damn skin and moved in with a lease to own contract.

She wasn't goin' anywhere. Why should she? It was fucking rent controlled under there.

I was fucked.

In a whole Hell of a lot more ways than just a good god damn stress relieving, dick hurtin', make me wanna scream holy bloody murder romp in the hay, if ya know what I'm gettin' at, ladies and gentlemen.

I didn't exactly have the kind of time I needed to process that shit, so I pushed it down for the time being, and figured I'd worry about it later.

After I'd thrown the dirty sheets and shit in the washer, and cleaned up the fucking apartment, enough time had passed that I could get a start to my newly fucked up day, so I set up my check points, looked around for Pup, who wasn't anywhere to be fucking found, and then locked the door up and headed off to good old Arrow Shipping.

I had approximately thirteen women on the list that Jazzman had given me, and roughly zero time to figure out which one was doing the deed for Aro, or the Mayor, or the fucking Lieutenant…

Shit.

_So much to fucking figure out, so little god damn time._

Woman number one was a cross off immediately.

No offense, but she was about as dumb as a box of rocks and fucking hell, a god damn Amazon woman like I'd never seen before.

There was just no way she could ever even come close to passing for Jess.

Unless she walked around on her fucking knees.

I shook my head.

Definitely a cross off.

The receptionist was a possibility, so I inked a check mark by her name on the list and struck up a fucking conversation with her to see if she recognized me, or flinched when I asked her certain questions.

"Hi." I said, smiling down at her over the counter she sat behind.

It was one of those overly done fucking counters, that had no business in a god damn warehouse, but what the fuck ever.

Blush rose to her cheeks and she tucked some hair behind her ear, looking at me like a god damn rock star and shit before she finally said with squeaky voice, "Um… hi, can I help you?"

_You have no idea, my friend._

I'd managed to find and calculatingly interview four of the thirteen women on my list, only one of them being a possibly Ferrari driver, before Aro caught on to the fact that I was in his fucking warehouse and had sent some thugs to "escort" my ass off the premises.

Was it really god damn necessary for them to shove me face first into the gravel of the parking lot?

I think fucking not, my friends.

Could I have started shit with them? Maybe kicked one's ass before the other was able to take me down?

Maybe.

But their guns were bigger than my gun and I was pretty sure one of them would have put a big huge ass hole in my chest if they'd gotten a shot off before I round kicked their asses.

"Easy guys, I paid a half grand for this fucking jacket." I said to them before getting up and mock saluting to Aro's office window on the top floor.

I couldn't see him, but I knew he was there, watching.

"Mr. Volturi doesn't want to see you near his place of business again, Mr. Cullen." Thug number one said to me. "Or he'll be forced to call in the authorities."

What a laugh.

_The authorities. _

Like they could fucking stop me.

"You tell Mr. Volturi he doesn't have to worry about seeing me around again." I told them, smirking my ass off.

Technicalities are my motherfucking specialty.

"You're goin' down too motherfuck head, don't you worry." I said through my teeth, smiling up at him as I waved goodbye.

I went to the Vanquish and pulled my camera out, and snapped some pics of the property from far enough away that I wasn't noticed.

I tried to find as many women as I could and clicked that motherfucker like there was no tomorrow.

I knew I'd have time later to develop that shit and take my time looking over the details.

That's where Satan lives ya know?

And I'd bet my miserable fucking life that Aro was the head of hell himself.

I threw the camera back into the passenger's seat and headed toward the Ram's Head. Because I needed a fucking drink, and wasn't in the god damn mood to drink alone at the apartment.

Once I got there though, I immediately regretted my fucking decision.

Because sitting in a booth, all nice and cozy like, about half way back into the bar, was The Swan.

With Newton.

"Of all the fucking gin joints…" I muttered in my best Humphrey Bogart voice.

Then I breathed out "Shit." and debated walking right the fuck back out but it was too late, Demetri called over to me "Cullen!"

_Thanks… D._

I nodded to him and noticed Newton turn around to give me a dirty fucking look before giving his attention back to The Swan, grabbing her hand as he did it.

Probably for fucking show only.

But I digress.

She tensed a little and pulled her hand away.

_Motherfucking right, Newton, eat that shit._

_Prick._

Her eyes darted to me, but then back to Newton quickly and I watched as her posture changed. She sat up straight and started fiddling with her fucking hair, anything I guess to keep him from fucking touching her in front of me again.

'Cause I might have just lost my fucking shit if I had to witness that utter motherfucking fuckery again.

No lie, my friends.

He said something and The Swan laughed, but not a full on, Swan is getting' her giggles on laugh, just kind of more of a, I'm laughing because I don't wanna hurt your fucking feelings laugh.

Although, in my humble motherfucking opinion, who gives a shit if Newton's feelings get hurt.

Right?

Then she got up and excused herself, eyeballing me and giving me a weak ass smile as she walked down the back hallway to the restrooms.

I watched her till I couldn't see her anymore and then pulled out a bar stool and sat down just as Demetri set a shot glass with my favorite liquid in it.

"Thanks Demetri."

"How's it goin'?" He asked, and I was still in Bogart mode, so I said "Things are never so bad they can't be made worse."

He laughed and held his own tequila filled shot glass up to me and said "Cheers, Cullen."

I clinked it and we swallowed them both down at the same time and I set the glass down and slid it back over to him to fill it up as Newton made his fucking presence known.

_Yay._

"Surprised you're even lettin' him in here after last night, Demetri."

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

Did the fuckless wonder really need to speak?

Seriously.

"Yeah, sorry about that Demetri, by the way." I told him, half smiling, half fucking annoyed that Newton was actually god damn right about something.

"It was worth it, Cullen." Demetri said to me quietly. "I'd have paid money to watch Newton get his ass handed to him again."

I smiled a full on motherfucking smile at that shit, because in all honesty, I would've paid to do that shit all over again too.

I was figuring I might get a drink or two in before The Swan came back out of the bathroom in peace as my phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my jacket pocket to confirm my suspicions, and yep, it was her.

I peeked down at it to see if I was maybe getting anymore dirty text talk, but all she said was "_please don't do anything rash."_

Rash?

Me?

Was she fucking kidding me with this shit?

I tucked the phone back into my pocket, shaking my head and reaching for the next shot with my other hand when Newton saddled up right fucking next to me and I let out an irritated sigh.

'Cause here we fucking go.

So much for Rash.

_Sorry Swan._

"You got a lot of fucking nerve, Cullen."

I laughed through my nose at his ass and turned to face him. "Why's that exactly, Newton?"

"Before this is over, Emmett's not gonna believe a word you say, ever again, you know that right?"

I shrugged. "Seemed to believe me last night."

_Asshole._

"That'll change once all my boys tell him you're a fucking liar. Boys he knows and trusts, he won't have a choice, they're his unit, Cullen, he knows they wouldn't lie to him."

He laughed and part of my chest sunk inside, wondering if he was right, if Emmett would hear ten to fifteen men on his own squad tell him I was full of shit. Then where would we be?

Fuck.

But then I remembered what he'd asked me last night as we sat out on the curb together.

_Are we clear now, Edward?_

"Why's it so important to you that Em not believe me, Newton, scared of somethin'?"

He rolled his eyes and looked back toward the back of the bar. For Swan, no doubt.

"Don't worry," I said to him, and then leaned in to whisper like we were telling fucking secrets to each other on a god damn boy scout's sleep over or something. "I'll give you the nod when she comes back out."

He pushed me away from him and I had to laugh, because it was seriously beginning to just bug the shit out of me that he thought he and Swan had ANYTHING even fucking CLOSE to a relationship.

"Fuck you, Cullen."

I chose at that point to ignore his dumb ass and turn back to Demetri, who was way more fun to fucking talk to, and had alcohol.

He set one more shot down in front of me and as I tilted that one back, Newton said "And another thing…" He announced it like he was the fucking King of Scotland or something, like I really gave two fucks what he had to say. "I think you owe me a god damn apology for that shit you pulled by the way, Cullen."

No.

He didn't really just motherfuckin' say that shit to me.

_I_… owe _HIM_ a fucking _apology_?

"Well, you're right about one thing, Newton." I said, setting the shot glass down gingerly on the bar counter, eying Demetri for his approval, and he smiled.

"What's that?" he asked.

The guy was genuinely curious as to what the fuck I was about to say.

"I do owe you SOMEthing…"

I let it hang out there for a minute, and he finally said "Well?"

He asked right?

Am I fucking right?

My elbow flew backwards as I rose from the stool, and it met his face in about two point two god damn seconds. And this time, he didn't have any of his buddies to catch him when he fell flat on his ass, clocking his head on the hard floor of the Ram's Head.

_Here's to cement motherfuckin' floors._

"Shit!" He cried out like the fucking pansy that he was, holding his bloody nose.

I bent down and told him with a friendly smile, because the Swan _did_ ask me not to be _rash _and shit. "That's for the sucker punch, Newton… now we're even." Then I threw some bills down for Demetri and said to him a little hushed "Keep an eye on my girl for me, will ya, _D_?"

He nodded and took the money.

And I left.

On my way to the office, I got a call on the cell.

It was Emmett.

I answered and breathed out, knowing what the fuck it was about already.

"Does Newton EVER fucking take a lickin' and not tattle like a god damn two year old?" I asked him.

"Bro, I'm not gonna give you shit about it, but you gotta know, Muldoon's gunnin' for you, and if you keep assaulting his officers, he's gonna have you arrested man."

I fucking hate rules by the way.

They make me wanna rip a god damn hole in a wall or something.

Typically, I wouldn't give a flying fuck, but Em was right. And if I wanted to take the Mayor and whatever ring of shit heads that were working for him down, I needed to stay OUT of jail.

"Yeah, I know, but fuck Em, he…"

"I know, Edward, just… _avoid_. That always works for me." He laughed, and I decided now was as good as any to ask him about shit.

"Hey Em…"

"Yea."

"Tell me you don't believe the assfucks in your department."

He hesitated.

_He hesitated?_

"Em."

"Do I really have to answer that at this point, Edward?"

He didn't believe them.

"No." I said, smug as shit and glad to have my fucking brother back on my side. I gotta say, I hadn't realized how much I'd missed his dumb ass till right then.

"Alight then." He retorted, sarcastically.

_Dick._

"Thanks Em." I said to him.

And I fucking meant it for once.

I was about ready to hang up when he piped back up and threw out at me something I really wasn't fucking expecting at all.

"Hey. Um, mom's cookin' tomorrow night."

_Oh boy._

I sighed.

"Come on, Edward, I'm bringin' Rose, and your friend Jasper will be there with Alice. It'll be fun. Bring Bells."

While I let the thought of that sink in, he added. "Unless, she's with… I mean, we saw her out with Newton the other night and then last night…"

_Hold the phone… _

_The other night?_

"What do you mean the other night?"

He fucking hesitated again and I do not like that shit.

"Em." I prodded.

"Edward, it was just at the Ram's Head, Rose and I were out and she was there, with Newton, that's all, no big deal… listen…"

"Thanks, Em." I said, and hung up, then texted The Swan, not really giving a rat's ass whether Newton saw that shit or not when she got it.

_You neglected to tell me about date #1 with Newton the other night, we'll talk._

No fucking wonder she'd god damn drunk texted me all that shit about finger fucking her the other night.

_Shit._

I laughed, because that shit had made Eddy Jr. fucking bitter as a motherfucker that I'd been in NYC and couldn't help her out with her god damn problem.

I had to fucking whack off, imagining her doing herself in her apartment… _alone_… it didn't take long to cum that night.

The first or second time.

The third time took a while.

I fucking hope they changed the sheets in that room.

But seriously, god damn if that woman wasn't lucky he didn't fucking take advantage of her or some shit like that.

No. Scratch that fuckery. _HE'S_ lucky he didn't take ad-fucking-vantage of her.

I was growing more and more god damn angry by the minute just thinking about that shit and was glad once again that I'd fucking made him bleed at the Ram's Head.

I'd do more than that if he fucking touched her again.

I hit the steering column of the Vanquish and gripped the wheel tight, trying to calm the hell down.

I mean, shit, people, it was seriously making my head explode that she kept putting herself in danger like that, when she had no god damn clue what she was up against.

Good intentioned or not.

She's from fucking Forks god damn Washington, and Newton is… well, the dirtiest fucking cop I know in the tri-state motherfucking area on the East Coast, and working for the most influential god damn politician in said area as well, might I fucking add.

It wasn't a hard decision to come to.

I was pretty motherfucking good at coming up with solutions to problems.

Especially problems like Newton.

I'd just be wherever she was, and if that was where he was, then so fucking be it. I was gonna make sure as shit that she didn't get 'sucker punched' so to speak, and sucked into a god damn black hole of shit fuckery that someone like her wasn't fucking used to.

Whether she was a high ranking god damn kick boxer or not.

And if it just so fucking happened to bother the shit out of Newton in the process.

Then all the god damn better the plan.

If ya fucking feel me.

For now, though, I needed to get back to the office to develop some incriminating pictures from Arrow Shipping, and hopefully find a way to nail the god damn bad guys to the fucking wall.

**PART 3. THE SWAN**

"Mike, stop whining, it's hardly bleeding anymore."

I was just a little annoyed. I mean, Cullen clearly didn't understand the meaning of the word 'rash' because for crying out loud, God forbid he actually NOT punch somebody for shit.

"I'm gonna fucking kill Cullen one of these days…" He laughed and I cringed a little. I think he was serious.

"And no one's gonna cry a river for him either."

I felt my leg twitch.

_Knee…. Balls… it'll only take a second…_

My phone buzzed and I checked it quietly while Newton was inspecting his nose for the fifth time within an hour.

D rolled his eyes at me and kept on cleaning his beer glasses behind the bar.

The text on my phone was from Cullen.

_You neglected to tell me about date #1 with Newton the other night, we're going to talk._

Oh, shit.

I didn't have time to reply, it would be too obvious, so I slipped the phone back into my back pack and pretended to be concerned for Newton some more, wondering if there would be angry sex later, or just plain old anger.

Or just sex.

But then, sex was never _just _sex, with Cullen.

It was…

My phone actually rang and I jumped, because part of me worried it was Cullen, perhaps calling because I didn't respond to his damn text.

But it wasn't him.

"Mike… I… really need to take this, do you mind?" I asked, covering the speaker and nodding toward the front exit of the bar.

He shrugged and put the mirror he'd been using away, and stomped off to chat with some of his buddies that started filtering in, and I waited until I was outside and could hear before I put the phone back up to my ear.

"Hey Jake."

"Bells. Charlies' freaking out that you haven't called ya know."

_Le fucking sigh._

"I'm sure he is, Jake… but did you look up that story I left you a message about?"

"You really should call him, ya know."

"Jake…"

"He just needs to hear you're okay, Bells."

"Jake!"

_Jesus! Christ!_

"Okay, okay…" he sighed. "I had to dig really deep, Bells… I coulda sworn it was like last year or something, but dang if it wasn't TWELVE years ago."

Wow. Twelve years, jeeze… I was… _thirteen_.

"Uh huh…"

"Do you remember when the Clearwaters kid got taken?"

Oh, my god, the CLEARWATERS! They lived kinda far from us. In Port Angeles, but the news was all over the place and my dad had even helped in the search, but there was no trace of the little boy that had been kid-napped, and it was finally cold cased like five years later.

No body, and no leads.

It was so sad.

"YES! Shit, Jake, do you think…?"

"I dunno know Bells, there's only a baby picture of the kid in the file. I mean, he's the right age and all… but he was only like three or four when that happened, there's no way to know if it's actually him unless we get a DNA sample from that kid Edward knows."

Oh my fucking god this is not happening.

"He hasn't heard from him since that day you left… shit."

Neither one of us said anything for a few minutes and I finally broke the silence with "Okay, listen, I'm gonna try and find him… will you do me a favor?"

"You know I will." He answered. He was right. Jake always dropped everything for me.

"Fax me the file, not the whole thing, just the beginning stages, when the police were following up on leads… pictures, notes, anything like that."

"You got it Bells, but only if you call Charlie."

I laughed. "Fine, deal. And thanks Jake."

We hung up and I called Charlie to check and give him some damn peace of mind before going back in to check on Newton.

He wasn't happy about the whole, fighting thugs in my underwear thing and I made a mental note to fucking KILL Jake for giving him ALL the details of that altercation the next time I saw him.

I was feeling really anxious about getting back to Cullen and telling him what I'd just found out about Seth. Or, the possibility of what I'd just found out about Seth, and hoped we could find that poor kid soon, so after about another HOUR of excruciatingly painful chit chat with Newton that got me absolutely NO where, I told him I had an appointment and left.

It was really cold out, like, bitter cold, and when I got to Cullen's apartment, that dog he said wasn't his was sitting outside his door, shivering.

I knocked, but he didn't answer, and when I texted him, he didn't respond.

_Hmmmm_. Either pissed or in the dark room at his office, maybe.

_The darkroom. _I decided.

_And pissed._

I sighed and looked down at the dog, who was just sitting there, whimpering just a little, but not very audible at all, so I stooped down to inspect him and realized he was bleeding in between his paws on one of his front feet.

I hate seeing animals in pain.

So, I made an executive decision.

I picked the dog up and said "Come on, little guy, we'll go get you all fixed up AND find Cullen. Two birds, one stone."

I know, it was probably wrong, but that dog was so cold, and I just couldn't stand thinking of him having to sit outside the rest of the night in pain like that.

And if fucking Cullen wasn't gonna even bother coming home to check on him, then damn it, I'd do it my damn self.

I put the dog in the front with me and bundled him up in my scarf. "Do you have a name little guy?" I scratched him behind the ears. "Huh?"

He just put his head down and closed his eyes like he was in Heaven and I started the truck up and cranked the heat.

By the time we got to Cullen's office building, he seemed to not be shaking at all, and I was feeling pretty happy with myself for bringing him with me.

While I looked for a spot to park the truck, I absentmindedly scanned the streets for this red Ferrari Cullen was always seeing, but didn't notice it anywhere.

Although I'd seen it that one night we'd followed it together, that was really the only encounter I'd had with it… her, him, whatever. My point being, I wondered if Cullen's paranoia made him see it a little more often than he actually did.

It was normal to imagine things like that, and there were lots of red Ferraris in the city, but it's not likely they were ALL following him around.

I'm just sayin'.

Right?

I also checked around for Newton's cruiser to make sure he hadn't followed me. I wouldn't put it past him, but didn't think he would at this point. He had no reason to, for now anyway.

I managed to park behind Cullen's Vanquish, which confirmed he was indeed there, and the truck sputtered dead.

"I know, girl… I'll get you over to Rose's soon, don't worry." I told her as she jerked and shook and it woke the dog up, who looked up at me as if to ask "who are you talking to?"

Like talking to a car was any worse than talking to a dog.

I shook my head at him and scooped him up, along with my backpack and I trudged across the street with him held tightly into me, then jogged up the stairs two at a time, which wore my ass out because with the dog, the backpack and me, I was lugging a good fifty extra pounds that I wasn't used to lugging.

Worth it though, if I could fix the little guy up.

As I entered Cullen's office, who's front door was open… _again_… I noticed something new.

A red light was lit above his dark room door, and a sign hung below it saying "DO NOT ENTER WHEN LIGHT IS ON".

I laughed and knocked on the door.

"Be right out!" He called and I told him "It's just me!"

I closed the door to his office behind me and let my backpack drop to the floor, then took my coat off, all while still managing to hold the dog in my arms.

In the bathroom, I set him on the sink and managed to find a first aid kit that Cullen kept tucked away.

"Figures." I said to the dog. "He would have the super sized, for big boo boos, first aid kit." I was actually glad though, it had everything I could possibly need in it.

I laughed and started cleaning his little paw when I heard movement out in the main area of the office.

"Cullen?" I called out and went to go get him to show him how neglectful he was with his animals, but I didn't find Cullen.

All I caught was a glimpse of red hair flitting out of the office, into the hallway, and figured, it must have been some client that realized he wasn't here, or busy, and just decided to leave.

I shrugged and went back to my patient, who was sitting very still on the sink and I told him "You are such a good dog." With my best doggie impersonation, petting him on the head while I did it.

It took a little doing, but I wrapped him up all good and snug like with my scarf again, after getting the paw cleaned up and wrapped with gauze, then I picked him up to head back into the main entry, only to almost run right smack into Cullen.

"Oh! Shit you scared me." I said, a little breathlessly.

He had a bunch of shit in his arms that looked like film and paper and he scrunched his eyebrows at me, then the dog and said "Where the fuck have you been?"

He jerked his neck back and seemed to suddenly realize what the dog was wearing, both on his paw and around his body, and then looked at me, the crease between his eyebrows deepening and said "And what the fuck have you done to my dog?"

"I…"

_Okay, now is NOT the time to get all weak about shit, Swan._

"I'm taking care of him… and I thought he wasn't your dog." I said sarcastically, knowing full well that he was. But now I'd had Cullen by the balls, he couldn't deny it after that comment, so I smirked at him and he rolled his eyes at me.

"What the fuck did you put on him, a dress?" he asked, annoyed.

"He was FREEZING, Cullen… don't you EVER let him in?"

He laughed "Um… that would be a big fat no, Swan, dogs are a mess. And I don't do messy."

I put my hand on my hip. The one that wasn't holding the dog. "I'm messy, are you gonna put me out?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "I might, if you keep putting dresses on my god damn dog."

I huffed through my nose and he passed me, putting his things away, and I took the dog into the main office area and set him on the couch, awarding me with yet another dirty look from Cullen.

This time I just ignored him and walked over to his desk, noticing some pictures that were all sprawled out on it while he went back into the dark room to finish cleaning up.

One of them was of the Mayor, who didn't look all too happy at all to be having his picture taken. A woman stood next to him, and she had a blanket wrapped around her, laughing at something.

It occurred to me that this must have been the day Cullen caught him cheating on his wife, and that the woman must have been Lauren.

A magnifying glass lay next to the picture and I picked it up, wondering what Cullen was looking for in the details.

After a few minutes of squinting hard at every little thing in the picture, I dropped the magnifying glass.

"Swan?" Cullen called out from the dark room hearing the glass clank down onto the desk.

I felt a cold chill go up my spine at seeing my name written on the piece of paper in the picture, just as Cullen was coming out of his dark room again.

_Why would he have my name written on…._

I looked up at him and he saw what I was looking at and pursed his lips as he started to head over to his desk to join me.

"Cullen… why is…" I began to ask, but he cut me off. "I don't know, Swan, but we're gonna fucking find out, don't worry."

I was staring at the picture and Cullen pulled me into a nice warm, tight hug, kissed the top of my head, then suddenly suggested, as though we were spending a happy Sunday afternoon together, watching old movies or something, "Hey, you hungry? The Chinese guy downstairs makes some killer fucking Kung Pao."

I pulled away from him and gave him a look like 'how could you possibly be thinking of food right now?' but to be honest, once he said that, I realized I actually was really hungry.

Plus, he added "It's gonna be a long night, we have a lot of fucking pics to review from Arrow that I took today, and I wanna try and nail down the date on that receipt he's got in his pocket too." He nodded to the picture I had just been looking at again.

So I said "Sure, I'll call, where's the number."

He smiled and pulled a business card out of the top drawer of his desk. It was old and wrinkly, like he'd used it a lot.

I took it and then picked up the phone and started to dial the number.

"Hey who's the red head, by the way? New client?" I asked him, remembering the woman from earlier who'd snuck out as I came to see who was making noises.

Cullen laughed through his nose and gave me a weird look when he started to ask me "What red h…" Then he stopped dead in his tracks and the smile faded from his face as he darted for the hallway.

"Cullen!" I called out, and I could hear him stop in the hallway.

It was quiet, but he did come back. "I need to see if she's still lurking… maybe I can get a plate number or something." he said, then stared at me for a minute, contemplating something.

Probably whether or not he could trust me in his office alone while he was gone.

I was prepared for him to kick me out, but then he surprised me, and finally said "Come on, Swan."

I couldn't help but smile like a big goofy teenager or something, like he'd just asked me to prom or something.

It was sad, really.

He started for the hallway again, and then once again, stopped short and put his hand on the door, looking back into the room, over my shoulder.

He nodded and said "Bring the god damn girly dog, too."

Then I was gone.

Completely and utterly beaming like an idiot, when he pursed his lips, and gave me a warning look.

"Not a fucking word, Swan." He said, then went ahead to get the Vanquish, as I scooped up my coat and the dog and ran after him, locking the door behind me realizing something that made my heart swell.

He really did trust me.

* * *

**A/N: Pup getting wrapped up in The Swan's scarf, all warm and cuddly like is dedicated to mah girl dani. She was worried about him.**


	18. Declarations of a Fucked Up Nature

** A/N: Chappy song = The Sky is Crying by Stevie Ray Vaughn

* * *

**

**Chapter 17 ~ Declarations of a Fucked up Nature**

**CULLEN  
**

What the fuck was I thinking?

_Seriously._

"Swan, come..._ON_!" I let my head fall back against the car's headrest and banged it a couple of times while I was yelling at her to get a goddamn move on.

She was struggling to get her coat on, with the fucking dog in one hand, her back pack in the other, and I'm in the Vanquish, re-thinking this whole, dog in my car shit when she said, "A little help would be nice."

_Shit._

She was right of course.

So I got the fuck out of the car, and took the dog from her, in all of his hurt paw and scarf wrapped glory_,_ trying to help her on with her god damn big as fuck coat.

Pup was squirming, and of COURSE there just happened to be a cop walking the fuck by, who was sure to let me know, "You need a leash for that dog, sir."

"Yeah, I know…" I said, struggling to keep the damn dog in my arms while Swan was switching the fucking back pack from one arm to the other in order to get her OTHER arm through the sleeve of the goddamn coat.

"It's the law, you know."

I smiled my best fake smile for her. "Yeah, I know, I'm on it."

I mean, seriously, did she NOT see how I was struggling here?

"If you don't…"

"I. _GOT_. IT." I told her finally, and with only a little bit of venom.

She finally fucking walked away and we got our shit together as Pup jumped right out of my god damn arm.

"Mother…!" I yelled.

Just as Red drove passed us.

I was pretty sure she'd waited long enough to let me see her leave, I mean, it had already been long enough for her to have been long gone since she'd left the office, according to Swan.

I don't even know what the fuck I was trying to accomplish by taking off in the Vanquish anyway, except that who knew if I could maybe get a plate off of her car or…_something_...My body had been moving a lot faster than my head lately, that's for fucking sure.

"FUCK."

This is the kind of shit that keeps me from the ties that god damn bind…ya know what I'm sayin' here?

Annoying cop lady took that opportunity to give me the old, evil eye and I ran the fuck after Pup, who luckily hadn't run off too far, and yet, just far enough away to give Red the time she needed to make a clean god damn get away.

"Sorry," Swan mumbled as I got back to the car with the dog, but in reality, if I'm being completely honest here, it wasn't exactly her fault now was it?

No, this was all me, for thinking I could bring a god damn _conga line_ with me on a fucking car chase.

I smiled down at her, though.

"It's all good, Swan. We can only handle one god damn issue at a time anyway…let's get that Chinese, and take a look at the pics from today. Then we'll worry about Red."

"Red?"

I laughed, locking the car up, and huddling Pup under my arm like a football. "Yeah."

She narrowed her eyes at me and asked, "Is there something you have against calling people by their actual names in general? Or is it like…a defense mechanism or something?"

Now THAT, I really did laugh at, cause it was so motherfuckin' typical of her to do that shit. "You psycho-analyzing me, Swan?"

"Maybe," she answered, flirting while she was at it.

"Well I'll tell ya what." I put my free hand on her shoulder. "when this case is over, and all the bad guys are locked away nice and tight, I'll lay all naked like and shit on your couch, and you can ask me all the fucking questions you want, how's that sound?"

She bit her lip and then smiled and arched that eyebrow she likes to arch at me. "Sounds like I won't get a whole lot of questions asked, or answered, if you're gonna be naked."

_True._

And isn't that the fucking point?

I swung the arm I'd had on her should around her and pulled her across the street to the little take out joint where we ordered a shit load of Chinese comfort food to take upstairs with us.

Of course I paid.

Are you fucking kidding me?

"My God, this is so good," she mumbled as she slurped up another long strand of the Beef Lo Mein sitting in between us on the floor.

Pup liked it too.

What? I didn't exactly have any fucking dog food at the office.

He'll be _fine_.

I had to laugh at the way Swan ate. She really could give a shit if it got all over her face or not. And I had to admit, I didn't mind kissing it off of her either.

She picked up a magnifying glass again as she leaned in closer to one of the black and whites I'd laid out for us and squinted over it, inch by inch, covering every area of the photo.

Her hair fell in her face, she blew it out of her way.

If there was lint or some shit like that on the photo, she flicked it off.

She didn't skip a beat, didn't whine, didn't say shit about the hard wood floors bothering her knees.

It was like watching fucking transcendence.

"Didn't you say this one was a cross off? Do you know her name?" she asked, circling the short brunette walking next to one of the rig operators on the site at Arrow.

I looked closer at the picture and nodded. "Yeah, definitely not our girl. But the names are gonna have to get matched up later."

She took the piece of photo paper and put it in the pile of "No's" we'd started, then moved to the next one.

"Did you try the fucking Kung Pao? 'Cause goddamn that shit's the bomb."

She laughed, not bothering to look up at me. "Noooooo thank you, too hot for my delicate taste buds."

_Yeah, right._

"Live a little, Swan." I took a piece with my fingers and held it up to her mouth and although she scrunched her nose at it, she opened her mouth and I put it on her tongue.

And fuck me.

The woman had a way of eating out of my hand that made my dick ache.

As she closed her mouth, her lips covered my fingers and sucked just a little bit, humming as she did it, waking Eddy Jr. up in a really big goddamn way.

"Mmmmmm. Goood."

And let's not forget the way she just said 'mmmmmmm'….

_Settle down, idiot. _

I mean Jesus, could I NOT get through an investigation with this woman without fucking her brains out?

_Um. No._

She looked up at me with apparently the same god damn thing on her mind and I decided maybe a change of subject would get us back on track.

I cleared my throat and took my fingers back, regrettably, licking the remaining sauce off of them.

Not that she'd left me much.

"So, you getting any info off of Newton? Or is this proving to be a waste of fucking time, 'cause if you don't wanna see him again…"

She nodded, thankfully ignoring my blatant and sad show of fucking…what…_protectiveness_? Blowing that whole idea out the god damn window.

"He's not exactly telling me intricate details about anything, he likes to be all cryptic," she said, shaking her head at the thought of him. "He thinks it's sexy…"

_Fucking Ewe._

Before I'd gotten my thoughts on THAT fuckery out, she continued. "…but he has been pretty cocky about how you're going down, and if Emmett's not careful, supposedly he is too."

I rolled my eyes.

Fucking Newton was a god damn rat. If anyone could or would do some fucked up shit to someone on his own force, he would and could.

I have no fucking idea what kind of genes you were given to make you the kind of person that purpose-fucking-fully takes your own unit down, but he had 'em.

"If he tries anything with Em, he's the one that's goin' down," I said matter-of-fucking-factly.

Because it was a _fucking_ fact.

Mess with Em, I will end you.

He'd worked too god damn hard to get to where he was for me to let someone like Newton stain his record with this shit.

"Edward, it's not just Newton you're dealing with here, you said it yourself, the Mayor is powerful. And he's already made two people disappear undetected…"

I cocked an eyebrow at her and she corrected herself.

"Sorry, undetected by the _authorities_."

I stuffed another piece of Kung Pao Chicken into my mouth and wiped my hands on one of the many paper towels that were piled up beside me.

Pushing myself up off of the floor, I got up and walked over to the small fridge I'd kept in the office, got a bottle of water out and opened it, then held it up to Pup's mouth so he could quench the hot from the sauce he was lapping up off of the floor.

Swan just smirked at me, but didn't say anything.

"Anything else?"

"He can't see me tomorrow because the MAYOR has invited him to his house for some…_intimate_ get together."

"And he didn't invite you?"

She shrugged.

"That's too bad, woulda been nice to plant a bug on ya," I chided, keeping my eyes down and smirking.

"This is coming from the same guy who says I'm putting myself in danger by hanging out with…what did you call him? A _cunt fucker_?"

"I said it woulda been nice, not that I would've actually DONE it."

Seriously, she's so easy to screw with sometimes.

"He thinks I'm hot, that doesn't mean he trusts me impeccably," she laughed and I had to agree, he wasn't exactly the dumbest in the box of rocks that is the DCPD.

Close though.

_Hmmm, wonder if heading to the parents with her is a bad idea._

Wonder if she'd go.

_Wonder if that's such a good idea._

Jesus.

_Stop wondering._

Change of subject again…

"You saw Muldoon, right?"

"Yeah," she said hesitantly, seeming to not really wanna go there. But to me, all the more reason to fucking go there.

Ya know?

"What exactly the fuck did you say to him, Swan?"

She twisted her mouth in that, 'I think I may have fucked up' kinda way, and then told me, "I told him it was my professional opinion that I thought he was being used and that it was very possible that some of the people working for him, or more importantly, _with him_ weren't exactly trustworthy."

My head fell down, and I hung it there for a minute, shaking it back and forth.

"Cullen, at some point in the line ladder of supremacy, there has to be someone you start trusting."

Seriously?

"Swan, this is DC you're talking about. You. Trust. No. One."

She stared at me for a second. "I disagree."

"Really." I stated it. It wasn't a question. "Is that why your computer is un-hackable? Because you're so…_trusting_?"

That tid bit had already been spilled a while ago, so it's not like I was getting in trouble AGAIN.

Right?

Her mouth fell open a little. "That's illegal by the way…you could have gone to jail had I wanted to press charges."

"Not technically…" I smiled. "I had Jazzman do it. He doesn't exist," I finished, then reached for a fortune cookie.

She grabbed it from my hand. "That's mine, yours is _that_ one." She pointed at the other cookie laying there and I scowled at her.

"How much Chinese do you eat? And you don't know you're supposed to eat the one that's pointing at you?"

_Huh._

I had no idea.

I grabbed the one she left on the floor and read it while Swan read hers.

_A good time to finish up old tasks._

Weird.

We both looked at each other and then she decided to go ahead and explain herself with regards to the computer shit.

Sort of.

"I didn't set my system up, Jake did, and I was his guinea pig for this new program someone from over _HERE_ actually, had sent him."

"Someone over here? He has DC connections?"

That couldn't be a good thing.

And why was this tidbit of important fucking information overlooked until now?

She shook her head a little "Not like a friend exactly, just some guy he used to know, from the Academy…James something…long story."

"I'm…pretty sure we have all night, Swan," I laughed sarcastically. This shit was not getting away from me.

She sighed, beginning her story. "Jake was top of his class…"

Big woop, we _are_ talking fucking Forks after all.

She seemed to know what I was thinking and eye balled me. "Seriously, he's like, genius level on…Everything…"

_Whatever._

"Anyway, his scores on testing and training got the attention of someone over here and he was recruited to come join…DC or Maryland, I can't remember, one of those forces…"

"Holy shit, no kiddin'…why'd he pass?"

Her shoulders sank and she let out a sigh, of, something somewhere in between pissed off, and sentimental and I let out a chuckle.

Then she was definitely pissed off.

"What the hell is so funny?"

"Swan, sometimes, the look on your face just makes me wanna bundle you up into a blanket and fucking rock your ass to sleep and sing London goddamn bridges, or something."

She rolled her eyes. "Lovely, now I'm a baby."

I laughed some more as I popped a dumpling into my mouth, then I waved her on in encouragement. "Go on, I wanna hear this."

"He passed because I went to Europe."

_Ah…Europe...So I was right...THAT is what she did for the year she'd disappeared._

My eyebrows shot up. "Europe."

"Yeah, Europe. I studied with some of the _best_ profilers in the WORLD over there, Cullen, which is why I need you to believe me when I say, I don't think everyone you're suspicious of is in on this…whatever it is…"

_Yeah, yeah.  
_

"Later on that Swan, what the fuck does you going to Europe have to do with Jake passing up a gig like DC?"

_Unless…_

"He was seriously considering it, but didn't wanna leave…Forks…and, then he and my dad weighed his options, and he decided it was more important to go with me to Europe." She diverted her eyes down.

_Of course._

And I thought my family issues were fucked.

She had the same look on her face as she'd had the night of the celebra-fuckery that the Mayor had thrown us, like she couldn't breathe when this guy was around.

"You took him with you?"

"Well, more like he followed me, I was in the middle of my first profiling class in Paris, when he walked in…that was when I first learned he hadn't taken the job over here."

"Why didn't you just send him home?"

_I would have sent his ass home...in a fucking hand basket._

"Seriously Cullen, you act like that's a simple task. I'm not six foot two ya know. You've met Jake."

"He didn't follow you _here_."

_Thank…God._

"True, but that was because this was permanent…he wasn't about to leave his job at that point. My dad relies on him way too much."

Then she added, "Plus they swear I'll be back within the year. They're just waiting me out at this point."

_Hmmm._

"And what do you think?"

She didn't look convinced herself to tell you the truth. "The more I stay here, the more I wonder if I made a mistake."

Well that wasn't cool…and not at all like the confident woman I'd met a few weeks ago.

"Why, because _they_ say so?" I was only a little fucking irritated.

"Partly. But honestly, I don't know if I'm cut out for DC, Cullen."

I wasn't having any of that crazy ass talk.

"Swan, you're perfectly fucking cut out for DC, sometimes it takes a fresh perspective on things to make you see things a little more clearly."

"That's not what you insinuated five minutes ago."

"That's just fact."

She rolled her eyes at me and looked out of the window at the city lights like they were taunting her.

I situated myself better so that I was in sort of a 'I'm about to lecture your ass so you better damn sight listen to me' position in front of her and said, "Swan. I've lived here, all my fucking life, I went to school with most of these assholes, and with the sons and daughters of the assholes that are too old to have gone to school with me, trust me, I know what the fuck I'm talking about."

She looked a little sad and I worried I'd hurt her fucking feelings so I started to tell her I didn't mean it as in she was a fucking idiot, but she spoke before I'd gotten the chance to say anything.

"I get it," she said. "Big bad ugly city is more than Bella can handle, but Cullen, I'm telling you, I read people too. I didn't train with the best for nothing…"

She looked back at me, and must have noticed the look on my face…which must not have clearly communicated the was feeling at that moment, because she continued on her rant, to say, "And I know what you're thinking, big woop, but…"

Then I had to cut her off. "Swan, I was indeed thinking big fucking woop, but not in a bad way." I laughed at the face she was making.

I couldn't fucking help it.

"That's actually pretty fucking impressive…not like that whole 'wandering around with a back pack' in Europe thing I'd had in mind that you were doing at all."

She finally smiled…and I was enjoying the brightness in her eyes when something hit me.

_James._

"Wait, you're not talking about James Damond are you? The guy that Jake knows?"

She gave me a weird, how the fuck did you know that look and said, "Um, yeah, actually, I'm pretty sure that's his last name, you know him?"

"More like know OF him…it was all over the news when the Mayor hired him up from DCDP last year, he was an unknown, and hadn't been here long and it was a big deal that he'd come from some un-known fucking place no one had ever heard of before…he's kinda low profile…though…"

I was getting a really fucking bad feeling about something and Swan read my face again.

"What are you thinking?"

"What kind of a guy is he?"

"I really don't know, I'd only met him a few times, I can't say I got the warm fuzzies from him, but Jakes knows him way better than I do…"

"Did he know you were moving to the area?"

She was catching on to where I was headed with this.

"It's possible. I guess…"

"OK, let's fucking assume Jake had no idea this guy is working with one of the most notoriously rotten politicians around the tri-state area…"

Hell, I hadn't even really known it till recently…sadly enough.

"No wonder the Mayor had my name…but…why me?"

"No offense, Swan, but you said it yourself…you're new here, coming from a small town, you know nothing about DC politics, and look at you…" I waved at her perfectly sculptured body, "You're the perfect fucking monkey wrench…your timing was just…"

"Perfect."

"Yeah."

"Shit."

"You can fucking say that again…but you know what this means, right?"

"Ummmm…We have info that the Mayor doesn't know we have?"

"Pre-motherfucking-cicely, Swan…" I said, a little more excitedly that I'd planned on it.

She laughed, and I'm tellin' ya, it made me so goddamn happy as a motherfucker to feel a step ahead of the game for once that I grabbed her ass, pulling her up onto her knees, and kissed her hard.

Pup jumped up in between us and reached up, licking my ear and I gotta say, that shit was fucking disgusting, ladies and gentlemen.

"Shit," I said as I pushed him back down and Swan stifled a laugh at my expense while I wiped the Pup slobber out of my ear canal, and then continued with my kiss, only this time, it was softer. I mean, shit, I'd worked her ass hard the night before, I didn't want her thinking I was a god damn abusive son of a bitch or anything.

She melted, and I'm not lyin' when I say, so did I.

She let her hands wrap around my body. Her soft, warm hands found their way up the back of my shirt, pulling me toward her as she backed up.

I knew where we were heading.

I went quite motherfucking willingly.

As we approached the couch, she pulled a couple of pillows off of it and put them down on the floor. Shit I thought they were for her until she started pushing me backwards, straddling my ass.

I leaned back, letting her climb on top of me, because honestly, I think she needed to feel like she was in fucking control for once, and also because that shit was hot.

"You're not gonna hurt me, are ya Swan?" I asked, smirking at her.

"Only if you don't…_shut. up_," she said. But she was smiling, clearly mocking me for being a dick the night before.

I put my hand on her waist and pulled her down the rest of the way on top of me. "Well in that case, let me just recite for you, the declaration of fucking independence."

She laughed as she bent down to fully press her soft body against mine, and grinded Eddy Jr., smiling against my lips once she realized, that course of action wasn't exactly necessary to get me in the god damn mood.

Just Swan being Swan was enough to put me in the mood any god damn day.

"Mmmmmmm, Swan, we're never gonna finish getting these pictures looked over if you don't stop seducing me," I whispered into her ear while she continued making some very aggressive moves on my dick as we lay there on the floor of the office.

"They'll still be there when I'm done with you, _Edward,_" she whispered.

That was pretty much it as far as my self control went.

"Mmmmmmmm," she hummed, reaching into my hair to tug at it a little.

"Jesus, Swan, I need to feed you Chinese more often," I said to her as she sat up and removed her shirt.

Pup jumped up onto the couch and laid down, putting his head on his paws and huffed out a loud snort and we both laughed at his blatant jealousy.

"I'll let ya out later buddy," I told him and Swan told _me, _"I don't think so, Edward, it's way too cold out to leave him outside all night. And if you're not gonna…"

"Jesus…Swan. Fine. He can stay in the fucking apartment."

I was officially losing fucking control of my own god damn life, agreeing to let the damn dog stay indoors. He probably would break out anyway, he's an outside god damn dog. He likes his freedom.

She smiled at me though, happy with my resolve, and then un-hooked her bra from the back and let it fall.

I felt like a god damn idiot, because all I could fucking do was stare at her.

She was fucking beautiful, and owned my ass ten times over, and I fucking knew it.

Hell, I knew that shit the first day she walked into my god damn office.

But when shit gets serious, I lose my mind, so instead of saying something that was probably more god damn appropriate for the moment, I asked her, "Do you wanna come have dinner with me tomorrow at my parents?"

That's acceptable right?

Taking her to see my parents?

Newton clearly wouldn't be out prowling, and it was far enough away from the city that no one would see us out together.

She let her bottom lip get pulled into her mouth once and her tongue wet it, and then she said, "I'd love to Cullen."

She pulled my shirt up and over my head and then immediately worked on my jeans to get them down and out her way before removing her own and then soon enough, she was sitting on top of me again, her hands started at my stomach, and she let them slide up my chest, grazing my nipples, which felt motherfucking fantastic by the way, and then stopped at my shoulders as she bent down and kissed me.

She tasted like fucking Kung Pao.

One of my favorites.

Her tongue met mine and we let them inter-god damn-twine while her hands kept going, extending out to mine and then pushing them up above my head.

"I think I like where you're going with this, Swan," I told her, when we had to take a breather from the kissing, which I couldn't fucking get enough of, by the way.

She didn't say much, she just smiled as she raised her hips and then came back down fluidly, right smack dab on top of Eddy Jr., who was doing his happy dance for two nights in a row of fucking the Swan.

That's fucking talent, ladies and gentlemen.

"Jesus mother of Christ," I breathed out.

"Wet enough for you…_Cullen_?" she asked with her god damn eyebrow raised at me.

"Wrong name, Swan."

"Really." She stopped just before fully engulfing my dick.

"Mmmm Hmmm." Fuck she needed to push down… just… a little… _further_.

Fucking Hell, she was un-doing my sorry ass.

And I loved the shit out of every god damn minute of it.

"You wanna hear me say your name?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

"Then you have to say mine."

_Hmmmm. Playing hard ball, huh?_

I think I likey.

"I just did." I laughed, playing at her bluff.

She started pulling herself off of me.

And that's not cool.

"What's my name, _Cullen_."

She just sat there, un-moving, her juices threatening to leave my dick high and dry and I looked her in the eyes, trying to decide if it was really that fucking hard to just, say her name.

I mean Jesus H. Christ, what the fuck was I waiting for?

I pulled my hand out of one of hers that she was still holding above my head and put it up against her cheek, just holding it there as she leaned her head into it, my thumb rubbed her jaw softly.

"Bella," I rasped.

Saying it was like, drinking a gallon of fucking water after working out for hours with no hydration whatsoever.

It was cooling, refreshing, and I felt…relieved.

Her eyes closed, she kissed the palm of my hand, and I realized, just how fucking much I liked hearing her name float off of my god damn lips like that.

And hated it.

It was literally the best feeling in the fucking world, immediately followed by the absolute worst feeling in the fucking world.

And that shit confused the fuck out of me.

I didn't exactly have time to analyze any of it, because that's when she started moving a little more urgently on my dick, creating ripples of electric fucking currents to shoot up and down my body.

"Fuck…"

She let go of my hands all together and put them on my chest, grinding me hard, getting off as she did, no doubt hitting her g-spot in there somewhere.

I laid my hands on her hips, not exactly moving her body for her, but I was definitely pushing a little harder every time she fell back down onto Eddy Jr.

"You're god damn perfect, Sw…"

She looked at me, lustfully, and warningly and I fucking corrected myself. "_Bella_. Absolutely perfect."

"It's only with you, Edward," she said, continuing her pace until she was finally at the beginning stages of her orgasm.

I felt her tightening, but that wasn't the only way I knew she was close.

I knew the look by now, I'd memorized it.

Eyes closing, lip biting, eyebrows furrowing, look of utter fucking flawless pain combined with pleasure…

It's what did me in, every god damn time, and combined with the fucking emotions that were floating to the goddamn surface tonight, I just couldn't handle anymore.

"Shhhhit…_Bella_," I called her name out as I came hard into her, and then she released too.

She moaned out and then crashed her lips to mine and kissed the living shit out of me as we both finished.

I wrapped my arms around her tight and held her there, letting my hands feel every god damn inch of her arched back.

She breathed a long slow sigh and put her head on my chest, listening to my heart beat for a little while, and I just fucking lay there, trailing my fingers up and down her back, through her hair, combing the little knots that had formed out of it.

"Swan."

It's habit people, give me a fucking break.

"Mmmm?" she hummed.

"You wanna tell me about your date with Newton the night I was in New York?"

It had to be brought up, I mean, shit, why the fuck would she purposely go out with him aside from Emmett's party that she'd already mentioned?

She let out another sigh and I pulled her up so she had to look at me. And also because I wanted see if that was a "I really don't wanna fucking talk about this" kinda sigh, or a "you're really not gonna like what I have to say" kinda sigh.

It was the latter.

_Great._

"What happened?"

She bit her lip. I swear to fucking god, I felt like I was pulling god damn teeth.

"Swan."

"He was…waiting, at my apartment."

I scowled and sat up a little better, and she was still straddling me, legs wrapped around me, with her feet hooked together behind my back.

It felt fucking good to have her connected to me like that…

But I digress, back to the issue at hand.

"You mean like, waiting outside of your building? How'd he even know…"

"I mean like, he was at my apartment…_door_."

What.

THE FUCK?

"You're not seeing his ass anymore," ass all I said, pretty goddamn simple solution, if ya ask me.

"Cullen."

"I don't wanna fucking hear it, Swan, and the next god damn time I see him, I'm leaving him with a re-arranged motherfucking face."

She pursed her lips together, trying not to laugh.

"I'm sorry, did I miss the god damn joke here?" I asked her, annoyed as shit.

"You're rather cute when you're jealous."

"Jeal…_Swan_, this…" I waved my hand in front of my face. "Is NOT _jealousy_, it's called goddamn concern for my partner slash girlfriend who is consistently fucking putting herself in harm's way by hanging out with cunt fucks like Newton, who…" I breathed a little "_APPARENTLY_ is STALKING…HER and lying in wait outside her apartment door, when _I_…" I pointed to myself for dramatic fucking effect. "don't even know where it is."

I'm really fucking surprised I don't have high blood pressure people, 'cause that shit was making me boil from the inside out.

When I started to come down off of my rant, I noticed Swan was looking at me fucking weird and shit, so I followed that soap box filled fuckery up with, "_What?_"

She smiled a little. "I'm your girlfriend?"

Jesus mother of _fucking_ Christ, this woman.

"Seriously."

"Well it's just that, you know, we haven't really…talked about…"

"Swan, I haven't had sex with another woman since meeting you…"

I stopped myself…

_Correction._

"Almost anyway…I can't think straight knowing you're hanging out with someone like Newton, and you've fucking slept…in my BED for Christ's sake. That shit just doesn't happen." I laughed a little hysterically.

"Almost?"

Then I got a little fucking frustrated with myself to tell ya the truth, I didn't like sharing shit like feelings with people…especially '_stubborn, smart mouthed, pain in the ass, makes me wanna bend her over my office couch and fucking the living day lights out of her'_ people.

"You're missing the goddamn point, here, my friend."

"Oh, now we're _friends_," she said sarcastically, playfulness dancing around her eyes.

I shut my eyes tight, and raked my hands over my face at that…I mean was she fucking with me? Seriously? There's a god damn mad man following her around and she's giving me shit about girlfriend boyfriend fuckery?

She put her hands over top of mine and stopped them from digging hole into my face, pulling them away, smiling at me all goofy eyed and shit, just before kissing me on the lips.

Then my nose.

Then my forehead.

My eyes closed and I thought, she must just completely love that she did that shit to me on a daily fucking basis.

I loved the look she'd had on her face though, I had to admit, and it made me think of something.

"Tell me what were you laughing at with Newton, that night at Emmett's party, when I first got there."

She cocked an eyebrow and didn't miss a beat.

"Why did you hit your drill sergeant in the Academy?"

Well shit.

I felt the stinging in my chest, remembering that episode, out of nowhere. Hell on Earth, where'd she come up with this bullshit?

"I'm not her, ya know…Jess?" she said quietly, and although, I wasn't sure if she was comparing herself to Jess, or thought I was, I answered her with, "No, you're definitely not." and then kissed her again.

She was so much more than Jess...I knew that even though there was a part of me that hated admitting that shit, it was true.

For about another hour or so after we got ourselves dressed, we weeded through the photos, and finished up checking off the women that probably were NOT our red Ferrari driver, and I said I'd match them up with the names in my own way the next day, while she was out keeping Newton busy for me.

He was planning on taking her for a "ride along"...

Isn't that fucking sweet.

Then we were planning to meet up at my parents, in separate cars, and she was to make absolutely sure no one was watching her before she headed over, otherwise, she just needed to text me and bail.

It was all good.

I knew she wasn't stupid, she'd be careful.

It was fucking Newton that worried me.

"Let's hit it, can you stay tonight?" I asked, helping her up off of the floor.

"I need to check in with my apartment, first, maybe grab some clothes…"

"And you need clothes, because…?" I asked, teasing her.

"Tomorrow…you know, in case you rip them to shreds or something?" she answered, laughing. "Plus I wanna check messages, make sure my dad's not FREAKING out…"

"Gotcha." I winked and she pulled her coat on, then opened the door up for us to leave.

I scooped up the girly, scarf covered dog and followed her out, reaching for the light switch as something caught my eye that was laying on the desk.

"Hold up a sec," I said to Swan, and she came back to join me at the door way.

I set Pup down on the desk and picked up the letter that was sitting on top of a pile of papers I'd started going through when I'd gotten there earlier that day, and started reading it silently as Swan peeked around my arm to see what was so interesting.

It was definitely NOT there when I'd first arrived.

_**Dear Mr. Cullen,**_

_**My employer thanks you for considering the situation regarding his missing property.**_

_**This is highly confidential as you can imagine and he'd like a speedy recovery of this item, if you please.**_

_**Enclosed in the attached envelope, you'll find a photo of what you need to find and return to him.**_

_**You have until the end of the week to let me know if you're able to handle solving our predicament.**_

_**Your payment will be sufficient, I assure you.  
**_

_**Thank you.**_

_**~ V**_

"How the fuck did I miss this?" I said under my breath, putting the piece of paper down that Red had obviously left when she's whispered by, opening the envelope up.

"It's from the red head?"

"MMM," I hummed. Swan's eyebrows scrunched together and as I pulled out the photo, my chest tightened.

It was Seth.

"Holy…" I started.

"Shit," Swan finished for me.

She slapped her hand over her mouth and looked me into the eyes before letting her hand fall, and she proceeded to tell me, "Cullen, I talked to Jake today..."

The crease in my forehead caused me absolute pain as it deepened.

"I have some information regarding Seth."

Again...that couldn't be good.

I closed the door, then sat down in my chair and leaned back, clasping my hands behind my neck, waiting for her to spill what could only be some seriously fucked up news considering our luck with shit since beginning our journey in this case together.

* * *

**A/N: Let's recap, shall we? If you've been reading this, it should be making some sense at least, but in case it isn't… let me give you the facts as we know them - **_**for now**_** - regarding Seth:  
1) He may or may not be the child of the Clearwaters back in Port Angeles, who was stolen from them at or around the age of 3.  
2) He was raised by someone who is NOT his father within the DC area.  
3) He ran away from this person when he was old enough to take care of himself on the streets (so he says).  
4) He has a major of lack of enthusiasm to be around COPs.  
5) Someone with a lot of money is looking for him and has claimed him as their "Property"**


	19. Edward Cullen, This is Your Life

**A/N: Chappy song = I wanna by the All American Rejects

* * *

**

**Chapter 18 ~ "Edward Cullen, This is Your Life"**

**PART 1. CULLEN**

"That doesn't make any fucking sense, Swan." I said as I dialed Seth's phone for the tenth god damn time in as many minutes.

_Fucking voice mail!_

"Shit!"

I slammed the phone down onto my desk.

"I'm telling you Cullen, I think it could be him."

I put my elbows on the desk, and my head in my hands, raking them through my fucking hair, absentmindedly wondering how in the _hell_ I wasn't bald at this point in my god damn life from the fucking stress over the past three weeks alone.

"He said he grew up in Washington fucking DC, Swan, not god damn Washington STATE."

"He was _taken_ when he was _three_, he wouldn't exactly remember WHERE he was from."

_Jesus, mother of…_

"Okay," I started, trying to look at this logically. "Let's say it _might_ be him. We can't just… throw that shit at his ass… what if it's NOT him? Then _he's_ disappointed, _I'm_ an idiot, and _Seth_ disappears into the streets… or worse… the fucking throws of Aro god damn _Volturi_."

That shit wasn't happening though, not if I could fucking help it.

"So you think this woman's employer might be Aro then? Really?"

I breathed out, frustrated, because I didn't really fucking know. It just seemed way too god damn coincidental for all this shit to be going on, and then, BAM, mystery red head shows up and wants me to find… SETH?

"Jesus." I mumbled.

Swan put a hand on my shoulder and said "Regardless, we need to find him."

_No fucking shit._

"I know."

She let me sit there for a minute, knowing I needed to calm the fuck down before driving a vehicle at this point, and probably god damn happy as shit that she wouldn't be in the same car as the raving lunatic.

"Let's get out of here. You need to just, go home, let your mind do its thing, and then I'm sure we'll figure something out."

After letting her _completely fucking makes sense_ words sink in for a minute or two, I reached down and picked Pup up again, and this time, we actually made it out of the door.

"Wait." I said, putting my hand on her arm to stop her from walking out of the front doors to my building. "Let me walk out first, and when I'm convinced the cunt fuck isn't around, you go ahead, then make sure you go straight the fuck home and call or text me when you get there."

She put her hand on her hip and asked "Anything else?"

"Yeah, and make sure you get your ass over to my apartment as soon as fucking possible thereafter."

She raised the eyebrow.

Which is never good.

"What."

"You're starting to sound like dad and Jake. I don't think I like it."

I let out a frustrated sigh, yet again, because to be completely fucking honest, I didn't exactly like it when she said it like _that_ either.

But then, part of me was starting to understand why they acted so asinine with her, too.

She's god damn Bella Swan.

"Okay, I take it back…" I waved her off. "Go… be… completely fucking irresponsible and definitely do NOT fucking call or text me when you get home."

She laughed.

"I'll see ya later." I kissed the top of her head and made my way to the Vanquish thinking, hell, even if fucking Newton WAS around, it's not like he wouldn't have noticed shitty shitty bang bang parked right in god damn back of my car.

Don't fucking tell Swan I called her truck that by the way.

She'd slice my balls off and eat them for fucking breakfast probably.

I scanned around anyway, and didn't see his cruiser, so I turned back to the building and nodded as I slipped into the car with Pup and then left, hoping to fucking god she hadn't taken me seriously when I said to go be irresponsible and shit.

"Get a god damn grip, Cullen." I said to myself as I sped through the streets of Annapolis a little too fast for even me. I just wanted to get the fuck home and try to figure out a way to get Seth to call me back, or _something_.

Pup whined a little and I said "Yeah, fucking tell me about it."

"You're lucky Swan strong armed me into agreeing that I'd let you in." I said to Pup as I sat him down, opening up the door to my apartment.

He ran right the fuck in too, like he owned the god damn place.

And jumped right up onto my motherfucking leather sofa.

"I don't fucking think so, mut." I said to him, but he just stared at me with those god damn puppy dog eyes of his and let out a huff as he put his head down on top of his paws.

I shook my head and headed for the kitchen, dropping off the files I'd brought home with me onto the dining room office desk on my way.

The Patron was comin' out tonight.

I reached up for it and the shot glass simul-fucking-taneously and pulled them down with an anxiousness to get rid of the sickness in my stomach as soon as fucking possible.

"It's been too god damn long, my friend."

After two shots of hot liquid alcoholic goodness, I checked e-mail, phone messages, and even managed to cross off a few names from my list of red Ferrari driving suspects before I realized, it was getting pretty fucking late, and Swan wasn't there yet.

"Hmmm."

I looked at the time and then over at Pup, who was all warm and fucking snuggly looking on my god damn couch, sleeping.

"Shoulda known you wouldn't give a flying fuck." I said to him before pulling out my cell phone and trying to give her a call.

_Fucking voice mail._

I was getting really fucking annoyed with god damn voice mail, I had to admit, and if I didn't hear from her soon, I was heading out to find her fucking apartment my _self_.

I sat down on the couch next to Pup and pulled out the Taylor T-5, playing that song that was stuck in my god damn head again, writing some more words down on the now wrinkled pieces of paper I'd been working off of and tried to be a patient motherfucker.

**PART 2. SWAN**

After I raced home and hopped into the shower to shave and get clean after spending endless hours on Cullen's office floor… and couch… and having incredible sex with him on said couch…

…..

What was I saying?

Oh yeah… showers…

Anyway, I got dressed, pulling on some comfy jeans and a "Forks Washington" sweatshirt, and then made sure I threw some clothes and a toothbrush into my back pack for the next day.

It was getting late, I knew Cullen would be having one of his coronaries if I didn't hurry my ass up, so I bolted out of the apartment, and skipped the elevator all together, running down the stair well, out of the front door to my building.

And right smack into fucking Newton.

"Mike!" I screamed, because once again, he'd scared the shit out of me.

"Bella, good, you're ready." He said to me, smiling down at me all goofy like, making me want to… yes, knee him in the balls.

_Huh?_

"Mike, what are you doing here? You really need to stop…" I started to tell him he needed to cease and desist being a STALKER, but he cut me off.

"I'm here for our ride along, Bella, you said you wanted to go on one, remember?" He looked at me like he was confused. Like I was the one that had the problem.

"Our… I thought that was tomorrow?"

He laughed. "It IS tomorrow, Bella."

_Jesus mother of … _

I laughed.

Actually fucking laughed, because I knew, Cullen's coronary was unavoidable now, and he was bound to be highly annoyed with this.

And because I was actually literally starting to sound just like him.

"You still wanna go, right?"

"Um…" I thought about saying no, that I had plans to fuck a very gorgeous man's brains out in a few short minutes, but then he broke through my thoughts again.

"Where are you going, anyway, if you weren't coming down for our ride along?"

_Oh shit._

The backpack.

"I, um… was just gonna go get a drink." I said, because I could have really used one right about then.

"Well, I hate to burst that bubble, but you can't drink on a ride along… maybe later though." He smiled and winked at me and I think I might have puked into my mouth a little bit.

I shivered.

"You cold?" He asked, noticing.

_I wish._

"No, let's go." I said, and followed him over to his cruiser, wondering when exactly I was gonna have the time and privacy to text Cullen to let him know I wasn't gonna make it to his place.

I was absently staring out of the passenger's side window of Mike's cruiser when he snapped me out of my daze, asking "Coffee?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want some coffee… you look tired."

"Oh, yeah, actually, that'd be great."

_Perfect._

I could text Cullen while Mike ran in and got us java, and then he wouldn't have to come looking for me like a raving lunatic.

I figured it was a good plan.

Until Mike pulled up to the drive through window that is.

_Crap._

"I have to go to the bathroom!" I blurted out. It was all I could think of, even though I already knew, I freaking HATED Dunkin Donuts bathrooms.

_ICK._

Mike looked at me like I was a nutcase, which, in all honesty, it's very possible that I was at that point, and said "Uh…. Sure… okay…"

I grabbed my backpack and started to get out while he pulled up some more in the line of the drive through and he asked "What are you taking that for?" Nodding at the bag.

_Because I need to call my boyfriend and tell him I'm on a date with a crazy person?_

"It's…" I smiled shyly and whispered. "That's time of the month."

Mike closed his eyes, turning his head and held his hands up in surrender as his eyebrows shot up, dropping the subject.

_Woman problems. Gets 'em every time._

I laughed while I walked into the store and made my way to the rest rooms, eyeballing the outside where Mike was sitting in line, to make sure he wasn't watching, and pulled out my cell.

"Jesus, he's gonna kill me." I mumbled. I checked the time, and it had already been HOURS since I'd left him at his office.

Settling into a stall and setting my bag down, I placed the tissue paper around the toilet seat and sat down carefully, trying not to rip the paper as I sat there typing my message into the phone.

"Best not to speak to him live…" I said to myself.

"Excuse me?" A voice called out from under the stall.

"UH…. Nothing! Sorry!" I said, shaking my head at how people were so danged nosy sometimes.

I texted him: _Newton showed, don't freak, ride along, remember? Text you later. ~ B_

No sense in freaking him out any more than I already was.

After I'd typed in my message and hit send, I bounced my foot impatiently, waiting for him to reply. Hopefully he wasn't sleeping already.

_Who am I kidding, there's no way he's sleeping._

"Are you okay?" The voice came from outside of my stall again.

Was I NOT thinking that in my head?

"I'm… fine, thanks…"

I finally heard nosy woman walk out and I decided I couldn't wait anymore for Cullen to text me back, so I started packing up and heading out to Mike again when my phone buzzed.

_Be safe._

That was it?

No… "I'm coming to get you right now." Or "Get the fuck away from that crack pot" ?

"Huh."

Maybe he wasn't so much like dad and Jake after all.

The goofy smile on my face as I slipped back into the cruiser with Mike was enough to warrant a raised eyebrow from him, but I didn't bother acknowledging him. I was too busy thinking about Cullen and how he knew I could handle this, despite his feelings toward Mike.

"Here ya go." He said, handing me a cup of black coffee. "I didn't know how you took it, so I just got a bunch of everything."

I took the cup from him and started sipping it.

"Mmmmmmmmm." I hummed, cupping my hands around it like a mini-heater.

Plain black coffee is the best, and it wastes too much time putting all that other stuff in it anyway.

We spent the good part of the wee hours of the morning just patrolling the streets of DC, not much was going on to tell you the truth, but I wondered if that was the norm, or if Mike just took me to the nice parts of town so that nothing exciting would happen.

_No fun, Cullen wouldn't hold back on me._

Around 3 hours later, or what I like to call, 'wake up time', Mike asked if I wanted something to eat and I told him "Only if we can actually get out of this car and stretch our legs."

He laughed. "Tell me about it, babe. Wait till the full eight hours are over and you feel like you don't remember how to walk anymore."

I swear, if he called me babe… ONE MORE TIME.

He took up to a little side café place and it was actually kinda cute. I remember being a little impressed that he hadn't taken me to freaking Perkins, or Denny's.

After we placed our orders, Dutch style of course, and found a table to sit at, Mike advised me that he was off to take a piss and I was left alone with my thoughts for once since the bathroom at Dunkin Donuts.

"Asshole." I whispered to myself.

"I'm not that bad, am I?" A velvety voice said from behind me, and I jumped, screaming and clasping my hand to my chest.

"SHIT!"

Cullen's sexy half smile was beaming down at me along with his brightened, beautiful green eyes that were literally shining, and then he set a single perfect Daisy down on the table in front of me, kissing the top of my head as he took a seat.

I picked it up and took a long deep inhale of its scent, closing my eyes and then smiled at Cullen when they opened again.

"You didn't seem so much like a _rose_ woman to me."

"It's perfect." I said, tiny pangs beating in my chest.

He really was just so, sweet.

The little cook from behind the counter brought over two plates then, set them down in front of us and Cullen took a huge fork full of potatoes off of Mike's plate and shoved them into his mouth, closing his eyes and humming as he did it.

"MM! God, I fucking love this place." He said with a mouth full of potatoes.

"Cullen!" I whisper yelled. And he said "Well I can't take your food, you're absolutely evil with food."

I laughed and shook my head at how he was just absolutely not afraid of anyone or anything, and then the smile faded a little as I followed that thought to the fact that his way of thinking could literally possibly get him killed one day.

"Listen." I started to say as I bent down to get my cell phone out of my backpack. "I have something to ask you about…"

When I sat back up, Cullen was gone. I barely had a chance to look around for him when I noticed Mike was walking back to the table from the men's room.

_Back to boring._

"Jesus Bella, hungry much?" He asked, looking down at his plate that was missing half of his potatoes.

I just gave him an innocent smile and a shrug and hoped he didn't make me pay him back for the missing food.

"Where'd that come from?" He wanted to know, nodding at the Daisy.

"Oh…" _shit…_ "Umm…"

"On the house." Said a voice from behind the counter. The little cook smiled and winked at me and Mike just shrugged and began wolfing down his breakfast.

_Another Cullen fan._

I waved a small wave at the cook who'd just saved my ass and wondered if Cullen knew just how many people in this City were on his side. Or at least, not on the DCPD's side.

I chanced a look around us, but didn't see him. I knew he was somewhere though, and smiled, smelling my Daisy again.

The rest of the morning went by, and although most of it was quite boring as Hell, some of the things Mike told me about the force were very interesting.

Like how there was this core group of cops in his unit that were the Mayor's personal favorites, and that they always got first pick for routes, and cases, and things like that.

And how Emmett, although he used to be close with Edward when they were all in the Academy together, was smart to distance himself from Edward, because he was nothing but a nutcase, and gave Emmett a bad rep for a while.

I had to really fight back the urge to knuckle punch him in the nuts.

"But he just got promoted, so he must be doing something right."

He nodded and said, extremely sarcastically, "He's definitely got the attention of _somebody_."

That was all he gave me though, and I didn't push too hard, not wanting to seem like I was digging for info.

Mike's last stop of the day before taking me home was Arrow Shipping and my chest tightened as we pulled into the parking lot, wondering why in the Hell he'd have to stop there.

He looked over at me with a smile. "Just picking up some packages for the unit." He explained. "Saves us money on delivery costs."

_Hmmmmm._

"I'll be right back." He said, and once he'd disappeared inside of the building, I got out of the cruiser, taking a look around the grounds for some of the women that Cullen and I had been scrutinizing the night before through photos.

Exhaustion was starting to set in from not sleeping all night, and my mind started wondering what time dinner with his family was planned for and whether I'd have time for a nap.

So I texted him, asking about it.

His text back was weird.

_Don't do anything odd, you're being watched._

I laughed and texted him back "I know, enjoying the view?" Teasing him, knowing he'd been following us all morning.

His next text made my stomach churn though. _No, I mean. YOU'RE BEING WATCHED._

My eyes darted around but I didn't notice anyone being obvious about it, then I looked up at the windows of the warehouse and couldn't help but wonder who was standing behind them, looking down.

One more text from Cullen came through as I stood there.

_Dinner's at 7._

I turned the phone off and slid it into my jacket pocket when I saw Mike coming back out with a couple of boxes and I wondered just exactly what he was picking up.

"Told you I'd be right back, Bella…" He said, annoyed.

"Just needed to stretch my legs." I said, and then asked "Can I help with the boxes?"

He just laughed at me and said "Get in the car, Bella."

_Asshole._

As we pulled up to the police precinct for him to check his car in and log off of his shift, part of me wondered how in the hell I was going to get home without him having to drive me, when we ran into Emmett and Edward, standing on the steps, chatting it up like they'd been there for hours.

"Hey, Bells!" Emmett boomed and I couldn't help but smile wide at him.

I also couldn't' help but be amazed at how Cullen could manage to follow us around all morning and still get here, park and hang out like he'd been a lazy ass all day at the same time.

"Just gonna make things worse for yourself if you keep hangin' out with that one, Em" Mike said to Emmett, jerking his head at Edward snidely.

Emmett ignored him, but my lip instinctively went in between my teeth, waiting for an onslaught of fists again and then Edward pushed his self off of the railing, scowled and said "Why don't you go play a nice game of hide and go fuck yourself, Newton."

Mike dropped his bag and puffed his chest up, showing off no doubt.

I rolled my eyes at Emmett, who stifled a smile.

"Fuck you, Cullen, what the hell are you doing here anyway?"

Cullen smirked, that incredible _I wanna fuck him so bad it hurts right now _smirk, and said "Pull your panties out of your ass, Newton, I'm just here to get my last pay check from your boss…" then he added, because he likes to piss Newton off, "You know, for doing your job for ya."

Mike looked like his head was literally going to explode, but then surprisingly, as though he'd thought of something that made what Cullen said okay, regained his control, and picked up his bag, walking away.

He stopped short of the front doors and turned around, telling me "I'll be right back babe."

I cringed, knowing not only did I fucking hate it when he said that, but that Cullen hated it even more, and then just smiled as best I could, waving.

I looked over at Cullen, who was still glaring after Newton. I thought the look in his eyes was bad the other night at his apartment, but this one was much, much worse.

"He only said it to get your goat, Cullen." I told him, trying to calm him down some. He ignored me, clenching his teeth, and I could see his jaw tighten.

Emmett watched him with a confused look on his face, then looked over to me and made eye contact, recognizing the look on my face, probably.

"What is _with_ you two anyway?" He asked, amused.

"Later." Was all Cullen said, as Mike made his way out of the building and back down the stairs.

He passed the Cullen brothers without even an acknowledgement and came right up to me, sliding a hand around my waist, leaning in for the kill. "My car's in the garage, ready babe?"

He made to kiss me. Right on the fucking lips, but I diverted at the last minute and he got a cheek.

I acted embarrassed to show public displays of affection and that seemed to alleviate any questions he had.

He laughed through his nose and said "That's right; I keep fucking forgetting you're… _inexperienced." _

_UUGH! I hate this guy._

Cullen laughed and put his hand over his mouth to hide it and turned away, telling Emmett "I'm out." As he left.

Emmett gave me one last odd look and went up the stairs and I thought, well _fine_, all of the men in my life, leaving me, just when I wanted them to stay.

I shook my head and followed Mike to his car.

Luckily, when he dropped me off, he didn't even get out of his car, he said he had his "thing" to get ready for and that I'd hear from him that week sometime.

Probably trying to play hard to get.

Little did he know, I was okay with that.

In my apartment, I breathed in a nice long breath of freedom from Newton, pulled the Daisy Cullen had given me out of my backpack, put it in a glass of water and set it on the end table next to my couch in the living room.

I sat down, leaning back and closing my eyes, just happy to have been home, and promptly fell asleep, since I hadn't been home all night and all.

**PART 3. CULLEN**

When Swan had texted me saying she was with fucking Newton, I literally, could have fucking crushed a god damn half ton semi with my bare fucking hands, I swear to god.

It was all I could do to leave right then and there, and track her ass down and carry her home with me.

But then I remembered what she'd said about me being like her dad and the BFF… and I fucking refused to be grouped into that fuckery, so I had just texted her back to be safe, and hoped to fucking god she would be.

I still left and followed her ass.

I'm not an idiot.

Most of the morning proved pretty incident free, and I knew this wasn't Newton's actual fucking route, but wasn't quite sure why he'd decided to take her on a different one. Maybe he thought she wasn't up for his fucked up real route.

I laughed, because she could probably handle herself better than him on any given god damn day.

When they stopped for breakfast, I couldn't help myself from picking up a Daisy from one of the street vendors and giving it to her.

Roses didn't seem her style, and the look on her face when she put it up to her nose to breathe it in was well worth the risk of dick-wad catching me there.

Part of me had hoped he would.

The potatoes on his plate were my favorite, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to scoop a fuck ton of those bad boys into my mouth either. The fact that it would piss Newton off was just a bonus.

I liked following Swan around.

Not only was I making sure that Newton wasn't doing anything fucked up with her, but I was noticing all of her quirky little habits as well.

Like the fact that she bounced her foot like a motherfucker when she was waiting for something she wanted to happen.

Or how she bit her nails when Newton was REALLY pissing her off, or the way her fists twitched when she wanted to punch him in the face, but was trying to remain in control of herself.

I had to laugh, because I'd have paid to see her punch him in the fucking face.

I also loved how the little vein in the side of her neck pulsed as she clenched her jaw when someone… or, Newton, was really just irritating the fucking shit out of her in general.

I wanted to smooth it, and kiss it, and maybe nibble on it a little bit.

But I digress.

It wasn't until I realized we were heading to god damn Arrow Shipping and were about half way there, that I noticed… someone else was fucking following them too.

This person didn't seem to realize I was also in tow, so I hung back even further, to see if I could figure out who it was.

But they were good.

Really fucking good.

Not too good that I missed them though.

They had dark tinted windows, so I couldn't see their face, and never got out of the car so I could get a hint of height, weight, or even fucking gender.

Shit for all I knew, it was the same person that was driving our red Ferrari.

Part of me wanted to confront them, the part that was angry, and wanting to fucking pulverize anyone that might even possibly be planning on hurting Swan… but the other part of me, the investigator, wanted to stay in the shadows, and figure out just exactly why they were following Newton around.

Then I thought, _shit_.

Were they following Newton? Or Swan?

And if it was the Swan, an even better question was, how long had this person been following her around? Had they seen us together? Was she being compromised by my need to be with her all the god damn time lately?

_Fuck_.

_Me._

As Newton approached Arrow Shipping, the mystery tail pulled into a dark alley where they could still see them, but wouldn't be noticed, and I stayed far enough away so I wasn't seen, but could still glimpse the cruiser and get there pretty fucking fast if I'd needed to.

My phone buzzed and it was Swan asking what time fucking dinner was.

Was she seriously thinking about dinner at my parents in the middle of this fuckery?

I shook my head as I texted her back to tell her someone was watching her, but she just got all smart assy with me, thinking I was talking about, well… me.

So I texted her again, to set her straight, and she got the hint, taking in her surroundings and being careful not to seem too obvious.

"That's my girl." I said, watching her through the nocs.

I watched mystery car too, and the windows were too dark to see through, but I did catch a shadow. Not enough of a fucking shadow to tell me who it was, but enough to tell me they were taking notes.

"Hmmmm."

I looked at the time and figured Newton would be getting off of his shift soon, so I started the Vanquish up and headed back to the precinct to touch base with Emmett.

As I pulled away, I sent Swan one more text, letting her know dinner was at seven.

"Em, I'm tellin' ya… some shit is going down and I have a bad motherfucking feeling about it." I said to him as we walked out of the precinct building after he decided it was best to get me out of the limelight of his fellow fuck tards from his unit.

"You're not gonna let it go, are you." He said it more like a statement than a question, putting his hand on my shoulder, much like the way dad used to do.

"It's kinda hard to do that when shit keeps falling down at my feet telling me to keep digging." I told him. "You used to be that way too. What the fuck happened, Em?"

He backed me up to the hand railing on the steps and looked me square in the eyes. "I asked you a long time ago to trust me, Edward. I wish you could just do that. For once."

Something about the words he chose gnawed at me. "There's something you're not fucking telling me, isn't there?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I didn't say that." He said, distancing himself from me, arching an eyebrow.

"You didn't have to…" I told him. "No, not something you're NOT telling me… something you CAN'T fucking tell me."

He diverted his gaze up at the building. "You read into shit way too much Edward, that conspiracy theory crap is gonna eat you alive one of these days."

"Maybe, maybe not." I retorted, sarcastically.

The possibilities of what he might have meant by that shit were endless. But I knew Em, he was by the fucking book to a fault, and he wasn't gonna spill if he wasn't gonna spill. He'd just slipped me all the nugget he could get away with, and that was all I was gonna get.

I started to say something else when fucking Newton pulled up in front of us.

"Lovely." I mumbled, and Emmett laughed.

"Hey Bells!" Emmett yelled out, and Swan smiled a genuine "thank god, normal people" smile at him as they approached us.

_Don't say anything, Cullen. Just… go with the flow._

Mike eyeballed me and said "Just gonna make things worse for yourself if you keep hangin' out with that one, Em"

_What the fuck was that supposed to mean?_

I knew I should've just shut my fucking mouth, let Mike be a dick, and then move along, but sure as shit I couldn't help myself.

I pushed myself off of the hand railing and told him to go play a nice game of hide and fuck himself, which he didn't like very much and I'm guessing is why he tried to play his little peacock game with me in front of Swan.

I'd have been happy to give him another elbow in the face. The ass fuck seriously needs to be put down if ya ask me. However, I felt Emmett tensing next to me, so I tried to pull the urge back a little.

I was ready for him, I'd been ready for his ass all fucking morning as a matter of god damn fact.

I didn't have to control myself too much though, because that's when Newton decided to back off, for whatever fucking reason and he headed into the precinct to punch out.

A few minutes worth of chit chat and dirty looks later he was back.

And when he motherfucking touched Swan, and then went in to GOD DAMN KISS HER…. Holy mother of fucking pieces of shit I thought I was gonna pulverize his ass right then and there.

But then when she pulled away and he made that comment about her being inexperienced, I completely lost my shit and had to laugh my ass off.

_If you only fucking knew, dick head._

I decided that leaving was the best course of action, before I broke his god damn arm for slinking it around her the way he did and told Em "I'm out." Then left without looking back again.

That would have been a bad fucking idea.

Besides, I was the lucky motherfucker who was gonna see her at dinner later and then go home with her after.

"She's coming to dinner?" Emmett asked loudly in the middle of our parent's foyer when I said Swan would be there soon. Rose was smirking.

"Yes. She's coming to dinner."

"Who? Bella? You invited Bella?" Alice chimed in, pulling away from the Jazzman for two seconds when she'd heard Swan's name mentioned.

"Yes. I fucking invited Bella."

"Since when are you and Bella…" Emmett started but I couldn't fucking take it anymore.

"JESUS."

My mom was my savior, she always was. "Leave Edward alone, children, if he wants to bring a woman to dinner, he's more than welcome to."

Or at least, she tried to be.

"Which of course wouldn't be so odd in its self, if he showed up for dinners more often." My dad added.

"And you wonder why I don't come more often." I said, cocking any eyebrow, making my way to the liquor cabinet, chuckling a little at my unintended fucking pun.

Emmett followed me.

"Edward, what the hell is going on dude, first Bells is with you at your apartment, then she's out with Newton, on three occasions, now she's coming for dinner? I'm not gettin' it."

I poured the shot of Patron, and then let it slide down my throat before answering him.

"There's a shit storm a brewin' Em, it's like, god damn Wyatt Earp in D motherfuckin' C or somethin'."

He made a face. "I could do Wyatt Earp." He took a shot glass and filled it up, then mine again and we clinked glasses before slamming those.

"I'll be your huckleberry." I said to him in my best doc holiday voice, as played by fucking Val Kilmer.

He snorted and shook his head. "You can't be Wyatt Earp _AND_ Doc Holiday in this scenario, Ed."

"Why not? You're a pussy and a dick at the same time."

"Ass."

I laughed, and then he did too as Jasper, Alice and Rose joined us then, while mom and dad got dinner onto the table in the dining room and I wondered if fucking Swan was gonna ditch me again.

Hell, maybe Newton decided to take her to the _soiree_ at the Mayor's after all.

_Fuck, I hope she put a bug on._

The doorbell rang and I let out a sigh of relief. Because seriously, I didn't really want her anywhere but with me, no matter what kind of fucking information she might have gotten from that fuckery.

Emmett went to answer the door but I pushed him aside and he laughed at me while I opened the damn door.

She looked fucking flawless, as per god damn usual.

"Sorry I'm late." She said. "I fell asleep."

I smiled and pulled her into me. "No doubt." I said, before kissing her lips.

I let them linger for a while, my tongue gentle played with hers and I just drank in her scent, before hearing a cleared throat behind us, and breaking away from her finally.

"I've been wanting to do that all day." I whispered to her, and she bit her fucking lip.

My dick twitched happily and I was pretty sure that by now, she was doing that shit on purpose.

I guided her into the house and everyone said their hellos, the girls getting big hugs, Emmett whirling her around like she was a fucking teddy bear, and Jasper kissing her on the back of her hand, eliciting a blush that kinda fucking pissed me off, to be honest with you.

_Fucking Texans._

"My parents are in the dining room, you're actually right on god damn time, Swan." I said, pulling her by the hand and closing the door behind her.

I scanned the front area to make sure I didn't notice any fucking sneaky ass tails hiding in the shadows, and I felt pretty confident no one had followed her.

It was a private community, and had a car pulled through that wasn't previously approved, we'd have gotten a call.

"You didn't notice anyone behind you on the way did you?" I asked Swan, tucking a stray piece of hair around her ear, and she said no.

"Great." I said "Now we can enter the lion's den without worrying about the Hyenas."

Swan laughed a sort of nervous laugh, because she fucking knew I spoke the truth about that shit. I wasn't exactly planning on the evening being "fun", if ya know what I'm sayin'.

"Come on, Edward," Emmett nudged me. "It's not that bad, dad's just…"

I fucking cut his ass off before he had a chance to defend Carlisle for all his shit fuckery double meaning, back handed compliments that he was always dishing out.

"A tad bit over fucking bearing?" I asked and he just laughed through his nose, putting an arm around Rose and said "Let's get this show on the road then, people."

We all entered the dining room and sat down, opposite each other at the table. That was the way mom had always had us sit during big functions. She said it was much nicer to get through them when you can look into the eyes of your soul mate, sitting across from you.

I watched Swan as she took her seat, laughing at something Jazz man said into her ear, and wondered what exactly it felt like to have soul mate.

When she looked up to catch me eyeballin' her, smile still wide, eyes bright, my chest tightened and I felt my palms get a little fucking sweaty, and I thought maybe, there might be a slight possibility, that I already knew.

Which made me stop and scowl my ass off for a minute there.

I was in the middle of an inner fucking dialog about that shit when I was very god damn rudely interrupted.

"So, Edward, what brings to you our humble abode this evening, something you have to tell us?" Dad laughed at his own poke of fun at the fact that I never came around and I caught a glimpse of Alice who was trying to tell me not to fucking ruin the evening by being a dick, so I smiled.

Fucking smiled, and said "Good food."

Everyone laughed and the Swan was looking at me with the weirdest god damn look on her face as we started passing shit around and diggin' in to mom's meal.

It was fucking flawless, my friends.

I'd forgotten just how fuck awesome my mom's cooking was, and decided that maybe it was worth putting up with dad for a little while to come eat with them a few times a month, futuristically speaking.

I was enjoying the shit out of just sitting there, laughing at my brother and sister's lame attempts to zing me on movie quotes, and watching Swan fit right in with everyone, including my damn dad.

Which was odd.

We were all finished eating, and mom and dad were in the kitchen, cleaning up some shit, not letting anyone help them, just like I remembered, and the six of us were laughing our asses off at Emmett, who thought he was really fucking funny, impersonating yours truly, impersonating Sylvester Stallone.

"I don't fucking sound like that, Em." I said, half annoyed at his horrible impersonation, half stupid with alcohol, amused at his corny ass.

"Oh my god, you _totally_ sound like that." Alice chirped, wiping the tears away from laughing so hard.

"You know it's the truth, Ed."

"You can't handle the truth, Em." I said, trying to sound like Jack Nicholson from a Few Good Men.

"You're a pistol, you're really funny, _really fucking_ funny." Jazzman added, and my respect for his ass went up tenfold, realizing he'd watched Goodfellas and liked it enough to memorize Ray Liota lines.

Then Emmett picked up a piece of food off of his plate that wasn't quite devoured, and held it up in front of his face, inspecting it, and said "You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?"

I chuckled, rolling my eyes at his lameness, knowing that one like the back of my fucking hand, but it was Swan that piped up first.

"A Royale with _cheese_." She said, all totally fucking Vincent Vega like and shit from Pulp motherfucking Fiction.

I looked at her with what had to be the dumbest looking grin on my face, amazed that she knew that quote and she said "What? I watch movies, ya know."

Eddy Jr. was doing a happy dance like a motherfucker and I had to adjust myself before forcing myself to speak and not just fucking sit there like an idiot.

"Okay." I said, waving a hand for her to bring it. "Let's see what you got, Swan."

Rose was trying really fucking hard not to smirk, and Emmett covered his mouth. He knows I'm the motherfucking king of god damn movie quotes.

Alice rolled her eyes and said "here we go." While Jasper leaned back in his chair, taking another swig of his beer, ready to enjoy the show.

Swan looked at me with narrowed eyes, like we were Clint Eastwood and Charles McGraw in fucking 'Hang Em High' or some shit like that, making me wanna whip my Colt out and… do bad things to her, so to speak.

She took a drink of her beer, set it down gingerly, then said a simple line, all seductress like and fucking what not. "Are you alone?"

I smirked. "Aren't we all?"

She quirked an eyebrow and I asked her "Is that all ya got Swan? Fucking Chinatown isn't exactly Indie, ya know."

She rolled her eyes and made eye contact with Alice who mouthed something to her and I said "No cheating, Alice."

Swan held her hand up and said "It's all good, Alice, I got this." Then she looked at me and smiled.

"Harry and Dorris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest." She said it in a very monotone, very eerie motherfucking voice. It fucking gave me the creeps to be honest with you.

_Huh?_

I furrowed my brow at her, completely dumb-fucking-founded that she might actually have stumped me, and Swan smiled, showing all her teeth.

I was about to ask her what the fucking movie that was from when Alice giggled, saving my ass.

"Edward doesn't watch TV, Bella." She said, all making fun of my ass and shit, doing that voice that women do when they're impersonating men, but they really don't fucking sound like men at all.

You know what the fuck I'm talkin' about.

Swan looked at me like she'd just realized something beyond comprehension.

"Never?"

"Not in the last..." I thought for a minute. "Five years at least." I said, drinking the rest of my beer down and then getting up to grab another from the ice chest. "Anyone want another?" I asked the table, and everyone did, making it fucking hard as shit to actually drink my own.

I walked around the table to pass them out and the Swan kept diggin'.

"You've never seen Dexter?"

"Who the fuck is Dexter?" I asked, Emmett's shoulders were bobbing up and down hard and Rose just rolled her eyes, hanging her head while Jasper and Alice smiled politely but didn't insult my ass by saying anything.

"He's a … nevermind… what about True Blood?"

"True what?"

"True _Blood_…. With Vampire Bill? And Eric?" She asked, then did a funky ass impression of, I don't fucking know what, saying "Sookay!" at me.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

I laughed at whatever the fuck accent she was trying to impersonate and said "Vampires, Swan? Seriously? You disappoint me."

"It's not _just _about _vampires, _Edward." Rose chimed.

"Yeah, there's werewolves too! And shape shifters!" Emmett said excitedly, and I cocked an eyebrow at his sorry as for watching something like that.

Swans mouth had dropped open a little bit, but then she took a deep breath and said "Okay, okay, I have one for you, mister, 'I don't watch TV' high and mighty…"

"Go for it." I said, finally sitting my ass down, slouching down into the chair to drink some more.

"Punch of salt."

Oh, no she fucking didn't. Breakin' out the fucking Donnie Brasco shit is like _begging _for trouble.

"Punch?" I asked, and she smiled.

"Punch. Punch of salt." She was completely playing Al Pacino to a god damn tee and I was losing my shit.

Emmett was in full on chuckling his ass off mode, knowing she was only fucking quoting one of my all time favorite motherfuckers, and Rose slapped his arm when he almost knocked her off of her chair.

"Punch or pinch?" I asked, Johnny Deppin' all over her Al Pacino self.

"Punch, punch. Not pinch. What'd I say? I say pinch?" She asked.

_Perfect. Motherfucking. Impersonation._

"Nah." I said. "You said… you said _punch_."

She looked at me for a minute, and shook her head.

"Sometimes you don't make no fuckin' sense, Donnie." She ended and I literally, wanted to just tell everyone at that god damn table we'd be back in an hour or so, drag her ass up the stairs to my old bedroom, and fuck the living shit out of her for quoting god damn Al Pacino like that.

I'd made up my mind, at that point, once and for fucking all.

Swan was coming to dinner with me at the parents from then on.

"Nicely done." Alice said to her and I nodded before taking a drink of my beer, tipping it to her in the process. She twisted her mouth and said "I fucking love Al Pacino in that movie."

Hard ons at the dinner table at mom and dad's… not cool.

Eating in peace didn't fucking last long.

It never does.

Carlisle was entering the room again and said in a low voice to me, "Mind if we have a word, Edward?"

_Of course. _

Here we go.

"Dad, come on." Emmett said, but Carlisle stopped him. "I just want to clear some things up with Edward, Emmett, this is still my house you know."

I sighed, finishing my beer off and getting up from the table. "It's cool, Em." I said, thankful that he seemed to actually be defending my ass for once in about the last, oh, _five years_.

It seriously warmed my motherfuckin' heart people.

I asked Swan "You okay here for a few minutes?" And she nodded, smiling at me, then I followed dad into the other room.

He didn't waste any time.

"Edward, I was speaking with Lieutenant Muldoon this week, he said there's going to be a spot on the force next year and I thought maybe you could test for the…"

"Dad." I said, interrupting the shit out of him. "I have a job."

He seemed to take his time before beginning again, sitting down in his leather arm chair while I stood there, crossing my arms at him.

"Edward, I need you to understand that I love you, son."

"Uh huh, you love me, check." I said sarcastically, waiting for the punch line.

"It was pretty clear to all of us that you left the Academy and became a PI to prove Jess's death wasn't accidental, which you clearly haven't been able to prove…"

Where the fuck did he think he was going with this shit?

"Maybe in the beginning dad, but it's more than that now, it's my fucking life… and I happen to be pretty god damn close to proving that it WASN'T accidental for your fucking information."

I was getting pissed, and he was now giving me the god damn pity look. "How many times have I heard that?"

I laughed bitterly at him. "You know what, I don't give a shit if it takes me till I'm god damn ninety years old dad…" I started, but my mind instantly began wondering again, if Jess was even dead…

"I don't know what stops you from putting your trust in the Mayor, he's hired plenty of capable…"

"The fucking Mayor?" I laughed hysterically at that shit. "Are you kidding me with this shit, dad?"

"He happens to have cleaned this city's crime up better than any other mayor in YEARS, Edward."

"That's because HE IS the city's crime, dad."

I was getting pretty loud, and then I heard a softer voice coming from the doorway. "Edward."

It was Swan, and she was carrying her coat.

She was a genius of a woman, ladies and gentlemen, what can I say?

"Gotta go, dad."

"Edward, wait…"

"Waiting's overrated, dad… I stopped waiting about four years ago."

It was the last thing said between us and I grabbed my jacket, waving goodbye to Alice and the Jazzman when I noticed Em was already gone.

"Where'd Em go?" I asked, and Alice shrugged, leaning her head onto Jasper's shoulder. "He got a beep, left with Rose like, about a minute ago."

I nodded, and put my arm around Swan's waist, leading her out to the front yard, sucking in a long deep breath of cold fucking air.

"Just because he sucks at being a dad, doesn't mean he doesn't love you, Edward."

She said my name like it belonged on her fucking lips, and I didn't respond.

'Cause what the fuck do you say to that?

The meaning of her words didn't have a chance to sink in this time, because I noticed Em and Rose were at his car, and walked over to say goodnight. They were talking about something and all I caught was Emmett whispering "Newton's cruiser" when they saw us approach and stopped talking abruptly.

I scowled at him. "Where ya off to, Em?"

He just smiled at me. "Work."

_Hmmmm._

"Your shift was over five hours ago."

"Side job."

_What? _

"What fucking side job? Since when do you take side jobs?"

He laughed. "Since I need some extra money." He kissed and hugged Swan and punched me in the shoulder, opening Rose's door for her, then made for his side of the car when I stopped him.

"You're full of shit, Em, what's up?"

The smile faded from his face and he got all kinds of fucking serious on me, saying "Edward, remember our conversation earlier? About trust?"

_Jesus mother of fuck me._

"Yeah."

His smile returned and he put his hands on each of my shoulders, looking me in the eyes. "Find it, bro."

_Cryptic, much, Em?_

People were really starting to test my fucking patience with this trust fuckery.

He lightly slapped the side of my face, brotherly like and shit, and then slid into his car and left.

I was standing there watching him drive away when the Swan slinked her hand around my arm and tugged at me a little bit.

"Come on, Cullen, let's go."

I looked up at my parent's house one last time and then followed Swan to her car to make sure she left without anyone lurking around.

Watching her drive off, I made sure I was comfortable that no one had following her off, then I took my time walking to my own car.

I felt something shifting again inside of me.

It didn't give me a very good god damn feeling, to tell ya the truth.

But something about having Swan there with me to go through whatever the hell it was I was about to go through made things seem a little fucking easier, somehow.

And I was grateful as a mother fucker for her ruining my photos that day that seemed like a pretty fucking long time ago in my office all of a sudden.


	20. Another Day, Another Death Threat

**A/N: Chappy song = Solar Midnite by Lupe Fiasco

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**Chapter 19 – "Another Day, Another Death Threat"**

**CULLEN**

The days after leaving dinner at my parents went as fucking follows.

Basically, anyway.

Had incredible god damn mind blowing sex with Swan at my apartment.

Wondered if I'd ever be able to fuck her out of my system.

Doubted it.

Swan went gala-fucking-vanting with Newton the next day, couldn't hang around for breakfast.

Punched a hole in the drywall next to my front door after she left that morning.

Plastered the fucking hole.

Called Seth again, got voice mail, _again_, so I sent him a text, telling him to fucking call me.

Wasted some time while Swan was gone, tracing down all of the women working for Arrow and narrowed my red Ferrari driver down to two female employees, then planned on tailing their asses.

Put a call in to the Jazz man, asking him if I could borrow his night vision shit, but he said Alice needed it.

I didn't ask why.

Pup chewed up my god damn sofa.

I threw Pup out of the fucking apartment for chewing up my god damn sofa.

Bought a new sofa off of the net. Paid a shit load of money to have it delivered that day.

Swan was MIA for about four god damn hours one night when she was supposed to be at my apartment, having mind blowing fucking sex with me.

Found Swan, at the god damn police precinct when Emmett called to ask me why she was with Newton again after dinner with the parents.

I told him it was complicated and asked what the fuck he was up to again, he blew me off and said he had to go.

Swan met me for a late ass dinner after I picked up some food from a local fuck-awesome fire brick pizza place, then we tailed said female employees of Arrow Shipping.

Neither one of them were suspicious in any god damn way, hence making them suspicious in my motherfucking book.

Swan brought Pup back into the apartment, along with some fuck ass smelling chew toys that she'd purchased for him.

I cursed. _A lot. _But con-fucking-ceeded to her sexy ass.

Made a mental note that Swan likes to use her mind blowing fucking sex skills against me in any god damn way possible.

Pup fell asleep on my fucking bed and I let him stay there after she convinced me I was a horrible human being for even thinking about tossing him out into the cold weather.

By the time the weekend had rolled the hell around, I'd decided to tell mystery, rich as a motherfucker who offered me twenty-five grand to find Seth, to fuck off, I was too god damn busy to '_find his property_' for him.

I changed my mind once I thought about how he'd just get someone else to find Seth, and that at least if he thought I was looking for Seth, I'd have a little more control over the situation.

I'd trolled the fucking streets, asked around about him, checked some homeless shelters, hell I even strong armed some of those fuck heads I'd seen him hanging out with on occasion, threatening to take them into Em's precinct if they didn't spill, but no one had seen him.

Pre-fucking-sumably.

I tried every god damn angle I could think of to get a hold of the kid, but he was one stubborn little shit, and just wasn't fucking calling or texting me back, so I went all desperado on his ass.

First, I made a call into the Jazzman and asked if he could spend some time watching the city's traffic cams to see if he caught a glimpse of Seth somewhere.

Then I texted Seth one last time and just laid it all out there.

_You need to contact me, unknown money offering big bucks to find you, I can keep you safe._

I had no fucking idea if he'd believe me or not, hell I had no idea if _I_ believed me, but I was half way confident he'd still had his phone at least, since he'd come to take care of Pup for me when I left for NYC.

I just hoped to fucking find him before the unknown money man figured out what I was up to.

What the plan was past finding Seth, I had no god damn idea.

Victoria had this way of sounding highly fucking bored with my ass, and yet, completely god damn interested in knowing why I wasn't producing any leads on Seth yet.

"Mr. Cullen. It's been four days, _surely_ you should have some leads by now."

_Fucking tell me about it, Red._

"I told you, I'm working on it, but if this kid doesn't wanna be found, he's not gonna be found."

_I should have fucking found him by now._

"We're paying you a lot of money. Mr. Cullen, You _don't_ want to disappoint my employer."

She wasn't lying; the money she'd transferred had already cleared my account. An unknown, or rather, un _told_ account name showed up on the deposit.

I was seriously considering re-fucking-fusing the deposit.

"Yeah, what exactly is his name again?" I asked, attempting for the umpteenth time to get a hint of who I was "working for" from her.

"I'll be checking in with you again tomorrow, Mr. Cullen. I _highly_ suggest you have something of note to report to me."

_Was she threatening my ass?_

_Seriously?_

She hung up before I'd had a chance to retort, and I looked over to Swan, who'd taken the listening device out of her ears already and just shook her head at me.

This bitch was smart.

She was like… the uber-bitch.

She never stayed on the line long enough with me to trace her fucking calls, and she never used the same phone number twice.

"FUCK!" I slammed the phone down and threw it across the room and Swan said "Cullen, destroying personal property is not gonna get Seth back."

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking.

"Why isn't he calling me back?" I was really saying it to myself, but the Swan answered me any fucking way.

"Maybe it's not safe for him to come out of whatever it is that he's hiding."

"Okay…" I thought for a minute to myself, before deciding to think _out loud_ for all to hear my insane thought process.

"If his phone is OFF, and let's just fucking assume that it is… they can't trace the pings I'm sending him except to MY phone… and that's _if_ they have my number, which, fucking knowing them, they do…" I walked across the room, pacing. "… and if they know what phone number _he_ has, they could trace any call or text _he_ makes, which actually makes him a smart little shit for not returning any of my calls."

Swan was watching me, I could feel her, and when she finally caught up to where I was with that fuckery, she asked me "How would they know what number he has?"

_Good god damn question._

"I don't fucking know that they do, but he might just be as fucking paranoid as…" Stopped myself, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the thought. "Some… other people."

Swan giggled and I scowled at her, then she covered her mouth to hide the fucking giggles, which made me fucking smile despite the annoyance I was feeling at that moment.

"Anyway…" I said, absently, walking over to the front window to stare out of it.

"He's fucking out there, Swan." I said, still staring.

"I know, we'll find him." She said.

"No, I mean…" I pointed. "He's fucking _out there_."

Seth was standing across the street, watching my building from an alleyway, covered by the shadows. He hadn't seen me yet.

Swan hurried over to the window and looked down and said, "You go, I'll keep an eye on things here."

"You sure?" I asked her but she pushed. "Yeah, I'll just slow you down."

So I fucking did.

I ran out, grabbing the Colt as I left, because who the fuck knows who or what I might run in to out there.

I took the back, around the fucking block route, to get a jump on him in case he was planning on running, and walked up behind him as he shuffled his feet and looked up at the window to my office every once in a while. I looked up too, but didn't see Swan in the window.

She was up there though, watching. She was just that good.

"Plannin' on making a god damn visit any time soon?" I asked him, and he jumped the fuck out of his god damn skin, spinning around on me with a fucking knife in his hand.

A real fucking knife this time.

I caught his wrist as it sliced at the air right in front of my fucking face, and he looked at me, sighed a breath of relief, then relaxed, so I let his hand go.

"Didn't we cover this being a good way to get yourself killed, kid?" I asked him. "And who the fuck did you think I was, anyway?"

He shoved the knife into his back pocket and began walking with his head down, past me and down the alley where I'd just come from.

I followed his ass.

Where exactly did he think he was gonna go, anyway?

"Seth."

"I can't stay here Edward, if you've seen me, that means they have."

"Yeah, and fucking speaking of which, you wanna fucking tell me who THEY is, by the way?"

He stopped but didn't turn around. "Look… I really appreciate what you're doing, what you've done for me and tried to do for me and all, but… I really gotta get outta dodge, Edward. I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Seth." I grabbed his arm before he could take off again. "Fucking talk to me, this is what I do, I'm good at it, I can fucking help you."

_Could I fucking help him? _

_I couldn't help Jess._

"No, you can't."

_Yes I could._

"Listen, at least tell me you still have the god damn phone."

"I came here, didn't I?"

_Good point._

"Okay, listen, keep it, and I'll communicate with you that way, alright? If you can't reply, that's cool, but keep the fucking phone on you."

He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at it for a minute, then slipped it back in and said "Okay."

"Give me some time, Seth, don't take off. Just… fuck. Wherever you've been, stay there, sit tight, and when you decide you wanna talk, let me know somehow."

"Okay. Sure, Edward." He answered, then started walking again and I turned to walk back to my building.

When I got up to the office, Swan was sitting at my fucking desk, like it was hers or something, organizing shit in a nervous kinda 'I fucking need something to do or I'm gonna scream' way. Which meant it would be highly motherfucking un-organized for me later.

I let her do it, it made her fucking happy.

"Think Jake can use this?" I asked as I set some hairs down in front of her that I'd grabbed off of Seth's jacket, and she looked up at me questioningly.

So I shot my eyebrows up and gave her a look right the fuck back and said "You know, for Seth's DNA cross check."

She smiled and picked up the sample I'd laid down, putting them into an envelope. Then she got up and called Jake on her phone, arranging for it to be shipped out to him, A-S-A-motherfuckin'-P.

I crossed my arms and scowled down at Swan, who was twisting her mouth, waiting for my answer.

"We're going, damn it." I said, laying down the fucking law, once and for all. Because it was late, and in all god damn honesty, this fucking venture Swan had taken me on, was exhausting as hell and I was ready for a fucking shot of Patron, some good music, and perhaps some mind blowing god damn sex before passing the fuck out for the night.

"_Come on_."

"I don't fucking think so."

"It's not an alien space form, Cullen, it won't hurt you, in some cases, it can even _enhance_ your life."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Definitely buying into THAT, my friend."

"But it makes more sense… if we leave now, we'll…"

"Nnnnnnope."

"Come ON, Cullen… _pleeeeeasse_?" Swan put her hands together like she was praying and stuck her bottom lip out, batting her fuck me eye lashes at me about a hundred miles an hour.

I sighed, because fuck if I wasn't becoming the world's biggest god damn pussy whipped motherfucker for giving Swan everything she fucking wanted.

Eventually.

"So…." The salesman prodded and I let out a highly fucking annoyed sigh, waving a hand at him. "What the fuck ever, whichever one she wants."

The smile on Swan's face… ire-fucking-placeable, I gotta say.

I had to laugh and just shake my head at her sometimes.

She'd managed to talk my very sorry ass into purchasing a TV for my place, so that when she stayed over, she could watch those fucking mind numbing shows she was talking about at my parents house the other night.

I pretty much figured I'd be caving anyway, because it was either this, or have her leave and go home to watch said mind numbing fuckery, and that just wasn't fucking acceptable.

"I'll go get the truck!" She screamed, bouncing her way across the linoleum flooring in the store.

Yeah, that was the other thing… I knew we'd need her fucking truck for this shit, that was painful all in itself, driving twenty miles an hour under the god damn speed limit, but shit, she'd picked out the biggest motherfucker I'd ever seen, including the one at Emmett's that night he wrangled me into playing Wii.

As I followed the sales dude to his cash register, I eyed the gaming systems that were piled up on the shelving and laughed, shaking my head in remembrance of that night with him.

It _was_ kinda fucking fun.

When Swan pulled around back, I was waiting, with my bag of shit I'd purchased for the TV. You know, Blue Ray, some movies that were my fucking favorites, surround sound, Wii…

What?

If you're gonna do this shit, you should do it motherfucking right.

Right?

She looked at me, with curled eyebrows and a smirk like no other. "What's that?" She asked, eying my bag.

I wrinkled it shut, explaining very matter of factly, "It's you know, for Seth, for when we find him… kids like games, right?"

She didn't even bother trying to hide the smile on her face.

I was glad, I liked it when Swan smiled.

She got out of the truck, helped me and the shipping warehouse guy tied the fucking TV down in the back, then hopped back in the driver's side.

"You want me to drive?" I cleared my throat and asked her nonchalantly, hoping to get us home before the next god damn millennia.

"Settle down, Cullen." She answered, sliding behind the steering wheel.

It had only taken us about an hour to get that fucking TV up to my apartment, and part of me was one bitter motherfucker for agreeing to buy that thing.

I thanked whatever fucking gods were listening that I had no immediate plans of moving in the near future, because if I was, that bitch was staying with the apartment.

It looked pretty god damn good in the living room though.

The surround sound was gonna have to wait, Emmett was better at that shit than I was, and he'd get a kick out of this system, and probably go out and buy one even better. Because he was a competitive motherfucker.

I laughed thinking about that shit and the Swan asked "What's so funny?"

I shook my head and just gave her a smirk as she grabbed a blanket and a couple of beers for us while I put our inaugural movie, "Double Jeopardy", into the Blue Ray player.

Swan had never seen it, surprisingly, and fucking Tommy Lee Jones was a bad ass motherfucker in that movie.

Ashley Judd wasn't terrible to look at either.

What? She's a great actress.

And has nice tits.

But I digress.

I kicked my shoes off and pushed them up against the wall, then the socks came off, because my feet get motherfucking hot as hell at night for some reason, that's why.

I removed the button down I'd thrown on that morning, folding it over the desk chair in the dining room, leaving just the white wife beater I had on underneath.

Swan's bottom lip was doin' it's thing and I smiled, laughing a little through my nose at the way she still fucking blushed, even now, after some of the things I'd done to her in bed.

I mean seriously, you'd think she'd be past that shit by now, but hell to the no.

And I fucking loved it.

I fell onto the couch, and pulled the blanket back, inviting her wordlessly to join me, and she did, snuggling her ass up in front of me as we leaned against the arm rest.

We clinked bottles and took our first sips of some cold ass, good god damn beers as the movie began.

I closed my eyes, letting the alcohol take the shit fuckery away with it as it traveled down the back of my throat, and when I opened them again, I noticed Swan was doing the same god damn thing, and I felt like she literally, could have fucking been my other half from some other god damn universe or something.

I leaned down to her neck and kissed the shit out of it.

Just because.

Pup made sure to jump right the fuck up onto the couch and make his self comfortable behind my legs, on top of the blanket, trapping me there until I would eventually decide to kick his ass off, which wasn't a smart thing to do unless I was up for sparring 101 with Swan.

And not in the good way, if ya hear me.

Anyway, a few beers and about two-thirds of the way through, Swan finally spoke. I was surprised, 'cause that fuckery had me asking all kinds of god damn questions the first time around.

What she asked wasn't what I was expecting though.

"Is that really true?" She asked, yawning her ass off, making me yawn, as we lay spooning on the couch together. She was lying in front of me, with her head against my arm that was tucked underneath its self; my free hand's fingers were trailing up and down her arm as it lay along her side.

I could smell her Lavender hair shit every time I took in a deep breath.

"What?"

"If someone is presumed dead, then it turns out they're not, and you kill them, can you be charged?"

Why did I have a funny fucking feeling about her reasons for asking that question?

"Not exactly."

She turned around so she was facing me then. "Why? What's different than what she did in the movie?"

"She was officially charged with his murder the first time around… she can't be charged for the same murder…" Then I added. "And anyway, Jess wasn't murdered according to the investigation."

Swan's eyes fell, realizing I knew what the fuck she was getting at.

"Aren't you angry?"

"About?"

"If it's her, I mean. You know, playing you? She's really no better than Aro, or the Mayor." She was getting a little tense and I wondered, why the fuck all the questions about that shit.

"_If_ it's her, the first thing I'm gonna fucking do is ask her what the fuck she thinks she's doing…"

"And then?"

"And then… I don't fucking know, Swan. I've been trying not to think about the 'then' in this story."

She let out a heavy sigh and closed her eyes, snuggling up to me a little more, and I squeezed her to me tightly, kissing her forehead before tucking her under my chin, staring at the end credits as they rolled up the screen.

_What then, indeed, Cullen._

That was the last thought I remember having as I closed my eyes for just a second or two. The next thing I knew, it was morning, and I was Swan-less. A-fucking-gain.

Pissed? Me? _Nah._

I reached over and blindly grabbed my iPhone off of the table and texted her ass: "you could _at least TELL me when you're gonna take the fuck off."_

The Swan's god damn response: "_Didn't have time, and you looked too cute to wake up."_

"_Are you with Newton again?"_

She didn't reply, and I raked my hand through my hair and over my face, breathing out hard.

I was about to text her ass again a few minutes later, but that's when the front door opened, and she appeared with a couple of cups of coffee and fucking breakfast.

"You really should grocery shop every once in a while, I hate having to get clothes on first thing in the morning on the weekends."

I smiled and reached for one of the cups of coffee she was handing me. Glad as fuck that she hadn't taken off to see that douchey, can kiss my ass, doesn't know how to fucking act like a human god damn being motherfucker again.

"I feel privileged." I said, being the sarcastic motherfucker that I was, sitting up, rubbing the back of my neck because sleeping on the couch like that wasn't exactly the most comfortable shit in the world.

"Oh yeah?"

"I mean, usually by now, you're off…" I waved a hand at the door and she didn't let me finish, setting the bag of excellent smelling Egg Mc fucking muffins down on the table, and climbing on top of me.

"Jealous, _baby_?" She asked, teasingly, taking my caffeine away from me slowly, and setting it next to our breakfast.

She was full on fucking straddling me now, and my hands found their way into her coat, underneath of her shirt, and rested on her hips, my thumbs rubbing the soft, warm skin there as she bent down to kiss just below my ear.

"I don't get jealous, Swan, I get even." I told her, playing tit for fucking tat with the kissing.

"Mmmmmm..." She moaned. "Oh, yeah? Just how were you planning on... _getting even_ with me, Cullen?" Licking a little around my ear lobe.

"Fuck." I said for no god damn reason as I grinded her harder onto Eddy Jr. and said, "I wasn't planning on getting even with _you, _Swan."

She laughed. "Well, today…" She kissed a little lower. "I'm all…" _Lower_. "Your's." She whispered into my ear, and my eyes closed, fisting her shirt then, and I pulled her little body down on to Eddy Jr. so she could see just exactly what a god damn vixen she was and she smiled against my lips as she kissed me.

Our tongues did the tango and I shoved the coat off of her arms while she managed to reach for my jeans and un-button them.

"Mmm… we have a lot of fucking work to do today, Swan." I mumbled half fucking heartedly, because to be quite god damn honest with you, part of me… the lower part to be fucking exact, didn't really wanna go anywhere.

"I vote…" She kissed me slow and soft. "We take…" Another kiss, placed strategically just under my jaw. "The day off."

"Hmmmmm." I had to at least SOUND like I was debating whether that was a good god damn idea, right?

"Come on, Cullen." She said seductively, as she lowered the zipper on my jeans.

"Might… need… convincing." I managed to get out in between the nibbling that she was doing on my bottom lip, my hands were already finding their way to her bra, un-hooking that fuckery, because shit, what exact god damn business did it have being on her anyway?

Her fingers slid down easily to wrap themselves nicely around my boy and stroke him with her magnificently fucking talented hands before sliding my jeans all the way down and off of me.

And oh yeah, her lips quickly fucking found my dick, and it was god damn heaven, my friends.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuck." I moaned out, and she giggled a little, letting her hair fall down around her, tickling my stomach, and I flinched.

Only a fucking little bit.

"Jesus…" I said, as she slid her mouth up and down, slowly, softly, sucking a little when she'd meet the tip.

I truly both loved and fucking hated the fact that Swan could wrangle god damn shit from my body that no other woman had ever been able to wrangle before.

Like the shocking sensation my stomach ached with, every fucking time her mouth met my dick… or any other part of me for that matter.

It really wasn't just a dick thing, I fucking swear.

Or how just the way she looked at me sometimes, made me wanna hold her ass, just hold her. I mean, where does that shit come from?

Seriously.

She was working her evil god damn ways all over Eddy Jr. and I was just… about… ready… to explode, when there was a fucking knock at my god damn door.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I breathed out, but Swan, she just kept on going.

"Fuck."

"Edward?" Alice called from behind the damn door.

"YEAH!" I choked out, while Swan worked Eddy Jr. out like a motherfucker.

_Knock knock._

"BE RIGHT… _Fuck!_" I screamed out as Swan started kneading my balls… _nice_.

"What?" Alice asked, still knocking.

Swan moved a little faster and I put my hand to my mouth, biting down on the knuckle. "MMMmpph!"

"Edward! What's goin' on?"

"SHIT! COMING! FUCK!" I moaned loudly as I came, and Alice called back "You don't have to be such a jerk!"

_Oh, but I do, Alice._

I almost laughed as Swan fucking drank me up, causing me to buck and twitch till she was done with her… talents, then she leaned up to me, smiling like a motherfucker, and put her lips to mine. "Good morning by the way."

"You… are so…. fucking… bad." I said to her in between kisses. And shit if I didn't love that about her.

_Knock knock knock._

I breathed out. "Jesus!"

There had to be a place I could move to where my family didn't have a clue how to find me.

I jumped up, slipping my jeans back on and walked over to the door raking my hand through my hair and opened the damn door.

"Do you NOT know how to call before you come over?" I spat at her, because seriously, she had just fucked up my whole, vacation sex day with the Swan on a major fucking scale.

Alice laughed, pulling Jasper in with her and said "Well I… Oh." She saw Swan finally, sitting on the couch, shoving an Egg Mc-fucking-Muffin into her mouth and finished with "OH… I'm so sorry Edward, I had no idea, I mean, you don't usually… you know…"

She knew I never brought women here.

I rolled my eyes at her, "Yeah, I know."

"Bella, I'm so sorry…" She started to tell Swan, who was chugging her coffee now, and I had to laugh at her ass.

"Oh…" She answered, swallowing the hot liquid down and burning her throat. "It's no big deal, we were just…"

She didn't get to finish, because I did for her "Trying to get our freak on, before you very fucking rudely interrupted."

Swan blushed like a motherfucker, giving me a very, very dirty look, but Alice just laughed and apologized again. "I'm really sorry, it's Jasper's fault actually though, he wanted to stop by and give you something."

I turned to the Jazzman then. "Oh yeah? What up?"

He pulled out some photos for me and handed them over. "That kid you're trying to find, I got some snaps of him from the traffic…" He looked over to the girls and corrected himself. "From some surveillance cameras."

I started looking at them, and the street names from where they were taken, and scowled a little.

Okay, a lot.

Jasper was looking at them over my shoulder. "He jumps around, never really sticks to one spot… I don't know how much luck you're gonna have, but maybe you can like… randomly check these places."

I huffed, and covered my mouth with a hand, thinking.

Fucking Seth was avoiding someone. Or _someones_.

Including me.

"So, who is this kid, Edward?" Alice asked, looking at her nails. "And why is he so important that Jasper's hacking into the city's traffic cameras?"

She looked up to find both Jasper and I, with very stupid looks on our faces and then Swan laughed.

"She IS your sister, Cullen…"

This was true.

"He's a witness, I think… a very key witness, in a case I'm… we're…" I waved between Swan and I "working on."

Alice raised an eyebrow, and smiled at me. Whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean, and said "Well, we should get going then, and let you two… work on your case." She winked at Swan and hugged her before getting up to leave.

"Alice." I said, stopping her before she left.

I wasn't sure how to word the next line out of my fucking mouth without sounding like a dick, but she had to get a heads up. "People can't… know about… Swan and me… okay?"

I didn't want her saying shit to anyone at the Ram's Head. Not that she'd be saying anything maliciously, but she likes to fucking talk, and all it took was one wrong person to hear something about us and it was all over.

Alice looked back at Swan, who had another mouth full of Egg Mc Muffin, looking at Alice apologetically, but understandingly. Then Alice just said "I get it." And left.

Who the fuck knew what she thought of that shit. Probably that we were sneaking around behind Newton's back or something… But I couldn't fucking worry about that shit right then.

"There goes our vacation day." I said, sitting down next to Swan, grabbing my own Mc fucking Muffin out of the bag. She took the pictures out of my hand and started looking at them, leaning back into the couch while I ate.

"He looks so scared."

And with that, I put the fucking food down, losing my appetite, and got up. "I'm gonna grab a shower, you should too."

"Aren't you gonna…"

"Nope."

I didn't say anything else, there really wasn't anything else to say. But I did need to get the fuck out there, find god damn Seth, and make sure these assholes were taken down before they decided to fucking hurt him or something worse.

In the shower, I let the hot water scald me, so the reality of the fucking situation at hand would sink the fuck in, and so I could focus.

Making a list in my head, I went over the shit I needed to get done, and get done fucking fast.

Red Ferrari driver would have to wait, she wasn't important anymore.

_For now_.

Since the Mayor's wife's DNA wasn't under Lauren's finger nails, I needed to find out who's was. People I needed skin or hair samples from included Newton, The Mayor, the head of Arrow Shipping himself, and possibly Muldoon.

If I could narrow shit down to one of those ass fucks, I could wrap this shit up, put someone in jail, then get shit squared away with Seth, and if I had to, get him the fuck away from this city.

By the time I was out of the shower, Swan had left.

There was a note at least, this time.

It said she was running home, and would meet me at my office.

I filled Pup's water and food bowls, and told him to stay the fuck away from my god damn couch, and headed out, making sure I checked all my points of interest with my renewed, fresh fucking to-do list.

I don't know where the hell Swan had hid _Shitty Shitty_, but I was glad she'd had enough fore-thought to _not_ park somewhere out in the open, and I didn't even have to get out of the fucking car, because she was waiting for me, on the curb outside the shop across the street from my building.

We managed to check on just about every god damn intersection that Seth's picture had turned up on in the pictures Jazz man gave me, and turned up with fucking nothing.

Needless to say, I was god damn frustrated beyond belief.

Swan distracted me by bringing up the DNA samples we needed again, and I talked to her about getting some sort of sample for me from Newton. She said there's no way it would be a problem.

I didn't exactly like the sound of that shit fuckery, but it wasn't like I was gonna get a sample.

I figured it'd be easy enough to get one from Muldoon on my part, but the tricky ones would be Arrow and the Mayor.

There was no way I was getting anywhere close to Arrow without a welcome committee, but was pretty sure she could get in there and get something. He'd seen her with Newton, which means he wouldn't see her as a threat.

I know, I couldn't believe I was thinking that shit either.

We also ended up managing to fit some fun into our day, so that our vacation day together wasn't a complete god damn waste.

We had lunch at a place I knew about outside DC limits, but not too far away, where Jess, Em and I used to eat sometimes just to get the fuck away from the shit heads at the Academy for a little while.

On the way there, another memory snuck up on me before I could fucking shake it.

_OY'm 'Enery the EIGHTH, OY am!  
'Enery the Eighth OY am, OY am!_  
_OY got married to the widow next door,_  
_She'd been married seven… TIMES before…_

It wasn't bad enough Em was singing that shit, very fucking horribly might I add, but then Jess joined in for the end.

_And everyone was an 'Enery_

_ENERY! _Em yelled, and I just fucking had to laugh. They sang faster.

_She wouldn't have a Willie or a Sam (OR SAM!)_  
_OY'm her eighth old man named 'Enery!_  
_'Enery the Eighth, OY am! _

_"Oh my fucking GOD will you guys SHUT IT!" I screamed, trying to get them to hear me over their third rendition of that fuckery._

_We laughed and Jess yelled "OH! Let's eat at the crab place!" As we were about to pass it. "PLEASE!"_

_"Your wish!" I swerved over three lanes of fucking traffic and pulled into the parking lot, horns beeping, tires screeching, but we were fine._

_Seriously._

_"Is my command, Jess." I finished as I pulled into a parking spot._

_Jess was looking all twisted up about something and I asked "What's up?"_

_"I think Newton's got a crush on someone." Em teased as we were getting out of the car. Newton had left some flowers for Jess on her seat in a class that day for all the world to see, we all knew who'd left them. _

_For some reason, the dick-wad thought if he liked you, you were his, and no one else had dibs. Period._

_Idiot._

_Jess gave me a look and I smiled at her and said "Yeah, I've been trying to tell him to back off, I don't date dudes, but you know…" _

_Emmett punched me in the arm and we all laughed again, then Jess piped up about it, shaking her head, frustrated a little. "I keep telling him I'm just not interested, but he thinks I'm playing hard to get."_

_"Want I should teach him the English language, Jess?" Em asked, dancing around like a boxer, punching the wind._

_She smiled while I held the door open for her, telling Em, "Nah, he's harmless, I'm sure he'll crush on someone else soon, and I'll just be another girl, who'd lost her chance with little Mikey."_

_"Well," I said, as I followed the both of them into the little restaurant. "Ya got the little part right."_

"Helllooooooooo." Swan was calling out to me, snapping me back to reality. "What the hell is that goofy look for?" She asked.

It faded a little.

'Cause fuck, I missed Jess hard sometimes, but then I brightened up a little, looking over at Swan, and said "Just… thinking about something that happened a long time ago." Before looking away again.

I could feel her staring at me.

"Did you and Jess used to come here?"

I swear, every time someone said her name, it was like a hole was being burned into my chest.

And how the fuck did she know shit like that anyway?

"Yeah." I answered her as we pulled into the parking lot and I found a spot.

Before we got out of the car, Swan put a hand on my arm. I couldn't even fucking look at her, but she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and said "Thanks for sharing this place with me."

She let herself out and waited for me, and I was left sitting there for a minute with my thoughts, and a burning god damn electrical current running through me where she'd touched me.

It felt, _good_.

I wasn't expecting much from the experience at lunch, but we actually ended up having a pretty great god damn time there. They obviously didn't serve fucking crabs in the middle of winter, but they still had other good shit to eat, and we ate, a fucking lot.

My appetite had returned since the morning, and Swan and I tried zinging each other with movie quotes.

She could fucking hang for the most part, but in all honesty, no one can ever REALLY hang for the long run with me, so in the end, I changed the subject and asked her what movie she wanted to watch later.

"Dexter's on tonight, no movies, you're going to join me in my addiction with a serial killer who kills serial killers."

I let that shit sink in for a minute, and then said "I hate to say it, but that's fucking brilliant, I think I could get on board with that fuckery."

Seriously, why hadn't anyone thought of that before? I mean, there were plenty of fucking assholes I could think of that I wouldn't mind offing and getting away with it.

I gotta fucking admit, I felt pretty god damn good by the end of the day.

I'd dropped Swan off at the Mayor's house and she literally didn't even have to see the Mayor to get his DNA sample, because she'd managed to ask the front desk if she could use the bathroom, and just did her sneaky motherfucker thing, and had swiped some hair follicles from his coat that was hanging in the designated coat closet.

I laughed, thinking about that shit, and her sneaking her sexy ass around there, working her magic mojo shit on the guards and what not.

"You're keeping all these hair samples straight, right?" I asked, because we still hadn't dropped Seth's shit into the mail to get it out to Jake yet.

Sure, I coulda sent it to the people I use, but Jake was out there with the people who may or may not be Seth's parents, and had local connections, so it was more likely that he'd get a quicker response.

"Of course I am." She answered sarcastically, slipped the hairs into another envelope, and marking it "MAYOR FUCK HEAD" which I rolled my eyes at and said "So immature."

She laughed and we moved onto our next stop, which was Arrow fucking Shipping.

That was the one place that I had to say, made me nervous. I didn't know exactly what the fuck happened behind the warehouse walls there, but I knew it couldn't be good, and my hunch that Aro might be the rich as fuck dick head looking for Seth, wasn't making me have the warm fuzzies about Swan going in there alone.

But, you know… I trusted her and shit.

So I dropped her off as far away as I could and watched her the entire time, making sure no one was suspecting her of anything, or following her needlessly.

_And speaking of which…_

I took a good look around to make sure no one was following ME at that point, thinking of the person, whoever it was, that was following Newton and Swan the other day.

I saw no one, and made an assumption that they must have been following Newton, which meant someone out there knew he was dirty.

That little tid-bit of information was swirling around in my head when Swan finally made her way back outside, and walked off into a completely different direction than the Vanquish.

I texted her asked "_where the fuck are you going?" _and started the car up, guessing I'd have to drive around till I fucking found her ass.

Someone or something must have given her a bad feeling in there to make her walk the fuck around by herself in an area where it was highly possible for someone to make her disappear, so to god damn speak.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I got a text back and found her, in a phone booth a couple of streets over.

I made sure I didn't see anyone suspiciously following her ass and pulled up to the curb beside her.

I rolled down the window and said in my best Al Pacino voice, _ever_… "Ay." And she bent down, looking into the car, lowering her sun glasses just a tad.

I nodded and asked "Choo wann' take a ride in my luuuuuuuuv ma-chine, Baby?"

She eyed the car, twisting her mouth and raising an eyebrow as though she was debating if my fucking car… the VANQUISH, was a love machine…

_HA!_

"I guess." She said.

_Smart Ass._

She pulled the door open and slid into the car, looking around it still, looking like that fucking cat that swallowed the motherfucking canary, if ya know what I'm sayin.

"What the fuck are you smiling at, Swan?"

"You know, you never did prove that back seat to be big enough for a backseat fuck."

My mouth dropped a little at that shit, 'cause I can't say I was fucking expecting THAT to come out of her mouth, but hell, if she wanted proof…

"Watch out!" She screamed and I swerved, missing oncoming fucking traffic by like, no god damn lie… dick hairs.

You really gotta fucking pay attention to shit on the BW Parkway, my friends.

"Okay, I'm gonna have to ask you to fucking refrain from making any kind of sexual innuendos on this god damn road, Swan, and … We'll talk about the back seat later."

She laughed as my cell vibrated and I looked to see who was calling, hoping it was Seth, to no fucking avail.

Hell I'd have taken god damn Tanya over this call.

I scowled at it.

"Who is it?" Swan asked, curious at my expression no doubt.

"Red." I said, answering the call, looking over at Swan while I took our exit off of the Baltimore Washington Parkway.

Her eyebrow did its arch thing and I asked Red "How'd you end up with my cell number?"

"I have to be able to get in touch with you when I need to, Mr. Cullen. It was rude of you to not give it to me in the first place."

"So you hacked it."

She didn't answer me.

Swan was biting her lip and I was trying to figure out a way to keep Red on the fucking phone long enough to trace that shit but it was no use, I knew I wasn't gonna be able to get up to my office, hook the tracing mechanism up and get her locale in time before she hung up again.

"Have you found our property yet, Mr. Cullen?"

"Okay, first of all, stop referring to a fifteen, maybe sixteen year old kid as a piece of property, and secondly, now it's OUR property?"

I parked the Vanquish and Swan and I got out and started up to my office building.

"Have you or have you not found the boy, Mr. Cullen? It's a simple question."

Fuck. What the fuck do I tell her? If I say yes, she'll want him brought in, if I tell her no, I'll get cryptic mind fuckery again.

I went with "It's complicated." As a rude motherfucker bumped into me, leaving the building in a big god damn hurry.

"Watch the fuck where you're going." I said to him, and then held the door open for Swan as I watched him walk quickly down the street, an odd kinda fucking feeling creepin' up inside me.

"Make it un-complicated. Soon. Or maybe someone will need to be looking for you." Red said, and I let out a chuckle.

Swan gave me an odd look and I held a hand over the phone's mouth piece, telling her "She says she's gonna make me disappear."

Swan didn't like that I was making light of these shit heads, but fuck, what the hell else was I supposed to do? Cower?

Screw that.

"You might want to re-think your sense of humor, Mr. Cullen." Red told me as we made it to the top of the stairs and I furrowed my brow at Swan.

"Uh huh." I answered, covering the mouth piece again and whispering to Swan, "She says I'd be smart to take her seriously." Swan shook her head, pursing those perfect fucking lips at me, because she at least, WAS taking Red very seriously.

"Re-thinking sense of humor, check." I said into the phone, and Red ended our call with. "Tomorrow, Mr. Cullen. You will produce the boy tomorrow."

Then she hung up on me, again.

"Fucking rude." I said, and ended the call, laughing at the fact that these people actually thought they were gonna fucking bully my ass in to doing ANYTHING, as I opened the door to my office, letting Swan go in before me.

Then ran right smack into her.

"Swan," I laughed. "What the fuck are you…" Then I saw what she'd seen.

Fucking boxes upon boxes, marked quite god damn clearly on the sides, all with out of country shipping labels on the tops of them.

My stomach sank, and I felt like I was slipping into the fucking Twilight Zone or some shit like that when Swan finally spoke and broke me out of my daze.

"What is all that?" She asked, looking around us at all of the boxes that were stacked against the walls neatly.

Fuck head that likes to run into people flashed in my head as I opened one of the boxes, finding lots and lots of fucking guns.

_Fuck. And me._

"There's a slight chance I'm mistaken, Swan, but I'm pretty fucking sure it's smuggled fire arms."

"Annnnnd, it's all here, in your office, because?"

_I wish I fucking knew._

But then, thinking back on the conversation I'd just had with Red, I was pretty sure I knew why they were here.

I opened my mouth to say something but that's when I heard them.

Sirens.

Lots and lots of fucking sirens.

"Shit." I mumbled.

"Cullen?"

I turned and started grabbing a few things out of my desk, then stuck a disk into the slot of my computer and hit a few keys while I went to the file cabinet to get some extra ammunition out of the top drawer.

"What are you doing?"

"You need to leave, Swan… Like now."

"Okay, well hurry up and we can…"

"No, I mean YOU, need to LEAVE… NOW. They won't suspect you have anything to do with this, unless you're caught here."

"Cullen, I'm not…"

I grabbed her by the arms. "Swan, I will get in touch with you a little later, somehow, but you are NOT getting pegged with this shit."

She just stared at me for a minute, and I nodded at the door for her to get a fucking move on, and she finally did, slowly.

The sirens were closer, probably on my street by now.

"Faster, Swan."

"What about…?"

"Just… call Emmett… tell him this is bullshit… I'll call, later, I promise." I swore to her, knowing I was lying my ass off, but needing her to get. The fuck. Out of there, and she was finally gone.

I sighed as I pulled the disk out of my computer, slipped it into my bag, along with my Colt, extra ammo, and some other, things I figured I'd probably need, and left the office as I saw red and blue lights flashing through the front window.

I started to go down the front steps but it was too fucking late for that shit, because about five Maryland Troopers were already heading into the building and up them, so I back tracked and headed for the stair well.

That would have made for a great god damn get away.

Except that there were fucking cops coming up the back stairs, too.

"God damn motherfuck… cocksucker!"

I really didn't like thinking about having to get the fuck back out onto a ledge, but thankfully I didn't have to, because the good news was, I knew exactly which fucking window had a fire escape attached to it.

The bad news was, I had to go through a police officer to get there.

I really don't like causing physical harm to men of the law. Warranted or not. It's very ugly when they decide to pull out their tazers.

I closed my eyes, focusing on what really needed to be done, and just bolted for the other side of the hallway.

As I crossed over the stairway opening, where the troopers were running up them, I kicked it into over drive as they all yelled to one another and I distinctly heard one of them calling into their walkie that "The Suspect was spotted and cornered."

Well that couldn't be good.

It was pretty much what I had fucking guessed, but it was totally screwed, hearing that word come out of someone's mouth with regards to yours truly.

I bolted through the window at the end of the hallway, closing it tightly behind me, and shoving a pen into the corner of that motherfucker before sliding down the railing of the fire escape, and then darting down the side alley to where I knew the Vanquish was.

Only the fucking troopers were way ahead of my ass on that idea.

They'd already booted the god damn bat mobile, and I needed another way out.

Fucking fast.

The metro station wasn't far, if I could just make it there, and get the fuck on a train before they could, I might have a chance at finding out how the FUCK someone had gotten all those boxes of god damn fire arms into my office.

The who wasn't so hard to figure out.

Or at least, the options of who. I'm sure they all had a fucking number and were standing in line to screw me right up the ass at some point or other.

By the time the troopers were back down the stairs and outside looking for me, I was heading below ground and jumping on the first train that stopped.

It didn't really fucking matter to me where I was heading.

What mattered was that A) Swan was safe and sound somewhere, and B) I found some time to figure out my next god damn move without getting dragged to jail.

I didn't stay on the train too long, because I knew it was only a matter of fucking time before they started searching there.

Once I got off, the sun was setting already, and it was getting god damn cold out.

I'd turned my phone off so it couldn't be GPS'd, and so Swan wouldn't try to find my ass by text harassing me all god damn night.

I walked for what felt like fucking hours, just trying to get as far the hell away from the city as possible, and yet, I was still in the god damn city.

_DC that is._

It was the worst of the worst parts of town in my humble fucking opinion, but I didn't give a shit. I needed to god damn think and figure the fuck out how I was gonna get myself out of the shit storm of fuckery that had just been dumped on my head.

_It wasn't her. Don't even fucking go there._

I sat down near a site that looked pretty much like what you'd expect the old fucking hobo towns looked like back in the god damn 40's and shit, and sat my ass down on the curb as close to the fire that was being huddled around as I could without being noticed.

There was an old dude sitting across the street from me, playing a ratty old piece of shit guitar. He was really god damn good and I wondered if he was some fucking _used to be famous_ dude who'd finally had enough of the high life and paparazzi and just said fuck it, I'm livin' on the streets.

I could seriously see that shit happening too, just him and his guitar, taking off.

"And they never heard from him again." I whispered.

I bent forward, putting my arms on my knees and just let my fucking head hang forward, closing my eyes, letting out a long god damn breath of air, wondering how the hell shit got this fucking deep, when a familiar voice came from behind me.

"You look like you need a place to stay."

I fucking laughed through my nose, and lifted my head a little bit, staring off across the street, passed 'used to be famous guitar playing dude', at the dilapi-fucking-dated building these people no doubt slept in at night.

It just fucking figured.

The last god damn place on Earth I would of fucking looked, and here he was, offering ME a place to sleep.

"I think you need to start giving me some god damn answers, Seth." I said to him, finally looking up to make eye contact.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and then sat down next to me and said, "Yeah, I know."


	21. The Sacrificial Swan

**A/N: Chappy song = Waiting for Superman by the Flaming Lips

* * *

**

**Chapter 20 ~ "The Sacrificial Swan"**

**PART 1. THE SWAN**

_Head down, don't look them in the eyes, walk purposefully._

I recited the words my dad used to drill into me when he was teaching me to avoid attracting attention to myself in big cities with lots of crime.

I was also trying to keep myself focused on what really needed to be done as I walked out of Cullen's office building. Turns out, he was right, the police officers didn't even seem to pay any attention to me as I exited, they were only concerned with getting in and getting up the stairs to make their collar for the day.

It seemed that they knew he was there.

As I passed a big guy with more than one gun already drawn, my chest tightened and I stumbled a bit as I heard him say something to his partner.

"This oughtta be an easy one, he's got nowhere to go, place is surrounded." They were laughing and I felt _really_ sick to my stomach as I arrived at my truck.

I took a look around at the activities around me.

I saw another officer putting a contraption on Cullen's tires. It didn't look like that car was going anywhere anytime soon and part of me wondered if I should stay, wait for him and be like, I don't know, the get-away car… _truck_… or something, but I also knew I'd be no good to him if I was taken away in hand cuffs, too.

I really hoped that cop was wrong.

Knowing Cullen, he was.

I jumped into the truck and started her up, and luckily, it only took one try. Then I started reciting to myself, a list of things I needed to do.

"Mail the sample, get to Cullen's apartment, save his files… shit, shit, shit! Where am I?"

I took a frantic turn, trying to remember how the hell to get to Cullen's.

I was shaking.

"No, first call Emmett… then Cullen's apartment…. Wait, maybe Cullen's apartment first… SHIT!"

I needed to focus… I couldn't fucking focus!

"C…call Emmett…" I breathed out, knowing that was right, because once I spoke to him, knew that he knew his brother wasn't involved in illegal fire arms, that…

_Was he involved in illegal firearms?_

He hadn't actually denied it, but still, I couldn't believe I'd actually let my thoughts go there.

_No, no way, he's not involved in this. _

OK.

_Call Emmett._

I pulled out my phone and dialed the number to his precinct with a shaky hand.

A young sounding officer answered the phone on like, a half a ring. "5th precinct."

I cleared my throat a little. "Detective Emmett Cullen, please?"

There was a pause and then he said "He's unavailable right now."

_Weird._

"I'll hold."

More pausing… "Who's calling?"

Shit, I had no idea how to handle this, if I told them who I was, would they get suspicious? Would they even know who I was?

_Fuck._

"It's his sister, it's kind of important."

"His sister."

"Yes."

"You mean the one that's standing right in front of me?" He said, all, snarky like and shit.

_FUCK! _I totally sucked at this.

I hung up. I panicked, okay?

Okay, I figured Alice must have already known if she was with Emmett, I mean, why else would she be with Emmett?

Right?

I tried to take some calming breaths of air, holding tightly onto the steering wheel. I couldn't lose it, and I needed to make some things happen first.

_Mail the sample._

As I approached a FedEx drop box, I slowed down and pulled up to the curb, ran around the front of the truck and dropped the Seth Sample off so it would at least make its way out to Jake soon. Then I called him and left a voice mail on his cell phone to expect it.

"Jake…" I sucked in some air and tried to remember to breathe. "It's Bells. I'm sending you a hair sample of Edward's friend, Seth, it needs to be checked and…" Then I remembered something, and wanted to ask him about that too. "Hey do you remember a guy named James…"

_Beeeeeeeeep._

_FUCK!_

I'd try him later. That wasn't exactly a conversation I could have with his voice mail box anyway.

I tried Cullen's cell next, but he'd turned it off or something, because it went straight to voice mail.

"Cullen… Edward… I hope you're okay." I didn't really know what else to say at that point, so I just ended with, "Call me."

I ended the call, then lowered my cell phone, laying it in the seat beside me and just stared out of the front windshield ahead of me blankly, as the road twisted and winded around between the bare winter trees that had no leaves left on them from the harsh weather.

_No life left. _

God, I had no idea what I was doing.

I wished I'd known for sure that he'd gotten out of there.

There was really no way for me to even know if he was dead or alive at that point, I mean he's fucking stubborn as shit and probably wouldn't have fought a hundred police officers to his own death as opposed to letting them take him in for something he hadn't done.

_Idiot._

I wished he wasn't so damn hard headed, and that I wasn't so attached to him so I wouldn't be worrying so much right then.

_Wished I wasn't in love with his stupid ass._

I was suddenly kicking myself over the fact that I'd had a chance, time and time again, to tell the man exactly how I felt about him, and I'd blown it, time and time again.

Either I was too mad, or too dumbfounded, or too orgasmic… there was always _something_.

Now there was no guarantee at all that I'd ever have the chance again.

I knew exactly what it was for me, the problem was, it wasn't like Cullen was the type of man that probably wanted some whisper of a woman telling him "oh, Edward, I love you so, stay with me forever."

I laughed, because that's exactly what _he'd_ probably do if I ever confessed to him just how deeply he'd been affecting me lately.

I cursed myself after that thought, because you'd think I'd know better than that, after mom died, it was clear to me how important it is to tell people you love them, whether they reciprocate that love or not. Everyone needs to know they're loved.

I was regretting not staying and getting him out safely, and then realized, there WAS something I could do for him, and decided, I definitely needed to get to his apartment before the cops did, so that's where I headed.

"Hi Pup." I said to him quietly, as I entered Cullen's place. I rolled my eyes because he certainly hadn't upgraded his locks since giving me a hard time about picking them at his office.

Pup lifted his head up off of his paws as he lay on the couch, comfortable and unaware of the crap that was happening with his owner.

I felt bad for him, and figured, maybe I'd take him with me too, when I left Cullen's and headed home.

I eyed some of the photos on the shelving in Edward's apartment. They were of him and Emmett, and Alice of course, when they were younger, and he was sporting the biggest, most goofy smile I think I'd ever seen on him since meeting him.

I smiled at them a little sadly; I was distraught that I hadn't seen that smile on him in person.

It absolutely pained me to no end that he'd been hurt over and over and over again in his life to the point where he really just didn't see much good in the world anymore.

I wanted to cry right then and there.

I forcibly snapped myself out of it, and focused on the task I'd come to perform.

Over at Cullen's file cabinets, I pulled a bunch of them out of their hanging folders and started packing them into the truck. When I went to make my second run, Pup had run out of the apartment.

"Pup! No!"

_Crap!_

He took off around to the back alley and then I didn't see him anymore and I huffed, thinking that poor dog was gonna get himself killed one day, being reckless like that, just like Cullen.

I filled the truck up as best I could with things I figured Cullen would need from his place and then took it all back to my apartment.

I got a call from Mike while I was on my way home, and I got the willies as I answered the call, knowing exactly why he was calling.

"Hey Mike." I tried to sound chipper, as though I knew absolutely nothing of the obvious set up that had been performed on Edward.

"Bella." He sounded urgent. Well wasn't that just so thoughtful of him. "Just thought I'd call and let you know, you might wanna stay away from Cullen for a while."

Yep, he was definitely in on what was going on.

"Emmett? Really?" I was pushing his buttons, but it was fun.

He huffed and continued, "No, Bella, the OTHER, Cullen."

"Oh yeah?" I said, teasingly. "Why? Are you… _Jealous?_"

_Playing dumb is an art form, you know._

He laughed seductively, and I thought I was gonna throw up. Then he said, "No, babe…"

_BLECH!_

"I mean, like, dude finally lost his mind, Bella. We just raided his office… he's been smuggling fire arms, and had them stacked to the ceiling… right there, for all the world to see… I mean, who does that?"

He laughed and I thought, what an exaggerating little shit, they weren't STACKED to the CEILING.

_Jerk._

"Well, what does that have to do with me?" I asked, trying to get any and all information from him as possible.

"Well for one thing, he's considered pretty damn dangerous. And he has some weird, fascination with you… I don't like it."

"So then..." I said, letting out a breath of air as I said it, hoping that meant...

"Yeah, he got away, he's armed too, Bella, the guy is two shades grey of crazy, I tell ya."

The whole thing just sounded… _bad_… when Mike said it for some reason.

"Wow." I said, because nothing else was coming to me to be quite honest.

"Yeah, so how about if…" He hesitated. "I maybe, you know… come over to your place later, and make sure your place is secure and stuff…"

_Oh god. _He sounded so… disgustingly HOPEFUL.

"I don't think so, Mike." I laughed.

"Bella."

"Mike, listen, I know you mean well, but I don't need protection… and… I have plans tonight anyway."

"Oh yeah? What are you doing?" He asked it accusingly, like if he didn't know I was doing something, that was just totally unacceptable.

_Ass._

"It's really none of your business, actually." I was getting defensive, and that wasn't going to end well if I kept that up, so I added, "I mean, it'd ruin the surprise if I told you."

That made him happy and he finally said, "Okay, well, call me when you're home safe."

_Sure thing, dick head._

"Okay."

I ended the call and when I finally got home, I put Cullen's things away where they wouldn't be noticed if someone happened to come by. It wasn't hard to hide them, to be truthful, my place was such a mess, no one would feel like routing through all of it just to find some files, they would very easily be mistaken as my own.

I sat down on my couch and rested a little while, trying to figure out my next move, and it was an odd feeling, trying to do all this alone, without Cullen there.

I silently imagined him sitting next to me, scowling and saying "Suck it the fuck up, Swan."

Then I laughed, because I probably would have said "Fuck you, Cullen." And then he'd say "Now?" And then I'd say…

I put my hands over my face, and moaned, frustrated at the whole… STUPID situation.

My phone rang and I jumped, hoping to god it was Cullen, but it wasn't.

"Alice. What the hell is…"

"Hi mom." She said, and I figured she must have still been at the police station with Emmett.

"Okay, I get it." I thought for a second and said, "I'll ask the questions, you answer what you can."

"Okay, mom, I know, it's hard on all of us."

What the hell was I supposed to ask? OH! "Do they have any idea where he is?"

"No, mom, they don't know where he is."

Crap, that meant she didn't know where he was, either.

"Have you heard from him?"

"Mmm… no, I don't think so."

_Shit._

"Listen, you have to tell Emmett for me, from Cull… from Edward, he said to tell him this is all bullshit, and not to believe anything he hears."

Okay, I ad libbed that last little bit, but it was true.

She didn't say anything, so I did. "Alice?"

"Yeah, I'll tell him mom." She finally answered, then whispered, "It's not looking good for him."

Man, that wasn't good. "Alice, I don't know what to do, we separated, and I have no idea where he was heading, he said he'd call but he hasn't called and I am totally FREAKING OUT here."

I dragged my hand through my hair, and had to stop myself from continuing the babble fest I was embarking on, and then Alice finally said, "I'm sure it'll work out, mom. Try not to worry."

I breathed out and said, "Okay, Alice, listen, thanks for calling, I'll let you know somehow if I find anything out."

"Okay, we'll talk soon." She said, and then the call ended and I decided to head back over to Cullen's house to try and grab a few more of his things, but the police were already there, taping his door with that annoying yellow "do not cross" tape.

I scowled, and thought, I couldn't just walk up there and ask questions, they'd get too suspicious, and that would be disrespectful anyway, barging in on their investigation.

So I did what any truly great private investigator would have done in a situation where they were trying to work cohesively and cooperatively with the good police officers who were trying to set her boyfriend up and maybe even _kill_ him when all was said and done.

I sat and waited for them to leave.

THEN I would go in.

**PART 2. CULLEN**

"Holy mother of shit storms, this is so much worse than I thought it was." I said, after Seth gave me the details on how not only had he been raised by someone who was working for fucking Aro god damn Volturi, but had actually worked in the fucking warehouse, witnessed drug deals, watched people get executed, done… shit that twelve year old kids should NOT have had to fucking do, and then lived on the god damn streets avoiding the Volturis for what now, a year and a half?

_SHIT._

Not to god damn mention the fact that he held a very important piece of fucking information for me with regards to a certain deadly god damn explosion that occurred there, killing Jess.

I pocketed that shit away though, it would have to wait till later.

My head was fucking… pounding.

I still wasn't about to tell the kid anything with regards to what Swan had told me about the Clearwaters over in Washington State.

_One god damn mystery at a time, Cullen._

"I'm… really fucking sorry, Seth…"

He laughed, "Don't feel sorry for me, Edward, it doesn't do any good, trust me."

"I'm gonna get you outta this mess, I promise."

He laughed harder that time. I could see the doubt in his eyes. I couldn't blame him, I didn't even really know if I believed me.

_Swan would believe me… _I thought to myself, realizing I truly didn't know if I'd be seeing her again. I mean, there was no way I was dragging her any further into this fuckery than I already had.

I laughed through my nose at the irony of how the last thing I'd said to her was a god damn lie.

_"I'll call you later."_

Yeah that wasn't gonna happen, and yet I found myself pulling my cell out to see if she'd called, and sure enough, she had.

Seth was still talking, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"You're gonna what, hide me from the _Volturi_ family for the rest of my life? Or…" He laughed again, "What about the police that work for them, Edward? Your BROTHER is a cop… it's only a matter of time before they get to him too, then what?"

Well, when you put it THAT way…

God, he sounded just like me.

"Emmett's not that kinda cop, Seth."

He rolled his eyes and stood up. "You look like hell, Edward, want a place to sleep?"

_Fuck yes, I want a place to sleep._

I pushed the PLAY button to listen to voice mail and heard her shaky, worried voice on the other end, telling me to call her. I saved it to listen to again later.

If I was being completely fucking honest, I _wanted_ to call Swan, is what I wanted to do.

_Stop it, Cullen, leave her out of it._

"What I really want is to figure out who put a shit load of illegal fire arms in my office today. Know anything about that?"

He twisted his mouth and said, "Nope, sorry."

I'd figured as much, but it was still disappointing to fucking hear.

_But I bet I know who the fuck could get me some god damn answers._

"Any way you can get me over to a friend's house, undetected, Seth?"

He smiled and asked where I needed to go. I gave him the part of town and it wasn't long before we were off and running.

And when I say running, I mean, literally, we were fucking running.

Homeless people don't have cars, and they sure as shit don't have money for the god damn metro system.

Luckily though, I motherfucking did, 'cause I wasn't up for fucking running my ass off all god damn day.

Seth didn't wanna take money from me and put up a fit, but I told him to shut the fuck up and get on the god damn metro, it wasn't like I was doing him any favors, I just didn't wanna fucking walk around in broad fucking daylight waiting for the cop to come get me.

Forget about the fact that we'd be even MORE con-fucking-spicuous on the METRO, but hey, he bought it. That's what was important.

I knew how to blend the fuck in.

We had a long ride ahead of us, and I was fuck tired, so I put my head against a window and told Seth to wake me up when were needed to change trains at L'Enfant Plaza, then we'd take the Orange line all the fuck way out to god damn Vienna and then I could get a real nap.

And I could handle taking the rest of the trip on foot from there.

As we walked up to the house I'd dragged Seth's ass to together, he asked me, "So who is this guy?"

"He's the guy that's gonna get me some god damn answers, Seth." I said, making sure no one was lurking. I doubted anyone was, this house was off anyone's radar.

I went to knock on the door when it suddenly opened and Jasper was standing there, smiling at me. "Took ya long enough, Cullen. Hurry up."

I smiled back and Seth and I entered quick, shutting the door behind us, when Jasper asked me, "So, private investigation not cuttin' it for ya?"

I laughed even though that shit wasn't funny. Something about being in a life or death situation always made me a little, I don't know, _fucking hysterical_.

Then Jazzman added, "Illegal firearms ARE more profitable. I gotta hand it to ya."

"Ass." I said.

He poured a shot for me and handed it over before I could answer him, and I downed that motherfucker like it was my last god damn drink on Earth.

It very well might have been at that point, hell, I didn't know.

I didn't waste any more time with him, I knew Alice would probably be back soon, her bag was still sitting in the living room, for Christ's sake.

"Anything you can run for me on street cams around my office from earlier today? I think I bumped into the perp."

Jazzman was kinda giving Seth the eyeball and I said, "Sorry… Seth, this is Jasper, Jasper, Seth."

Jazz nodded in understanding. "So this is the…"

"Kid that's gonna help me take down Aro Volturi." I cut him off, hoping he'd take the fucking hint, and he did, he dropped it, but that didn't mean he didn't give me the most incredulous fucking look of all god damn looks when I said that shit.

"Cullen. A kid? Seriously? Have you lost yer ever lovin' mind or somethin'?" He shook his head as he left us, descending the stairs to his headquarters, and I followed him, pulling Seth along with me.

"He's got information, Jazz."

"You've been hanging out with that Swan chick too much, Cullen. I mean, she's lovely lookin' and all, but dang if she doesn't have you all kinds a twisted up and shit."

It was quite fucking possible he was right, and I was actually pretty god damn happy about it for the most part, but I wasn't telling his ass that.

"He's not useless." I told him.

"He's what, sixteen? If that?" Jasper retorted, smartly.

"He street smart." Why was I pleading his case so hard?

"He's also standing, like, right HERE." Seth finally said, annoyed, as we got to the bottom of the stairs.

Jazz and I both stopped arguing and looked at Seth for a minute, then laughed to each other, because that shit was just priceless on any level.

Jazz walked over and sat down in his chair, then pushed it backwards with his feet while spinning it around to face his wall of computer screens, and just like anyone else who'd seen that shit for the first time, Seth's mouth fell open and I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Wow, Edward, if I thought you were double oh seven, this guy is…" His eyebrows shot up and his eyes got wide while he made his cheeks bulge, trying to think of who could possible top double oh seven.

Let me just tell ya somethin', he wasn't gonna think of anyone to top god damn double oh seven. There was no such fucking person.

While the Jazz man did his thing, searching shit on the world wide motherfucking web, I pulled Seth aside and told him, "Look, I want you to stay with Jasper for a while, it's safe here."

He scowled at me. "What? Why? I wanna help you."

I shook my head. "It's too dangerous, Seth, these guys see you, and you're dead, just like that." I snapped my fingers for the effect to kick the fuck in and he didn't like that at all.

"I've survived this long…" He started, jetting his chin out in fucking defiance or something.

"You've been lucky." I told him matter of factly.

He waved his hand out, motioning to Jasper, who was smirking his ass off at something. "You were JUST telling this guy that I have street smarts."

"I'm not arguing with your ass about this shit, Seth, you're staying here."

"No, I'm not."

I was getting god damn fucking pissed off with him at that point, but more so with Jasper, who was now stifling laughter all over the god damn place and I asked him, "What the fuck is so god damn funny?"

His shoulders were bobbing and he just shook his head, keeping his eyes trained on the computer screens in front of him, then he shouted, "AH HA!"

He pointed at the screen as I went closer and bent over his desk, looking at when he'd found.

"Ten O'clock, right there, BAM."

I was squinting and he pushed a few keys, making the screen zoom in on 'hoodie-wearing-thinks-he's-a-smart-motherfucker-by-bumping-in-to-me' guy.

"Can you get a better look at his face?" I asked Jazz, knowing fully fucking well he could.

"Prrrrrrrrobably…" He dragged it out with his Texan twang, clicking more keys and the face started becoming clearer, and as it did, what I'd already had a fucking funny feeling about, became quite motherfucking confirmed as the ass-fuck stared at me from the screen on Jazzman's wall.

"Motherfucker." I breathed out, because hidden under the hoodie he was wearing, was the smug ass face of, "God damn Newton."

Jasper whispered, "Fuckin' A, dude."

Seth asked "Who's that?"

"I fucking KNEW that guy was gonna try some shit!"

And fuck if that didn't mean that now I really did have to call Swan, because this meant he'd seen us together, and that he knew she was up to something.

I tried to call her but got some kinda weird ass error message and cursed the fucking network for that shit.

_God damn cock sucking bum fuck areas with no service!_

"Fuck." I whispered, dragging my hand over my face hard, crossing the room, thinking.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!" I punched the air and Jazz was the one to stop me. "Edward, it's all good man, I'm gonna see Alice, I'll tell her, and she can get a hold of Bella."

Right, Alice… I'd forgotten they were getting close. "Perfect, okay, I gotta bolt, Jazzman." I looked to Seth and back to Jazz again. "Can you do me a favor?"

He knew where I was going with that fuckery. "Dude."

"Come on Jazzman… I need a fucking break here, and I can't drag his ass around into this god damn shit."

"I can take care of myself." Seth said, but we paid him no mind.

"I don't know, Cullen, for how long exactly?" Jasper asked, and I thought about that. "I don't honestly fucking know, Jazz. A week? Maybe two?"

He closed his eyes as his eyebrows shot up. "Two… weeks?"

Yeah, I didn't think that shit was gonna go over well.

In the end, he agreed to keep Seth over night, and Seth wasn't having it, but when he went to take a piss, I took the fuck off and told Jasper I'd get in touch with him by morning.

On the metro, I slunk in between a bunch of fucking yahoo's that were out to party in the heart of DC and made sure no one with guns or fucking uniforms were anywhere around me. A couple of stops were being staked out, but it seemed like the majority of the police force was _probably_ watching the other side of DC.

After fucking all, they had no god damn clue who Jazzman was and they certainly had no reason to think I'd be heading to his part of town.

Back at L'Enfant Plaza, I got off to switch trains and make a plan to get my ass to Annapolis and check on my apartment when I realized I was being followed.

I made a few choice twists and turns in the underground maze of shit fuckery and then stopped when I rounded a corner I knew was nice and dark and not traveled much.

The perp rounded the corner running to catch up with me and I grabbed him by the arm, bending it up and behind him in such a fucking manner that I could have easily dislocated it if I fucking had to.

"Ow, shit!"

_Mother of Jesus H. Christ. _

Was he fucking kidding me?

"Seth, what… the fuck?" I let him go and he rolled his shoulder, rubbing it out, giving me a dirty look like no other.

"I told you I wasn't gonna stay with that guy, Edward, I don't even _know_ him."

"You are a royal pain my in fucking ass, kid, you know that? How'd you even get money to get here?"

"I borrowed some from your buddy."

_Fucking figures._

My cell rang and I thought, fucking finally, the service worked again, but as I went to answer it, I realized I wished to fucking god it wasn't.

"Red."

"Mr. Cullen."

This bullshit was ending, I couldn't play up like I was finding the kid AND run away from the fucking police at the same god damn time.

"I don't have time for this shit, Red."

"Do you have our property, Mr. Cullen?"

"You know what you can do with your PROPERTY, Red?"

"We've already paid you, Mr. Cullen. You wouldn't want to…"

"Yeah? Well I guess the police can add theft to my fucking rap sheet because you can take your fucking deposit and shove it up your ASS."

I ended the call and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"You okay, Edward?"

I laughed. Because I definitely was NOT fucking "okay" and felt like the only thing that was gonna _make_ me "okay" was hearing Swan's voice and having her tell me that she's no where even fucking CLOSE to god damn Newton.

"Yeah, kid. Fucking perfect."

I looked around us expectantly and asked him "Can I trust you to get back to your… whatever that is that you live in, and STAY there 'till I get back to you?"

"Sure, sure, Edward, I can do that, but where are you going? Can I …?"

"NO." I said, cutting him off. "You cannot come with me, and as a matter of fact, staying there is gonna help me more than you can fucking imagine, because _I'll_ know that at least _ONE_ person I know is safe."

"Okay, you call me though, if you need me, okay?"

We shook on it and went our separate ways after I warned his ass to be the fuck careful and he laughed at me, then I was off to sneak in to my own god damn apartment, and hopefully grab my own god damn files before the fucking police got to them.

Some days, however, luck was just not on my god damn side, because when I got there, it was clear the poh-poh had already staked their fucking claim on my shit.

My insides turned and I grew really fucking angry sitting there, scoping the outside of the apartment complex, making sure no one was sticking around to wait for me.

I was sure they were somewhere, they'd be idiots if they weren't, so I went around to the back, and scaled the wall that led to my kitchen window, and climbed in quietly, then closed it shut, being careful not to disturb the huge fucking mess they'd left behind, or the pretty yellow "do not cross" tape they'd sprawled all over the god damn place.

"Dicks." I mumbled, making my way over shit they'd thrown hap-fucking-hazardly all over my kitchen floor, looking for god only knows what.

I pulled the already ajar file cabinet drawer the rest of the way out, and realized they'd already gotten to them and breathed out, "Fuck me." When I heard footsteps come up from behind me.

I spun around to elbow whoever the fuck it was and get the hell outta dodge as fast as I fucking could but it was batted away and I when I realized who it was I just, reacted.

"Jesus god damn Christ, Swan!" I screamed, because shit if she hadn't scared the motherfuck out of me. "What the hell are you doing here?" I was out of fucking breath and out of god damn patience at that point, and really fucking pissed off that she wasn't somewhere, oh, I don't know. _SAFE_.

"I just came back to…"

"You…!"

_Okay, Cullen, don't yell at her, for she knows not what the fuck she does_.

"You were here _before_? And came _BACK_?" I asked, very distinctly, precisely, and slowly, so she knew I was pissed, but also that I wasn't gonna lose my shit with her.

She narrowed her eyes and put her hand on her hip, eliciting a fucking hard on in my pants and I cursed internally, thinking… _Really? Right fucking now?_

"It's not like I've HEARD from you since you kicked me out of your OFFICE earlier, with swarms of fucking… police after you! I mean, Jesus, I _wanted_ to get your files out for you, I got what I could, and came back… so _yeah_." Now she's per-motherfucking-snickety with _me_?

Seriously?

Times like that, when I honest to motherfucking god didn't know if I wanted to kill her for being idiotic, or thank her for helping my ass, were when I felt like she had me fucking wrapped around her tiny ass size three pinky tighter than a pair of size extra-small fruit of the looms on a three hundred pound dude trying to see how much pizza he can consume in the shortest amount of time.

Hell I was just glad to see her ass, in all god damn honesty. For the last, who knows how many fucking hours, I'd felt like I was missing half of me.

I know, fucking ridiculous ass shit, right?

So I grabbed her, and I kissed her.

And it was like fucking time stopped finally, for a few god damn minutes, while she melted in my arms, that were holding on to her for dear fucking life at that point.

I felt her grasp on my jacket tighten as she fisted her hands into it, and her tongue… that soft, wet, voluptuous tongue of hers did it's mojo on mine and I felt like, for a split second, things were gonna be okay.

I didn't want it to stop, but that shit's always inevitable, so I pulled away from her and put my hand against the side of her face to look at her.

She looked a little god damn stressed, if ya ask me.

Kinda like I do on any given fucking day.

Part of me thought that shit was fucking hilarious.

I felt my blood pumping like currents in the San Francisco fucking Bay as we stood there, taking each other in, and that area between my eyebrows? Well it deepened like a motherfucker when I stared into her eyes and felt the overwhelming fucking urge to finally fucking say something that seemed highly god damn inappropriate to me, considering the mess we were smack dab in the fucking middle of.

Still, it was there, and it was strong, and before I could stop myself, my mouth was opening on its own god damn accord and I could tell this was gonna be a pro-motherfucking-found moment between us, despite the god damn fuckery surrounding us.

"Swan." I rasped out.

She licked her lips, and was looking at me all, I don't know what to call that look quite fucking frankly, googly eyed?

It was weird to be honest with you.

"Yeah?" She asked, feeling what I was probably fucking feeling too, anxiously god damn waiting for who knows how long at that point for me to actually fucking say it.

"Listen, don't take this the wrong way…"

_What the fuck? _That wasn't right. I mean it was _right_, but shit, she'd probably punch my ass out for saying something as fucking stupid as this to her.

"…I mean… it's not exactly fucking easy for me to say this shit…"

Fuck if I wasn't god damn nervous as hell. I laughed at myself because there I fucking was, handling shit like Ghosts chasing me, the Volturi fucking family, getting set up by the police for illegal arms dealing, and yet, I couldn't fucking say three simple god damn words to this woman.

She started scowling, and pulled away from me a little bit.

"I mean..." I shook my head. "That's not what…"

"Just spit it out, Cullen." She said a little too god damn cold for my taste. I mean shit, I'm trying to fucking tell the woman how I fucking feel about her, and she's basically _daring_ me to fuck it up.

I took a deep breath and decided to start the fuck over with that shit.

"Shit. Listen, what the fuck I'm trying to say, Swan, is that I think I…" I started, but then we both heard barking coming from outside, and I scowled a little, thinking, I was pretty sure I knew that bark.

I mean, what other fucking dog was hanging around this apartment complex all the god damn time, right?

It got louder.

"Is that Pup?" She asked and I nodded, staring over at the front window.

"Do you think he's okay?" She asked, and I shook my head a little. "I don't know, to tell you the truth, the last time I heard him bark like that he…"

_Oh boy._

_Not. Good._

"What?"

I left her standing there, and moved over to the front window, peeking out from behind the curtains, and sure as fucking shit, Pup was chasing off some unknown ass-fucks in the opposite direction of my fucking apartment.

"Shit."

"Cullen…"

"We need to get outta here, I'm getting' a bad fucking feeling." Who god damn knew who it was Pup was chasing, the cops, the Voturi, fucking… Satan himself.

What? I wouldn't have been fucking surprised. Would you?

"Edward?"

I grabbed Swan by the arm and dragged her ass over to the other side of the apartment, to the window that led to the back of the building and started opening it up.

"You go first." I told her.

"Edward, what the hell is going on?"

"Would you PLEASE get your ASS through that window, Swan? We can fucking talk about this shit later."

God _DAMN, _if she wasn't the most stubborn… pig headed….

"No. Not until you tell me…"

See?

I was getting ready to THROW her through the fucking window, when we both heard it, and not moving from where we were standing, we quietly looked around the apartment to see if we could tell where it was coming from.

And just so ya know, I'm talking about the eerie god damn_ Beeping_ that had started sounding, that was getting louder and louder, and it wasn't the god damn microwave telling me my fucking popcorn was ready, either, ladies and gentlemen.

_Bomb._

We both looked at each other knowing fully fucking well what that shit was and I yelled at her.

"OUT! _NOW!_" She jumped a little at my urgency, but finally moved her fucking ass.

As I was following her out, I knew I was too late as the beeping had become fast and I thought to myself… fuckin' A if I got outta that shit alive, I was gonna kick somebody's ass from here to god damn tim buck motherfucking two for pulling that kinda shit.

The explosion threw the both of us against the building across from mine and then we fell to the ground below, cracking my head to what I thought was wide open and then a blinding light flashed in front of my eyes.

Thank the motherfucking gods and Aphro-motherfucking-Diti herself that I was only on the second floor.

It couldn't have been much later when I woke up, because I wasn't hearing sirens yet.

I didn't hear shit, as a matter of fact, except the faint sound of alarms going off from inside the building, and maybe people… screaming?

And I smelled smoke, a lot of it.

I was face down on the ground, practically eating the gravel that was sprawled all over the damn place then.

I coughed a lot when I tried to push myself up, blood seeping from the corner of my head, and who the fucking knows where else. I felt around on my body to make sure nothing had broken or god fucking forbid, been dismembered from that shit.

I let out a little sigh of relief as I realized I could indeed move everything still.

My vision was a little blurry, but I could tell it was working on coming back to me, and I scanned around where I was, looking for Swan.

I found her about ten feet away from me, still not moving.

Stumbling over to her, I fell to her side, brushing the hair out of her face that was looking like a god damn birds nest and thought even after a fucking bomb threw her out of my apartment, she was still the sexiest woman I'd ever seen.

"Swan." I coughed, trying to get some sort of reaction from her, but she didn't move.

"SWAN." I said it louder, thinking if my fucking ears were shot, so were hers, probably.

_Nothing._

I shook her a little this time, a little god damn desperate, to tell you the truth. "BELLA! WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

But still, nothing, not even a fucking twitch, or scowl, or, fucking _anything_.

I checked her pulse, it was barely there, but it was there, and then I checked her fucking eyes and they were dilated.

"Mother of… SHIT!" I looked around, people were pouring out of the apartment building, running toward the front street. No god damn doubt, the Troopers would be there soon, and this was NOT gonna look good, considering they already thought I was smuggling fire arms.

I scooped her up into my arms, and struggled to stand, pushing through the pain of my own god damn injuries, and finally I'd done it, and started making my way toward the front street as well to look for a taxi, or hell, any car was gonna do at that fucking point.

"It's okay, Bella. You're gonna be okay, I fucking swear it."

I mean hell, I figured stealing a car was nothing compared to the shit I was wanted for at that point, but luckily, it didn't come to that, because I saw what I never figured on being glad to see, parked not too far from us.

"Good girl, hiding Shitty Shitty back here, baby." I said, and I kissed her forehead as I made my way to her truck.

As much as I fucking hated what my option was, it was my only option in place of committing another crime in the eyes of the Maryland, DC and Virginia area police enforcement.

_Yeah._

_Good times._

I opened Bella's truck, and padded her pockets for the keys, which I found pretty fucking fast, thank god, and placed her into the passenger's side as I vaguely heard the sirens coming.

They could have been a mile away, or ten fucking feet, I don't know, my hearing was all kinds of jacked up from the explosion and I had no god damn idea if or when it was coming back.

"You're gonna be okay." I said to her again when I jumped into the driver's seat.

I looked around for Pup, but didn't see him and I just had to fucking hope he'd be okay and wasn't close enough to the building when the explosion went off.

It took me three god damn tries, but I started that fucker up and headed off down the road, passing the fire trucks and cop cars headed to my place as I did it.

"Okay hot shot, now what?" I mumbled to myself.

I couldn't take her back to Seth, she clearly had a fucking head injury of some sort… not mention she was all god damn banged up and shit.

Courtesty of yours truly.

"Great job, dickhead." I gumbled, trying to think of where I could…

_Oh, hell no, Cullen. _My stubborn ass of a conscious said in response to where my thoughts went.

"You don't have a choice, ass-fuck."

Okay, so now I was yelling at my SELF?

God I was fucking tired.

Tired of this shit fuckery that I'd somehow found myself in time and god damn time again, tired of getting _Bella_ into shit fuckery _with_ me, tired of fighting with everyone I knew…

Just god damn tired.

In the end, I decided, what the fuck else was I gonna do?

I mean, I had no god damn choice.

Right?

So, there I was, taking Bella's battered fucking body to the _last_ place I ever thought I'd find myself thinking of as a safe haven.

To Carlisle.


	22. Please & Thank You

**A/N: Chappy song = Lullaby by the Spill Canvas

* * *

**

**CHAPTER 21 ~ "Please and Thank You"**

**PART 1. CULLEN**

For the first time in my life, or his probably, for that fucking matter, Carlisle was speechless.

As I stood there with The Swan in my arms, possibly fucking dying, with no god damn chance maybe to rectify my shit-headedness and _tell_ her exactly how I fucking feel about her ass, he just sat there, staring with a look of shock on his face, when he finally opened his mouth to say something.

"Edward."

Okay, so he wants proper fucking greetings now?

_Fine._

"Dad," I said, nodding as I pushed passed him, into the foyer where not even a week before, I'd had such a great night with Swan.

Holding her, kissing her, laughing with her. I got lost in that god damn memory for a minute before dad so very fucking rudely interrupted it.

"You can't be here, son."

Listen, don't be shocked by what he said, I certainly fucking wasn't.

It really didn't matter though, not to me anyway.

What came next was probably the single most fucked up, hardest thing I'd ever said in my life, but I fucking said it, because like it or god damn not, I need him. The hospital just wasn't an option, and Swan needed help.

"Your office downstairs," I started, like he actually needed an explanation of that shit, "with all the luxuries of the fucking hospital, but not the people dad, I need it…I need you to fix her up." I was slightly fucking breathless from the adrenalin that was racing through me, and I wasn't in the mood for his god damn games.

Swan was lifeless, and it hurt like fucking hell inside of me to see her like that, knowing what a spit fire, stubborn, doesn't listen worth a shit motherfucking attitude she'd had, not what, thirty fucking minutes before?

"You're all over the news, Edward, the police are…"

"PLEASE, dad," I half yelled, half fucking cried and I cursed his ass internally for making me do that shit.

I held my lips together tight and frowned at him, trying to fight back the tears I felt burning my god damn eyes. "Please, just…" I took a breath. "Help her."

He watched me, watching her, and we were both silent for a minute before he finally became decided, and said, "Alright, follow me."

And I fucking did.

He opened the door leading to the basement and turned the light on and we both hurried down the steps to his make shift, in-home clinic down there.

I wasn't lying when I said it had all the luxuries of the hospital, you name it, he had access to it.

This, of course, was always quite motherfucking convenient, growing up with Em, 'cause whenever one of us fell out of a tree playing hide and go beat the shit out of your brother, dad could easily fix us up down there.

Mom must have already heard us, because she wasn't far behind, and she kinda fucking freaked out to tell ya the truth, when she saw Swan. "Edward? Oh my god, what's happened?"

"There was an…" The sound of it, and the fire, and fucking smoke flashed in front of my eyes. "explosion."

"Oh dear," she breathed as she grabbed at her chest.

_Fucking tell me about it, ma._

"Put her on the table, Edward," my dad instructed, but I was still staring at Swan's face, waiting for her to wake the fuck up.

He came over to me, then, and put a hand on my shoulder. "Son."

_Right, saving Swan. Got it._

I lay her down on his work table as gently as I fucking could, making sure not to hurt her anymore than she already fucking was, and dad immediately started pulling an IV out, then a needle.

I don't like needles people, they make me as queasy as a motherfucker, so I moved my ass over to mom, who was still grabbing at her god damn chest, looking at Bella as though she was looking at a corpse.

"Ma… don't," I said, and she started fucking crying as she came over to hug my ass.

I let out a sigh and put my arms around her.

"What's going on, Edward?" she asked, because we all knew fully fucking well that dad wasn't gonna ask. He probably thought he already knew.

I sat her down as Carlisle began checking Swan over. You know, vitals, injuries, shit like that, and I told her what I thought I could about the shit storm, which in all honestly, wasn't a whole fucking hell of a lot.

I basically told her it all had something to do with a case I was knee deep in and that Swan had gotten caught in the crossfire. She's a mom though, and she could fucking tell I was holding shit back from her, but she didn't push.

She was shaking her head, crying, shit like what moms do when they know they can't hold their children, and dad was stone faced, finishing up with Bella, cleaning up her wounds, taking things in, mulling it all over in his head, no doubt.

"Esme," Dad started, "could you run upstairs and get me some alcohol from one of the bathrooms?"

Now I knew as fucking well as he did, that he had plenty of god damn alcohol down there. He just wanted to get rid of ma so he could tell me to get the fuck out of his house while she wasn't around. I knew this scene, we'd played it before.

"Sure thing, dear," she answered, and when she got up, she kissed me on the forehead before heading up the stairs.

Dad washed his hands and I waited patiently, keeping my eyes on Swan. Why? I don't fucking know, it wasn't like she was going anywhere or anything.

"Is she gonna be…" I started to ask, because fuck, I just didn't know what the hell else to say, and I needed to know she was gonna make it before I made any more plans. Her health was directly fucking correlated with Mike Newton's, that much I knew.

"She'll be fine, Edward. Mild concussion, but basically, she's okay."

I let out a thankful fucking sigh to who knows god damn who, and then put my face into my hands, grabbing at my hair in frustration.

I needed to figure out where to fucking take her, but I couldn't exactly carry her unconscious body around with me everywhere, that's only a little god damn conspicuous, if ya ask me.

"Dad…"

"Edward, look…" he started to say, and then the door bell rang from upstairs and we both instinctively looked up the stairs, figuring it was probably the police.

"Fuck," I said.

Dad looked like he was debating something, and then said, "Stay here with Bella."

That in its fucking self surprised the shit out of me, my friends. It was more like my dad to make us turn ourselves in for shit and let "the law" handle it, than for him to even hint that he was planning on NOT telling them I was hiding like a god damn coward in his basement.

But I fucking stayed put, readying myself to walk up the stairs, once dad had instructed the police that I was turning myself in. I was pretty sure that's what his plan was.

I was also contemplating my exit options because I really didn't want to god damn go to jail with Swan all fucked up the way she was.

Never surrender, right?

Dad closed the basement door and I turned the light off so that it wouldn't show from under the crack.

Dead fucking giveaway that a wanted man is in the basement.

I could still hear what happened next though, and I gotta say, I was starting to think I was in the wrong fucking house.

"Good evening officers." Dad said as I sat tucked away, hidden from sight.

_Always the polite motherfucker._

"Dr. Cullen," one of the cops said. I didn't recognize the voice, so at least I knew fucking Newton wasn't gonna get his face punched in or anything.

_Yet._

Seriously, I wouldn't have been able to pass that god damn opportunity up.

Would you?

"What can I do for you tonight?" Dad asked them, and I laughed, because it was clear that he wasn't gonna fucking make it easy on 'em.

"Actually, we're um…" They were uncomfortable. They knew dad, and they knew Emmett, they figured this was gonna be fucking embarrassing for him, finding out his son is a fugitive and shit. "Here to see if you've been in contact with your son, sir."

"Emmett?" I laughed again. Dad was such an ass when he wanted to be, which let's just face it, is quite fucking often.

"No sir…your…other son."

"Edward? Really? Is he okay?" Shit, he was good. I peeked over at Bella's body, and waited to see if I noticed her silhouette moving, but there was nothing.

"Actually sir, he's wanted for smuggling illegal fire arms."

Silence.

_Shit._

I bit my knuckle. Hard. Because I hadn't exactly told mom that part. I was kinda fucking hoping to avoid the awkwardness of explaining how fucking boxes and boxes of guns had gotten into my _fucking_ office.

"Well, that's not good, is it?" Carlisle finally said, and I heard that little fucking something in his voice, like he'd been caught off guard, and now he was pissed.

Carlisle doesn't like to be misinformed, so to fucking speak.

"So if you don't mind… we'll just…" the unrecog-fucking-nizable voice said.

Shit. They were gonna come in. My head snapped, looking over at Bella, wondering how the hell I could get us out of there and how fucking fast I could do it.

"I'm sorry, could I just see your warrant then?"

I stopped. Dead in my motherfucking tracks, my friend.

That shit caught me off god damn guard, and I put my head back up to the door, to see if I'd heard wrong or some shit like that.

"Mr. Cullen, your son has…"

Dad cut them off. "My SON, hasn't been here in at least a week, officer, so unless you have a warrant to come into my house, I'm afraid you're going to have to leave."

_Wow, defensive much, dad?_

"If you're harboring…"

"Officer, the word _harboring _insinuates that Edward's been proven guilty of something, and to my knowledge, that hasn't happened yet, so I would appreciate it if you refrain from using words that could be construed as…insulting."

I looked around the office to make sure I was in the right god damn house again.

Yep, the name plate on the desk definitely fucking read "Carlisle Cullen. MD, PHD."

_Huh._

"Can you tell us who's truck that is that's parked down your driveway sir?"

_Shit._

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit._

"That's a friend of my daughters; they went out together, had a little too much to drink, and she left her car here while Alice drove her home."

_Nice cover, dad!_

Believe me when I tell you, this fuckery was better than any god damn soap opera out there in existence.

Not that I watched that shit.

There was more silence and then finally, another unfamiliar voice said, "We'll be back, you know that, Dr. Cullen."

"Well, then I'll see you when you get back, gentlemen." Dad was completely polite, professional, and so god damn sarcastic you could almost taste it.

More fucking silence, god damn I hated silence.

Finally one of them said, "Goodnight sir," and then the front door closed, and I pulled the basement door open as dad was already flying down the stairs. He came in and passed me, over to Bella, and said "We need to get her to a bed."

"Dad."

"_Now_, Edward."

I helped him with her and we took her to one of the extra rooms that were downstairs.

Once she was settled and under the covers, my dad started to leave me there with her, but it was me that stopped him this time.

"Dad, listen…"

He didn't wait for an explanation. "Edward, I know you didn't do it. You don't need to explain anything to me."

_Huh?_

"I don't…" _understand…like, at fucking all._

_"_Smuggling illegal fire arms? You?" He curled his eyebrows. "_Please_."

I was still in god damn shock, quite fucking frankly, from the fact that he'd just LIED to the police, when he took the opportunity to continue.

"Son, your mother doesn't spare the chance to tell me that I'm an idiot at times…I've been pushing you all these years to do something I thought you wanted to do because…well, I thought you were just lost, and I wanted to…steer you in the right direction again, I guess."

"I…"

"Listen…" he said, holding a hand up to me, letting me know I should just shut the fuck up.

So I did.

"I won't lie and say I didn't think you and Emmett would have made an unstoppable team on the police force, Edward, but I know that's not going to happen now…you're apparently very good at what you do, if someone is trying to set you up, and I promise…I'm not going to push you anymore, I just want you to get out of this mess, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make that happen."

Okay, did someone abduct my father and replace him with alien Carlisle? Because that shit that just came out of his mouth was NOT what I was expecting.

My mouth was open.

It really was.

I was trying to get my voice to work, but nothin' was coming to me.

I mean, what the fuck?

Seriously.

He must have seen the struggle behind my scowl, because he just smiled, and put a hand on my shoulder, then quietly left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

So there I was, staring at a closed door, when ironically, one had just been opened up for me.

I actually felt like fucking smiling for the first time in…

I turned and watched Swan, who was still out. Dad had given her something for the pain she'd be feeling when she woke up, and to help her sleep, oddly enough.

I was left with nothing but silence, and my own thoughts as I stood there.

Thoughts about how I needed to keep her safe, no matter how fucking bad ass she thought she was, how I needed find a fucking way to prove the Mayor, Aro, and possibly Muldoon had something to do with Jess's death, and how I was absolutely, without a fucking doubt, gonna fucking put a god damn bullet in Newton's head for setting me up.

There was also a highly fucking eerie ass feeling I was having with regards to the god damn bomb that had gone off in my apartment.

A familiarity about it was gnawing at me, and I just didn't wanna even think about putting the dots together with regards to that shit.

There was really only one fucking way to make this all okay. I mean, Swan had survived the blast at my place, but who's to say she was gonna have eight more god damn lives to make it through whatever ever other fuckery was headed our way.

It was just too god damn close for comfort for my fucking liking.

You feel me.

Right?

I pulled up a chair that was sitting in the corner of the room up next to the bed, faced it backwards and sat down. One arm hung over the front, taking Bella's hand in mine, and my other arm was folded on the back of the chair, my head just lay there on top of it, and all I could do was rub soothing circles on her fucking hand, hoping it would be noticed.

I felt so completely fucking useless at that moment.

"I don't know how you did it, Swan," I started talking to her, even though I fucking knew she couldn't fucking hear me, "getting' inside of me the way you did, under my skin…" My voice might have cracked, a little fucking bit. "into my fucking heart and shit…but I'm glad you did."

She didn't move, and it wasn't like I expected her to, but I'd hoped.

I was pretty god damn sure this was as still as I'd ever seen her lay before. I mean, even when she would sleep over at my place, the woman fucking tossed and turned and even punched me in the fucking face once while dreaming about shit.

I laughed, and then just as quickly as the smile appeared on my face, it disappeared.

"I'm really fucking sorry…" I started to tell her, then realized something, and asked myself, what was the fucking point in using her god damn last name, anyway?

I mean, how fucking idiotic was that?

"Bella," I said her name and all kinds of emotions and shit started bubbling up inside of me.

Shit I couldn't let affect the way I handled this situation.

"You're gonna be okay, and I'm gonna go end this shit once and for fucking all," I said, because it was about god damn time I turned the fucking tables on these assholes.

They didn't know where I was, yet, but I knew where every fucking single one of them were. And I was gonna be sure to pay each of them a god damn visit, a la Edward motherfucking Cullen style.

I stood up and moved the chair after a few minutes of running shit through my head, and then bent down and kissed her forehead. "I love you," I whispered, and laughed at how fucking easy it was to say all of a god damn sudden.

_Yeah, now that she's unconscious._

_Idiot._

I left her room and headed upstairs to get some shit together and get the hell out of there before the police came back and dad was put away for harboring a criminal.

As I was packing a backpack up with clothes, a couple of guns I'd kept at the house and a nice stash of cash that I'd hidden away there for exactly this type of fucking situation, dad found me.

"You're leaving?" He seemed strained, saying it, almost like he didn't want me to.

"Yeah, dad, I'm just putting you in a bad spot by being here, and it's only a matter of fucking time before they get a warrant and force you to let them come in…so…" I didn't look up at him, I just kept stuffing shit into the back pack.

Ma, who'd followed him to the room, my old room, started crying again and ran out. The crease in my forehead was starting to give me a god damn head ache.

"Listen," I said to dad, who didn't seem to know what the fuck to say for the second time since I'd gotten there, "thanks...for helping Bella, and..." _Shit, I sucked at this. "_for…you know."

He smiled and walked over to me, pulling me into a real like motherfucking, emotion spurring fatherly fucking hug. Something I hadn't experienced in who knows how god damn long.

He just held me there for a minute, not letting go, and I let him, because fucking honestly, I was fucking exhausted and didn't really wanna fucking go anywhere, anyway.

But it was the right god damn thing to do, and I was all about the right things to do.

Finally he let go, and I swallowed hard, shaking his hand and told him, "I'll be in touch dad, don't try to call me, they're probably tracking your calls already."

He acknowledged the instructions I gave him and then I added, "When this is over, we're gonna discuss this sudden change in your behavior, because quite frankly, it fucking worries me."

_Seriously_.

He gave me a curious look like, _what the fuck are you talking about?_ And I told him, "all this, defending Edward talk, kinda makes me feel like you don't think I'm coming back."

I was being sarcastic of course, but hey, you never fucking know.

I laughed when dad didn't say anything and then he nodded as I turned to leave, following me to the kitchen where the back door was.

It led out to our back yard that was surrounded by ten foot high security fencing, so I knew that at least no one would be within the immediate area. They were probably out front, waiting for me to arrive, keeping an eye out for the Vanquish, like I'm that stupid.

When my hand was on the door knob, dad stopped me.

"Edward…"

I stopped, but couldn't look at him. Part of me was thinking he was about to beg me to stay and hide for fucks sake, the other half was pretty convinced I would if he'd asked me to.

But seriously, that's just not my fucking style.

"What do I tell Bella? When she wakes up."

Good god damn question. But this time I knew the answer at least. I turned my head to tell him over my shoulder, "Tell her to go back to Forks," and then I left.

As I scaled the fencing, and made my way into the wooded area behind my dad's house, I knew I was doing what was best for Bella, yet I couldn't help wondering on some god damn level, why the fuck I was doing it, considering the hole I felt like I'd just punched right into my own god damn heart.

"Good luck, Bella," I whispered, looking back at my dad's house one last time, then I started off in a full on sprint to get back to where Seth was, and start making a mental fucking plan to set up the shit heads that thought they were smart to start a war with Edward god damn Cullen.

**PART 2. THE SWAN**

"_Edward, would you please wait!"_

_He was running away and I couldn't catch up with him to stop him. He kept saying something over his shoulder at me, but I couldn't hear him over the thunder from the storm overhead that was coming in fast._

"_EDWARD!"_

_Barely able to follow his shadow, I came upon the entrance to a dark alleyway, and I could see off in the distance to my left, a warehouse on the water, a few lights were on, but other than that, it looked deserted._

_I hadn't seen which way Cullen had gone, so I had a decision to make, and I needed to make it fast._

"_I love you." _

_I heard it like an echo, and even though the sound of those words engulfed me, and warmed me, the voice felt like it was really far away. I could, however, tell it was coming from down the alleyway, so I headed that way first, and figured, if he wasn't there, then I'd check the warehouse._

"_Edward?" I whispered. I couldn't see a thing, it was so dark, I could barely see my own hand in front of my face._

_I heard a noise from behind me, and I panicked, but kept my cool, and felt along the edge of the brick wall I was closest to, until I'd found a nitch to back up into and I stayed there, barely breathing._

_Footsteps slowly made their way down the alley until they were right in front of me, and I gasped in a little at how close the person felt._

"_Shhhhhhhh. It's okay," they whispered, and for just a split second, I breathed out in relief, thinking it was Cullen. Then a flashlight flicked on, and it highlighted a face I hadn't expected._

_The face of Mike Newton._

"_Mike, what you doing here?" I asked nervously, and confused to be honest. My eyes darted around to see if Cullen was anywhere close by._

_Mike smiled and said, "He's not here this time, Bella. It's just you…and me." _

_My stomached churned and I tried to call out but then Mike's hand raised and he said, "Night night," then his hand came down and struck the side of my head, as a bright light flashed in front of my eyes, blinding me._

I eyes shot open and I heard myself scream, then my hand went to my head, only to be taken gently by stronger hands.

_Mike?_

My breathing was fast and shaky; I had no idea where I was. The last thing I remembered was Cullen yelling at me to get out of his apartment, and then…nothing.

"Hey, hey, hey…" the man's voice said, softly, "you're okay, Bells. You're gonna be okay."

"W…where am I?" I asked anxiously, half expecting to be tied up in some abandoned home or something, but I was comfortable, and warm, so the two pieces of information weren't connecting in my mind.

"You're at our house," he told me, "the Cullen's house, it's okay."

"Ow," was really all I could rasp out. My head was KILLING me, and I couldn't quite focus when I tried to open my eyes.

"Do you need some water?" he asked.

_Emmett… It was Emmett's hands, not Mikes, Emmett was here._

I could only nod slightly and then his hands were gone, only to be replaced with a cold glass a few minutes later.

He sat me up and helped me drink the water.

It felt good, like it was quenching a fire in my throat, and when I finished it, he took it away and laid me back down.

"Edward." I said it, but Emmett knew what I was asking.

"He's gone, Bells."

_Gone? _

_Dead?_

I blinked until I could focus, and then proceeded to scowl at Emmett. "What do you mean, when is he coming back? Is he okay?"

"He's fine, Bells. But he's being pursued, you know, he couldn't stay here. He's not…coming back."

I sat up. "Emmett, tell me you don't believe all of this."

"Bells…"

"Emmett! Tell me… you don't believe all of this!" I was going to lose my mind if he believed any of it. "He's being set UP, Em, you have to know that! I saw the guy, he… he bumped in to Cullen when we…"

"I KNOW. Okay?" he finally said, raising his voice. "I know."

"What do you mean, you know?"

"I mean, _shit_." He sat on the edge of the bed and dragged his whole hand over his face like he was pulling dirt off of it, then he let out a heavy sigh.

"You better start spilling your guts, Cullen, or I'm going to have to SERIOUSLY hurt you."

He laughed at me. I guess I couldn't blame him, it wasn't like I was in the best shape of my life. Still, he started spilling, so I must have been at least a LITTLE bit intimidating.

"I've been undercover for about two years, Bells. Muldoon's had me tailing Newton and a few of the other cops in my division in hopes that we could crack a drug ring slash illegal arms smuggling organization that we believe Aro and Marcus Volturi are at the head of."

_Whhhaaaaaaaat?_

"Emmett, are you saying…"

"That Edward has SINCERELY been FUCKING my INVESTIGATION up for the past month? Yeah."

Oh boy. He didn't sound happy about that, but part of him also sounded kind of amused about the whole thing.

"So, Muldoon..."

"Hates Edward right now, even more so than he did before all of the shit he's been getting into lately."

"I don't get it, why didn't you just tell him?" It seemed like Cullen and Emmett working TOGETHER on this case could have had it solved and put away by now.

_Brothers._

Emmett looked at me like I had two heads at that point. "Bells, he wasn't even really _talking _to me until about two weeks ago, and even then it was a little strained, why would I just blurt out to him that I'm undercover and oh, by the way, could you stay out of it, Edward? Yeah, that would have gone over REAL well." He rolled his eyes when he finished.

I guess he had a point.

"I was there, that day at the warehouse ya know, I saw Mike arrive with you. I was cursing you that day, Bells, you were seriously cramping my whole plan because I really didn't want you to get implicated by association. I think that's why he's been hanging out with you so much, he knows I have a soft spot for ya."

I laughed, a little, but was mostly disturbed to hear this.

"I saw him come out with the boxes, and was pretty sure they were full of guns and shit, but I had NO idea they were gonna use them to set Edward up, I SWEAR."

_Oh my fucking god._

"When Alice let it slip to me that Jasper was like this, ex special ops dude, I asked her to get me some night vision from him so I could scope out the warehouse at night. Muldoon's unit doesn't have the funds for shit like that, and I figured they'd be a little more slack at night time, ya know?"

I felt my head moving back and forth but I just couldn't think straight listening to him.

"And then when I heard the call come in about them finding all that shit in Edward's office, I fucking lost it."

_Processing…processing…_

"They think I'm helping him of course, which wouldn't have crossed their minds four or five weeks ago, but after that fight that Edward and I got into with Newton at the Ram's Head…well…"

His eyebrows shot up and he said "The longer he stays hidden, the more pressure they're putting on me, saying I'm in cahoots with him…"

"What about Muldoon? Why doesn't he back you up?"

He shook his head. "Can't, then the whole cover is blown. We've come too far to blow it now." I didn't know how to feel about that, I mean, Emmett seemed resigned to the fact that he might possibly go to jail over something in exchange for the investigation he was participating in to be able to continue.

That completely blew me away.

I opened my mouth to argue about it when Carlisle walked into the bedroom.

"Bella, you're up," he announced.

He didn't look happy to see me, but that was expected, I mean, just by being there I was probably making things hard on his family.

"Carlisle, Edward didn't say where he was going?"

"No, I'm sorry, Bella, he didn't." He seemed tense.

"Did he say if he'd call."

He shook his head.

"Anything?" I asked, "did he say ANYTHING?"

Carlisle took a long drag of air, and filled his lungs before answering me. It wasn't looking good.

"He asked me to tell you to…go back to Forks, Bella."

_What?_

"He…"

_What?_

"He doesn't want to drag you any further into this than you already are," he said, "I think he's getting ready to take some fairly drastic measures."

I stared passed him, shaking my head slowly, completely un-able to process what he'd just said.

That Edward wanted me to leave, and he was out there, alone, with no help.

"It's probably best, Bella." Emmett said, and I shot him my look of death, because I just couldn't fathom how these people could possibly think that my leaving Cullen, could be a GOOD thing.

Especially CULLEN thinking that I could leave Cullen!

I was angry, and frustrated, and there was just no way I was gonna let these people talk me into something that went against everything I felt inside of me.

So I got up, steadied myself, and started to leave.

"Bells, w…where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to go find Cullen, then I'm going to give him a nice ass kicking."

"Bells, I can't let you do that, you don't know these people," he told me, and when I looked from Carlilse, back to Emmett, I just couldn't understand what I was hearing.

"You're not gonna help him? How can you just let him…" I was so angry with him.

"I can't help him if I don't know where he is, Bells, he's stubborn, probably thinks he can take the whole damn ring down all on his own."

"Well I'll find him," I said adamantly, starting to leave again.

"You can't go out there, Bells." He was NOT gonna let this go.

"Oh yeah?" I spun around on him and lost my balance from the dizziness it spurred. "Woah," I breathed out, grabbing on to Emmett's arm.

"Exactly. You're in no condition to go anywhere right now. Listen," he patted my back while he sat me back down. "just think about it, Bells, I'll look up some flights, and we'll talk about it in a little while, just get some rest."

_Like hell. _

"Sure." I agreed to their demands to get them out of the room so I could think, and maybe find my car keys. I wasn't all that bad off, after all, I was a good actress when I really needed to be.

Once they left me alone to 'rest', I jumped up and checked my backpack, and bingo! My keys were still in there.

I mean seriously, do they NOT know that the first thing you do is take the crazy person's keys when you don't want them to leave?

I shook my head, and pulled the back pack over my shoulder, opened the door and peeked down the hallway.

Tip toeing down the hallway, I could hear muffled voices coming from up the stairs, and as I ascended them one by one, the voices got clearer.

"I don't exactly want her to go, but this shit is fucked, dad." I shook my head, "oh ye of little faith," I whispered to him.

"I know, Emmett, I'm more worried about Edward right now, though."

"Edward's gonna be fine, dad, he knows how to handle himself, it's Newton I feel sorry for."

_Me to, Emmett._

I wasn't sure where Esme was, but she wasn't wherever the men were, so I figured she must be upstairs or something, fiddling with things to keep busy so she didn't have to worry about her son.

I walked quietly across the foyer and opened the front door silently, slipping out of the house completely undetected, and then ran as fast as I could to my truck, which…Esme was leaning up against with a smile on her face.

"Esme, how did you…"

_Know I was sneaking out of the house._

She pushed off of the truck, holding a bag of something in her hand, and met me half way from where I was when I'd seen her.

"I'm not an idiot dear, as soon as I realized you were awake, I knew it was only a matter of time before you made a run for it."

_Smart lady._

"But Carlisle said…"

"The Cullen men are all the same Bella, over protective, and quite stupid when it comes to understanding the strength of a good woman."

_Oh my god I think I'm in love with Esme._

She held her hand out that had the bag in it, and I took it, opening it to see what she was giving me. It had in it, some clothes, food she's packed up and… "A gun?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

She nodded, humming as she did and told me, "There's a tazer too, just in case."

I laughed and hugged her, because seriously, this was the coolest mom of anyone I'd ever met in my whole entire life.

"Thanks, Esme."

"You're quite welcome, and when you see Edward, tell him I said to stay warm."

I laughed a little more at that, remembering his story about the scarf his mother had given him, and then I got up into the truck, turned her over a couple of times before she started, and left the Cullen's home behind me.

I wondered what Esme was gonna tell Carlisle and Emmett when they ran outside after hearing my truck start up.

Driving down the road leading to the Cullen's house, I passed a few police cars. They weren't marked, but I knew a damn cop car when I saw one.

_Way to be covert, guys._

I was pretty sure they'd be planning on following me, and I'd let them, until I was ready to lose them anyway.

I tried Cullen's cell, but got voice mail again, then I tried to call Emmett to say I was sorry for running out on him, but I wasn't leaving until this whole fiasco was over. If Cullen still wanted me to go home then, I guess I would.

Service wasn't working right for some reason, and I wrote it off as being because I was in a rural part of town, and figured I'd just try later.

About an hour after I'd left, I stopped by my apartment, showered, changed, checked outside to make sure the police cars were still around.

And they were.

Then I headed to where I knew I'd get something I needed if I was planning on losing those jerks.

Rose's shop.

I was a little surprised that I hadn't heard from Mike, but was glad at the same time, and I figured that if he wasn't calling me, he was probably out trying to help find Cullen.

Which wasn't good.

By the time I'd made it to Rose's, Emmett had already called her and told her to call him if I showed up, but Rose, being Rose, and being my friend, just wasn't gonna play along with that.

"Are you sure this is okay, Rose? I mean, I don't wanna get you into trouble," I was watching the men, who weren't very far away from the shop, but I guess they thought they were far enough away to go un-noticed. Or maybe they just didn't care. They both got out of their cars to stretch their legs and then walked up to each other and started talking.

Rose rolled her eyes at me hard, and said, "Stay here, Bella, they'll see movement, and think I'm in here with you."

She hit the button on a CD player and it playing something that sounded liked tinkering. I started to wonder just exactly how many times she had done something like this as she snuck out through her back door.

I walked around the place, looking at some of the instruments she used for engines, and thought about Jake. I pulled my cell out and tried to call him again, but the service still sucked, which was weird, because I usually had great service around that area.

I sighed, and waited about another ten or fifteen minutes before Rose was back, swinging a wrench in her hand, smiling at me. "You're good to go."

"Thanks, Rose." I hugged her and then hopped back into my truck. She started up after a couple of tries and Rose made me wait while she opened up the hood and tweaked a couple of things, then closed it again.

"She shouldn't do that to you anymore. You really need to bring her in so I can overhaul her completely, ya know."

"Yeah, I know," I answered, guilt ridden for completely disrespecting the truck like that.

"See ya."

I drove passed the nice officers that were parked out on the street and back in their cars now, acting like I didn't see them and watched in my rear view mirror as they tried to start their cars up and follow me again, only for nothing to happen.

I giggled and turned the corner, wondering what in the hell Rose had done, anyway, and breathed a little easier, knowing I wouldn't have to worry about anyone following me to Edward.

Except that, I had no idea where Edward was.

I tried his cell again, and had service this time, but got voice mail _again_. This time, I decided to leave him a message.

"Edward, you know who this is, which means, you know that I am highly pissed off at you right now. You had better freaking call me when you get this, or when I find you, it won't be pretty."

After I ended the message, I texted him, figuring if he didn't get one, he'd get the other, eventually.

When I was done text yelling at him, I threw my phone down into the passenger's seat, only for it to buzz a few minutes later.

I wanted to literally jump up and down because I just KNEW it would be Edward, and thanked god he was a smart man, but when I looked at the screen on my phone, I was disappointed, once again.

_Not so smart, I guess._

I didn't even know the number, so I didn't answer it, but they called back, so I figured, well maybe it was some sort of an emergency or something, and accepted the call.

"Bella Swan," I said professionally…just in case.

"Bella? It's…"

"Seth," we both said at the same time, and I felt some hope finally. "Tell me where he is, Seth."

And he did tell me, because Seth, unlike Cullen apparently, is a smart man.


	23. Confessions of a Fucking Psychopath

**A/N: Chappy song = Collide by Howie Day

* * *

**

**CHAPTER 22 ~ "Confessions of a Fucking Psychopath"**

**CULLEN**

"_You're gonna be detective in like, six months."_

_I laughed. _

"_Seriously, Edward, you're comparable to freaking Nostradamus or something."_

"_Isn't that the guy that predicts shit, Jess?" I asked her, wondering why the fuck she'd compare me to that guy._

"_Exactly, I mean, every single one of your theories in Psyche class are completely dead on. It's really eerie."_

_Well, she'd had me there. They mostly stemmed from my "Big Brother" complex though, in all god damn honesty._

"_Way to inflate his ego even more than it already is, Jess," Emmett scoffed, catching the football that she'd lofted to him._

"_Hey, she's a smart woman, who knows a smart man when she meets one." I winked at Jess as Emmett threw the ball to me a little fucking harder than he really needed to and it hit me right in the god damn gut._

"_See what I mean?" he teased._

"_Em, don't be hatin' because you can't get the hang of Maryland Law. When are you re-taking that anyway?"_

_He was interning with DCPD until he passed it, some agreement he'd come to with his Lieutenant because they saw "potential" in him._

_He was pretty bad ass, even I could admit that shit. He just wasn't good at the whole testing arena. Intellectual tests anyway, the physical fuckery he could handle with his hands tied behind his back. _

_Literally. I watched him head butt Newton one time while handcuffed, during a practice drill. Newton was unconscious for like, an hour._

"_Why do I even NEED Maryland Law, is what I wanna know, we're DC Metro for crying out loud."_

_I tossed the ball to Jess and sat down to pick up one of the books I'd borrowed from her that weekend. This one was about parallel universes, and it was getting really god damn good._

"_Because you need to know the law of the states immediately surrounding your home territory in case you find yourself in a position where you're backing up a fellow police officer from one of those states."_

_Jess liked to quote shit word for word._

_Emmett looked like he'd just gotten a head ache all of a sudden and I chuckled, opening the book up to where I'd left off the night before._

"_You're not playing anymore?" he pushed._

_I held the book up, and he rolled his eyes, knowing I'd much rather read than fucking practice for the football game we'd be participating in against another group of grunts at the Academy the following weekend. It was like some stupid celebratory game played every year before graduation or some shit like that._

_I could have fucking cared less quite frankly, but Emmett's team had lost the year before, and he wanted us to kick ass this year. _

_I got about a page into the book when it was snatched out of my hand. I looked up to watch Emmett running off with it._

_I had no idea why he did shit like that, he knew I was gonna catch his ass, I was way fucking faster than him._

_I pursued him. I'm not an idiot. And I wanted my god damn book back._

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive," I whispered, staring into the blue and red flames that were flickering in front of me.

I don't know why I'd said that shit.

Maybe because I felt like the god damn fly from that fucking movie…you know, where he was half man, half bug, and he was stuck in that spider web, holding his one human arm up, begging for mercy, screaming, "Hellllp me! Helllllllp, me!"

Then someone crushes him with a fucking rock.

_Shit. _

Yep, there I was, sitting my cold ass, on the cold street, with all the other cold motherfuckers that were clustered in the homeless city where Seth lived, wishing someone would crush my ass with a rock and put me out of my god damn misery.

I was as close to the fire as I could get, huddled next to the kid, my knees were bent in front of me, my arms were just hanging over them.

The old 'used to be famous' dude was playing something on his guitar, and people were crowded around him, some humming the tune he was playing, some singing. The guy looked god damn happy and I wondered again, who he used to be.

Then I got to thinking about my owns songs in my own head, which led to the song I'd been working on that was about the 'pain in my ass' woman, who was currently unconscious because of me.

She'd be waking up soon, probably, I thought, and dad would explain to her that she needed to leave, and then I'd have one less person to worry about.

Theoretically, anyway.

So why did I feel like complete shit?

I'll fucking tell you why, my friends, because as much of a god damn idiot as I was, I knew fully fucking well that it didn't matter _where_ she was, I'd be spending what remained of my pitiful god damn future worrying about her ass.

I pulled my phone out and looked at it, tempted to fucking call my parent's house, but I knew I couldn't, so eventually, I slipped it back into my pocket and just let everything mull around in my head for a while.

We were pretty quiet sitting there for the most part, me and Seth, but I could see him from the corner of my god damn eye, staring at me like I might spontaneously fucking combust at any minute or something.

Hell, he coulda been right.

He was trying not to seem like he was staring, but you know, kids, they're not exactly fucking inconspicuous, and he was biting his nails…I could tell he had something to say, so I finally asked him through gritted teeth, "What."

"You don't look so good, Edward," he told me and I bit back the incredible god damn urge to say, "No fucking shit."

Instead, I just breathed out, rubbed my eyes and said, "Yeah, well you stink, when's the last god damn time you took a shower, kid?"

He laughed at me and turned his head to watch the fire with me. "A couple days ago, there's an outside shower a couple of streets down, but it's too cold out to take one every day, so…"

Jesus, I still couldn't wrap my head around how he'd survived like this for so long.

"Why not just leave the East Coast all together, Seth? I mean, shit, I doubt the Volturis would give enough of a fuck to follow you out of state even."

He twisted his mouth and shrugged. "I don't know, I guess I figured, this was the only place I ever knew as home, and screw them, anyway…they shouldn't be able to run people off like that. Right?"

I nodded slowly. It amazed me how much fucking courage the little shit had.

"And besides," he started again, "I was always just kinda waitin' for someone to show up who wasn't part of the organization, ya know? Someone who'd take em down, not let them buy him…and look…" he looked over to me again. "Here ya are."

He smiled and I felt a seriously fucking painful ache inside of me.

"No pressure, though," he added, trying to make me feel better I'm sure and I had to shake my head at him.

_No pressure at all, Cullen._

My forehead did that annoying creasing thing and it was clear that I didn't really know what the fuck to say to him after that, so he added, "I don't know about you, but I'm kinda sick and tired of them messin' with my life, lately."

"True that, Seth," I said, adding to the conversation finally, because sometimes, that kid just made sense, on the simplest of levels.

"Hey, where _is_ Bella, anyway?" he asked me. 'Cause he's a nosy little shit on top of being a little too god damn intuitive for his own good.

"She's…hurt, I don't think she's getting' back in the game, if ya know what I mean." It was all I was gonna say about it, I mean seriously, what else was there?

After our _deep_ ass discussion ended, we listened to 'used to be someone' play some more tunes as some of the other homeless people would make their way over, offering alcohol to us and I actually had to take shit out of Seth's hand when he made the mistake of thinking he was gonna drink.

I didn't let it go to waste, don't worry.

For the most part, I kept pretty quiet during social hour, thinking about shit and what my next move would be, and after a while, Seth asked me out of the fucking blue, "Hey Edward, can I use your cell?"

I mean, who the fuck would he be calling?

"What's wrong with yours?"

"Oh it's…got really crappy reception here, thought I'd try yours."

"Who do you need to call, Seth? Other than me, I mean, and I'm right fucking here."

He hesitated a minute and then said, "Well, I, guess I really wanted to see what kinda games you have on yours."

I laughed. "Alright but don't call anyone, kid, the cops are probably tracing my shit."

"Got it, no calls from your phone, okay," he said smiling as I handed it to him, wondering what the fuck he was really up to, but figured shit, he probably really did just wanna play the god damn games.

_Typical fucking teenager, despite his homelessness._

Ya know, you'd think being homeless, these people would be sittin' around, all depressed and shit, feelin' sorry for themselves and the situations they'd somehow found themselves in. These people though, they made the best of what they'd been dealt, and I started feeling like I was at a damn party after a while, talking with some of them, laughing even.

"Hey Jack!" I heard Seth yell over to the old 'used to be someone' dude, who looked over at him with a mostly toothless smile. "Edward plays guitar, can he play?"

_Oh shit._

"Seth, I don't really play, I just…"

"Bologna, Edward," he said, teasing me. "I've seen your guitar, it's really expensive, and all those notes and stuff you had next to it? You writin' songs or somethin'?"

What was this kid? The fucking guitar police?

"You've got pretty good skills in paying attention to details, kid, you'd make a good P.I. some day," I told him, trying to change the subject.

"I'm gonna be a crabber," he said, adamantly, then I scowled at him. "A crabber."

"Yeah. And I'm gonna own my own boat, too."

_Huh._

"Well you'll make a great investigative crabber then." I laughed as old Jack came over and handed me his guitar.

"Oh, no thanks, I really don't play for…you know, people." I pushed it back at him.

"We're all nobody's here, boy, go ahead, play." He shoved it into my hands again and Seth was all lookin' at me like I was gonna break his fucking heart if I didn't play, which annoyed the shit out of me.

People started sitting around like they were getting ready for a Paul Simon fucking concert or something and I figured, what the fuck. I sat down with them and the old man's piece, then started playing what I'd originally figured on tucking away into my book of shit that was all burned to hell now anyway.

After strumming a few chords on the thing, I thought, damn, this guy actually kept that shit in tune for the most part.

I tweaked a couple of the chords, but other than that, it was right on as far as tuning.

I cleared my throat as I began playing the song I'd been working on, it was fresh in my head since I'd pretty much practiced it every chance I'd had, when Swan was out fuckin' around with god damn Newton. It was the only thing keeping me from punching more holes into my fucking drywall, after all.

You'd have thought I was playing for the fucking Phil Harmonic or some shit like that, the way these people were paying attention to every word that came out of my mouth. It made me god damn self conscious if you really wanna know.

I was a little fucking nervous to tell you the truth. I'd never REALLY played in public before, other than for my family when I was younger, and a few of those annoying fucking recitals they make you do when you're in lessons, where only the parents come and try to make you feel like you're the best thing since sliced motherfucking bread when really, you sound about as shitty as a god damn bird with a worm stuck in its throat or something.

But I digress.

It felt pretty cool to play the song, overall. I mean, I'd been working on it, yeah, but to play it in its entirety like that, it was like, finishing a case, or, following your gut instinct, and then finding out your gut was right, which I gotta say, I do a lot, and it feels pretty fucking phenomenal.

As I finished up, a few people clapped and Seth was smiling all goofy and shit at me.

I didn't really get a chance to ask him what the fuck he was smiling at because before I could open my mouth, I heard a familiar feminine voice from behind me and it stopped me dead.

"Your talents never cease to amaze me, Cullen," she said, and the sound of her voice gave me fucking goose bumps.

And pissed me off.

Because it just fucking figured that she wouldn't god damn listen to a _fucking_ word I said.

I breathed out long and hard, then handed the old battered guitar to its owner and thanked him. "She's in really good shape," I said to him and he just nodded at me, rolling his eyes, as if to say, 'no god damn shit, idiot'.

I smiled and laughed a little through my nose as I got up to my feet and turned to face Bella, who didn't look all that happy to see me, wiping the smile right the fuck off of my face.

"Bella, I…"

Her expression did this fucked up morphing thing when I said her name like that. It kinda went from, 'I am so fucking happy to see you', to 'what the fuck did you just say?' to 'oh yeah, I forgot, I'm royally pissed off at you right now'.

It through me off enough to stop me from what I was gonna say and then I didn't get the rest out anyway, because her very tiny, very powerful fucking fist met the side of my jaw in an, oh so, 'I'm gonna fuck your ass up right now' kinda way.

"Ffffffff…HUCK!" I yelled out, hearing Seth laugh off in the distance, as all the wussy ass homeless people got up and moved away from us like the cowards they are. "Jesus CHRIST, Swan, what the hell was that for?"

"For thinking you could just…tell me to go home to…_FORKS_…and do this shit on your own! That's what! What's the matter with you, anyway? What am I? Some…THING you can just SHIP off once you're done with it?"

Did she just say something? I couldn't hear with all the god damn ringing in my fucking ears.

"Jesus! FUCK that shit hurt, what do you have brass knuckles on or something?"

Seriously.

"No, hmmmm, too bad too, I shoulda thought of that."

My jaw mighta hurt, but she was waving her hand in front of her, so at least I know my fucking head was hard enough to make her wince.

No comments from the Peanut Gallery with regards to the hard headed reference.

I rubbed out the pain in my jaw and then said to her, "I guess you're feeling better."

She rolled her eyes at me and started to walk away mumbling something like, "Fucking asshole," but I grabbed her, 'cause that's what I fucking do, and pulled her back, looked her into her deep brown eyes, feeling painfully glad that she was the regular old, smart mouthed, stubborn ass, doesn't listen worth a shit woman I knew and loved.

_Loved._

She was all stiff and shit at first, looking at me with that typical 'Swan' defiant, I hate your ass look, but then, her shoulders slacked, and her eyes softened, a little, as she exhaled like she'd finally been defeated by the big bad asshole that I was.

Seriously though, I was waiting for another knuckle punch, but it never came and I finally decided it might be safe to talk. There was shit she needed to know, and with our track record of late, I knew I needed to get it out before something else blew up, or cocaine got planted on us, or hell, someone might have fucking shot at us.

"Newton knows, it was him at the office. He's the one that left the guns."

That snapped her back into P.I. mode. "How did you…" she started to ask.

"Jazzman," I answered, knowing where she was going with that question, and she nodded.

"Good," she finally said, which wasn't exactly the reaction I was looking for. It make me chuckle in all honesty, because with this woman, I truly just never fucking knew what the hell she was gonna say about shit.

"What do you mean, _good_?"

"I mean, good, I don't have to go around acting like I like the guy anymore, that was…really gross."

I laughed at loud at that shit, because honestly, I loved the fact that she found him gross.

I mean, shit, he was worse than that, and I could think of a million other words to describe the fuck-twat, but hearing her say it like that, made my god damn day.

She started laughing too and then before I knew it, pissed off, revenge seeking, knuckle punching Swan was gone, and the beautiful woman I now realized I loved, was back.

"Anyone follow you?"

She smiled bigger this time, and said, "Much thanks to Rose, I can honestly say, no."

I could only have imagined what the fuck that meant.

Unfortunately, the laughing, smiling happy time didn't last long, because that was about when I noticed something odd off in the distance behind Swan.

I mean, Bella.

I might not have noticed that shit either, except that the light from the moon reflected off of something shiny and after I adjusted my eyesight, I realized that the something shiny was attached to a person that I couldn't quite get a good look at.

It didn't seem the norm for any of the homeless people living in that little area to wander off so far from the group.

"Cullen?" Bella asked, wondering why the laughter had ceased, I guess.

When I scanned around further and saw more movement about fifty yards from the first perp, I knew something was up.

"Edward." She was serious now, realizing shit was about to go down.

I was too busy thinking to answer her, though. Hell, who knew how many more there were. They didn't seem to be moving in yet, but that didn't mean shit, they would be soon.

What I didn't know, was if they were there on their own, or if they were waiting for word from whoever might be in charge before they made any advances.

"Did you call anyone on your way here?" I asked her.

"No, I mean, well I tried but the service sucked, I think the guys that were tailing me were tapping my cell, the only call I actually took was when I was leaving Rose's shop, and that was from…" She scrunched her face before finishing with, "Seth."

I exhaled and then just hung my head down to let it sink in, because, honestly, how the fuck else would she have found me?

"Right, of course," I seethed, then without moving or looking, I called over to the kid.

"Seth," I said in as much of a controlled voice as I fucking could, considering there were several, possible hit men, _maybe_ undercover cops surrounding us as the moment.

"Yeah?" he asked, all fucking, 'My Three Sons' and shit.

"Did you make any calls from my cell phone?"

"No, you said not to." The words sounded right, but his voice was hiding something, so I tilted my head a little toward him and gave him a cocked eyebrow, and he further explained, "I just used it to get Bella's number, but I called her from a pay phone. I swear."

"Well you did SOMETHING."

He twisted his mouth.

"Seth."

"I wasn't calling anyone; I was just looking for…" He looked at Swan like he was embarrassed and I was not looking forward to hearing what the fuck he was gonna say when he finally ended with, "porn."

My eyes closed, and my eyebrows shot up, and then I was officially unable to control my own fucking temper at that point throwing my hands up in the air in frustration. "Jesus mother of fucking horny ass teenagers, are you _kidding_ me with this shit?"

"You said don't make _phone calls_," he shot back, defending himself.

I moved over to him, holding my hands up in order to explain shit to him, and he backed up a tad, giving me space. "Seth, you make any kind of contact with the little things up in the sky called…_SATELLITES_…and they. will. find. you."

Jesus, that kid needed a lesson in the spy tactics of the government.

"Cullen, come on," Swan was saying, trying to calm me down, but shit, this kids lasts a year on the streets, keeping out of the fucking Voluturi's grasp, but he doesn't know how god damn satellites work?

"Sorry," Seth squeaked out, but it didn't really fucking matter at that point, by then, the unknown perps had noticed movement and they were advancing some.

"We gotta get outta here," I told Bella, ignoring his ass.

"My trucks over…shit." She pointed to the side street where Shitty Shitty was, but she was using the right word, because one of the perps was already hanging out, trying to be all non-fucking-chalant and shit, covering the truck.

_Fuck me._

"Okay, let's figure out how many there are," I told her, while all the previously mentioned homeless cowards, who'd realized shit was about to go down, scattered and hid from the dicks coming to either take us in, or take us down, whichever.

"I see one, eleven O'clock."

"_My_ eleven O'clock, or _your_ eleven O'clock?"

"Cullen, how would I see them, if it was YOUR eleven O'clock?" she asked, sarcastically.

"Right," I said, then added, "I've got two on my side."

"There's another one," Seth told us and that actually fucking reminded me that he was there, again. "Seth, you need to take off."

"What? Why?" he whined, like I'd just taken his fucking teddy bear away from him or some shit like that.

I turned to give him another piece of my god damn mind, when Swan piped in with a much more convincing speech.

"Seth, if something happens to us, and these guys get a hold of you, who knows what would happen. Please, just stay out of sight, and we'll come get you when things die down." She was checking her gun for bullets, and I was mentally pushing down the hard on that was raging in my fucking jeans from watching her check for said bullets.

_God damn dick._

Seth made a face like he'd been stabbed in the heart or something, but then took off with the rest of the homeless and then I pulled my own gun out.

Our visitors were starting to move in slowly when Swan told me, "Your mom gave me some stuff, it's in the truck," and I was thinking, well that shit wasn't gonna help much, now, was it?

I sucked in a breath of air, and thought for a split second, then told her, "Okay, I think this is gonna work best if we split up."

Bella was ready, she had her game face on, and I was glad, 'cause I really needed game face, gave a gang-banger a broken wrist, almost shot my ass twice, Swan, for this shit.

I started spouting off the plan that was concocting itself in my head. "Hopefully they'll underestimate your ass and only one'll follow you, I can take the…"

"Wait," she cut me off, "you mean you don't think I can handle more than one?"

Now, although I love a feisty Swan, hand on hip, arched eyebrow and all, we just couldn't fucking afford for me to stop and really give her a hard time about that comment.

I laughed a sarcastic laugh at her, "Bella, seriously, these guys have guns, these aren't punks off the streets."

"Cullen, I'll have you know...that…"

"Bella."

"What?" she asked, annoyed as hell.

"Shut up," I said, and then kissed her before adding, "try not to kill anyone if you can help it." Then I took off in the direction of some buildings behind us, where I figured I could get them to split up looking for me.

"See ya when it's over!" I yelled over my shoulder.

I zig zagged through the halls of one of the abandoned housing units and flew up the stairs as I heard voices entering behind me. "He went up! You go that way!"

_Suckers._

The good news was, I _did_ get multiple dick-heads to follow me, even though it would have been smarter on their parts to send more after Swan, abduct her, _then_ get me to surrender, but you can't really expect these idiots to be that smart.

Seriously.

The bad news however, was that I only heard two voices, which meant either that number three was a mute, or that two had gone after Swan, and that meant I needed to wrap up my end of the chase quickly and go help her out.

I was betting on the latter.

I stopped behind a doorway in some random ass room, waiting in the absolute darkness for idiot number one to make his way to me, but both he and his partner were so far off the scent that it was god damn ridiculous, so I threw them a god damn bone and made some noise to attract their attention.

It worked, which was great and all, except for the fact that that I'd attracted BOTH of the idiots attention, and I now needed to pull off a double whammy, instead of taking them down one by one.

It was do-able, don't get me wrong, it would just take me a little longer than I expected is all.

I waited, and just as they were about to enter the room, idiot number one was met with a door to the face, pushing him back into idiot number two, and I got into a defensive stance, complete with adrenalin rush, ready for both of their asses.

I heard a gun, or something equally as fucking heavy, fall to the floor, which tipped me off that they weren't there just to take us in, consciously anyway, so I pulled my Colt out, evening the score with whoever still had his equipment of choice on him.

I pointed and cocked my gun at idiot number two, as he made his move, and luckily, he was the one without a weapon, because that shit stopped him dead in his tracks. He put his hands up in surrender and I nodded at him, asking, "Who are you working for, Aro or the mayor?"

The shit-head just laughed at the question and I was about shoot his ass just for being a dick, when I heard another gun's click into 'ready to shoot Cullen's ass' mode.

Coming back up behind idiot number two, was idiot number one again, who'd regained his balance, with his piece of shit gun pointed at me, telling me to lower my weapon.

Yeah, like that was gonna happen.

"I don't fucking think so, you get trigger happy and I'm offing your partner here," I told him, but that was the wrong thing to say, I guess, because at that, he pointed his gun an inch to his left, pulled the trigger, and just like that, my bargaining piece was gone, along with idiot number two's head.

I was a little shocked, but had to admit, it had been a smart move on the ass-fuck's part. They clearly were trained to deal with their own hostage situations.

His gun pointed back at me within seconds and mine was pointed right back at him, but fucking luckily, before anyone got shot, especially yours truly, he was hit over the head with a god damn…tire iron?

Just like that, his ass was out cold, face down in front of me.

I looked up from his body and saw Seth, standing there with the cheesiest grin on his face, and a tire iron in his hand, patting against his other palm.

"Un-fucking-believable," I said to no one.

"Hey, Edward," He said, as though he hadn't just fucking knocked the shit out of a hit man.

"Fucking, Seth, why didn't you stay out of this shit?" I asked him, wondering why in the hell he'd put his life in danger like that for anyone…much less, me. I mean seriously, the kid coulda fucking died.

He just answered with, "You're welcome."

Okay, he had me there.

"Thanks," I said, and then, "We need to get downstairs," as I ran past him, and down the stairs.

He followed me out to the street where Swan was holding her own, but I could tell the two ass-hats that she was fighting were wearing her ass down.

As we got a little closer to the chaos, I put a hand on Seth's shoulder and told him, "Stay. The fuck. Out of this one." And he did this time, backing off, but held his tire iron in his hand in case I needed him.

I pulled one of the assholes off of her and punched him in his god damn face, half expecting a little bit of fucking gratitude from Swan, but _noooooooooo_.

"You're such an…" She back-fisted the guy that was still attacking her. "…_idiot!"_

My guy swung at me and missed and I side kicked his ass. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I shot back at her.

"We wouldn't be in this…" Her thug went for his gun but she kicked that shit out of his hand and it went flying, "…mess right now if you'd have just _stayed_ at your _parents_."

"That wouldn't have been fair…" my guy came at me with a knife and I swatted that shit away, "to you _or_ them."

"Fair? Cullen, how the hell do you come UP with this stuff?" her guy was making another move for her, and she front kicked, but he grabbed her leg, swinging her around so his arm was around her neck, choking her.

That shit pissed me off, not to mention the fact that my guy kneed me in the gut when I let him get too close, so I grabbed the back of his neck and kneed him right back, in his fucking face, throwing him backwards and onto the concrete.

"Come up with…? Swan, I left because I didn't wanna see your ass in danger anymore; you do realize you almost fucking died at my apartment, right?"

"Carlisle…said it…was a mild concussion…!" She said through a strangled voice, then she swung her leg backwards at the knee and kicked her guy in the fucking nuts.

I winced, because, been there, done that, and that shit hurts.

"Does it really god damn matter?" I asked her. I tried to make it over to her, but the asshole I was beating the shit out of grabbed my ankle, tripping me up. "Fuck! I mean, the fact of the fucking matter, SWAN, is that I left because I didn't wanna put you in fucking danger!"

Swan scowled as she made a move to run toward her truck. "You are SO selfish! You know that?"

Her guy adjusted himself and yelled out, "bitch!" as he ran after her.

"Selfish!" I half screamed, half fucking laughed because shit if I thought I was actually being quite god damn _Unselfish_ with that shit.

_Fucking women._

I pulled away from ankle biter asshole but he pushed himself off of the ground again and grabbed, a-fucking-gain, making me stumble to the ground. "I like to call it being in fucking love with you!"

She stopped for a second, and then turned and huffed at me. Hard. And then shouted, throwing her hands up in the air, "That is SO FUCKING typical of you, Cullen!"

She noticed the fuck-head she was fighting had gotten a whole hell of a lot closer to her and she dove into the truck and I was thinking, what the fuck did she think she was gonna do, lock him out?

I kicked my guy in the face and he finally fell unconscious as I made my way over to the truck too, asking "What the fuck are you talking about, _typical_?"

I wasn't quite in reach of him as the goon that was chasing after Bella made it to her and grabbed at her shirt, just as she turned around with something in her hands, and he flew backwards.

I moved in time for him to fall in front of me, onto the pavement, flat on his back, and he was now unconscious too.

I looked back at Swan, who was holding up a tazer, and she said, a little out of breath, "Typical that you would say something THAT profound to me, right in the middle of something like this, so I don't have time to react properly."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked, "You're kidding, right?"

"No I'm not _kidding_ you!" she yelled, "You do shit like that because _you_ don't want to have to deal with the reaction you might get from me!"

"Are you seriously psycho-fucking-god-damn-analyzing me right now, Swan?" I mean, seriously.

"Fine," she said stubbornly, throwing the tazer back into her truck and waving her hand at me, "Say it again, then."

"What?" I asked, amused at the way she was fucking daring me, like I wouldn't fucking say it again. Like I _couldn't _fucking say it again.

I know, ri-god damn-diculous.

Right?

"Say. It. A. _Gain_." She said, slowly, crossing her arms and tilting her head just a little bit, arching an eyebrow.

I narrowed my eyes at her, and huffed through my nose, the side of my mouth raising a tad in disgust at her disbelief, then I stepped over the body that lay in front of me, and stalked over to her purposefully.

Her arms fell as I closed the gap between us, and I smirked, remembering that first day in her office, when she was dancing to Elvis. She had that same, unsureness suddenly in her eyes, like I scared her a little.

Maybe she was bluffing, maybe didn't wanna hear the words, but at that point, I really didn't give a fuck.

When I made it over to her, and she was finally doing that crossing and un-crossing thing she does with her arms and the blush had risen to her cheeks, I looked down at her, and put my hands on her arms to stop 'em from moving, or wacking me in the god damn face, whichever.

I bent my knees a little, so I was completely level with her, and looked directly into her eyes when I finally said, "I. Love. You."

It was the single most perfect sounding fucking sentence I'd ever heard or said in my entire existence.

I shit you not.

Swan's mouth fell open a little, and I could literally feel her body warm at my touch, which ya know, I had to admit, I fucking adored the hell out of getting that reaction from her.

"I…don't," she started stuttering, like she was looking for something to say, but I cut her off. She wasn't gonna talk her way out of this shit. "I love you," I repeated.

"Think…" she muttered as I leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"I love you," I whispered it into her ear this time, kissing behind it, afterwards. It got easier and easier to say every time, and felt more and more absolute with each time it passed my god damn lips.

"You're…" she whispered, and I kissed her jaw while she tilted her head some, allowing me the access I needed, that I wanted.

Fucking desperately.

"I love you," I echo'd the words, smiling.

When I reached her lips, I said it one more god damn time, just in case the previous times hadn't sunk in yet. Because if nothing fucking else, I knew she was a hard headed motherfucker.

"I love you," I rasped, closing my eyes, the weight of saying the words affecting me more than I'd given them the opportunity to do up until then.

I pressed my lips against hers softly, and she pushed her tongue past them, entering my mouth with all the excitement that I'd just built up inside of her, raising her arms, so they weren't in my grasp anymore, wrapping them around my neck, pulling me into her harder.

My hands rested on her hips, but eventually fisted the material there that was separating us. Eddy Jr. was alive and kickin' of course, so he _blatantly_ fucking grinded up against her, even though that wasn't what I wanted that shit to be about.

Bella groaned a little in reaction to him though, and pressed her chest up against me some, giving me the distinct god damn impression that she was on board with my dick's plan, whatever the hell it was.

That was about when I heard Seth clear his throat, and I ended the kiss, but held Bella tight against me.

She licked her lips and looked up at me, then said, smiling, "I love you, too."

"Seth," I said, not breaking eye contact with the woman in my arms.

"Yeah, Edward?"

"Get some help and tie up the dick-heads that are still alive somewhere," I told him, and he did, saying, "I'll keep any eye out, too!" as he left us alone.

Ya really gotta appreciate his fucking enthusiasm about shit, ya know?

"Where?" I asked, kissing her hard on the lips this time, not able to fucking control my immature, 'I gotta have her right now' urges anymore.

"Don't…care," she mumbled in between the molestations I was committing on her mouth.

I bent down and picked her ass up, then carried her into another empty building, and found us a nice quiet, 'cold as a motherfucker because all of the god damn windows were blown out' corner somewhere.

I set her down, and took my jacket off, laying it down on the floor so it wouldn't be quite so fucking uncomfortable for me when I sat down.

What? I wasn't putting HER on the bottom, have you FELT a concrete floor in the middle of fucking winter before?

Bella mirrored me as we both kicked our shoes off, and I pulled my jeans down and off of me, cringing. "Shhhhit it's fucking cold."

She laughed and agreed, taking her's off too, but I made her keep her top on, because a sick Bella was not on my god damn agenda.

"Come here," I told her as I sat down, immediately pulling her sexy ass on top of me and she made it pretty god damn clear that she wasn't planning on bothering with the fucking foreplay as she kissed me hard, sinking her hot, wet god damn core right the fuck down onto my dick, lifting and lowering herself slowly.

"Fuuuuuck," I whispered against her lips, 'cause shit if that wasn't the best heat generating feeling in the entire god damn tri state area. "You are so god damn wet."

"No shit, Cullen," she teased, pushing down hard to let me get deeper and I murmured against her neck, things like, "feels so fucking good," and, "god I fucking missed you."

We shivered our fucking asses off, but didn't really give a flying fuck. She was grinding and rolling against me, and I was kissing her neck, sucking on it, biting it, like we were back in my apartment, with none of the shitstorm going on around us.

"Say it again, Cullen," she said, and I fucked with her, by starting to say, "Feels so fucking…"

"Not that," she said, slapping the side of my head, and I flinched, laughing. "Ow."

"I wanna hear you say it again, Cullen." She kissed my neck as a way of convincing me, but I corrected her ass that time.

"Say it again, _what?_" I asked, pulling her hips against me, trying to hit her g-spot while in the most uncomfortable, god for-fucking-saken position I'd ever been. "Oh!…Edward!" She yelped, "say it again, _Edward_."

I smiled and obliged her as she continued rolling her hips against me. "I love you."

I opened up her shirt some and kissed the valley between her breasts, silently cursing the fucking bra she was wearing for being on her. I wanted the nipplage.

Then I decided, ya know what, fuck the cold, I was getting god damn nipplage.

I pulled her bra down and although she hissed from the exposure, she let me. I cupped her breast, taking her clearly cold and very taught nipple into my mouth, sucking hard, maybe even nibbling a little bit, yeah, definitely nibbling, eliciting a moan from Bella. "Mmmmmmmm….fuck."

_Fucking tell me about it, Swan._

"MMmmph." I moaned back, feeling pretty fucking close to cumming from the urgency I was feeling in her movements then, but trying to hold that fuckery back until she came.

She rolled harder, getting herself off while she arched her back, pushing her breasts into my face even further, and I buried my head there, it was fucking warm, and I didn't give a shit that I couldn't breathe.

"Oh!" She cried out.

_Close._

I pulled her down onto me hard, and thought I was gonna god damn die from withholding a fucking orgasm from myself.

Her eyes closed as I looked up at her, watching her face scrunch from the intensity she was feeling and I told her, "I fucking love you, Bella Swan," pushing her over the edge.

"Oh my god!" She moaned out, and then I let go, cumming hard and wrapping my arms around her tight.

That shit was intense, and I couldn't fucking move for a few minutes, to tell ya the truth.

I wasn't god damn cold anymore either, so that was a plus.

Swan however, was shivering, and I needed to get her by the fire, like, fucking pronto, so I stood us up and helped her get dressed, putting my jacket around her shoulders before pulling my jeans back on.

We walked out to the fire laughing at how completely fucking juvenile we were, getting' our fuck on in an abandoned god damn building because we just couldn't fucking wait to get somewhere like, oh, say, a bed.

I hoped that feeling never went away.

As we arrived over at the fire, I noticed the three goons that we'd been fighting earlier, were indeed tied up and gagged, and had been placed into the back of Bella's truck.

"We need to do something with them before they wake up, I'm not in the fucking mood for twenty god damn questions with these assholes, it's not like we don't know who sent them anyway."

Bella made a face, recognizing one of them. "That guy knows Mike," she said quietly, then whipped her head around to me and added, "Edward, Emmett's…"

She bit her lip, like she didn't know what she was gonna say next or something.

"Emmett's…what?" I asked, almost ready to hear something I really didn't wanna fucking hear.

"He's been working undercover for the last two years for Muldoon, and they think Mike is involved in some illegal fire arms slash drug dealing ring and they think _Aro Volturi_ is in charge of it and I don't know how many other police officers are involved but he said the unit is putting a lot of pressure on him because they think he's working with you and he could be in a lot of trouble…"

She took a breath. Fucking finally, and I stopped her from continuing on with that shit. I honestly didn't know if my brain could keep up with her.

"Jesus, Swan, babble much?" I asked, scowling at her ass, trying to take in everything she'd just blurted out at me.

"Sorry," she said, blushing again, and I laughed at her ass.

It didn't last long though, because it really hit me hard, realizing that Em was getting heat because of me, and that shit just wasn't fucking cool.

She told me all about the rest of her conversation with Em at a slower pace, and how she hadn't heard from Newton, which I was thinking, although normally I'd be happy about that, it probably wasn't a good thing. He was planning something.

"Okay, this is gonna sound…" I shook my head a little, I mean, I really didn't know what the fuck it was gonna sound like, but it was all I had at the moment. "I need to turn myself in."

I waited, but nothing came out of her mouth.

No disagreement, no argument, no smart-alecky remark, just a blank look on Bella's face.

"Bella," I said, trying to snap her out of her daze.

She blinked, that was good.

"Look," I started, "It makes sense."

"How' that, Cullen?" she asked, her hand moving to her hip as she spoke.

"If I'm in jail, they can't blame Em for anything having to do with me, and if he's already on the case, then," I had to stop to make sure that even I believed what I was about to fucking say. "Then, maybe it's about time I exercised that trust he keeps bugging the shit out of me to have."

"No," she told me very fucking vehemently.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, no."

"Bella."

"No, Edward, jail is not the safest place for you right now, who knows how many of those officers are dirty, they might…" she didn't wanna finish the thought, and to be perfectly fucking honest, I didn't want her to, either.

A couple of minutes later, I realized, "It's gotta be Em."

"What?"

"Em's gotta be the one to take me in, he'll make sure I get placed somewhere safe."

She was completely silent again, so I continued.

"And you need to be the one to call in my location, so you're not implicated in any of this shit, either."

Still, nothin'.

"Bella?"

"I'm not turning you in, Edward." She shook her head, looking down at her feet and I pulled her chin up to look at me. "Listen, I need you on the outside, helping Em. Contact Alice, tell her to tell Jazz what the fuck is goin' on and he'll help, too."

She pursed her lips at me, creating a fucking hole in my chest, and I told her, "Get my file on Jess from your apartment too, it's got more info on what the hell happened than anything the police are gonna have for Em to look over."

Then I thought of another important piece of information, and added, "If you see Newton _anywhere_ near your apartment, or if he ends up following you somehow, bail. Find Em and do not go home, understand?"

She wouldn't say anything, I think she was waitin' for me to tell her I was fucking joking, I don't know, but I needed her head in the god damn game. "Bella, you're on board, right? You can fucking do this."

Her bottom lip started quivering a little bit and tears starting to form in her eyes, but she swallowed them down and nodded.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to her.

"Make the call."


	24. Miscalculations & Misguided Intentions

**CHAPTER 23 ~ "Miscalculations and Misguided Intentions"

* * *

**

**PART 1. THE SWAN**

"He wants to _what_?" Emmett was yelling into the other end of the phone.

Once I'd told him Edward's _plan_, he kinda had a bit of a conniption fit.

Okay, 'kinda' is an understatement, but you get what I mean. I tried a couple of times to interrupt his tirade, but he just kept cutting me off.

"Tell that _jack ass_ that there's _no way in HELL_ I'm taking him in, I don't give a shit if he DOES think he's _doing us all a fucking favor_ by way of this completely _shit_ plan."

"Okay, but Em, he…"

"And tell him I think he's an idiot, too."

"I will but…"

"And if he thinks for _one minute_…"

"JESUS!" I finally screamed, and Cullen's eyebrows shot up, a little shocked at the tone in my voice I guess, but hey, I can be commanding too, when I wanna be.

As he knew well enough from our multiple bedroom encounters.

And a few kitchen ones too.

"Tell him your SELF," I said, and then handed the cell phone over to Edward, walking away.

Cullen took a nice deep breath before putting the phone to his ear and I just sat back and watched the show as he began his attempt at convincing his brother that he should take him to jail. "Em…_listen_…yeah, I know, but if you…well I was thinking that…no, I didn't think that far ahead…yes, but she has you…Emmett…Em…Fuck!...EM!"

He held the phone away from his ear and out to the side, making a funny face at me while he made a gesture with his hand to insinuate Emmett's babble fest. When it sounded quiet enough to start talking again, he went right back into his side of the argument.

I'll admit, I had been hoping Emmett would be able to convince Edward that there was another way around the issues he was concerned about, but Edward is pretty stubborn, and always seems to think it's his sole responsibility to fix things that are broken, so yeah, I wasn't betting on that happening.

Seth asked if I needed anything and I told him no, then remembered I had food in the truck, from Esme, and gave him some sandwiches to share with the other people that were still around.

They didn't last very long.

When I got back around to listening in on Cullen's conversation, he seemed a little less stressed than he had been, looking quite contemplative about something.

"Fucking _brilliant_!" he yelled and I thought, wow, that was a switch from him getting defensive with Emmett.

"No, no! That's actually a _really_ good goddamn idea, Em, I like it, I like it a lot."

"What?" I whispered, but he just held up a finger to me, making that face he liked to make at me, with his mouth turning down and his eyebrows scrunching up, telling me to be patient and wait. Then he turned around so his back was to me and said some more secret Cullen conversation crap to Emmett so I couldn't hear him.

_Retard._

"Okay, you call Alice, and I'll…" he looked at me, thinking about something. "…fill Swan in…yeah, I'll see ya when ya get here."

He was about to end the call but then looked at me and thought of something. "Hey, Em!" he called out, making sure Em didn't hang up on him yet. "Listen," he said, still staring into my eyes, and I felt the intensity of the orgasm he'd just given me a little while ago all over again, shivering a little.

"Make sure Newton hears about this, I want him to think he heard about it all goin' down by pure accident though, can you make that happen?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, wondering what in the world he was up to, but he didn't break his expression as he put his hand up to the crease in my forehead, smoothing it out for me as he continued to listen to Emmett again.

Then he smiled. "Perfect," he said, then the call was done and he slid the cell phone back into his pocket and clapped his hands together, rubbing them and asked, "Anymore of those sandwiches left?" all, _happy_ and what not.

I really didn't get him sometimes.

"Cullen," I said, serious as a heart attack.

"Swan," he said back, mocking me, as usual.

"What's the plan?"

"I'll tell you, but only if you get me a sandwich," he teased. He thought he was so cute too, making that smirky face he liked to make all the time.

"I might have saved…_one_," I smiled up at him, reaching into the truck and getting the last roast beef.

He filled me in on what he'd gone over with Emmett, and I gotta say, although I wasn't crazy about Edward heading off to "jail", at least they had a better plan in place than what he'd originally thought of.

I still didn't like it overall and made sure he was very clear on where I stood. He wasn't listening to me though..._At all.._.And that was really grating on my last nerves.

I'd babble on about all of the things that could go wrong, and he just smiled at me while he ate his stupid sandwich. I'm pretty sure I told him a couple of times to stop patronizing me, but that just made him laugh harder and I wondered if he'd finally just, snapped. Lost his mind all together.

"Ma makes the best goddamn roast beef sandwiches of all fucking time, did you get one of these?" he asked me, with about two or three bites left. "You wanna bite?" His mouth was full and if I hadn't heard him talk with a boat load of food in it before, I would have had no clue what he's was saying.

I wanted to laugh at him and slap him at the same time. "No thanks," I said to him with an attitude. I just couldn't understand why he wasn't taking this more seriously.

As it was, though, we didn't have a whole lot of time that we'd be together before his brother arrived, and I didn't really want to argue with him during that time, so I just asked him, with a final sigh of defeat, "What do you need me to do."

"Well," he said as he shoved his last bite into his mouth and licked his fingers, "for one thing, you can make sure Seth gets to my dad's house and fucking stays there."

I handed him a bottle of water Esme had sent with me, too, and he guzzled that down in one swig.

I didn't know what he meant by that last part, but I agreed.

When he finished his water, he threw the empty bottle into the truck and with a stare I knew all too well, and liked, a lot, he said, "But before that, you can do this," he finished, as he put his hands on either side of my face, his lips against mine, and I felt all of the little pricks of electricity that I'd felt that very first day I'd met him, in his office, after ruining the infamous pictures that started this whole mess.

Everything that was happening melted away, and for the few minutes that his tongue moved with mine, and his hands caressed the skin on my neck and cheeks, I forgot that he was about to put his life in danger yet again.

When he stopped kissing me, his lips moved to my forehead and they remained there for a fraction longer than they might normally have before he put them to my ear and whispered, "I love you."

My eyes closed and I hugged him around his waist tight, smiling at the sound of those words, letting out a nice, long, contented sigh.

I'd almost thought they were some warped out day dream earlier when he'd said them, caused by the lack of oxygen to my brain when that jerk off was strangling me…which is probably why Cullen had repeated it several times for me the way he had.

Hearing him say them again, when there was no fight going on, or anyone around to distract him, meant even more than they did the first time.

"I love you too," I told him, biting back tears that threatened to fall. The woman part of me wanted to cry, wanted to hide somewhere until the storm passed and not deal with the shit that we were involved in.

The Private Investigator part of me wanted to knock his ass out and take him with me.

I sighed, knowing either one of those scenarios weren't gonna happen, and knowing that no matter what happened from that point on, I was his, and visa versa, and that was just gonna have to be enough to see me through this shit.

I didn't want to let go as Cullen pulled us apart and I felt like he didn't really want to either, but he knew we needed to square some things away before Emmett got there.

"Wait," I said, cutting him off before he'd had a chance to say anything and he waited, curious as to what I looked so annoyed about. "You're not…saying _IT_, because you think you're gonna die or something are you? Because if that's why you're saying it, Cullen…"

He laughed and interjected, "Swan."

"What?"

"Shut. Up." He acted like I was a kid sometimes, I swear.

"I'm serious, Edward, I don't like this whole…" I waved my hands in the air, looking for the right word to use to accurately describe the crazy situation we'd fallen into.

He laughed again and asked me, "Do you honestly think someone as fucking lame as Newton is gonna take 'Edward motherfuckin' can't do shit wrong even when he tries, Cullen' down?" He shook his head in mock disappointment.

I just rolled my eyes at him, and he continued, a little more seriously. "I said it because I fucking mean it."

I knew he had. I was just, freaking out…Okay?

Cullen moved on, not because he didn't want to talk about our declarations to each other, but because we didn't have a lot of time left.

"You need to make sure Seth stays out of the lime light, I know he wants to help, but shit, the kid's gonna get himself killed if he's not careful."

"Got it."

"And when you get to your apartment, you get in, get out, and check back in with Em, immediately, understand? I know you think you're bad ass, but I'm not gonna be able to think straight if I think you're out there trying to nut punch every tom dick and motherfuckin' harry."

I twisted my mouth a little, not wanting to agree to that one, but I said, "Okay."

He went over a few more points he wanted to make, and when Emmett called to say he was about five minutes out, I kissed Edward one last time before moving the truck to a side street and then scooting off with Seth into one of the closest abandoned buildings, to keep us both out of sight.

We headed to an upstairs room that gave us a good view, listening capabilities, and darkness to keep us hidden.

I knew it would be hard to watch, but I also knew that since it was his brother that was taking him in, that it wasn't like he was gonna get hurt or anything.

Theoretically.

It wasn't until I saw _two_ cruisers pull up, that I had a sinking feeling in my stomach begin to churn.

Then when I saw who'd stepped _out_ of the second cruiser, I realized, Cullen had left a few key points out of his plan when he'd filled me in.

"Mike?" I asked no one in particular, out loud, remembering how Cullen had wanted Emmett to make sure Mike would hear about him taking Edward in, but not exactly understanding WHY.

Seth noticed my perplexity and asked, "Who's that?"

"That, Seth, is the Devil incarnate…or at least, he's a close relative."

Seth nodded, and we both went back to being quiet so we could hear what was going on.

Mike had the smuggest look on his face as he rounded the front of his vehicle and he patted Emmett on the shoulder when he passed him as though congratulating him for something.

Cullen nodded toward Mike and asked, "What the hell is he doing here?" to Emmett. "I thought the deal was just you."

"Protocol, little bro, you're armed and dangerous, two units is a requirement…besides," Emmett smirked a little, but not much, "he heard me call the collar into Muldoon."

"You didn't really think Muldoon would put up with your BROTHER taking you in all by his lonesome, now, did ya Cullen? I mean what are we? Idiots?" Mike laughed and Edward rolled his eyes.

"I'm cuffin' him," Em said, ignoring the idiot's remark, but Mike stopped him. "I don't think so, Em, all we need is for you to…accidentally, cuff those dainty little wrists of his too loose, and then we could very well have a critical situation on our hands."

Emmett and Edward made eye contact, but Edward just looked annoyed, shrugged and then turned around, putting his hands behind his back while Mike walked over to him, pulling his cuffs off of his belt.

I was biting my lip so hard I thought it was gonna bleed. I mean, I wanted to run down there and punch Mike right in the…

I laughed, because that was precisely what Cullen had told me NOT to do, once he was gone.

Seth looked over at me, wondering what was so funny, and I told him, "I really wanna punch that guy in the nuts, right now."

He nodded in quiet understanding and then proceeded to cup his hand over his own balls, turning away from me a little bit and I had to stifle the laughter.

When we heard Mike again, down below us, telling Edward to "spread 'em", we both jerked our heads to watch helplessly, as Mike took Edward by the back of his neck and slammed his face against the hood of the police cruiser and I had to look away for a moment.

"One cell phone," Mike called out, and Seth said "Well crap, how'm I supposed to get a hold of him now?"

I assured him Edward wouldn't need it when I heard Mike again. "Where's your gun, Cullen?" he asked Edward, who just answered by telling him, "I don't know, Newton, maybe it's up your ass."

God, he was so stupid sometimes.

I went back to watching the scene below us as Mike cuffed Edward. It was painful to witness because I could tell, even from where I was standing, that he'd tightened them to the point of cutting off Edward's circulation, but Edward didn't flinch. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing the pain he was in.

I was the only one that could see him close his eyes tightly, then clench his jaw to keep from swearing.

I shook my head at him and his stupid stubbornness, but wasn't expecting what came next as Mike turned him around and punched him hard in the gut, and I gasped loudly, throwing my hand over my mouth immediately.

I thought for sure someone had heard me, but it didn't seem like it as Edward heaved forward, grunting while Mike stood smirking over him and luckily, that's when Emmett hurried over and pushed Mike away, telling him, "that's enough, Newton."

"Fucking pussy." Edward spat at Mike as Emmett led him to his cruiser and opened the back door.

"Yeah, who's the pussy now, Cullen, who's going to JAIL?" Mike goaded him.

"Tell ya what, Newton," Edward started as he sat down into the seat, "ask me that again when I'm out of these goddamn cuffs."

Then Emmett closed the door and told Mike, "I'll lead," as he opened his driver's door and slid in behind the wheel and left.

I watched Mike watch Emmett leave, then he nodded to his partner and I was about to stand up and start moving to get to my place and retrieve the file on Jessica, when I heard him call something into his walkie talkie. I crouched back down to see what he was up to.

"Forty-Nine."

He waited only a few seconds before someone said something back, but it was mostly static and I didn't get to hear it too well.

Mike spoke back again. "Yeah, he just left with him."

More static.

"I'll be there within probably a half hour, forty-five, tops."

_Stupid static! _I wondered who the hell he was talking to and why it was important he let this person know they'd just left.

"No problem."

The communication ended and he got into his cruiser and left, and I guess if I was being completely honest, I felt a bit of a relief, knowing he was following Cullen and Emmett, and not…

I huffed at the realization that this was probably part of their plan, to get him to follow THEM, instead of ME.

_Smarty_. I thought to no one but Cullen.

"Seth," I said as we both stood up finally. "You're going to stay with Dr. Cullen until this is over."

"What?" he whined, "Why am I getting' taken outta the game all the time, he doesn't think I can handle it, does he?" he kicked the wall and then batted at the air.

I tried to assure him, "Seth, it's for your own safety, I promise. Just, trust me, stay with the Cullens, and I'll keep in contact with you about everything, okay?"

He thought about it for a minute. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Ugh, not really that last part, but I still promised.

He agreed finally and I got him into the truck and over to the Cullens. On the way, my cell rang and I immediately answered it, knowing it didn't matter where "I" was anymore, and recognizing the phone number as Jakes.

_FINALLY._

"Jake! I…"

There was all kinds of interference on his end. The only thing I really caught was, "Bell…heading to…Clearwaters…looks like…"

"JAKE, I can't hear you!"

"I can't…gonna…later…" he was cutting in and out more often than Cullen said 'fuck'. Or, some variation of it anyway.

"I can't…" Shit, "Jake!" I actually shook the phone thinking it would help, I don't know why people do that, it's not an etch a sketch.

"That guy…not too…be careful…"

The call went dead and I cursed but tried to piece together what he'd said, something about the Clearwaters, so maybe he was off to visit them…and something about "that guy"…I wondered if he was referring to James, but there was just no way to tell. I mean, he could've been talking about Cullen for all I knew.

When we pulled up to the Cullens, I texted Jake, saying "Didn't hear much of your call, text me info, love Bells".

After I talked to the Cullens and explained what was going on, _vaguely_, they happily agreed to watch over Seth until they heard from me, and even though he was a little nervous, he seemed to be okay with staying there, since he did know Dr. Cullen a little bit, and Esme fed him, so he was lookin' pretty happy when I left.

I headed to my apartment, and kept a close eye out for any tails, even though I knew Mike was following Emmett.

I wondered for a minute or two why I hadn't heard from Emmett yet, but then thought well, maybe it was just taking longer than they'd expected. I knew he'd call as soon as he had news to give me.

I parked in the back of my apartment complex, being sure to avoid the parking lot lights, and even entered through the back doors that the staff usually entered through.

As I took the stairs up to my floor, I called Alice. She was already up to speed and I told her everything was good to go on my end, that I'd meet her at Jaspers as soon as I left my apretment.

Listening for footsteps following me, I quietly finished making my way up the stairs and then I entered my hallway, checking for any oddities before heading to my door.

In the apartment, the lights were off, so I took the opportunity to check the rooms first, gun readied of course, before turning the living room light on and checking through the boxes I had there for Cullen's file on his friend Jess.

I worked quickly, putting my gun into the back of my jeans and while I was looking through my boxes, I played my messages.

The first was my dad, and I listened to him rant about missing me, wanting to know just exactly what 'tom follery' it was that I had Jake working on at home.

I laughed as I shook my head at his adorable, constant worrying and then felt a wave of relief when I heard the next message, which was from Jake, and it was from just a short while before, probably after our cell phone non-conversation.

"Bella, it's Jake, I just tried to call you on your cell…"

I found the file I was looking for and put it into my back pack, then went to grab a few changes of clothes and some toiletries before heading out. No offense to the Jazzman, but I was pretty sure he wasn't going to have the things I needed and liked at his place.

"I got your sample, that was quick, I'm headin' over to the Clearwaters to ask them with a few questions about their kid, and then I should get the results back on the DNA by like, tomorrow Don said."

I smiled, if Seth turned out to be the Clearwaters, that was gonna be so freaking awesome to get to tell him he has a family.

"Oh, yeah, and that guy you asked about, James? Yeah, I don't know Bells, I don't exactly like the guy that much, but…"

Beeeeeeeep.

_Fucking answering machines._

The next message was Jake again. I laughed out loud at about the same time as when I noticed a box that wasn't mine, in the middle of the living room and furrowed my brow as I walked over to it.

"Hey, it's me again, anyway, I guess I never told you, that job I didn't take over there in DC, I just got a really bad vibe from the dude that was interviewing me…"

I was kinda half listening, as I walked up to the box, and saw the contents.

I pulled them out one by one, feeling a little lightheaded as I did.

_This is not good._

The first item was a scarf, it was silk, and had Chinese patterns on it, like from those old movies.

"…then when James took it, I…I don't know, it just…was weird, ya know, and I haven't even really spoken to him in a while, so…"

The next item was a trench coat and I scowled, thinking, what the hell was this box doing in my apartment?

"Anyway, just be careful, I'd avoid…but you know, do what you think is best."

There was a pair of very large, very dark sun glasses next, and they were sitting on top of…

"Kay, love ya!"

Beeeeeeeeeep.

_A blonde wig._

"Hello, Bella." A voice suddenly came from behind me, and I whipped around to see a vaguely familiar man standing at my doorway, smiling at me.

My blood felt like it had been drained entirely from my body as a very icy chill ran up my spine and I realized who he was.

"Long time no see," he said, half smiling, half, checking me out. He nodded behind him, at the door, and told me, "You know, you uh, really should get better locks for your door."

He was smug...and apparently also knew how to pick locks.

I swallowed as my whole body went rigid, but forced my mind to start working again and ran through the options I'd had at that point.

I instantly reached around behind me to grab my Heckler and Koch, but he pulled his first and held it straight at my head.

"I wouldn't if I were you, Bella, I'm not Newton. And I'm not in the mood for games." He said it smoothly, not like he was angry or anything, more like it was just a friendly warning, but the look in his eyes told me a different story.

I stopped my motions, and held my hands up.

He threw me a pair of hand cuffs and said, "put 'em on, tight. I won't be happy if you fuck with me, either."

I did as he asked and thought to myself, hell, I didn't need my hands anyway, if he got close enough, I'd just…

"And don't even think about kneeing me in the balls, little one," he told me, breaking me from my thoughts as though he was reading them and I got the willies again from the sound of his calm demeanor. "I'll break your leg faster than you'd be able to get anywhere near the jewels."

_Okay. Scratch that idea._

"Maybe if you're nice though…" he said as he lead me out of my apartment, his voice dripping with innuendo while he pulled the gun out of my jeans and tossed it into the box that held the disguise I'd found, "…you can say hi to them in a much more _entertaining_ way, later on."

I smiled coyly at him over my shoulder as I entered the hallway and said with as much sincerity as I could muster, "Fuck you, James."

**PART 2. THE CULLEN BROTHERS**

I could tell Em felt bad as we were pulling away from the seedy homeless area he'd just picked me up from.

"Sorry about that, bro, I had no idea he'd be that fucking dickish with that _shit_." He was pissed, and rightly so, but I'd expected as much from fucking Newton, he wasn't the type to play fair, hence his ugly ass, fat-neck deep involvement in the illegal dealings of the goddamn Volturi organization.

I was still catching my breath from the second fucking sucker punch that the complete ass-hat had bestowed upon me, but didn't want Em to be all guilt ridden and shit about it. "S'all good, Em, he hits like a goddamn girl anwyay…" I told him, then added blandly, "…and it won't be long before he gets his." I was staring out of the backseat window when I said the last part to myself, "…and good."

A small bag sat on the seat next to me, and I adjusted my body to open it up with my fingers that were slowly losing any feeling in them since Newton had cuffed me.

"This from Jazz?"

"Yep."

_God I love that guy._

I pulled out the one thing I needed and started working on the cuffs when Em piped up again. "What'd you say he does for a living?"

"I didn't." _And wouldn't._

Silence.

We met eyes in his rear view mirror and I told him, "Don't start with the stare down shit, Em, you don't wanna know…trust me."

"Fair enough," he said, and then shrugged at me as I unlocked the cuffs and started rubbing my wrists.

"Fucking. _Dickh_ole."

The cuts that had dug into my skin weren't deep enough to bleed, but they were deep enough to hurt like a motherfucker and it was just one more reason for me to end that goddamn nut sucker.

I looked through the bag at some of the shit Jazz had sent and made another mental praise of his completely fuck-awesome imagination.

Emmett was chuckling to himself as he drove and I just couldn't help but fucking smile at his ass. "Spill, Em…ya look like a goddamn virgin with a vibrator up there." I was starting to let out some snorts of my own and I didn't even know what the fuck was so funny yet.

"I just…" he laughed. "I can't even imagine Newton's face, when…"

Okay, _now_ I was full out laughing, realizing just how fucking in-goddamn-sane we both were. "I know, dude…" I started, not able to control my shoulder bobbing. I was hoping it wasn't visible to Newton, who was behind us. "It's definitely gonna be fucking classic."

I pulled out the small device that Jasper had sent me, via Emmett, and whistled. "Goddamn genius, I tell ya."

"How exactly did he…" Em started, but then stopped himself as he saw me work with it and decided to go with, "never mind."

I smiled as I pulled my shirt open and taped it to me right where it would never be noticed, then told Em I was all set.

We both gained our composure finally, but I could still see the smirk on his face in the mirror as he tried not to look at me.

After a few more minutes of avoiding eye contact with each other, the car swerved and Em yelled out, "Shit!"

I put my hands on either side of the backseat to keep my balance and not fall the fuck over from the jolt the car had taken.

"What the FUCK!" he yelled, looking over to the side of us. When I looked over too, I saw Newton and his partner, laughing, and asked nobody really, "What the hell is he…?"

We swerved again and this time we hit the curb.

Em gained control of his driving quickly but took an unexpected turn down a side street to try and avoid another collision with the clearly delusional, Mike Newton. "Goddamn lunatic!"

"Em, where are you going, man?" I asked him.

"Anywhere but where that stupid fuck is," he answered, but when I looked back, Newton had followed us, and sped up to bump us.

"Fuckin' A!" Em yelled out and then called into his walkie, "Thirty-seven calling in, forty-nine has lost his damn mind, over."

Nothing came back and he tried again. "Ange…thirty-seven calling in, do you read me?"

Nothing again.

"Fuck!" he screamed in frustration.

In case you're wondering, that's usually not a good sign, when they don't answer you.

This would usually be that part in the movie where, as an observer, you're going "oh, maybe all those conspiracy theories that the nut job talked about WERE right, after all."

Yeah, that nut job? Would be ME.

Newton bumped us harder this time, and when I turned frontwards again, I actually had to cover my eyes because Em was getting ready to ram us straight into traffic that was crossing the street in front of us.

"Em!"

"Shit! Fuck!" he screamed about every goddamn obscenity as he jerked the wheel and careened us into the middle of the cars, and for a minute, I seriously thought we were gonna bite it.

It looked like we'd made it into or out of, depending how you look at things, that situation alive, and we tried to re-group.

"Okay, shit, I'm gonna try heading onto the Parkway, even Newton's not so big of a brainless fuck that he'd try somethin' on that road."

"Works for me," I answered, watching behind us.

As we got onto the exit ramp that would take us onto the BW, though, there was another cruiser blocking the road.

"Hold on, bro."

"Em, just take another fucking route, man."

"No way, they'll just box us in."

_Fuck. Talk about goddamn hard headed!_

I held the fuck on, I mean, shit, I'm not an idiot.

The crash was bad, I mean fuck, I'd been in crashes before, and this shit was harsh. I know he was hoping for them to move, we'd played chicken before, we were both good at it, but holy shit, it was like they were expecting him to do that shit and jumped out of the cruiser just before we'd hit them.

Em's cruiser swerved into an embankment, and he banged his head on the steering wheel hard and seemed a little too dazed and conf-fucking-fused to even know who he was, much less _where_ he was when he lifted his head back up from that shit, if ya ask me.

"Are you oh…" I kicked at the doors, but they didn't budge, "kay?"

"What?" he asked, looking like he'd just taken a hit off of the biggest goddamn doobie since one of Cheech and fucking Chong's creations.

That cage shit they have between the front and back seats of those fuckers, by the way? I officially fucking think they're made of goddamn titanium steel because I'm pretty sure I twisted a goddamn ankle trying to fuck that shit up.

Em's head fell forwards and I needed his ass coherent.

"_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck_…Em!" I yelled out, trying to wake his ass up, and he kinda shook his head a little, his eyes squinting at me through the rear view mirror as his door was pulled open and a gun was pointed at his head.

"Outta the car, Em."

It was fucking Newton.

_Holy mother! Shit fucker!_

"Newton?" Em started, all weebly wobbly. "You can't…"

"Fuck you, Em, get. Out. Of. The. Car. Before I _shoot_ you."

He wasn't fuckin' around. "Em, just do it man, it's okay."

He was finally getting his bearings by then though, and told me, "Fuck you, Edward, I'm not lettin' this jack fuck take you in."

"You don't have a choice, Em," Newton told him as his partner stepped up beside him, pointing another gun at Em, and then I saw two _more_ officers approach the cruiser, the ones that had jumped out of their cruiser when we crashed in to it, with _their_ fucking guns pointed at Em, too.

"I fucking _told_ you the FUCKING precinct was full of bad _fucking_ cops." I seethed, getting more and more disgusted at the situation. I don't think I could have said "fuck" enough times right then.

"Yeah, 'I told you so's can wait 'till later, _Eddy_," Emmett said through the side of his mouth and lifted his hands in surrender as he got out of the cruiser.

I watched him, a little fucking worried to be honest with ya, because I knew Emmett too goddamn well to think he'd just, go along peacefully and shit…and sure enough, just like I figured, he made his move when he'd gotten all the way out, and was close enough to Newton to make it.

"Em!" I yelled, but it was too goddamn late, because he'd already thrown the first punch and even though he was able to take a couple of the fuck heads down, and even though it was a hard motherfucking task to take Emmett goddamn Cullen out, they managed to not only wack his ass over the head with blunt objects, but they tazered him too, twice, and he was flat out cold within a few minutes.

It was goddamn hard to just sit there and watch that shit go down, ladies and gentlemen, but as hard as I fucking tried, I couldn't free myself from the back seat of that fucking cruiser.

It just figured that the _one_ thing the DC Metro PD did right, was to make sure their suspects couldn't get out of the fucking back seats of those things.

Which isn't exactly a bad thing when you're not IN the back seat of one, but when you're pretending to be one, and then you suddenly find yourself in a situation where you need to get out, really goddamn fast? Not such a good thing.

Fuck, you know what I mean.

Once they were satisfied Emmett wasn't getting back up, they called 911 and the two cops that weren't with Newton, waited beside Em for the ambulance to arrive.

"Just make sure he stays unconscious, he won't be talking to anyone anytime soon," Newton instructed the other grunts and they all got a nice laugh at my brother's expense.

_Reason number four as to why you're gonna die, Newton._

I grabbed the bag with Jasper's toys in it and pulled out a couple that were small enough to go un-noticed, feeling a little fucking disappointed that I couldn't hide all of them, and shoved the bag up under Em's front seat, then I put the cuffs back on my wrists and sat back into the seat.

Newton and his partner took their time walking back over to Em's car, and I wanted to knock the smug right off of his fucking face.

Hell, I guess I should've been grateful they hadn't shot and killed him, but I was fucking furious, and just waited for the opportunity to get my goddamn hands on Newton, whether that meant I was gonna die in the process or not.

Un-fucking-fortunately though, I didn't get that opportunity.

_Yet._

Because before they opened the back door for me, one of them leaned in to the front seat, Newton of course, and tazed me, but not before telling me with a fucked up smile on his face, "See ya when ya wake up, Cullen. I'll tell Bella you said hi."

And just like that, before I could say 'you sucked your mama's tit too long as a baby', I was out cold.

Time was passing, that was goddamn obvious, but I didn't know how much time in between my bouts with the unconscious world, I just tried to pay the fuck attention to what was being said and where we were going.

I could still feel the items I'd tucked away deep in my pocket, so I was thankful Newton hadn't searched me again, thinking the cuffs had never come off. He's a fucking idiot, and I loved that about the guy.

I wondered where they'd taken Em, and how he was gonna hold up his end of the bargain as I stared out of the window, watching the sun blink in between the tree branches.

I knew that no matter where they took me, I'd at least find it familiar, and would probably be able to get myself outta there when I needed to. The million dollar motherfucking question was, though, would anyone be able to find ME before something tragic happened.

I digress though, I try really goddamn hard not to think about my own demises too much, it's just fucking depressing, and it distracts me from kicking ass.

"Are you sure you got the package?" someone was asking, it sounded like maybe they were talking into a radio.

"I don't fucking think so ass-wipe…no, damn it, I called dibs…we're good to go…I know…" I heard movement, and closed my eyes in case they were checking the back seat to make sure I was still out. "Yep, he's out…didn't know what hit him…" laughter… "yeah right, in your dreams fuck face…okay, out."

Whatever conversation was happening ended, and then Newton said, "This has been a long time comin', and I am gonna have fun taking this asshole down."

His partner laughed but didn't respond other than that and I couldn't help but wonder what the fuck he was talking about with the 'dibs' shit, unless there was some kinda fucking pool going on about who was gonna get to finish me off.

God I could only fucking hope it was Newton, 'cause even tied up and beat to a pulp, I felt fairly fucking certain I could still take his ass down to hell with me.

The car slowed as we reached a gravel road and I heard the squeaking of a gate. I peered out of the windows again to see if I recognized some of our surroundings, all I saw was low buildings and flying rats.

Those are otherwise known as Seagulls in the Maryland area, in case you were fucking wondering, so I knew I was still local at least.

I figured they must have taken me to Arrow Shipping, which seemed a little goddamn obvious if ya ask me, but these idiots were fucking cocky motherfuckers, so I really shouldn't have been very surprised, I guess.

We'd been driving a while, but they probably just did that to make me think we were traveling further than we really had.

Like I'm that stupid.

The only thing left to do was to figure out how to let Em know my location.

If I could get access to one of the dip-wad's cell phones, I figured I could probably text him. Then thought better of it and decided maybe it was safer to text Jasper, there was a distinct possibility that Em would probably be under watch.

I was in the middle of making a plan for that shit when the back door opened and Newton leaned in, sticking a goddamn needle in my neck.

Which again, just so we're clear, I fucking HATE.

"We can't have you all awake and anxious now, Can we Cullen?" he asked, and I tried answering him as best I could before falling asleep from what the fuck ever he'd injected into my system. I felt drunk, and couldn't see straight.

"Fucking…End…You…N…"

Yeah, not exactly intimidating, I know.

That was about all I got out, before I heard him laughing, it sounded like a fucking echo, like I was in a tunnel or somethin'. "Nice try, Cullen," he teased, slapping the side of my face like in those fucking Godfather movies when they're getting ready to off someone.

I just hoped they waited till I was conscious to off me, at least then I'd have a fighting fucking chance.

_Right?_

The next time I woke up, I was in a small room, on a cot, still hand-cuffed, only now, the cuffs were attached to both my hands, and a bed railing.

My shirt was missing, but I still felt the small device I'd attached to me earlier, so I let myself feel a little relieved at least, that they hadn't found that shit on me.

There was one window, and I could tell it was dark out, although, I wasn't exactly sure how long I'd been out, so I didn't know what day it was.

I did, however get the impression I wasn't alone.

I turned over to look around the pitch black room and that's when a small lamp was turned on beside me by a man in a neatly pressed suit, five hundred fucking dollar shoes, and bad goddamn breath.

"You've been quite the pain in the ass, lately, Mr. Cullen," he said, while he loosened his tie and I laughed.

_Like I didn't already know that shit._

My eyes squinted, adjusting to the light while my brain tried really hard to NOT be a big pile of mush, coming out of whatever fucked up haze they'd put me in with that injection they'd given me earlier.

Once I felt certain I could talk without slurring, I asked the man who might very well end my life, "How's it goin', Mayor?"


	25. Today Was a Good Day to Die

**A/N: Chappy song = Hero by Pop Evil

* * *

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**Chapter 24 ~ "Today Was a Good Day to Die"**

**PART 1. THE SWAN**

"Get your HANDS off of me!"

James just laughed while he practically dragged me down the stairs of my building, as to avoid any confrontations with people, I guessed.

He didn't acknowledge that I was talking, much less that I was putting up a fight against his fingers that were digging into my forearm.

At the bottom of the stairs, he waited, and then cocked a single eyebrow at me, daring me to call out to anyone with his gun sticking into the side of my torso. Part of me didn't care, I wanted to scream out anyway, but the other part of me wanted to see just exactly what in the Hell he was planning, and who he was working for, Aro, or the mayor.

When we exited the building, I almost gasped at the car he'd brought and shoved me into the tiny back seat of before sliding into the driver's seat.

The red Ferrari that Cullen had been chasing all those weeks.

"You're the driver?" I asked him, but he didn't bother answering me. He just smiled and shut the door on us, then locked it automatically.

When he started the car up and pulled away from my building, I asked him again. "James, were you the driver this whole time?"

Still no answer, although he did peek up at me through his rear view mirror.

"_James_," I pushed, and then he pulled the car over abruptly, turned around and put his gun up to my forehead so hard that it forced my head up against the back of the seat.

I held my breath while he spoke and his eyes never left mine. I couldn't even tell what color they were at I stared into them, they seemed, black.

"Bella, I wanna make this as clear as possible for you, so there's no misunderstandings in the near future. I'm not Cullen, so I'm not gonna put up with your goddamn chatty shit because I think it's cute, and I'm not Newton, so I won't be swooning over your pushiness because I haven't been laid in over a year, I'm a fucking hired gun, and if you don't shut. The fuck. Up…" He pushed the gun harder against my head and cocked it. "I will shoot you dead in the eyes and not give a damn about the consequences. Do we understand each other?"

I nodded slightly, I think, and then he pulled the gun away and turned around to start off again.

My mind was reeling, trying to figure out how someone from Forks, Washington, who'd been friends with Jake, knew the people there, could turn out like this.

I guess bad apples grow in every orchard, huh?

I didn't speak again until we arrived at our destination, which I immediately recognized as Arrow Shipping.

I also came to the conclusion that, since they didn't seem to care whether I saw where we were or not, that they probably weren't planning on keeping me alive.

So when James opened the door to let me out, I thrusted my feet at his face as hard as I could and jumped out, running full speed for who the Hell knows where, but I knew I had to get away from there.

"Fuck! Bitch!" he yelled, trying to right himself and come after me. I was pretty fast, and I was sure if I could just get to a main street, I would find SOMEone, a cab maybe even. The trick would be getting the cabbie to take me somewhere and explaining the hand cuffs.

I heard him chasing me and headed down an alleyway. "I will end you, you fucking BITCH!" he screamed and shot a round off at me just as I rounded the corner to speed down the alley.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…Cullen, where the fuck are you…" I was really just babbling to myself to try and think, but it wasn't working very well.

I looked behind me to see where he was, but he wasn't following anymore, which is never a good sign.

He knew the area better than me, without a doubt, and I really didn't have much to work with, being that my hands were bound.

I slowed down, and tried a few doors but they were locked, then I figured, if I headed back, maybe I could get to the Ferrari before James caught up to me, and get the hell out of there _that_ way. I was pretty sure I could jump start a car.

So that's what I did, I ran back to the car and got into the driver's seat, which is about when I saw him heading toward me, down the alley I'd just come from. There was also another visitor coming out of the warehouse and I let out a frustrated breath, seeing that is was Mike.

"Shit."

I worked on the steering column to try and get the car started but I just wasn't fast enough with the damn hand cuffs on.

James arrived first, pointing his gun at me through the window, and I narrowed my eyes at him, thinking, screw it…_let him shoot me_, it would be quicker that way, but then I heard Mike call out.

"Aro wants to see you, James," he said, watching me the whole time.

James lowered his gun and winked at me, then he walked off to the warehouse and Mike came up to the door, waited for me to unlock it, which I did and he opened it for me, then put his hand out to help me out of the car.

I didn't have anything to say, I just followed where he led me.

"I don't get it, Bella. Cullen's nothing but bad news, I told you that, but you didn't fucking listen."

I eyed him sideways, he was shaking his head at me in sincere disappointment.

My mind started to think maybe there was still a chance to turn this around, he clearly knew I'd been working with Cullen, and yet, he still held hope, I could hear it in his voice.

"I guess I'm a sucker for a bad boy." I teased, and I saw Mike smile a little, then he said, "Cullen's nothin' compared to me, Bella, I can be bad, you have no idea."

_Blech._

"Hmmmm." I hummed, like I was actually considering the possibilities of that comment, but in reality, I just thought it was funny. Cullen was the ultimate bad boy, and the fact that Newton thought he was anywhere near his league, just made me wanna giggle at the poor guy.

We entered the warehouse and James was waiting for us. His meeting with Aro had been short, I guessed, and he told Mike he was told to take me somewhere else within the building.

"I don't think so," Mike advised him, ready to defend his 'territory' like a wild animal.

"Not your call, Newton."

"You're not going anywhere with her, James, she's m…she's my responsibility, I'm seeing this through."

James raised his head slightly and looked up at a window about two stories above us. I wondered if it was Aro standing behind the mirrored reflection of it, watching us.

Or maybe the mayor.

_Maybe both._

I took the opportunity of the quiet moment between them to whisper to Mike, "Don't let him take me, Mike, please? He, scares me, looks at me like I'm something to eat."

Mike put a hand around my back and patted me a little, assuring me James wasn't going anywhere with me.

"Aro has a job for her," James finally said, explaining _why_ he was going to take me away, without really saying much and I thought it ridiculous that they thought I'd even CONSIDER doing ANYTHING for them.

"Well then I'll take her where she needs to go."

James looked at me and I didn't move, didn't speak, I would have been surprised if I was even breathing at that point. He seemed like the kind of guy who'd do exactly what he wanted, when he wanted, how…he wanted.

I wasn't lying to Mike when I said James scared me.

"Fine," he said without facial expression, "B-2." I guessed that was the place Mike was supposed to take me now. James didn't say another word when he walked away.

Mike and I both seemed to breathe out the same sigh of relief, and he told me to follow him as he moved quickly through the hubbub of the main area.

There didn't seem to be a whole lot of workers present, and people glanced at me in passing, but mostly pretended there WASN'T a woman being led through their place of business with handcuffs on, which made me wonder just exactly how often had something like this happened before?

Not a good feeling, I gotta say.

Once Mike got me into the room, I was glad we were alone, because I knew that since he had his uniform on, that meant he had cuff keys, probably some pepper spray, and keys to his cruiser on him.

_Very resourceful tools._

"You know, Mike…" I purred, putting my body between him and the closet he was starting to open.

He looked down at me with a cocked eyebrow.

I bit my lip a little and glanced down, shyly, then back up at him. "This might be bad timing, but, you never did get to kiss me goodnight that one time."

The scowl he gave me said it all, I'd confused him, which was my intention.

"I thought you and Cullen…"

"Like you said, Mike, he doesn't have anything on you."

_Lies, lies, lies, Cullen, they're all lies._

He swallowed, then smiled, and his hands moved around my waist, pulling me against him and I could already feel his erection pushing up against my stomach.

To say 'ewe' would be an understatement, but I wasn't really concerned with myself. It was him that would be bent over in pain in just a few seconds.

When he put his lips to mine, I closed my eyes and pretended they were Edward's lips, even though Mike's didn't feel quite as soft, or passionate, or warm, like Edward's.

No, Mike's were rough and chapped, and there was a feeling of desperation behind them that made me feel like I was about to be torn to shreds.

That's when I did it.

Just as his slimy tongue slid passed my lips, I pulled my leg back, took in a nice long, deep breath and then threw the full force of my knee into his dick.

I gave him all the anger that I'd felt from all the times he'd spoken ill of Cullen, or made some remark about me being a virgin, or him thinking he could wiggle his way into my apartment as he gasped for air and bent forward in pain.

That was one pure and magnificent moment of satisfaction right there.

His ear was right next to my mouth when I whispered to him, "That's for being a fucking idiot."

He was still working to suck air in when I pulled his keys off of his belt and then padded him down for the pepper spray, which I found and promptly sprayed into his eyes, adding to his debacle of affliction.

He screamed out hysterically and shouted, "Fuck! Bella!" as I worked to get the cuffs off of me and then searched for what I thought would be his car keys.

Mike started feeling around for me as he tried to push through the pain in his eyes and I opened the door leading out to the main area again, to make a run for it.

And ran smack into James.

_God, why doesn't he please just kill me. _

Mike was still screaming, his eyes were red and he was rubbing them when James said, "Here, this'll help wash that shit out," putting a glass of water into his hand while he simultaneously held me against the wall by my collar.

James turned and looked at me then. "You are getting on my last nerve, I'm starting to think this shit isn't worth it, regardless of what Aro thinks."

I clenched my teeth, but didn't talk, I had no idea what he'd do if I'd said anything at that point, but I wasn't willing to find out.

Mike washed his eyes out and although he was still clearly in pain, he was managing it better. He swung the door to the closet he'd been at earlier, grumbling something that included my name and a few choice words that I wasn't going to repeat, then pulled some things out and threw them down onto the couch next to him.

"Now," James started, pulling me by the neck over to the couch next to the items I recognized from the box I'd found in my apartment, "You're going to play a part in your dear friend, Mr. Cullen's demise, little girl."

"I don't think so," I answered him, realizing where all of this was going all of a sudden.

"OH, but you are, and you're going to be convincing, too, you see, we have a plan for Cullen, and you're a very intricate, important part of that plan."

I eyed the trench coat, thinking of the possibilities that they could be planning for Edward.

"I won't lie to him," I told the both of them defiantly. I'd had it with their shit, and there was just no way they were gonna bully me anymore. "You can do whatever you want to me, kill me for all I care, I'm not gonna hurt him like that, so _screw_. _You_."

I was scared shitless, I'm not gonna lie, but I spoke the truth. They could torture me, hell, rape me, kill me, I didn't care, it would be worth it in the end not to torment Cullen like that.

They exchanged a look. James smiled knowingly and I had to wonder, what they knew that I clearly didn't.

I waited as they spoke quietly, and then Mike left, leaving me alone with James, who still held the blonde wig in his hand for me to wear.

"You'll put it on, Bella," he said, menacingly, and my blood ran cold.

"Eat. Shit."

He smiled. "You see, it's not you we're gonna hurt if you don't do this for Aro."

_Oh no._

The look on my face must have told him all he needed to know and he smiled a creepy little smile at me as he walked over to pick up the trench coat from the floor.

I just didn't know who they had. Seth? Alice?

_Oh my god I'm gonna be sick._

I didn't speak again, I was afraid of digging myself deeper into the shit hole I was already in at the time being.

"When you talk to Cullen, I'll be waiting very close by, keeping an eye and an ear on the two of you," he began, not even looking half worried about whether I was gonna try to run again. "…I'll have an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle pointed right at his pretty little head, with a pretty little red beam of light, guiding my way…"

Even though part of me was relieved that it wasn't another one of our friends that would suffer for my ignorance, a part of me was dying even as James said those last words.

"And If you don't do this…I'm gonna put a pretty little self imploding bullet right into Cullen's brain. _Then _I'll kill you…or, hell, perhaps take you up on that other offer you made just now. What was it you said?"

He pulled me closer to him and nuzzled his nose up against my neck and it made me want to vomit.

"_Screw_ me?" he rasped with insinuations I didn't want to entertain. At all.

I wished I'd worn my hair up that day.

That I'd had a pin, just one fucking pin that I could pull out and pick the fucking hand cuffs and punch him right in his stupid face for saying that, but as I glanced around the room I was in, and out into the main area of the building, I could see a lot more guards, or, whatever they were, milling about.

I wouldn't have had a chance.

I wondered where they were keeping Cullen, and why world war three wasn't breaking out because there's no _way_ they had taken him easily.

And what the fuck had happened to Emmett? Excuse my language.

James pulled me out of my thoughts again when he asked, "Now, are you gonna put these on yourself? Or would you like me to do it for you? Not that I'd mind."

What was I gonna do? I mean, I guess when I looked at it from a logical perspective, it was better for Cullen to live, or, have a chance at living, and think I'd betrayed him, than for him to be taken out of this world. I couldn't imagine a world without him in it.

There was a few moments of silence between us before I finally held my hands out to him, to take the clothes and wig, and said, "I'll do it."

**PART 2. CULLEN**

I was dreaming about a comfortable goddamn bed, a hot body, the Swan's of course, on top of me, moving in sync with mine, swallowing me whole, making me want her even more…and a fucking dog lying at the bedroom door, whining for attention.

Until I choked my ass off on ice cold motherfucking water, that is.

I gagged and spit and felt like my chest was gonna cave in from the bone chilling temperatures of the room I was in, on top of the freezing cold water that I was attempting to eject from my lungs.

Not cool, my friends. Not fucking cool at all.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen," they mayor greeted me, like we were getting ready to have a proper goddamn brunch together or something.

Newton stood there with the bucket he'd just emptied onto my face in his hands, smiling that smug ass fucking smile of his and I made to get up and wipe it clean off of his fucking head, when I realized I was still cuffed like a goddamn dog to the bed I was in.

Since his first visit, the mayor had been sure to get his miscellaneous lackeys to keep me in a constant state of confusion through a torturous vicious circle that revolved around being wide awake, sleeping for short periods of time by way of drug filled needles diving into my fucking arms, and my personal favorite, the Chinese cold ass water fucking torture of the worst goddamn kind.

My head knew what he was doing, he wanted me to be incoherent for whatever reason, but I couldn't quite keep my wits about me most of the time, long enough to figure out why. Just when I thought I was snapping out of shit, getting my act together, that was when he'd hit me with the next round of lame ass horse shit fuckery.

I mean Jesus H. Christ, if they were planning on killing me, hell if I knew why they'd want me all out of my goddman mind and shit, you'd think they'd want me alert as a motherfucker for that .

Right?

"Get him up."

I tried to kick and move back against the wall that the bed was pushed up against, but there wasn't really anything I could do about Newton un-cuffing me and pulling my limp body into the other room for another round of 'Edward Cullen, this is the end of your life'.

I tried swinging at him, but my arms didn't seem to want do what I wanted them to do and I had no fucking idea how long I'd been there, or been in and out of consciousness for that matter between the sleeping and the waking and the questioning and shit, I was lucky to know my fucking name.

_Shit._

My name is still Edward Cullen, right?

"I see you've saved my reserved motherfucking seating, Newton…good job, now, if you'll un-cuff me, I'll get your tip outta my back pocket," I said to him with a wink, as he jerked me forward, leading me into the room with absolutely zero goddamn personality.

He didn't take the cuffs off, and part of my brain actually wondered why that tactic hadn't worked.

"Damn, and I thought my apartment was lame," I noted, looking around at the cracked paint and leaky windows.

I laughed like a kid as Newton sat me down and un-cuffed one of my wrists, only to re-cuff me to the chair, then he moved away, out of arms reach.

_Smart ass-hat._

I actually had to admit, even to myself, that they were being smart motherfuckers about this shit, whatever it was. Keeping my in a constant state of shit fuckery in the head was a smooth move on their part.

"I'm looking forward to ending your life, Cullen," Newton noted while we were still alone.

I huffed at him, amused. "And I am looking forward to ending you for thinking you're gonna end my life, Newton."

That made sense, right?

He crossed his arms, shook his head and rolled his eyes, waiting for the mayor to join us.

I smacked my lips, realizing all of a fucking sudden that my mouth was REALLY dry. "I'm thirsty, got anything to drink around here?"

He ignored me and I just rolled my eyes. Why was I wasting my time talking to him, anyway?

"Demetri!" I called out, looking around for my favorite bartender.

Wait, where was I? A minute ago I coulda sworn I was at the Ram's Head.

That was weird.

When the mayor walked in, things started coming back to me again.

_Riiiiight…Close to death, check…the guy who's gonna order said death has you…check._

It was pretty goddamn ironic to me, how in the last four or five years, when I could have given a shit if I'd lived or died, I'd always come out on top of shit, and yet, now that I'd found Bella, loved her, fuck…_told_ her I'd loved her, that the previously completely miserable life I'd led, would be coming to an end soon.

I closed my eyes and smiled, picturing Swan telling me she told me so, with her sexy little hand, on her sexy little hip, and her sexy eyebrows furrowed, scowling her sexy little ass off at me.

"Hang in there," I whispered, not really knowing if I was talking to her, or myself.

Newton kicked my chair and I nearly growled at him for being such a rude goddamn motherfucker.

"Shut the fuck up, Cullen!"

God, the guy had no patience.

I pulled my head back up and opened my eyes, looking up at the ceiling, attempting to pull myself out of the stupor I was in.

"So, what's the _machination_?" I asked, and when no one answered, I rolled my head to the side, asking the mayor directly this time, "you know, a crafty scheme; a cunning design or plot intended to accomplish some usually evil end?"

Still nothin'.

"…so I can prepare my defensive tactics."

He frowned at me for a second, until he caught on, and then he laughed and I couldn't help but to join in.

I think it was the drugs.

"You're a funny guy, Cullen."

Hell, Newton even chuckled a little bit.

It was a regular goddamn party, people.

"So," I started, stifling more laughter, "does this mean you're gonna turn yourself in quietly, then?"

They didn't think that one was so funny. I'm never quite clear on where that line is that I cross all the fucking time.

_Oh well._

"You know, had you just left your little investigation alone years ago, no one would have cared about you, Mr. Cullen. You could've lived your sad but quaint Private Investigative life all by yourself, and we could've gone about our business and not paid you one iota of a shit."

He had a point, I had to give it to him. But leavin' shit alone, that's just not my fucking style.

"Yeah," I said, scowling at the thought, "I guess I do know how to fuck a party up, huh?"

He crossed his arms, and put a hand to his chin, thinking, so I decided to add another two or three cents in to the conversation.

"Come on, Mayor," I teased him, "what's it gonna hurt to tell me how you concocted all of this…I mean," I shook the cuffs a little for emphasis, "it's not like I'm goin' anywhere."

He exchanged a look with Newton, who then left, and the mayor then stared out of the window. I didn't really think that bullshit was gonna work anyway, but then he surprised me by chattin' it up after all.

Go figure.

"It was quite a coincidence that you knew Lauren, Mr. Cullen."

Her name woke my senses up, and my stomach churned, waiting to hear what I'd pieced together a while ago, but hadn't heard it from the horse's mouth yet.

"So, you _did_ kill her." I stated it, it was fucking obvious after all.

He laughed. "Oh, Mr. Cullen, you don't think I'm that stupid, do you?"

Right, he wouldn't have done it himself. "Newton, then?"

He smiled, and I swear, it was the same smile Carlisle used to give me when I'd figure out a particularly hard math equation during my old school days.

I wanted to be sick, thinking again about the shit Newton had done to Lauren, and the mayor saw it in my eyes and his fell a little.

"He was a little over zealous, I admit."

_A little?_

"That's the fucking understatement of the century, Mayor, don't ya think?" I asked him.

"Michael likes to, be _creative_, Mr. Cullen…Lauren saw a little too much, spoke a little too much, and well, I believe she insulted his intelligence, which made him a little bit…angry in the end."

I shook with disgust at the way he just, fucking blew that shit off like it was just another day on the island of 'I just lost my damn mind'.

I was now starting to come into full cohesiveness with my brain again, and wanted to get as much out of him as I could before he figured me out, so I threw another one in there. "Why off your wife though? I mean shit, you didn't have to…"

He put a hand up to stop me…shit, he was on a roll. It must have been just eating the fuck away at him all these weeks to keep this shit inside and not brag to me about all the shit he'd done.

Sometimes being a dick came in quite motherfucking handy.

I didn't really give a shit what the reasons were. It was time for that cocky motherfucker to spill his guts, and I was just gonna sit back and let him.

"That was simply…" he searched for the right word. "Convenience, Mr. Cullen, you see, I actually liked Lauren, I was very sad to see her go,"

_SEE her GO? Was he fucking kidding me with this shit?_

Now normally, I would have inserted a highly annoying, extremely sarcastic remark right about there in his speech, but I didn't wanna cut him off, he was doing such a great job of fucking himself over.

"…But when my wife found out about her, it was right about the time that I realized Lauren was snooping a little too often into my office, my briefcase, my…jacket pockets…"

He trailed off, and I hate to admit it, but the son of a bitch actually looked contemplative about that shit.

I remembered the day I took the pictures of them in his secret hide away, and how maybe Lauren had already found the same thing I did when I'd finally developed those pictures. I guess she had asked one too many vague questions.

Everything she'd said and done that last night that I'd seen her outside of my apartment made perfect sense all of a fucking sudden, and I wanted to puke, thinking about how I could've fucking stopped her from leaving that night, maybe gave her a safe place to stay, but fuck no, I was a dick to her.

"Anyway," he waved the thought he was having off, just like a fucking fly. "…two birds, one…well, you get what I'm saying, don't you, Mr. Cullen?"

"Un-fucking-fortunately," I mumbled, not wanting to give the bastard the satisfaction of an actual answer.

He sat there for a while, starting out of a small window in the room, and I was thinking, trying to figure out that plan I'd started earlier in my little expedition, you know, the one where I get out of this shit alive?

He started to make to leave, but I needed to keep him talking for a while, 'till I figured a few things out.

"So who was it anyway?" I asked him, hoping for an answer, and yet, not really.

He hesitated, and looked back at me with a look on his face of genuine curiosity.

"You know, the Ferrari driver, who was it? Was it really Jess?"

I couldn't help it, part of me still wondered, and I had to know that shit.

He didn't give me the satisfaction though. "You don't know yet, Cullen?" he asked, then chuckled to himself and left me alone.

_Fuck._

I was supposed to know?

Why the fuck was I supposed to know that?

_How_ they fuck was I supposed to know that?

Why was I talking to myself?

I bent my body in a way I don't ever wanna fucking try again and slipped my fingers into my back pocket. Thank the fucking gods I still had the lock pick I'd used earlier, or, shit, whenever, to get out of the cuffs and make a move.

I was sleepy, and jittery, and fucking…a whole hodge podge of other fucking physical reactions to the combination of narcotics and shit they'd been pumping me with, so I wasn't exactly fast at getting to the deed, but damn, you'd think I could still handle that shit with my eyes closed.

"Fuck," I grunted out when I dropped the goodamn pick.

I scooched the chair over and bent my body as much as I could to try and reach the fucking thing from the most awkward position. _EVER_. And then the fucking chair tipped over and I found myself face planted into the floor.

The good news was, I could reach the fucking pick finally.

Bad news though, Newton had returned.

Shit, even I could find the humor in _that_ situation.

He bent down next to me with his fucking needle in his hand and I felt the defeat of the moment once again, but asked him anyway, "Think you could help me up, buddy?"

He took the tip off of the needle and squeezed it a little, causing the liquid inside to fly out, then said, "I was supposed to put you out with this," he held it up in front of his face, his eyes squinting at it. "But I think I much prefer putting you out this way." And with that, he knuckle punched my ass and I was out again.

When I woke up, I was dazed and con-fucking-fused, again, and I started to seriously consider just goddamn giving up once and for goddamn all. But shit if I could form a coherent enough thought that would allow me to do just that.

I didn't understand why the FUCK they were keeping me alive at this point, and it was becoming harder and harder to bring myself back to reality every time they put me out.

I supposed eventually, they would just have me put out of my misery, once they were done making me go completely insane with this shit.

I needed to find some desperation deep down inside somewhere, and get the fuck outta there.

The door opened as I was thinking about that fuckery, and sure as shit, it was my good friend, Newton, coming to take me away, once more.

"Ya know," I said to him as he practically had to carry my ass out of there. "If you keep touching me in these highly inappropriate ways, Newton, I might make you buy me dinner here, soon."

He knee'd me in the back and I wondered why the fuck I kept opening my mouth, but it seemed as though I just had no goddamn verbal control over shit anymore.

I vaguely wondered if they were watching me with cameras, because their timing was always very fucking impeccable, showing up right as I would wake up, but I was way too loopy to try and figure that shit out either.

Loopy is not good for Edward motherfuckin' Cullen, I gotta tell ya. Part of me wanted to stick my Colt into Newton's mouth and pull the trigger while the other half wanted to buy him a drink and tell him how fucking fantastic the Swan was.

"What are we doing, where are we going this time?" I slurred.

"You'll see, Cullen," he told me, and I couldn't quite understand what he said, much less why he was saying it, but it sounded like he'd said something about the ghost of Christmas past.

That couldn't be right, Right?

We weren't even out of the room when I heard someone yelling for Newton to get the fuck somewhere, and he threw me back down on the bed, then shut the door and locked it.

I remember thinking, _sweet_, _sleep_, but I didn't get long to do that, or, hell, maybe I did, like I said, time and space meant nothing to me at that point.

The door burst open and I pushed myself up off of the bed, ready to swing as hard as I could manage at fucking Newton, but my hands were caught mid swing and I had to blink a few times to figure out who the big lug was that was holding them in his hands.

"You okay, bro?" he asked, worried I think.

"Em?"

There were rounds being fired out in the main area and I heard shouting and shit, but I was so goddamn confused, I couldn't figure out if I was dreaming, or if they were fucking with me some more, or what.

"Edward…" he said, and it seemed fuzzy, like, far away or some shit like that, not like he was in the same room as me at all.

Fucking Bizarre.

"Em, you're supposed to be in the hospital…what are you…?"

"You didn't really think they'd take me out with three measly tazer shots, did ya, bro?" He laughed and then I threw my head back, laughing as well, slapping him on the arm, "Yeah, you're fucking thick as fuck, I forgot."

"Dude what do they have you on?" he asked me, holding my face now, trying to get me to wake me up from whatever the fuck funk I was in.

"I dunnno, it's…a lotta fucking shit." I said all fucking serious and what not, and then I breathed in and looked him square in the eyes, narrowing mine. "Are you really you? And how the fuck did you find me?"

Em chuckled and then took his key ring off of his belt and unlocked my cuffs. "Eddy, there _ARE_ some good cops on the force ya know. I got connections."

_Definitely Em, no one else would have the balls to call me Eddy._

He put my arm around his shoulder to help me walk right and I asked him, "Who's out there? You bring the whole force?"

Em shook his head and said, "Couldn't, we didn't know what kinda evidence you had yet, if any," he said and I retorted with an amused huff.

"Typical."

Em explained though, and I was happy to hear who'd come with him. "It's Jasper. The guy's got fire power like you would not believe. Which, I'm gonna need to discuss with him…later."

"JazzMAN!" I yelled, pumping a wobbly fist in the air. "He's a _great_ guy."

"Yeeeah, come on dude, you gotta snap out of it."

"Right," I snapped my fingers on both hands, incredibly happy to be able to move each of my hands independent of each other again.

"Ed. Ward. We. Have. To. Go." He sputtered slowly, yet, very loudly and I wiggled my finger in my ear to keep it from ringing.

"M'kay, going…right…" I said, and then got into drugged up stealth mode, following Em out of the room.

Jasper was covering us well, hell I didn't even see him, but I heard his rounds firing off, It seemed like he was every fucking where, and yet, no where…and I could hear people screaming back and forth to each to "find the fucker".

That made me chuckle.

"Come on," Em pulled me behind him and thank god I was coming down off of the high enough to obey his commands, because shit if I knew how I'd have gotten outta there alive if he hadn't shown up.

We were at a back door of some sort, and Em was forcing it open with his gun, when multiple shots hit the wall right fucking next to my goddamn head and I said, "Holy too close for fucking comfort, Batman." I was practically laughing.

Em just shook his head, annoyed as hell and pulled me through the door, then put me into a cruiser that was waiting for us and we left the warehouse behind us.

I slouched down into the passenger's seat, telling Em, "This is way better than the back seat, gotta say."

"Edward, whatever you're on, needs to get out of your system, I need you alert."

"What about Jazzman? You just leavin' him?"

"He said to, said he'd get out, not to worry about him, and I'm more worried about you, quite frankly."

"Were you able to save any of my stuff?" I asked him, and then added, "And have you heard from Bella? Did everything…?"

I trailed off because the look on Em's face did NOT look good as I spoke, and it was freaking me the fuck out to tell you the goddamn truth.

"Em…"

"You're bag's in the back, everything's still there, you're phone, your Colt…"

"Em. Where's Bella?"

He didn't fucking answer me, I guess he didn't know what the fuck to say, so I grabbed my bag outta the back seat, pulled my goddamn cell phone out and called her.

Voicemail.

"Emmett, if you don't fucking say something in about two goddamn seconds…"

"We don't know, Edward."

"What the fuck do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean, she called Alice on her way to her apartment and said everything was fine, then poof."

"Poof. Motherfucking POOF? What the fucking fuck does POOF mean?"

His face morphed and I pretty much knew what poof meant. I mean shit, it wasn't goddamn rocket science.

She'd been taken.

"Mike was following us, though…we planned for that shit," I mumbled, mostly thinking to myself as I stared out of the window on my side of the car and thought.

After a few minutes of trying to figure out who done it, I gave up, I mean shit, it coulda been anyone I guess, but if she'd called and everything was fine…then…

"Did you get anything?" Em asked, and I pulled the device that Jasper had sent to me off of my nipple and handed it to him.

Yes, I had a fucking nipple cam on, don't knock it, people, it' motherfucking genius at work in the Jazz man's head, if ya ask me.

"Enough," I told him, and Em looked excited. "This is…shit, Edward, we can end this shit once and for fucking all with this."

"Yeah, great, except Bella could be dead by the time we _end_ it."

"We'll find her, don't worry."

Just about then my cell phone rang and I opened it without looking. "Bella?" I asked anxiously into the mouth piece.

But it wasn't her. Of fucking course it wasn't her.

"Mr. Cullen, we need to make a trade."

I guess I shoulda seen that one comin'. I put the call on speaker phone.

"Red. Long time no fucking put a bullet in your head."

"Funny, Mr. Cullen. Meet me on the South end of the Mall, Midnight."

I laughed at her. "And why the hell would I do that?"

"Because we have something you want, and you have something we're going to need back."

_How the hell did they have any idea what I had?_

Em and I locked eyes. "What makes you think I have anything…?"

She cut me off. Of course, she's a rude bitch on top of other things. "Mr. Cullen, we're not stupid, we know you were taken just a little too easily, there had to have been a wire on you somewhere, we just weren't able to find it."

I didn't have to admit anything, but whatever it was they had, they clearly thought I wanted it.

It coulda been Bella.

"What do I get exactly in exchange, assuming I have what you think I have?"

"Answers."

She hung up and I cursed, throwing the fucking cell phone back down. Emmett just waited, before telling me, "You can't give 'em the evidence, Edward."

"I didn't say I was plannin' on it, Em."

Of course I was fucking planning on it.

"I know what you're thinking."

"Em, I don't even know what the fuck I'm thinking."

"Just let it go, Edward," he said, but I couldn't fucking let it go. Letting go wasn't in my goddamn list of abilities.

"Let me out."

"No can do, Edward."

"Let me, the fuck, out, Em."

"Edward…"

But he was wasting his breath, and when he slowed at the next light, I jumped out of the cruiser with my bag and ran like hell the other way.

Em got outta the car and yelled after me, but he didn't bother with chase. He knew where I'd be at Midnight, he'd just show there, and try to fuck my shit up, but I had another idea in store for him.

I called Red back and got a generic voice mail, but I left a message for her to meet me at a different local. I knew she'd get it and deal. After all, how could she pass up the opportunity to get the evidence back that I'd gotten on them earlier?

Even though I didn't fucking have it, but I wouldn't need it, I was either gonna get some goddamn answers and get out, or die trying. Either way, I was settled.

By the time Midnight rolled around, I was waiting and ready at the North end of the Mall as the red Ferrari pulled up to a spot and parked about twenty-five, maybe fifty feet away from me.

I'd figured the car would be part of what was coming, along with who the hell had been driving it all this time. I also figured, whoever the driver turned out to be, could tell me where the fuck Bella was, and then I could go get her ass out of whatever shit she was in.

As I walked up to the car and started to see who was seated in it though, half of me cringed, as I only vaguely recognized the person sitting there.

I hadn't been sure that I was ready to get this particular answer to my theories, but it was time.

Her head was down, but my gut was talking pretty goddamn loudly, and I could barely get the words to form, as I realized who she was. I pulled my Colt out, feeling a surge of both anger and relief, which was, fucking confusing to say the least and as I neared her, I noticed no one around, although I figured they were there, somewhere.

My heart hurt, and I felt like there was something that needed to be said, but nothing was coming to me.

She wouldn't look at me, and I was pretty fucking sure she was crying, although I had no idea if the tears were because she finally had to face me, or because she knew what the consequences would be when I finally found her out.

All I could do was stand there, waiting, until finally, I spoke her name, waiting for her to look at me once and for fucking all and even as I said it, everything just felt..._wrong_.

"Jess?"

* * *

**Much thanks to NEVERTHINK for pointing me toward the light with www . thefuckingwordoftheday . com. Without it, I never would have found the word "Machination".**

**PIMPING JENN1987 – "Spy Games": if you liked The Office, you will LURRRVE Spy Games, Jenn takes people on a roller coaster ride of espionage, love, sex and an Edward Cullen you will never forget…she stays right on track with her plot which I lurve.**


	26. With a Little Help From my Friends

**A/N: Chappy song = I believe in All by Oasis

* * *

Chapter 25 ~ "I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends"**

**PART 1. CULLEN ~ As in, Emmett Cullen**

"God…_DAMN_ it!" I shouted, banging my hand down onto the top of the cruiser when Edward took off running.

My brother is not the smartest guy around town. He likes to think he is, but he's not.

That's why, when he jumped outta the car to go be a fucking renegade, although I was pissed, I wasn't exactly surprised.

Nope, I saw that shit coming about a hundred miles away, and I'd prepared for it.

When I'd hooked up with Edward's friend, Jasper, earlier, I had him rig Edward's phone with this high tech tracking device he'd shown me that I just couldn't pass up.

Edward's always been that guy. You know, the one that thinks he has to do everything by himself. Thinks no one is as smart as he is, and even if they were, he'd still shut them out because he doesn't trust anyone enough to not fuck up all of his high and mighty intricate plans.

I knew, as soon as I'd heard that Bells had gone missing, that he'd be going after her no matter the cost when he found out.

He was gonna run into this situation like a chicken with his head cut off and who knows what else, but he wasn't going into it alone.

Not this time.

I'm his brother for crying out loud, what'd he expect?

I looked at my watch, I still had a while before Midnight rolled around, and I'd just have to wait and see where Edward decided to move the meeting place to, anything I tried to do before then would be fruitless.

Therefore, the first thing I did was go to meet up with Muldoon, who'd been waiting to hear from me since I'd left to go get Edward outta that damn warehouse, and make sure the recording Edward had gotten on the mayor and Aro was good.

After that, I planned on hooking back up with Jasper to go over some plans for later on of our own.

Provided he'd made it out of that warehouse alive that is.

I was pretty sure the guy was resourceful enough to handle it.

It was just a gut feeling.

The coverage we got off of Edward's tape was absolutely _golden_, so Muldoon said he was gonna handle getting all the necessary paperwork to get the arrest warrants and meet me wherever it was I told him shit was gonna go down later.

Until then, we decided, business as usual.

"I got an odd call this afternoon from a, CHIEF, Charlie Swan…know him?" he asked me after our quick run through on how things were gonna play out.

"Swan, like in Bella's dad?"

He shrugged. "_Whatever_, Cullen, the man proceeded to tell me he knew you, said he met you at some shingdig through Edward."

I started to say something but didn't get it out before Muldoon continued his rant. "Then had the goddamn nerve to ask if I'd heard from his daughter, he was apparently trying to get a hold of her and she hasn't returned his phone calls." He said is quite sarcastically, and then paused, not looking happy at all, and I could only imagine how that conversation had gone down, because Muldoon has like _zero_ patience on his _best_ days.

"I told him I'm _not _a goddamn babysitting service, to which he replied that he was sending his best man over here to find her if I couldn't do my own goddamn job."

I laughed, but quickly threw my hand over my mouth because Muldoon doesn't have a very good sense of humor about stuff. He eyeballed me, but continued.

"When this, MAN of his gets here, I want you to send him directly back to this, _wherever_ Washington, that he's from and tell him to tell the Chief to stay outta my goddamn business."

"Sir, I don't see how that's my…"

"You'll do it, Cullen, because you're getting a goddamn promotion after this case is solved. I can't believe you scored this damn tape on the mayor AND managed to keep yourself from getting killed."

"Actually, sir, it was Edw…"

He held his hand up. "I'll deal with your brother for interfering in police business when he's safe and sound, but for now, let's just get him out of this situation."

Muldoon wasn't the most understanding guy around.

We both figured at the most, there were five, maybe six out our department that were working outside of the law on this, and that Newton most likely was heading up that unit of assholes.

That still left us with a good ten or twelve GOOD cops and we knew we could take 'em down fairly easily later on. Muldoon called in the guys we trusted and reviewed his thoughts, got some feedback, which he ignored, then told me to get my ass in gear and handle running the sting.

We both felt pretty confident that the mayor was way too cocky to go anywhere, thinking Edward was gonna meet up with his point lady and hand over the tape he'd gotten.

That he didn't even have.

_Idiots._

He'd actually gotten on the damn news directly after the warehouse bust and put out another all points bulletin on my little brother, if you can believe that. So, basically, half the force, that was working for him anyway, was looking for Edward to take him down, while the other half was looking for him to help take down the mayor.

It was gonna be a circus at the very least, and the hard part would be deciphering which uniforms were the ones to take down and which ones were on the right side of the law.

I wasn't looking forward to it quite frankly, and yet, I kinda was, I'd been waiting a long damn time to take Aro Volturi down, and now thanks to Edward, I was gonna do just that.

…

"Dude, how did you manage to get the hell outta there without anyone chasing your ass? Or hell, KILLING your ass?" I asked Jasper when he met me at my parent's place a little while later.

There were a couple of DC Metro PD outside the house watching over mom and dad, and it was getting' late, so it wasn't like we had time for idle chit chat, but I was just amazed with this dude, he didn't have a scratch on him, swear to God.

"Skillllzzzzz…." He drew it out with his Texas twang as he took Alice's hand in his and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, and left it at that.

Alice smirked at him and then kissed him on the cheek, telling him she was gonna go make sure Rose was still on her way over. I'd asked her to come hang out with Alice till things were done, just in case.

Dad was joining us in the dining room, by then and I asked him, "How's Edward's little man friend? Seth, right?"

Dad smiled. We both found it highly amusing that Edward had latched on to this kid, it just wasn't like him at all and it really had me wondering what the hell kind of bond had formed between the two of them and why.

"He's sleeping, actually, just checked on him. He's quite the young man. I see why Edward is so protective of him, he reminds me of Edward, actually."

That was good at least, that he was sleeping that is, not that we had another Edward in the mix. That was never good. One Edward was enough, trust me.

When I thought about some of the laws that my brother quite possibly broke to get his cases solved, it made my head spin. It was just a good thing he never told me about any of them in detail, or I'd have to arrest him for real.

I felt pretty good about how the night was gonna go down, and wasn't AS worried about Edward, knowing I'd know where he was by about, a minute after Midnight.

Knowing him, he was just moving to the other side of the Mall. My brother believes in simple changes, anything else just complicates shit, he always says.

I was gonna have to have a serious talking to with him about the beauty of people HELPING you out in times of crisis. Then maybe kick his ass.

"Bring your brother home safe, Emmett," dad instructed, and mom couldn't even look at me as she left to go join Alice in the other room. "Number one priority, dad," I told him, and then Jasper and I left.

We were, I dunno, maybe ten minutes out, talking about our plan of action, kinda getting' to know each other a little too, when a curious voice sounded from the back seat of my cruiser.

"Is Edward okay?"

Jasper and I looked at each other, then at the back seat and I got a small glimpse of worry in the kids eyes as he waited for an answer.

"Seth," I said and turned back around, shaking my head at our stowaway.

Jasper nodded. "Yep, we've met. What the hell are ya doin' in the back seat of a police car, Seth?"

"I wanna help," was all he said to us.

"Seth, this is really dangerous, and you could get…"

"Screw that," he told me. "I helped Edward plenty already, just ask Bella, and I got a bone to pick with these guys, just as much as anybody else does."

_Defiant little…_

"Works for me," Jasper said, settling himself back into his seat, loading ammo into his semi-automatic.

I had a feeling, though, that Edward wouldn't have wanted this kid involved, hence the fact that he'd had him holed up at my parent's house.

"Seth, as an officer of the city of Washington, DC, I have to say, that…"

"You have to say that you're gonna let me help, whether you like it or not, because either you hook me up and give me a job, or I'm just gonna go off on my own anyway."

Yep, definitely reminded me of Edward.

I let out an irritated sigh, grabbing the steering wheel tightly, trying to weigh my options.

If I took him back to my parents, he'd just take off again, probably go all cockeyed and shit and get himself hurt, or probably worse.

On the other hand, if I hooked him up and gave him some kinda easy task, out of harms way, he'd be happy, and I wouldn't have to worry about keeping him bullet free, so I finally said, "Okay, but you do as I say, and don't get all cocky out there, got it?"

He perked up and practically bounced in his seat when he answered me. "Got it!"

So, off we drove to the South side of the mall and waited patiently for the tracking device to tell us where Edward was at exactly Midnight, so we could go save his ass.

Whether he liked it or not.

**PART 2. CULLEN ~ as in, Edward Motherfucking Cullen**

_Mother of Fucking…what the fuck? _

My mind was flip motherfucking flopping all over the goddamn place. I mean I fucking said it, but I couldn't believe it.

Was I still on the drugs?

"Is that you?"

Jess. Was sitting in this car, not, shit, arms reach from me?

Seriously?

_No. _

Was it Jess? Because it sure as shit looked like Jess. Sort of anyway. What I could see of her, that is.

She didn't acknowledge me. In fact, when I said her name, she shifted in her seat, blocking me with her body, and her hair was covering most of her face, so I couldn't see her expression or anything at all.

"Maybe you didn't fucking hear me, so I'll ask you again…_are you Jess_?"

A slew of shit started to stir in me, realizing that, holy mother of fucking hell…she was _alive_.

_Ghosts of Christmas's Past…_

Jess was fucking alive?

I couldn't stop saying that shit in my head, I didn't…I _couldn't_ fathom what I was feeling, it was like, relief, mixed up with, distress, and shit if I know what else, half of that shit I don't think I'd ever felt before.

"_Jess_. Fucking answer me, goddamn it before I lose my fucking…shit." I rubbed my forehead with the hand that held my Colt. I was literally numb, she wouldn't look up, and it was like a fucking knife was in my chest.

Was she crying? And if she was, was it because she was sad, knowing I'd know now that she was just fucking with me this whole time? Or was it because the mayor had her under his thumb and was forcing her to do this shit?

"Jess, look at me," I told her, pulling on the handle of the door, trying to open it.

I'd been waiting for this for weeks, wondering what the fuck I'd say to her if it turned out the driver was her…

It was her, right? I mean I wasn't fucking imagining that shit, was I?

I pounded on the window of the door and finally, fucking FINALLY, she looked up, and I started to tell her, "I don't understand, Jess, what…" my breathing sped up, pain, disappointment, idiocy…it was all just, rotted in the pit of my stomach when she finally made fucking eye contact with me.

And just when I thought I had a goddamn grasp on what exactly the hell was happening, and how I might deal with the fact that my best friend had been working with the worst possible group of low lifes in the entire area, my senses shut down when they were thrown a curve ball.

"_Bella._"

Her name floated off of my lips, and far, far away, I felt like I could literally watch it as it left.

What the fuck was going on?

_Shit._

Didn't see that comin'.

Like, at fucking all.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked her through the window, confused as shit and trying to get my brain to just shut the fuck up about what its own thoughts were at the moment.

I mean, was she fucking nuts? And did she NOT know there were killers hanging around waiting to do their jobs within who knew how many feet of us?

No, clearly she didn't…wouldn't know that…but where the hell had she been all goddamn day?

I backed up and motioned for her to get outta the car and she hesitated a little bit, but finally, she opened the door and stepped out, giving me a good look at the full glory of her outfit, which I ignored for the time being, it wasn't what I was concerned with at the moment.

I was half annoyed; half relieved, but to tell ya the truth, I just wanted to get us the hell outta there with no bullet holes.

I packed my Colt back into the back of my jeans while I started to lecture her ass.

"Swan, what the fuck are you thinking? You know the goddamn Volturi organization is gonna be here any fucking minute now?"

It was pretty goddamn clear she hadn't heard me, sh wasn't listening to a fucking word I'd said, she was thinking about something, and I couldn't quite grasp why the fuck she wasn't moving her ass.

"Swan," I said, starting to wonder if she was on the same drugs I'd been pumped with all goddamn day as I tried to get her to fucking focus on me for a second, and maybe even fucking talk to me.

She wasn't though, in fact, she wasn't saying ANY thing and the look on her face told me something that the pit in my stomach didn't wanna listen to, and yet, several facts started to combine together that had been lingering outside of my mind while I stood there, but hadn't fully penetrated my thoughts yet and my body was already reacting, even though I couldn't manage to form a full coherent thought yet about the situation.

Yeah, feel my pain, people.

Like the fact that she had been sitting in the red goddamn Ferrari when she'd pulled up.

And the wig, the blonde fucking wig that was covering up her perfect fucking chestnut hair.

And the trench coat I'd seen and chased one too many fucking times over the past weeks, trying to catch a goddamn ghost of some sort.

Which apparently wasn't a ghost after all.

I was seriously questioning my sanity, and tried again to focus, instinctively backing away from her a little bit, reaching for my gun again, pointing it at her.

It was fucked, ladies and gentlemen, fucked to shreds of a most surmountable goddamn motherfucking proportion.

In my humble motherfucking opinion, that is.

"Put your goddamn hands where I can see 'em, Swan," I said through a clenched goddamn jaw and quite possibly a completely broken to pieces fucking heart. The words seemed like the right thing to say, considering the fucking circumstances, but they just didn't ring true, if ya know what I mean.

I didn't really feel like I'd said anything at all, I barely heard myself speak as a matter of fact, but it was loud enough for her to hear it apparently, because she did it, slowly, seeing the realization in my expression.

I finally had a grasp on a tiny bit of reality for a moment, and confirmed with my brain that it was indeed, Swan, with a fucking wig on, and the trench coat and my mind felt like it was gonna implode or some shit like that.

Okay, so, what? It had been her? The whole goddamn time?

Because that just didn't fucking feel right _thinking_ it, much less _saying_ it.

My gut was wrenching…I mean shit, originally, I'd thought _maybe_…but I didn't know her then. Now, it was…well fuck, did I know her _now_?

I had to look away from her eyes for a minute. They were filled to the fucking brim with fat tears and I truly just couldn't comprehend any of this shit. I mean it didn't really make sense.

Did it?

My eyes were darting, and I think I vaguely remember someone saying something, which didn't make any goddamn sense, because the only two people around were Swan, and me…and I wasn't saying shit at that point…was I?

Hell if I knew, to tell ya the truth, I was too busy trying to will my body to just give in, and to cease existing so I wouldn't have to deal with the over fucking flow of emotions taking over my whole system at that point.

"Cullen, I…" She trailed off, like she was second guessing what exactly the fuck she was gonna say.

"I think you better start fucking telling me what the hell you're doing in that get up, Swan," I told her, keeping the Colt steadily pointed at her ass. I mean shit, part of me felt like maybe this was just her idea of a fucking joke, to give me a hard goddamn time about my paranoia.

I swear I laughed as I said it.

She looked down at her feet as she took the wig off. "It was…I was…" she looked around a little, then straight at me. "I'm the driver, Cullen."

I looked at her cockeyed, like I still couldn't understand a goddamn word she was saying. "No, you…there was another driver, that night, we followed them together, remember? You were _with_ me." I said that shit like I was trying to convince her or something, like _she _was the one that had lost her mind.

The facts just weren't fucking adding up in my head with this bullshit and I was a little goddamn pissed off to be honest, I mean shit, was she telling me what I thought she was fucking telling me?

Seriously?

She pursed her lips. "I, h…had a friend help me." Her voice was cracking, like she was literally in pain, having to admit that shit. "It was just to throw you off."

She kept trying to look me in the eyes, but would look away at the last minute toward something else.

She was fucking kidding me, right?

I mean this WAS the woman I was in fucking love with, right? We just not…god, fuck how many days ago now? Had JUST fucking proclaimed our goddamn LOVE for each other. Am I fucking right here?

"Is this some kind of a goddamn joke, Swan? 'Cause it's not fucking funny."

She was swallowing something back, something vile and I lost it. Patience, gone...understanding, gone...mind, definitely fucking gone.

I cocked the gun, because I couldn't stand looking at her anymore, I wanted the look on her face to go away so I wouldn't have to feel the hole in my fucking chest anymore that she was ripping through me.

"Edward…" she said, starting to reach for me, but I backed up again, straightening out my aim of the Colt at her fucking head.

"Don't you fucking say my name," I told her, trying to regulate my fucking breathing to keep from pulling the goddamn trigger right then and there.

She tightened her lips against each other and twisted her mouth some, and seemed to look behind me, then met my eyes again, and I couldn't help being, well, me, because I needed to get some shit off of my chest.

"Good job, by the way," I told her, smirking like none of this was bothering the fuck out of me. "I clearly under-goddamn-estimated you." I said it with all the venom I was feeling seep into my soul at that moment. I honestly didn't know if I was feeling relieved, or saddened that it wasn't Jess standing in front of me, but fuck if I wasn't thinking that I'd almost rather have _had_ it been Jess, than to have it have been Swan standing there.

Because fucking honestly, my friends, whatever I'd been thinking I'd feel, finding out Jess had been fucking with me, it was a _thousand_ fold, hearing Swan say it had been her.

"I…" she started again, but then stopped herself, only to begin again. "I'm sorry."

She barely got it out, it was like a whisper and I wanted to spit. I sincerely fucking wanted to spit every bodily fluid out of my system, for feeling something for her, for loving her, for fucking…_telling_ her that shit.

"You must've done a lot more than study for profiling over in Europe to be able to turn the worlds biggest critic into a goddamn _idiot_," I told her, wanting her to admit everything, to come clean with me at least, before they ended me.

For the first time, fucking EVER, I actually begged for Newton to be there, somewhere, to end my ass, because there was just no way I'd be coming back from this.

Bella wouldn't speak anymore, it was like she was on batteries, or, a remote control or something, she only allowed herself to say what had been the pre-approved wording she'd gone over with herself before our meeting.

I was fucking tired…done…but I cocked the gun again and she flinched, closing her eyes, the huge tears streaming down her face and I laughed, or tried to, I think it came out as more of a plea for help.

"Open 'em, Swan. You know how much I like to watch you, watching me," I said, biting back the pain I felt myself, shit, biting back _everything_ I felt, and fuck, I couldn't see straight, but I wanted to see the look in her eyes when I took her last breath for fucking with my head like that.

She did as I told her, I had to give her credit, she wasn't goin' out like a goddamn coward, like Newton probably would have.

I sincerely thought she was gonna start crying again for a minute there. She looked off into the distance and then, she seemed to become resolved about something, and decided it was a good time to have a talk with me again. Which in my book, is the stupidest fucking thing you could do when someone's got a gun pointed at your temple.

She glanced behind me, then made a determined eye contact with me before she started.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Cullen," she said sincerely.

_What the fuck?_

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You didn't wanna HURT me?"

Now I _was_ laughing, because I was pretty sure that getting someone to fall in love with you, then basically telling them that you're working with the very people that have been fucking with your head for over four weeks…constituted fucking hurting them.

Then I remembered some things, and couldn't help but wonder out loud, "You had the opportunity Swan, that first day…why didn't you just shoot me? You obviously missed on purpose. What the fuck was that all about anyway? What…was the plan to drive me in-fucking-sane first, THEN kill me?"

I was talking about the day she'd shot the glass out of the door to my building, when Em first visited me after the mayor incident.

Something I'd said made her think of something, I could see it in her eyes. They kinda stared off into the distance for a few seconds, then she squared off her shoulders, and said, "I don't want to kill you, Cullen." It was seductive this time, like she was dripping with sex.

Not that that was hard for her, she was good at seductive. She finished her sentence off once she saw the confusion on my face, with, "I just want you to _suffer_."

And then, the knife in my chest got twisted even further, because I recognized the line…it was from the movie we'd watched together only a few nights before and I laughed bitterly at her because she wasn't just making this painful, she wanted to drag the pain out as long as she could for whatever fucking reason.

I mean shit, why the hell not, right?

"What are you quoting movie shit to me now? Like maybe we can BOND before I end your ass? Like this is some kinda fucking tragedy or something?"

She twisted her mouth some, and then arched her eyebrow at me and said, "Call me Ashley Judd I guess…" smiling innocently and shit, and at that I raised the gun, pointing it at her, trying to focus so as to control my goddamn anger and not miss.

I laughed at her, wanting her to know she didn't own my heart anymore, and that shit was hard, let me tell ya, my friends, I mean, seeing how she actually, indeed DID own my goddamn heart.

"Call you…" I couldn't even finish the sentence. I felt my finger tighten around the trigger of the Colt, and I was ready to face whatever fucking consequences came from…

Wait.

Ashley Judd. Double Jeopardy…

_Double Jeopardy._

_Double motherfucking Jeopardy._

I scowled for a second, and Swan was looking at me like she was waiting for something.

Like, maybe for me to figure something the fuck out.

Like, I don't know, maybe that I was a goddamn _idiot _after all.

Shit, it wasn't her, she was quoting motherfucking Double Jeopardy because it wasn't fucking her!

_Jesus H. motherfucking Christ on a goddamn stick I'm a fucking dumb ass._

Of fucking COURSE they'd do this shit.

It all made sense all of a sudden, like a light switch had been flicked on or something.

I mean, fuck if it wasn't goddamn brilliance on their part, really.

Cullen gets too close to the truth, have Cullen followed for weeks, make him think his dead friend is alive, and possible working against him, distract Cullen with fuck hot beautiful woman, Cullen falls in love with woman, kidnap woman, put woman in outfit, drive Cullen over edge, Cullen kills the girl, takes the wrap for bullshit fuckery, nobody realizes, YET A FUCKING GAIN, that the people behind Arrow goddamn shipping committed murder against the city's law enforcement officer, Jessica goddamn Stanley.

Fuckin', A.

And I'm supposed to be the crazy one?

It was just dumb luck on their part that I'd actually fallen in fucking love with Swan…I mean, what are the goddamn odds of THAT shit happening?

Okay maybe they hadn't planned on that part, she was probably just supposed to be a distraction.

The point is, people, that it woke me up and made me realize, I'd come _really fucking _close to playing the pansy they'd wanted me to be.

And also, that Swan was _definitely_ gonna kick my fuckin' ass when this shit was over for almost shooting her in the head.

Yep, good times.

I could always claim the drugs made me do it…

Okay, shit, I needed to focus…

Keeping the gun on her, I made eye contact with her again, and my mind started spinning. Clearly we were being watched, and she hadn't tried to come out and tell me it wasn't her, which meant we were being listened in on, too. So I had to fucking think of something.

Something that wouldn't get both of us fucking killed.

Movement behind her caught my attention, and even though I had no idea exactly how many fucking assholes were with us there, I was taking at least one of 'em down.

"Get on your knees, Swan," I told her with the same anger and venom I'd had before, only now, even I could hear that it wasn't ringing true. I just hoped she could too.

"What?"

"On. Your fucking. Knees. You can do that right? Being that you're a high ranking KICK boxer, right?"

I winked slightly and she did as I told her to. I even thought I finally saw a glimmer of realization in her eyes as she let out a slight sigh of what I could only guess was relief, considering I'd just come within about two goddamn seconds of ending her life.

"On your count, Swan, what would you like the count to be?" I asked, curling my lips down and furrowing my brow at her.

"Um, two? No...three," she told me, after scanning around us for additional fucktards.

Cool, that meant there was at a minimum, three shitheads in back of me, plus the one in front I'd already pegged, and I had my gun all ready for the poor sap in the bushes behind the Swan.

This was do-able.

_Game on, Cullen. Let's do this._

Bella looked like she was ready to pounce and I pointed the gun at her again.

"See ya in hell, my friend," I said to the bushes, then adjusted my aim just a fraction to the left and shot off a round.

Red fell out of the bush and staggered, holding her arm and cursing like a sailor and my mind freaked out a little fucking bit, wondering how long I mighta had after shooting Swan before they'd killed me and told the press I'd been a psycho who finally lost his goddamn mind...

Unfortunately, I didn't have the fucking time to tell our freindly neighborhood red head how un fucking lady like it was to kill someone from behind a fucking bush as opposed to facing them like a man, when Bella flew forward, pushing me onto my back as shots flew passed my ears and into the ground.

"Fuck, what was…"

"It's James! Edward, RUN!"

_James. Where the hell was Newton?_

More bullets flew from both directions then. They were quietly muffled by silencer probably and all over the fucking place as I rolled behind a tree and Bella went in the opposite direction.

Not exactly my plan, but we were both out of harms immediate goddamn way, so I had to say, I was pretty motherfuckin' happy for the time being.

"You okay!" I yelled over to her, even though I couldn't fucking see her.

More bullets started flying and I was confused, because these were coming from yet another direction, and then I heard someone shout through a bull horn, "Police!"

_What the…_

That's when all hell broke loose like a motherfucker.

Some kinda fucking SWAT team flew in from who the fuck knows where and I saw Emmett of all goddamn people hollering out instructions, but hell if I was gonna stop to ask him when the fuck he'd become the head of a SWAN team.

"Swan!" I yelled out, looking around for her, but either she couldn't hear me, or wasn't fucking speaking to me, or had been shot, because I got nothin' back as I tried to dodge the shit that was going down around me all of a fucking sudden.

The shooter in the trees jumped down behind me and I decided that fucker must have been the infamous goddamn James. He was outside of the perimeter that the police had shown up and put together, so no one had seen him pack his shit up and get outta dodge.

Except for me, that is.

He took off at a good pace in the opposite direction of the action, and I took one more look around for Swan. I didn't see her and had to assume she'd jumped into help DC Metro out. I figured she was as safe there as anywhere, so I took off after the fuck head that had taken pot shots at my ass a few minutes before.

"Hey!" I yelled out, knowing this schmuck wouldn't be able to pass up a confrontation with THE Edward fucking Cullen, they guy he was supposed to off in the event that Swan had fucked up.

He slowed, and turned, saw me, and dropped his bag.

_Oh, it's on motherfucker._

"Leaving so goddamn soon? I thought this was supposed to be a fucking party or something," I said to him, eggin' his sorry ass on.

"You shoulda stayed back with your babysitters back there, Cullen, I don't play games. I'm a real boy."

_Boy_, being the operative word you should have picked up on, there.

"Oh, I dunno jackass, I think you might like _my_ game, James, it's called 'asshat gets his fucking face mangled'…what d'ya think? I'm sure you'll find it a little more challenging than bullying a fucking woman around."

He laughed.

I was just glad Bella wasn't anywhere around to hear me say that shit.

I didn't mean that she couldn't fucking handle herself, but I knew this dick wouldn't be able to pass that shit up.

He cocked his head at me and smirked. "Bella's quite frisky, Cullen. I found her a little too…" He pursed his lips, thinking for a second, then finished. "…chatty for me, see I like a woman's mouth to do, other things…although, had we had more time together…ya never know."

That was it, he was goin' goddamn down.

I made my move to throttle the life out of him, but James already had a gun in his hand, and proceeded to point it at me, which stopped me dead, and I figured I probably had a couple of seconds to get the fuck out of the way before he pulled the trigger.

I went another route.

"Too chicken to fight?" I asked him, "That's a little too easy, don't ya think?"

He took the bait of course, how could he fucking not?

James tossed the gun down and I didn't hesitate before running at him and throwing the first fucking fist at his forearm.

See, everyone expects the first punch to be thrown at the face, so they block that shit, not wanting to mess up a pretty profile, but when they block it, ya take the opportunity to break the forearm, that's pay dirt right there.

Motherfucking beauty.

"Fuck!" he screamed out, grabbing his arm and I threw a side kick at his face but he blocked it with his good arm.

I spun and gave him a nice goddamn back kick into his rib cage and he fell backwards.

The good news was, he was going the fuck down.

Bad news, he'd landed next to his goddamn gun, and picked it up, pointing it directly at yours truly.

Guns are dangerous, boys and girls, don't play with them at home unless you're supervised by an adult, and even then...well, fuck it, nevermind.

I reached for my Colt but I wasn't fast enough and I was thinking of the best way to get out of a bullet's path before it hit me when something I hadn't planned on happened.

Or rather, some ONE I hadn't planned on.

"Don't move!" Seth shouted, holding something up at James that looked like one of the old fake ass pieces of shit Em and I used to play with and part of me wondered, but thought, no fucking _way_ did Em let this kid come to a goddamn police sting.

Not my brother.

Not in a million goddamn years.

He threw James off for a fraction of a second, long enough for me to ask, "Seth, what the fuck are you…" but I didn't get a chance to finish, because once James realized I knew Seth, he smiled, pointed his gun at the kid and fired off a round, then said, "Next time, Cullen."

He didn't run, he picked up his bag and just, fucking walked away. The asshole knew I wouldn't follow him.

Seth flew backwards and I felt like everything started moving in slow goddamn motion for a minute as I ran for him, like I thought I could stop the bullets from penetrating his chest or something if I could just fucking get there fast enough.

But I wasn't fucking fast enough.

He was on the ground and not moving within seconds.

Seconds that felt like fucking forever to me.

"Seth!" I ran over to him and he was already down and I cursed like a motherfucker for someone to come help me as James silhouette disappeared into the shadows.

"Shit! Seth!" then, "EMMETT!" then another, "SOMEONE! FUCK!"

I was just screaming, hoping someone would fucking hear me.

I didn't know exactly how fucking far away I was from the shit storm that was goin' down back in the clearing, but no one was coming to help and felt useless as a goddamn piece of lint as I sat there, holding him with his goddamn eyes closed like that.

Not talking, not laughing, not being a fucking smart ass.

Nothing.

The kid had never done anything wrong except be in all the wrong goddamn places in the wrong goddamn times and I wanted to fucking kill someone for fucking his life up like that.

I sat in silence for a fucking minute, trying to figure out how in the HELL I was gonna get him somewhere, to someone, Dad maybe, who'd be able to do fucking…SOMETHING for him…

Which is why I literally fucking jumped when he sucked in a ragged breath and his eyes shot open and he looked up at me and said, "Hey Edward."

_What the fuck?_

"Seth," I muttered, choking back the shock. "What…he fucking shot you dead in the chest, kid."

He smiled while choking a little, trying to catch his breath as he pulled his t-shirt down at the neck for me to see the black Kevlar vest underneath and said, "Your brother gave me a bullet proof vest…cool right?"

_Mother of…_

I dropped him onto the ground and heard him grunt as I got up, dragging my goddamn hands through my goddamn hair, trying to catch my own goddamn breath while fighting the urge to go beat the living shit out of Em for bringing the kid there, or better yet, beating the living shit out of Seth for scaring the shit outta me like that.

"You okay?" he asked me, getting himself up off of the ground.

"Am I oh…Seth…" I couldn't help it, I started laughing and bent over, holding myself up by putting my hands on my knees, sucking in some air and just trying to grateful he wasn't goddamn dead, or not pissed off that I hadn't run after James instead of trying to save his sorry ass.

"Holy shit."

"Hey, did you find Bella, your brother said she was missing earlier or something?" he asked, like we were just, you know, standing around waiting for fucking ice cream from the goddamn ice cream truck or something.

The kid was fucking priceless.

"That's an understatement, Seth, but speaking of which…" I said, "Let's get back and see where everyone stands in the crossfire back there."

We headed back to the police scene, where it looked like shit was being wrapped up and I wondered how the fuck long I'd been gone, 'cause that shit was tight.

Emmett was giving some orders to a few people, one of which had Red in cuffs, leading her to a cruiser and I nodded to her. "Let this be a lesson, Red," I said in my best Telly Savalas's voice. "Crime doesn't pay, my friend."

She didn't say anything, she just smirked a little and arched her eyebrow like she had a secret she wasn't gonna tell, then let the nice young, non-talkative police officer put her into the backseat of the car.

"Keep an eye on that one, Em," I told him, eying Red the whole time.

"Bro," he said back to me. "You lived."

Why the fuck did he sound so surprised by that?

I was looking around for Bella, and a few other people that I held a distinct interest in. "So, how'd you…"

He smiled. "Tracking device on your cell."

"Nice."

"If I do say so myself," he added, smugly, and I rolled my eyes, watching Seth take off to go help a guy put police tape up around the area.

"So tell me somethin', _bro,_" I said, completely fucking sarcastic as a motherfucker. "Since when does straight laced DC Metro officer of the law, Emmett fucking Cullen bring a minor to a police sting?"

Em dragged his hand over his face and put a hand on one of my shoulders.

"That kid is fucking stubborn, Edward…" he started, and I laughed, cause fuck if I didn't already know that shit. "Yeah he is," I finished for him.

I felt like I had a million fucking questions all of a sudden. "Where's Newton?"

"We've got an APB out for him, I didn't see him here and the cops that _were_ here and involved are all in custody."

He thought about that for a second, then added, "I fucking hope."

He kept goin', like he already knew my next question. "…and Muldoon made a personal visit to the mayor's mansion about fifteen minutes ago, the guy gave up without a fight, Muldoon said he was practically in tears."

I'd have paid to see that shit, considering the fuckery he'd put me through at the warehouse earlier on.

My cell phone rang and I ignored it while I cocked an eyebrow at Em's summary of events. "Muldoon, huh?" I asked, not exactly feelin' the love for that guy, but if Emmett trusted him…

Hell, who was I kiddin', I'd never trust that guy.

"The tape you gave up had so much evidence on it, there's no way the mayor's getting' outta this, Edward, you did good."

I laughed. "Regardless of whether I remember half of it."

"Right," he said, slapping me on the shoulder.

"Newton missing can't be good, know where Bella went?" I asked, craning my neck around the area to see where she'd ended up.

"What do you mean?" he asked, frowning in confusion.

"Bella, I left her back here, where'd she go? Home?"

My cell rang again and I ignored that fucker, again, because I needed to know where the hell Bella was. Em just scowled a little more though. "Edward, Bella wasn't here, I haven't seen her once."

Fuck, not again.

"And Newton's missing," I added, stating the fact we both already knew.

That little tid bit of information hung out there like a naked dude playin' guitar on the corner of fifth street and Madison in New York City for a few minutes.

"Shit," we both said at the same time.

My fucking cell rang a third time and I finally answered the motherfucker, half expecting Swan to tell me she was done with goddamn Washington DC politics and heading back to fucking Forks.

"What." I answered it through clenched teeth.

Turns out I was partially correct.

It was someone from Forks, just not Bella.

"Jake, how'd you get my fucking…What do you mean, you're in town?"

Emmett gave me a look and I came to the conclusion that he knew exactly why Jake would be in town. I was trying to piece together why he would have any idea about Jake's whereabouts when Jake himself woke me up from that train of thought.

"It's kinda hard to explain, Edward, look, I need to talk to you and Bella," he said.

I kinda did this semi-laughing thing, but also felt like I wanted to fucking throw up at the same goddamn time. "Yeah, well, I kinda need to talk to Bella too, Jake."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she's missing and I have no fucking idea how to find her." I dragged my hand through my hair, grabbing at the roots, wanting to pull it out with a fucking vengeance.

There was a hint of hysteria in his voice when he asked me what in the hell was goin' on, but I could only answer with, "Does it really fucking matter what the fuck is goin on, Jake?"

There was some awkward silence for a minute and I wondered if he'd fainted or some shit like that, but then I swear I could almost hear him smiling through the phone when he finally said to me, "I know how to find her."


	27. Meet My Friend Karma, The Bitch

**A/N: Chappy song = 21 Guns by Green Day

* * *

Chapter 26. ~ "Meet My Friend Karma, The Bitch"**

**PART 1. SWAN**

_Thank god for small movie quotes._

I felt such a surge of relief when Cullen winked at me, letting me know he'd gotten my message by way of quoting Double Jeopardy to him.

I mean, thank GOD, right?

I was so fucking happy, giddy, excited, proud, in love…

I was also…going…to _kill_ him.

The fact that _he'd_ almost literally killed _me_ not two minutes before I'd had that thought did not escape me as being ironic, trust me.

But seriously. Once I was over the initial shock of him actually picking up on my clue that I hadn't been a part of the whole, red Ferrari driving incidents, I literally, could have fucking throttled him for even _remotely_ believing it in the first place.

Jesus, what? Was he on DRUGS or something?

Although, it's not like I hadn't come out and TOLD him it was me…why wouldn't he have believed me? Or wanted to end the life of someone who'd theoretically just put him through his own personal hell for the past four weeks?

Even aside from all of that, the pain I'd seen in his eyes when he thought I was the culprit all that time made me want to die, so when he pointed his gun at me, I was ready to help him move on.

And I'd found a very small solace in the fact that it had taken quite a bit of work to convince him.

The betrayal he must have been feeling when I looked him in the eyes and told him it had been me, well, I don't even want to think about how that must have made him feel.

And right after things had come to a point between us where there was a mutual trust and deep love.

_Love._

That was about when I had decided that, wait a minute, this was Edward Cullen we were talking about. Genius at his job, sarcastic as hell, doesn't take anything from anyone lying down.

And I couldn't lie down either.

The two of us just couldn't go out that way, if Cullen had killed me, James without a doubt would have killed him, then the Voturis and the mayor, and Mike, James…they'd have all gotten away with the whole thing, all over again.

When I saw Mike off in the distance, watching the whole thing, with that _stupid_ smug smile on his face, that's when I became decided.

He wasn't going to watch the man I loved ruin his life over this…BULLSHIT.

I threw out the Double Jeopardy quote to Cullen, hoping…no, KNOWING he'd get it, he was smart and I had to trust in that.

And he did get it.

_Thank god._

When he shot at whoever was in back of me, I threw myself onto him, knowing James was in that tree just behind him, simply _waiting_ for a screw up, something giving him the go ahead to a bullet into Edward.

Once we'd landed and I had Edward on his back, thinking of what I would have paid to NOT be in the middle of a war of sorts at that time, bullets immediately started firing past us from both directions.

"Fuck, what was…" he started to ask me, but I cut him off.

"It's James!" I yelled in a panic. "EDWARD! RUN!" I screamed and we both rolled out of the direct line of fire from James's gun.

Just not in the SAME direction.

I'd lost Edward then, in the darkness and shadows and yelled out for him but he must not have heard me.

That was when I heard the police shouting, and was quite thankful that we weren't going to die at the hands of these people, but I couldn't be bothered with sticking around because I couldn't keep my eyes off of Mike, who was sneaking away from the scene like the complete slime ball he was to save his own ass, once again.

_Dick._

He slid into a civilian vehicle he'd kept parked close by and I had to stop to wonder if he was planning on heading out of town, knowing this would all go sour, maybe.

_So loyal._

_Not._

I quickly jumped into the closest car I could find and hotwired it, following him.

In the back of my mind, I was thinking how maybe I should have looked for Cullen, grabbed a cop, or…something, but then I might have lost Mike, and he needed to pay for his part in this whole mess.

Besides, I knew how to handle myself.

Even if I _didn't_ have a gun.

After a while, I started to recognize the area we were heading toward as the warehousing district, and decided he was probably making his way to Arrow Shipping.

I shouldn't have been surprised, and I really wasn't, except that he had to have known the place would be swarming with cops by then.

And when we got there, he must have seen what I'd already suspected, because he slowed down just before arriving at the iron gate leading into the warehouse.

The building was all blocked off and there were police milling about all over the place, so I had to assume that things were finally coming together with the case and that people actually had a clue as to who was involved.

Meaning, most importantly, NOT Cullen.

Mike didn't quite come to a stop, trying to figure out his next move, maybe, but then moved along at a slow speed and I followed him to an alleyway not too far from Arrow.

I pulled up to a spot as far away as I could from him and slunk down into my seat, watching as Mike got out of his car, pulling out a bag from the back seat. He looked around, then set off on foot for the rest of his journey.

I got out of my stolen vehicle and tailed him on foot until we came up on to a line of docks behind the warehouses and he run down a hill in between some of them, entering a small boat house, closing the door behind him.

I took a look around me, there weren't really many people out, but that wasn't odd, seeing how it was the wee hours of the morning and all.

My adrenalin was pumping and I was REALLY wishing I'd had my gun on me, or at least could see a police officer but I decided I didn't need the gun and if I didn't move fast, Mike would be gone and he would just get away with all of the shit he'd put Edward through, ring leader or not.

There just wasn't time to go fetch a cop.

"Suck it up, Swan," I said to myself, using Edward's words to snap me out of the terror I was feeling.

I sneaked down the hill in front of me, to the boat house and entered it quietly, finding Mike packing up a speedster with miscellaneous bags and boxes, clearly planning on being gone a while.

Once I was in, and the door was closed behind me, I readied myself and called out to him.

"Mike."

I said it softly, yet sternly, I didn't want to startle him, not that that was avoidable.

He spun around and although he had his hand on his holster, he dropped it when he saw me, somewhat blowing me off.

"Bella."

He pulled a hose off of the wall, turned a few knobs on some contraption and began filling the boat with gasoline.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off, saving fucking Cullen or something?"

He was sarcastic. Hurt. I swear if I hadn't hated him with all of my being, I'd have actually felt sorry for the guy.

He went back to packing his boat up, and took his police jacket off, replacing it with a civilian coat.

"What makes someone do the things you've been doing, Mike?" I asked him, honestly curious as to what had driven him to become such an evil person.

I took a step toward him that he didn't notice.

He laughed bitterly and shook his head while he threw a few boxes that looked like supplies into the back storage unit of the boat.

It was becoming abundantly clear that he was getting outta there while he could. Who knew what he'd planned on doing once he was gone.

Or maybe he planned on coming back to finish Edward off another time.

"Fucking Jess," I thought I heard him mumble under his breath and I wondered why he'd say something like that when…

_Oh no._

_Please, no._

"Mike," I started cautiously. "Tell me you didn't have anything to do with Jess's death."

He stopped what he was doing and then after a minute or so, stood up defiantly toward me, and began to admit what Cullen had been trying solve all those years.

"She had a crush on him ya know," he said and I felt the crease in between my eyes start to form.

I assumed he was talking about Edward now, but from what _he'd_ said, he and Jess had only ever been friends, so I came to the conclusion that Mike was just wound up in his own delusions.

"He never gave her the time of fucking day, though, Cullen…fucking typical…which is why she'd never give any other guy the time of day."

He looked like he had something in his eyes, like, disgust maybe and laughed bitterly.

"All I ever wanted to do was treat her right. But she wouldn't have it, because she was always so wrapped up in her precious goddamn Edward." He spit, and then raked his hand over his face, and I moved a little closer, slowly.

"So you…_killed_ her?" I was confused, was he THAT far gone that he'd committed a crime of passion over someone who simply wouldn't DATE him?

He breathed out and smiled, like that fact that he had to explain this next part was a waste of his time.

"Jess was too nosy for her own good," he said and I jumped, feeling a vibration in the back pocket of my jeans.

_My phone!_

I had completely forgotten that I had my cell phone on me…and apparently, and very luckily for me, so had James.

I couldn't exactly pull it out though, Mike would certainly lose it if I did, and I had no way of defending myself this far away from him, so I ignored it and just hoped it was Edward, letting me know he was okay.

Mike gave me a funny look, but continued as I inched a little closer to him.

"She wasn't expected at the warehouse that night, ya know…Arrow just wanted to set it up to destroy some evidence, and maybe gain some sympathy from the city, maybe make it look like someone had it out for him."

I could NOT believe what I was hearing.

"So it was an accident?" I asked him, trying to piece it all together.

"Bella, I gave her a chance," he said, trying to explain his actions to me. "I _TOLD_ her all they wanted was to do their business, make some money, they didn't wanna bother anyone…but she was…so…_stubborn_…" He rolled his eyes. "A lot like you, actually."

I narrowed my eyes at him, thinking how completely idiotic it was of him to think that ANYONE with a good conscious would look the other way at what the Volturi organization was doing.

"She wouldn't listen, and she even tried to turn that shit around on me that night, told me she'd give me a chance to turn myself in and maybe turn evidence over on Aro."

He laughed a big loud laugh then. "She put up an okay fight I guess, but I beat her down eventually, and when I tied her up…" he actually looked a little sad about the next part of his story. "She _begged_ me to change my mind, not to go through with it…Hell, she even told me she'd _go out_ with me after all."

He laughed like a mad man. "Like that would have made a difference at that point."

His face changed then, and it looked distorted as he told me, "The things that the two of you have in common, Bella, both making me look like a complete IDIOT!"

He was getting so angry, and I inched a few more steps in his direction.

_Almost._

"She deserved to die," he finally said, and part of me wondered if he was about to say "and so do you." But he didn't, instead, he just went back to packing his boat up while he finished.

"It's Cullen's fault, he didn't deserve her, and he doesn't deserve you."

Was he serious?

Okay, I didn't have time to analyze why he'd say that, because I was finally close enough to punch him in his stupid face, knocking him off balance and into the boat.

"Mother…fuck!" he yelled as he righted himself, cursing me and reaching for his gun, but I front swing kicked his arm and it flew into the water.

"God…DAMN IT! What is with you, woman!"

I got myself into a defensive stance and readied for him, remembering what Cullen had said so many weeks ago about how _Newton will be looking you in the eyes, thinking of his next move…_

"You're not leaving, Mike," I told him with my hands up in front of me ready to strike, or defend, whichever came first. "And you're not getting away with committing MURDER."

"Bella," he said, climbing out of the boat on the other side of the dry dock. "I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into here, you could get hurt."

I laughed a little at that. I was getting really annoyed with men who thought I couldn't do a little damage myself. "Well, if you think that, why don't you come over here and say it."

_So I can wipe that fucking smug look off of your face._

He actually stopped to look at his watch as he eyed me, making his way over to my side of the boat, careful not to trip over any of the shit lying around.

"Somewhere you need to be?" I asked him, sarcastically.

He just grinned and finished his walk and when I swung for him, he grabbed my wrist, pulling me up against him.

"You can't POSSIBLY be turned on right now," I said to him, not really needing him to answer me verbally, since I could already feel the answer up against my leg. "You _do_ remember the last time you were this close to me, what happened, right?"

I just couldn't believe this guy was THAT stupid, but then again…

"Oh I remember, Bella," he said, locking my other wrist in his free hand, pushing me up against the dock house wall so I was pinned there.

His waist pushed up against me and I realized, whatever he'd done had made it nearly impossible for me to move my legs at all.

"Watcha gonna do now that you don't have the ability to knee me in the balls, Bella?" he asked me, trying to be…seductive? Was he serious?

EWE!

"I'm sure I have a few ideas." I cocked an eyebrow at him and his smile made me wanna puke.

I arched my face to his and looked at his lips, knowing he'd fall for it, he was a fucking idiot after all.

Sure enough, Mike lowered his sickening, under sexed, over stimulated, disgusting lips to mine, jetting his tongue out before he even made contact.

Men and their dicks, they will NEVER learn.

I bit down onto his tongue as hard as I could, refusing to let go.

"AHHH!" he screamed out, pushing away from me, and when he looked up, holding his hand to his mouth, blood dripped down and I smiled, because now I did have room to move.

"Mistake number one, Mike," I said, front kicking him in his mother _FUCKING_ nuts as hard as I could. He fell back into his boat again, and I jumped down, hovering over him while he practically cried like a baby.

"Don't ever talk about Cullen like that…he's ten times the man you could ever even dream about being."

He looked up at me, one hand on his dick, the other over his mouth and I told him, "Mistake number two…" I pulled his cuffs off of his belt and began placing them on his wrists while he whined like a damn girl.

"Do not. Ever. Fucking. Touch. Me."

I said it as close to his face as I could, then got a little thrown off when his eyes darted to the side, behind me.

I didn't even get the chance to look and see what he was staring at when I heard, "Nicely done, Swan."

I whipped my head around, and saw Edward, who was standing next to…

_Jake?_

I'd deal with that fact later.

They were both holding their guns, trained on what I only guessed was Mike's head and I was never more glad to see two of my favorite men in the world than at that point.

It was over, and Edward was safe.

But something wasn't right…Edward didn't look himself at all, and was seemingly unable to take his eyes off of Mike. He was scaring me a little bit and I wondered if part of him still worried I'd been telling him the truth back in the clearing where I said I'd been the driver all along.

I left Mike cuffed in the boat and practically jumped over the debris that was stacked along the side of the dry dock into him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of it, they told me they'd kill you if I didn't…" I couldn't stop talking, and his hand found their way around my waist as his head dipped into my neck and he just breathed in deeply.

I pulled away only long enough to put my lips on his, feeling the traitor tears start to fall down the side of my face and even though Edward's kiss seemed real, and just as desperate as mine did, he slowly slid his hands up my side, to my own hands and pried them from around his neck, pulling his lips away from mine.

His jaw clenched as his eyes moved to Newton again and I started to wonder, "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough," was all he said and Jake made a move to hold me up for some reason, while Edward pushed me out of the way to go…Mike.

_Oh shit._

If he'd been there 'long enough', then he knew what Mike had done.

"Edward, don't, he's not worth it, and he's already cuffed, there's plenty of evidence on him and he'll be going away for a long time for what he did."

I pulled my arm out of Jake's grasp and put it on Edward's shoulder.

He stopped but I could still feel the tension in his body.

I thought he was gonna ignore me, possibly do something he might regret later, but he turned and smiled at me and said, "You're right Bella. He's definitely worthless."

I thought he made some sort of eye contact with Jake but when I looked to see what that was, Jake was looking in the other direction.

Edward "helped" Mike out of the boat and waved a hand to let Jake and me know to go ahead of him.

"So how'd you guys find me anyway?" I asked and Jake laughed, shaking his cell phone in front of him. "GPS never came in so handy, Bells," he said.

Edward lost his balance and fell right into Jake, almost losing grip in Mike, but he regained his control again and just said he was sorry without really looking at either of us.

He said nothing else as we exited the dock house and when Jake and I were out, I turned around to help him get Mike over the steps but he was still standing on the other side of the threshold, closing the door on me.

"Edward…" I started, ready to ask him what the hell he was doing, and yet, fully aware of just _exactly_ what was about to go down.

"Don't…" I reached out to stop him but it was too late.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but he can't live."

The look on his face was absolutely lethal as he finished shutting the door and that was the last thing he said to me as I heard the door lock from the other side.

"Cullen!"

_Shit! _

He was gonna kill Newton, and then he'd be gone, too.

"Edward! _Please_ don't do this!" I screamed, but he didn't answer me and in desperation, I turned to Jake.

"We can't let him do this."

"Anything," he answered and I told him, "Shoot the lock."

He made to get his gun but then realized it wasn't on him. We were both un-armed and then Jake looked at the dock house, trying to figure out a way in, or around, or…something.

"Please Edward…don't do this," I begged him through the door, my eyes burning, but still, he didn't answer.

Jake looked up at me, helplessly, as wretched tears started overflowing in my eyes and then said he'd go find something to bust the door down with.

I just hoped we found something in time to save Edward.

**PART 2. CULLEN**

When Jake and I ran up on the old dock house we knew Bella had entered, I figured there'd be nothin' but shit fuckery going on.

I'd fully prepared myself to lecture the Swan's ass about taking off like that when we hadn't even fucking recovered from almost goddamn killing each other, much less gotten to make up and shit.

Nothing, however, could have prepared me for what I'd hear as we approached quietly.

As I listened to Newton confess to murdering Jess, I felt like my body was detaching itself from me or something, like I couldn't see straight, and like I was about to go ape motherfucking shit all over his ass if he didn't shut…the fuck…UP.

"She was stubborn," he was saying to Bella, and it just made everything over the past weeks open up in my chest and stab my heart a hundred times over.

_Newton had fucking killed Jess._

She was dead.

I mean, I fucking knew it, it had been pretty clear with the whole debacle with Swan just a little goddamn while ago, but to hear him say it out loud like that…and to hear him say he'd been the one…the one that had taken her life from her…

I knew at that moment, when I heard the words come out of his miserable fucking mouth that "_she deserved to die,_" that he needed to be gone.

The world would be a better place without Newton in it, and I was happy to be the guy that took him out of it.

Being outside, I was glad I couldn't fucking see what the hell he was doing when Swan said something about him being turned on…but it still made me wanna hurt him about ten different fucking ways to Sunday.

"That's it," I said and Jake agreed, but by the time we'd gotten _into_ the boat house, Bella had already given Newton a piece of 'don't fuck with me' pie. It all happened really fast and I was turned right the fuck on, as usual, watching her in action.

She was a goddamn work of art that I woulda paid any amount of money to have…forever.

At the point where she was finishing up with Newton, we just watched. Part of me was actually amused until I'd heard her say to him, "Don't ever talk about Cullen like that…he's ten times the man you could ever even dream about being."

Knowing what I had planned for him, and hearing her say that, made my stomach clench, but I was sick and motherfucking tired of these people's games.

Jake and I raised our guns simultaneously and pointed them at the dickless wonder while Bella cuffed him with his own goddamn metal, a little tighter than she needed to, eliciting a smile from yours truly.

She ended her speech by telling him to never fucking touch her and I had to say, "Nicely done, Swan."

Jake and I put our guns away, knowing Newton really wasn't much of a threat anymore anyway, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the murderer sitting a few feet away from me as Bella got herself out of the boat and wrapped herself around me.

I held the fuck onto her, breathed her in, feeling like it was the last time I'd be doing it and when she kissed me, I felt a pain in my chest I couldn't quite fucking begin to describe.

Opportunity wasn't gonna get away from me again, though, and I was quite goddamn focused on the task that needed to be handled, pulling Bella's soft lips away from mine, and her sweet hands from around my neck, I watched Newton, daring him to make a move.

Then Bella seemed to catch on to my mood and asked how long we'd been there. I told her, "Long enough."

She knew me well enough to know I wanted to hurt him, although, I'm not sure if she knew just exactly how far I wanted to take that hurt, and she made a plea for me to stop thinking that way.

I knew she wouldn't leave it alone 'till I subsided, so when she made her attempt to convince me that he'd go to jail and pay, I conceded to her, because I'd already concocted a plan in my head.

As we were leaving the boat house, I pretended to lose my balance, bumping into Jake and lifting his gun out of his holster.

I'd lifted a few things off of people before, I was good at it, and neither Bella nor Jake noticed as we all kept moving long the dry dock to exit the small enclosure.

Resolved that this would be the last time I'd see Bella's face reflecting the love for me, I took her in one last time as she stepped through the threshold after Jake and turned to me to help with Newton.

She couldn't possibly be able to feel the same for someone who could do what I was about to do to him.

I told her I was sorry for what I was about to do, then closed and locked the door behind her.

The look on Bella's face as the door shut confirmed my theory. She knew I wouldn't be coming back to her as the man I'd been just the day before.

"Cullen!" she screamed through the door, banging desperately. "EDWARD! Don't do this!"

I put a hand up against the wooden aperture, listening to her voice, she was crying and I almost couldn't take it.

"_Please_ Edward…don't do this." She pleaded, and I heard Jake telling her he'd get something to bust the door down with. "He'll go to jail! He'll pay, I promise!"

Jail maybe, but pay for what he did? Taking an innocent life like Jess's out of this world? I don't fucking think so.

I took a deep breath of air before I turned around and smirked at Newton and he swallowed, then made a lame attempt at smiling back at me.

Fucking SMILING.

But I cut the douche a break, because he clearly knew what the fuck was coming for him. "Cullen, y…you know, this was all Aro's doing…I'll testify, anything you want."

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, ladies and gentlemen.

_Fucking...Pussy._

I fingered the key ring on his belt and lifted it, then I pretty fucking quickly found the one that matched his cuffs and turned him around to unlock them, rubbing his wrists after I removed each one.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" I asked him. "Funny how a little fucking piece of shit metal can cause that much pain."

I threw the cuffs and the key ring into the water and Newton watched them descend into the blackness, then turned his body some and looked up at me.

"You fucking killed Jess, Mike."

Sweat was beading up on his forehead, dripping and mixing with the blood and I could literally smell the fear on him. He shook his head, frantically. "No, no I…I just did what Aro said, if I hadn't he'd have killed me."

"No, Mike," I reprimanded him like the fucking baby he was, then prepared to repeat back to him what he'd told Swan just a few minutes before.

She was still banging on the door, yelling for Jake to hurry up and part of me wished I could do as she asked. Just, stop, put him in a jail cell and let him rot for the rest of his life.

But I knew how the system worked.

He'd do some time, but Newton had connections and a boat load of bullshit that he'd hand the District Attorney about how "they made him do it". He'd be a good little golden boy and get out in maybe one, possibly two fucking years based on that good goddamn behavior.

That wasn't enough time to pay for what he'd done. What he'd taken from me, Em, Jess's parents, the world.

"_You_ said you tried to talk her out of turning you in, that she wouldn't _listen_…" I scowled. "What did you call her? _Stubborn_."

I put my hand around his neck and slammed his ugly ass head up against the wall, choking his sorry excuse for a human being's air supply off and I vaguely heard Swan screaming as he coughed and sputtered and begged for his life not to end.

"Edward!" Bella screamed and I could hear the tears in her voice again. It made my chest hurt, but not as much as when she said, "I love you!"

That made me think about what they'd forced her to do that night, what they'd been pulling over the past month with the Ferrari, the death threats, the bombing, the guns…

I punched Mike hard and his lip bled but it wasn't enough.

He tried to grab my hands and block the next blow to his temple but that shit was fruitless.

"Call Emmett, Jake! Hurry!" Bella yelled to Jake again, and then back to me. "_EDWARD_!"

The door was giving in to her kicks and thrusts and off in the back of my mind I wondered what in the hell she was doing to that door and was proud as fuck that she'd had the power to knock that shit down, but I still had some time.

"Cullen," Newton gurgled through a bloodied face and mangled hands and I kneed him in the gut to shut his ass up. "Please," he said.

I stood him up straight again, pulled my Colt out and asked him, "Is that what she said to you, Newton? Did Jess _BEG_ you not to kill her!"

I placed the barrel up under his chin, so it wouldn't miss his practically non-existent fucking brain.

"Don't…have to do this…" he sputtered. "Don't you have some kinda…_code_ about killing an un-armed man?"

He was making his final arguments, like the fucking coward that he was…but the truly sad part of that situation was that he actually had a point.

Bella's voice was becoming defeated, and with influence that only she could have had, I heard her begging, "Edward! PLEASE, I LOVE YOU DON'T DO THIS! Don't do it to _US_! _PLEASE_!"

I was squeezing the last little tid bit of life out of Mike, but when she'd said that shit, begging me not to ruin 'us'…it did something, and I just…stopped.

I'd never really had an 'us'. Never thought I'd be able to feel the way I felt about Swan…_Bella_. I somehow managed to realize, now that I'd had it, and hearing her plead for it, I didn't wanna lose it.

I let go of Newton and just sat there staring at the wall, glad as hell that there wasn't a mirror something there to reflect back at me a man who had just almost taken the life of someone for no other reason that pure revenge.

That wasn't who I was.

_Not exactly anyway._

As Newton fell to the floor of the dry dock, choking and spitting blood, he was whispering, to himself, or god, or hell, maybe me, "Thank you..."

"You're right Newton," I said to him, pulling Jake's gun out of my pocket, dropping it down onto the floor next to him. "I couldn't kill an un-armed man without dealing with guilt for the rest of my fucking life. No matter what you did."

More banging on the door. "Edward?"

"All you gotta do is pick it up," I told him.

He reached for his throat, rubbing where I'd been choking him, but didn't make a move for the gun, he just looked at it like, I dunno, like it was the fucking plague or something.

I crouched down beside him, talking calmly, like we were just two buddies hanging out, getting' ready to go fucking fishing together or somethin'. "Just...pick it up, Newton, you've got one shot, buddy."

I nudged the gun a little closer to him. "Go for it," I whispered to him.

_Please fucking pick it up._

He didn't give me my wish though, Newton just plopped his ass further down into the floor of the boat house, giving in to what I could only imagine was disgust with himself for being such a fucking asshole.

"I shoulda figured as much," I said to him, then I stood up and kicked the gun away from him, partially glad he hadn't grabbed it, partially disappointed.

The boat house door swung open hard and I looked over to see Jake standing there with a piece of log or something in his hands that he'd finally fucking found outside somewhere, breathing hard and checking out the situation with a good cop's eyes.

We stared at each other for only the briefest of moments before Bella ran in and stopped short, looking around, taking in the sight of Newton and I there and she sighed in relief that one of us wasn't dead.

Her eyes closed and her shoulders slumped as she walked over to me and just held me and I swear, all I could do was fucking kiss the top of her head and she whispered, "Thank you."

"I love you," I told her, holding on to her for dear goddamn life, refusing to let go as I watched Jake, watching Newton.

I closed my eyes, biting back the flawless fucking pain of the meaning of those words as she said them back to me.

"I love you too, Edward. So much."

"Is uh…everything okay in here, Edward?" Jake asked and I opened my eyes back up to look at him. "S'all good, Jake, he's not goin' anywhere."

Sirens sounded from outside and I stiffened a little.

Bella knew what was coming next like she could read my mind and she told me, "Jake called Emmett, they'll take care of _him_."

She nodded at Newton, not even willing to say his name again. Then she looked into my eyes and said, "I am so sorry for what happened to Jess, Edward, I'm so sorry."

Her eyes were red from crying, and I put my hands on either side of her face, wiping the wetness away with my thumbs as she squeezed my sides with her tiny fucking, perfect hands and the lump in my throat wouldn't allow me to talk, but I nodded as we walked out of the boat house together.

I didn't look back again at Newton until we were walking up the hill with Jake toward Emmett, who was making his way down. Seth was standing at the top of the hill waving and I just had to laugh at the kid.

Even in the worst of fucking times, he just couldn't wipe the smile off of his face.

And I gotta fuckin' say, I was never so glad to see my brother in all my life.

Except that one time when we were in middle school and some guys who'd been bullying me cornered me after the end of school and were about to beat the shit out of me. When Emmett showed up, not one of those motherfuckers left unscathed.

But I digress.

I kinda half smiled at him when his expression changed and I saw him go to reach for his holster.

Part of me wondered what the fuck he was up to, when I heard Newton screaming from in back of Bella, Jake and I, and I turned to see him pointing Jake's gun at us.

He'd taken the bait after all.

He was yelling something incoherent and I instinctively put an arm in front of Bella, pushing her behind me as my other hand reached for my Colt, pointed it and shot at him.

I emptied the clip without even thinking and he mighta got a shot off, I don't know, but after that, his hand flew up into the air, shooting straight up at the sky while his body filled with bullet holes and was thrown backwards into the water off of the dock he'd been standing on.

"What an idiot," Jake said under his breath and I wondered if somehow, he'd known what I'd done.

I mean he hadn't even asked about his gun down at the dock.

I started to laugh at that, thinking Jake wasn't such an asshole after all, when I realized, something felt…wrong.

Very wrong.

"Ow," I mumbled and I heard people talking all around me, like echos, as I turned to see Bella's face looking at me with something a little too much like horror for my liking and she said "Edward…shit!" Then she turned and called out, "Emmett!"

I was laughing at her, because seriously, what the fuck would she be saying that for? And why did she need Em?

Then I saw the blood.

"Bella," I said and my legs gave out on me.

I remember thinking what a fucking pussy I was for feeling like I wanted to faint at the sight of blood, but the fact that it was Bella's blood, just made me wanna puke.

Emmett was screaming into his walkie, "Ambulance, Arrow Shipping docks, STAT!" and I kept thinking, shit, is she alright? Did Newton fucking shoot her? Because I'd go kill his ass again if he had, but _she_ was holding _me_, which was really fucking odd, if ya ask me.

My head was in her lap and she was brushing the hair out of my fucking face.

"What?" I started to ask something, coughing a little. "What the fuck is…"

"Shhhhhh," she said, and a tear drop fell onto my face. "You're gonna be okay, Edward."

_I'm _gonna be okay?

_What the fuck?_

"Swan," I said, swallowing hard, reaching for her hand. "I wasn't gonna shoot your ass…" I started trying to tell her all of a sudden… "I couldn't…" I coughed again and my chest hurt.

"Shut up, Edward," she told me, bawling her eyes out, now. "Just shut up." She kissed my forehead and looked up at Jake who was looking down at me with sympathy written all over his face and I wanted to clock his ass for looking at me like that.

I mean what the fuck was his problem?

I wanted to put my hand over my heart it hurt so bad, seeing the look in Swan's eyes like that.

It was quite goddamn pro-fucking-found to me that all the pain I'd felt over the course of the entire night could have felt that real all of a fucking sudden.

Red and blue lights lit up the hill and I remember Em saying something about calling mom and dad but I was so fucking tired.

I wanted to say something, like how stupid it was that I was falling asleep, or passing out, one of those, in the middle of a goddamn crime scene, but every time I tried to talk, it just hurt.

I wasn't tired though, I knew at least that much, so that shit didn't make sense…I was just…fucking freezing, and I was shaking, and Bella just kept rocking me in her lap, saying something about staying still…eventually it all just kinda started sounding muffled.

Then none of that shit really mattered anyway, because things became steadily dark and I didn't hear anyone or anything anymore, just, _silence._

The last thing I remember thinking was hell, I actually _could _use a nap right about now.


	28. Here's Lookin' at You, Kid

**Chapter 27 ~ "Here's Lookin' at You, Kid"**

* * *

**CULLEN**

_"Why would you do that, Jess? And with that fucking ASSHOLE, to boot?"_

_She was bawling her ass off and I just wanted her to shut the fuck up and answer me, but I sat on the bed and put an arm around her, waiting for her to come around in her own time._

_Emmett was standing at the door, eyeballin' me with the same anger I was feeling for the dick Sergeant that had been feeling Jess up and more in his office just a little while before._

_"You'll be lucky if they don't throw you out, Edward," he told me, but I didn't give a flying FUCK about those ass-tards anymore. The more I was at that goddamn Academy, the more corruptness I saw, and wanted to spit every fucking time I had to show an ounce of respect toward any of them._

_"You…shouldn't have…hit…him…" Jess was hiccupping through the tears and I just pulled her tighter against me. _

_"He shouldn't have been touching you like that," I retorted._

_"You'll…get…released…" she choked out at me._

_"Who gives a shit, Jess," I half laughed at her for sayin' that shit. As far as I was concerned, I'd have been a hundred times better off if they HAD thrown me out._

_"Talk to me."_

_She looked over at Em, who took the hint. "I'll catch up with ya later, Edward, see ya, Jess," he said and then left, closing the door behind him._

_I turned Jess's body so she was face to face with me._

_"What the fuck were you thinking?"_

_She wiped her eyes and tried to steady her breathing so she wouldn't sound like a fucking idiot while she talked._

_"Newton's been…" she pursed her lips. "Really persistent lately, he kinda freaks me out…and I knew the Sergeant hated him, has it out for him…so I figured if I…" she shook her head and looked down at her hands that were all twisted together… "It was a stupid idea."_

_I stopped her hands from fidgeting. "No goddamn shit it was a stupid idea, Jess…why the fuck didn't you just tell me or Em? We could've taken care of…"_

_She looked up at me, grimacing. "That's exactly why, Edward…you and Emmett are always there, but you won't always be…what if we get assigned to different precincts? Are you gonna leave your shift every time someone's messing with me?"_

_I didn't know what to say to that, but the truth was, I would have, if it meant puttin' a hurt on someone that was fucking with my best friend._

_She kept talking, ignoring the look on my face. "I need to learn to handle people like Newton all by myself, Edward, in my own way…I made the decision." She thought about her next words carefully. _

_"It might have been a big mistake…it WAS a big mistake…but it was MY mistake to make."_

_She patted my head like I was fucking puppy dog and then smoothed out the crease in my forehead and finished with, "And you're just gonna have to learn to live with my mistakes."_

"And are you?"

"What?" I turned my head to look at her as her words pulled me back to the present.

I'd been staring out of the window after my rant about Jess, imagining Swan's face the last time I'd seen it. She had been crying, and telling me I'd be okay.

"Are you learning to live with her mistakes?"

Tanya was patient with me that day, she knew how hard this opening up shit was for someone like me.

According to court documents, I'd had one last psychotherapy session to attend and she seemed impressed with the amount of "healing" I'd done since our last meeting.

She had no goddamn idea, my friends.

"Maybe," I answered her honestly, or at least, hopefully as I scratched at the stubble on my face.

I hadn't shaved in days - since I'd woken up in the hospital about four days earlier, actually.

I hadn't really felt the need to.

I hadn't really felt the need to do much of anything.

Except attend this fucking therapy session, for some reason.

"Does it make you happy or sad, knowing she wasn't driving that car around, following you, after all?"

_Jesus, fuck, with the questions._

This had been the longest goddamn hour of my life.

I'd gone there hoping to figure some shit out.

I'd been a good boy, shared pretty much everything that had happened over the previous month or so.

Almost everything anyway, there was still a boat load of shit I was trying to work through for myself, like the fact that Swan had gone back to Forks motherfucking Washington while I was out cold in a hospital bed and I hadn't heard from her in days.

I took a nice deep breath in before answering Tanya's question. I'd gone over and over how it had made me feel in my head, I just hadn't let it sink into my heart yet.

"I guess if I have to be anything, I'm glad it wasn't her," I started, dragging the only currently usable hand that I had through my hair. The other one hung in a sling at my side, limp from the wound in my shoulder. "At least it means she wasn't a bad cop."

_Or being manipulated._

Tanya nodded, allowing me to continue if I wanted to, and hell if I couldn't manage to keep myself from having some serious diarrhea of the mouth.

I looked back out of her window, to the busy streets below, filled with people who were completely fucking content with their lives, unaware of the hell others were living in order to let them stay content with their lives.

"Doesn't really matter, either way, they just wanted to screw with me, and that's exactly what they got to do."

"Does that make you feel as if you've failed, somehow?"

"Yes…no, I don't fucking know, Tanya. In the end, that James dick got away, Aro is MIA and…Fuck." My arm was flailing, never a good sign.

I couldn't even form a complete thought, not knowing or understanding why Swan had left, when she was coming back...shit, IF she was coming back.

All I really knew was that she'd been at the hospital, but then according to Alice, Jake had pulled her aside at some point and they'd left together, then she dropped by my parents place the next day with Pup, telling them she'd found him outside my old apartment and that he was mine, but that she had to go home.

She didn't leave word with anyone as to why the _fuck_ she was leaving and every time I'd tried to call her, I either got goddamn voice mail or she would answer, but there was all kinds of shit going on in the background and she'd cut me off short to say she had to go.

I did receive one obligatory, _very_ cryptic goddamn text from her though, the night before my meeting with Tanya, saying, "_Have news, will talk."_

To which I thought, well _bully_ for _fucking_ me, because I could use some goddamn news.

There wasn't enough goddamn news going around in my opinion.

Am I right?

Anyway, Tanya picked up on the feelings I was seething with and added a few thoughts of her own.

"The mayor is put away, that's a good thing," she started, quietly. "and the man that tried to take your life, and had taken Jessica's, is dead. You've made some very good things happen, Edward."

Right.

_Newton._

The official police reports stated that Newton had somehow lifted Jake's gun off of him in the boat house, and then proceeded to attempt to murder me as the three of us left the after apprehending his sorry ass, leaving yours truly with the pretty little gunshot wound in the side of my chest.

Only Emmett seemed keen on what had probably _actually _happened.

Not that I'd planned on admitting that shit to my brother, but he didn't seem too upset about one less dick twat being in the world at least.

"Yeah, that's somethin'," I said to her, not quite looking her in the eyes.

She could smell a lie. I swear to god.

After we'd talked through a few more things and she gave me some shit to think about, I asked her, "So, I'm done?"

She put one of her perfectly sharpened pencil army grunts up to her chin, thinking.

"I think, Edward, that only you know the answer to that, but as far as you and I are concerned, yes, I think you've come a long way since we started seeing each other."

The woman actually fucking smirked at her own little joke and I had to smile back at her.

I bet she was a hell kitten in the sack.

She signed my court papers for me with her stamp of approval and had her administrative assistant notarize them for me.

"If you decide you need to talk in the future, Mr. Cullen," she started to hand me her card and I put a hand up to stop her from even thinking that crazy ass fuckery. "Thanks but, no fucking thanks, Tanya."

I winked at her though, she was alright.

I left her building cursing Jake and wanting a goddamn shot of Patron, bad, but I didn't have time to dwell on either thing.

Later that morning, my family attended a ceremony, downtown, that Lieutenant Muldoon had put together, where he announced Emmett's latest promotion and called me an official city's hero or some shit like that for my part in taking down a corrupted mayor and a drug slash illegal arms ring within the city.

I was awarded a medal that Emmett pinned me with and the good old Washington DC Metro PD offered me a job in the precinct that I promptly told them to go fuck themselves with.

What?

Like I wanted to take orders from my brother.

In the end, though, Muldoon and I agreed to try really goddamn hard not to hate each other quite so much and I tossed the medal into a box at my office that would probably be put somewhere 'safe' and forgotten about until my kid's kids found it one day while they were playing hide and go break a bunch of shit…then they'd proceed to sit around and talk about how their good old grandpa used to kick some serious ass back in his day.

Not that I'd be having kids or anything. I mean Jesus, look how I'd handled Seth, and he wasn't even MINE.

But I digress.

After that debacle of celebrafuckery, my parents took us all out to lunch where Emmett and I told some old stories about Jess to Alice, Rose, Jasper, mom and dad and whenever Jess's name passed my lips, I noticed that even though there was still a small pang in my chest, I didn't quite feel that over powering need to hit something anymore and I saw that as step one of "being done".

Lunch was nice and I found myself doing a whole hell of a lot of laughing, which, to be completely fucking honest, felt really good, but none of it seemed _quite_ right without Swan there.

Which made me a melancholy motherfucker.

"I'm sure she'll call soon, Edward," Alice said to me when she noticed the shitty look on my face as she hugged my goodbye.

"Yeah," was all I could muster and then she kissed my cheek and left with Jazz.

After I'd said all of my goodbyes and had made sure to thank the Jazzman and Rose for all the help they'd selflessly given throughout the whole bullshit fuckery that had gone on, I left to go be the fuck alone in the new rental that I'd managed to find fairly quickly that week, with the help of Alice of course.

'Cause there was no fucking way I was gonna stay at my parent's any longer than was at all goddamn necessary.

It was a one story house in the burbs of Annapolis.

What?

Pup needed room to fucking run around in, didn't he?

And anyway, I figured I could consolidate some shit in my life and make one of the rooms my new office.

No muss, no fuss.

Right?

I was taking shit out of one of the last boxes I needed to empty, as best I could anyway with a bum arm, thinking about how I used to actually be happy to get the hell home and have some peace and fucking quiet, but that night, it just felt, shit, I dunno, fucked.

Pup was whining about some shit and I picked up one of the chew toys I'd bought him and threw it out into the hallway.

He ignored it and just stared at my ass.

"You're the only one that got an improved situation out of this whole thing, buddy, you should be happy," I told him when he just stared at me instead of chasing the toy.

"What? I'm not calling her again," I said and he just growled and trotted off.

Probably to go get the fucking phone for me.

I was completely irritated as fuck that I still hadn't heard from Swan when there was a familiar shuffling of small feet in the hallway, stopping at the entrance of the door.

_Not Pup, that's for fucking sure._

My hand stopped putting the book I'd taken out of it's box to put on one of the shelves behind my desk as my heart rate picked up and I felt small pricks of electric currents run up my spine, hitting the hairs on the back of my neck, feeling the presence there.

My Colt was sitting about a foot away from me, and I eyed it, but I wouldn't be needing it.

I smiled to myself.

"I'm gonna have to do something about the availability of pick proof locks in this fucking city," I said without turning around, going back to taking another book out of the box to put up onto the shelf next to the others.

"Wow, you…got a house," she said, impressed, like she hadn't been away for a week, or longer, hell I didn't know at that point.

I guess I shoulda been pissed or something, but really, I was just goddamn glad to hear her voice, live, in the same vicinity as me.

Right where she fucking belonged.

Not that I wasn't gonna give her shit about it.

"Ya know," I said, turning to face her finally.

She kinda fucking took my breath away, if I'm being honest here.

_Goddamn perfection at its finest._

I pushed away the urge to immediately go to her, gained my fucking composure and started in on her.

"T_ypically_, when someone _leaves_ another someone that they supposedly fucking _love_, that someone might wanna, oh, I don't know, fucking _explain_ why they're leaving."

She didn't answer and I started to wonder if maybe she'd come back to say goodbye or some crazy ass shit like that.

Then she spoke, finally.

"I had some things to take care of."

She was trying not to smile and that made me breathe a little easier to tell ya the truth. I'd already made a mental note as to where the rope was hanging in the garage so that I could tie her ass to the bed if she'd tried to take off again.

Not that I was worried or anything.

"Things," I said, walking over to her.

"Yeah, turns out, the Clearwaters are Seth's parents after all," she explained, and I didn't know if I was happy or pissed at that news.

"Hmm."

"Yeah, so Jake and I took him back to Forks to get all of the legal documents taken care of."

She saw the look on my face, wondering why the fuck that would require HER to go, and she kept talking. "I figured Seth would be a little more comfortable with the whole thing if a familiar face was there to help him through it…and you were…"

She trailed off and I got it.

And loved her about a hundred times more than I thought was even fucking possible for doing that shit for the kid.

I was trying to figure out just exactly how I felt about not getting to see him again, you know, to rip him a new one for stowing away in Emmett's cruiser that night everything went down, when she interrupted my thoughts.

"The problem with the whole situation of course, is that Seth truly didn't feel great about moving to a new city…"

Okay, she'd gotten my attention.

I suddenly felt like Swan had a little somethin' up her sleeve.

"And the Clearwaters didn't want to drag him away from a place he considered home, regardless of the circumstances that surrounded his upbringing…"

I crossed my arms at her and scowled. "Uh huh."

She stifled a smile. "So they plan to sell their place out in Port Angeles, and move over here…"

_Seriously?_

"Really."

"Uh huh...Only Seth doesn't have a place to _stay_, obviously…" she goaded.

"Well, he could stay here, shit," I blurted out before even fucking thinking.

That's when Swan finally gave into her lips and let them ease into a full blown grin and said, "I was hoping you'd say that."

"Swan, what the fuck are you…"

That's when Seth walked in to stand behind her, smiling his big goofy ass smile at me and said, "Hey, Edward."

I had to admit, I wasn't pissed, or annoyed, or…shit, anything like that at his ass.

I was reeling from the fact that not only was Swan back where she needed to be and that Seth wasn't gonna move across the goddamn country, because no matter how big of a pain in the ass he was, he was my goddamn pain in the ass.

Later that night, after a home cooked meal by Swan that she'd graced us with after a run to the grocery store, some Wii on the replacement TV Emmett had helped me purchase and move in, and some late night movie watching, I showed Seth where he'd be sleeping.

"Thanks, Edward," he said when I started to leave his room.

"Ditto, kid," I told him, both of us knowing just exactly what the fuck I had to be thankful to him for and he smiled then jumped into his bed like it was made of goddamn gold or something.

I found Swan sitting on the living room couch and took her hand in mine, then guided her sexy ass back to the new master motherfucking bedroom, complete with California King sized bed, and…well that's really all we'd be needing, I guess.

And just when I thought I was finally gonna get to welcome her the hell home and fuck the shit out of her, she started in on me about the bullshit that had gone down with Newton.

Because she just didn't know how the fuck to let something get swept under the goddamn rug.

"Seriously, Cullen," she said, a little miffed with me, putting her hand on her hip and even with that simple goddamn gesture, Eddy Jr. was growing impatient with my ass. "You have _got_ to be the biggest idiot jerk I've ever met in my entire _life_."

Okay, so it turned out, she _had_ pieced things together. Although, why I'd even considered that she wouldn't, I have no idea.

"It was a means to an end, Swan, settle down."

"You could have died, Edward," she lectured. "What if he'd had better AIM? And what the hell were you _thinking_, anyway?"

I'd prepared for this talk on some level. "I guess I was thinking he'd pick it up and put himself out of everyone's fucking misery," I told her and she just shook her head at me in mock disappointment.

Lame, I know.

"Uh huh."

I smiled innocently.

What?

"You're lucky it was just your shoulder he managed to hit, and not some major organ or something."

"Lucky Jake's gun is a piece of shit, ya mean," I retorted, laughing, and that time, I got the eye roll from her.

I looked at the wound that was bandaged up still and then smirked at my sexy little co-hort, getting ready to begin _operation distract The Swan_. "You think it's hot, don't you?" I teased her, poking her in her ribs a little with the hand that still worked properly.

She couldn't help herself from letting out a tiny shred of laughter, she knew I was fucking right.

"Stop it," she said with a very shotty fucking attempt at trying to be angry.

"You wanna do the wounded guy, don't ya, Swan?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she slapped me, luckily in the OTHER arm.

I laughed at her and then pulled her into me, kissing the motherfuck out of her as I closed the door to the bedroom.

_Our bedroom._

That kiss was over goddamn due, if ya ask me.

"I'm still really pissed at you," she announced, pushing herself away from me a little bit.

_Just a little though._

"Pissed…at me?" I asked in mock shock at her ass, inching her backwards toward the bed.

"You pointed a _gun_ at me," she retorted, but there was a tad bit of playfulness in her voice.

_But seriously?_

"You've pointed TWO guns at me, if we're counting," I shot back.

"You almost pulled the trigger, I NEVER got that far," she insisted. But the truth was, even when I thought for that short few seconds that it was her, I couldn't have pulled that trigger if my life had depended on it.

Ironically, it had.

"You claimed to be my nemesis, for Christ's sake," I teased as she was butt up against the bed finally, I hovered over her menacingly.

It was over, I could jest…and besides, Jess was right, her going to Arrow Shipping that night had been a horrible, horrible mistake, but it was hers to make, and I couldn't spend the rest of my life with Swan feeling guilty over not going with her.

I mighta died right along with her for all I knew, although that was highly doubtful considering Newton was heading up that operation, but ya never know.

And if I'd have died, that woulda meant Swan may never have known the beauty of a good pussy lickin'.

And that's just wrong on oh-so many different fucking levels.

In my humble motherfucking opinion, that is.

"They were going to kill, you Edward," she started out a little sad with that one, "I don't know what I would have done if…" I thought she was gonna fucking cry again, but then she had a second wind of some sort, jetted her chin out at me, in that oh so, pain in the ass, yet sexy kinda way she always did.

"But anyway, you should have known better."

I leaned down and kissed her neck. "Known better…I _was _on drugs, ya know," I said into her ear.

This is where we'd see if that excuse held up or not.

I didn't wanna take the chance though. "And for the record, I'm only one more official gun pointing away before we're fucking even, Swan…in case you've forgotten." I pulled back and cocked an eyebrow at her.

She bit her lip and scrunched her nose up at me, speechless.

_Fucking finally._

I kissed her again, just in case she was getting anymore ideas of shit to say, and because Eddy Jr. wanted her to shut the fuck up too.

"Cullen…" she hesitantly against my lips.

"MMmmm," I moaned into her mouth, fisting her waist with my good arm. I wasn't even gonna give her a hard goddamn time about the name, I kinda fucking liked it when she called me 'Cullen' anyway.

It was just the principal of the fucking thing.

"Swan," I told her in between our lips meeting up with each other. "You're doing it again," I said and she let herself fall back onto the bed.

I got onto my knees above her then, and she asked me, "Doing what?" while her lips trailed along my jaw, to my neck, her hands were…

Fuck, her hands felt good.

"You're disrespecting the diplomacy of the bedroom."

I could feel her smile against my skin and it made me wanna throw her up against a wall.

Except I couldn't exactly do that with a bum arm.

I bit her neck and she scooched out from under me.

"Edward! What the hell…?" she giggled and I started to go tickle her ass as I followed her up the bed, until she was up against the head board.

She grabbed at the comforter and pulled it around her like she was protecting herself from something.

I laughed at that shit, 'cause there was just no escaping my ass for her.

I looked her in the eyes as I settled myself in front of her, lifted the comforter from her hands and said, "You see this bed, Swan?"

She nodded and even though I knew the shit I was about to spew was about as goddamn cocky and cave man as anyone could get, I really didn't give a flying fuck, because I needed her to know what she did to me on every level of existence that I was in at the moment.

"Mine…" I told her, kissing her hand softly, then I leaned in a little. "See those pillows?" I eyed them.

She looked down, then back at me and nodded again, smiling.

"Also mine…" I said into her ear. "And do you see the woman sitting on the referred to bed, up against said motherfucking pillows?"

She swallowed and her mouth fell open a little, making me wanna take that bottom goddamn lip of hers and suck on it till it was all swollen and red.

"Motherfucking mine. Is that clear?"

She nodded again and I ended with, "So when I say you're disrespecting the goddamn bedroom…" I leaned in and kissed her. "I'm referring to any fucking bedroom that we've previously…" I kissed her neck, moving along it to the ear, where she liked it. "Currently…" I sucked on her earlobe a little, then bit it. "Or futuristically plan to _fuck_ in…got it?" I rasped into her ear, and she breathed in, closing her eyes, and shit if I didn't love the fact that the blush was back.

"Now," I continued. "If you don't goddamn mind helping me get this fucking shirt off, and these pants, I'd like to do to you what I've been wanting to since the last motherfucking time I did it."

Then she laughed, and obliged me by un-buttoning my shirt while tugging at the sweats I had on, telling me, "You know that goes both ways, right, _Edward_?"

The seduction was dripping from her words and I knew what she wanted to hear, but fuck if I wasn't gonna make her work for it.

I _was_ still a dick, after all, despite the undying, completely desperate fucking love I felt for her.

"I'm sure I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, Swan," I teased.

"This body…" she raked her hands down my torso, making goose fucking bumps appear. "You're no longer allowed to put it in jeopardy…" she looked at me then, and said, "It's mine."

"Point taken," I said, loving the fucking way it sounded to hear her say I was hers.

Once she'd gotten my clothes off, and was working on hers, she leaned me onto my back, straddling my waist, taking my good wrist into her hand and she rubbed the scars that were still there from the hand cuffs Newton had put on me a few days before.

She pulled the wrist up to her mouth and kissed it, then her face fell a little.

"I thought I would die, thinking I might have lost you after I'd just found you," she said softly, and the weight of her words really hit home for me.

"Me too," I simply said, twisting her hand around and into mine, linking our fingers together, pulling her down for yet another kiss, because I just couldn't fucking get enough of those.

Never would.

She lifted her tiny hips and took her hand in between us, stroking me and fuck if those fingers didn't feel like silk against my dick like that.

She slowly lowered herself then, sliding down onto me with her wet, hot juices surrounding every inch of Eddy Jr., deliberately, sensually, with emotions I felt like nothing I'd ever experienced in my entire fucking life.

"Say it," she whispered and I told her, "why, you're already fucking me."

I chuckled at my own mocking, but ceased that fuckery when she lifted herself back off of me and I immediately fucking regretted saying that shit.

However, I always have and always will be, the comeback motherfuckin' kid, so I grazed her side, moving my hand deliberately up to her breast and thumbed her nipple, making her eyes roll back into her head, and I said, "Bella," as I pinched her nipple, causing her to arch her back into my hand for more.

After that, she didn't remove herself again.

Inside of my head, I heard Jess laughing her ass off at me, remembering how she'd told me a long goddamn time ago, that she felt sorry for whoever I ended up falling in love with.

I finally under-fucking-stood just exactly what the hell she'd been talking about that night in her dorm room.

I guess, in a way, I kinda felt sorry for Swan too, because she was never leaving my fucking sight.

_Again._

Like, fucking _ever_.

As we made love to each other that night, I told her as much, and she just rolled her eyes at me, patronizing my ass, but I assured her there was no fucking way she was gonna work on her own ever again if I could help it.

"I thought you didn't like partners," she teased.

"I think I can somehow make an exception just this once," I shot back.

"I can take care of myself," she informed me, extremely fucking defiantly, as I pulled her hips against my dick, pushing up into her to hit the spot that would make her moan.

And she did.

"Clearly," I said. "But maybe that's not it…" I told her, rolling her hard, making me feel shit inside that had nothing to do with a goddamn orgasm. "Maybe I'm the one that needs you."

And when I said that, I knew it was true, on a whole lot more different planes than just the physical kind.

Bella smiled and squirmed and bent down, grinding herself against me, making both of us sigh with lots of arousing little sex noises, managing to somehow tell me, "Bet your ass you need me."

"I need you to stop being such a stubborn ass, though," I said, mocking her tough girl routine again.

"I'll stop being stubborn," she started, reaching behind herself to caress my balls with her very fucking talented hands, making me buck into her hard and groan, "Fuck," as she did it and I actually enjoyed the fact that she held that kind of fucking control over me.

"If you stop insisting on being the lone ranger all the time."

"Riiiight," I told her, half in ecstasy from the feel of her hands on me like that, half in a way of avoiding that last demand.

"Can you sit up?" she asked me and I figured hell, even if I couldn't, I was doin' it, 'cause what this woman wanted from me, she was fucking gonna get.

I pushed through the pain in my shoulder as I lifted myself up and held onto her so I wouldn't fall the fuck back, putting my mouth on her nipple as I did it, 'cause I missed that little fucker.

Then I dipped in between her breasts and licked and kissed and nibble lightly between them, working my way up to her collarbone while she rolled her hips against me, allowing Eddy Jr. to delve deeper and deeper with every goddamn thrust she made.

"Jesus fuck, Swan…" I started, then corrected myself, because I just liked hearing her fucking name roll off of my lips, "Bella," I whispered, kissing along her neck and shoulder, lingering there in my favorite spot.

She pulled back and felt her walls tightening when she did it, the look in her eyes confirming she was indeed about to cum and she pushed herself down onto me harder than ever, using her hands against my shoulder and even though I had to bite my goddamn lip from the pain that was causing, I let her finish.

I could feel my dick hit her g-spot as she made herself cum hard, looking me right in the fucking eyes as she did it, and she whispered out, sexy as fuck, "I love you." Practically in fucking tears as she said it.

I came right behind her because, shit, if I've said it once, I'll say it a million goddamn times, my friend, hearing a woman cum will throw a man into oblivion like you wouldn't believe.

But hearing the Swan cum while she's telling me she loves my sorry ass? It was like angels and devils and demons and guardians singing all at the same goddamn time, and I wanted to hear that shit for the rest of my fucking life.

"Fuck," I groaned. "I love you, Swan."

Hell if I didn't love saying that shit to her and I planned on saying it, a lot.

"I'll always love you," she choked out, kissing along my shoulder, "Always…" then she added, 'cause she just couldn't help herself, "Even if you are a dick."

I laughed at that, 'cause hell, even I could admit I was a dick, and why she loved me, I had no goddamn clue, but I was glad she did.

When we were both done coming down off of the high, I let myself fall back onto the bed and she lay on my chest drawing circles there, kissing me with her perfect lips and I played with her hair, taking in a nice long, deep breath as I did it, thinking about how I couldn't wait to get that goddamn sling off of my arm 'cause there was some serious motherfucking wall sex waiting to be had.

When Seth wasn't around that is.

I'm not a goddamn pervert, ya know.

As Bella fell asleep in my arms, where she fucking belonged, I just breathed her in, held her, was thankful for her.

I didn't give a mother fuck about Aro Voturi getting away, or James's possible return, or Newton being…well, Newton…he was gone now anyway, and something I forgot to mention early, is that according to police reports, it had been just as much Emmett's bullets that had killed that asshole as it was mine, which gave me even more sense of a bond with my brother, being that he deserved to get to kill that ass twat just as much as I had.

For Jess.

They'd told me that with all the witnesses to what had happened, no one was being charged with that murder, despite my idiocy of leaving Jake's gun in the boat house with him.

But I knew better about the idiocy, and the way it worked out, worked for me.

If taking a single bullet in the shoulder from a no aim, shit shot of a fuck head like Newton meant he wouldn't be gracing us with his presence anymore, fine by me.

I was the happiest I'd been in…hell, in EVER when I really thought about it…and I was completely content just laying there with Bella in the middle of a messy ass house, with a rambunctious goddamn teenager sleeping down the hall, a dog that liked to lick my ears, having a brother that was over protective, a sister that liked to dress me up like the latest Ken doll…and shit, I even was a little grateful about having a dad who pushed me to do shit I didn't wanna fucking do anymore.

They were all alive and well and fucking annoying as hell sometimes, but fuck if I wouldn't lay down my life for every goddamn one of 'em.

Hopefully I wouldn't have to do that again for a while though.

At least until this near death experience had passed.

The good news was, there was absolutely nothing on my plate for the next few days, except loving the Swan, and fucking her brains out.

And I was sleeping the fuck in, goddamn it.


	29. The New World Motherfucking Order

**A/N: Just a note, because I've seen a lot of questions regarding Jess's feelings for Cullen…no, she wasn't in love with him…Newton just really is THAT delusional. He needed a reason to blame Cullen on his predicament with Jess because in his head, her reasons for not dating him couldn't POSSIBLY have simply been because he was an asshat.**

**THANK _you _EFFING & ASH for BEING _such _great FRIENDs _and _BETAs!**

**READERS made MY _cyber _WORLD complete WITH _their _REVIEWS and _SUPPORT _and LOVE for THESE _characters_! (That I do not own)  
**

**Oh yeah, the song for the ending: "Mississippi Queen" by Mountain.**

"_**I may not be a smart man, Jenny, but I know what love is." - Forrest Gump**_

* * *

**The Dick's Epilogue ~ "The New World Motherfucking Order of Edward Cullen"**

**Roughly Nine and a half months later.**

**CULLEN**

"Are you sure?" I asked Swan, taking my favorite spot just behind her, placing my hands on her hips as she flipped another piece of French Toast over on the flat skillet she was using that morning.

It was Sunday. Our recently deemed, weekly "day off" on which we took turns deciding what we were gonna do with all that fucking free time.

You know, so we didn't get goddamn bored or anything.

I usually picked shit like the movies, or sparring, or sometimes even a twenty-four hour Wii competition, usually followed up with sex 'till we fell asleep, but It was Bella's turn this week and she liked to cook us breakfast first thing, said it was good karma to start the day with comfort food.

Who was I to argue with that fuckery?

It smelled so, fucking, good, too…but I really wasn't in the mood for eating.

Food that is.

If ya get what I'm sayin'.

"Edward…" she peeked over her shoulder and breathed in. "Put a shirt on."

She was trying her best to protest, and failing fucking miserably, if ya ask me.

"Come on…" I moved her hair and kissed the back of her neck and her hand stopped with the fucking flipping of the French Toast, then I added in my sexy, raspy voice, next to her ear, "_Tiny Dancer_."

Elvis was playing on the iPod.

I'd set it up that way.

What?

Just because it wasn't my day to call the shots didn't mean I wasn't able to manipulate the playing field.

I smiled against her skin when she sighed contently and I thought I'd had her, but then she started concentrating on breakfast again.

_Shit._

"Please, Swan…" I whispered into her ear again as I moved one hand around to her stomach and started gyrating Eddy Jr. who was standing at attention, against her lower back while my other hand slid underneath of her shirt, to her breast, palming it, pinching her nipple a little. "Pretty please with motherfucking sugar on top?"

"You're doing it wrong," she said huskily, placing the spatula down onto the counter top. She took my hand that was on her stomach into hers and she moved our fingers lower so they were now…_oh yeah_, cupping her in a highly ina-fucking-propriate manner, and then she took her other hand and raised it until it landed at my neck, grasping my hair.

"God, I love you," I told her as she tilted her head back to kiss my neck in a way only Bella could. "But even more so, I love how fucking, _acquiescent _you are."

She giggled and then proceeded to elbow me in the gut and when I was busy holding my stomach, she grabbed the spatula again and finished cooking.

"You're no goddamn fun anymore," I teased. "I think I wanna trade your ass in for one of those…"

"Don't…Even say it, Cullen," she warned me, holding the spatula up like she was gonna fucking wack me with it.

And fuck if she didn't break out the old, _last name_ routine.

"I give…I give…" I said, holding my hands up in surrender, trying to mentally reduce Eddy Jr. to just a soft on.

"We aren't gonna have time for that anyway," she reminded me.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, because that was the story of my fucking life lately.

She finished up with the food and after we ate, we ran through our case load for the next few weeks.

One of which was going to be a huge goddamn pay day.

It was a missing persons case, which might sound pretty run of the mill, but when you're talking about the missing daughter of a well known airline guru, it's no longer run of the mill, but rather, run your fucking ass off until the goddamn case is closed.

Another reason we needed to enjoy our "day off", because who the hell knew if we'd be getting another Sunday to ourselves for a while.

I was typing up an email to some idiot who thought they were contacting a fucking dating service as opposed to a private investigations service when Swan stepped over to my desk and fingered a box that had been annoying the fuck out of her.

"And, when are you planning on tossing these, exactly?" she asked, taking one of my old business cards out of the box, holding it up to me with her eyebrow arched in utter fucking perfection.

I smirked, because I had to admit, "Dick for Hire" wasn't exactly gonna fucking fly anymore, seein' how I was working with woman and all.

Pity, 'cause those fucking cards cost me a shit load of money.

I leaned back into my chair, clasping my hands behind my neck and said, "Well, we could adjust 'em and put 'Dick _and Pussy_ for Hire'…that would probably pull in a lotta fucking business."

She threw the card and the box into the trash and then pulled me out of my chair.

"You're NOT working today."

"I was just…"

"I know, you were _just_…and then the next thing I know, it's Monday…come on, we have a lot of stuff to do, still."

I followed her ass, because I'm not an idiot, and that point I knew she'd kick my ass ten times to next Sunday if I told her no.

Anyway, work could fucking wait.

"Did you fix that security system yet?" she asked me when I was about ten minutes in to chopping the fucking onions she'd handed me to take care of.

Living with The Swan took "honey do's" to a whole new level, I gotta say.

I shook my head and wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "I need the Jazzman to help with the wiring, I was gonna ask him what the fuck I'm doing wrong, it stops recording after the first ten seconds of the motion sensors being disturbed or some shit like that."

She laughed at me, "Well let's hope he's better with the wiring than you are at cutting onions."

She took the knife and the other half of the Redwing from me and told me to go do some other prep work.

Ten pounds of potato salad, macaroni salad, fruit salad and all kinds of other goddamn salads later, most of our guests had shown up and we started our family cook out.

Charlie and Jake had even flown over from Forks for the weekend to be a part of the fuckery and Charlie _barely_ remembered that shit I'd pulled with the whole, you know, insinuating that his daughter was an alcoholic thing.

Seriously.

He only threatened me with bodily harm twice.

Okay, three times, but still.

Jake had been spending a lot of time with Seth's older sister, Leah Clearwater, throughout the week he'd been in town.

He looked happy as shit and I had to admit, I was glad he had another distraction in his life, because even if he _was_ a really decent guy, I didn't need him obsessing over Bella's well being like a tic on a dog for the remainder of our lives together.

Okay, bad analogy, but you get what the fuck I mean.

One night after Bella and I had seen a movie with the two of them, I'd told Leah to be sure and keep an eye out for GPS tracking devices on her cell phone and she looked at me cockeyed but Jake just laughed and Bella slapped my arm.

Hey, it's only fair the girl has her eyes wide open to the stalking tendencies of the guy she's involved with.

But I digress.

A little while later in the afternoon of our family get together, I was flipping burger number three for Emmett, giving him shit about the amount of fucking red meat he'd consumed in one afternoon while Rose sat comfortably on one of the lounge chairs near us.

"You need to turn it," he instructed, impatiently. "Turn it, dude."

"Don't tell me how to fucking cook a burger in MY backyard, Em," I retorted.

"No, I think he's right, it's gonna burn," Jasper added, and I looked at him, trying to seem sincerely fucking hurt. "Et motherfucking tu, Jazzman?"

He laughed and then grabbed a couple of dogs for him and my sister off of the side burner and left the discussion quietly, rolling his eyes.

I noticed Bella staring at Rose with an odd expression on her face but before I'd gotten a chance to ask her what the hell she was thinking about, a squeaky voice sounded from behind us.

"Pay up, Edward!" Seth yelled as he ran over to us from the back yard's gate.

Harry and Sue Clearwater found my mom and dad pretty quickly and started in on their gab fest, waving to me and I raised the spatula to them to say hi.

Turns out, they weren't THAT bad…and they let Seth help with researching cases and running errands when he was done with homework and finished his chores.

What?

It'll look good on his college application and he's a smart motherfucker, he's good with details.

"Show me the proof, first," I insisted as Bella walked up and put an arm around me to see as well.

He outstretched his hand to me with the piece of paper I required and I handed the burger turning duties over to Emmett for a few minutes as I scowled at it, inspecting the teacher's notes and grades listed throughout the report card.

"Hmmm," I said, reading one note in particular. "Mr. Clearwater uses far too many inappropriate words in class." I eyed him and he shrugged.

Bella nudged me. "It's not like he has a very good example setter."

"All A's…wow," I seemed unimpressed and handed the paper back to him, then proceeded to walk away to get myself a beer.

"Hey," Em called out.

"Your shift, _bro_," I told him over my shoulder, winking, and he gave me the finger.

Seth caught up to me and asked, "Well?"

"Did you take all those leftovers to the shelter like I asked you to?"

"Yep."

"What about your friends downtown?"

"All have temporary housing as of Thursday," he said proudly.

"And the old guy?" I was talking about Jack, the old 'used to be somebody' guy I'd met and kinda grown attached to since my run in with fuckery a while back.

"Brand new Taylor T5 waitin' for him as we speak."

I nodded and curled my lips down. "Not bad, kid."

"Well?" he pushed again, getting a little impatient with me.

"And it's okay with your mom and dad?"

"Check."

I gave up and smiled finally. "Okay, meet me at the gym tomorrow after school and we'll start your training," I promised.

I'd made a deal to sensei his ass and teach him some karate with the hopes that not only would his grades stay high, but that he'd learn to defend himself against thugs like those gang bangers that were kicking his ass way back when.

"Sweet!" he screamed, jumping up and down, fist pumping the air around him.

Bella just smiled, shaking her head at me, opening a beer and swigging it like she hadn't had one in fucking forever or something.

"But," I told him. "Your grades slip, and your training stops until they come up again, got it?"

"Got it!"

He ran off to tell his parents and I was left with Bella again.

Alone in the midst of chaos.

I pulled her into me and kissed her beer tasting lips, smacking mine after wards.

"You taste good," I said to her, then took the beer out of her hand and took a drink of my own.

"Beer thief," she said.

I laughed at her and finished the beer off, then got both of us another one and opened hers for her.

She was goddamn beautiful looking with the Fall Sun shining on her hair, showing off all of her auburn highlights, making her eyes sparkle even more than they usually did when she looked up at me.

I took a few strands of that hair and pushed them out of her face, behind her ear, because anything that was blocking my view of the delicious goddamn chocolate eyes I loved to look into, was breaking some serious cardinal laws in my motherfucking opinion.

"Hey what were you…?" I started to ask her about what she'd been thinking about earlier, but of course, didn't get far.

"Edward!" Alice screamed and I looked over to see the commotion that was starting to happen in the middle of our guests.

"Uh oh," Bella said under her breath. "We better go."

"Fuuuuuuuck," I groaned out, but it was Bella who grabbed my arm and said, "Come ON, Cullen."

Again, with the last fucking name shit.

I left Jake in charge of the guests that remained behind and threw a set of house keys to him as Bella and I left to go run off to our latest crisis, then we hopped into the Vanquish.

In the car I was completely losing my patience within ten minutes into our drive.

"You need to take this exit," Swan was telling me, annoyed as all fucking get out that I wasn't listening to her directions.

"I think I know where I'm going, thank you," I answered.

"It's faster if you take the Parkway."

"There's traffic this time of day on the fucking Parkway, Swan, Fifty is quicker."

"Fifty!"

Pup jumped the seat and landed in my fucking lap and I cursed him. "Why the fuck did we bring him, again?"

"Because he's family, and this is something we are all going to participate in, Edward."

I rolled my eyes.

"Right, because dogs are really important parts to the process of…"

"Watch out!" she screamed and I nearly ran us into a semi.

"Jesus," I breathed out.

When we finally had made it to our destination and got the fucking worst parking spot, EVER, we headed in to the building in front of us and were stopped immediately by some short pimple faced prick who wanted to try and tell Bella she couldn't bring Pup in with her.

"It's okay, Jason," my dad told him with a soft voice and a hand on the kid's shoulder.

He was already in his scrubs and I wondered for a second or two if he was fucking Superman or something, getting there that quickly.

"She's on the fifth floor," he told us, and we hurried the fuck up there to see how things were going.

"I AM GOING TO FUCKING _RIP _YOUR BALLS OFF AND SAUTE THEM IN _BUTTER _SAUCE, CULLEN!"

We could hear Rose screaming from the other side of the hospital room door and I had to cover my mouth to stop the laughter from coming out in a loud as fuck and probably very rude bout of hysteria.

"OHMYGOD! AND THEN I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR ENGINE APART SO YOUR CRUISER IS UN-DRIVABLE FOR AT _LEAST_ THE NEXT FIVE YEARS!"

Yep, Rose and Emmett were having an illegitimate kid.

I told him I knew a guy down in Miami who could probably give him pointers on how to raise a rug rat out of wedlock, but he just punched me in the arm for saying that shit.

Em had already asked Rose to marry him, he loved the shit out of her for fucks sake, but she told him she wasn't having any part of a wedding until Alice could create her a dress that said size seven on it again, or some bullshit like that.

_Women._

They had been expecting to go at least another week before they needed to worry about their little runt making its way into the world, but as with just about every other fucking thing in our lives, the unexpected had stopped by to say hey…and to tell us to go fuck ourselves.

Everyone that needed to be there was in the hallway and when I looked over at Alice and Jasper, who were canoodling little motherfuckers, and I just wanted to start singing something from the goddamn Tony and Tennille show or something.

Not that I've ever seen that fuckery.

Withing two hours, which I'm told is pretty goddamn fast, Rose delivered a seven and a half pound, twenty-two inch baby girl and I gotta say, I don't think I've ever seen a grown man cry so hard in my entire motherfucking existence as Emmett did when the little pip-squeak arrived.

He's such a pussy.

Not that the little booger wasn't cute or anything.

She had her dad's eyes, and her mom's hair, and when Emmett handed her to me to hold, she wrapped her tiny little fucking fingers around my thumb and I'm telling ya, she had a grip on her.

She wasn't gonna take shit from anyone when she grew up.

Not if I could help it, anyway.

"Alright, Edward, stop hogging the niece," Alice teased me as she very fucking rudely took the little squirt outta my arms.

Bella kissed Rose and I told Em we'd be by the next day but to call if he needed anything as we left.

After we got home, we barely put our shit down before going back out again.

I grabbed Pup's leash off of the wall it hung from and we took him out to play for a little while at the dog park down the street. That's when I finally got a chance to ask Bella about what she had been thinking earlier when she was staring at the pregnant lady in our back yard.

The blush in her cheeks should have fucking said it all for me, but although I'm a genius with solving cases, I'm apparently a major goddamn idiot when it comes to women and their hormones.

"I just kinda got lost in a moment for a little while, you know…" she said, and I prodded her to go on.

"Uh huh…"

She looked over at Pup then, avoiding eye contact…sure sign of evil being a foot. "I was thinking about what it would be like, having kids with you…" she continued and I kinda did this half laugh, half choke thing when she said, rolling her eyes, "Settle down, Cullen, it's not like I'm ready for babies…"

I breathed easier, and then she snuck in there at the end, "Yet."

That's about when one of the other dog owners started giving us a piece of her very high pitched, screechy mind about something.

It seemed as though you could say Pup was…making a few new friends while he was runnin' around.

What can I say, like owner like Pup.

"Oh my god that was so embarrassing," Swan said, laughing as we walked him home.

"Nothin' like getting' your freak on in the middle of the dog park, Pup," I said proudly, to which Swan told me, "You really should find him a better name," and I informed her that, "He likes it, besides, it would just confused his ass if we re-named him at this point."

She laughed and said, "He's been hanging out with you way too much," referring to his dog park fuckery again and I squeezed her side, making her squirm away from me, which wasn't fucking acceptable, so I grabbed her hand and pulled her back into my side as we walked the rest of the way home.

After we got there, and I let Pup go so he could drink his water and eat his dinner, I put an arm around Bella and swung her around to kiss the fuck out of her.

Well, not _out_ of her…

When I noticed something.

Our office door was ajar.

"Door's open," I mumbled, letting her go, walking toward the room.

"What?" she asked, not quite following, and yet, following me.

"I closed it after we finished up in there this morning, it's open now."

Not getting a good feeling about this shit, gotta tell ya.

"Well, maybe Jake left it open before he took off tonight," she said and I thought, _Ahh, Bella,_ always the motherfucking optimist, but my life doesn't fucking go that way, unfortunately.

_Poor woman. _

"Bella, if Jake was in the office, there's a whole hell of a lot more to worry about than him leaving a door open…besides, I don't think he's that stupid."

"Well…" she started in on another possible excuse, but she didn't get far.

When I pushed the door open the rest of the way, it was pretty goddamn clear that it hadn't been left open by anyone we knew.

_Mother of messy ass break-ins by someone who was gonna get their ass kicked for fuckin' with my shit._

Whoever had ran sacked the office wasn't exactly professional…unless, that is, they were trying to confuse us as to what exactly the hell they'd been looking for.

Little did the dick heads know though, I was smarter than the average motherfucker.

_Or maybe they wanted you to know they'd been there, Cullen._

The case files were strewn around and the answering machine tape was missing.

I figured out within about fifteen minutes which case file had been taken.

The missing airline princess.

_Of course._

I let out an irritated sigh and Swan suggested, "Let's see if the security system will give us anything,"

Even though I wasn't very hopeful about anything we'd get off of it, I went and played the loop anyway.

"Not much, huh?" she said as we watched the perp come into frame, start to turn his head, then the recording stopped.

_Mother…of, FUCK._

Then I remembered a trick Jazzman had shown me back at his place, using the same technology he'd helped me pick out for our house.

"Hold on," I said, finding the computer terminals that the system was hooked up to.

"What are you doing?" Swan asked as I sat down and started to type in the keys he'd taught me to use to access the manipulation application he'd installed for me.

Bella stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders, rubbing circles into my shoulder blades with her thumbs, quite motherfucking wonderfully, I might add.

"Gonna see if we can zoom in digitally and get a better look at sneaky fuck face break in guy who leaves a big goddamn mess behind," I told her as I maneuvered the mouse to select the area of the screen I needed.

"Well," she said from behind me while the two of us watched, screen by screen, as the perp came into the frame. "There goes our day off."

"Yyyyyep," I agreed, when his face turned and the picture became clear as day, showing us the familiar smirk and I paused the player and leaned back.

"Guess he couldn't stay away, after all," Swan noted.

"Nope," I said, standing up, grabbing my Colt off of the shelf, loading it.

_Jackass._

"We could just drop the case, let someone else take it, that's one way of handling this," she said. But she knew better, she was just throwing me a goddamn bone.

"Nice try, Swan."

"Oh, now we're breaking out the last names, huh?" she asked sarcastically, pulling her own gun down from the shelf, along with it's holster.

"Hey, you started it," I teased, looking over at her, grabbing our credentials off of the office desk, wondering suddenly if there was enough time for some wall sex because every goddamn time Swan touched her gun like that, it made me wanna set up a play date for her with Eddy Jr.

"Don't even think about it, Cullen," she said, eyeballin' me as if she'd read my mind, but then she added, "Later maybe," winking at me as she spoke it, sneakin' a peek at Eddy Jr. before looking away.

My soul mate, ladies and gentlemen.

She smiled and then we made sure Pup had enough water before we headed out to go begin the hunt for our friendly neighborhood hired gunman.

I wasn't exactly complaining, I still owed his ass for fucking with Swan the way he did, and for his attempt at taking Seth's life a while back.

I just hoped I didn't look too eager to get started on finding James because Swan had her own theories about how unhealthy my anger issues were, no matter how far it seemed I'd come from when she first walked into my office.

"Want me to call Em?" she asked as we got into the Vanquish.

The truck was really only used mainly for hauling shit around these days. Until I could manage to make it mysteriously die, that is.

"Nah," I said, waving her off. "Give him a night to enjoy Rose and the bambino."

"Softy," she said smirking at me and I smiled as I started the car up so we could go visit the owner of Titus Airlines to find out just exactly why the fuck his daughter would be missing and what kind of ties he might possibly have to Aro Volturi and or James…whatever the fuck his last name was.

It didn't really matter whether the guy ended up being honest with us or not, what mattered was his body language and the subtle shit we would pick up on while interrogating him.

And that Bella and I both knew that in the end, we'd figure the shit out, regardless of the bullshit fuckery anyone tried to throw at us, and we'd solve the goddamn case.

_Together._

* * *

**xOo ~ THE END ~ oOx**_  
_

**That's a wrap, people.**

**Roll credits.**

**Hope you enjoyed the fuckery. **

**Love.**

**Jo…out.**


End file.
